Chapters Too Good To Be True -
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
ooo
It was another quiet and peaceful day in Ponyville. The mane six have all met up at the library, for the purple bookworm of a unicorn wanted to show her friend’s a spell she had recently mastered. Something complicated for a simple unicorn to try, but not too much for the faithful student of Princess Celestia.
“Alright, Twilight what's this thing you wanted to show us?" The cyan pegasus frowned, "I'm missing nap time."
"Cool your jets Rainbow Dash." The country earth pony, Applejack, eased her friend's temper down. She looked back at Twilight, "Go ahead sugar cube."
"Thank you Applejack." Twilight smiled. "Before I start, did everypony bring some hair from their family? Like from a hairbrush or just pluck it from their head?"
Her friends nodded. Rarity frowned, "Once you ask Sweetie Belle for something she wants in on whatever is going on, but she let me comb her hair and I got a few strands." The white unicorn levitated a hairbrush in front of herself. "If I may ask Twilight, what is the use for hair?"
Twilight smiled, "I was just getting to that Rarity.Now if you allow me the brush and a strand of your own hair."
Rarity heaved as she could not imagine taking one piece off her lovely mane, but for a friend she complied. She winced, "Ow... well here you go darling."
Twilight continued to smile, "Thank you Rarity." She levitated the two different pieces of hair to her tree trunk table top. "You are all familiar with paternity tests, right?"
"Yeah." Dash nodded her head.
"Of course darling." Rarity smiled.
"I know from watching Maury Povich." Pinkie giggled, "It's funny when he tells the stallion he's not the daddy and they jump around all happy like its a party."
"Oh yeah those are hilarious." Dash chuckled.
"Girls." Twilight said, with a slight raise in her tone.
"Sorry." Rainbow and Pinkie apologized in unison.
"As I was saying before, paternity tests are what help determine the exact match in DNA." Twilight explained. "To prove the link between parent and child or siblings." She levitated the hairs she got from Rarity and Sweetie Belle. "As you'll see here, this strand of hair belongs to Rarity, the other Sweetie Belle’s. We're going to see if they are really sisters."
"A bit obvious isn't it Twilight?" Rarity smirked, then let her eyes wander left then right. Twilight demonstrated the simple test. As the strands levitate in the air, the purple unicorn chanted the words she took weeks to learn to perfection and used the right amount of magic. Soon both of the strands were encased in their own magic bubbles. Soon the two bubbles started to levitate on their own.
"Now watch carefully for this. There will be a link between the two bubbles, If the bubbles and link turn green it shows that they are siblings. If it turns red then they are not related. Blue means half siblings, light yellow means cousins, dark yellow means somewhat related. Light purple is parent to child. Dark purple is grandparent to grandchild. Reddish purple is aunt/uncle to child." Twilight explained. "I will now perform that part." As horn sparkled, Rarity watched nervously, while the others watched on.
As expected, the bubbles and link turned a glowing green. Rarity sighed in relief while the others were amazed. Applejack was asked to go next. She gathered some strands of hair from her brother Big Mac, her baby sister Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, as expected, both links and bubbles turn green. For Granny Smith it turned a dark purple. Applejack was satisfied with the results. Pinkie Pie brought her own set of hair from the Cake family, as expected the bubbles and links turned red. Fluttershy did not bring any hair from her family, nor did Rainbow Dash, but just for fun they plucked their own hair and gave them to Twilight. It came out also red. Twilight was happy with the results.
"Wow. That worked better than I thought."Twilight said.
"Hey Twilight. Can we see you try it with your family?" Pinkie bounced.
"Yeah I'd like ta see that too." Applejack smirked.
Twilight giggled, "Alright girls, but first I want to share the hair of princess Celestia, Luna and Cadance."
"Oh that is juicy." Rarity giggled.
With that Twilight did the spell again. First she tried Luna and Celestia, definite green. Next was Cadance with the two of them as it glowed a reddish purple color. The girls were satisfied, but still egged Twilight on to do her own family. She pulled out the sample hairs from her parents and brother Shining Armor. First her parents, no surprise a light purple. For her brother a green color.
"There you go girls." Twilight smiled, "A perfect example of the DNA magic test."
"Oh let's mix and match!" Pinkie giggled.
"Yeah!" Dash said as she threw her hoof into the air.
"Oh come on girls, we all know they're going to be red." Twilight smiled.
"Well darling you never know." Rarity smiled.
And so they did for fun, and as expected they all turned out red. Though some of the girls were disappointed that they were not related in some way. Though it was wishful thinking. Twilight was about to put the samples back away in a safe place.
"Well that was a bit disappointing." Pinkie frowned.
"I know, it would have been awesome if we were that close." Dash crossed her arms.
"But we're close either way." Rarity smiled as they all hugged each other.
"I know girls. It would have been fun, almost like we would be sisters." Twilight giggled. "Makes me wish that Cadance was my big sister."
"That would have been great." Fluttershy said gently.
"I know, it would have been so great." Twilight wandered back to the tree trunk table. She was so smug about the thought, so she raised Cadance's hair sample with her own and performed the spell again. "She would have made an awesome big sister. We would play board games, play on the swing, and sing songs together." she said with her eyes closed.
"Hey Twilight, red means you're not related, right?" Dash asked.
Twilight giggled with her eyes looking away, "Of course."
"Well... Sugar Cube. Ya might be doing the test wrong right now." Applejack brought up.
"No, I'm pretty accurate with this." Twilight giggled again. "I can't wait to show Princess Celestia this."
"Uh... might want to hold off on that for awhile then Twilight." Dash frowned.
"Oh, don't be silly Rainbow Dash. Princess Celestia would be pleased with the results." The purple unicorn then looked at her friends who had awkward faces put on. "What's wrong?" Applejack whistled while looking else where. Rarity started looking at her hoofs feverishly. Fluttershy started rubbing her hoof into the hardwood floor. Rainbow Dash had her mouth open like she seen something gross. Pinkie Pie just... Well, she just sat there smiling at the glowing bubbles. Twilight then turned her head to find the bubbles and link glowing... blue...
"Okay girls, which one of you messed with the spell?" Twilight chuckled. Not one of them answered, "Come on girls, I won't be mad."
They did not answer.
"Girls... come on this is pretty mean." She asked again.
The girls kept silent. Looking at each other in worry and a bit of surprise.
"Okay then." Twilight frowned. "I'll just do the test again just to prove you might have done something to it." Within a few short seconds she redid the test. "And... TADA!" She raised her forelegs, "There you go, Cadance and I are not related..." But still the bubbles and link glowed blue. She looked down. "...There has to be something wrong, Maybe her hair brushed up against mine or something..." She pulled out another sample of Cadance's hair and plucked her own. She did the test again and...
Twilight's face turned from surprised... to disbelief... then disgust.
"Oh... my... Celestia..." Twilight said out loud. Next she wanted to hurl. "We're half sisters... And she's married to my brother..."
The girls kept silent.
"Oh nononono. NO!" She flipped all of her equipment off the table and was pacing back and forth freaking out. "I know I wanted her to my sister... WHEN I WAS YOUNGER!"
The girls looked at each other nervously.
"Why! Oh my they did the nasty on their wedding night!" Twilight shouted as her eyes bulged.
"Now Twilight... maybe this is one of those things that is better left alone." Rarity put on her poker face.
"I can't look at those two kissing!" Twilight shouted then went back to moaning.
"Come on Twilight, maybe their kids won't turn out so... Never mind statement retracted." Rainbow Dash frowned.
Twilight paced back and forth while her hair is messed up. Her crazy grin returned. "Well, let's look at the pros and cons. Pro I'm related to princess Celestia... in some way." She continued to pace. "Con, those two will have mentally challenged alicorn kids. Pro, I get to use the royal library without being told I'm not old enough to check out certain books. Con, this gets out and the Sparkle family is seen as a bunch of inbred freaks."
The girls looked at each other again.
"Pro, I get the use the royal carriage whenever I want." She frowned, "Con... I get sick everytime I look at those two together. There are fliers still left up from the royal wedding, pictures everywhere and everypony knows about it... GAH!"
Twilight started to feel woozy. "Girls... I think I need to lay down for now."
