Look Who's Talking

by YourUncleFuncle

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Profanity, Big Macintosh, Random
Length: 1032

Apple Bloom learns a bad word. What's even more surprising is where she learns it from. Wait, is it even a bad word? And what's with Applejack?

Apple Bloom says a "bad word" in front of her sister. Applejack gets mad. Big Mac doesn't know what to say.

I finally decided to write another story. I didn't want to do a dark story like Despair or a longer one like Total Drama for a comeback, so I did a short comedy. Hope you enjoy!

Published 2022-06-15 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-15 19:20:01 UTC

Buckin' Swears

"What the hell did you just say to me, young filly?"

Apple Bloom flinched as she looked into her sister's green eyes that were now trying to glare into her soul.

"What? What did Ah do?"

"Don't you fuckin' dare try to play dumb with me! Y'all know what ya said!"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Ah just said 'Scootaloo doesn't give a buck about mah secret freckle. So what?"

Apple Bloom assumed that her explanation would calm her big sister down since it was probably just a misunderstanding, but instead, Applejack stamped a hoof onto the floorboard.

"As long as yer ass is under this damn roof, y'all ain't gonna use that sorta language, y'hear. That's how whores talk. Is mah little sister a whore?"

Apple Bloom shook her head, a sense of guilt filling her from her sister's scolding.

"Then start talkin' like a fuckin' civilized adult. Ma and Pa are watchin', y'know, and do ya think they wanna hear their daughter talkin' like a douchebag?"

Again Apple Bloom shook her head, this time her head fell to the floor. She wasn't on the verge of tears like some of the other times her sister had berated her, but just the pressure of being yelled at made her feel like she had done something wrong, even if she didn't understand what she did wrong.

"Where did ya even hear that shit?"

"Well, Ah was out in the field with Big Macintosh earlier today while he was buckin' trees, and he accidentally stepped on a few apples that fell on the ground, and ya know with him bein' so big they squashed right underneath his hooves. Ah told him to watch where he was steppin' on account of the apples, and he said 'I don't give a buck.' Ah assumed it was a grown-up way to say that he didn't care."

She looked up and saw her sister's eyes ignite again in a rage, only this time the rage was deflected toward another pony, one that wasn't in the room.

"That bastard," the orange mare said before bolting out of the room, leaving Apple Bloom scratching her head.

Big Macintosh was still out in the fields, but he had just gotten to the last row of trees. He was dreaming about the fresh apple pie he knew Granny Smith was making for dessert that night when he heard his sister's voice in the distance. When he looked up he was surprised to see her galloping at almost full speed.

"What are y'all teachin' our sister, you son of a bitch?" Applejack yelled when she was close enough to talk to her brother and maintain a scary presence over him, despite being a head shorter.

"Huh?" Big Mac asked, confused.

"If y'all think ya can teach yer sister that kinda language and get away with it, then ya got another thing comin', ya big motherfucker."

She received no answer besides a confused stare, so she just got even closer to his face.

"Apple Bloom came into the farmhouse and used a fuckin' bad word, shitbrain. Ah was just happy Granny Smith was takin' her nap otherwise she would have had a damn heart attack. Hell, even Ah wanted to cover mah ears."

"What did she say," Big Mac asked calmly.

"You would know which one, since yer the dickhead who taught her it. This mornin' while you were in the fields with her y'all stepped on some apples and when she just asked ya to be more careful, y'all taught her a fuckin' bad word. What the hell is yer problem?"

Big Macintosh thought back to it for a moment, and although he did remember stepping on apples, he couldn't remember saying anything bad. "All ah said was that I didn't give a...wait...

"Ya mean buck?"

Big Mac watched as his sister recoiled, and although amused by his younger sister taking offense to such a tame word, he didn't let it show on his face because of how angry she already was.

"Yes, Ah mean that stupid-ass word. How the fuck did ya think that was a good thing to say around our little sister?"

"Ah don't know, it doesn't seem all that bad of a word."

"Well, one fuckin' work like that is all it takes for her to start soundin' like a slutty whore. Do y'all want that, ya big prick?"

"Nope."

"Do you want our parents lookin' down on you like the cock that taught our sister to fuckin' swear like that?"

"Nope."

"Are ya ever gonna say any fuckin' swears ever again?"

"Nope."

"Are ya gonna go and fuckin' apologize and tell yer sister not to use that sort of damn language right now, mister?"

"Nope, Ah mean, Eeyup," Big Mac said before he started sounding like a broken record.

"Good, now piss off."

Big Macintosh nodded. "But who's gonna finish the apple buckin'?"

"What did Ah just say about usin' that damn word?"

"'Scuse me, but are y'all gonna finish this?"

"Of course Ah won't, asshole, Ah already finished my chores for the day. Just come back and fuckin' finish them on yer own."

Big Macintosh nodded and started to go to the farmhouse to talk to Apple Bloom. Applejack just stared after him with a disapproving glare and shook her head.

"What am Ah gonna do with that buckin' stallion."

She flinched and covered her mouth as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Oh shit, Ah just said a bad word."

She looked up to the sky for a few seconds before she bowed her head so that her muzzle was almost kissing the grass.

"Ah'm sorry Ma and Pa, Ah guess Ah fucked up," she whispered, hoping that her apology would reach the souls of her parents, wherever they may be. She stood there ashamed for another minute before she started making her way to follow Big Mac back to the farmhouse.

"Ah guess the sayin' is right: There's a fuckin' first time for everything."

Author's Note

I don't usually let swear words into my stories, so this is to make up for it.

It's good to be back :pinkiehappy:.