Chapters It turned out to be a late night, but then again birthdays always are. Dinky was finally turning 10... soon enough, she'd be getting her cutie mark! Derpy was so tearful at the thought of her little filly growing up... but she couldn't show it. All that was left was to tuck Dinky in, then she could go pass out with a smile on her face... and maybe a muffin or two in her belly.
"Mmmm... muffins..."
"What mommy?"
Oops. She'd almost forgoten what she was doing in the first place! Tucking Dinky in! She looked back down to her filly. Oh, she was growing up! And growing so well! Her horn was almost full sized... soon she'd be learning magic! Derpy had to get Twilight to teach her little filly how to do all of her tricks. She knew so much, and Derpy knew her little filly could learn even more! Oh, what if she taught her a muffin making spell? Or how to make grass into muffins?!? Or how to tur-
"MOM!"
Oops. "Im sorry sweetheart. Mommies tired. It was a big day for you today! I'm surprised you have any energy left!"
It was a fantastic party! All her friends had come, Pinkie Pie had done the decorations... And then the... what were they calling themselves? The cutie-mark crusaders? They came and gave dinky a membership to their little society. They were so cute, turning up in their the little capes, trying to look serious, barely containing grins. Derpy thought they're capes looked just fine, but her daughter thought they were absolutely amazing! Maybe she'll go into fashion! Oh, Rarity would love an assistant! Maybe she could learn how to make muffin flavored clot-
"I am happy mom. You're just a little bit goofy sometimes." Dinky giggled. Her small happy face made a tear form in Derpy's eye. "You were probably thinking about what my cutie-mark would be. What do you want, for me to learn a spell to generate muffins?"
"...no." But of course, Derpy was terrible at hiding her thoughts from her filly.
"Your lying! I know it! I can read you like a book mommy! You're so silly!" Dinky laughed and rolled around. Derpy finally calmed her. It was time for bed. Everyone was gone, the house was clean, and day had turned quickly, perhaps too quickly, to night. Derpy was tucking her tiny daughter in when Dinky's face became serious.
"Hey mom... can you tell me a story?" It wasn't surprising. Dinky loved a good book. Maybe she'd help Twilight at the library?
"Of course! What do you want? Little Red Trotting Hood? The Little Filly That Could?"
Dinky averted her eyes. "No... Can you tell me... Can you tell me what your cutie-mark is?"
Derpy wasn't surprised. Although she was curious about why this had only come up now. 10 years, and her filly must have been the last pony in town to ask. "Why the sudden interest? Is it because your excited about what yours could be? You know a families cutie marks could be completely different."
"Its just... its just that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara..." Oh. Those little brats. Derpy wrinkled her nose. "They were making fun of you in school today... and i just want to know what it means so i can tell them that my mom," Dinky's eye lit up. they looked like tiny stars. "Has the best cutie-mark EVER!"
Derpy had to admit she wasn't surprised at the children's behavior. Even Cheerilee knew those fillies were turning out the wrong way. But she was just so tired... She hadn't had her morning muffin! On any other day, she would probably have crashed into a tree and taken a nap in its branches. She was in no mood to explain anything, from her cutie-mark to the story of Equestria's beginnings."I can tell you all about it tommorrow."
"But I wont be able to sleep until i know!" Derpy was not convinced. One second, her daughter was snuggled up into her lap to watch a play... it didn't even take as long as the first scene for her to fall soundly asleep. Then again, she also frequently stayed up later then Derpy herself... might as well make it quick.
"Alright, look. its the bubbles made by spa baths." Dinkies eyes went wide. Derpy counted. Freakout in 3... 2... 1...
"You worked in a SPA?" Right on time. "What did you do? Oh yeah, spa bathes. What was it like? Were you a snob? Did you meet any important ponies? Did you ever meet PRINCESS CELESTIA? What did you do for fun?" All normal... then Dinky surprised her. "Is that where you met dad?" Ah, the ulterior motive had come to light.