That night, Twilight took a long cold shower. Her friends promised not to say anything to anypony about this. She debated to herself if she should tell her brother or not. What was worse, she ran the test over and over again and found out something even more shocking. Her own father as also Cadance's father. There had to have been an explanation to this somewhere. Maybe he didn't know, she wanted to throw up. She cried herself to sleep that night.
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
ooo
Ever since Twilight Sparkle ran the DNA test spell days earlier, she had locked herself in her library. Scared of the outside world thinking everypony in her family were nothing but inbred freaks. The thought scared her, no mortified her to no extent. Every few hours she would run the test again and again just to hope she did it incorrectly the previous time, but alas the results were the same as she worked herself into exhaustion. Her sister-in-law was indeed her half sister. The thought of the princess being her family member would have dazzled her mind long ago but now as the times changed, it just sickened her to no end. She forced herself to throw up every time she ran another test. Twilight kept telling herself she was doing it wrong, she went over every detail. Every time it ended with the same result.
She would take cold showers, curse to herself and cry herself to sleep. Every morning she still felt sick. She sometimes skipped meals where it started to make her weary, but after her assistant Spike the dragon finally had enough, they had an intervention. Pinkie Pie did not help the situation as whatever she said was complete nonsense, but she brought cupcakes. Rarity lead the charge in Twilight's crisis telling her she can not waste her time doing the test over and over hoping the results will be different. Applejack tells her if she can not deal with the news then it was probably better that she told somepony else besides her friends. Rarity then suggested a doctor. Rainbow Dash just told her to confront her father about the findings. This caused a debate between the friends, as Twilight sat bewildered at her friends attempt to help.
Really how would you feel if your bride was really your half-sister this entire time? Twilight not only worried about herself, but also her brother. How would he react? How would Cadence react?
"Why not just confront her dad?" Dash asked. "It's obvious he's the pony to go to."
"But does he even know?" Rarity asked. "Let alone aware the possibility?"
"Well... If he did then he should have stopped the wedding darn tootin." Applejack added.
"Hey, it's not going to help if she just sits here." Dash pointed out.
"I'm not one for ruining a good marriage either but just think of the hounding those two will get." Rarity countered. "Royalty will surely take a hit for this because Celestia performed the marriage."
"There does not need to be any hounding!" Dash argued back. "Just ask her dad."
"How come nopony checked for this before the wedding?" Applejack scratched her head.
"No girls... Rainbow is right." Twilight stood up finally, "I'm going to ask my dad and try to get the full story." Her eyes wandered, "If there is one."
With that said, Twilight Sparkle packed her things, finished some of her business in Ponyville and sent a letter to her parents that she would be visiting them. Though of course, that was only the half truth. Her prime target is her father. She left Spike in charge of the library and asked her friends to check in on him from time to time. This was something she had to do alone. No need to get her friends wrapped up into this mess.
While riding on the train, and she had a lot of time to think about what she wanted to ask. She replayed the possible scenarios in her head many times. She could just sit down with her father and ask him straight, but chances are he would deny it or even think she's crazy. She could corner him, accuse him of being unfaithful to her mother and force the answers out of him. All in all it was obvious the latter was the last resort. She finally made it to Canterlot, it took six hours because of the constant stops along the way, but she finally made it. She brought two luggage bags with her and walked off the train. Her parents were there to greet her with a hug and a smile.
She figured she would spare the first night for peace, before the storm starts. She and her parents spent some quality time as much as a half a day would let them; seeing a movie, going out to dinner, window shopping. Yet Twilight could not shake the sickening feeling she had for her father. How much she wanted to corner him and demand answers, accuse him of being a pervert. Reluctantly... She kept quiet about it. Her eyes locked onto the aged stallion like a hawk. Her lips tightened with frustration, teeth clenched.
After a fun day Twilight laid on the guest bed. What used to be her room was now converted into a guest room. What originally had blue wall paper with stickers of stars and planets, was now replaced with plain green wallpaper. Shelfs were taken down, the room was practically remodeled, it was barely recognizable anymore. Yet her demented thoughts poked at her again and again preventing her from sleeping. Her teeth grit like rocks as her memories of those two kissing, dancing, and flirting with each other resurfaced. It remained this way for hours, Luna's moon slowly dove over the mountains to disappear from Twilight's sight as she looked at the window. Celestia's sun was ready to say hello, when she finally managed to catch some sleep. Not that her thoughts did not move into her dreams.
She woke up then looked at the clock on the wall. "11:49 am," She moaned the herself. She never had many days to sleep in but if she did it would always be before ten. She undid the zipper to her luggage and retrieved her bathroom utensils. Brushing her teeth, washing her face and then grabbed a quick shower, but still her conscience felt unclean. After taking care of her business she walked down the stairs to find lunch was being made. A sight she missed seeing, mother making the meals while father just read the paper. Twilight greeted her parents, her parents joked about her being a sleepy head but that rolled off her back. Twilight Velvet made Twilight her favorite, peanut butter and daisy sandwiches. Oh how she missed her mother's version of her favorite snack. She ate happily, well as happily as she could with her eyes were still set on her unsuspecting father.
Twilight Velvet then said she was going to a book club later with her friends. She asked Twilight if she would like to go. How could Twilight say no to a book? She accepted and her mother told her that it would be later that afternoon, but first she had to go do some shopping at the grocery store. Orion; her father, was going to stay at home and pay the bills. Twilight volunteered to stay home as well as she wanted to write a letter to her friends. Velvet just shrugged and went off. Twilight watched as her mother left the house, watching her every move to make sure she had everything. The door slammed. Twilight went to the window to watch Velvet walk up the street and then finally turn a corner.
This was it, Twilight took a deep breath and walked back to the kitchen where he father was sitting still. She stood still in the doorway, she cleared her throat. "Dad?"
The blue stallion looked up, "Yes Twinky?" How much she hated that nickname.
"Can we... discuss something?" Twilight frowned.
"Sure, pull up a chair." He waved his forehoof as an invitation to sit down. She sat down next to him.
"So what's on your mind Twinky?" He asked sliding the bills to the other side of the table.
"Um... I just wanted to talk about Shining Armor and Cadance." Twilight rubbed her shoulder.
He raised an eyebrow, "And what about them? They do something?"
Her eyes wandered, "It's just... What do you think of Cadance?"
Orion chuckled. "What do you mean Twinky? As a pony?" Twilight nodded, "Oh. Well she's is a very bright pony and good with kids. I think she's honest, very polite, a bit bossy to your brother. Reason why is that she helped you from time to time. I remember you wanted us to get her to foal sit you all the time when your mother and I went out. You really looked up to her like she was a sister." He chuckled again. Twilight breathed through her teeth. Immediately he picked up on something. "Is something wrong?"
"Actually dad... There is something wrong." Twilight stood up from her seat.
"And it's about Cadance and your brother?" He asked. "Twilight is it something serious?"
"Um. Just a second." She nodded, "I want to get something that will make this easier to explain."
Orion frowned and said in a head scratching tone, "Oh. Okay then Twinky."
Twilight raced up the stairs and opened her luggage again to retrieve the samples of hair from her tests earlier. Carefully she looked over them again as she raised them to her face. Plastic baggies with hair in them, labeled. This was it, she walked back downstairs to find her father waiting. She sat back down and placed the baggies in front of him.
"And these are?" Orion asked, he was confused why his daughter would bring something like this.
"I learned a new spell quite some time ago." Twilight frowned. "It took awhile to perfect but now I can do it pretty much accurately with little to no fail."
"That's great." Orion smiled. "You were always a fast learner."
"It's a DNA testing spell dad." Twilight looked saddened as she sorted through the baggies.
"And?" He asked.
"Well I was testing it on my friends with their siblings. Then we decided to mix and match for fun but according to how the spell works it worked just as it said it would." Twilight explained, "Now, I want to make sure you're ready for this dad."
"Did you find something?" Orion crossed his arms, looked bewildered.
"I'm sorry dad but..." She looked up at him, saddened with her lip trembling, "Is there anything you want to tell me before I do this?"
"Twilight?" He stood up and held her close, "What's wrong? Come on don't leave daddy in the dark. If it's important then tell me?"
She looked up, "Dad?... Do you have any regrets?"
"Regrets?" He asked.
