Ambition

by Gusto Starstorm

Rating: teen
Tags: Lightning Dust, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Drama, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy
Length: 1741

When the fires of ambition burn you, you have multiple options. For one certain Pegasus, the burns left her hurt more than she'd admit.

The fires of ambition burn brightly, but sometimes, when they are too strong, they burn their user.

This was something Lightning Dust knew all too well, as her own ambition and recklessness had left her burnt beyond belief. As she gathered her things to leave the Wonderbolt's Academy, a maelstrom of emotions ran through her mind, furiously trying to justify her actions to herself.

But unfortunately, as she saw that picture again, all of that went out the window.

(Warning: Suicide/Self-Harm tag used for one reference inside the fic. Also, strong headcanon/AU vibes.)

Published 2022-05-15 07:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-05-15 07:10:01 UTC

Getting Burned

“Darn it!”

Lightning Dust wanted to hit something. Heck, half of her wanted to hit somepony. As she gathered her stuff from the Academy barracks, the rage inside of her was directed in all directions. Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, those stupid friends of Rainbow Dash, and everyone else at this little boot camp had all earned her ire in one fell swoop.

“Why!? Why did it have to be this way!?”

She hated them. Each and every one of them. What made them so special anyway, while she was the bad guy? Just because she was willing to go the distance, to do whatever it took to be the best? They just didn’t get what she did! They weren’t willing to push themselves, and somehow Lightning Dust was the problem!?

She despised them.

“… Why did I have to be so stupid?”

But of course, she knew that was just a false pretense. In reality, her hatred was most strongly directed inward…

Once again, her own ambition had gotten the better of her.

She blew it, that was for sure. Now she’d never get into the Wonderbolts. After putting civilians in danger and earning the ire of her wingpony, Lightning Dust was certain no one would let her back in. And why would they?

She hadn’t even been considerate enough to slow down when Rainbow Dash messed up her wing. All that had mattered was collecting the most flags.

‘Another brilliant showing, Lightning Dust!’ she thought, gritting her teeth in frustration. ‘This is Cousin River all over again!’

The memories flooded in as she grabbed her suitcase, trying her hardest to keep from screaming her head off. All she’d ever wanted was to be a Wonderbolt, to perform for adoring fans, to be known across Equestria for her skills in the sky.

Now, that was never going to happen. They’ve probably already blacklisted her on the charge of ‘reckless endangerment’, and no way was any stunt team ever going to accept her with that hanging over her head.

She’d be lucky if she kept her job with the weather team with something like that hanging over her head…

‘No!’ Lightning told herself, trying to keep some semblance of conviction. ‘This isn’t the end! I won’t let it end like this! I’ll- I’ll form my own stunt team! And we’ll make those stuck-up Wonderbolts look like chumps by comparison! And… and…’

Slowly, the mare’s ears folded in defeat as she dropped onto her haunches. It took all her willpower to hold back the tears that were stinging her eyes. All that work, all that effort…

Every free day spent pushing herself to be the fastest flyer around…

Years of practicing with River Strider, training until she collapsed from exhaustion…

All a waste. All because she felt the need to show off when she was already winning.

It was times like this when Lightning Dust looked to Her in a desperate attempt to find answers. And this was no different, as before she even knew it, she’d opened the suitcase back up. The contents were minimal, beyond her favorite scarf and a few of the bare necessities.

The only thing that held true sentimental value to her were a few pictures she kept. Pictures that she would never share with anyone else.

Picking up the one with Her in it, Lightning Dust sat down for the last time, looking at the picture as if longing for something lost.

“I was so close…” she lamented. “I had the chance right in my hooves, and I just had to go and blow it. I just can’t do anything right, can I?”

Honestly, while She never answered back, some part of Lightning Dust’s mind desperately wished she could. At this moment, she desperately needed someone to talk to. Someone who understood her, who could have kept her ego in check.

Maybe that was why she clung to Rainbow Dash?

The other mare might not remember, but Lightning did. It had felt so nice to win those races as a filly, but once Rainbow got the top position, she didn’t give it up. No matter how hard Lightning Dust tried, she couldn’t achieve that again. And now they had been in the Wonderbolt’s Academy together. This had been her chance for them to be equals.

Maybe her chance to even surpass her old rival.

‘Yeah, and look how that turned out,’ she reminded herself. ‘Why couldn’t I just control myself, just this once? Why did I have to be so stupid!?’