"If you wanted to know about your father, you could have just asked."
"Well Your going to tell me anyway... aren't you?" Dinkies eyes widened. Well, there was no denying something that cute something it wanted so badly... But she had to try anyway.
"You already know about him! He visits you every month!" Mystic Guard was a great stallion, and a powerful unicorn. He was quite busy with his royal duties, but never once forgot to visit his filly down in Ponyville.
"But you never told me where you guys met!" Dinky was getting excited now. If she started bouncing up and down, there was no stopping her from messing up her covers, and Derpy might not have the energy to subdue her again. Ah, the trials you must face as a loving mother. But she didn't have the energy or the heart to argue... Dinky's lips started to quiver.
"Fine. But after this, you go to bed. deal?"
"Deal!" To prove she was being honest, Dinky snuggled into her covers. Only a few minutes, and she would be sound asleep.
Then i can go to bed. Derpy rethought that though, and concluded Well, i can go eat muffins, then go to bed.
"Well mom?" Dinky was starting to look impatient. No turning back now.
Derpy sighed, prepared her thoughts, and started her story. "You see... Mommy used to work in Canterlot..."
Chapter 1: The Spa's Special Guest
"You worked in a spa in CANTERLOT?"
"Yes i did, now be quiet. Back then, I was known as Ditzy Doo, and my eyes were as normal as my muffins were delicious. Life was... special in the spa. I was so... happy..."
"DITZY! Get you lazy plot down here! We have very important ponies waiting for you!"
"COMING!... But I swear im going to punch you in your prim little nose some day..."
"WHAT WAS THAT?"
"I WAS JUST MUMBLING TO MYSELF ABOUT YOUR WONDERFUL NOSE, AND WHAT I WISH I COULD DO WITH IT!" Ditzy was in no mood today. Her parents were moving out of canterlot. She was a payment behind on her rent. Oh but she did give the best bathes in all of Canterlot. That was one thing she could count on. It's nice to be irreplaceable she thought to her self. As if signaled, her ageing boss shouted out,
"GET DOWN HERE OR I'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SO... LAZY!" The Queen of clever remarks strikes again!
Ditzy payed no heed to the shouting. She went to her assigned spot right next to her bathes and mocked a regal pose so quickly and smoothly her "benefactor" didn't notice.
"DITZY! WHERE ARE YO-"
"I'm right here!" She counted down. 3, 2, 1...
"There you are you lazy bag of bones! Listen, we need you to stop being so useles-" right on time. Ditzy just tuned her out. If there was one thing her boss Luxurious was good at, and there were very few, there was how closely she kept to her schedule, and she always made time to yell at Ditzy. 6:30, start 2 hours of grooming in case somepony handsome walks in. 9, complain at breakfast to the other ponies about how terrible I was yesterday. 9:50, spa's opening soon, yell at me to get up. 10:00, yell at me about how we have VIPs. Guess everyone counts. 10:01, yell at me about how i need to do a fantastic job instead of the obvoiously terrible job i do each day. Like anyone complains... She glanced at the clock. Ah! lets get on to the next step! My favorite!
"...and if that happens again, your FIRED!" Ditzy tried her best to look hurt. She once offered one of her muffins to a very regal man, and he had described them as "Marfulwous" (his face was stuffed with muffin at the time). Luxurious was angry at her for "taking away her chance". Apparently she ignored the wife, whom Ditzy also gave a muffin. That was two years ago.
She didn't know why Luxurious bothered. She was starting to sag. At 60, Luxurious was quite the elder, yet she fussed over every little detail about her body. Her gray mane was combed to a razor sharp point. Her currently yellow fur (she died it every year, and it died a little more every time. Ditzy was unsure of her natural color) was so well trimmed it was barely there, yet there enough to cover her crusting body. Her eyelashes were obviously fake, long enough to reach up to her worry-lined forehead. Ditzy sighed. I have to admit, she does look ok... but why does she even bother anymore? Oh well, another day, another bit. Luxurious was winding down. Only a few minutes, then she would "evaluate strategies" (nap) in her "office" (bed) while "mumbling ideas to complex for Ditzy's poor brain" (snore loudly)
"... and as long as you have that implanted in your walnut of a brain, I'm leaving."
