"Why do I have to do this again, Hitch?" Sprout sat at his desk slightly annoyed at the grandiose tale that Hitch had outlined for him. He had somehow missed the most exciting thing that happened to Maretime Bay since Izzy fucking Moonbow came and ripped the bandage off the idyllic little town.

Hitch straightened his sheriff badge and patted his new baby dragon on the head before turning to Sprout. "-because you have similar interests and the last time I tried to deal with Posey's rehabilitation process, she just stared daggers into my soul."

Sprout waved a hoof. "Just because my mom made me do a tour around Bridlewood and Zephyr Heights to help rehabilitate Canterlogic's 'evil reputation' doesn't mean I would get Posey. I mean she grows flowers and I. . .do stuff that isn't that."

Hitch rolled his eyes. "Well, when I tried Sunny's method of friendship heals all wounds, Posey tried to make one of those little flowers try to eat me. So having a reformed dictator, no matter how incompetent, talk to her might get her attention." Hitch waited for Sprout to take the bait- he had years knowing what words to use to get his assistant sheriff to do work and making light of accomplishments worked wonders. Made him feel awful, truly, but Posey freaked him out.

Sprout fidgeted, his eye twitching ever so slightly as he tried to stay calm, and carefully set his pizza slice down on a nearby plate. "Fine, but you are going to totally owe me like a pizza a week for this. I mean the last time I truly talked to Posey was when I was a foal, and she hated my guts ever since. "

Hitch waved a hoof. "That was years ago. Plus, she asked for you personally. She was really persistent on that- she kind of broke the interrogation desk we had."

Sprout cocked his head. "We have an interrogation room?"

"Had one. Have to order new stuff for it from Bridlewood because it really wasn't made for angry earth ponies with magic in mind. Magical hoofcuffs are on the top of the list after she tried to show me a really neat trick of breaking the old cuffs in sheer anger and breaking the table in half. And then she kept stomping on the pieces. Honestly think she broke the concrete too. Hard to tell since I kind of booked it once she started asking for the manager." Hitch sighed. "I am the manager in that situation."

Sprout felt a fear come over him when he heard that. A fear mixed with a sense that it sounded really hot in theory. He always liked tough mares and that sounded right up his alley.

***

Posey carefully trimmed her roses with a few necessary snips, the rose bush had grown a bit too large for her small plot of land and there was no other option but to start trimming her bush. it was just too hard to get closer to the other flowers and while it was a good deterrent to those who saw her flower shop as a mere flight of fancy or those too dumb enough to not see the signs plastered around her lawn- no trespassing, do not step on the flowers, keep away. All very good legible signs that she didn't normally want visitors to her own private patch of Equestria.

Sunny Starscout had ruined all that. The earth pony had opened the gates to all matter of unreasonable ponies. Posey could deal with earth ponies fine, they all had similar likes and wants but when the unicorns and pegasi invaded, that was the first and last straw. Pegasi flew through the air like they owned it and unicorns showed off their magic like they were better than everypony else.

Posey carefully snipped the rose thorns and plucked out the offending stems. "And all I got for speaking my mind was community service."

True, she had said some rather horrible things and almost started a race war again but who was counting. Well, the unknowing, uncaring vast black nothingness of the abyss that started swallowing the town in its vast empty jaws was a factor that had pushed Hitch and the others to call for some kind of punishment. You couldn't just get off with a slap on the hoof for unleashing nothingness. So, community service it was. Posey had to laugh. If pony unity was on the brink of destruction over some words and feelings, then it wasn't that strong to begin with.

She carefully set the shears aside and tapped her hooves. Her community service was supposed to start right now and while the distance from the Sheriff's Office to her place was outside the norm for Maretime Bay, she had timed the walk and there were few earth ponies that were slower than her. Especially if Hitch had explained in detail her little display of anger. She had tried to keep calm when the do-gooder sheriff read her criminal rights, but she had been rather annoyed with the whole farce of it. They needed a scapegoat in a way, a face to connect how their precious magic broke and she was it.

"Fuck that shit." She stretched her hooves and groaned as her back popped from hours of hard gardening. "Guess I'll just have to write a firmly worded complaint to show how completely mad I am. They'd probably say it was just a normal day for me, but there's a whole procedure that should be followed. It's not my fault Maretime Bay has a no crime problem. Sunny should have thought of that before causing upheaval and chaos. The town worked perfectly well without the whole foreign pony problem."

She kept an eye on the horizon, a hoof shading her face from the hot springtime air. She squinted, possibly seeing a red dot coming ever closer. She blinked and opened her eyes to a distant Sprout running the fastest she had ever seen him go. Hitch must have put the fear of earth into him to get him to move that fast. Commendable effort, she filed her complaint away for the time being and waited. If Hitch had been the one to welcome her to community service, she would have sent in complaints in triplicate. But Sprout? She had plans for him. Mainly because he lit a fire in her loins that she normally only felt when she was masturbating.

She blamed the whole 'accidentally take over the town' debacle. She always had a thing for stallions in power. Especially cute idiot stallions that let her have some fun with them. And Sprout was definitely shorter and smaller than her.

***

Posey had expected community service to be somewhat easy. It was Maretime Bay for earth's sake, littering was a crime in and of itself and yet here she was dressed up in garish orange and picking up bags of trash. And every time she thought she was done with an area, more and more litter rained down from the sky.

Posey glared up at Windy who casually dumped an entire garbage can on the street. Her eye twitched as she gripped the garbage grabber in her hooves and tried not to break it. "Hey, no littering."

Windy shrugged and lazily flopped on her back, her wings propping her up. Posey seethed for two reasons now. Zipp opening up that stupid fucking training school for pegasi made her pissed because it was hard enough dealing with the winged ones normally but the bravado and sheer sass of them lazily floating about when earth ponies were the ones doing all the work just irked her. "Hitch's orders, Posey, he temporarily froze the crime of littering today. Something about helping you do some community service, whatever that means. Either way I'm on the Litter Squad."

