Author's Note

NSFW tag for mentions and details of self-harm and attempted suicide. Read at your own discretion. Thank you.

Well, maybe you shouldn't prod into it, huh? There's a reason why Alex told no one about it. It's too personal. I mean, not even Swift knew about this side of him. And as for Skystar, she doesn't know too.

This chapter may feel rushed, but trust me, it's not. Hope you guys enjoy the read! As always, feedback is appreciated!

And now, back to chapters 8-14. Yup! The revisions of those seven chapters are coming! Stay tuned!

-Harpy

Edit: I forgor to italicize the flashback reading.

Found Him! (NSFW)

Chapter 29: Found Him! (NSFW)

sigh “Well, that was a bit underwhelming….”

“I do hope your sister will be okay,” I said to Luna as we walked side by side. “It really felt like Celestia was about to have another mental breakdown. And it’s a good thing Nacreous grabbed her hoof right before she teleported away from the dining hall.”

Luna looked at me tiredly as she nodded. “Knowing my sister and her behavioral patterns, she’s back in her private chambers and will tucker herself out for the night. But, at least she’ll have her personal doctor to assist her in ‘recovery.’” giggle

As we walked the halls of Canterlot Castle, a series of short tingles pricked my fur as we passed by a group of guards. The ponies instantly stopped to salute, our smiles showing gratitude toward them. The Canterlot Royal Guard were always on patrol during the daytime shifts, which made me particularly jealous of their greater numbers.

I smirked, knowing that although that was true, they lacked the experience of stopping and defending the castle against intruders. It came with time and preparation, making me smile as we trotted before the throne room doors.

The Lunar Knights, my thoughts mused confidently. They’re the absolute pinnacle of mastery of combat and dedication to cause. Something the Royal Day Guard has yet to fully learn. As the throne room’s doors opened, I looked at Luna as she went inside, her head turning to address me.

“At least we won’t have to worry about any surprises today, my belov-”

“Oh, finally!” The voice of Discord echoed throughout the entire throne room as we both looked up in shock. There, lying across the two thrones, was the slender draconequus, a few pillows underneath him as he wore what appeared to be a night robe.

“Discord?” I asked as we quickly made our way to the stairs. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“Again, finally,” Discord huffed. “I’ve practically been waiting all evening to see you two, and your immediate concern is about my presence?” Luna shook her head and chuckled to herself as I cocked a brow.

“Well, anytime you appear, we always worry,” I said flatly. The draconequus sat up and took a pillow out, patting it a few times before placing it behind his head.

yawn! “Would it bother any of you to have a blanket here to snuggle under?” Discord yawned. “I don’t believe they cost too much, seeing as you get eternal discounts on stuff for your ‘personal lives.’” I brought a hoof to my face as Luna made her way up the throne’s stairs.

“Discord, while it would be nice to continue this charade,” Luna asserted, “I am going to ask that you kindly remove thyself from our throne.” The alicorn motioned for Discord to evacuate the throne, which he graciously obliged. I smiled in thought as Discord warmly nodded toward me.

“I’ve been waiting to meet you again for some time, timeless Commander,” Discord chirped. “First, I heard about the potential wedding being fairly soon, having received my and Fluttershy’s invitations.”

I nodded and smiled, a slight blush creeping to my face. “I-I know. I told Luna to choose the best location for it, and it took some time,” I admitted. “However, I think it’ll be perfect, especially for the reception afterward.” Discord brought his paw to his goatee and stroked it for a second.

“Even through a crisis?” Discord admonished.

“Yes, even through a crisis,” Luna exhaled. “I mean, think about it. When did Shifting propose to me again?” I sheepishly nodded as Discord shook his head, dismissing the topic.

“Yes, but even so…this will also be done without Alex providing the musical entertainment you two desired. Is that not correct?” the draconequus stated. Luna looked at me and closed her eyes in disappointment. I shook my head and sighed heavily, eyes darting to the floor below.

