Rider on the Storm

“Well it’s about time you sluggards got here!” the Storm King yells to his underlings as he stepped off of his ship, swiftly changing to muttering: “Idiots, the lot of them!”

Ahh. If Cid’s master were here, he would have no doubt begun relentlessly mocking the Storm King for the incalculable irony of those statements and sentiments. Alas, he is not here, but instead quite occupied with other matters.

Cid followed along behind the King as he stormed down the ramp into the darkened, overcast, and thoroughly conquered city of Canterlot. He did not know that Cid was here with him, of course: he was disguised as one of his elite guards, and was paired with another guard who, sadly, was not loyal to his master. That had the potential to complicate matters, but he was not short on plans to deal with that unfortunate happenstance.

After all, his master was not the only one who laid plans for success.

Most of the scenery passed him by with little notice, as did the Storm King’s unbalanced and bipolar ravings at the sights along his path. He said nothing of substance that he had not already heard from him a thousand times over.

No, it was only once they had arrived at the palace and passed into the throne room, filled with three of the four Equestrian princesses frozen in stone, that the Storm King said anything worth noting.

“Now, I hate repeating myself, so I’m only going to say this once,” he began, turning to fix Cid and the other guard with an annoyed glare. “Once the good commander Anonymous returns to the city, you’re going to find him, apprehend him, and bring him to me. Understand?”

Cid nodded his acknowledgement immediately, though his partner started at the implications of his words before quickly nodding alongside him.

“Good. You’ll be using these.”

He pulls free two pairs of storm beast sized gauntlets, obviously enchanted with storm magic. Cid knew what they were right away, of course, even before he and his unknowing partner took them: jailer’s gauntlets. They electrified anything living that they grasped on the wearer’s command, and could weave chains and manacles of lightning as well, ‘leashed’ to the gauntlets.

That would have been more concerning if Cid didn’t already know about his master’s unique interactions with magic. And, therefore, knew that they would never work against him.

“Keep watch for his ship. Intercept him as he disembarks. If that stupid little Tempest tries to interfere, capture her as well. Is that clear?”

Cid nods once again. The other guard does so as well, but too slowly and with too much visible nervousness for the King’s liking. Which he rewards with a swift, enraged punch to the guard’s stomach, causing him to double over in pain and nearly drop to his knees.

“If you know what’s good for you,” he all but screams into the downed guard’s face, “You’ll get your head in the game and do as I say!”

Another foalish temper tantrum to add to the pile. How typical.

“Now get out, both of you!” he bellows, this time unslinging the Staff of Sacanas from his back and waving it around in the air. “Start keeping an eye out for that traitorous snake, and leave me alone! Honestly, what does a beast have to do to get some privacy?!”

Cid didn’t need to be told twice, simply saluting and leaving. Hot on his heels was the other guard, thoroughly terrified and still recovering from that blow. Indeed, he was so frightened that he didn’t think twice about following Cid into the pre-prepared alleyway deep within the city, whereupon he was jumped and beaten unconscious by more storm beasts. Chief among them was none other than Biggs, freshly returned from his time at the front lines with his master.

After some triumphant laughter and an exchange of high-fives with his fellows, Biggs has them strip the unconscious elite’s armour off for himself. While they do that, he and Cid shake hands, followed by Biggs relaying his report.

Everything was on track so far, and his master had tracked the princess and her friends to Klugetown. Now they were pursuing them to Mt. Aris, and expected to have her captured shortly.

Nodding, Cid informs everybeast in attendance that everything is on schedule, and to continue playing their roles. With agreement all around, they all disembark to do their duty, taking the unconscious elite with them for safekeeping. That left Biggs and Cid to walk out of the alleyway, fully disguised and ready to play their own roles out.

It was then that Biggs began telling Cid about what he suspected his master and Tempest Shadow were doing behind closed doors. The information had almost cracked his ironclad composure.

Almost.

“Look at me,” Tempest quietly chuckles, a tinge of sadness to her voice. “The closest I’ve ever come to feeling like a normal pony, and it’s only because of you.”

“That a complaint?” you smile, raising an eyebrow.

“Mmmmmmm,” she properly hums back, nuzzling deeper into your neck while hugging your side more tightly. “Haven’t decided yet.”

