“Th-this isn’t going to work out between us, Cadance. We... I rushed into this. I can’t go on living a lie anymore. There’s somepony else.”
My head inched slowly upwards until it was level with the mirror standing before me. My own sorrowful eyes reflected back. I had rehearsed those words for days, if not weeks. However, they never came out the way they were supposed to.
My eyes fell dejectedly as they swept across my reflection. Dark bags hung from under each eye, and my usually tidy mane was in a state of disarray. Turning away, a heavy breath left my mouth. I couldn’t bear to look at myself—a member of the Canterlot Royal Guard—in such a pathetic state. Why did things turn out this way? I loved her. Didn’t I?
It had been four months since the wedding and honeymoon, and on the surface, we were the happiest couple in Equestria. However, ever since the wedding, no matter what Cadance and I were doing, my mind was always on somepony else.
Trotting onto my balcony, a familiar sight awaited me—Princess Celestia. Overlooking Canterlot and all of Equestria, she stood upon her tower with watchful eyes. My insides fluttered slightly; a heat began to build within my chest. She was beautiful.
That day four months ago sprang back into my mind. When Celestia had lost to Queen Chrysalis, she lay on the floor—defenceless and weak. From that day on, I had wanted to be by her side forever in order to protect her, like I should have been. But things don’t usually turn out the way you want them to. That was a fact.
It wasn’t that Cadance made a bad wife. She was faithful, caring, loving, and loyal. She was perfect in every aspect anypony would ever want her to be. But perfection is as much a curse as a blessing. She was too perfect. If it were true that hardships and obstacles strengthened the bonds in a relationship, then we were being held together by a single thread. My mind drifted back to the many arguments we should have had, many of which, I tried to instigate myself.
***
After spending an hour in front of the mirror, Cadance rose to her hooves. “Shining, I’m leaving to talk to Celestia now. We have some serious girl talk to catch up on, so don’t be trying to sneak up on us.” She giggled.
“Yeah, sure,” I said boredly. My eyes were buried in a book.
As she walked towards the door, Cadance stopped abruptly. She turned to look back at me. “Shining, dear, I just remembered. Could you please run some errands for me?”
“Yeah, of course I will.” I flipped to the next page.
“Thank you so much!” she squealed. “All you have to do is mail this letter and fetch some groceries for our dinner tonight.” Her horn glowed brightly as she placed the two pieces of paper playfully upon my head.
“See you later, Shining.” She joyfully walked out of the room.
My face grew hot as I shook my head irritatedly. The pieces of paper drifted slowly to the floor. I didn’t even glance at them.
After an indiscernible amount of time passed, I heard the door to our room creak open. Cadance pranced in happily. “Hello, Sweetheart,” she said, stepping towards me. “Did you finish the errands I asked you to do?”
I closed the book and turned to look at her. I needed to see her reaction. “Why should I have to do your errands? You should have done them on the way back.” My heart was hit with guilt.
Her expression twinged slightly. “You’re completely right. I should have known you have more important stuff to do. I’m sorry.” She turned back around and headed for the door. I couldn’t tell if the smile that sat on her face was genuine or not.
***
Remembering this moment, I bit down on my lip. I was such a jerk to her, and yet she still did everything I wanted her to. How did things turn out so messed up? On the day of the wedding, Princess Celestia had told me, “Go forth and be happy.” But how? My love was forbidden. Happiness was unachievable. Maybe Cadance had cast a spell on me to make me fall in love with her?
After a few moments, I threw that suggestion out. No, the love I felt for Cadance right before the wedding had been real. I knew this for a fact. I slowly took my eyes off the Princess and walked back into my room. My eyes ascended to the clock that rested on the center of the wall.
She should be here an—
“Sweetheart, I’m back.” The object of my distress walked over to me. She gave me a quick peck on the lips. I forced a smile.
“Hey, I missed you. Did you finish everything?”
“Oh, not everything. I just wanted to check up on you, my love.” Small beads of sweat started to form above my brow as my muscles tensed up. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice.
