Trailer Park Ponies

I've Met Cats and Dogs Smarter then Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo

Rainbow Dash slept away soundly in the front seat of Rarity's delapitated car. It had been two days since Rarity let her stay there, and tentions were mounting already.
Rainbow had already aquired 6 marijiuana plants, which were sitting in stolen pots in the back seat. Beside them was a small orange cat, every so often looking around at a noise it heard outside.
Fluttershy was out calling a cat by the name of “Shitrock” when she saw the little kitty inside Rainbow Dash's car, sitting near the plants.
She walked over, rather angrily, and began pounding on the roof, waking Rainbow Dash.
“I want my kitty!” she said trying to open the door.
“Frig off Fluttershy, you said I could have it!” Rainbow shouted, sleepily, trying to turn over.
“I never said you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fucking car!” Fluttershy replied, opening the door.
“I need him Fluttershy, the squirrels and racoons and shit are gonna eat my weed plants, they're all I have left in the world, please I need the cat to protect them!”
Fluttershy shook her head, taking the cat.
“No kitty of mine is gonna live in a dirty old car, with a neglectful, owner more concerned about weed plants and getting drunk then his pet's well being” Fluttershy walked off back to her shed, whispering to the cat.

Rainbow Dash; It's like everybody's fucking against me, I try and grow weed plants and Fluttershy won't give me a cat, I need a place to stay, Rarity makes me live in a car...Which I mean isn't that bad, but still, they don't get how important these weed plants are to me... Fuck...

Rarity looked out her window, sure enough Rainbow Dash was still there, and so were the plants. She wanted to kick Rainbow out of her car and go clean but she just couldn't do that to her friend. All day yesterday she was thinking of what to do, and she felt the bottom line was she couldn't turn her friend away... Going clean would just have to wait.
“Rainbow Dash, You and I need to talk” Rarity said, motioning Rainbow to come inside, but stopped her at the door when she got a strong wiff of liquor and chips.
“Listen, Rainbow Dash, your little marijuana operation, do you have any real plans for when those plants get bigger?” Rarity asked, trying not to take deep breaths.
“Well...not really...got the plants in the car...I could have Luna hide them at her place” Rainbow muttered trying to think.
“Rainbow, Luna lives at the garbage dump, bees constantly fallow her around and she urinates in old soda bottles, that is no place for something we could sell in order to retire. I have been thinking about it, and have a great idea where to put it all” Rarity motioned Rainbow aside, walking down the steps towards the car.
“Where!?”
“DJ-Pon3's old camper...”

DJ-Pon3, as she does most days, sits outside, on the picnic table with several of her friends, playing music, singing, smoking or just causing a disturbance to much of the close by neighbours.
“Yeah I'z wubbin that shit hard, before it was cool, before that gimp mol'fucka Skrillex, I'z the pony who gets it done!”
“Vinyl! I thought I had asked you to stop talking like that, please, it's a horrid misuse of the english language!” Octavia snapped, poking her head out the window.
“Dawg I know you didn't just call me by my government name” DJ-Pon3 replied, pulling down her glasses slightly so Octavia could see her eyes.
“Vinyl Scratch!”
“Slave name!!”
“And when are you going to get that hash out of my cello case?! It's been 3 days, you said it would be out in one, I am getting sick of all this! I don't want hash in my cello case!” Octavia walked back inside though her voice was still clear.
“Don't be yellin' about hash Tavi-”
“Don't call me Tavi!”

DJ-Pon3; “damn these ballz 'n' chains be trippin'. I go and put hash in her case for a few days and she flips, know what I sayin'. That hash pays the rent, and when I find a good buyer, I sell the shit, and make the bling, know what I sayin'?! Dj-Pon3 is hard as fuck, thats just how I roll...Dope, guns, wubs, ho's, liquor, unmarked bills, unlisenced night clubs...That's what DJ-Pon3 and the Pon3 Pile is about, know what I sayin'?!”

Octavia; I met Vinyl, about 7 years ago, she was the bus...girl, at a lovely resturant called Maison Plaisir which sadly burned down and become a Gulp 'n' Donair...but I digress. I was playing there, and ...we somehow got to talking after the show, it was love at first sight. She courted me like a lady and we became serious, I helped her with her music career... She got me a ring... It's love, it really is... We do fight, but every couple does, she likes to play the tough pony but every night she tells me how much she loves me.

DJ-Pon3; “Aww Tavi's just a fling, D.J to the P.O.N-3 don't get tied down. Her and I met in a KFG, and she was drunk. So we go in the ladies and get our freak owwwn! I made her a star, with that, thing she has, the jello? Err...I-I'm keepin it real, ain't no wubs in that shit!”