It’s your turn to chuckle in response, squeezing her a little bit as you two continue to snooze away on Princess Skystar’s old bed, way up in the Mt. Aris palace.

Hot off the heels of the Klugetown getaway, the two of you made the executive decision to speed straight for the abandoned hippogriff capital at maximum burn, with the plan being to lay a trap for the Elements and whatever other unlucky saps they’d no doubt friendship their way into helping them. The two of you didn’t clean up or anything, instead staying alert during the whole trip and keeping your eyes peeled for any pesky ponies. Sadly, none wound up showing themselves. Shame, too: you’d have loved to do some good old fashioned boarding manoeuvres!

But she did remember how your furniture and bath stuff came from Queen Novo’s chamber, and asked if Princess Skystar had a similar setup going on. You, of course, answered “yes,” and remarked that you never bothered to loot it on account of looting Novo’s shit instead, meaning her whole-ass bedroom was ripe for the taking.

And man, the look she gave you after saying that made it perfectly clear what kind of un-Christian shit she was cravin’. And it sure as shit wasn’t more villainy.

The ship landed on Mt. Aris without issue, offloading a big chunk of troops before you ordered it to hide behind the mountain and wait for further orders by radio. Once you’d ordered the boys to hunker down in the empty buildings and whatever other hiding spots they could find, you and Tempest took off into the royal palace, with the excuse of getting a better vantage point.

Which was absolutely true, and not an excuse in the slightest. You just didn’t mention the other things you’d be doing before that. And apparently she was needin’ those other things done real bad, if her hurrying you along once nobody was looking was any indicator. She even grabbed your hand in her mouth and damn near dragged you into the bedroom once it was in sight!

Alas, you were still on the job, a fact not lost on her either. So speed was the name of the game this time around. And after the two of you quickly finished things up in Skystar’s very spacious shower, you made the joint executive decision to just throw your jumpsuits back on and pass the time cuddling in bed. Y’know, until those pesky Elements decided to show their faces.

Which, thankfully, hadn’t happened just yet.

“Just so you know,” she remarks, not moving from her optimal cuddling position, “I’m coming back here later to take the bath.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” you smile, before you remember something. “Shit, that’s right...”

“What?”

“My old bed’s still totally trashed, I forgot. I’ll have to get a new one.”

She shifts slightly, obviously feeling kinda guilty about that. Guilt that you don’t allow to persist thanks to a tactical squeeze with your hugging arm.

“Buuuuuut,” you continue, “There’s still the royal bedchambers back at Canterlot to loot. Betcha they’ve got some amazing beds!”

With a low hum that you can feel as much as you can hear, she shifts her body around, lying on top of you and holding your attention with some absolutely S-tier bedroom eyes.

“You know, I seem to remember you promising me ‘dibs’ on the loot there.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

Her head comes in close, her snout pressing itself against your nose.

“I’ll be taking the best bed they have. Only, I think it’ll be very hard to tell which one is the best just by looking at them.”

“So,” you grin, speaking in a low, almost dangerous voice. “What you’re sayin’ is that you’ll need to test each one, that it?”

“Thoroughly test each one,” she breathes. “Think you can keep up?”

“Mmmmmm,” you hum, hands wandering southward along her frame. “For you, Tempie? I think I’ll manage juuuust fine.”

“Good,” she chuckles, deep and sensual.

boom

Eyes widening as the mutual spell is broken, the two of you immediately turn towards the source of the far-off explosion. And wouldn’t you know it, the unmistakable prismatic nova blast of Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom is visible way off in the distance, cutting straight through the cloud cover in the distance.

“Well,” she sighs, annoyance thick in her tone, “They got here faster than I thought.”

You snort with annoyance of your own, complete with an eye roll. “Go figure.”

Reluctantly, the two of you pull yourselves off the incredibly comfortable cloud-stuffed bed and head over to the pile of freshly cleaned armour, suiting back up for battle in short order. Halfway through the re-equip, the portable radio - portable in the sense that an old Kaypro is portable, mind you - starts to ring. Tempest, being closer, picks the receiver up first.

“Boss, boss!” Grubber’s crackly voice calls out through the speaker, “Didya see the explosion?”

“We saw it,” she affirms.

“No, nononono, look closer! Look at what’s in the explosion!”

