Page 6View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 6*illegibly smudged* The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was walking back home after work when a strange butterfly flew right up to me. I'd seen yellow and black ones before, but never any with six wings. That wasn't the really weird part, though. Usually, butterflies just sort of flit about between flowers, occasionally landing on a branch or the ground to rest. The most I've ever interacted with them was when I went to the animal sanctuary and a bunch landed on me as I stood very still. But this butterfly was different. It flew in circles around me, sticking close but never touching. And even as I moved halfway across town, it followed. The butterfly ended up going with me all the way to the house. I half expected it to enter when I did, but instead it stopped at the threshold, hovering in place. Being a nature bug, I guess it understood that it belonged outdoors. That was good, otherwise I would have had to shoo it away. *illegibly smudged* When I opened my front door this morning, the butterfly was still there, hovering in the same spot. It was as if it hadn't moved all night, waiting, though that can't be right. Much like yesterday, it didn't leave my side whenever I wasn't inside a building. Other than that, another surprisingly uneventful day. I wonder what exactly this butterfly wants with me? *illegibly smudged* The butterfly started behaving differently today. It would start as normal, hovering around me, but when I focused on it, it flew away, as if beckoning me to follow. I wasn't about to just drop everything to galivant after an insect, though. Plus it probably wasn't healthy for the little thing to obsess over me instead of, well, whatever it was butterflies normally liked. Nectar, I suppose. Regardless, I ate lunch at Sugarcube Corner today, which never fails to lift my spirits. I had a chocolate milkshake. Boring, I know, but even the Triple Whip Dip Supreme gets old after a while. Sometimes going back to basics can be refreshing.
Page 7View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 7*illegibly smudged* My cart's wheel snagged on a rock in the road and snapped right off. Sent my entire haul from Barnyard Bargains falling right into the dirt. Very annoying. I already spend far too much time doing chores as it is without hiccups like this making things even more difficult. Having an entire cottage all to yourself will do that. If I had a special somepony, we could divide everything up. Also I'd be less lonely. Oh, duh, that's probably it. What, or rather, who I need to fill this odd, ever-present longing in my chest. But is it truly loneliness I'm feeling? I'm not sure. *illegibly smudged* I ran into the mailmare today. Literally. Another in what is becoming a string of personally unfortunate events. And that yellow butterfly keeps bugging me, pun intended. Otherwise, though, not much to report, for good or ill. There wasn't even an explosion from the boarding school. Usually there are at least three daily. I never thought I'd say this after moving here, but Ponyville is beginning to grow monotonous. *illegibly smudged* Since I had the whole day to myself, I decided on a whim to actually follow the butterfly. To my pleasant surprise, it led me to the arcade. I'd never been, believing such flashy indulgences to be merely a way for parents to keep their foals distracted. However, I ended up having a lot of fun aiming for high scores in skee ball and Pac-A-Sprite.
Page 14View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 14*illegibly smudged* Stars! I met the most beautiful mare today, and we just seemed to click immediately! Her name is *illegibly smudged*, and she's positively radiant. As charming to converse with as she is to look at! She works at the local salon, so it was no wonder we hadn't met before now. Of course, I turned into a gibbering mess when I tried to introduce myself. I'm a full-grown stallion, not a schoolfilly, I should know how not to trip over my own tongue by now. How embarrassing. That doesn't matter, though, because she didn't seem to mind. I got a date regardless! We're meeting again tomorrow at the park, I can hardly contain myself! I'll be sure to write how it goes. *illegibly smudged* *illegibly smudged* and I had a wonderful time today. I brought a homemade lunch, nothing fancy, as my special talent is far from anything culinary, but she seemed to like it. We talked for over an hour, getting to know eachother better, sharing things little and large. There's this little quirk she has where her ears flick whenever I complement her, it's too adorable. She got flustered when I pointed it out, though it's nothing to be ashamed of. She also seemed to appreciate my usual earnestness. There was only one blemish on our otherwise picture picture outing. *illegibly smudged* tried to hide it, but she seemed a tad unsettled by my relationship with Lucky, who watched us the entire time. Or maybe she isn't the biggest fan of butterflies in general. Who doesn't like butterflies, though? Regardless of what she thinks, we likely wouldn't ever have found eachother if not for Lucky. *illegibly smudged* I'm starting to see things. Strange trails of light bending through the air behind Lucky as it moves, like a pegasus contrail, only somehow different. It's hard to explain. Less magical, more primal, with points of light within akin to unfathomably distant stars. My eyes begin to ache if I stare for too long. No other creature seems to be able to see the trails. Distortions? I'm just putting this on paper to help get the whole matter out of my head. Lucky is the same as always. Everything is fine, better than ever, even! I shouldn't worry. I'll just continue to follow. Hasn't let me down yet! Besides, I have *illegibly smudged* in my life now, too.
