Laments of the Dimension-Stranded

Rainbow Dash frowned, fluttering her clipped wings nervously as she paced back and forth across the hot pavement of the auto repair shop's parking lot. "You're gonna fall and die."

"Naw, I do this all the time."

"You don't have wings! Stop acting like you do! I couldn't save you if you fell."

"Rainbow, there's something you gotta know..." Vincent was seated on the edge of the parking lot where the black pavement crumbled away into the void, kicking his boots out over the edge. The ground was dozens of feet below. If he fell, hitting the ground from such a height would be fatal many times over.

Vincent raised his arms over his head and leaned, stretching casually and yawning. "In Nowhere you gotta make your own fun. And right now I'm having a lotta fun dickin' with ya."

Agitated, Rainbow struggled to lay her ears back against her head. Due to the fact her ears were tucked within the boonie hat Vincent had given her, the hat impeded their movement.

She felt slighted. Vincent probably knew she hated being teased, and she knew he knew, and he knew she knew that he knew.

In conclusion, Rainbow found him annoying at times. She was stuck with him, though. Stranded in a foreign, turbulent world without her flight feathers, her chances of survival were slim without assistance.

"Pretty good view from up here, though, huh?"

Rainbow stopped pacing for a moment and stepped beside Vincent, sitting back on her haunches alongside him. Nowhere outstretched before them. Vincent was correct when he had mentioned it was mostly wide-open, deserted grasslands.

In the distance, Rainbow spotted the line of trees that concealed the pond they had bathed in earlier that day.

Far in the distance to the southwest, black smoke billowed into the air. The origin of the smoke was distant and concealed behind rows of trees. Despite how insignificant the detail was, it inspired Rainbow. Black smoke typically wasn't natural, it was usually created as a byproduct of fire burning. Fires didn't typically start themselves.

There were so many places and directions Rainbow wanted to go. She wanted desperately to explore.

"When'd you say we could leave?"

Vincent shrugged. "Need parts for my truck, otherwise it won't go. Ain't got the specifics in the workshop. I need to find—"

A subtle popping noise made Vincent jolt upright like he had been shocked by electricity. He immediately leapt up onto his feet and darted across the parking lot to the eastern half.

Rainbow followed, curious what had perturbed Vincent so.

He stood motionless, tilting his head as he listened carefully.

An identical popping noise echoed again. This time, it was obvious the noise originated somewhere in the east. Rainbow associated the unknown noise with the distinct report of a distant firecracker exploding, despite the fact that probably wasn't what it was.

"There's someone out there," Vincent concluded.

"How can you tell?" Rainbow wondered aloud.

"Gunshots." Vincent pursed his lips. "Loud. From a rifle. Gotta be a couple miles away."

"The human you saw earlier...?"

Vincent nodded slowly. "I didn't want to accept the reality earlier, but... there's definitely someone out there."

Rainbow frowned. She opened her mouth to comment on the situation, but was interrupted by a noisy growl erupting from her stomach. She grimaced in discomfort and sat back on her haunches, placing a hoof against her belly.

"That's the third time today your stomach has bitched about being empty since we walked back here," Vincent noted, gesturing with a hand.

Rainbow relented, nodding. "Well, I guess even Daring Do can't go on heart-palpitating, adrenaline-filled adventures on an empty stomach."

"Who's Daring Do? Popular action hero?" Vincent wondered aloud, estimating.

"Action hero, treasure-hunter, ruins-explorer, villain-defeater and my friend!" Rainbow announced proudly, grinning.

Vincent chuckled gently. "So, you're conceited because you're friends with a hero, huh? Your own Indiana Jones? Got balls'a steel 'cause you got a few friends in high places?"

"And because of my own skills! But having awesome friends helps." Rainbow fluttered her wings, testing them. As predicted, without her flight feathers, her wings still weren't capable of lifting her off of the ground. "I'll show you how good of a flyer I am when my feathers grow back! That's a promise."