“Unfortunately,” I said sadly, my shoulders sagging slightly. “It would have been nice to have Alex and his musical expertise be put on full display, but sacrifices need to be made….”

“Even though he did it to protect himsel-”

“Discord,” I interrupted, holding up a hoof. Discord stopped talking as I looked back up at him, my eyes stricken with turmoil. “One thing at a time, please. It is too much for us to constantly cope with…especially for Luna’s sake….”

“And we don’t even know how Alex will react upon learning of the portal to his home being discovered,” Luna nervously said softly.

“On that note, the portal that I showed you all,” Discord mentioned. “There mayyy be something wrong with it.” My ears perked as I caught that, the soft gasp! from Luna drawing our attention.

“Wa-Was it the wrong one, Discord?” Luna hesitantly breathed out. Discord shook his head emphatically, drawing an exhale of relief from my mouth.

“No, it was correct,” Discord corrected. “It’s just…the magical property when I went through it was strangely familiar to me.”

“WHAT?! You went through the portal and into his world?!” I exclaimed with concern. Discord nodded slowly, his eyes closing in what appeared to be shame.

“I am sorry,” Discord admitted. “Curiosity took over for a split-second and…and I accidentally stepped through. Thank Faust, the portal had stayed open, though…but it was odd being there.” My head came up as the draconequus relayed the information.

“Firstly, Alex’s room is well kept, as if it has been undisturbed,” Discord said before shuddering. “But, when I looked at his clock, it hit me as to ‘why’ that was the case.”

Luna trotted back down toward us and looked at Discord with suspicion. “How so?” Luna asked.

“It…I-I-It didn’t…move,” Discord shivered, his voice going cold. “That world felt like it had completely stopped. Frozen in time. I admit I couldn’t do anything else because, well, what could I have done?” Discord shrugged his shoulders as he blinked.

I looked at Luna and shook my head. sigh “B-But…it IS Alexander Walkerson’s room?” I hesitantly emphasized the statement. “Right?”

Again, Discord nodded before his eyes widened. “Oh my goodness! I almost forgot why I was here in the first place!” Discord shouted, catching both Luna and me off guard.

“What do you mean?” Luna asked confusedly. “The room wasn’t what you initially wanted to tell us about?”

“Well,” Discord’s eyes rolled, as did his body. “What about the fact that Alex is literally in our version of hell right now?” Luna’s jaw, as did mine, heavily dropped as Discord started to laugh.

“Quite the expressions you both are wearing,” Discord chortled. “I saw some unusual movements in Tartarus and decided to investigate. And it turns out Alex can access and bypass the gate’s magical properties with his solar-energy-powered ax. You know, the Ax of Orichalcum that was bestowed to the protector of Equestria’s future? Cool, isn’t-”

“HE’S IN TARTARUS?!” we both exclaimed with horror. Discord jumped as the combined power of our voices reverberated throughout the castle. The chaotic draconequus straightened himself out after a few tense seconds before raising his claw.

“Y-Yes,” Discord stammered. Luna looked at me before her eyes became fiercely lit. Her horn charged as I scrambled forward, grabbing her hoof. Finally, as I closed my eyes, Luna dispelled the magic within her horn and teleported us from the throne room.

========================================<>========================================

“Discord, stay there! We’ll be back!” Luna barked, her orders fading into the air. The next thing I knew, they had vanished from the throne room, leaving a perplexed draconequus to huff in displeasure and exasperation.

groan! “And I thought they would at least leave him be for once,” I grumbled, dragging a paw over my face and stretching it out. “That kid has been through too much, especially with his detailed history in that…‘journal’ I found.”

The haunting images of Alex’s anguish caused my toes to shiver, a lone journal appearing as I snapped my fingers. And as I looked at the black-and-white diary, I couldn’t help but continue to recite those passages through my brainwaves.

The catastrophic injury, the deaths, and even the personal trauma he caused to himself, my mind thought in horror. Perhaps I don’t know this human all too well. I shook my head and sighed.