"Anything dad? Before I show you?" She trembled.
"Twilight just tell me!" Orion ordered. He wanted to know what was bugging her, making her distressed. "Why did you bring up Cadance and Shining Armor?"
"Damn it dad!" Twilight hollered, "Cadance is my half-sister! You're her father! Explain that!"
Orion blinked. He stepped away from his daughter quickly, knocking over his chair in the process among some silverware that was still on the table he brushed past.
He shook his head, "You're lying... you have to be."
"I'm not." Twilight heaved, "I can prove it." The purple unicorn explained how the spell worked. What the colors represented. And with no surprise, the result came out like before. Her link with Cadance was the same color as before. She then plucked one of her own father's hairs from his head and did the test again. Then showing within seconds, he was her father. He just sat there. In disbelief and quiet. Eyes remaining perfectly centered.
"Dad?" Twilight asked. She approached him. "Dad?"
Slowly he turned his head to her. Saying under his breath, "I... I can't believe it... I'm... sorry."
"I'm sorry dad... but I had to show you." Twilight sat down beside her father. "I want to know the truth..."
Orion took a deep breath and slid his head back. Letting his head bang on the wooden frame of the lower cupboard below the table top level. "Truth is... I had no idea. How this could even be possible?"
"Dad?..." Twilight asked, "Did you cheat on mom with another mare?"
Orion blinked, then took a deep breath, "It was such a long time ago and it only happened one time..."
Twilight just sat there and let her dad explain.
"You're mother and I were married for three years at the time we had your brother finally. But things really went sour between us because she left her job just to raise a family while I decided I was still going to work. She was stuck at home and every time I came back she was miserable and yelled at me every time. I argued back but it did not do any good. We had a baby finally..." Orion rubbed his forehead a bit then continued, "I worked for a few years at the academy before you were even born. I knew princess Celestia a bit as I was one of her staff for that school. Then I met... one of her sisters Venus who was going to stay awhile at the castle."
Twilight knew where this was headed but she let her father continue. "Venus and I... Well it was awkward at first but it eventually became something for a one night stand. Why I did it? I felt pretty unappreciated at home because of your mother yelling at me saying stuff. Her parents talking behind my back saying I was no good. They just did not like me... After I came home, I never said anything and went on continuing loving your mother. I felt like garbage for what I did. But that night..." He looked at Twilight with dead eyes, "That night was one of the biggest mistakes of my life that kept haunting me."
"So what happened to Venus?" Twilight asked.
"She eventually went back to her own kingdom after that night I had with her. I assume she did not tell the princess anything." Orion said.
"So what did Venus look like?" Twilight asked again.
Her father shook his head again and again. He took a deep breath, "She had a light pink coat. Had mostly pink and blond mane. Was an alicorn just like Celestia..." Twilight closed her mouth after the jaw dropping description he just said.
"Dad... was that the only affair you ever had?" She asked.
Slowly he nodded his head, "That is the only one..."
"Did Cadance seem, familiar?" She asked.
Orion sighed, "Did not cross my mind until now. We never really got to meet Cadance's parents now did we? I mean... well..." He turned his head, "Did you tell anypony else?"
Twilight nodded, "Just my friends know... but they promised to keep it a secret."
"Does Shining Armor and Cadance know?" He asked.
Twilight shook her head. "I did not even tell mom yet, nor princess Celestia... just you."
"Right..." Her father nodded, "While I'm going to be gutted by your mother. The princess might have trouble accepting this news as well..."
They sat like that for ten minutes, mumbling about how impossible this sounded. Yet was also awful, the possibilities, the signs that slipped past Orion's mind. The thought of those two having relations just assaulted his brain over and over again. It was no doubt that the newly weds already done the deed several times. Orion hated himself, one little affair, lead up to this.
The front door opened, "Sorry I'm back so soon. There was really nothing on sale at the store as I hoped for..." Velvet closed the door behind herself as she shuffled the grocery bags with her magic and proceeded into the kitchen. To find her husband and daughter sitting on the floor.
"What in Equestria happened in here?" Velvet asked.
Slowly her husband looked up. "Twilight found out something interesting about Cadance."
Velvet placed the bags on the table top, "By looking at everything is on the floor it's not good. I mean... seriously you two? Can’t clean up?"
"Mom, please." Twilight said.
"Let me guess, her and Shining Armor had a big fight and you two are upset about it." Velvet chuckled. Reaching for the glass jar of pickles to put it away.
“Honey. I love you but this could ruin our son’s life.” Orion hung his head in shame.
“Ruin his life how?” Velvet frowned.
"Mom, it turns out that Cadance is my half-sister, and dad is her father." Twilight frowned.
After that came the sound of a glass jar smashing into the kitchen floor...
Too Good To Be True-
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
Warning: Contains some language
ooo
Pickle juice spread across the tiled kitchen floor. Touching the white mare's hooves as she remained frozen from the shock. The shock of hearing that her happy marriage has hit a snag hidden from her for so long. Not only that, her husband had an affair with her daughter in law's mother. Making it even worse, her son married her of all the ponies in Equestria. Why? Why? Her eyes bulged and twitched, and her horn buzzed with an electrical current like she was going to have a nuclear meltdown.
Her hoofs slammed onto the countertop, teeth grinding. She turned fiercely to her husband with her mouth covered. "No." She shook her head. "Tell me this is just a joke." Her horn was glowing brighter and brighter.
Orion hung his head in shame and did not even make an effort to explain. His daughter said it truthfully to her mother. She just kept telling herself it had to be a joke. "No. No." She kept shaking her head in disbelief as if nothing was wrong. "Whatever you two made up is sick, stupid, and immature." Slowly she growled at Twilight, "I don't know what brought this on but it has to stop. Let your brother be happy with his wife."
Orion kept quiet. His head still hung low in shame.
"Mom... This has everything to do with me and Shining Armor, even dad and you." Twilight managed to stand up, not taking any more guff. "I learned a new spell that acts like a DNA test and I tried it with my friends and their family. Then us, just watch." Twilight wasted no time showing off her spell and explaining how it works.
With that, Velvet's mouth was open a just walked out of the kitchen and into the family room. Straight to the liquor cabinet she went and poured herself a gin and tonic with extra ice. Twirling her glass for a bit then gulped half of it down. Slamming it down, causing the ice to jingle inside.
"TWILIGHT!" Her mother heaved, her anger infused with her magic managed to put a huge dent in the wall as she screamed.
Twilight practically brought this onto herself, but she was scared. "Yes?"
"Are you sure it's accurate?" Velvet heaved again, almost to her breaking point. "One hundred percent?"
Twilight tried to think back, "Well... Yes. One hundred percent accurate , I spent weeks learning it."
"Then maybe you messed it up." Velvet held her head low. Ready to burst into tears, still her magic was getting the better of her.
Twilight wanted to say she did, she wanted to believe she did, but it was the truth. "It's accurate, mom."
Velvet threw her forehooves up into the air in disbelief. By this point Orion stood up, seeing the shit fit his wife was having. Quickly the older mare shot daggers at her husband, somepony who she shared her life with for better or for worse. "You piece of shit." She said, the words were dripping with venom. Orion slowly walking up to her, hoping to ease the situation down.
"Come on honey. I know this is sudden but..." He tried to say.
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Velvet threw the glass at her husband's hooves. "HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME?!" Her teeth clenched as items around the kitchen started to shake, almost like there was a mini earthquake going on.
"CELESTIA JEEZ!" Orion dodged the glass thrown at him as well as some of the wedding China they received hanging from top shelf almost falling on him. He caught most of the plates with his magic while trying to keep his attention to his wife. "Honey it was a long time ago!"
"I DON'T CARE IF WAS A LONG TIME AGO OR JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO! WHY!?" Velvet demanded, forceful tears slid from her angry eyes and down her cheeks.
“Mom calm down before you make the house sink into the ground!” Twilight tries to regain her balance as the floor started to shake because of her mother’s rage.
"Because... You kept telling me I was worthless! Your parents said I was no good!" Orion gritted his teeth, "Just because I did not get the head teaching job and tenure!"
"OH BULL!" Velvet hollered. Windows shattered from her voice alone.