"Maybe your feathers will grow faster if you eat something, dumbass. Whole world ain't gonna vanish into smoke if you, personally, aren't out there constantly exploring it." Vincent leaned down and snatched the flop hat off of Rainbow's head, patting her on top of the head between the ears. She growled irritably, hating how her companion had just degraded her.

"Give me that back!"

"No offense, Dash, but you have the patience of a child."

"Yeah, well... you have the maturity of one!"

Vincent grinned. "Keep your shirt on, Skittles. Only joshin' ya."

Rainbow had endured enough teasing for one day.

She darted forwards quicker than lightning could strike, a rainbow-colored wake trailing behind her as she snatched the hat out of Vincent's hands faster than he could react.

He jerked away frightfully, making an audible noise like "gah!" in shock. "What the hell was that?"

Rainbow smirked, flaunting her spoils ostentatiously. She planted the flop hat onto her head proudly, adjusting the fit. "Vinny, I'm an admired Wonderbolt. I competed neck-and-neck with the best flyers in the academy without even breaking a sweat. I make lightning look like a joke! My name isn't Rainbow Dash for no reason!"

Rainbow's series of brash declarations culminated with her striking an intentionally-asinine pose. She reared up onto her rear legs and spread her clipped wings widely, her hooves clopping audibly on the hard pavement as she rapidly shifted her weight. "What do ya say to that?"

Rainbow was so amused by her humorous display of fake arrogance that she was involuntarily giggling despite herself.

Vincent was silent for a moment, stunned by the scene he had just witnessed. He slowly began to grin. "I'm startin' to like you, Dash. You remind me of myself in my 20's. You got spunk, and you're catchin' on to my type of humor quick. Come to test my mettle, huh? Well lemmie tell ya, this old man's still got some fight left in 'em."

"You're in your 30's?" Rainbow gently panted, out of breath from laughing.

"Yeah, I..." Vincent gently chuckled from Rainbow's display of horseplay. "I turned 30 in Nowhere. Weren't much of a celebration, though."

Rainbow released her breath in a final sigh, her amused smile fading as she looked around the deserted parking lot. Despite having engaged in an amusing act of horseplay with her human companion, she was still in Nowhere. Reality still gripped her tightly.

Back to business. Back to survival—her first priority.

"Well, on that note, I could really go for something to eat."

Vincent motioned with a wave of his hand, offering that she follow him. He grabbed the duffel bag of supplies and his rifle where he had temporarily left them on the hood of an abandoned car. "Yeah. Let's get you fed, come on."

Numerous expectations began forming in Rainbow's head as Vincent led her through the auto repair shop. Nothing, though, could have prepared her for what she laid her eyes upon when she entered one of the back rooms.

"N - no..." Rainbow stuttered, shaking her head. "No, no."

Vincent placed the duffel bag near the entrance to the room and leaned his rifle against the wall safely, assuring its safety lever was toggled to the "on" position.

He approached a few tall, handcrafted stands used for smoking meat. The embers of once-blazing fires were winking beneath metal racks, above which were hung generous chunks of mystery meat from sharpened metal hooks.

"I - I'm not going to eat that." Rainbow shook her head fiercely, gazing down at her hooves stubbornly. She refused to even grace the revolting practice with her eye contact.

Rainbow knew what meat was, unfortunately. She had witnessed Fluttershy feed her animal companions fish or worms occasionally. Never, though, had ponies consumed meat before. Rainbow refused to be a trailblazer in that province.

Vincent shrugged. "Suit yourself, Dash. Meat has salt, though. Healthy for ya."

Rainbow tuned out Vincent's voice, looking away. "...No. What else do you have?"

Disregarding Rainbow's objections, Vincent happily sauntered forward and plucked a chunk of skewered dried meat from one of the meat hooks for himself. "Well, I ain't exactly got a green thumb, but I have been trying my hand at gardening. Next room over, near the bathroom."