“Always full of surprises…even if the personal accounts are downright terrifying to read. Hmmm,” I puzzled before nodding to myself.

“They need to know. And maybe...just maybe…they’ll realize who Alex really is.”

========================================<>========================================

poof!

“Oof,” I grunted as we touched down on the uneven ground. I shivered as the cold immediately greeted us, the environment making its presence known.

shiver! “W-Well, we’re here at least,” Luna coldly said before gasping. Her two-toned blue eyes fixated upon something in the distance, which I traced with my eyes before holding my breath.

Down the path and through the misty fog, we saw the large gates of Tartarus. But they weren’t closed like they should have been. Instead, they were separated from their hinges and thrown aside, digging into the dirt and collapsing against the mountainside.

“Shifting, look!” Luna whispered loudly. “Up there.” The alicorn pointed with her hoof to the enormous rocky spire above it, finally allowing me to get a glimpse of the silhouette climbing it.

“Th-That’s gotta be him,” I whispered back to Luna. She nodded to herself as she charged her horn, my eyes widening in disbelief. “Wh-What are you doing?”

“Getting us as close as we possibly can,” Luna affirmed. “Charge an attack and release it on my command. I’ll distract him. Go!” The lunar alicorn unfurled her wings and grabbed my hoof. I closed my eyes tightly as the silent pop! marked our teleportation to the human’s position.

========================================<>========================================

Let’s hurry this up. No telling how long we have until night truly falls, the right side of my brain pressured. Come on, get to climbing!

I looked up into the sky as the world began to get darker. Nighttime had arrived earlier than expected, but that could be the consequence of staying too long in Tartarus. After all, I had planned to be in there for at most 15 minutes, and it ended up being thrice that length.

At least we have mental sanity now, the left side pouted.

“That much we don’t know. As far as I know about you, you could have run out of it by now….”

Yeah, I’m totally insane, my thoughts sneered quietly. I’ve been in pony hell and have met demonic creatures from their version of the underworld. What’s next? A powerful beam of energy destroys half of my essential organs, resulting in me ACTUALLY ending up in the afterlife?

“Alex, watch out!” my watch suddenly shouted. I jumped up instinctively, my arm hairs prickling as a wave of energy shot and collided with the rocks below me. Slinging myself upward, I looked back momentarily and grew a puzzled look.

“Where did the blast com-”

poof!

“Shit!” I exclaimed in fright, forcing my upper body to duck. The magic blast shot over my head, decapitating the second-tallest spire to my left. As I hung onto the side of the mountain, I looked down and saw a certain unicorn Commander readying his horn.

Luna’s the diversion, I immediately realized as I looked up into the night sky. Princess Luna circled overhead as she prepared to release another bolt of magic. It rocketed toward me as I jumped off the rocky edge, flicking my wrist upward to latch onto it again.

While I glanced briefly toward the ground, I noticed Shifting kept his eyes trained on me. I envisioned where his potential blast of magic would go and prayed that it would be anywhere but above me. But, as I neared the top of the tallest spire of the Tartarus mountaintop, Luna’s Royal Canterlot Voice echoed through the air.

“ALEX!! STAY PUT!!” Luna pleaded thunderously. “Don’t make US do this!”

“Again, what choice do I have besides death, Luna?!” I countered angrily toward the alicorn. I pulled myself toward the rock and clambered up the side hastily like a panther. As I sprinted upward and reached the peak, I used every bit of my leg strength to jump high into the air, stretching my frame out into a star.

BAM!!

Then, I quickly curled up into a ball as the blast from Commander Shifting destroyed the top portion of the Tartarus mountain. Chunks of blasted rocks scattered through the dusty landscape and air, potentially blocking the immortal royals’ visions and buying me extra time.

Just a few more seconds, my mind thought as I readied the watch again. Taking a deep breath, I relaxed my shoulder muscles and whispered toward the screen.

