"Y'all are tyrants for siccing the guards on me!"
The orange farm pony bucked her hind legs, connecting with Twilight's chestplate. Exasperated but mercifully unhurt, the novice guardsmare lay where she fell. Pondering her choice of profession.
'Public disturbance. Town market.' Those were the only details Twilight got before pulling on her gear and galloping to go diffuse the situation. Given the sheer number of national emergencies lately, she'd been hoping for something mundane and manageable. A sale dispute at a fruit cart. A delinquent foal caught making graffiti. What she got was a muscular Earth Pony clearly in the throes of a nervous breakdown. Not a disaster by any means, but a worrisome sign that the populace was stressed out. Twilight really couldn't blame them; under her metal uniform, she was no different.
"Sendin' two armored Unicorns to bully one workin' class citizen?" The orange mare stomped twice to emphasize her strength. "I don't care if'n I'm outnumbered, cuz I got enough hooves for both of ya!"
Twilight was the only guard here. In fact, she was the only guard assigned to the entire town of Ponyville. The town square's populace was limited to her, the orange maverick, and about a dozen bystanders cowering behind bushes and shop stalls. For the sake of the onlookers, Ponyville's lone law enforcer got to her hooves and sized up the public menace. She began by peering into the farm pony's foggy eyes.
"Seeing double," Twilight guessed. "Intoxicated, but not aware of it. Delirious and frightened out of her wits."
"Get lost, ya pointyheaded tinmare!"
The orange mare shambled defiantly towards Twilight, losing her clumsy hoofing and falling forward. What stopped her from biting the dirt was an aura of purple magic. Head pounding from effort, Twilight levitated the disoriented farm pony in place.
"Ma'am, have you been drinking at all today?"
"Eh?" The farm mare was still snorting steam, but at least she wasn't kicking anymore. "Whaddya mean by drinking?"
Twilight regarded the farm mare's cutie mark: a trio of apples.
"Cider, perhaps?"
"What if I have? There ain't any law against a pony drinkin' what she grew on her own property."
Twilight clicked her tongue. She'd been reading a Fetlock Holmes novel in her office before getting this public disturbance report. And just like the famous fictional detective, she was starting to put certain clues together.
"No ma'am, there aren't any laws against harvesting your own crops. That'd be silly. But if I may ask, is your property near the Everfree Forest? Like, right next to it?"
The farm mare didn't say anything.
"Two weeks ago, the Everfree Forest was the nexus of Nightmare Moon's return." Twilight was gently reminding not only the farm mare, but everyone else in the square still watching. "You'll remember that after she escaped the six pony search party that went after her, the area was declared a no-go zone. Not just because the Queen Of Night Terrors is still at large, but because her ambient Fear Magic still lingers in the area. It affects the trees, the grass, the plants... and anypony unlucky enough to ingest them."
The farm mare blinked her foggy eyes, trying to survey her surroundings.
"I'm... I'm not at muh homestead right now, am I?"
"Afraid not, ma'am. Would you like me to escort you back there?"
The orange pony's face went red and she pulled her stetson down to cover it. "Yes please, if it ain't much trouble. Muh name's Applejack and I hope... I hope there aren't any ponies around watchin' me flail like a mad dog."
Twilight made wordless eye contact with a nearby vendor. He nodded and put a hoof to his mouth.
"Erm... no worries, Applejack. I'll walk with you. Just promise not to kick me again."
Twilight had never been to the apple farm just outside of town. She had however, upon being assigned to Ponyville several weeks ago, memorized a map of the district. She trotted slowly and evenly, a still hazy Applejack following behind.
"My own orchards, seeped in Fear Magic hooey while I didn't suspect a thing. Reckon the whole harvest needs thrown out, since I can't sell tainted fruit."
Twilight's training firmly forbid her from making small talk with apprehended criminals. However, given the circumstances, she'd already decided Applejack was getting let off with a warning. So in the strictest sense, Applejack had no criminal record. Small talk was ay-okay. And even if it wasn't, the truth was Twilight had yet to make any real acquaintances in this town.
"One bad apple doesn't spoil a barrel," Twilight assured. "And your farm isn't the only one that has been hit hard lately. Most of the fields near Baltimare were turned from regular corn to candy corn during that chaos god's rampage last week. The Princess sent them some dowsing rods to help find unaffected patches of crops."
"I'm not followin'," Applejack admitted.
"I could write to The Princess and request a dowsing rod for your fields."
"You can just do that?!"
Twilight stifled a giggle. Giggles were unprofessional. "I can't promise it'll get here quickly, since I'm not very high ranking and there are so many other disasters going on. But what I can promise is Celestia always looks out for all her little ponies."