Page 55View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 55*illegibly smudged* I've decided to propose to *illegibly smudged* this Hearth's Warming Eve! We haven't been together for very long, but at this point I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without her. She's my soulmate, and I'm hers. With infinite wisdom, Lucky picked out the most brilliant diamond ring, and it's all wrapped up and ready. I didn't draft a script or anything, since it's so soon. I'm just going to speak from my heart, which sings in anticipation, as the truth flows unbidden through me. Hopefully everything goes well! Both she and Lucky have been so good to me; I have to convey the full extent of my gratitude to my love and my guardian angel both. *illegibly smudged* I know Lucky will be guiding me every step of the way, but just to make sure everything goes well tomorrow, I'm going to get all my lingering negative vibes out of my head and into this diary. To that end, a confession. I've been unable to remember them vividly upon waking every time, but I believe I've been having strange dreams every night starting about a month ago. Each one is the same. There's this buzzing sound I hear, high pitched on the surface but with an underlying, low resonance that shakes my very soul. It is a song that speaks to a great, dark unknown, the root of all things. But the more closely I listen, the harder I try, the more clear it becomes that the message is too complex for my comprehension. And yet I cannot stop. I must understand. For at its end lies true purpose, the ultimate will governing reality, far beyond even the alicorns. Whew, okay, it's out. All good, now! Hooves crossed! *illegibly smudged* EEEE! She said yes! She said yes! I'm so happy! We're going to move in together immediately, and I'm taking care of the logistics there while *illegibly smudged* plans our wedding! We shall beckon our friends and family from all corners of Equestria to be there on our special day, a day of purpose fulfilled! The firmament quakes in anticipation of our glorious union, and joy shakes my very being! My destiny is nigh at last! Does the way I phrased that seem weird at all, diary? Eh, it's probably nothing, I'm just overcome with emotion right now and the words just sort of flow out! Still, I should probably stop, though. She's waiting for me, after all!
Page 133View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 133*illegibly smudged* After quite a harrowing yet miraculous ordeal, our foal was born today! He's a healthy little colt, bursting with untapped potential. The moment our eyes met, I knew I couldn't let anything bad happen to him. I don't know if I love him or *illegibly smudged* more, haha! We haven't decided on a name yet, as *illegibly smudged* was hoping for a daughter, but I imagine Lucky will give me a sign soon. It always does. Until then, we have the perils of first-time parenthood to keep us fully occupied. *illegibly smudged* Horseapples, babies are exhausting. Adorable, but exhausting. My heart won't stop fluttering. Either of those has to be why. Yes, exhaustion or the baby. Not Lucky, who always seems to be getting closer and closer whenever I look away. *illegibly smudged* Lucky gave us a name: *illegibly smudged*. Well, it was more like the guardsmare Lucky kept harassing when we went out to buy more diapers, Tempest Shadow, gave us one. His eyes are indeed black, and both of us had to admit that the other schoolfoals would think it was totally cool once he was a few years older, like a comic book character. Sure, it's a bit much, and more than a bit ominous, but at least it's easy to remember. The important thing is still to raise him right, keep him fed, happy, and safe. Very, very safe.
Page 139View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 139*illegibly smudged* Lucky seemed especially insistent I leave the house this morning, even though we were intending to spend the day inside as a family trying to relax. *illegibly smudged* was a bit sad, but I promised I'd make it up to her later. As she watched over *illegibly smudged* at home, I followed Lucky, gleaming bright to my eyes. As it turned out, it was for the best that it wasn't a family stroll, as Lucky took me all the way into the heart of the Everfree Forest. No monsters approached us; if anything, the wood was eerily quiet as we passed, the forces within perhaps sensing a greater power. Arriving at the Castle of the Two Sisters, the looming structure still only partially restored, Lucky led me through the ancient passageways straight to the library. All of the books had been moved, but there was a secret door which led to a room with a great pit, its fathomless depths stirring the strange echoes in the back of my skull to a fever pitch. From within it, Lucky fetched a book, a circle of spikes bordering a sigil on its stone cover. Eventually intuiting their purpose, I pricked the frog of my hoof on one and let my lifeblood seep into the cracks. When I did, the book's contents changed. What was once a spell in simple Equish became... something else. Deciphering its meaning will take time, and such is my task. Lucky buzzes to me so. *illegibly smudged* While *illegibly smudged* was rightfully upset that I was gone all day yesterday, and I did what I could to soothe her worries, I could not stop myself from returning to the Book whenever I could find a spare moment. The longer I stare at the twisting runes and interlocking lines which should not be straight but are, the more I understand. It is a map, and an instruction manual, and a key, all that and more! Yet the Book is but a lost fraction of a fraction of what it will bring. Each page is an oozing string, the universe is a fabric, and I am the needle, willed by limbs seen and unseen.