Posey gritted her teeth. She now knew exactly why Hitch agreed to let Sprout anywhere near her. If Hitch was here in her presence, she'd wrap her hooves around his neck and strangle him. There was a time and place to suspend or change the criminal code and it was called town hall meetings. Because Sprout was here, she would be on her best behavior. Or at least an attempt would be made to be 'chill'.

"Huh, Hitch hadn't told me that. Though maybe I wasn't listening then, he kind of never shuts up about justice and the law. Honestly kind of boring." Sprout leaned against a nearby wall, completely not paying attention to the 'No Loitering' sign right above his head, slowly drinking one of Sunny's rainbow smoothies as he cautiously watched Posey pick up trash. It was probably the most boring task he'd done in the last month while working but he was getting paid at least.

He'd do a lot of stuff for money. Same for attention. His court appointed psychologist called it a 'character flaw.'

Posey sighed carefully picking up Windy's trash. She didn't know where it had been, especially since the reddish pink pegasus was known to be a bit of a whore. She'd heard rumors of the pegasus just flitting about Maretime Bay and beyond looking for hookups. She just looked like a mare who had tasted every flavor of pony known to ponykind- earth, pegasi, unicorn. If Sunny wasn't such a nerd, she'd probably see what alicorn tasted like.

Posey almost smiled. then she realized what she was doing and sighed. careful not to step in the liquid goo that came out of the trash. She tried not to gag, dry heaving as she went about her business.

Posey leaned back in the cafe's chair, she felt disgusting after hours of doing Maretime Bay's trash collection- she had seen things that she didn't want to imagine ever again. She had thought Maretime Bay was a good sexless town and the trash she had picked up definitely dispelled some of that- she blamed the new foreign influences. Sure, she had her own collection of sex toys, any mare worth her cutie mark did, but they were earth pony made and not these new magical designs or streamlined pegasi make. Just some old time get the job done kind of toy. She groaned as she felt muscles she didn't know she had ache and she felt horribly sticky with the sweat she had all over her. She worked out a lot, but the constant bend and snap of picking up trash was unfamiliar to her muscles.

"Okay so community service day one done. Let's see, that makes you have to complete like sixty more hours." Sprout carefully penciled in his notebook for later. He would normally not care much about procedure, but with this being the first criminal case in the Bay that wasn't over damaged sandcastles or food complaints, it was kind of novel. "So, twenty more weeks of this, and you will be done."

Posey rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Emperor Sprout."

Sprout stopped and cocked his head. "What?"

Posey blinked. She hadn't wanted that to come out right now. She mentally called him that all the time. It was hard not to when the slightly pudgy stallion took control of Maretime Bay so easily. She squirmed in her chair as she tried not to get all hot and bothered about all the rather naughty daydreams she had of him. "Oh, just kidding. It's a joke. Cause you went through all the same community service things, right, Sprout?" She mentally cheered as she saved herself a rather awkward time.

Sprout blushed slightly. "Yes, but actually no. If you think this is bad, try explaining yourself to every single random pony in Equestria. I liked seeing other towns, but having ponies just stare angrily because I decided building a weapon of mass destruction was a good idea."

"It was a good idea."

Sprout blinked. "I mean it was a cool idea, but it wasn't a great one. Kind of hurt Canterlogic's whole brand."

Posey rolled her eyes. "It was only a bad idea because you didn't win. If you had, you'd have created a earth pony paradise where everyone was the same because they would have had no magic."

Sprout blushed slightly. He hadn't thought of it like that before. It made at least a little bit of sense. "Okay, but I also kind of like Maretime Bay as it is now. Sure, we have way more foreign crime doers that make our jobs harder but having new tv shows and games from other parts of Equestria is kind of neat. Even though when I told the other pony races what pizza was, they thought I was kidding. Like who hasn't heard about pizza? It's only the second-best food outside of ice cream. Though maybe its actually the best food since dessert pizza exists."

Posey tried not to groan. She carefully tapped her hoof as she listened to Sprout ramble on about different pony cultures and all that rot that she kind of hated. She faked paying attention by just staring at his face, seeing his mouth blab away about nonsense, imagining him reaching over the table and kissing her passionately on the mouth, his breath hot and fast as he ground his tongue into hers. He would bridal carry her to her place and they would rut gloriously for days. . .

"Posey. are you okay? You're looking flustered about something. Is it something I said?"

Posey pulled out of her reverie in a huff. She had just been blocked from having an imaginary Sprout rut her senseless. She rubbed her legs together to try and get back to reality. She grimaced as she felt the need in her loins for a mate. She had overjudged her restraint when it came to her wants. "I'm fine. I think the heat is just getting to me, Emperor." She tried to smile as she mentally chided herself for calling him Emperor yet again. "I just remembered that I had places to be and appointments to keep."

"Okay, cool. Uh, well I still have to keep an eye on you cause Hitch kind of told me to keep an eye on you. What with it being only a few weeks after you nearly made the town into a lynch mob. He explicitly told me to keep you in my sights all day just so Maretime Bay doesn't fall into 'chaos and disharmony'- some phrase Sunny told him once. Her and her magical history nonsense, I think, but I don't want to have the town swallowed up on my watch. I'd probably be grounded for months afterwards or dead."

Posey put Hitch lower on her shit list as she heard that. He may be a goody horseshoes and kind of a bitch about rules and regulations but having Sprout to herself all day? Not even in her wildest dreams could she have imagined that.

***

"Welcome to Mane Melody, how may I help you today. . ." Jazz's customer service smile almost faltered as she saw the pony that was entering the mane salon. Posey was one tough customer and the last time she entered the place, Pipp had a near existential breakdown due to light criticism. Pipp was a decent boss, but she handled bad reviews like it was the end of the world. Jazz breathed out and carefully sat up in her chair, lightly showing off to Maretime Bay's number one racist that she was an earth pony. Maybe starting off on a correct hoof to diffuse a situation was a good idea. It was better at least to her than spending hours hearing Pipp wail about her review scores on the internet and seeing her eat horrifying amounts of ice cream in one sitting, "Hey, Posey what are you and. . . Sprout doing here?"