“Thanks. I may be out when you finish, so wait up for me,” I said, waving my hoof. I had to make time to clear this up with her.
Giving me another kiss on the lips, she turned around and started walking the way she had come. However, after a few steps, she stopped and turned around.
“Honey, I love you.”
I flinched under the tenderness of her words. “I-I love you too.”
***
The air began to cool as daylight quickly faded into darkness. Anxiety had driven me from my room to the halls of Canterlot Castle. I had paced the Main Hall over and over for what seemed like hours, but I still kept going. Tonight it was all going to end. My world was going to come shattering down. Cadance wasn’t the right one for me. I needed more action in my relationship—more conflict. And nothing could give me that feeling of satisfaction like a forbidden love. I love you, C—
“Why hello, Shining Armor. What brings you to the halls at this hour?”
“P-princess! I was just, uh, going for an evening stroll!” I blurted out. I mentally gave myself a kick to the flank. I should have known that at this time Celestia would be heading to her bedroom after switching places with Luna.
Celestia’s everlasting smile did not change as her magenta eyes beheld me. Quickly, I averted my gaze from hers. I felt as though her eyes could see right through me.
“I see,” she said. “Is something the matter, Captain?” A sharp pain pierced my heart.
“O-of course not. Everything is fine here in the castle, Princess,” I reported, giving Celestia a quick salute.
The air between us went still. She stood silently before me, probably contemplating what she should say. Her smile relaxed into a more earnest expression. “Well then, I am happy to hear that. However, let me phrase the question a bit differently this time. What is troubling you, Shining Armor?”
My mind twisted and tangled as I searched for lost words. I couldn’t find any. She probably thought I was a complete idiot! Come on, Shining, think!
My brain was rattling like a carriage on a mountainside. A certain memory slowly trickled into my mind. “Princess.”
“Yes? What is it?” she answered, concern filling her eyes.
“Do you remember the wedding four months ago?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, I do.”
I paused for a moment before speaking. A longing expression formed upon my face. “Do you remember what you told me?”
Celestia stood silently in front of me. I fidgeted under her eyes. A lump the size of an apple welled up in my throat, suffocating me. With all my effort, I fought back the urge to cough. It felt like an eternity passed between us before she gave her response.
“That was quite a while ago, but if I remember correctly, I said to you, ‘Go forth...and be happy.’ That is correct, is it not?”
Instantly, I began hacking up a storm in front of the Princess. My heart pounded against my chest like a hammer on steel. I chose my next words carefully.
Regaining my composure, I bowed my head. “I-is that a standing order, your Majesty?”
Understanding seemed to dawn on her as her eyes widened to the size of horseshoes. I stood anxiously awaiting a response—any indication at all.
“Of course, Shining Armor.”
An unknown force tugged at the corners of my lips. With every inch of effort within my body, I restrained myself from jumping onto the Princess and hugging her right there. I knew what I had to do now.
“Princess Celestia, I’ll be back.” Before she even had the time to process what I had told her, I darted off. My hooves smacked loudly against the marble floor.
My breath came in harsh, rattling coughs as I stood outside the door to my—our—room. A dim light flickered in the space beneath the door. The sound of hoofsteps could also be heard. They sounded as if they were pacing. I sucked in a large breath of air before walking inside. My jawline hit the floor.
Cadance wore a stunning white silk gown with her hair tied back as it was exactly four months ago. All around the room, candles were sprinkled, casting ghostly lights upon all the contents of the room. I saw that the last candle had been placed on the balcony table along with two glasses and a bottle of Canterlot’s finest apple cider. I swallowed hard.
“Oh, Shining,” she said happily, “I wanted to do something special for us today. We’ve been married for four months now. Can you believe it, sweetheart?”
