LOOK MOM I WROTE A FANFIC!!!!
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Twilight sparklw was walking to the growshury store in a very out of character and misspelled way when Rainbow Dash showed up and then immediately left!YEAH!!!
Suddenly a big giant huge loarge enormous meteor flew down from space and killed pip.
"Well that was bound to happen eventually," sed twilight sparkle!!!!!!~!~!!~
Disregarding Pip's untimely demise, Twilight collected her weekly provisions and sauntered back to her home, while singing about how she was the best unicorn in Equestria.
After arriving she threw the jar of pickles she had bought at Spike's head rendering him unconcious.
"Oh sleeping on the job are we? What a bad dragon,"she shook him awake and when he opened his eyes she screamed nonsense words at him, and then chucked him at a nearby bookshelf which caused a collision that knocked every single book down to the ground.
"Well,"Twilight said expectantly.
"What,"replied a dizzy spike.
"CLEAN IT UP BITCH!!!twilight lovingly said.
Spike threw up on owlicious and then proceeded to pick up the books, until he came across one he did not recognize. It was old and dusty with a faded teal cover. The title simply read "The Element of Hate".He walked over to Twilight and showed it to her.
"When did you get this book twilight?"
"I-I didn't," she stammered.
She picked it up with her magic and opened it.
Suddenly a bright red light emanated from the book and engulfed the entire room. Twilight lifted Spike in front of her face to sheild herself from the light while simultaneously forcing Spike to keep his eyes open with her magic. Eventually the light faded and when the dust settled a hologram of WWE World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus was floating above the book.
"Oy, don't look in this book, it contains an evil secret kept by Celestia, unlocking it could destroy the credibility of bronykind."
Then Sheamus disappeared, leaving Twilight sitting there looking very confused.She picked up the book and looked at it.
"Twilight,"Spike protested,"didn't you hear Sheamus? That book could destroy all of bronykind!"
"What the hell is a brony,"Twilight inquired.
Spike simply shut his mouth and let Twilight continue. She flipped through the pages and began to read what appeared to be some horrible story about a Red and Black Alicorn that went by the name Evil Shadow Fire.
"My Celestia what a horribly unoriginal name. It's so bad I feel like throwing up,"Twilight thought to herself,"Plus the whole storyline is stupid and rediculous, this is the first time I've read a story like this and the entire concept already feels overly exhausted. Besides that color design. It's as though Some fat loser was sitting at home writing a fanfiction, and he suddenly thought to himself "Red and Black are cool colors,I'll use Red and Black" and this character is retardedly strong, in fact I'd say that this alicorn is more overpowered than any given Sonic OC."
Suddenly, upon thinking that last sentence Twilight felt a disturbance in the pony force.
"Spike,"Twilight said worriedly.
"Yes?"
Counting with Twilight Sparkle.
After telling Spike of the incredible butthurt phenomenon Twilight continued reading, her scowl growing larger with every second. Finally she reached the end.
"My goodness that was an ordeal," Twilight said to Spike.
"What was it about,"Spike asked.
"Oh it was just some atrocity about a Red and Black alicorn taking over the world.
"It looks like it was so bad you couldn't even finish."
"What are you talking about? I read the entire horrible thing!"
Spike turned a page on the book to reveal some more text.
"Oh horseapples,"Twilight started to read the text,"Wait, this can't be part of the story, it isn't blatant plagiarism."
She read the following text aloud.
"Chains are linked and evidence erased.
Binds hold this evil in it's place.
Never count down from twenty-eight.
Or face the Element of Hate."
"That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Agreed, but at least not counting down from twenty-eight shouldn't be too difficult, now pick up the remaining twenty-eight books, I've got twenty-seven errands to run. Don't worry, it should only take about twenty-six minutes. Now i just need to get my twenty-five bits and I'll be off to those twenty-four stores."
Then she turned and left, being sure to close the door behind her.
After about an hour she returned looking tired and irritated.
'What took you so long,"asked Spike.
"Well it turned out I only needed to bring twenty-three bits with me,so I had to decide what to spend the remaining bits on and I decided to buy twenty-two hotdogs, but they weighed at least twenty-one pounds so I had to eat a bunch of them. It turns out I can eat twenty hotdogs in one sitting. But tomorrow is New Year's so I have to get nineteen donuts tomorrow and I need some sleep.
So Twilight shambled up the stairs and went to bed while dreaming of numbers eighteen through eleven, and saying each one out loud as she slept.
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"Guys the donuts are all gone,"Rainbow dash yelled furiously.
"Sorry about that, I guess I ate them all,"Pinkie declared still as happy as ever.
"What the hell Pinkie? I wanted some donuts!"
In response Pinkie barfed up about three sugar raised donuts that were all in one piece albeit extremely soggy, then she pushed them towards Rainbow Dash, who began to dry heave.Realizing that dash no longer wanted any donuts she ate them a second time causing Dash to puke for real.
"Shut your damn mouths everyone! The countdown is starting,"Fluttershy declared.
The six friends huddled together and all of them began to count.
TEN
NINE
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One
A flash of red and black blinded the mane six and when it subsided there was a red and black tornado in the library sucking books into it's center until it absorbed the teal book about the red and black OC.
Red and black lightning struck the red and black tornado and it began to metamorphosize the book onto a shape of pure butthurt.
Once the tornado and lightning ceased there stood a lone red and black alicorn who stared at the mane six menacingly, and then it began to complain.