Posey rolled her eyes. "What do you think? To do my mane for today, duh." Sometimes ponies were as dumb as rocks. "Why are you out here greeting customers anyway. Like you are an earth pony, a decent one even if I dislike your mane colors and all that, you'd think Pipp would have a nice idea to use ponies that know what they are doing with their kind."

Jazz carefully tapped her hooves together, today's nail polish a nice rainbow hue, and carefully chose her words. Posey was like a real large rock, immovable, tough as stone, hard to break, but with a few honeyed words and sidestepping her pointed barbs- Jazz could be like water and wear down even the hardest pony. There was a reason Posey came here anyway. Both Jazz and her knew but didn't mention that the yellow earth pony was pretty much banned from most establishments for bad behavior. "Oh, yes, that's true. But Pipp also had this odd idea called employee training and so sometimes we switch off on duties. Less efficient at times, but a well-rounded staff is better than a specialized staff in times of sickness or vacation. Now getting those pleasantries aside, what services do you want today? The usual?"

Posey shook her head. She wasn't planning on looking average for Sprout. And she lived frugally enough that she could splurge a bit. "While I normally would say yes, I want to do something different, it's been a while since I treated myself. What's your most expensive option? You know besides the one that has the whole song and dance number, I'd never be in the mood for that. It's too annoying for me."

Jazz cocked her head. That's a new one. Posey was normally one for doing the exact same mane style with no shampoo or hooficures or anything of the sort. It was odd. Very odd. Then the blue earth pony was hit by the oddest notion she had. If the yellow mare was diverging heavily from her routine it had to be for one reason: she was in the yearly mood for sex and she wanted to get with somepony. Jazz grimaced. The only pony she'd ever come in with was Sprout right here. Sure, there were whispers that Posey fucked, but there was no real proof. The thought horrified the manicurist, and she felt her eye twitch as the image of a Posey in the throes of anything close to passion hit her brain. "Cool, yeah. I'll get right on it. One full package sans karaoke session coming up." She trotted off to warn Rocky that Posey might be trying to get in bed with the Bay's worst bachelor. The pegasi stallion was a nasty gossip and he'd love this shit.

Posey ran through the halls of Canterlogic, her mane and coat soaking wet from the rainstorm outside, her flowers waterlogged and unusable. She heard the muffled speech of Mrs. Cloverleaf through the vents as she passed by. Talk of terrible unicorns and uncouth pegasi and how Canterlogic 'would be a beacon in the storm of uncertainty'. How fitting. Posey sighed as she put down the basket of flowers and laid her head back on the cold steel walls of the factory.

"Are you okay?"

Posey jumped up scattering her nearby basket in shock. She had expected to be completely alone. It was Bay policy for most of the town to come in and listen to Canterlogic branded talks and besides the odd few ponies that lived in the lighthouse, she expected most of the town to be behind those walls. The only reason she wasn't was because she had tried to pick rare flowers out near the beach- the tropical blooms happening so infrequently to be almost like magic, blooming once every few moons. She stared down at the turned over hoofwork, the coral lillies and seafoam tulips sitting in the wet carpet. "No."

The pony bent down to start picking up the ruined flowers, his red coat and mane that looked familiar, but she couldn't place from where. "Too bad about your flowers. My mom says freak thunderstorms are from the pegasi up near Zephyr Heights who are trying to drown us. That or something about unicorns cursing the skies." The colt hastily picked up the basket, his hooves scampering over the carpet for any lost flowers, no matter how limp. "Anyways, I'm surprised you are out here. The only reason I get to be out of the learning room is that I already heard the speech like a thousand times. That and I could list the entire Canterlogic code of conduct in my sleep."

Posey nodded, unused to having anypony help her. "I ran late. For the flowers. I'm Posey Bloom, I was running here, and I forgot how far away the beach was." She blushed since she had thought of timing herself to see exactly how big the town was, but she had talked herself out of it. She didn't want to seem weird, especially not since Sunny Starscout was a pariah because she 'didn't get along with the town'.

The red colt whistled. "You went all the way to the beach. I'm jealous. Mom never lets me go outside without her permission. Something about water like that being dangerous. What was it like?"

Posey blinked. "Uh, it was the beach. Sand, trees, water. I would have probably stayed longer if this-" Posey pointed a hoof at the shut doors. "wasn't going on."

"You aren't missing much. You were here last month probably. The speech hasn't changed. I wish it would though, there's only so much end of the world talk about pegasi controlling the weather and unicorn curses versus our technology until a small part of me actually wants to see that happen. At least it would be more exciting than Mom trying to teach me the ins and outs of Canterlogic's numbers."

Posey cocked her head. "Uh, what?"

The colt facehoofed. "Oh, I never told you my name, did I? I mean it isn't' surprising since you're the first actual pony I've spoken to in like a month that isn't a tutor or in my mom's company. Sprout Cloverleaf at your service." The colt bowed as he spoke.

Posey's eyes went into pinpricks. She had been talking to Maretime Bay royalty for the last ten minutes and she never even noticed. She cursed herself for not realizing sooner, mentally chastising herself for not paying attention in the Canterlogic training days, thinking more of flowers than of the sheer danger. She had thought there might have been a colt near Mrs. Cloverleaf in the last few months. She looked down at her shaking hooves, unsure of what to do, her mind torn between fleeing in terror or hugging him.

She looked up into his nice green eyes and decked him in the muzzle, her brain just accepting that she did a bad thing, and that she'd probably be the Bay's newest pariah, her hooves scrambling for her wicker basket and running headlong through the lobby and into the rain outside. She didn't look back to even see what his face looked like, probably a tinge of hurt and surprise as he looked at her fleeing form.

That was the first, but not the last time she freaked out and punched him. Though that was the last real conversation the pair had that lasted more than a few minutes. She just couldn't deal with her emotions when she was near him. Some might call it a crush, but after years of watching him from afar and trying not to blurt out her feelings, it had turned into an obsession. And that was before he tried to take over the town. She had spent days afterwards scrounging the rubble of the square for pieces of his machine and scraps of his clothing like a deranged fan.

It was not her proudest moment.