When she was excused, Rainbow gladly left the appointed smokehouse of the auto repair shop. The scent of drying meat was nauseating. She trotted around the corner and headed for the bathroom at the rear of the workshop, pushing open the nearby half-ajar door with her nose.

Whatever the room had once been originally, it was now entirely dedicated to housing potted plants. Most looked magical in nature, with colorful stems and leaves and unidentified protuberances.

Rainbow curiously brushed a hoof against the teal, heart-shaped leaves of what appeared to be a root vegetable plant, though it was challenging to know for certain based purely on physical appearance. The plant was flowering with groups of tiny, yellow-colored blossoms.

"That grows starchy tubers like potatoes," Vincent explained, stepping beside Rainbow. "And that..." he extended a finger, pointing, "grows a very spicy pepper. I call it a 'Death Pepper'. Also, the leaves are tangy, almost like an herb."

Rainbow brushed a hoof against the leaves of the plant Vincent had motioned to. Its leaves and thick stalk were coated with red-and-orange splotches, resembling burning flames. The plant was sporting both innocent-looking pink flowers and spherical scarlet peppers growing from pedicels.

"I like spicy stuff," Rainbow absently mentioned.

"Used to not be a fan of capsaicin. It grew on me over the years here in Nowhere." Vincent knelt on one knee and lovingly stroked the leaves of a hardy Death Pepper plant he had nurtured from a mere seed.

"For someone without earth pony magic, these plants you grew look pretty healthy," Rainbow commented. She eyed a tall plant in the very rear of the room whose massive, elephant ear-like leaves gently caressed the ceiling. The fruits it bore were a deep violet color, almost black. Rainbow wondered if they were aubergines.

"I only planted that absolute behemoth of a weed back there a few weeks ago. It's been growing so fast!"

She gazed up at the singular, wide rectangular window in the room. Despite the room only having one window, the plants appeared to be receiving enough sunlight.

"Big experiment," Rainbow noted. "That plant looks like something that grows in the jungle."

"Nowhere's a jungle, Dash. Can be 'bout as chaotic as one."

Vincent paused, pondering something silently for a few moments.

"It's a jungle out there," he repeated, speaking in a sing-songy tone. "Poison in the air we breathe!"

"Well that's an exaggeration if I've ever heard one."

"People think I'm crazy, that I worry all the time!" Vincent continued in the odd tone of voice.

Rainbow opened her mouth to retort with a humorous insult, but was interrupted.

"This world we love so much... Might. Just. Kill. You!" Vincent concluded his little song with a flourish of his hands, grinning.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, chuckling despite herself. Vincent's antics were so silly, yet humorous sometimes.

"If either of us is gonna die, it's gonna be you, dummy."

"You just wait and see, Dash. Remember: it's a jungle out there."

Vincent clutched a small, unassuming scarlet pepper between his pointer, middle finger and thumb. "Are you sure you're up for this, Dash?"

Rainbow used her fork to stab a collection of leaves and veggies from her metal bowl of freshly-mixed, organic salad containing every vegan ingredient available. She popped the leaves and slices of veggies and fruit into her mouth, happily munching. When she was finished eating, she placed the empty bowl onto the hood of an abandoned car next to the boonie hat.

The bowl wasn't entirely empty, though. One fruit had been intentionally untouched.

Rainbow retrieved the pepper from her bowl and held it in a hoof. She firmly planted all three of her hooves onto the black pavement of the auto repair shop's parking lot, standing to attention. She stood straight and rigidly, steeling her nerves. "Born ready! Trust me, Vinny, I've eaten plenty of spicy things before."

"Wunderbar! In that case, the bet is on. Here's the rules, Dash: no crying, no whining, no bitching. Beklagen nicht. Be a man. Or... horse. Whatever. Eat that entire pepper without complaining and you win." Vincent began the countdown. "On three. One..."

"Two..." Rainbow participated in the countdown.

"Three!" They both announced in unison, eating their Death Peppers.

