Night in Crystal City

I found myself at her door again just like I told myself I wouldn't, at least not until next payday. It wasn't like she had a schedule set in stone but her placard was down which basically meant she was 'off.' She always made exceptions for me though.

I knocked respectfully but the door swung open before I could even finish as if Pinkie had been standing there with her hoof on the handle.

"Look who's back," she grinned. She leaned against the door frame, casually blocking its entirety, her smile widening in anticipation. "So, where you taking me?"

At first I was confused. Panicking that I was failing to meet some important expectation, I began parsing through her words and recalling recent conversations to piece together the message I'd missed. Then it hit me. Oh, shit. I forgot she wanted me to take her to dinner. I guess she was serious about that… even though I still paid her last time.

She waited expectantly for my reply, her expression never faltering but instead waxing, bordering on manic. I wouldn't dare to disappoint her.

"It's a surprise," I smiled. That should buy me some time to think, though it kind of raises the bar.

Pinkie leaned in close, her saucer eyes drilling into mine at just past the tip of my muzzle. "I love surprises!" she shrieked.

"I thought so," I nodded measuredly.

She closed her door and bounced over next to me. We walked down the stairs and I wracked my brain to come up with a serviceable eating venue for a couple of underclass ponies in Crystal City.

Cadance and I used to go to this one park sometimes when we just wanted to get out of the tower for an hour. It overlooks the train yard at one end and It used to have all these little restaurants and bistros in it. I knew, like everything else, that it was a shadow of its former self but I took Pinkie there.

To my dismay, much of the park land looked like it was in the process of being developed into warehouses and roughly eighty percent of the restaurants were closed or demolished for new industrial construction. We ended up at some greasy spoon that mostly saw warehouse and train yard workers.

"I'm sorry,” I groaned as we walked with our orders to a nearby bench lining the park path. “It's even worse than the last time I was here. This is like a junior high date. We went to a hole in the wall burger place and can't stay out past curfew. The only thing missing is an annoying chaperone… Oh, wait, there he is." I cocked my head toward the guard posted at the corner near a rash of dark crystals.

"You're right," Pinkie giggled, opening her takeout bag. "But don't be sad. I wasn't expecting you to sneak us into the Platinum Sector or anything. It's the best we can do with what we have and it's just nice to do something like this sometimes, don't you think?"

"You're right," I agreed. "I can't even remember the last time I tried to have wholesome platonic fun with somepony." I took a bite of my levitating hay burger and gazed down into the train yard. We sat before a railing at an abrupt edge where a dozen parallel train tracks went through an array of tunnels burrowing through the earth just beneath us.

I looked back at Pinkie. She wasn't wolfing down her food as she usually did. Instead she took modest bites with long pauses in between. For a moment I was worried because it was so unlike her but then I realized she was just pacing herself to my speed to help make the outing last. She gazed wistfully at the burger in her hooves and then spoke absently in a low voice.

“I don’t know how it was for you but back then I used to do stuff like this all the time with friends. It wasn’t like it wasn’t special but I guess I just… took it for granted at the time. Now it’s pretty amazing if I can do something like this. It’s really hard to make friends here, even for me. I mean, I have all the other girls on the corner but that’s about it. Everyone else is scary or angry. Real smiles don't come easy like they used to.

“Yeah,” I breathed. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Suddenly there came a loud crash sounding like nearby thunder.

Startled, the two of us jerked, looking back to the train yard.

"What was that?" asked Pinkie, wide-eyed.

"Oh, they're just coupling the cars," I explained, tossing a fry in my mouth.

"Wow, that's loud," she smiled.

In turn I smiled weakly at her reaction. We slowly finished our meal to the sound of intermittent thunderous booms I could almost feel in the air.

After finishing, we promptly slid off of the bench and meandered away, not wanting to risk harassment.

Pinkie playfully nudged her side into mine, making me wobble off balance. "Thanks, Moony; that was fun. Now what?"

Pinkie sighed with finality and collapsed on top of me, nuzzling into the space under my chin, her hot rhythmic breath tickling my chest. I kept my hooves glued to her robust earth pony flanks as our bodies heaved slowly together.

"How much do I owe you?" she panted.

"You're funny," I droned, getting lost in the ceiling cracks again and melting into a post release stupor. "You did most of the work."

"Doesn't mean I didn't have more fun," she mumbled. She lazily swung her foreleg over the side of the bed and tapped her hoof on the floor to summon her alligator. "Here, Gummy. You can peek now." She flipped off his little blindfold and settled back into my chest.

I blew air into her poofy pink mane, making it ripple and then floated a stack of bits from my satchel on the table.

"Shining, no," Pinkie cried, suddenly grabbing my horn. The bits clattered to the floor as I lost concentration and was forced to look her in the eyes. A tear streamed down her cheek and dripped silently into the fur of my chest.

"Don't you get it? I don't want you to pay me anymore. I just… want you to be with me. I just want one nice thing in my life that's not weird or gross or dangerous."

"What do you mean?" I offered, feebly trying to stave off the conversation I knew was coming.

Pinkie shook her head doubtfully at my ploy. "Maybe you don't know this but I don't let anyone else pay afterwords or run a tab. I don't let anyone else stay the night. I don't make breakfast for anyone else. You can't tell me you don't feel the same, that you're only here for the lay. Why did you stop seeing other girls? How come I see you twice as much as anypony else? You're probably going broke coming over here as much as you do. How come you care what I think? How come you care if I get off?"

I placed a hoof over her mouth and stared fearfully into her. I felt cornered. Keeping our relationship transactional was my foolhardy attempt to stay emotionally detached from her. I was terrified to love again in a world like this but at the same time I needed it now more than ever. Living empty and spiteful the way that I had was poison.

Her words prompted me to ask the same question I'd been asking myself for weeks.

"Pinkie, do we actually like each other or are we just drowning and the only thing we have to hold onto is each other?"

I slowly withdrew my hoof and allowed her to continue but she paused, thinking carefully on my words. "Does it matter? Why wouldn't you just hold on now and ask that question again someday when we're not drowning?"

I didn't know what to make of her undying hope and I had no idea if a day like that would ever come but she was right about one thing: when you're drowning, you don't think about tomorrow.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my forelegs around her, clutching her head to my chest and then running my hoof slowly through her mane, worried and relieved, elated and sick.

Pinkie sighed dreamily as she drifted off to sleep. "You're my most biggest project, Shiny," she mumbled. "One day I'll make you laugh again; stick a cupcake… in my eye."