***

Rocky stared down at the pony in his chair, her face covered by a mask of green mud. The tea of the situation was far weirder than he expected. He tried not to get too riled up, feeling his golden wings shake ever so slightly as he tried to keep calm. Jazz had told him that Posey came in with the worst stallion in the Bay- he knew stallions well and Sprout wasn't a catch. Sure, there's a lid for every pot, but Sprout? Either Posey was completely nuts or. . .no, that had to be it. She could have chosen Hitch if she had been quick, or even there were a few unicorns and pegasi from outside Maretime Bay that could have been good for her. Then she opened her mouth and spilled out her horrifying life story. He was a stylist, not a relationship advisor. "So, you punched your first crush in the face and gave him a black eye?"

Posey leaned back in the chair, letting the sink of water wet her mane and allowing the winged one to even touch her for a brief moment. It wasn't like she had a choice. The earth pony focused shops had banned her after the whole "ruining magic for everypony" event she was trying to atone for. Or at least get a clean bill of goodness so she could be a member of society again. "High emotions. I mean I wouldn't do it again. Probably. Though I have thrown him out a window because he walked too close to me, and I saw his butt."

Rocky rolled his eyes. He had heard enough of the history of the town he moved to from Jazz. She had grown up here and saw every unfortunate event with Sprout and Posey- from what she described it was a comedy of errors. If Sprout had even breathed in the direction of the yellow pony, she would almost piledrive him into the dust. Rocky knew ponies enough that that was not the best way to start a relationship- he wasn't even in her dating pool and he though Posey was a complete nut. "Right, so what's the problem?"

Posey unpeeled a cucumber from her face and bit into it. "You know more about stallions that I do. I mean you and Windy are the town bicycles. She fucks anything that moves, and you only hunt for cock."

Rocky breathed out, careful not to upset Mane Melody's hard won near five-star rating. Windy was a good friend of his and she definitely wasn't anything near that reputation. "She's gay, Posey, not a monster. Also she is most definitely a lesbian, not 'a town bicycle.' Where did you hear that anyway?" He punctuated his words with a slight bit of harder pressure on her scalp.

Posey shrugged. "Here and there. Easy to hear rumors when I was the head of the Community Safety Board."

"Which is a made-up club full of you and your few acquaintances of old maids and horny mares. From what Jazz told me, you weren't even awarded a medal for your efforts of "morality policing" and Canterlogic loves stupid participation medals. Hell, they gave Lemon Tart a "best dance performance award" recently and he can't dance for shit unless he's hammered. And he was stone cold sober when he got that farce of an award."

Posey sputtered. She hadn't expected that small blemish on her record to be mentioned. Sure, it had been a decade of work that hadnt paid off, and Mrs. Cloverleaf hadn't singled her out for a medal, but it wasn't too bad. Half the town didn't have a medal. "Well, okay. rumors or not you do need to help. I mean I tried getting information on relationships from the internet and it led me into some odd corners of that place."

Rocky smirked. He wondered what site Posey had probably ended up on. If he had to guess by her delusional self, it was some "hot singles in Maretime Bay" scam site. "Okay, okay. One condition though."

Posey fidgeted. "Fine. What is it?"

"Stop being such a bitch. I know, I know, it's an impossible ask, but maybe you might get laid."

Posey huffed, crossing her hooves in protest. She was not the problem; it was the ponies around her that were.

"If you at least chill a bit with the whole 'the evil unicorns and pegasi are coming to get me' crap maybe it would be better. I mean even Canterlogic has chilled out a bit and there were the evil corporation that helped your dumb crush make a death machine. If you can do that, I'd give you a makeover that makes that colt unable to keep his hooves off you."

Posey thought about that deeply, she could just chill out with some of the pointed barbs in public and still keep her thoughts to herself behind closed doors. Nopony had to know about her collection of stuff that reminded her of only a month back- parts of the war machine, her own costume carefully sewn in the likeness of Sprout's, her pile of written plans on how to get back to some nicer time when there wasn't magic. Okay that last one made her cringe a bit because she liked making huge plants without as much effort- made her flower shop business that much easier to run. And scaring Windy every few days by magicking up a massive daisy made her fiendishly giggle. It was the small things that brought her joy. "Fine, fine. I'll try and stop having the town have a referendum on gay bars."

Rocky cocked an eyebrow.

"And stop calling you horrible monsters. Or trying to get lynch mobs be seen as peaceful protests. Is that better?"

The male pegasus flapped his wings in thought. "It's a start." He knew she was lying. He wasn't an idiot; she hadn't even looked him in the eyes for half of that- and she wasn't a pony that was shy about things normally. She literally sat outside of the Satin Stallion with a megaphone ranting about community morals. She was lying out her ass, but he wanted to see what was going to happen next. If these two fucked their brains out, it'd be the talk of the town and he could gloat about hitching these assholes up for the next decade. Maybe she could get fucked so hard she'd become nice, but that would take a miracle. And they were talking about Sprout- he could barely live on his own.

"Okay, I'll do it." He ruffled through his drawer for a few makeup options as he tried to figure out what exactly to do with Posey's mane. She took care of herself enough, but Sprout was a stallion, there could always be some more oomph to her. Well oomphier oomph. He had enough time on his hooves, and a few months of massaging the yellow mare that he knew that she was not just hard and mean with her words, but also hard as rock. If she was a stallion, he'd fuck her.

Rocky cringed at the thought as he swept her mane forward, trying to extract the hot mare underneath this crazy bitch.

***

Sprout tapped his hooves together. He hated waiting, the act of sitting down and passing time without much going on boring him immensely- he grumbled as since it was a work stakeout in a way, he hadn't been able to bring his hoofheld games and blast away some evil unicorn scum in Foal Cry 6, he had been trying to complete that game for so long, but life kept getting in the way.

He stared up at the ticking clock on the wall, the back-and-forth tick annoying him as it just teased him that time was going by ever so slowly. He had expected Posey's thing here to take not that long- she looked okay normally, the sweep of her mane and tail giving him ways to not look her directly in the eyes.

He had learned not to after years of looking and getting piledriven into the dirt for doing so.

He stared up at the ceiling, bored out of his mind, ready to stare directly into the buzzing lights above him. Maybe being blind was better than pure boredom. At least it wouldn't hurt.