Applejack, overwhelmed that her family wouldn't be going hungry, stared at her legs as they trotted. Her pace was slow due to the pair of hoofcuffs on her hinds.
"I can take those off of you now," Twilight offered. "The Fear Magic seems mostly gone from your system."
Applejack vigorously shook her head.
"If'n it’s all the same, I'd want to stay shackled til I'm home. Don't want to have another fit and run off."
"I'm being honest, Applejack. You can trust yourself now."
"If I can't trust my own apple fields, I can't trust anythin'!"
Twilight sighed, but relented. Earth Ponies really didn't grasp how magic worked.
Then again, maybe Applejack was smart to play it safe. The disasters of past few weeks all kicked off when the most magical unicorn in Equestria, Celestia's faithful student, completely misread the Mare In The Moon prophecy. Oh, the monster mare's return had happened alright. But the recapture failed miserably. Nopony knew why. Least of all Twilight, who wasn't even part of the group.
If arcane experts like Celestia's faithful student were fallible, a novice like Twilight had to stay focused. The Guard was stretched thin these days, and Ponyville was her responsibility.
"This here'd be my place. Sweet Apple Acres."
Twilight chuffed, startled by the looming sign of the apple orchard. It was an admittedly inviting farmstead. Big barn, colorful saplings, rolling hills. Perfectly picturesque to the eye of a lifelong Canterlot native like Twilight. Sights aside though, she knew an unknown amount of those apple trees were contaminated by a madmare still on the loose.
A yellow filly with a bow was running out to meet them.
"AJ! There y'are! Mac and me've been worried sick!"
"Oh flibberjibbet," Applejack cursed. "Could ya get these cuffs off me 'fore my baby sister sees?”
Twilight fumbled for her keys. She'd never seen someone so short gallop so fast.
"You took off yellin' bloody murder earlier so Granny made me do your chores on top of my own! You owe me fer this whole afternoon, ya hear!?"
Twilight had freed one of Applejack's legs by the time the filly arrived. It was one leg too few.
"Whoa, are those there hoofcuffs? AJ, did you get in a fight? If you did, I bet ya won!"
Applejack's reddened face was back, and she'd pulled down her stetson again. Twilight cleared her throat and addressed the filly.
"Your sister is fine. But I need to ask if you or anypony else drank the same cider or ate from the same trees she did this morning."
The filly stuck her tongue out.
"Nuh-uh, not after seein' AJ go nuts. I poured that pitcher of crazy juice right down the toilet. Your armor is real pretty, by the by. Can I touch it?"
"Leave the nice guardsmare alone, Apple Bloom." Applejack was finally freed from her restraints.
"Aw, it’s okay," Twilight assured. She'd never actually been complimented for her armor before. "You can touch it if you make me a promise. You have to stay away from the fields near the Everfree. Just until Applejack checks them with a magic stick that'll come in the mail."
Twilight hoped she wasn't talking down to the filly. She had no experience with kids.
"Stay away from the field by the Everfree?" Apple Bloom was running a hoof over Twilight's shoulder guard. "Oh, this is about Nightmare Moon, ain't it? She and her Fear Magic hooey. I remember her cackling about that 'fore she flew away."
"Apple Bloom! I toldja to keep quiet 'bout Nightmare Moon!"
Twilight's eyes were wide with surprise. It was common knowledge that after Nightmare Moon reappeared, a band of six ponies confronted her in her lair. It was not common knowledge however, who five of those six were. There was Shining Armor of course, Celestia's faithful student and the stallion who'd decoded the prophecy to begin with. But no reports gave any details about the volunteers who'd accompanied him.
"Hey...." Apple Bloom was absently tapping the six pointed star crest on Twilight's chestplate. "Yer gem thingy looks an awful lot like one of th-"
"Apple Bloom!" Applejack was back to snorting steam, and this time not due to Fear Magic. "Go to your room or you're grounded, missy!"
"Aw c'mon, I just got done bein' grounded for the past two weeks!"
"Git!"
Twilight kept quiet as Apple Bloom trudged away. Once the filly was out of earshot, she addressed Applejack.
"How the hay did your baby sister become part of the Nightmare Moon search party?"
Applejack kicked at a stray rock. "Cuz she's disobedient. Always has been, even before ma and pa died. I told her to stay put that night, but she slipped out the house. The Princess's faithful student 'imself told her to go home, but she hung back and snuck after 'im and the others anyway. The gall of that girl!"
"I'm sure she just wanted to help out, Applejack. When I was that age, I hung around the guard barracks even though I wasn't old enough to enroll. Eventually though, I was old enough. Things worked out."
"Hmph." The farm mare rubbed her nose. "Well things didn't work out for the Nightmare Moon posse. I'm sure ya heard 'bout the botched prophecy or some such. The six magical crystal whatsits that were s'posed to fire up and stop her, but didn't."