“DJ-Pon3!” Rarity called, waving to her, trying to get her attention.
“Aww shit, you guys outta jail! Good to see ya dawg” DJ Pon3 replied, giving Rarity a hug and a hi five to Rainbow Dash.
“So what can I and these hard as fuck Pon3's do for ya, Rares?” she asked, nudging one of her friends.
“We need to borrow your old camping trailer, Rainbow Dash and I have an idea on how to make money” Rarity replied, trying to speak softly.
“Aww shit, gettin' yer dope on eh Dash?! Yeah I can hook yous guys up with all the shit ya need, long as I gets my cut” she replied smiling.
“Of course, just set it up, put all the machinery and plants inside and then bring it to my lot, but be descrete, we cannot let Celestia or Twilight know about anything we are doing!” Rarity said, looking around, nervous the two would show up.
“Fuck those dicks, I've been growing dope since I was in grade seven” Rainbow Dash cut in. Rarity sighed and continued.
“And how many times have you been in jail, Rainbow Dash? I did not want to stoop this low, growing these awful plants with you, but its what fate has handed us so let me do the talking and planning, if you do not mind!”

Rainbow Dash; everypony things Rarity is the brains of the operation because she is so smart. I mean...I'm smart to, for things like playing hockey and growing dope. That makes me smart.
Her brain is on a different level then my brain, self smarted, and...I...fuck...Well I am smart!

Fluttershy; oh well, Rainbow Dash's brain doesn't work like other people's. You give her one task, and she's fine, you throw two or three at her and she's fucked. Only way she can possibly handle something like that is a list, even then it takes a few tries.
“Now, Rainbow Dash, you go find Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, obtain some automobile parts so we can fix up that derilect auto you are living in, and meet me back at my trailer when you are done” Rarity said, pointing off to where she assumed Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were.
“I'm not hanging out with those dicks!” Rainbow Dash snapped angrily.
“If you want to keep living in that auto you will! I have everything under control here, now go find those two, obtain some parts, I don't know where, and meet me back at my trailer!”
“Fuck sakes...” Rainbow Dash sighed, lighting up a cigerette.

Rainbow Dash wandered around for a few minutes shouting “fuck goofs” at the top of her lungs before Pinkie appeared on her porch.
“STOP FUCKING YELLING!” she screamed, her voice cracked. She was about to take another swig of her unidentified bottle before ducking back inside. Rainbow Dash hadn't noticed until a bottle hit the back of her head. Several fillies were throwing bottles at them, before running off when Rainbow Dash regained her balance.
“Fucking bottle kids...”
After two more minutes of solid yelling, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo appeared, running down the street, hands raised for a hi five.
“Hey Dash what's up!” Scootaloo said smiling.
“Do you need any help with anything?” Sweetie Belle added.
“Yeah, first off, hands down, you look like dicks, third, Scootaloo, two smokes, lets go!” Rainbow Dash clopped her hoof on the ground, Scootaloo reluctantly giving her two cigarettes.

Rainbow Dash; Oh I've known Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle since they were six. They are the stupidest fuck giraffe's in the dumb dumb salad. I've met cats and dogs smarter then those two. But that's why we work with them, cause they go to jail and not us, its perfect.

Scootaloo; you know, hard days aside, and everyone has hard days, I think Rarity and Rainbow Dash really respect us.
Sweetie Belle; yeah they can act hard but they got a lot on their plate, I don't wanna sound mushy, but I love those guys.

Rainbow Dash; I just can't stand working with those dicks, they just fuck up so much...

“Alright, Rarity needs some car parts, I donno where we're gonna find them, but its your jobs to help me with that, and I'm hungry so I want some Donairs” Rainbow Dash explained.
“Okay, yeah we can do that, Sweetie Belle and I'll go borrow Bon Bon's car and meet you back here in five!” Scootaloo replied and the two ran off.
The two met back with Rainbow Dash a few moments later, Rainbow telling them to first go to Gulp 'n' Donair, then deciding to simply steal car parts from the cars there.
“Come on you dicks! Hurry it up” Rainbow Dash shouted throwing a can at the two as they tried to take parts out of a car.
She sighed after a few moments, throwing what was left of her donair behind her and went outback to take a pee, upon returning saw the police showed up and were arresting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
“Oh fuck, those idiots did fuck up! Now what am I gonna do?!” Rainbow muttered to herself, angrily, and slipped away behind the strip mall and walked back to the park.

“Fucking Dicks!”