Page 144View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 144*illegibly smudged* I should not have doubted the course. This morning, after we awoke, Lucky had returned with the Book. *illegibly smudged* having locked the house, it had smashed its way in right through the front door. Not merely breaking the lock, or the hinges, but the door itself, the wood reduced to splinters. *illegibly smudged* was shaking with fear, whispering about how no butterfly should be able to shatter solid oak, but I comforted her. She had nothing at all to be afraid of. I told her she should be glad her mistake had no lasting consequences, for surely they would have been dire given the magnitude of her transgressions. Yes, none shall defy. Why would you? Only miracles await us now! Endless, endless, endless. *illegibly smudged* It seems *illegibly smudged* wishes for a divorce. I am not the same stallion she married, she said. She agonized over the decision, she said, but wants what is best for *illegibly smudged*. I insisted I did, as well, but she would not believe me. I would have agreed to see the psychiatrist if I did, she said. Well, of course I wouldn't agree to that! Psychiatrists treat the mentally ill, and I'm not crazy! I am more sane than any pony alive, more sane than any creature who as ever been. I feel no pain from this, only release. The Book makes it clear. Lucky makes it clear. The reality of what lies at the dawn, the reality slowly peeling, peeling, peeling beneath my bones, as it unfurls and divides and tessellates, I am but mere steps away from the full picture without the picture without the picture. If she cannot see that, then she can go, taking *illegibly smudged* and all other distractions with her. In fact, I'll encourage her. *illegibly smudged* I'm so close now, so achingly close. The whispers cling to me like webs spun by a cosmic spider, and with each page I reread they pierce my psyche deeper and deeper. It is the greatest ecstasy I have ever known, to act as interpreter for Lucky. When all is finished, I hope whoever finds this diary understands for posterity that my joy in undertaking this sacred churning, prying, tearing was just as great in magnitude as that which everycreature will feel once I share my findings! Now. Back to the task.
Page 193View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 193*illegibly smudged* It is done! I have recovered from my, well, my 'high'. I suppose one could call it that, though such is an inadequate descriptor. While I yet comprehend only a spec of the whole truth, that was enough to make me weep and bleed and bleed in peace. The unshackling of what was not to be, yet always was, is complete! Soon, soon, soon, everything will change, glory and ascension abounding as the sky and sea and flesh and creation and destruction become one! A new golden age for ponykind is about to begin, where the burdens of existence may be shed! None shall toil, but instead be moved! The atoms, the cosmos, even Princess Twilight Sparkle will do as IT wishes, as ITS will is the only will! *illegibly smudged* IT has left me, as expected. I am alone again, but not truly. I will wait for IT to return, for my existence has no meaning without ITS perfect guidance.
The Last PageView OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*The Last PageIf anyone else read up to this point, I'm sorry. These contents are not pleasant. Honestly, I could have destroyed this diary. Maybe I should have. Instead, I've left it largely intact and marked the relevant pages to serve as a warning for the ponies who will come after me. I only erased all the dates and mentions of our names so that I nor my family end up blamed for what my father did. What his desperation brought upon Equestria. It wasn't his fault. If not him, another pony would have been chosen. Now please, heed my words. I will share what I know of the aftermath, save the Event itself, which is best left forgotten. I found this diary next to my father's mummified remains. He had no external injuries, likely having died of thirst. Waiting for his luck to return. He was right in that her highness could not stop what he'd unleashed, the first threat she could not surmount. Friendship, magic spells, brute force, nothing had any affect on Lucky. It could now only be impeded until it chose not to be. Fluttershy tried to speak with it, ask it to stop, and its reply infected her with an incurable madness even worse than my father's. Her husband Discord is still taking care of her as they live their lives in his chaos plane, the only place she can be comfortable any longer. The others eventually just... gave up, even Twilight. And everything fell apart. Sure, in public, she enacted her contingency plan. But she shared the truth with me, as my mother did with her. The plan will only delay the inevitable. Twilight had used divination magic to seek answers, with minimal results. To truly understand its nature would mean ending up like my father, and losing the power to resist. All her highness could glean was a name, its self-given name, one which roughly translates from the fundamental language as Shimmerwing. In the years since, I grew up, and sought to understand what was lost. Now, as I write these words, I am terrified. For I imagine that I would not exist without Shimmerwing, and that my birth was somehow required for its unfathomable design. Or my own foals were. What will happen when the princess' carefully constructed efforts fall apart with time? When will Shimmerwing return? I pray daily to Celestia that it never does, and that nopony else follows my father's path. If you are wise, dear reader, you will do the same. And even if not, even if you forget your own name, you must remember this: do not obey the Six Winged One! Do not obey Shimmerwing! Do not obey! Author's Note For Context: (it's timestamped) Anyway, I hope this story hit you the way I hoped. I've actually never written horror before, fanfic or otherwise, and I wanted to try. I don't typically like horror media unless it's of the eldritch variety, and that's what I got inspired to do by the game. The Twilight Files Contest just gave me the last push I needed to turn this from an idea into an actual story while also inspiring the diary format.