"I... did get briefed on that, yes. But I didn't know that civilians knew about it."
Applejack managed a melancholy smile. "You don't get outta yer office much, do ya? The whole town has been murmurin' all 'bout what it could've been that went wrong that night. I worry my own kin had somethin' to do with it, and I keep playin' it back, wonderin' if I was just a tad more strict with Apple Bloom, kept her away from ponies who need to focus, things mighta gone different."
"I'm starting to understand why you drink."
That one got a genuine laugh from Applejack, and Twilight allowed herself a thin smile.
"Hey, um... Applejack?"
"What is it, sugarcube?"
"I can't legally order you to do anything," Twilight ventured, "but can I ask you to do something? Mare to mare, not guard to citizen?"
Applejack nodded warily.
"Hug your little sister. It's a better de-stressor than cider is."
Applejack nodded again. "Thanks fer lettin' me off with a warnin' today," she mumbled.
"Of course. What happened wasn't your fault."
"Was my responsibility though."
This conversation was getting uncomfortably close to the one Twilight had with her brother. The rough couple of weeks, the guilt complex, the constant dwelling on mistakes. Applejack spoke again.
"You oughta come by tomorrow," she ventured. "Y'know, to do a follow-up, or whatever you law ponies call it. If'n you bring that dowsing doohickey, I could pick some safe apples and make pastries."
Twilight stared blankly.
"I'm invitin' you over as a friend, sugarcube."
"Huh? Oh!" Twilight shuffled from one hoof to another. The last time she’d accepted an invitation was two weeks ago from her best friend Moondancer. And while Twilight was at that party, Nightmare Moon returned. The evening that the Guard needed her the most, Twilight Sparkle had been wasting her day having tea and cookies.
Realizing Applejack was still waiting for a response, Twilight shut her eyes. Her armor felt heavy. So very heavy.
"Okay. See you tomorrow, Applejack."
Opting to quit while she was behind, Twilight lit her horn and teleported. And when she reappeared by town hall, a bystander shrieked with fright.
"Goodness! Quite a turn of fortune I wasn't standing four paces to my left."
Twilight was rubbed her head. "Sorry for the scare, ma'am. If you'll excuse me though, I need to get to my office."
"Ah yes! Don't want to be in your way, dearie." The bystander smoothed her meticulously pampered mane and sidestepped to let Twilight pass. On the desk inside, Twilight had her unfinished Fetlock Holmes novel. However, just as the outside door slid shut, the pampered bystander slipped in.
"So this is the inside of town hall," she remarked. "You'd think I'd have been in here before, having lived near it all my life. But c'est la vie, am I right?"
Twilight blew out heavily. "Can I help you, citizen?"
"Ah! Indeed you can. I was in fact waiting nearby for you to get back from escorting that farm pony away. Beastly bad luck for the poor dear. No matter one's social standing, Fear Magic tantrums are embarrassing affairs."
Twilight lurched in place and stared hard at the bystander. It was the first time she'd done so.
"You... know Fear Magic when you see it?"
"Of course, darling! The air near town is choked with the stuff. I've had to breathe through my good handkerchief whenever I venture out. But ah, I'm being rude. Haven't yet introduced myself. Rarity. At the crown's service."
She curtsied with practiced posture, and Twilight finally noticed her guest had a horn.
"I didn't see any unicorns listed in Ponyville's census records," Twilight murmured. Rarity wrinkled her nose in response.
"The town census records? Pish posh, those dusty documents haven't been updated in decades. Why ever did you read through such pulp, dearie?"
Twilight straightened to full height, her armor gleaming in the sun rays through the window. "Because as the lone guardpony assigned to this town, it’s my job to be as well informed as I can."
Unperturbed, Rarity blew her nose on what Twilight guessed was the aforementioned Good Handkerchief.
"If I may say so, you'd get more up-to-date town info by eavesdropping at the local spa. Do you ever go? I can scarcely imagine what a helmet like that does to one's hair."
"I have work to do," Twilight answered cooly. Which was her way of saying no, she never went to the spa.
Either not noticing or not caring about the hint, Rarity pranced briskly around Twilight's office.
"Well of course you've work to do. I'm sympathetic to the Royal Guard as a whole, truly and sincerely I am. You have your hooves full with Nightmare Moon stalking shadows and that recently escaped chaos ruffian running amuck in broad daylight. I've even heard rumblings that the deepest, most secure cell of Tartarus was found empty yesterday. One shudders to think that some burly, meatheaded beast might be on the loose now too."
Twilight's eyes widened. "The Tartarus jailbreak... is supposed to be classified."