It was times like this, the poor mare wished She was here. She had always been the smarter of them, and despite not being that confident, she knew when too much was too much. Perhaps, had she been here, things might have turned out differently.

But alas, She wasn’t here. She would never be here.

“We said we’d reach the top together… we said we’d be the best the world’s ever seen.”

That was what they had said so long ago, during that fateful night. The night of the Summer Sun Celebration, during their trip to Ponyville. The night where Lightning had thought she’d genuinely made progress at getting her sister out of her shell.

And then, not long after, she vanished.

And suddenly, a promise was broken, and Lightning was left living for two.

“This is all YOUR fault!”

The sting of her tears was too much, as she looked to the little filly in the picture. Her twin sister, identical in all but coloration. They’d been so close, even sporting the same manecut, and no matter how much travelling their parents did, they’d always had each other.

“You said you’d always be there for me! But I’m all alone! Not mom, dad, or even River Strider’ll take me back, and it’s all because you weren’t there!”

Despite her yelling, the room felt deafeningly silent, as she tried to take out her rage on anything she could find. The filly still did not answer, did not change her expression, or anything, because she was nothing more than some ink on a piece of paper. The last remnants of her past, before she’d screwed up everything.

And finally, a teardrop reached the picture, landing perfectly on the filly.

“… Why’d you have to leave me? I’m nothing without you.”

The floodgates were finally broken, and for the first time in years, Lightning Dust cried. She’d never been able to admit to anyone that she felt worthless without her sister there. How without Her intelligence to balance out Lightning’s impulsiveness, she was just too volatile for her own good. How ever since, she’d been desperate to achieve her dream, not just for herself, but for the one pony she’d lost. How she often dreamed, prayed even, for a life not lived; to find out that her sister wasn’t dead.

How some days… she wished that death had taken her instead.

The Pegasus did not know how long she had sat there, shedding silent tears for everything that was lost. But it was long enough. By the end of it, there were no more tears left to shed, and she could not bear to wallow in her sadness anymore.

Picking up the picture, Lightning Dust placed it back into her suitcase, utterly defeated, puffy-eyed, and drained of every bit of energy. She barely felt the resolve to take a step forward, but she knew Spitfire would throw her out if she wasn’t gone sooner or later. So, she grabbed her suitcase, and began her flight away from the Wonderbolt’s Academy.

As she glided away, the slowest she’s been in years, her thoughts were only of where to go from here.

‘Maybe I should turn back…’ she rationalized. ‘Maybe if I beg Spitfire for another chance, she might take pity on me. Or I could try that with River Strider, see if he’d be willing to help me until I get back on my hooves. But would he even forgive me when I cost him one of his wings?’

It was very unlike her, Lightning Dust knew.

But right now, the poor mare didn’t know anymore. She didn’t want to just give up on the dream she’d had since she was a filly, but what other option was there? It was pride and recklessness that had gotten her into this, and maybe a bit of humility was something she desperately needed.

The fires of ambition had burned her once, and now, at least for a little while, she would fear it.

No telling how long it would be before Lightning Dust was willing to get up and try again. She was sure she would reach that point but having everything you worked for crumble down is a crushing blow, like none she’d ever taken.

And the worst part?

There was no one there to help pick her up.

“I’m so sorry,” she said to herself, but more to Her. “If I could take it back, I would. I don’t want to just give up, but… I just don’t know what to do.”

In the back of her mind, Lightning Dust saw the image of her sister flash in her mind. The shy little filly who had meant everything to her; whose loss had devastated Lightning to her very core. Whom without, she felt like nothing more than a reckless little filly herself.

And after what she’d done today, it was definitive proof that she was.

“… I’m sorry, Indigo. I guess our dream’s just gonna stay a dream.”

Author's Note

Whoa nelly, this was sad to write. I'm genuinely not sure how good I am at writing full-on sad stuff, but I had some fun figuring out how to do this.

So yeah, now we have the other side of the story for Indigo Zap, as well as who the other filly in her picture had been. Lightning Dust is a character who I feel had a lot of potential, but it appears we couldn't turn everyone into a friend in the series. But I wanted to add some more depth to her reckless nature, and maybe give an avenue for growth if I continue with this little -verse I got going on.

As always, if you enjoyed, leave a like, comment, all that good stuff. And if you're interested in seeing this continue, then we'll see where it goes.

Until next time! Gusto out!