Curiosity sufficiently raised, you quickly finish re-gearing and take up position next to her as she looks out the window to study the far-away source of the rainboom. She looks more than a little confused by it, and it’s hard to really blame her, what with the ship’s big and prominent rainbow feather sails getting all illuminated by the rainbow contrail circling around it’s--

Rainbow feather sails.

“Oh my fucking God,” you gape, jaw dropping as the realisation hits you. “No way!”

“What? What is it?”

Out comes the spyglass, quick as a whip, to verify the truth of your sighting. And boy was the truth ever verified. Though it was a bit hard to see given the extreme range, you could still make out the unmistakable shapes of a full house of parrot-kin pirates, playfighting with their shitty little cutlasses. And some smaller, more colourful shapes that matched up to the Friendship Squad.

“Oh Celie,” you cackle with a few shakes of your head. “Celie, Celie, Celie, you just had to pick today of all days to be a dumb cunt again, didn’tcha?”

“What are you talking about?” Tempest questions again. “Who’s up there?”

“Okay,” you snort with laughter, collapsing the spyglass. “Remember a few months ago, how I was gone that one week to fight off those sky pirates?”

“Ah,” she notes, eyes flicking back to the enemy. “So those are the same pirates.”

“Eyup.”

“So the princess got them to break contract. Big mistake.”

“No, they broke my contract. Worse mistake.”

“Well, I doubt we’ll need to adjust the plan very much for them. Since I’m assuming they’re not very dangerous.”

“Nope, just slippery. And too clever by half. They’ll fold like wet cardboard in an actual fight, but are pretty much guaranteed to pop up again later, too. So we’ll only need some minor adjustments to cover for that.”

Passing the mic over, she weaves past you to resume gearing up, making sure to drag her tail along your side as she passes by. That little action adds another dimension to your smile as you give Grubber his orders.

“Alright lil’ G, game time. Get the ship into stealth mode. When our old buddies land, circle around and cut them off. I want the boys watching the foot path down the mountain for any escaping birds, got it?”

“Yessir!” he cheerily replies. “What about their ship? Want us to reel it in again?”

You make to affirm that, but Tempest cuts in:

“No,” she says, fully re-equipped and moving up beside you, “I’ll take care of their ship.”

She didn’t need to spark up her horn for you to know what she meant, but it still got a raised eyebrow pointed her way.

“Lookin’ to flex the magic muscles a bit, Tempie?” you smile.

“A bit,” she nods with a small smile of her own. “But I’m more interested in attacking from two sides. Just to make sure they can’t escape.”

“Pincer ‘em, huh? I can get behind that. You got all that, lil’ G?”

“Y-yeah, boss!”

“Good.”

“Stay hidden in the clouds until my attack,” Tempest orders. “I’d prefer to take them by surprise.”

“Y-yes, ma’am!” Grubber replies, still a bit nervous about her.

“Then if there’s nothing else, we’re heading down now. Over and out.”

She replaces the receiver while you flick off the power. You would’ve loaded the radio onto your back again for the return trip down, but Tempest decided to carry it instead, loading it across her back. It’s a heavy bitch, but you two are stronger bitches.

And with that out of the way, the pair of you file out of the bedroom and start making your way down. The trip goes quickly, but is far from quiet:

“So tell me,” she begins, “Do you think they can get away from us again?”

“I figure they’ve got one more getaway still in ‘em. But they definitely won’t get away for a fourth time, I’m sure of that.”

“Oh? What makes you so sure?”

“Rule o’ three, baby!”

She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t object to your logic. “Then I’d like to plan for when they escape again, not if.”

“Now you’re thinkin’ with portals!” you cheer with a snap of the fingers.

She’s clearly not happy about the prospect, but is a lot more mellow about it than usual. That’s always a good sign.

“Let’s start with where they could go,” she continues. “Any ideas?”

“Oh, that’s easy. The hippogriffs.”

“Really? You think they can reach them from here?”

“I’m sure there’s some path or another to get ‘em to those ex-birds. Not like it’ll help ‘em either way. Even after they make their escape and find whatever ocean trench the hippogriffs are camping out in, they’re still not gonna help Twilight.”

“Because Novo’s a coward.”