"NO IT'S TRUE!" Orion hollered back. "You said specifically once I got the promotion then we would not have to worry about money. I come home that very day, you holding Shining Armor. I told you that I did not get the promotion. AND YOU FREAKED!"
"I FREAKED BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE MY JOB TO RAISE MY SON!" Velvet screamed. "WE HAD LESS THAN WHAT WE WERE MAKING TOGETHER WHEN I LEFT! I WAS COUNTING ON YOU!" Soon the refrigerator turned over on its side from the force.
"I don't know what went wrong OKAY?" Orion shouted back. "I still don't know why!" He shook his head, "I don't know why! I had it in the bag!"
"Did the bag have a hole in it?" Velvet yelled. Cracks started to run down the walls.
"There you go again. Just like back then you undermined me again. That's one of the reasons I can't stand about you!" Orion countered. "You let your parents put words in your head and you just repeat them to me! You know what. I'm glad your dad has flatulence problems! Maybe your mom will follow!"
Velvet gasped. Ready to shout more. The cracks in the wall started to widen, but Twilight intervened. "STOP IT YOU TWO!"
Both parents held off of their triggers. For once to listen to what their daughter had to say, the mini quake stopped.
"The real problem is Shining Armor and Cadenza!" Twilight shouted. "Now yes dad you should not have cheated on mom, so hope you like living with the guilt! Mom you should not have forced dad in the arms of princess Venus with not being happy with his accomplishments because grandma and grandpa said so! You agreed to stay home, live with it!"
Her parents looked away from each other. Not wanting to see each other, disgusted with each other.
"Now what do we plan on doing?" Twilight asked.
Nothing...Just pure nothing out the two...
"Mom... Dad?" Twilight asked again.
"I don't know." Velvet fumed.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Twilight scoffed, "Your son married his half sister for Celestia sakes!"
"Even if we did do something how can we make it look like nothing major?" Orion asked, still not looking at his wife. "Seriously Twilight the news would be all over it."
Velvet scoffed, "Oh yes it would make us look like hicks. What's worse is that princess Celestia performed the marriage herself!" Her hoof tapped the floor, "You would think they would look into this! Or better yet, Princess Venus herself would have wanted to meet us. I don't think she showed up at the wedding either."
"Actually... yeah that does not make sense." Twilight pondered. "I never met her before. Only heard about her from princess Celestia and then dad."
"She lives in the Crystal Kingdom last time I heard." Orion crossed his arms and still kept looking away. "So there's a good chance she is still there while those two are ruling."
"And what do you propose we do? Go to another kingdom just to break up a marriage?" Velvet growled. "What are the ponies going to think when we drop a big bomb like that?"
"Shock. Denial. Outrage." Orion simply put it. "Then there will be ponies will want immediate action. Then there are the others like those pro-incest groups out there. Some ponies might take great offense and might want to tear those two apart for wasting Equestrian tax bits on a wedding only for them to go rule the Crystal kingdom." Orion finally turned around to face his daughter. "Regardless, not only will it look bad on us. It's going to make Princess Celestia look bad, hell the whole hierarchy will fault on this."
"Oh no." Twilight panicked. The thought of ponies ravaging the streets because of a stupid and awkward mistake that could have been avoided. Celestia being put in barracks and tomatoes thrown at ponies of the crystal kingdom storming the gates to overthrow Shining Armor and Cadance. Make them go into exile forcing them to take shelter inside of a cave or worse, a swamp. Then they would set up a little crappy wooden shack where they would raise mentally challenged alicorn children and the cycle would keep going, one name she was sure they would they would come up with is Dim Light because they were not too bright. She wondered even if a trailer park would take them. Even worse, what happens if it causes Shining Armor and Cadance to fight among themselves? A more embarrassing thought of their trailer ends up on the show CLOPS.
She imagined Shining Armor wearing a wife beater and smokes a lot while Cadance gains four hundred pounds and has hair curlers in her hair all the time. Their furniture is two lawn chairs, a hammock for a bed and their wedding carriage has no wheels and is parked on cement blocks. Matter of fact, their trailer has no wheels and held up by cement blocks too. Every time Shining and Cadance make rough love, it knocks the cement blocks out of place so Shining has to put them back the next morning and if he doesn't the trailer would be lopsided. Hell everything they own is on cement blocks, their TV, their collection of TV guides, their couch, baby's crib, the mini fridge, Cadance’s fat flank even had a cement block or two under her.
The two would be fighting in front of their eleven kids because Shining Armor spent all their food stamps on booze again. Cadance being so fat now, has to shop at Pony-Mart and ride an electric scooter getting in every pony's way blocking isles. Their children would always eat cans of generic Spegettios because that's all they could afford. Then the cans are thrown all over the floor beside the beer cans Shining left. The two start would start fighting then hitting each other. Then child services comes and takes the kids away. Then Twilight sits in her library with eleven alicorns running around and lighting fire to her books. Some of the kids steal the books and try to sell them for drugs because of Shining and Cadance's terrible parenting skills.
"NO! Mom! Dad! We got to do something!" Twilight hollered. "I don't want to be a legal guardian of eleven inbred alicorn children!"
"Well. There's only one thing to do." Orion said. "We're going to have to arrange a meeting with your brother and Cadance. Tell them the news and show them the proof, but we're going to have to keep it quiet in between the five of us." He said sternly. "And whatever happens between those two, remember, we will accept whatever they chose."
"Because I still love your brother, and will respect his choice." Velvet sighed. "I also want to keep this quiet as much as possible."
Twilight sighed... "Fine... Whatever they choose, I won't meddle anymore."
"Alright..." Orion nodded.
"Okay... but you're sleeping on the couch." Velvet grunted.
Orion just sighs, he knew he could not win as he walked into the next room to cool himself off. Twilight just sat on the couch, her mother still fuming at the huge lie her life has been as her daughter tries to comfort her. A low growl escaped her snout sounding like it came from a huge monster like Godzilla. Twilight was being haunted by the thought of Shining Armor crying while the cold water runs in the shower. Even worse, with this news, she wonders how much it could ruin her brother. Let alone the whole country? Hell she practically put a huge dent in her parent's marriage. Something she should have thought out better, but now, she's on a mission...
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
The five friends promised to keep the secret of Twilight Sparkle's discovery locked within their minds. As soon as the purple unicorn left, the friends went off to dine in, to discuss among themselves the strange event. It boggled their minds for awhile as they sat down at their table and were waiting to be served. They saw their friend Twilight panic before, but never to this breaking point where she forcefully threw herself into eyebrow raising rituals. Crying while performing the test over and over again. Locking herself in the bathroom and cry. Cry even taking a cold shower. Some of them felt guilty as they felt that they should have helped her better, but took it upon herself to get the truth out of her father.
"Man that is messed up huh?" Rainbow Dash spoke while reading over her menu.
"Come on Dash, we're here to eat and put this behind us." Applejack almost let her menu slip out of her hoofs as she wanted to scold her friend.
"I know it's just, weird." Dash frowned, Placing her menu down in front of herself. She waved her hoof in circles to make a point, "I mean for example, what if one day we found out that Apple Bloom was really your daughter? How would she live with herself?"
Applejack kept her face straight but her eyes wandered. "Pretty bad analogy Dash, but I get what you're saying."
"I wonder if we should have let her go alone?" Fluttershy asked.
"She was pretty quiet all day before she left on the train." Pinkie smiled, then looked at her menu. "I feel like having a piece of this chocolate cake with gold shavings."
"Pinkie dear we didn't even order our appetizers yet." Rarity frowned, then looked at the picture Pinkie was drooling over. "My that does look exquisite."
The waiter eventually come over to take their orders. After that was done, the waiter left and said he would be back with their beverages. But Applejack had something else to say to the girls.
"Girls, you do know we can't talk about this, right?" Applejack brought up.
"Oh yeah sure." Dash nodded.
"Indeed." Rarity smiled and brushed her curls letting them bounce.
"My lips are sealed." Pinkie actually zipped her lips somehow with an actual zipper.
"That means not even among ourselves out in public." Applejack frowned.
"Can we talk about it now?" Pinkie blinked.
Applejack facehoofed, "No."
"Agreed. We will wait until Twilight is comfortable talking to us about what happened." Rarity smiled.