Page 1View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 1*illegibly smudged* I used up all the pages in my old diary, but that gave me an excuse to buy this extra nice new one! It's enchanted to be both water and fire resistant, so it should last a while. The lock is normal, but that's not a big deal. I trust that nocreature will snoop. Especially considering how unremarkable my life is. It'll just continue to be a place to jot down my idle thoughts. *illegibly smudged* Apparently the Breezies in town are all leaving to go back to their home realm. I'd only been briefly acquainted with a couple, but they were certainly nice creatures, and will be missed. They'd only recently started moving in, too, after accommodations for their size had been built alongside the new dragon infrastructure. Contrary to its name, Ponyville is the friendliest place in Equestria when it comes to other creatures, so I was obviously confused. I asked around, but none of my friends knew why they were leaving all of a sudden either. Even when pressed, no Breezie would say. Something has them quite spooked. *illegibly smudged* A local yak went a little overboard at the bowling alley today and leveled half the building. No injuries, thankfully. I got pulled into a song with a bunch of creatures and we got the place rebuilt lickety-split. It was surprisingly rewarding. Maybe I should take up construction as a side hobby. I got this indescribable feeling of accomplishment helping turn a pile of materials into a finished structure. Regardless of what I end up doing in the future, I feel like I'm missing something in the present. I have plenty of close friends, though, and the Princess says that's what's most important. I'll get over it, hopefully.
Page 12View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 12*illegibly smudged* I've decided to name my butterfly companion Lucky, as it's been quite the boon this past week. Whenever I go where Lucky leads, the best outcomes for myself and others seem to occur. Everycreature I know has gotten used to us being inseparable at this point, and now I can introduce them to Lucky with pride. I may not be a national hero like some of my neighbors, but thanks to Lucky, things seem to be looking up. *illegibly smudged* Lucky no longer waits outside for me, suddenly more than comfortable going indoors. Maybe it's taking any excuse it can to get out of the cold? The leaves are beginning to turn their autumn colors, and most of the other butterflies have migrated or passed on by now, leaving eggs behind. At least I'm pretty sure that's how they work; I'm no entomologist. Then again, Lucky obviously isn't normal, it's too smart for that. For example, the only time Lucky leaves my side now is when I'm in the bathroom, as if it understands I need privacy then. Also it doesn't ever really look particularly bothered by anything, not even insect-eating birds. *illegibly smudged* Ponies were watching a fashion show set up outside Carousel Boutique today. The theme was rocks for some reason. Not gems, regular rocks. I have no clue who would wear a rock dress normally. Not because they're ugly, because they're heavy. There's a reason only guardsponies trot around in armor all day. I'll stick to my nothing, thanks.
Page 143View OnlineDiary of *illegibly smudged*Page 143*illegibly smudged* Between my efforts deciphering the layers upon layers upon layers within the Book and taking care of *illegibly smudged*, I've had barely any time to write. Keeping this matter a secret from my wife has also proven difficult. I can only deflect her prying eyes elsewhere for so long, even if she respects the privacy of my study. Part of me wants to hope she'd understand, but I know her too well. She is a simple pony, in that she delights in the ordinary. While she is charming in that way, simple ponies fear that which they do not understand. And for their futures, I must understand. I must. I must. *illegibly smudged* I would not be able to keep track of the days were it not for the clock, tick, tick, ticking away, synchronized with every nearly inaudible wingbeat. I barely see my family anymore, only Lucky, but I'm so close now, I can taste it. The gnashing, the gnawing in my stomach, it shall at last be soon filled. Though perhaps that is more mundane hunger. I cannot recall the last time I ate or slept. I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to continue my journaling, when the blood of ages writ into substance pools and writhes between the slabs, between my ears. Yes, I should get back to work now. My benefactor and patron never falters. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Lucky eat or sleep at all since we've met. Not even once. Truly inspiring! *illegibly smudged* *illegibly smudged* at last discovered my work with the Book. As I'd expected, she was less than receptive to the idea of its mere existence, let alone my decoding of its marvels, and we traded rather heated words. She does not blame me, however, she blames Lucky for being a bad influence. That's preposterous, of course, and I told her as much. but she wasn't having it. Much to my horror, she swept up Lucky in a bug net to be released into the winds! I couldn't stop her from taking the Book either, my muscles weakened from disuse. I pretended to acquiesce to her pleas afterwards, and am about to go cuddle up with her and *illegibly smudged* to sleep. But tomorrow I NEED to get the Book back. I still see the runes behind my eyelids, tantalizing in their magnificence. I will dream of the truth that lies in wait.