“Exactly. Not just her, but the whole damn kingdom’s worth. If anything, I can imagine Twilight trying to pull some really stupid shit down there. Y’know, once she figures out they’re not gonna help her.”

“Something really stupid, you say? Like trying to steal their pearl?”

“If she’s desperate? Wouldn’t put it past her.”

She nods, momentarily lost in thought. “I assume the queen will use the pearl’s magic to help them survive down there until that point. But once that courtesy is taken away from them, they’ll need to surface somewhere. Or rather, they’ll need to wash up somewhere. Once they escape, we should start scouring the shores.”

“I agree. Lucky for us that there ain’t much beach to comb. Besides Mt. Aris’s shores, there’s only really the Basalt Beach to the north-west. They’ll stick out like sore thumbs down there.”

“And now that you’re bringing that up,” she continues, very much liking this train of thought, “They’ll be too tired and too angry with one another to put up a proper fight by then, won’t they?”

“Well,” you chortle, “Guess you’ve more or less accepted their escape by now, huh?”

“No, I’m just used to this by now,” she sighs, before perking right back up with a sideways smile. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t wear them down.”

“That’s the spirit. We’ll catch ‘em, babe. Always just been a matter of time.”

“I know. It’s just that we’re so close, I can--”

She stops mid-step, freezing in place as her ears pivot towards a collapsed tunnel in the palace’s big entrance chamber, followed by her gaze.

“What is it?” you say, stopping next to her.

“I hear something down there,” she answers, voice lowered. “It sounds like... singing?”

“Singing, huh? Wanna check it out?”

“Of course. But quickly. We still have a princess to catch.”

Setting the radio down, Tempest falls in just behind you as you two start stealthing through the remains of the tunnel. A surprising amount of the debris is easy to get by with just a little finessing, almost like...

“Like it’s to hide the path through,” you quietly vocalize.

“Hide the path?” she replies just as quietly.

“Well, kinda weird how this rubble’s all sized right for people n’ ponies to slip by, right?”

“Hmm. Then I’m dying to meet whoever’s been slipping by, then.”

“Yeah, you and me both...”

That last word hangs out for a while as the strange familiarity of the singer’s voice finally clicks in your head.

“Skystar,” you whisper, once again grinning nice n’ wide.

“Skystar? The hippogriff? You’re sure?”

“Hard to forget her voice, especially after chasin’ her around. Man, that girl’s got one helluva scream on her, I’ll tell you what.”

You pick up the pace, quickly emerging into none other than the Mt. Aris cathedral. While the place itself definitely looks beautiful, what with it’s cool, dimly lit waterfalls from above emptying out into the big central basin, you mostly remember it for being the place the Pearl was kept. Specifically, how it was kept floating between those two big hippogriff statues flanking the pool. You also distinctly remember Novo and Skystar yoinking the Pearl from here before you could. Not your proudest moment of villainy, has to be said. But damn, it’s nice to appreciate the place now that you’re not in nearly as much of a rush.

And of course, there’s Skystar herself, her shadowy figure seen dancing around inside of some big glowing flower bud in the middle of the pool.

Tempest emerges soon after you, momentarily taken aback by the cathedral’s good looks. After giving her a moment to gawk, she shakes her head and recomposes herself, looking to you for direction. Normally you’d have stealthed your way over there for a takedown, but since she’s got the Sith lightning, well...

fzzzZAP

A quick bolt later, and Skystar barely had time to gasp at the sound before the flower was blown to pieces with a big splash, the distinctly mermaid-like Skystar flying away and landing like a fish out of water at the other side of the pool, dazed for a brief moment. She recovers very quickly, only giving the two of you enough time to approach your side of the pool. She gasps in fear at seeing Tempest. Then she gasps in abject terror at seeing you.

“Yo wassup, gurl?” you wink, complete with finger-pistols. “Long time, no scream!”

Eyup, there’s the scream you’ve missed. High-pitched and slightly warbly, just like mama used to make. But holy shit does she move like there’s a fire under her ass, just barely managing to avoid Tempest’s second lightning blast before diving headfirst into the pool. Not even a second later, the smoking remains of the flower are pulled under the water, and the whole pool starts to empty out, creating a big, powerful vortex that you are not fucking with.

“Damn, she’s quick,” Tempest remarks.