"What are you looking at?" Posey's voice was close. He was glad, because he had run out of things to do. He wasn't Sunny's weird unicorn friend who could find meaning out of anything, he was normal.

Sprout shrugged. "Nothing. Guessing you are done then-" Sprout turned his head up and blinked. Posey's eyes were directly staring at him, without hesitation. What was worse was that she had a layer of makeup that accentuated her eyes, dark blue lightening to a pale green at the tips. It was so unlike the mare who barely used makeup that he was nearly drawn into the trap of staring into her eyes.

So, he did the safe thing and looked at her tail and balked as the safety of that was now ripped away as horror of horrors, the cropped mane and tail brought out areas of Posey that had been covered ever so nicely- primarily he had way too much view of her ass. Her tail thankfully was long enough to cover the true scary thing that his mother away warned him about- but it was too close to comfort. Especially since he hadn't realized that she had such a toned and muscular ass. He had expected such a feminine seeming pony to have similar features in places that stallions would talk about, but now it made total sense how he kept getting blindsided by her strength whenever she got mad. Because she was built like a brick shithouse, and he felt woefully inadequate for checking her out all these times.

It freaked him out and, horror of horrors, it turned him on.

***

"One spinach and mushroom pizza, large and one five cheese with white sauce as a base, large." The pizza pies were slid onto their shared table, the pony who carried the pizzas over glancing ever so quickly at their soda glasses and going back to their job when the niceties of service were over. They had groaned at their ticket when they learned who was on it- both ponies were notorious for barely tipping.

Posey crossed her hooves, the words of Rocky echoing through her mind. "I dunno about Sprout, but he is weird about pizza. Probably do a date there. And really get his attention that you want to do more stuff. He's oblivious. I mean he stepped into Maretime Bay's gay bar multiple times and almost became a regular just because he likes fruity drinks. Imagine the sheer disappointment when a bar full of horny stallions saw a twink like that and realized he wasn't gay." She grimaced at the thought of burly gay stallions objectifying her Sprout. That was her job. She was the one who wanted to gobble his dick. She sighed, maybe the gay stallion was right, maybe she had to come on super strong. Here she was with a makeover, and he could barely keep his eyes on her.

Sprout couldn't keep eye contact if his life depended on it. The red, pudgy stallion fidgeted fiercely whenever she had full eye contact. She grinned and took a few slices of her vegetarian pizza. She heard her stomach growl as she smelled the aroma of the seasoned mushroom pie and she quickly realized that she was rather famished. She had eaten briefly before Emperor Sprout had fetched her for her service to the town, but she hadn't expected the long and hard work that had entailed. She had thought it would have been easy. It was Maretime Bay after all, so Hitch relaxing his public ordinance on littering had ramped up the mess.

She felt a sore burning in her muscles that even Rocky's hard hooves and careful ministrations had not entirely worked out, though she wondered if it was because she spent most of the time outside in her garden or in the wilderness that her body, or at least parts of her were more akin to marble than the normal whorish displays of most ponies. Especially that Pipp, the plush pegasus princess that ran Mane Melody, everypony was infatuated with her and all Posey could see was a short, fat pudgeball of a pony. Posey rolled her eyes and shoved the pieces of pizza into her mouth, barely able to focus on the date as she wanted to sate her hunger.

Didn't help that it was her first actual date. Not that she was a virgin, but most ponies had done the one-night stand treatment- fuck and dash- when they realized that she was a few flowers short of a bouquet. Thankfully, she had put the fear of earth into them so there hadn't been a hit to her reputation. Hard to be a good member of the morality squad when you had every kind of earth pony sex toy on the market. Though she often squared that circle by thinking she had to- how else would she know the absolute debauchery in the hearts of others without hooves on experience?

"You hungry?" Posey glanced at Sprout's plate of pizza, barely touched. Which was odd because if the stallion could marry pizza and fuck it, he probably would.

The red stallion blushed and looked away from Posey's eyes, her cool greens studying him far more confidently than he was used to. A normal conversation had been off the table for nearly a decade and here they were in his favorite pizza place over a few pies. It was almost too perfect. And he had another issue that he was uncomfortable with. He was rock hard whenever he stared at her, the new shorter manecut had brought attention to her features and he just sat there staring, barely able to focus as she chowed down on pizza like his dream mare. Hitch joked once that Sprout had to go to therapy for being weird, but here he was almost agreeing that the orange stallion might be right. "I'm fine. Just not expecting you here is all. Especially like that. You know, uh, I heard grease was bad for makeup. Not like I know that or anything."

Posey smiled. He was rather cute when he was flustered. She leaned forward in her side of the booth and let her legs briefly touch his for a brief moment. "Well, you did deal with like a full hour of being in the mane salon. Had to be super boring, so I just thought I'd be nice and go to a place you'd like."

Sprout's mouth felt dry as he felt Posey's leg rub up to his, the motion making him wonder if there was something more here that he hadn't realized before. The odd slip ups of Posey- those odd 'Emperor' moments of hers- the makeover that accentuated and forced him to look at her, this pizza. . .date." He blinked and almost heard his mother's voice chastise him for falling into the most cliche of mare traps.

She wanted to fuck him. And he didn't know what to do because she could easily break him over her knee, and he wasn't used to the idea that he was actually attractive- years of being in Hitch's presence had made him used to being the "unattractive" one, and he hadn't even dated ever. Or even got laid because of how his mom made any potential marefriends go through an entire process before they even met Sprout- hoops of background checks, personality profiles, and being completely into Canterlogic's whole schtick had weaned any hope of him ever getting laid. And that was before he remembered his true shame- his massive throbbing dick.

He gulped and tried to calm down by eating his pizza. He usually felt better after that- that or ice cream and he had none to eat. He silently cursed Hitch for making him be the one to watch over Posey 'the entire day' and grimaced as he felt her back hooves tease his dick, the up and down ministrations edging him to release and letting off ever so slightly as to almost cause him to orgasm right then and there in public.