Just then her drink was placed down in front of her as the waiter started passing them around. "Oh delightful." She took a small sip through her straw, "So anyway, shall we talk about something else?"
"How about we talk about the rumor of Derpy only pretending to be stupid just to get a disability check?" Dash brought up.
"No it's pretty legit Rainbow." Applejack dismissed the claim, "I mean look there she is in front of the television display across the street at Best Buck." The country pony pointed to the grey pegasus doing what she does best. Staring blankly at the new models in the window, of a cat playing with a ball of yarn, with Dr. Whooves and Dinky trying to pull her away.
"Kitty!" Derpy laughed. What she did not know was that it was an anti-poacher documentary and the kitty was really a tiger cub next to its mother. Suddenly poachers came out of nowhere and shot the mother tiger in the face and took the baby cub away. Derpy was screaming, "I'LL SAVE YOU KITTY!" She quickly looked all around to try and find something to use. With luck, she found the metal trash bin. She pulled it from the ground and destroyed the glass display. She ripped the TV from the stand and started shaking it. Quickly security surrounded Derpy, not happy with what she did. All she did, was smile like an innocent filly and drop the TV, breaking it as well.
"Well now that we de-bunked that rumor." Rarity went back to business. "We will talk about this only if we're behind closed doors, we don’t want our sisters finding out and telling their friends."
"Boy howdy." Applejack rolled her eyes as everypony else laughed.
Soon enough they were off on their own errands, and were finding it a bit hard to keep themselves from telling the rest of their friends.
Fluttershy was happily tending to her animal friends and minding her own business. Feeding them and singing a little song. Watering her garden and picking the newly fresh vegetables that came in. Until she came across Angel who wanted food, picky little jerk. Fluttershy as usual, was more slave to this animal than ever. Angel continued being picky until Fluttershy got frustrated. "Oh! I haven't been this frustrated since I promised I wouldn't tel Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza were brother and sister!" Fluttershy grunted trying to clean up one of Angel's messes. Angel just froze with an eyebrow raised.
Fluttershy gasped, "Oh no. I blabbed!"
Angel blinked.
Fluttershy walked back to Angel, "Now Angel. Can you please keep this a secret?"
Angel frowned, still was hungry.
"Okay! Okay." Fluttershy hurried back into the kitchen, "I'll get what you want just please don't tell anypony!"
Angel felt like he was in the mood to blackmail his owner. Knowing Fluttershy, she obeyed. But Angel told all the other animals anyway. A lot of shock rattled the rest of the animals outside the cottage. Then again, Fluttershy only told him to not tell anypony, never said anything about the other animals.
Meanwhile Rarity was getting her usual spa treatment from the twin owners. While filing her hoofs, the twins started to talk about some juicy gossip they just heard about the school teacher. Saying how Big Macintosh just proposed to her the other night and she gladly accepted. Lotus just babbling away while she filed Rarity's front hoofs, Aloe filing the lower ones. Soon the topic changed to Fancy Pants dumping Fleur and leaving her devastated. They talked and talked, Rarity knew where this was going. But she loved hearing the gossip, she had one to share that would blow the lid off everything. But she promised she would not tell. More and more the sisters discussed and spilled, Rarity was getting anxious.
But she could not hold it in. "The royal couple are really siblings!" Rarity immediately covered her mouth. Aloe and Lotus just looked at her.
"Excuse us?" Aloe asked.
"Uh sorry." Rarity tried to smile, "Nothing."
"I could have sworn you said that maybe captain Armor and Mi Amore are siblings?" Lotus went back to filing Rarity's hoofs. "Yes?"
"Oh I uh... Um. Nevermind." Rarity frowned and rolled her eyes trying to mind her own business.
"Oh." Aloe blinked, "Whatever it was sounded interesting."
"Too bad too." Lotus brought up, "Our spots on the VIP are getting full and need one more pony to fill the spot."
"VIP?" Rarity squealed. "You never done VIP before!"
"Yeah." Lotus smiled, "Only our best customers get in. Can set up their schedule any time they want, can walk in and out for convince, get to be first to try our new fur and mane care products."
"How much?" Rarity nearly went crazy. Demanding their price.
"Well its for the elite surely and it costs a pretty bit. Around ten thousand bits a month." Aloe explained.
"Ten thousand a month?" Rarity almost fainted. "What is your hair care products made out of? Gold?"
Aloe and Lotus put on their poker faces.
Rarity sighed, "Guess I am good with just being a regular pony." Then she got an idea, "Would you perhaps take any other form of payment?"
"We stopped doing special favors a long time ago." Aloe chuckled. Soon her sister joined. Rarity let that one slide.
"What if..." Rarity let her eyes wandered, "I tell you the juiciest piece of gossip I know?"
"Um. How juicy?" Lotus asked.
"Yes how juicy?" Aloe asked as well.
"So juicy it might bring the politics in Canterlot and the Crystal Kingdom to a screeching halt." Rarity tried to bait the twins. And it worked, the two were anxious. "Well. You know the royal wedding of Shining Armor and Cadance? Turns out, after my friend Twilight Sparkle doing a DNA test spell. She found out that Cadance was her half sister."
The twins gasped.
"And not only that. Her own father is also Cadance's father." Rarity shared. "Princess Celestia must have not known about the relations and she performed the marriage herself between them." She stopped, "But you two can't share this with any other pony. Please!"
The twins blinked, then looked at each other. The next shot shows Rarity bouncing out happily with a gold VIP card good for a lifetime. She stopped and realized; She just sold out her friend's personal family secret for a lifetime VIP pass to the spa. Rarity sighed. Then brightened up, "Oh well. Says I can bring guests too so, it evens out." But in return, the spa twins would actually share this gossip with their clients.
Meanwhile back up in Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash had an opportunity to fly with Spitfire; one of the Wonder Bolts as well as a return of an old friend; Gilda. They were casually flying along the skies. Not saying much.
"So uh..." Rainbow Dash tried to make conversation but just came out and said it, "Cadance and Shining Armor are really brother and sister."
"What?" Spitfire turned her head.
"That sounds made up." Gilda chuckled.
"No I'm serious its true." Rainbow kept flying.
Gilda started laughing, "Oh man... Canterlot must really be messed up if they allowed a brother and sister to get married."
"Seriously?" Spitfire asked.
"Yeah. But you can't tell any other pony okay?" Dash demanded.
Gilda spoke up, "Sure Dash. What are friends for?" Little did the others know, Gilda had her fingers crossed. Gilda went and told her Griffon friends while Spitfire told the rest of the Wonder Bolts.
Pinkie Pie as you already know just told Mr. and Mrs Cake who just dismissed the idea. Then she told any pony she passed on the street. Many of the ponies dismissed what she said because well, She's Pinkie, but still they spread the rumor around.
Applejack kept mostly quiet about it, but then told her brother Big Macintosh, she was sure he would not tell but failed to notice Apple Bloom hiding behind a haystack listening in. He kept mostly quiet about it, but then cousin Braeburn came to visit that same day. Mac told Braeburn. Braeburn just laughed it off and called up his family in Appleloosa to say he arrived alright. Then he told his family the rumor. Then they told every pony in Appleloosa, even the buffalo tribe.
Apple Bloom raced off to tell her friends. Then they told two friends. And those two friends told two friends. So pretty from Appleloosa to some parts of Canterlot already knew about the rumor. Just when Apple Bloom was about to tell her friend Peppermint Twist the rumor, Applejack was behind her. Tugged on her tail and dragged her to a good spot to scold her.
"Apple Bloom!" Applejack scolded, "Where did you hear that?"
"From you." Apple Bloom defended herself. "I was behind a haystack while you were talking to Big Mac!"
"Oh horse apples." Apple Jack frowned. "How many pony's know from just you alone?"
Apple Bloom counted the young ponies she told, "About six."
Just then Rarity was tugging Sweetie Belle by her tail giving her the same scolding. Sweetie Belle admitted she heard it from Apple Bloom. Speak of the devil. Rarity came marching up to Applejack. "I thought we said we were going to keep this a secret?"
"Hey... Don't look at me. I just told Big Mac and he keeps his mouth shut all the time." Applejack defended herself.
"Um." Fluttershy was behind them, "I just came from the spa and the twins just told me about the rumor."
Applejack then beamed at Rarity.