"Tut tut, darling. I told you already that gossip travels fast at spas and clothing boutiques. And those are the two places I spend my free time and working hours, respectively."
Twilight stamped her hoof. "Ma'am, I've had a stressful day, so if you don't have any crimes to report or monster sightings for me to log, I'm going to charge you with loitering." Twilight felt grim satisfaction that, for the first time since the teleport scare, Rarity seemed genuinely taken aback.
"Oh dear," she mewled. "I'm so sorry for seeming flippant. This isn't the impression I wanted to make. Not at all."
"Impression?"
"Yes, darl- I mean ma'am. I'd been waiting outside town hall since you left accompanying Applejack. I wanted to ask y-"
"Hold on, you've been waiting outside my office all afternoon?"
Rarity pawed the rug, self-conscious. "I have. I wanted ask whether... if the Guard has any open positions?"
If Twilight had feathers, you could have been knocked her over with one.
"You? You want to be a Guardsmare?"
Rarity nodded shyly, brushing mane curls from her face with a perfectly manicured hoof.
"I... I..." Twilight was at a loss. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't seem like the warrior type."
"I'm not," Rarity admitted. "Though if I did have the constitution, I'd look fabulous in my own armor. Especially after I added my own je ne sais quoi touches to the trimmings. Oh, and all those tall, trained stallions on the force! I wouldn't mind mingling with them one bit."
Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"Erm, all that said, I'm still faint at the thought of chasing down hooligans or... being dispatched to a far off town. I have family. Here. In Ponyville."
Twilight nodded knowingly. "These are scary times. But if the rest of your family is staying out of danger, you probably should too."
"Ah, but suppose they aren't? Stop me if you've heard this one before: On the night of Nightmare Moon's return, my rambunctious little sister chased Celestia's faithful st-"
"I have heard this one before, actually. Sheesh, how many of my brother's entourage that night were kids, anyway? I had a crying yellow pegasus find me after her own brother volunteered. She was so upset you'd think he was still in diapers, but when I finally saw him he was a full... grown..." It occurred to Twilight she'd just blabbed about her family ties. And judging by the glint in Rarity's eye, the slip up had been noted.
"I've an appetite for gossip, dearie. Thank you for that morsel. Though this loops back to what I was saying before. As you've gathered, I'm a socialite, not a war horse. So since my ears hear so much, I thought... perhaps they could be your ears too."
"You... want to be an informant."
Rarity tossed her head and a flick of the mane followed. Even a shut-in like Twilight could tell the gesture was rehearsed.
"Informant, ugh. Such a rubbish, uncouth term. But if the horseshoe fits..."
"I don't get it. What's in this for you?"
"Solving the mystery, of course!" Rarity's nose was suddenly pressed to Twilight's, eyes wild. "Of what went wrong with the prophecy! Of why the Elements didn't activate. Everypony's thinking it, and I'm simply saying it: the wrong ponies must’ve entered the woods that night! Who the right ponies are is anyone’s guess, but you must be curious too, yes? Why else are you staying stationed in this throwaway town?"
Twilight stepped back, bumping her desk. Rarity spied the Fetlock Holmes novel.
"Fetlock. I'm partial to Shadow Spade myself, but it’s all bits and bobbins in the basket, isn't it? Reading about mysteries... it can't compare to sniffing them out oneself. Please, Miss Twilight. Don't make a lady beg. Please show some generosity and help pull at the threads hanging off yesterweek!"
Twilight's armor felt heavy again. Even heavier than when Applejack had called her 'friend.' It was true that every problem plaguing Equestria - the monsters, the Changeling sightings, the rumored anti-Cutie Mark cult to the north - all of them kicked off after someone or something fumbled the recapture of Nightmare Moon. It was a bold theory that the wrong ponies tried to wield the Elements. Especially since her brother was one of them. If not Shining Armor, then who?
Rarity was mewling again, aching for an answer.
Twilight was already requesting a dowsing rod for Applejack. She could tack on a clause to register Rarity as an informant. Maybe send the letter expressly through her brother’s pet dragon. Equestria certainly needed all the helpers it could get right now. She hoped these two ponies wouldn't be the last ones she recruited.
Twilight inhaled. If this decision was folly, then let Celestia strike her down where she stood.
"Alright, Rarity. You're in. Welcome to the Equestrian Royal Guard."
Author's Note
Of all the Snippet Series oneshots, this one is tied with the Mirrorverse entry for strongest follow-up potential. So many AUs, so little time.
EDiffering Shades
Twilight sends a letter to Sombra and Cozy Glow. That is, the OTHER Sombra and Cozy Glow.
Casketbase77 ·
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Ah well. Have a supplemental picture of Rarity showing off for her new friend's new friend.
Image source