“Go tiny, Mikey,” I commanded. “Ant-like tiny….”

“Prepare for particle displacement,” it answered as I closed my eyes and exhaled. Another second passed before the watch began to cloak my skin in a gooey texture. Next thing I knew….

whoosh!

========================================<>========================================

Bam!

I glanced away as the charged attack from my horn shot out toward the human’s location. His body flung upward before disappearing through the ash and smoke, my eyes unable to trace where Alexander could have exactly gone.

Luckily, this is why Luna was positioned in the sky, my mind smartly thought. So she would have a better vantage point to see where Alex would disappear to. As Luna slowly returned toward me, I huffed in relief as she touched down, curling her wings back toward her body.

“Anything?” I asked lightly. Luna looked at me and shook her head, causing my mind to slowly fade into disappointment. “He d-didn’t stop…a-at all?”

“It seems as though Alex has vanished once again,” Luna admitted as she bit her lip. “I saw that fierce fire behind his eyes when he shouted back at me. Alex will not quit. Whatever happened between the last time I saw him and up until now has truly affected him while reinforcing that mindset of his.”

My hoof came up to my forehead as I winced in pain. The overloaded bolstering of magic stored up took a toll on my horn, and the radiating pain continuously spread throughout my head. Luna must have sensed this as she grabbed my hoof and pulled me close.

“Take it easy, dear,” Luna soothingly said. “Let’s go back home and figure this out.” As I nodded in agreement, a portal appeared out of nowhere. Luna and I looked at each other with stunned expressions before seeing the throne room scenery behind it.

Finally, after hopping through the portal, we were back in the throne room of Canterlot Castle.

========================================<>========================================

sigh “Thank the stars,” Emperor Nacreous sighed heavily. “Discord told me everything….”

“You’re welcome, by the way,” the draconequus’s voice sounded out, making me shake my head with a small chuckle. Luna patted my shoulder and leaned in, kissing me softly on the temple. As if it were magic itself, my head felt much better, and I warmly smiled at Luna.

“And safe to say, you are looking better already,” Nacreous commented, chuckling as I peered at him. The hippogriff was sitting at the base of stairs awaiting us, our slow trot over to him easing the atmosphere.

“Thank you, Nacreous,” Luna humbly replied. “I knew our magic could bring us back, seeing as we pulled all our punches.” I nodded as the big hippogriff stood up, shaking himself a bit before addressing the topic.

“Yes, of course,” Nacreous said. “Be wary of your health, mentally AND physically. However, you don’t need me to tell you that.”

chuckle “You’re the doc, doc,” I chuckled, causing Luna to giggle in delight. The room’s atmosphere returned to its usual somber mood, the nightly sky having dimmed it majorly.

“Well, I must be off to bed,” Nacreous sadly commented. sigh “It appears I may need to revisit Celestia tonight in the dream world, considering her mental state has waned again….”

“How…is my sister, Nacreous?” Luna asked, causing the hippogriff to shake his head somberly.

“Worse….” His one-worded reply stung hard, the world suddenly going cold. I didn’t reply, not wanting to contribute to the conversation. I looked over to Luna and noticed her nervously shivering, which motioned me to go over to her and bring her in for a soft hug.

“Well, how about some good news then?” Discord said out of nowhere, a loud poof! signaling his presence. The draconequss’s frame now sported a lavishly buttoned sports coat, a clean hat atop his head as he grinned. “Nacreous, you may be surprised to learn that-”

“You found Alex’s dimension through a rift in the space-time continuum?” Nacreous cheekily replied. The hippogriff’s smug expression signaled he already knew. Grant it, we told him earlier.

Discord’s mouth hung open as he tried to formulate words, but they took a little while to come out. “H-H-How?” the draconequus asked with shock. “Th-There’s n-n-no way….”

chuckle “I know you all too well, my friend,” Nacreous warmly said, a smile adorning his face. “But, please. Tell me about it since you already told Luna and Shifting.” Discord’s head turned to us as we did our best not to look so obvious.