"What?" Rarity asked.
The five friends met up again at the tree house. Fighting among each other, failing to keep their friend's personal trouble out of the publics knowledge. Well Pinkie was too busy fighting the ceiling fan but hey its Pinkie Pie. Spike just sitting in the middle of all of this. He could not take it anymore.
"QUIET!" Spike shouted. The girls stopped fighting. "Clearly you five are the worst friends Twilight ever had. Thanks to you everypony from one end of Equestria to the other probably knows by now!" The girls felt guilty. Knowing he was right.
"You're right." Applejack admitted.
"Oh I feel awful." Rarity frowned.
"I'm a terrible friend." Fluttershy lowered her head in shame.
"What?" Rainbow Dash asked and shifted her shoulders.
"Now hold on everypony. Clearly a lot of ponies don't believe this so maybe it won't make threw news. Or catch that much attention."
"You're right. Maybe it won't catch on." Dash frowned, "Next time some pony ask we will say its a bunch of horse crap because we were at the wedding."
Some of the girls were feeling guilty as each their stories were pretty much cemented into most of the ponies in Ponyville as legit with their stories.
"Should we write a letter to the princess?" Dash asked. "You know just in case?"
"We told Twilight we would not interfere." Rarity frowned. The girls just sighed, they were terrible friends. They agreed to not talk about it anymore and let nature take its course. They had one last conversation among themselves.
"What happens if Shining and Cadance stay together even if they are brother and sister?" Dash asked.
"That's up to them. Whatever they chose will be fine with us." Applejack proclaimed.
"Ew." Dash grunted.
"Yes if they want the Sparkle family to look like sick ponies." Rarity scoffed.
"Whatever." Applejack rolled her eyes.
"Remember that rumor going around saying Twilight and her brother are really close?" Pinkie Pie brought up.
"No." The others said.
"Yah. Shining Armor should divorce Cadance and marry Twilight!" Pinkie clapped her hooves together.
The others just blinked.
"Did not quite think that one through did you Pinkie?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Pinkie. That just makes it even worse!" Dash yelled. Then she couldn't get the visual image out of her head.
(fantasy)
Shining Armor was sitting on a leather couch. His arms out supporting his wife; Cadance in one foreleg. His sister; Twilight in the other. They were rubbing their hoofs up and down his chest tenderly. Cooing and moaning while Seventies psychedelic music playing in the background.
"Oh Shining Armor. You're the sexist brother on the planet." Cadance rubbed her hoof on Shining's chin.
"Yes. A fine big brother best friend forever... But let's test that." Twilight gently pulled Shining's face towards hers. "Shall we?"
"I love spending time with my sister." Shining smirked. "Oops. I mean sisters." Cadance and Twilight laughed and were amused.
Just then the front door opened then closed. Twilight Velvet walked into the room looking at her so. Feeling up his sister and maybe half-sister.
"Ugh... Do you not have any control?" Velvet asked her son.
"Chill mom. What's eating you?" Shining grinned.
"You know I hate it..." She then put on a seductive smile. "When you start without me. I want to be part of your sexy circle."
"Sure babe. Always room for one more." Shining encouraged his mother. Quickly she felt frisky and slithered her way into her son's lap. Throwing her arms around his neck.
"Ugh. Your father is so boring. All he wants to do is talk..." Velvet frowned. She looked up at her son, "I need a real stallion." Slowly she inched her face towards his, closer and closer waiting for their lips to meet.
(end fantasy)
"AH!" Rainbow screeched out loud. Her friends stared at her in shock. Quickly she tried to calm down. She went into the kitchen and started going through the cupboards. "SPIKE!"
"Yeah?" Spike asked.
"Where does Twilight keep the hard stuff? I need to drown a bad thought before it burns an image in my brain!" Rainbow hollered.
"Top cupboard above the fridge!" Spike pointed out.
"Maybe writing a letter to the princess would not be a bad idea after all." Rarity pondered.
"Like I said let Twilight figure this out." Applejack frowned.
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
The morning sun rose finally to greet the day, Luna was ready to finally attend to her rest after guarding the night and its blessings. Celestia made her way to the banquet hall to have her routine breakfast while Luna wanted one last thing to snack on before she parts. The elder sister sat in her seat at the head of the table, while Luna sat next to her; never was up for formality, that and there was no need to sit way on the other side. Just to enjoy each others company before they part ways. However Celestia noticed her sister seemed troubled, almost confused, as she stirred her oatmeal around and around with her spoon.
"Does something trouble you my sister?" Celestia asked.
"No sister, just deep in thought." said Luna as she continued to stir her oatmeal.
"You've been stirring that oatmeal for five minutes now." The elder sister pointed out.
The younger sister finally stopped. Lifted her head to face her older sister and stared confused, "Sister, what does the charter say about the limitations on marriage? Has it changed since I was gone?"
"Only a few things changed. Like appropriate ages between the bride and groom to marry. Had to drastically change the terms of marriage between two ponies instead of inanimate objects." Celestia tried to recall, "I don't really remember the charter to well. But why do you ask sister?"
Luna frowned, "What does it say on incest?"
Celestia was dumbfounded, "Why would you ask that?"
"Let's just say... There's a little rumor flying around about two ponies that share the same father that got married about... oh about a few months ago." Luna answered, then went back to her oatmeal.
"Well, incest is a touchy subject but certainly no marriage is permitted by law. Illegal if you might want to know." Celestia looked down at her slice grapefruit, ready to bring her spoon to dig in.
"Alright then my sister." Luna went back to eating her oatmeal, slowly.
"Might I ask? Why you are curious about this subject?" Celestia stopped herself from her grapefruit breakfast. "You mentioned a rumor as well?"
Luna remained quiet.
"Luna..." Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Is it a rumor that has any bases to it? Or is it nothing but hogwash?"
Luna did not answer.
"Luna." Celestia said sternly. "Is it something I should know?
"I don't know sister. I remain questioning it myself as it seems like an immature rumor." Luna replied.
Just then, a rolled up parchment poofed in front of her face. "Never mind Luna. Twilight must have another friendship report for me."
"This early?" Luna asked.
"Maybe she couldn't send it last night." Celestia said aloud, assuring herself.
-Dear Princess Celestia,
This has something to do with Twilight Sparkle learning a paternity spell. She demonstrated how it worked in front of us. It all went well when she tested on us but things ended in a shocking turn once Twilight performed the test on herself and her family. We're sorry we are the ones that have to tell you this or maybe you already know, but Twilight ran the test on Princess Cadenza as a joke and it turned out they are half sisters. We thought it was a joke at first but Twilight tried the test over and over again. With the surprise, Twilight locked herself up in her room and cried the night away. Then we encouraged her to talk with her parents about this matter to get it straightened out, we wished her luck as she departed.
We only ask of you to help and try to calm the situation down. It took time for us to accept the idea but still it troubles us as well. We are pretty sure that incest marriage is illegal but then you would have not performed the marriage yourself if you had known. Please princess, we ask of you to help resolve the issue as maybe you can clear the air and settle Twilight down.
Sincerely,
Spike and friends.
PS. Twilight's friends blabbed this around town.
PSS. Rainbow Dash drank your champagne you gave to Twilight and now she's drunker than a skunk and made a fort out of the books in the library.
Celestia's mouth hung agape. She read over and over again the exact details of what Spike wrote. "The paternity spell?" She asked herself. Truly a spell not for unicorns who are not ready to master expert level spells. "And she's upset about it none the less." The older sister wondered exactly how Twilight got a hold of a manuscript to even learn a complicated spell like that. Tapping her chin to think for a moment, she was going to pay Scroll Keeper a visit after breakfast. After finishing her grapefruit, she asked Luna one last time about the rumor. And yet again Luna just replied that it seemed hogwash but yet still unsure.
The sun princess made her way to the Starswirl the bearded section of the library. Surely she would find some answers. She stopped in front of a large wooden desk with an old stallion; light brown with very little gray hair left.
"Scroll Keeper." Celestia approached the elder stallion.
The old stallion looked up and shook a little due to his age, "Oh hello your majesty." He tried to bow but the years were not too kind for him. "What can I do for you?"
