Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria: Friendship Sucks

By NocturneD

Note: I have to be honest with this chapter. I had trouble starting it because when you got multiple stories going along with some other works. It can get distracting where one project overtakes the others. I also wrote myself into a corner so please take this lightly.

Chapter 27

The battle raged on with the changelings and the resistance within the castle halls. Damage ranging over the millions of bits and still climbing. The flames continued to eat away at whatever tapestry or fine rug it could chew within its fiery maw. Changeling drone bodies laid waste in the various hallways as well as injured resistance soldiers trying to treat their fallen comrades or continue fighting. The battle was long and destructive as the walls crumbled from powerful attacks from the rainbow guitars or many rockets spraying all over.

Well that's what I would be saying if I wanted to draw this out any further. But I don't any longer so let's just cut to the last act.

With the castle of Canterlot demolished as huge chunks of rock fell off the mountain side. The ever-growing fire raged on throughout the capital of Equestria. Each side took huge losses and every pony helped as much as they could to protect the weak and escort others to safety. One final explosion boomed from the former castle. Twilight Sparkle with the assistance from her brother; Shining Armor raised a giant shield to protect whoever they could from the blast including their friends and family. Chrysalis and the rest of her troops coincidentally all out of stamina to continue fighting and stayed on the sidelines. Luna and Celestia tried to secure their lost sister into protection, they lost her once but swear to not lose her again this time. Meanwhile our heros Beavis and Butt-head just stood there and admired the fire and destruction. But Discord... Discord had enough.

All that stood from the ruined castle was Discord and the two teens. And the draconequus was not pleased. His careful plan to take back Equestria... Ruined. Ruined by two idiotic teens who cannot even read correctly. The two teens kept laughing despite receiving a few charred marks over parts of their body earlier. As much as he liked toying with others, Discord knew that these two could not be reasoned with. They were... They were just stupid and yet they came up with a plan to come back with an army?

"Well Discord?" Chrysalis coughed from the ash. "Did you factor in these two ever getting revenge?"

The draconequus stroked his white straggly beard while one eye twitched. "Oh for pete's sakes."

"Eh heh heh. Pete." The blonde chuckled.

"Face it Discord! You lost!" Rainbow Dash shouted from inside the shield.

"There is no where else left for you two to go!" Twilight added.

"No." Discord shook his head furiously. "No. This was all going so perfectly."

"Can't you just magic up some more defenses?" Chrysalis barked.

Discord then cranked his head towards the changeling queen. "Well my dear. I think now is the point where I think this is not working out between us."

The queen growled as her front hooves slammed into the broken tiles. "You better not be planning on cutting me out!"

"Cutting?" Discord smirked. "No dear. I was..." With a quick snap of his fingers a giant wooden mallet appeared out of thin air. Discord quickly grabbed the heavy tool with ease by its handle.

"YOU FOO-!" Chrysalis and her the remaining of her forces were smacked by the mallet with force of probably five hundred anti-changeling force fields "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL..."

The ponies watched in confusion and shock. The god of chaos rested his paw over his eyes to continue watching the changeling queen fly farther and farther out of the reaches of their sight. Until nothing was left, only the carnage left in Canterlot.

"Hmmm." Discord scratched his chin. "Probably should have used a golf club so I could have made a Tiger Woods reference."

"Uhhhhhh... Huh huh. You said woods." Butt-head pointed out.

"Yeah heh heh heh." Beavis chuckled. "But first he said tiger."

"Uhhh... I don't get it." Butt-head turned to his friend.

"Eh heh heh. You know like. Pull on the tigers tail?" Beavis chuckled faster.

"Oh yeah. Uh huh huh." Butt-head started to laugh.

"What was the point of that Discord!?" Twilight demanded for the god of chaos to answer. A lot of famous leaders throughout history resorted to the extremes once they were cornered. But to the chaos bringer, he could afford this major strike. The changelings were not doing him a simple service anyway. They fell like dominos one after the other.

"I feel like ending this my little ponies." Discord whisked his weapon away with as simple flick of his feline wrist. "That's why I'm going to make a deal with our fine friends here."

The mane six gasped as they gazed over to the two teens in question. From what they learned, their track record in Equestria was deplorable and chaotic. Hell, practically stupid from just looking at them. The chaotic serpent slithered around the two idiots and cracked a devious smile.

"My boys. The two of you have achieved so much chaos in a little amount of time." Discord cackled. "More than I ever wish to dish out from the start. So I will fill you in. All of this can be yours, if..."

"Uh... If what?" Butt-head chuckled.

"If you two play a little game with me. Best two out of three wins Equestria and the loser has to be imprisoned in stone." Discord dubiously offered. "I will select one game for the three of us to play, you two pick the other two. Since I'm so generous."