“I know, right? There’s a reason I couldn’t catch her back then!”

“I can see that. What now?”

“Well, my money’s on the Elements escaping through here,” you note, pointing to the now half-empty pool and how it’s already starting to refill. “We should pull some of the boys off of ambush duty and post ‘em by the entrance.”

“Agreed. Let’s head back.”

Which is exactly what the two of you do, backtracking through the collapsed passageway at much faster and non-stealthy speeds until you’re back in the palace. Tempest takes off through the palace’s exit, but not before informing you that she’ll be handling the guard posting by the cathedral door. Which leaves you nice and free to take up position at your own ambush spot: up high from one of the palace balconies, ready to Titanfall some bitches with all due menace at the drop of a hat! Though you did have to haul the radio up with you, so it wasn’t as nice of a walk up the stairs as it could’ve been.

Staying prone at the sixth floor balcony for the time being, you keep both your eye on Celaeno’s incoming ship through your spyglass and the radio powered up and on low volume for any updates, knowing Tempest would have another radio at her end of the city’s ruins. It’s easy enough to see that the Friendship Squad has done a bang-up job at befriending the entirely unworthy furry menace, what with how jovial they are with one another while they were en route. But that joy quickly evaporated once they were able to see the state of Mt. Aris up close and personal, all of that pumped-up braggadocio replaced with shock and fear.

The Elements got off the ship with a decent escort of twelve pirates plus Celaeno herself, all with their eyes darting about and sword hands ready to go wherever applicable. While they were too far away for you to hear what they were saying, it was easy to extrapolate that they were trying to figure out what had happened to this place.

Well, you happened, of course, and you were gonna make sure they knew that.

“I’ll start the attack once they’re closer to you,” Tempest quietly informs you over the radio.

“Copy that,” you quietly reply.

They were close enough now that you no longer needed the spyglass, so you return it to it’s place and slowly rise back up to your feet, planting one on the railing in preparation for your jump as they come in close enough for you to hear. Not like you have anything better to do while you wait for Tempest to start blastin’, so you believe a little eavesdropping is in order!

“--we’ll just have to find somepony else to help us, then!” you hear Rainbow Dash proclaim with a few boastful mid-air kicks.

“There isn’t anypony else that can help us!” Twilight scowls. “This was our only lead!”

Whatever that Fluttershy was saying was way too quiet to be heard, but it didn’t sit well with the increasingly stressed out Twilight.

“They’re halfway across the world from us! And even if we did get back to them, there’s no guarantee they’d be able to help us save Equestria!”

“Now everypony settle down, now,” Applejack interjects. “We don’t even know why the hippogriffs ain’t here anymore.”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Celaeno pipes up, kneeling down next to a pile of rubble and digging through it.

She pulls out a ratty old Storm King banner pinned beneath the rocks, presenting it before her new friends.

“Oh no,” Twilight gasps, “They got here first...!”

KA-BLAM

Aha, there goes Tempest! The pirate ship is absolutely shredded by a seriously impressive hailstorm of explosive lightning blasts, their vessel quickly going up in flames like a cheap fantasy Hindenburg. Taking the cue, you jump down off the ledge and land with a resounding THUMP, big cracks in the stone flooring spiderwebbing out from around the respectable crater you’d created.

“Correction,” you chuckle, words loaded with menace, “I got here first.”

“Anonymous!” Twilight cries.

“Anonymous,” Celaeno hisses, sword coming out in a flash and pointing towards you.

“Glad you gals could make it in time!” you cheer, dusting yourself off as you casually walk over towards them. “I thought I’d never get to give you a tour of Mt. Aris! Though the last time I was here, there was a lot more smoke, fire, and terrified hippogriffs.”

BLAM

Their attention gets diverted back towards the airship for a brief moment, the gang witnessing it’s final death throes as the fuel stores detonated from the inside-out thanks to Tempest’s handiwork. Hoofiwork. Whatever.

“You bastard,” Celaeno seethes, slowly turning back around to face you.

“First of all, in the flesh, on the ground, and always ready to smash n’ pound. Secondly, I dunno what you thought was gonna happen, honey. Honestly, I set you up with a shitty dead-end slave job for life, and this is the thanks I get? I’m hurt! Hurt, I say!”