"And a good morning to you too Scroll Keeper." Celestia smiled. "Actually there is something I need to ask of you." The old pony shook more while trying to put on his glasses, "I was wondering if you have given a special magic scroll to my student; Twilight Sparkle."
"Oh... Twinkle Stop Light?" He started to clean his glasses with a handkerchief, "Don't believe I seen her around."
Celestia blinked. "No I was talking about Twilight Sparkle."
"Twittle Spank?" He asked.
"She's purple. Unicorn. Has a pink star for a cutie mark." Celestia described.
"Oh... My eyes and memory are not quite these used to be princess Luna." Scroll Keeper finished cleaning his glasses.
Celestia blinked again. "Well maybe you can help me with something else. Do you know the paternity spell?"
"Oh that old thing?" Scroll Keeper asked. "Matter of fact I was just clearing out a few shelves in the back that had that exact spell scroll on it. I think one of Celestia's students wanted to try and learn it. I told her it might have great consequences if not properly done." Scroll Keeper then remembered, "I told her that she needed clearance from the princess before taking spells out but somehow I think she got the princess's permission to get it. Think it was you princess Luna."
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "Oh thou is happy. Thank you Scroll Keeper. I will be off." Then thought, ‘Think we're going to retire Scroll Keeper after all. Blind as a bat now a days.’
Just then, "Think I'll write my student a letter before things get too out of hand. Then after that, my sister and I are going to have a long talk."
At the Sparkle household hours later...
"Is your mother still mad at me?" Orion asked his daughter.
"Well last night she was growling in her sleep." Twilight commented.
"Good thing she went out this morning." Orion frowned. "She just needs to clear her head and she does take fancy to walking around the park."
"So... how was the couch?" Twilight asked.
Orion frowned. "I'll be honest. I thought this was the couch that rolled out into a bed but it turned out that was the other sofa we got rid of. So don't tell your mother that I ripped the sewing out of place." He patted the couch cushion he was sitting on, "Hope she won't notice."
Twilight looked at her father, concerned, "Dad?"
"Yeah Twinkle?" Her father mumbled.
"Did mom really drive you to cheat on her?" Twilight wanted to know, she had too much respect for her.
Orion sighed, easing himself to slide down further into the couch. "It was a pretty difficult time for us because we were just starting out. Your mother and I decided that one of us was going to stay home and take care of Shining Armor while the other worked." Her father recalled, "Your mom loved her job as she was going to have a promotion at her parent's company. Then things went sour when her brother got the job instead of her, she fell into depression and wanted me to get my promotion so we did not have to worry. But more and more her family was telling her that she was stuck with a dead beat, that she even believed it herself. And... well you know the rest."
"Mom was really counting on your success huh?" Twilight asked, feeling pretty awful for asking.
"I just don't know what went wrong at that point." Orion frowned. "And out of all the ponies for my own son to pick. He picks the one pony that is the daughter of the mare I had an affair with."
"I..." Twilight wanted to say, "I'm sure that we can get this under control if we talk to Shining Armor and Cadance."
"See that's the thing Twilight." Her father looked at her, "Makes you wonder if we even should tell them because you seen how happy they look together?"
Twilight frowned, "Dad... I feel like I want to throw up everytime I see them kissing because of this whole fiasco."
"I admit... It makes me nervous too." Orion took a deep breath. "So, I take it that we are either going to have to go to the crystal kingdom or have them come here. Either way its going to destroy them, more than likely get a divorce, send them down a spiraling depression. Hopefully it won't make them do something drastic."
There was a knock at the door. Twilight got up and answered it to find one of the royal guard ponies was standing there. Only giving her a letter he turned and walked away. Twilight wasted no time opening it.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
It has come to my attention that there is a family crisis you are experiencing. I would like you and your parents to meet me at the time listed below. Also it has come to my attention that my dear sister Luna has given you access to one of the high ranking medical spells from the Starswirl library and you took time to learn it. As much as I would feel proud, I am very disappointed for not clearing this with me earlier. Whether this has to do with your family crisis or not, please know that I will do anything in my power to help you and your family in your time of need. I would also like to give you a note that your own brother and his wife will be visiting the castle during the scheduled time to help make things easier. I heard they have grand news to tell us all. But also something they want to address.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Twilight scrunched her face. Bewildered by the state of the letter sent by the princess. "There is no way she knows about this." She looked at her father and explained what the princess was requesting. He put on a determined look, nodded and agreed to take part to help set things right. Hopefully this will not be made into a spectacle. But the last part of the letter had her worried. She could feel it was not going to be pleasant, even if others are happy for the occasion. After lunch, Twilight decided to watch one of her father's monster movie collection, she popped in the FLY. Watched for a bit, then fell asleep.
*Dream*
It would seem like it was a long time but a new life was ready to be born. Only thing was, with the news of the supposed sibling rumor it was forced to be looked as a debunk baseless rumor. Still ponies talked about it and Celestia stood by her decision that the marriage she performed was not of sin. However, news of Cadance's pregnancy was still known, but not for public's eyes to see.
A very heavily pregnant Cadance was lifted off the flying chariot and rushed into the castle's medical ward. She had many doctors surrounding her, plus Shining Armor and Twilight were at her side as she was being pushed on the gurney. She had a very large pink stomach, almost too big. It rumbled and moved, Cadance held her stomach and cried in pain. When they arrived at the operating room Shining and Twilight were told to leave and watch from the observation room. Shining tried to fight it but was pushed back. Soon they were seated in a room above Cadance, looking down at her while she was giving birth. She had the best care, or what looked like it. Her stomach rumbled again as she screamed. Nurses put an oxygen mask over her face and kept her heart rate monitored. Soon both princesses joined the siblings as they watched.
"Something's wrong! I can feel it!" Cadance screamed. "AH!"
"What are you doing? SOME PONY HELP HER!" Shining shouted.
"We are giving her the best we can Shining Armor." Celestia frowned.
"Then why all this then? Why can't she go to a regular hospital?" Twilight protested.
"Because..." Celestia grinned.
"UGH!" Cadance groaned as she held her huge round belly.
"Okay give one more push... And..." The doctor tried to deliver their baby.
"UGH!" Cadance groaned again.
The doctor was not holding a foal but more of a weird cocoon shaped pod. The nurses gasped while the doctor wanted to drop the creature.
Cadance screamed at the sight of her newborn, "AH!" Then her heart failed. The nurses tried to revive her by shocking her with paddles but it did no good.
"Oh dear Celestia..." Twilight's eyes widened. She wanted to throw up.
Shining Armor just put his hoofs to the window. Shocked to know his newborn was a weird creature and his wife gone before his very eyes. He started pounding on the windows again and again, screaming for his love. The doctor placed the cocoon on one of the nearby tables to look over it, to find something inside waiting. It cracked open... to reveal a clutch of baby changelings. They cried letting out their hungry wails.
"Ah... Just as expected. Changelings are the result of incest." Celestia frowned.
"NO! THAT'S MY CHILD!" Shining punched the glass over and over again.
"Its ours now." Luna laughed. "Well breed a new army. But since Cadance is your half sister, we want to see its full potential with your real sister."
"YOU SICK MONSTERS! THAT WAS YOUR NIECE!" Twilight then was embraced in her own teachers grabbing aura. Then was pinned down on a metal table, Luna performed a mind spell on Shining and ordered him to have his way with Twilight. "NO! DON'T DO THIS!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Twilight screamed as her zombie brother inserted himself into her.
*end of dream*
Twilight suddenly woke up. Heaving and covered in sweat. Then raced to the kitchen and threw up in the sink.
"There is no way... No way how any of this is possible." Twilight kept saying that to herself over and over again. "Celestia would not allow this... Please... Please let this all be some weird dream."
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edit by Knotwist
It was a long trip but finally Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza made it to Canterlot. Running the Crystal empire was no easy task, but for these two, they loved Canterlot so much they wanted to share their news with every pony of Equestria. Just like how their wedding was televised all over, could not escape the hype. The two had a very strict schedule once they arrive at the castle. The love they wanted to share with every pony.