Rainbow popped the entire scarlet pepper into her mouth and bit down forcefully. For a few seconds, the only sensation she perceived was cool juice pouring over her tongue. For those first few seconds, she had the audacity to believe she could easily maintain her composure.

Then the capsaicin began rapidly kicking into gear.

Rainbow exhaled sharply, snorting, and managed to chew the mouthful of pepper and swallow it.

Her first mistake was having the evil pepper anywhere near her mouth. Her final mistake was swallowing it.

Rainbow had consumed spicy peppers earlier in her life in Equestria. She had eaten many an exotic and spicy dish back home. Nothing, though, could have ever prepared her for the unholy demon that was the Fuck All Nowhere Death Pepper.

Her entire mouth and throat were on fire.

Rainbow's eyes began to gush with a tsunami of tears. Despite blinking rapidly, the flood overwhelmed her dams and exploded out. Blinded by tears, she cried out in repentant agony and flopped onto her side, curling her legs inwards. She was struggling merely to breath. Her throat was filled with fire. She could feel the crackling of the flames as they lashed at her esophagus, wrestling to find purchase and burst through from beneath her skin.

"Gah! AAGGHH!"

The tears were no longer involuntary. Rainbow was sobbing, fearful she had been irreversibly deprived of her sensation of taste. She felt like her life would eternally be consumed by an almighty sensation of pure, unadulterated suffering.

She finally remembered to breathe, inhaling and exhaling great volumes of oxygen in bouts that made her lungs ache. Each exhalation of breath was the stale air from a bellows fanning the flames within her and coaxing them to intensify.

Maybe Rainbow's fur and skin itself turned as scarlet as the pepper she had eaten. It certainly felt like it.

Minutes passed. It wasn't quite an eternity like Rainbow thought it was, but the time crawled slower than any length of time she had ever experienced in her entire life. Assuming her position at the very rear of the gargantuan line of ponies all waiting to receive a mugful of the Apple Family's famous cider on Cider Day had felt like waiting for an eternity. All of that waiting, however, may as well have passed in the span of a blink of an eye in comparison to the absolute degree Rainbow was currently suffering.

She sniffled, miserable. Rainbow swallowed repeatedly, but the capsaicin was clinging stubbornly in her mouth and throat, causing the intense burning sensation. It had lessoned slightly, but hadn't yet relented entirely.

Rainbow reached with a hoof and rubbed at her irritated red eyes, brushing away teardrops. She could feel the blue fur on her face was streaked and matted with tears.

She glanced over at Vincent. At some point during the ordeal he had sat down cross-legged on the pavement. Her ears swiveled in his direction, and she noticed for the first time that he was laughing. He was slapping his knee with the palm of his hand, giggling madly.

"Celestia," Rainbow muttered, cursing. All of the energy had been drained from her body. Rainbow Dash, one of the most athletic pegasi in all of Equestria, had been decisively vanquished by a small, unassuming scarlet pepper.

"Tastes like suffering, huh!" Vincent giggled, wiping tears from his eyes with the waist hem of his shirt. "Jesus Christ! Gets me every time."

"What was that thing?"

"I call it a Death Pepper because it makes ya feel like ya wanna die!" Vincent grinned, panting lightly. "Harvested fresh from the hellfire-and-black-bramble-infested profane abyss of Satan's butthole."

Rainbow couldn't help but chuckle a little in reaction to Vincent's colorful language. Panting, she coughed, gagging. The sensation of crackling flames was still lingering in her throat. It was a sensation she would never forget.

"I - I surrender, okay? You win, Vinny. I said I could take it, but... I wasn't expecting it to be this hard." Rainbow felt like crying anew.

"That's..." Vincent panted lightly, pausing between each word, "what she said!"

Rainbow groaned, rolling her eyes.

Vincent grinned. "How does it feel being humbled, Dash?" He stood, turned away and hawked noisily.

Rainbow slowly stood onto all four hooves. She hung her head, panting lightly. "I need a nap or something. Celestia! All of my energy is just gone."