“How did you know we were coming, greenie?!” Dash demands, darting in front of the whole group and jabbing a hoof at you.

“’Cause you told us, genius,” you rebuke, still smiling as she recoils in offence. “That lightshow of yours gave us almost twenty minutes to get this trap ready for ‘ya.”

Her mouth flops open to object, but it closes just as fast, joined by her ears wilting and her tail pinning itself back as a meek, barely audible “oops” escapes her trap. All while Twilight gives her a very angry and entirely deserved glare.

And then Tempest comes along, putting her bedroom voice to good use in a deliciously evil chuckle as she trots up behind the group, horn still steaming from her display of power back there. Once again, the group pivots around to look at her, a good chunk of them quickly snapping back and forth, not sure of who they should be more terrified of.

“Give the filly some credit, Nonny,” Tempest coos, mocking the Elements and friends. “It was very thoughtful of her to help us like that.”

A furious, beet-red blush sweeps across Dash’s face at hearing Tempest’s words. Y’know, you weren’t gonna assume anything, especially when it comes to tomboys, but you guess that this is proof positive that this prismatic tomboy does in fact have a thing for the fairer sex. Or did Tempest make a convert outta her with that stellar vocal performance? Who can say for sure? Not you, that’s who.

Also, she definitely just called you ‘Nonny.’

“Now, if the rest of you were even half as cooperative as your friend here,” she continues, “We could have avoided so much trouble.”

“Well the fun’s over, hermanas,” you chortle, snapping your fingers to signal the boys. “You got two choices. The easy way...”

The troops come out of hiding, surrounding both their targets and their commanders.

“Or the hard way,” Tempest finishes for you, getting a brisk neck crack in and timing a horn fizzle along with it.

The answer, obviously, is going to be the hard way, because that’s always how this goes. Doesn’t stop them from deliberating with one another about it though, all hushed and quiet-like as if you weren’t close enough to hear them anyways.

“If you want them,” Celaeno challenges, slashing her blade through the air for effect, “You’ll have to go through us, first!”

A simple smile graces your lips, followed by some knuckle-cracking and a simple, chipper “Okay,” as a response to that.

SPLOOSH

And then something you didn’t expect to happen takes place right behind you, prompting you to whip around to see what the commotion is. As it turns out, the commotion happens to be the guarded entrance to the cathedral getting all of the debris blown out of it with a big, high pressure blast of water, which also sent the guards flying and managed to give you a decent splashing. Three guesses as to who’s calling out and waving from her spot in the cathedral’s pool.

“Over here!” she cries out. “In the palace! You can’t fight him! Run!”

Since when did Skystar have a functioning spine?

You spin back around to react to the good guys, arms coming up to--

KA-BLAM

Holy shit, Tempest is on fire today! She got another huge detonation off right in the middle of the group, at the exact moment that they were all distracted with both you and Skystar! Seriously, A+!

Every one of the Elements and a good chunk of the bird-’people’ were sent careening off in random directions with a very respectable amount of force. Seizing the initiative even further, she’s also the first to issue the orders to the boys:

“Seize them!” she bellows.

The storm beasts jump into the fray, entangling themselves with the pirates and turning the ghost city into a warzone yet again. The two of you were already in motion, eyes set onto the princess and her friends.

Your first target, naturally, is Twilight herself, who was still a bit disoriented and trying to stand up. Noting the lack of any small purple dragons around, you take full advantage by readying up a Sphere. But as your arm pulls back to launch it like a curveball, you feel a length of rope snap tight against your throwing arm and prevent you from following through. It’s expected source, off to the side, was one Applejack, lassoing like a pro.

A prismatic blur impacts your chest hard with a dull metallic THWACK, and although Dash’s double-legged shove fails to send you flying, it does drag you along the ground, your feet carving out some gnarly gouges in the stone floor. The two of them work together, Dash beating her wings to maintain the momentum of her shove while Applejack uses her continued handle on your arm to direct you further away from the princess, who recovers just in time to avoid a second Sphere kicked towards her from Tempest.

Snorting, you grasp one of Dash’s forelegs with your free hand, locking her in place. In the same motion, you stomp the leg closest to Applejack into the ground and kick a big plume of shrapnel towards her. The rope around your hand slackens, allowing you to make a much worse throw towards an escaping Twilight that unfortunately fails to hit.