“D-Did you two…?” the draconequus started to ask. Discord’s tone was borderline annoyed, a smirk coming across Luna’s face as I held in a laugh. A loud huff! from Discord caused it to explode slightly, a stifled redness coming to my cheeks.

“Nevermind,” Discord waved off, looking back at the immortal hippogriff. “So now, I have more information regarding our little human and his innocuous past.”

“Oh? Do we now?” Nacreous asked curiously, a talon coming to his chin.

“Indeed, and…” Discord paused, his tone shifting to being more morbid, “...it’s worse than we could’ve ever imagined.” My head turned to look at Discord in confusion, as did Luna. The alicorn’s breath was taken away from that statement as she brought a hoof over her mouth.

gasp! “Worse than…?” Luna said with astonishment. Discord’s eyes told everything, a tear beginning to form as he slowly walked toward the throne’s staircase. The three of us followed as the draconequus sat down, his fur sinking upon his skin.

“Worse than what Alex had let on…and none of you are prepared to hear it.”

========================================<>========================================

“So, in this journal I found,” Discord began to tell us, “Alex details everything that has happened to him since he started going to high school. It starts out like your prototypical diary, with clear positivity and optimism for the future. Some stuff may seem weird during those early days, but they are replaced by feelings of assured hope that things will turn out right.”

Luna, Shifting, and I sat down as Discord snapped his fingers, making a makeshift journal appear from nowhere. I squinted at the darkly hollow cover, faintly seeing the name ‘King Alex #14’ scribbled on the front.

ahem! “Allow me to begin from the first domino,” Discord read. “November 2nd, Freshman Year. God is definitely good. After waiting the entire weekend for the results of those three-day tryouts, I was selected to make the Varsity team as the only freshman. A coach had pulled me aside during the school day and said to me that ‘they were excited to help develop me and that my enthusiasm to play tough and work hard convinced them to pick me for the squad.”

“This is a month later now,” Discord then said. “My first game as a ‘Marooner…’” snort! “Sorry.” ahem! “My first game as a ‘Marooner’ was great. Shot 8/11 from the field, coming off the bench, was 3 for 5 from behind the arc, and made a few free throws. A debut game with more than 20 points felt great, but it doesn’t feel…superb. I need to work harder and improve if I want to get more minutes. I’m even getting good looks, which is awesome, but it’s…not enough.”

This is where Alex’s mentality starts to take shape, I thought to myself. Alex feels the drive, and this shows the start of it. I looked up as Discord began skipping ahead in the journal. I raised a talon in protest, but the draconequus waved it off as he landed on another page.

“This is where he got his first ‘start,’” Discord announced before clearing his throat. “Got word before the game. I’m starting tonight! Hell yeah! This is what I’ve been waiting for! And now, I have my chance. I’m wishing my future self so much luck out there!”

Discord shook his head as he flipped the page, the distress in his eyes signaling something ma-

“There’s some news that should be told, but others that should remain hidden,” Discord solemnly stated. “Last night…how I felt…it’s one of those hidden moments I want to share. In my eyes, I wasn’t great. Not even good. I was…‘terrible.’ I made 9/23 of my shots from the field, was 5/8 from the free throw line…and?” sigh “1/7 from three-point land.”

Luna and Shifting both slumped as I let out a deep exhale. But something bugged me as Discord took a shaky breath. Wasn’t this his first year? I questioned my mind. He’s considered ‘new.’ It’s his first ‘start.’ Why does Alex believe this game was terrible for him?

“To be honest, I fucking sucked,” Discord read aloud. “It wasn’t my best game. Being the fourth game of the season, I know I fucking sucked this game. I don’t care about the 24 points or how I made my presence known on defense with 7 rebounds, 6 steals, and 2 blocks. I should’ve made more threes. I’m so…disappointed in my performance. This will ‘never’ happen again.”