Meanwhile back at the Sparkle household. The rest of the family are pacing around like crazy, wondering if they should even bother. They were handed the schedule by one of the royal guards the other day. Strictly at one pm, Cadence and Shining Armor were going to make an announcement to all of Equestria on television. The Sparkle family had just enough time to speak with the wedded couple before they made the announcement. Twilight looked at the clock, it was eleven thirty right now. She looked at her parents, they made their decision and decided they were going to be up front about it. Twilight took her findings and her proof to show to them, she really loved the both of them dearly, but it was for the good of the Sparkle family and their reputation.
The friends were not feeling too good about the news they received. How they betrayed their friend and went behind their back. Could not hold the rumor inside and passed it off like gossip. Worse is, that they told their other friends and then those friends told their friends. The next day it was everywhere, even when you pass a rumor along it tends to get changed up as it gets passed along. Started off as Shining Armor and Cadence being half siblings then somehow got back to the group as Shining Armor and Cadence somehow being Siamese twins at birth and want to marry each other just so they could be together. Spike looked at the rest of the friends, pretty ticked that they would go off and tell something like this when they know it was making Twilight go crazy. They met up at the library again just to get ready and watch the news, waiting for the announcement.
"This is stupid. We should be there in Canterlot with Twilight giving her support." Applejack slammed her hoofs on the hardwood floor.
"Nothing we really can do darling. We told every pony about Twilight's family dilemma and surely the press are going to ask about it." Rarity sighed, "And I sold out my friend's problem for a lifetime VIP pass."
"You what?!" Applejack shouted.
"Now now." Rarity tried to ease her way out, "I'm allowed to bring guests." Applejack frowned and then Rarity defended herself, "Oh don't give me that look. You are just as bad telling Big Mac then he told your cousin. And then your cousin told every pony in Appleloosa!"
"Well we can't do anything now." Applejack said, "Sure hope the princess and Shining Armor don't announce what I think they're going to say."
Back at the castle, the main hall was being filled with reporters and spectators. Shining Armor and his wife had plans to have lunch with the princess but something urgent came up. The lunch and conference with the press meeting time got switch around at the last minute. Celestia already filled some of the reporters in as Cadence told her through a letter. A joyous occasion, but to the reporters they were too busy concentrating on another story. One especially that was brought up suddenly. So Celestia told them to take questions first instead of announcing anything yet. Little did the pair know, they did not know of the rumor floating around. And that's what is on the reporters minds. They were disgusted but none the less wanted the story.
Shining Armor and Cadence walked up to the podium. Tapped on the microphone to test it and spoke, "Hello everypony. Cadence and I are thankful for you all to come as we want to share with the world our special news but to my understanding, it got out before we could say anything and really spread through out Equestria quickly. I take it you all have questions. So we'll spend a good amount of time answering your questions. So feel free to ask."
A pony raised his arm. Shining pointed to him, "You there."
The pony stood up, "News Flash with channel six. When did you two find out about this?"
Shining put his arm around Cadence, she answered instead, "Oh about a couple weeks ago."
Another pony stood up, "Jim Phillips, The Dave Weatherton post. This did not have an affect on your marriage at all?"
Shining rubbed his cheek against Cadence's, "If it did anything it made it stronger than before and we're happy about it."
Some of the reporters scowled by the response. Another pony raised his hoof and stood up, "Dave Weatherton, Jim Phillips News. So you two do not mind the public thinking poorly of this? Since its considered morally wrong?"
Shining and Cadence frowned and looked at each other. Cadence answered, "No... I don't understand how our joy is wrong."
Another pony stood up, "Have you told your family yet?"
"Well. We were supposed to tell them in private but there was a mix up at the times." Shining answered normally, still a bit irked by the last question. "Hoping so my mom, dad and sister hear it first."
Another pony raised his hoof but this time was in a wheel chair, "Larry Flint here. Question for the princess. Wanna pose in my hustler magazines?"
"No." Cadence frowned, "Next question."
"You there." Shining pointed to another pony.
"Oh sorry. Just stretching." The pony apologized.
“Okay you then.” Shining Armor pointed to a pony that raised his forearm.
“Yeah I’m with Guns and Ammo.”
“Next question.” Cadance grabbed the microphone not letting the gun pony ask his question.
"News Flash again. Usually these acts are frowned upon. How can royalty allow this?"
Cadence raised an eyebrow, "I don't think it should make a difference really."
"Yeah I'm the pony who made the Hot or Not site. How would you rate your mother and your sister?"
"I'm not very familiar with that site actually..." Shining rolled his eyes to think for a moment, "Well if ten is positive then yeah I give them both a ten."
The crowd wanted to gag, some talked among themselves in disgust. Shining and Cadence blinked.
"How long have you known each other? Did you know of this... particular joy back then?"
"Cadence and I met when we were smaller. Back then it was not much but it grew into what we are today. Sometimes we kissed to practice back then, but now it feels legit." Shining smiled.
The crowd was silent.
"What do you say to these claims of your... Closeness to your wife and family?"
"Well it feels like she's part of the family." Shining answered, "My family welcomed her in open arms. My sister Twilight thinks of my wife as of like an older sister, my parents think of her as another daughter."
Some ponies let out a chuckle.
"So you two are not sickened by each other after learning this?"
"Why would we be?" Cadence asked. "It just made me love Shining Armor even more."
“You put that down payment for a trailer yet?” Another random pony shouted.
"You two should not even be allowed to breed with each other!" A random pony yelled.
"And you two are not disgusted yourselves? Not scared of what any pony thinks?"
"Think that was asked earlier." Shining pointed out. He noticed the crowd was really disgusted with their joy, "If I did not know any better I think all of you are here just to spite us." Cadence was crying from all the harsh questions asked as Shining tried his best to comfort her. "Well ponies of Equestria, Cadence and I are..."
---
Outside the main hall, Twilight and her parents were running through the halls. Would have made things easier if she were to teleport herself into the conference room but her magic for some reason was dwindling ever since she performed the paternity spell. For some reason, they were not told that the lunch and conference times were switched. They ran and ran. Until they came up to the door and pushed the doors open, and shouted, "WAIT!"
The main hall was filled various reporters who looked back at her, snapping pictures of her sudden intrusion.
"Hey Twily!" Shining called.
"Shining you can not make that announcement!" Twilight shouted. "Because I have something that you two need to know!"
"I don't think it matters anymore Twilight." Shining shouted back, "These ponies here are treating me and Cadence like we're sick ponies!"
"JUST CALL OFF THE REST OF THE CONFERENCE! RIGHT NOW!" Twilight was angry.
"Would some pony please tell me what's going on?!" Shining stepped away from the podium.
"We just wanted to share our happiness with you all in telling everypony I’m pregnant!" Cadence cried.
Twilight and her parents froze. The rest of the room was silent as well. Some even started throwing up.
"Oh come on, what's wrong with all of you?" Shining shouted.
Twilight ran up to Shining Armor whispered into his ear. "What's that Twilight? You learned a new spell?" She whispered again, "And it acts like a paternity test?" She whispered some more, "You tested it on your friends and family?"
"STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY!" Twilight shouted in his ear.
"OW!" Shining rubbed his ear. "Twilight I think you're acting too rash. Just tell me what is so important."
"CELESTIA DAMN IT! DAD IS CADENCE'S FATHER! MAKING HER OUR HALF SIBLING!" Her voice echoed into the microphone.
Shining Armor and Cadence froze. Not saying anything. Not even batting an eye.
The perverted handicapped pony moved his wheel chair up to Velvet, "Hey baby you have a nice wiggle. Want to be in a movie? A little girl on girl action with your daughter up there?"
"Ugh... No." Velvet was disgusted.
"Pfft... Good luck with that. I was barking up that tree for twenty eight years." Orion frowned.
Celestia walked up behind Twilight, "I think we need to discuss something young lady. Among with your family and even my own."
"But... but how does everypony know about this?" Twilight asked. Worried about her brother's state of mind.
Celestia sighed, "I received a letter from Spike and your friends... But most importantly I learned something interesting about your visit with Scroll Keeper earlier. Oh also your friends blabbed to every pony in Ponyville and it spread like wildfire..."
Twilight scrunched her face. Her top teeth biting down into her lower lip as she was ready to shout, "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU... "
Back at the library. The friends were watching the conference on the television as it had to cut to a commercial break as Twilight burst into the conference room.
"Wow." Pinkie stuck her head out the window, "That is the loudest swear word I have ever heard."