And he watched her coldly smile at him as she played coy and ate her pizza. She was playing with him like a piece of meat, and he was loving every minute of it. He just knew that his mom would be livid, and Hitch would probably be completely horrified, but they didn't have to know about this. He carefully continued eating his cheese pizza in silence as he felt an ache in parts that he had barely used because his mom had put the fear of God- or her- into him so often that he had barely even jacked off outside of the few times she had a business trip or the shameful times he hid in his closet to rub one out. The last time he did was six months ago, and it had been so messy that he barely had time to clean up the mess before his mother returned.

And here Posey was nonchalantly driving him mad in public. How very unlike whatever mare his mom would have tried to set him up with. She was the furthest thing from what his mom would call 'feminine' or 'coy' or 'wife material'.

The two ponies stared at each other, waiting for the other to break the sexual tension that was oozing out between them. It was a few minutes more until something finally broke in Sprout and he moved forward just a little, breaking the teasing up and down rhythm of Posey's hoof that was making it hard to focus. The red stallion blushed heavily as he pulled out his wallet and laid out a pile of bits that easily paid for the pair of pizzas multiple times over. He stared at Posey, her own cheeks flush with desire after nearly ten whole minutes of this sexual charade and breathed out a curt reply. "So going by what's been happening underneath this table, I might have to add time to your sentence. Though I'm unsure, I'd have to see what your cottage looks like first."

Posey blushed heavily as Sprout grasped her hoof firmly in his and didn't let go.

"But we need to get to go boxes for all this pizza cause I'm not wasting it."

***

Posey kicked her front door open and carried Sprout inside in a reverse bridal carry. She had run through Maretime Bay in record time, even more impressive since Sprout hadn't walked here at all. Sprout slid the boxes of pizza onto the table and sat down on her floral couch.

This was the first time a stallion was in her house- she had often separated business and pleasure so much that one-night flings had been in the woods or in someone's cart, not her place. And here she was staring at him on her couch, his hair slicked back with a sheen of sweat and his massive cock right there.

Posey balked for a moment. Sprout was not that large and was actually kind of short for a stallion. And she'd slept with a not small number of eligible stallions in the Bay. And he blew most of them out of the water, multiple feet of black stallion rod arcing painfully up his stomach, half the width of a soda bottle, his crotch visibly pulsing with need as her teasing had heavily inflated his balls to the size of grapefruits or slightly larger. She had no idea how to classify his monster dong. She gulped heavily as he laid back and groaned. He looked like the unicorn smut that she had started confiscating recently, but as far as she knew he was all natural.

"So, what's next? I mean I haven't been with a mare. . .ever." Sprout sheepishly looked up at the ceiling as he said that. He felt the radiating warmth from between his legs and sighed. He hadn't felt like this in years, his mother berating him for the last time he had fully let his dick control him- puberty had been an absolute awkward nightmare- and he wondered if that had caused his mom to start making sure dates were 'adequate' because he was cursed with a dick that was shamefully too big. He fidgeted as he waited for the horseshoe to drop- Posey would laugh at him or be shocked once she spoke again and he'd have to leave. It would make the most sense.

Posey stammered as she spoke. "I-I don't know. I thought I'd show you my costume I made that was a copy of your Emperor dress, and then we'd do it. I mean you kind of weren't that impressive in my wildest dreams." She blinked remembering the last thirty minutes, the size of his dick definitely nowhere near as big as what was on display here. "You weren't that big at the pizza shop. . .like you were adequate and all but not this big. I was carrying you through the town, how did I miss. . .oh fuck, Oh fuck, oh fuck. You're going to get indecent exposure. Or assault with a deadly weapon. I'm going to go to extra jail."

Sprout rolled his eyes. "First of all, I doubt ponies noticed since you ran through the town in such a blur. And Hitch wouldn't believe anypony that said you were bridal carrying me through the town. But yeah, I was kind of freaked out. And after years of training to not pop a boner in public, you kind of wore my stamina down. Fondling my junk in public- and being hit on by the mare I've had a crush on for forever? My name isn't Hitch Trailblazer, you scared me half to death and most of the blood went to this. Doesn't help that specialists called me a shower and a grower, whatever the fuck that means." Sprout grimaced. "My mom is going to kill me or ground me for sure." He winced as his dick pulsed, ready for action, impatient for what would come next. He didn't exactly know since his mom was tightlipped about the process, but his dick knew. At least he could figure out some of the basics because he had been curious once and looked at porn in shame.

The earth pony mare blinked. Sprout had a crush on her? For a while? And she had spent an entire decade piledriving him into the dirt? A twinge of regret nagged in her mind as she stared at her dream stallion, the short, slightly chubby set of him adorable and hiding the most impressive dong. The best of both worlds in her opinion. And her opinion mattered because she was supposed to be the most moral pony in town- barring secret indiscretions. She shivered at the thought. She had been bad and needed to be punished. She slowly rubbed her nethers together, the sexual need making a mess of her wooden floor as it dripped like a faucet.

Posey sighed and tossed her whole mental plan aside; the sexual cosplay of the Bay's hottest dictator could wait. She mentally thanked Rocky for her short pixie cut right now, imagining the mess her normal long ponytail would be in after whatever hot and heavy sex she was going to have. Mentally she'd have to tip the gay stallion extra and maybe ask for him to be her favorite worker in Mane Melody for a while- how very unlike her. She picked up Sprout gently in her hooves and slid him onto the floor. She may be focused on fulfilling a hole in her, but she didn't want to spend a few hundred bits cleaning her upholstery.

Sprout looked up at Posey, the closeness of the two now highlighting her muscles. He knew from minutes of glancing at her shortened tail that she had an ass that a bit could bounce off of, but her body was equally muscled, just it had been harder to notice since she had a layer of plush that had been hiding her physique until she squatted down and placed her hot bad place right above his. "What are you doing?" He looked up at her and could swear that she was almost on the verge of tears.

"I've been bad. Sprout, I need to be punished. And your dick is the most beautiful dick I've ever seen, no matter what anypony says. So, plow the ever-loving shit out of me until I can't walk."