Discord didn’t say anything as he skipped more pages. His eyes lit up as he slowly smiled, flipping the journal around for us to look at. We all leaned forward to see a familiar image of a younger Alexander Walkerson. Only this time, this skinny teen was pictured lifting the State Championship trophy over his head with an open mouth.

“The State Champs!” Discord exclaimed in what felt like Alex’s voice. `“I got the MVP for the match! Honestly, I feel really great right now! Never felt better! Maybe this whole basketball thing will be something I can make a living from. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make the pros and play in the NBA one day. Going head-to-head with the best basketball players in the world. But, for now, that’s one season down. Time to get ready for the next, starting tomorrow morning! Wish me luck! Signed, AW.”`

I smiled as I glanced at Princess Luna and Commander Shifting beside me. “Well, what do you know?” I began saying to the pair. “Alex’s freshman year did indeed end on a happy note.”

“That’s where the happiness ends….” My head turned fast to look at Discord as he held the book toward us. Then, his claws let the book’s pages unravel, numerous pages flipping with a ton of wording scrawled across them. However, as the pages rolled by, something else joined them.

A new color was added to the worn-out pages of the human’s journal. A grimly dark color that signifies something went wrong.

Red. More specifically…blood red.

=================================<>=================================

sigh “When I found these sections in his sophomore year experience, it’s…disturbing to say out loud,” Discord admitted shamefully. “I don’t want to go into detail, but…Alex describes the act of…‘cutting’ himself often. I believe…that’s his blood, and as the journal gets past the second championship, it begins happening more through the so-called ‘offseason.’”

gasp! “A-A-Alex did…d-did he…?” Luna stuttered as Shifting continued to hug her closely. The alicorn’s breathing quickened, a few tears coming to her eyes. “N-Noo….”

I didn’t say anything as my head slumped forward, remembering my conversation with Alex about his arms last year. He said it was an ‘accident’ from his adult life, but I knew he wasn’t telling the truth, my mind concluded. I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling. Alex? Don’t. Don’t…have it written in there….

Discord didn’t say anything as he turned the book toward himself. As he stopped on a specific page, the draconequus shuddered before continuing. “S-So,” Discord began to say shakily, “I tried it…I attempted it…I stole a razor blade from my brother’s cabinet and…put it in my arm. It hit the blood vessel between my elbow…and the pain. The pain started immediately…the blood soaking the metal blade instantly. I bit my lip hard as it continued to hurt, with those repeated lines going through my mind.”

I put a claw up to try and stop the draconequus, but he looked at me and shook his head. “You should hear this…in his own words,” Discord frustratingly said before returning to the text. “Sometimes, life doesn’t go as planned. People bring you down, and so…what do you do? Tell them off? Fight back? Leave and escape to the woods, becoming…alone? For me…I couldn’t. I wanted…to give up hope. I wanted…to slowly end it. The blood poured onto the floor as I began to scream in frustration. Someone was home…m-my…br-brother….”

Discord turned his head away and skipped ahead again. As I looked over to the other two immortal creatures, Commander Shifting hugged Princess Luna tightly. The younger alicorn was sobbing, with her special unicorn stroking her mane with his free hoof. I sat there silently as Discord continued.

“I did it again…a third time,” Discord relayed, his eyes brimming with tears as he turned a few pages. “Wher-aha! There it is. Found you….”

I brought my head up slowly and exhaled. “Discord, please. No more,” I said. “It’s beginning to get more and more painful to hear….”

“After months in rehab and re-evaluating my life, it clicked,” Discord mentioned, causing my ears to perk. “Something. Finally. Clicked. My mind told itself, ‘Hey. Why are we worrying about one incident? Why let one event make you want to kill yourself? Don’t you see, Alex?’”

Discord looked up and slowly smiled. “It ain’t all that bad. I can forge a new path for my life. I can do something else if I want to. I have the talent for other things. I have the work ethic to go after it. It doesn’t ‘have’ to end like this. I know that it ‘will not’ end like this.”