With a cartoonishly long “whoa” from Rainbow Dash, you spin her around several times before launching her towards one of the nearby buildings almost as quickly as she came, leaving a Rainbow Dash-shaped hole in it’s walls. Your roped hand pulls taut again with much more force than before, succeeding in throwing you off-balance just in time for Dash to come rocketing back out of the building towards you, landing a second hit on your chest that succeeds in knocking you onto your back.

“This way!” Twilight cries out. “Hurry!”

Welp, 2v1 is fair play. Can’t fault ‘em for that!

You spring back to your feet just in time to see Dash and AJ taking off towards Twilight, who already had the other Elements plus Spike with her and was currently occupied with shielding against Tempest’s magical attacks. Your charge after them, snatching yet another lamp post from the ground as you pursue them through the passageway towards the cathedral. Tempest, once again, falls in next to you.

“That thing you do with magic,” she calls out to you. “Can you use some of mine?”

“How much can you give?” you holler back.

“A lot!”

“That’ll work. Get a little closer!”

She does just that, allowing you to put the palm of your free hand against the nub of her horn. She discharges her magic into your hand with a small grunt of pain as you do your thing, and you grunt in a little pain yourself as you take the fresh orb of magic and dump all of it into your lamp post.

“Quick, over here!” you hear Skystar calling out. “Jump into the water!”

“Okay,” you call out to Tempest, “We don’t wanna be here when this goes off, so get ready to run like hell!”

You don’t get a response, and you wouldn’t have time to answer even if you did. You bring the post up like a huge javelin, preparing to make your spear-chucking ancestors proud. The Elements break into the cathedral proper, with the pair of you hot on their asses.

Then, at the exact moment you also enter the cathedral, you launch the violently arcing, brightly glowing post straight towards the middle of the pool, where the whirlpool had already reformed. Skystar shrieks and jumps out of the water toward the Elements, who skid to a stop in order to catch her right as the lamp post splashes into the water with some particularly violent bubbling and arcing that prompts Twilight to put her deflector shields to maximum.

That’s about all you allow yourself to see, both you and Tempest skidding to a stop before turning tail and booking it out of there. And not even a second later...

KA-BWMPH

The lamp detonates like a depth charge, the explosion reverberating hard through the entire cathedral. You can already tell from the numerous loud sounds of stone cracking that the blast dealt heavy damage to the entire structure just from the reverb alone, and the shockwave sent absolutely everyone stumbling from the blast, succeeding in bringing both of you to a sudden and shaky stop.

The sound of a dam breaking is heard overhead right behind you, and the sound of a roaring waterfall is heard shortly after, spurring the two of you to get balanced again and resume running like hell. You can hear the Elements plus Skystar screaming for a bit, followed by their voices being abruptly cut off by the roar and impact of the water.

The next thing you know, a wall of freezing cold water slams into you from behind, plugging your hearing up and knocking you off of your feet as the aquatic blast sends you tumbling through the passageway at a rapid pace. Mere moments later, you and Tempest find yourselves unceremoniously ejected from the passage, fired like Nerf darts out into the palace proper and sent skidding across the soaking wet ground, covered as it was in a solid inch or three of cold water that continued to pour from the passage behind you.

Stumbling to your feet, you make your way over to a coughing and spluttering Tempest, helping her to get the water out of her system and get her back to her hooves, a gesture she’s much more willing to accept this time around.

“I’m really starting to hate them,” she glowers, voice slightly hoarse.

Heh. Hoarse.

“Likewise,” you concur. “Let’s deal with the pirates first, then we can start combing the beaches.”

It’ll have to be a quick sentencing for those losers, though. Hmm, walking the plank over the ocean? Yeah, that’s a good fit.

Hours later...

“Twilight?” Spike says, trying however he could to console his friend. “I-it’s okay. You’ll figure this out.”

“No,” she sobs, “I can’t. I ruined everything! There’s no chance to save Equestria now. I-it’s all my fault!”

“Yeah,” you agree, “You were kind of a bitch, weren’tcha?”

It takes Twilight a moment to realize that you had just spoken, but when she does, she spins around with a shocked gasp towards you, treated to the sight of you restraining and muffling Spike. She rears back to try and blast you with magic...