Before he could protest, she speared herself on his dick and hilted him completely within her, the shock of having a mare actually take him fully made him feel like he was dreaming. It should have been impossible. His mom had taken him to doctors and every Canterlogic specialist since puberty and they had said it would be nearly impossible, the act of sex too painful for all but the rarest of partners. And Posey was pistoning herself madly up and down his rod like a madmare.

He was in love.

He grinned as he kept hilting inside Posey, mentally wishing he had taken the leap sooner, the feeling of her blazing hot insides odd to him- though he had no idea how to react. Years of not having sex or even seeing how truly fun it felt made the act so novel and new to him. He cautiously reached out and touched her, her coat covered in a fine mist of sweat, the musk of her causing his senses to focus on her fully. He hadn't realized that she smelled like roses until now. He had no reason to know that fact because she had always kept him at hoof's length.

She was amazing to watch her body in motion- he couldn't see all of her because of the way she straddled him, his view was primarily just her backside. Though it was a chiseled backside that he definitely enjoyed, the muscles all bunching together and moving apart in rhythm, her butt a work of art with how toned it was. It looked far larger up close- it made him think he was soon to see a lunar eclipse with how it felt like it towered over him.

He reached out and cupped it, the feel of the plush yet toned rear almost driving him over the edge as he did so. He breathed out slowly, trying to calm down. He felt his nuts slosh with seed, and he sat there dumbfounded for a moment. Here he was looking up at the hottest mare that would bone him, and his dick was thinking that wasn't enough for release. He sighed, wondering if years of porn mixed with learned sexual restraint and self-dislike of his member had desensitized it from this fantasy. He had the hottest mare in the Bay in his opinion bouncing on his dick and he was nowhere near release.

Whatever nonsense he mentally had, he had to come up with a solution quick or else the final release would be far too messy. He wasn't all that smart, unlike Sunny or Hitch, so he took a brief moment attempting to come up with an alternate solution, he found no good alternatives. All except for one. He had trained his dick without magic, the idea of earth pony magic not even a factor when he was growing up- if he shocked his system by using it, maybe he'd finally cum for the first time in half a year.

He breathed in and shut his eyes as he tried to remember the mumbo jumbo explanation that unicorn had spewed at him about magic. Something about believing in yourself or some hippie shit that he couldn't completely understand. Once Sunny's manic friend had ranted about sparkles, he had completely tuned her out. But he had a sort of baseline- she had said his magic was in his core, whatever that truly meant, either way he slowly focused on his heartbeat- faster than normal of course- and followed its course to his core.

He waited and waited, the beat of his heart and the ache of his loins the only things he focused on- until he found what he was looking for- his magic. It was small and faint and glowing a shade of green, but once he reached out and touched it, it spread into him and filled him with a resolve to break his dick's barrier for release. Letting out a cry of triumph, he fired up his hooves and he felt a burst of strength and a second wind he didn't know he had. He felt his orgasm rush over him like water and he squirmed as his vision blurred and nearly blacked out from the waves of pleasure that he had so often denied himself. The feeling

Posey slowed down her jackhammer motions as the blazing heat of Sprout's cum filled her to the brim. She groaned as she felt her most inner part of herself try to contain a veritable sea of white. She grinned as she felt her middle bloat slightly as her little stallion that could outperformed most stallions' monthly load without even trying. She sat back and sighed, ready to relax or continue depending on what he decided. Then she realized that she didn't feel him moving- which was worrying- hopefully he hadn't blown his load for one final time. Posey had heard old mares' tales of stallions keeling over after a good fuck.

She hoped he wasn't dead. The fact was that he was the first stallion that didn't outright think she was nuts and entered her house- most had been nowhere near her place when she fucked them- cold efficiency had made her rut in the woods or the back of a cart instead. The massive cock was a benefit too, but she'd rather just eat pizza and maybe bone for fun, which wasn't like her at all. She was the mare who put out on the first date because she wanted to try to keep them. She wasn't a sentimental mare and here she was worried that she fucked him to death.

Her eye twitched. Causing a race war was one thing, involuntary ponyslaughter was another. She'd be super screwed- Hitch would probably throw like seven different books of law for killing his deputy. She imagined the questions as to how Sprout died on her living room floor, how she seduced and murdered him with her marish wiles. It was a nightmare. "Okay, okay, just have to check one moment. Nothing major. Totally didn't kill him." She squirmed and pulled herself off of him for a moment, feeling the emptiness inside her as unfulfilling now. It wasn't every day she found a stallion that could outperform her collection of sex toys. She turned around to face him and as she looked down at her catatonic coltfriend he opened his eyes.

Sprout looked up at Posey and smiled. "Foreplay's over. Now we can get to the really fun bit." Sprout's eyes glowed green with magic as he stared up at his prize, carefully checking out parts of her that he hadn't dared until now and all he could see was her natural beauty, from her blushing and confused face, her toned middle, her untrimmed bush that was a mass of pink in a sea of yellow fur, all the way down to her hard as marble legs. Each part of her was perfect and he had to show how much he appreciated her.

He carefully slid out from under her, keeping her directly in his sights as he did so, and rose to his hooves. He stretched his muscles and grinned. He felt fantastic, like he was on a runner's high as he felt magic course through his veins. His dick pulsed with need, hard as steel as he stretched out a hoof to Posey. He knew exactly what he wanted and no voice in his head that sounded eerily like his mother would deter him from fucking the everloving shit out of the mare in front of him.

He put his hooves on either side of the yellow mare and lifted her up in a bridal carry, his magic filled muscles working overtime as earth pony strength he didn't know he had let him stare at his prize mare directly in the face for the first time in a long time without any fear of her decking him.

At least he hoped not.

The sexual situation probably defused that involuntary response from her. He kissed her wildly, unsure of the correct way, imagining what would Hitch do in this moment and faking it. This was his first kiss and while he had no technique, he made up for it with his fervor. He mashed his snout to hers, feeling her reciprocate as their tongues darted between their lips as the let the moment wash over them.

The pair of them pulled back from their kiss, breathless and flushed. Neither spoke a word for what felt like ages until Posey broke the silence, her face wet with tears as she hugged Sprout tightly. "I thought I killed you. Thank the earth and all that."