Rarity coughed.

Discord slid his gaze back onto the two teens after being distracted. "You two can pick the first and last competition."

"Uh. What's that about being stoned?" Butt-head asked with wide anxious eyes.

"YEAH! YEAH! LET'S GET STONED!" Beavis chuckled while waving his fists anxiously.

"Not that way you two dolts!" Discord frowned. "As in turning into stone to be displayed in the garden."

The two frowned. "Eh. I usually need to poop after messing around in Anderson's garden."

Butt-head turned to his friend. "Remember last year he won first prize?"

"That's disgusting!" Twilight yelled out from behind the rubble.

"Shut up Twiny Spermcell, no one is talking to you!" Beavis turned and shouted at the purple unicorn. "NOW SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"

Twilight rolled her eyes while her friends giggled.

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash giggled. "Dumb ass."

"Tee hee." Pinkie joined in.

"Don't talk about my sister that way!" Shining hollered.

"Honey, just let him have this." Cadence pulled her husband back to her side. "I'm sure he will apologize after this all over."

"Uh... No we won't." Butt-head chuckled.

"Enough!" Nightmare Jinn shouted. "PLAY YOUR GAME SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH! I WANT TO TEAR YOU BIT BY BIT MYSELF DISCORD!"

"Temper. Temper." Discord waggled his finger. He looked down at the two teens. "So, what is the first game?"

"Uh..." Butt-head hummed.

"Eh..." Beavis picked his nose.

1 hour later...

"Uh..." Butt-head continued.

"Era..." Beavis frowned.

2 hours later...

The game was thinned down to one. Most likely because Beavis and Butt-head had no idea how to play any other game. One idea did pop into their tiny brains. Discord went all out with the details of setting up a giant arena filled with whatever slaves he had left and somehow fit the rebels in as well but held them in place in their seats. Did not want them missing out of ruling all of Equestria.

Nightmare Jinn however. Did not want to play anymore games. She wanted Discord's reign to end where she can punish him in her own way. With the event foretold of a game of roshambo, her plan set to motion as she focused whatever magic she had left into the blond teen's shoes. It was a deadly move on her behalf, but she rather not worry.

"ARE YOU READY?!" Discord roared happily into the crowd. Many of them rooted for his despair, many of them chanted death threats. Discord cringed, "Ohh. Not very nice language for the kids to hear."

"EAT A DICK!" Applebloom shouted.

"APPLEBLOOM!" Applejack scolded her sister.

"Silence please!" Discord waved. "I will now explain the rules of Roshambo. It will be a one on one competition where one contestant kicks another contestant in the balls. If still standing, they will have a chance to return a kick to the other contestant. The competition will continue until one falls!"

"Sounds barbaric." Rarity blinked. Her friends agreed as they all sat in the front row to watch. With the princesses chained down as well, there was not much else the mane six and others could do.

"Hey uh... Where exactly is Discord's nads?" Dash asked.

"Huh?" Twilight pondered. "Makes you wonder why Discord even agreed to this then."

"Don't fail me..." Jinn, the nightmare version of Princess Genie slowly drifted off into the world of the unconscious. Her magic drained earlier to put her hope into an idiot child. Her magic acting like a guide, to know where to point and to add power to the kick. Quickly her sisters took notice and tried to nudge her awake.

to be continued.. now...

Beavis thrusts his black shoe into the lower abdomen of the agent of chaos who allowed him to go first. Praying that it would hit something round. Butt-head stood to the side laughing as usual while Discord stood proudly with his chest forward knowing that the idiot wouldn't find his prized balls.

"HA-ha...oh... da..." Discord felt a tight pain in his crotch area.

And with that... Discord fell to the ground holding himself. He loudly gasped for air. The crowd was silent that moment. Trying to digest what had happened. The impossible, became possible. The winner was the psychotic teen who liked lighting fire to ant hills and scratching himself

Pinkie Pie then smiled. And bounced from her seat. "MISTER BEAVIS DID IT!"

"BEAVIS KICKED DISCORD IN THE NADS!" Rainbow Dash roared in happiness.

"THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE HAS SET YOU ALL FREE!" Beavis pulled his shirt over his head. "LONG LIVE THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!"

"LONG LIVE THE BUNGHOLE! LONG LIVE THE BUNGHOLE!" The crowd chanted.

Discord then puked onto the ground while still holding himself.

"DA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAH-NAH-NAHHHHHHHHHH!" the two teens then pretended to play air guitars for the crowd.

To be continued... For real...

Author's Note

Yeah sorry but this was a short chapter because of other things coming up. I'm sorry, grammar is terrible and I'm sure there are some punctuation problems but right now I just can't work with getting this stuff checked over right now. So here's the first draft if anything.