She quickly moved to my side and cuddled closely to me. Awe and shock were still written all over my face. I brought my eyes down to the mare besides me. Cadance loved me, she cared for me, and she went out of her way to please me. Though her emotions were directed towards me, there was no fire within me that rose out to her. It felt like an Ursa major had just run its claw right through my heart.
“No, I can’t.” I said in monotone. She gently ushered me out to the balcony. The cool night air served to numb my entire body as we both sat at the table. Her horn glowed brightly and in turn the apple cider bottle—encompassed in the same light—rose from the table. Carefully, she tipped the bottle of cider over, pouring the amber liquid into each of our glasses. Once she had placed the bottle down as delicately as she had lifted it, she resumed the conversation.
“Where were you just now?”
“J-just taking a walk to keep in shape. Looking the way I do is a twenty-four-hour job, you know.” She broke out into a fit of giggling at my joke. A nervous smile formed on my face.
“I’m glad you’re always trying to impress me. I can’t ever seem to take my eyes off of you,” she teased. Another blow from the hammer slammed down on my heart. The pressure inside of me was slowly heading towards critical mass.
I lifted the glass of cider to my lips. “Mmhm.”
The night went on painfully as Cadance spoke about every little thing that happened to her. In order to keep her from questioning my attentiveness every few sentences, I would nod my head or reply, “That’s interesting,” or something like that. I continued to wait for a break in her speech, sipping my cider periodically. Her non-stop words flew through one ear and out the other.
“Oh, you should have been there, dear. It was lovely,” she said melodiously. Cadance’s mouth opened again. I braced myself for another one of her monologues, however—much to my surprise—no words left her mouth. Instead, she exhaled tiredly.
“Sweetheart, it is getting late. Shall we go to sleep?”
She rose from her seat and strutted over to me. Cadance knelt down so that her lips were inches from my ear. Her warm breath tickled my fur, causing a chill to run up my spine.
“Come on, Shining,” she whispered, urging me to follow. I remained silent as I obeyed her command. Elegantly, she curled up on her side of the bed. Crawling in beside her, she watched my every move closely. Candles flickered all around, covering us in soft, warm light. She shifted closer to me until our muzzles were touching.
“Shining, how’s Twilight doing?” These words startled me. The last thing I had expected her to talk about was my sister.
I scratched my head. “Twilight? She’s fine. Why do you ask?” Cadance’s eyes stared deeply into my own.
“Kiss me,” she said suddenly.
“W-what?”
“Kiss me, right now,” she repeated passionately. I could have sworn, I heard desperation in her voice.
We continued to stare into each other’s eyes. I wanted to turn her down, but I didn’t have the strength or courage to do it. My thoughts raced. Maybe just one last kiss would change my mind. Maybe it would stop me from doing what I was about to do.I closed the small gap between us and our faces met. She kissed me intensely. The smell of lavender filled my nose. The next moment, our lips parted, but she remained just as close, if not closer.
Cadance opened her mouth, but then she quickly shut it. This continued on for about a minute, before—with a huge amount of effort—she spoke. “Shining, maybe we should work on giving Twilight a little niece.”
My entire body went rigid and I felt my stomach do multiple flips. It was now or never for me. This was my chance. I clenched my teeth tightly, saying the words I had been rehearsing for weeks.
“No,” I said hoarsely, rising from the bed. Cadance was taken aback by this. She hid her shock with a weak smile.
She fumbled, trying to find words. “O-okay, we don’t have to do it now if you don—”
“Cadance. It’s not going to be now, or ever.” Cadance’s eyebrows furrowed up. Once my words started to sink in, a high-pitched gasp left her mouth. She shot out of the bed.
“Sweetheart, w-what are you talking about?” she blurted out. “You’re starting to scare me!”
I sighed heavily. “This isn’t going to work out between us, Cadance. I rushed into this marriage without giving it enough thought. I can’t go on living this lie anymore. There’s somepony else.”
She raised a hoof to her mouth and took a couple steps back in disbelief. I could see the tears start welling up in her eyes.
“W-what do you mean?” she cried. “Y-you told me you loved me on our w-wedding day and that you would always be with me and only me!”