Vincent plunged his hands into his jeans pockets. "How 'bout we go hit up the new dive down the street? I heard they're selling this rad new slushie flavor."

Rainbow blinked. She was so disoriented, she had almost accepted Vincent's ludicrous suggestion as realistic. "I would kill somepony for a slushie right now."

"Me too, Skittles, me too." Vincent sighed wistfully, dabbing at his eyes with his white t-shirt.

A boom of thunder made Rainbow jump. She blinked rapidly to clear her irritated, weeping eyes and gazed up into the overcast afternoon sky. "Is it going to rain?"

"Nope." Vincent scratched his stubble-covered chin absently. "That's the Migration thunder. Wasn't expecting it today..."

"The what?"

"Thunder always comes before the Migrations," Vincent clarified. "Always."

Another boom of thunder erupted loudly. This time, Rainbow was prepared and she didn't flinch.

"Just watch," Vincent ordered. He jogged over to the western edge of the parking lot and pointed down at the ground. "See those pronghorn all the way down there?"

Rainbow trotted over to where Vincent was standing and followed where he was pointing, spotting the herd of pronghorn. They were animals native to Equestria. She recognized them effortlessly. "Yeah?"

A third boom of thunder echoed across the flat plains of Nowhere. Slowly, like zombies, the pronghorn raised their horned heads and began to march in unison southward.

Rainbow blinked, shocked. "B - but... how? How did you know they would—"

Then it struck her. A vague sensation. It was like Rainbow had suddenly remembered something critical and impactful. It felt like the gentle, cool embrace of levitation magic, except it was within her body. It was internal. She felt...

"It's down there. It's south. I don't know what, but..."

Alarmed, Vincent's eyes widened. "What do you mean? What's south?"

"You don't feel it too?" Rainbow felt mildly dizzy, as if she had just recovered from a wild midair barrel roll and her brain was all topsy-turvy. "There's something down there. There's something... there. We need to go there."

"Where?" Vincent frowned. "Why are you being so vague?"

Animals were jerking their heads up from eating or snapping awake from resting. They abandoned their activities, no matter how urgent, and began to march.

It was the Migrations, it was in full effect. Creatures Rainbow had never seen before emerged from hiding in the nearby forests, creatures big and small.

Rainbow resisted the vague urge to begin trotting south. She shook her head, attempting to focus. What was south? What was... calling her?

A boom of thunder erupted, distantly this time. The thunder was fading rapidly, and with it Rainbow's concentration.

Whatever had been tempting her had been abruptly silenced.

Frustrated, Rainbow pounded a hoof against the pavement. "Agh! For the love of Celestia...!"

Vincent attempted again to capture her attention. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Rainbow finally heard Vincent's words and comprehended their meaning. She tilted her head backwards, looking up at him. "There's something south from here. I need to go there as soon as possible. I just have a weird feeling... I think it has something to do with why I'm here."

Vincent blinked, shocked. "I've never felt anything like that. You're sure you weren't just imagining it in the heat of the moment? I mean, I know the Migrations appeared bizarre to me when I first saw them, but it never occurred to me to try to..."

Vincent's eyes widened. It looked like he had finally figured it out.

"...follow the animals."

Vincent grinned widely. He cackled madly like Doctor Victor Frankenstein after animating his monster following countless failures. "You think if we follow the animals, we can find out why we both came here‽"

Rainbow's ears perked up happily. "It's the only lead we have, right?"

"You're goddamn right it's the only lead we have! I - I haven't realistically thought about leaving Nowhere for years!

"I need to fix up my truck and get it running. And then," Vincent paused, grinning ever wider, "and then, my fine feathered friend, we're goin' straight south!"

Rainbow smiled. Vincent's raw excitement was infectious. It was rare to witness someone so full of hope. She felt the sensation beating in her chest like drumsticks against drums—hope. However vague the hope was, however inconsequential their plan may be, hope existed for both of them.

"What do we do next?" Rainbow asked enthusiastically.