“I will…persevere!” Discord then closed the book after that final line and snapped his fingers, causing the book to dissipate into the air.

========================================<>========================================

The throne room was quiet. My heart pounded slowly in my chest as I took a deep breath. I attempted to find a resolution, but Discord knew what I wanted to say.

“Emperor Nacreous…Commander Shifting…Princess Luna,” the draconequus softly spoke. “You all have given Alex everything you could have, but I think the biggest was control. You allowed him to not be governed. You understood that Alex couldn’t be bought, nor could he be told to stop. Alex was allowed to be reasonably reasonable with ‘your’ consent.”

Luna’s shuddering continued as the two slowly sat back up. I shook my head and closed my eyes before exhaling. sigh “Discord….”

“With all due respect, Emperor, please,” Discord huffed. “When Alex set his mind to something, it happened because that’s who he is. He has a moral code, an honor code, and his choices decide his future. Alex does everything by these systems and has lived by them for the past…what? Decade? Mind you that is also including his time here, in Equestria….”

We said nothing as Discord’s shoulders sagged. He let out a deep exhale before bringing his right paw up. “Maybe, just maybe, this can serve as a final warning,” Discord ominously said. “I can’t intervene but can aid from the sidelines. I’ve done what I could and will keep monitoring Alex from afar. But, until the day his ‘prophecy’ comes true, hopefully, that will knock some sense into you all and make you listen to him for once. After all, what’s his favorite saying, Nacreous?”

sigh “Hearing and listening are two different words. But, they are similar in what they use….”

“Our ears,” Luna and Commander Shifting shuddered simultaneously.

snap!

========================================<>========================================

hiss “Oww. My head,” I hissed. “I really need some rest tonight.” As I walked through the silent halls of Canterlot Castle, my headache pulsated harder. Finally, I got to the bedroom door belonging to my special somepony and me, reaching for the door handle and turning it quietly.

creeeak

Once inside, I turned around and closed it. The soft click! indicated we were good, turning the locks to the right twice. As I took another deep breath and exhaled through my nostrils, I turned around and looked toward the bed.

The beautiful, slumbering alicorn was far off into her dream but was also slightly twitching every now and then. I sighed as I lifted my beak, shaking my frame to soothe my nerves. Moving for the bed, I reached for the covers and pulled them over Celestia’s body, ensuring she was comfortable underneath the thickly warm blankets.

As I rounded the bed frame, I made it to my side and hopped onto the bed. Taking a second to feel out the mattress, I laid down and snuggled close to my special marefriend, wrapping my arms around the alicorn’s soft midsection. Celestia’s wings remained firmly at her sides, allowing our fur to press and rub against each other.

Celestia’s warmth was comparable to the setting sun, sinking below the horizon and clocking out for the night. As I lay there, a quiet exhale exited my beak, and my head began to rest against the pillow. Finally, my thoughts rang out. We can rest for the night….

“...”

And yet…as the minutes slowly ticked away, I found it…challenging to sleep. My mind continued to process everything I had learned so far from that cursed journal, and carrying that knowledge of how Alex truly felt continued to ache my head.

The headache never disappeared, no matter how hard I tried to let it go. It stayed with me, hexing me with containing the knowledge of this new information learned.

I never knew he had attempted to kill himself…let alone three separate times! my mind shouted. My beak gritted in frustration as I tightly hugged the alicorn next to me. Alex never told me…‘us.’ He never told US!! Is he…afraid…?

I got up and gripped my head with a talon. After what felt like a minute, I shook my head and went back to sleep. My face bore a fierce expression as I slowly entered the world of dreams….

“...”

This will need to be addressed soon, my mind intrusively thought. Alex needs to explain this to me. I’m going to search for him tomorrow, and he will tell me more about this ‘secured past’ of his. And I won’t longer allow Alex to suffer from his negative thoughts.

But that determined expression vanished from my face as that thought flipped on its head.

After all, Alex can’t run away from it forever…can he?