KA-CLUNK

Only for the caging crews to absolutely nail their drop, trapping the princess in the magic-grounding black metal cage from up above and effectively ending your manhunt.

Spike cries her name as you spin the little dragon around, flinging him towards a nearby rock face and leaving a respectably sized crater as Twilight cries his name right back. Leaving you free to grab hold of the cage and ride it back up into the airship along with your increasingly panicked prisoner.

“No! No no no no no no! Let me go!” she cries, ineffectually blasting in your direction with magic laser beams.

“Nah, I’m good.”

You make a show out of admiring your nails while she continues her vain struggle, banging her hooves against the unyielding metal while occasionally getting a magic blast in.

“Why are you doing this?!” she demands, tears pricking her eyes.

“Thought I already told you why. Y’know, right at the beginning?”

That was clearly not the answer she was looking for, if her renewed and much more enraged struggles were any indicator. You let her get it out of her system. After all, there’s still a minute or so until you’re reeled back up to the mothership. She finally stops after a little while, her breathing heavy with exertion and strained with stress and sadness.

“If it makes ‘ya feel better,” you tell her with a sideways smirk, “You did a great job escaping for as long as you did! It’s just too bad that you were up against the A-non, baby. Ya’ never really had a chance.”

“Please,” she begs, hooves pressing against the bars as she gives you one of the most pleading looks you think you’ve ever seen, “You don’t have to do this.”

“True, I don’t have to do any of this,” you reply, drumming your fingers against the cage. “But like I said, even if this wasn’t an order from my boss, I’d still do this all again anyways, just for funsies!”

The loud, industrial humming of the airship’s monster engines can be heard droning away up above, and your ascent finally takes you up past the threshold of the bay doors, the heavy metal slabs making them up groaning with strain as they are slowly pulled up into their closing position.

She panics a bit upon seeing them close, and once they finally do shut with that meaty, satisfying CLUNK that you love so much, her withers sag and a good chunk of the fight leaves her. A little more cranking later, and the mechanism finally comes to a stop in the designated “intimidation room.” The ominous glowing orange grates weren’t actually functional at all, it was just for show. Not a terrible design decision, actually. Kinda gives you some Empire Strikes Back vibes, if you’re being honest!

“Alright,” you groan, stretching out before jumping down onto the grated floor, “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

It takes Twilight a moment to realize you were speaking to Tempest, who was walking towards the two of you with a very pleased evil smirk on her face. But once she does realize that, she gets afraid all over again, springing back up like a cat and wary of anything that might happen.

“Thank you,” she nods to you, “I’ll be up in a bit.”

“Have fun!” you wave, slipping by her.

She gets one more cheeky tail drag in as you slide on by, drawing a nice chuckle out of you both. She quickly jiu-jitsu’s her sensual chuckling to malicious chuckling as she approaches the captive princess, though you don’t catch what the two end up talking about as you make your way up through the ship and emerge up on deck, taking up position next to Grubber. Who had been dutifully steering the ship the entire time.

“Fantastic work as always, lil’ buddy,” you cheer, much to his delight. “Get us to Canterlot, fast and furious.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” he cheers right back, slamming the throttle to max. “So what’re we gonna eat?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, what’re we gonna eat, boss? We always eat big after a mission!”

“Oh we’ll be eatin’ good, don’t you worry,” you chuckle, “But like you said, only after a mission. And we ain’t done yet.”

“Aww, man...”

“Sorry, lil’ buddy, but the cake’s gonna have to wait.”

He pouts, but ultimately doesn’t stop his work, leaving things off in a comfortable silence and allowing you to survey the landscape as it passes by. And boy does it pass by; when this ship is cranked to max speed, it can really motor once it finishes accelerating! The Bone Dry Desert screams by in short order, soon leading to the thoroughly trashed landscape of Equestria, airships seen hovering above many of the smoking towns and cities.

And there, of course, was Canterlot itself. Only, you’ve already noticed the problem with it. The artificial storm cloud covering it is way bigger than it should be. Couple that with the presence of the second super-airship hovering nearby, and it’s not hard to deduce who’s shown their ugly face here.

“Fuck,” you grumble under your breath, more annoyed than anything. “And here I was, thinking I’d have time to test those beds first.”