I walked over to the wardrobe in the corner of her room. Using my magic, I pulled out my Canterlot Royal Guard uniform and placed it upon my back.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t you I loved.” I opened a small drawer. Inside, I found what I was looking for.
She fell to her knees. “T-then who? Who is it you love?!” Cadance moaned.
I answered her. I told her every single detail about how I’ve been feeling these past four months and who I loved now. Tears were flowing down her face like a river while the anguish and confusion washed over her. I placed a small golden ring upon her horn before turning to leave. The sounds of sobbing accompanied my hoofsteps as I walked down the stairs to Celestia’s room.
“One pony’s happiness is another’s sorrow,” I muttered.
Raising a hoof, I knocked a few times on the Princess’s door. For the next few moments, my knocks were only met with heavy silence. I waited patiently until a soothing voice came from behind the door.
“Come in.”
***
The rapid movement of my hooves caused mud to fling onto me, staining my coat with dark brown blotches. The low hanging branches from the gnarled trees cut into my bareback. My breath was coming out in wheezes and though I had been trained to be a member of the Canterlot Royal Guard, the distance I had run was causing my legs to give out.
I should be close, but to be honest, I had no idea what I was even supposed to be close to. The only indication was the direction my horn had been weakly pointing me in. I kept on running straight ahead. After a few minutes, I had entered a clearing in the trees. The land was barren and desolate with nothing but a lagoon at its center. I slowed down my pace to a walk as I headed towards it. All around me, I could hear the creatures of the Everfree Forest screeching and howling. Less than a footstep away from the pond, I stopped. A pulsating pain within my head caused me to wince.
Taking careful note where my horn was pulling me, I knew this was definitely the spot. I knelt over the lagoon as if I was going to drink it, but instead I stopped to see my reflection. However, this was almost impossible because the lagoon was a dark green hue. I could barely make out my blue eyes in the pool. The air leaving my snout caused hundreds of ripples to form on the water’s surface. Suddenly, I jumped back. No longer were the eyes within the lagoon my own; they were were replaced by ones of dark emerald.
These eyes began rising from the pool revealing a mangled horn and dark cerulean hair. The Queen of the Changelings had ascended.
Her eyes fixated upon me. “What do we have here?” Her voice echoed menacingly, “Shining Armor, so far away from home?”
I bowed my head nobly. “I’ve come to see you, my Queen.”
“Oh?”
“Not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you.”
“Hmm,” Queen Chrysalis hummed, “and why do you think that is?”
“It’s because I love you.”
A wicked smile arose upon her face. “Now this is quite interesting. What about that sweet little wife of yours?”
I took in a deep breath. “There may have been a time that I loved her, but that time has passed,” I said. “When you replaced Cadance, I did notice a change in her attitude, but I didn’t care. The period before the wedding is when I fell the most in love with ‘Cadance.’ I felt a spark between us. The way she made decisions for herself, the way she would order me around. I respected and loved her strong independent nature more than her submissiveness. I became more attracted to this version of her. Everything she said held a burning passion that I just couldn’t ignore. Then the day of the wedding, I found out it wasn’t her.”
I paused to let more words sink in. “It was you. It was you that I had fallen in love with. It was your personality that gave me the thrill I needed. However, these past four months, I didn’t want to believe that was true. I forced myself to love the real Cadance, but no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“That’s why I am here now. I am not going to run away from these feelings anymore,” I explained. “I am no longer a member of the Canterlot Royal Guard. I turned in my uniform to Celestia and resigned from my position as captain. I am here to serve you, Chrysalis.”
A magnificent green light began to emit from her horn. Her eyes began to swirl as I looked into them. I felt a familiar sensation fill my head. Dizziness started to overcome me.
“Will you do my every bidding, my pet?” she echoed. Her voice seemed very faint to me now, as if she were miles away. Without my consent, my head shifted up and down.
“Yes, my Queen.”