Sprout cocked his head. "What? I fainted. That's all. I mean it's the first time I came in six months. And somepony teased my balls a bit too much." He rolled his eyes and nuzzled his snout into her neck, smelling her rose scent that he now couldn't get enough of. It was so her, the flower mare that had treated him nice once. He smiled into her shoulder, realizing that for all the cold hard exterior, Posey still had enough of a heart to be worried about him.

Posey hugged his neck tightly. She felt tears wet her coat as she tried to relax again. "Okay, okay, that just tells me that you can't do that ever again. I mean what would I do if you keeled over because you came too much. No matter how hot that sounds, I'd rather have you."

Sprout drew his muzzle back. "So, this means. . ."

Posey rolled her eyes. Sprout was an oblivious idiot. Her idiot, but still really dumb sometimes. "Yeah, I guess we're dating. I mean we skipped like most of the boring parts anyway."

Sprout grinned. He was going to like this.

He carried her up the nearby stairs and walked firmly into her bedroom.

***

Sprout groaned as he looked at the clock on Posey's nightstand. 6 in the morning. He sat up in shock as he realized his mom would be livid for not telling her exactly where he was, who he was with, and why he hadn't called her. The room was heavy with the stench of sex, that faint chemical smell that hung around the pair like a cloud of desire. He shifted his weight, feeling his body wake up from the. . .hours. . .of passionate hard sex that he could only remember snippets of. The heft of her breasts as he ran his member over them, the pair of tits squeezing tightly together as she attempted to suck him off and give him a titjob at the same time and watching her fail at getting more than the crown of his cock in after a lot of effort. The image of her middle slightly bloated as he released load after load into her, the excess cum leaking out every time he pulled out of her. He winced in pain as his dick felt bruised and sore after that sexual display.

He wondered if Posey had used her own magic in the heat of the moment. He cautiously wiggled his hooves, making sure that his pelvis wasn't pulverized into dust. While that would be hot, but horribly painful, he didn't want to explain to Hitch how he had to go to the hospital.

He felt wonderful though, the afterglow of nearly a half day of passionate lovemaking had finally worked out a definite problem he had with his stupidly oversized member. Sprout smiled as he looked up at the ceiling, thinking that he could get used to this. Posey had seemed into it and the memories of her calling him every name in the book she could as he showed off from 'master' to 'emperor' to just 'Sprout'. Her loving cries as he finally fully consummated their relationship, her throaty moans hopefully muffled by the bedding that they had been writhing around in.

Hopefully because he didn't want to deal with a noise complaint whenever they rutted like animals.

Posey poked her head out of the covers, her makeup smeared and dried in streaks on her face, her mane limp and smelling of faint sweat and cum she blearily rolled over and cuddled into Sprout's chest her hooves gripping him tightly. "That was amazing. Though I think we have to do this a lot more often. I don't think I can handle another lay like that. My bed sure can't. Fuck, I'm going to have to pay out the ass just to get my bed cleaned."

Sprout sighed. "So, guess the whole dating thing is out then?"

Posey lifted her head and dragged herself over to him, her legs still numb from Sprout's sexual proficiency. "No you absolute dumbass, I did not say that. Didn't say that at all. What I meant is you can't keep all this virile stallion spunk of yours backed up. . ." Posey slipped a hoof under the covers and slid it over his sheath for a brief moment before resting it firmly on his balls, letting her hoof lightly squeeze them ever so lovingly as she leaned her body up to stare into Sprout's emerald green eyes. "Cause fuck, whatever hang-up your mom gave you about getting your rocks off was stupid. What'd she want to do? Kill your dates once you finally let it all go? Completely idiotic. No, I just have to screw you silly like three times a week at least just so you don't pop, Sprout." Posey smiled briefly as she traced a hoof around her stallion's plush middle. She wouldn't have to worry about mares taking him at least. He wasn't Hitch 'look at my fucking abs' Trailblazer. He was better. At least she was pretty sure Sprout had the bigger cock.

Sprout's pulse quickened as he glanced at the bedroom door, expecting his mother to come rushing in and seeing the pair in this state. It fucking terrified him. "She's going to fucking murder me once this comes out." Sprout felt the color drain from his face as he imagined his mom angrily looking at him, judging him. He rarely saw her mad and so when he did, he usually barricaded himself in his room, ready to eat either a stupid amount of pizza in worry or eat liters of ice cream as he waited to be grounded for eternity. "That or she kicks me out and disowns me."

Posey rolled her eyes. "We'll come to that bridge sooner or later. Plus, you do have a job and I have a house. Even if you do get your playcolt money taken away, you wouldn't be homeless."

Sprout blinked. "This is moving fast. I mean we just had sex."

"I didn't say move in now and get married, you dolt, just that if mommy dearest kicks you to the curb, you can move in. We can try the fuckbuddy route first. . .though I think you might pass there." Posey squeezed Sprout's balls more forcefully. "And if you moved in, well, it's my house, my rules."

Sprout nodded, getting the hint and sighing internally. A part of him found the hard yellow mare still as hot as the sun, so she could say pretty much whatever and he'd do it. Though he would do anything for food or money, to a point. He sighed and imagined that sex now counted too. He felt slightly ashamed of that thought- his mother would be disappointed.

He pushed that niggling thought aside. He had gotten laid. And a marefriend. Maybe not everything his mom said was the complete honest truth. At least some of the Canterlogic propaganda was mostly wrong- magic wasn't so bad.

"Sprout, can you be a good stallion and get me some breakfast? I'd get up and do it myself, but I can't feel my legs."

Sprout nodded, pulling the blankets aside and letting the cool air run over him. "We still have the pizza, though I don't think we put it in the fridge."

Posey rolled over and blew a strand of her mane out of her face. "Sounds perfect. And doesn't matter, just put that shit in the microwave. It'd probably fix the problem. And just put the pizza you don't heat up into the fridge, doofus. I mean I did that once or twice and I'm not fucking dead."

Sprout was in love.

Author's Note

I don't know what I was smoking when I came up with this mess. I guess I thought Sprout and Posey were cute together.

Plan on a few more chapters of this cause this was fun to write.