And now for her to... wait. "WHAT?" She was shocked; nothing ever changed ever. Luxurious leaving the house was just... fantastic.
"You heard me! I'm leaving." Luxurious picked up on Ditzy's obvious glee. She wasn't hiding it to well; she could practically hear herself squee. "I'm to go to the castle and help Princess Celestia set up a... wonderful little spa for the castle servents." Luxurious sneered. "Can you believe it? A full Spa? For servents? Why, in my day, Princess Celestia had more of a backb-"
Ditzy tuned her out. At this point it was easy. Commonplace. What Luxurious had just said was not... Yet it was just amazing! Wait . "But, if your leaving, who's running the spa?"
Luxurious looked angry she had interrupted but a sly smile slowly creeped across her face. "Why, my widdle filly of course! Oh, she'll do such a good job! And im sure" she said, her stare intensifying to the point of criminal delight, "that anything going wrong could not POSSIBLY be her fault!"
Oh no. No no no no NO. Contrary to Darwins Law, Luxurious did have spawn. Her name was Silk Mane, and she was worse then her mother. But no, she didn't just have the attitude of her mother, no. She had the looks to boot. Every Stallion her ever walked into Dinky's bathes went on and on about her; "She has such a GORGEOUS yellow mane!" "Oh, have you seen her hooves?" "Her face is so smooth, she must have a mud mask everyday!" "what a wonderful coat! such a beautiful shade of purple!" Blech.
"Anyway, i don't expect anyone high profile today, so i'm sure you can't completely screw everything up!" Luxurious's face turned to a smirk. Her tone became condescending. "I'm sure you can handle one measly wittle day, can't you?" She glanced at the clock. "Oh, but i'm to be off! Ta ta!" And with that, she skipped out the door, whistling a tune half an octave off as she went.
"Hello... Derpy "
Ditzy's blood turned cold. "My name," she managed to growl out, "is ditzy ."
Silk stood near her tubs, crunching on one of Ditzy's signature muffins. Her voice ringed with sarcasm. "Oh, i know. But your ever so clumsy! Its such a shame!" Silk casually walked past her, knocking over one her bath soaps with a casual flick of the tail. "Oops. You know, it's too bad your parents are leaving town! Why, if i didn't know how I bet they just want to get away from yo-" The bell rang. The days first customer. Silk shot her one last dirty look ringed with a sarcastic smile and left. Ditzy thanked Celestia, and prayed Luxurious was being anything but herself in front of her Princess. Or... Queen. Or... something. You know, i've always wondered why we only have a princess. I me-
Her thoughts were cut off by a howling shriek from Silk. "SAPPHIRE SHORES!"
Ditzy was stunned. She thought "You worked in a spa in CANTERLOT?"
"Yes i did, now be quiet, your the one who wanted to hear the story, so let me tell it! I was so happy..."
"DITZY! Get you lazy plot down here! we have very important ponies waiting for you!"
"COMING!... But i swear im going to punch you in your prim little nose some day..."
"WHAT WAS THAT?"
"I WAS JUST MUMBLING TO MYSELF ABOUT YOUR WONDERFUL NOSE, AND WHAT I WISH I COULD DO WITH IT!" Ditzy was in no mood today. her parents were moving out of canterlot. She was a payment behind on her rent. Oh but she did give the best bathes in all of Canterlot. That was one thing she could be proud of. it's nice to be irreplaceable. she thought to her self. Right on time, creeped shouted out
"GET DOWN HERE OR I'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SO LAZY!"
Ditzy payed no heed. She went to her assigned spot right next to her bathes and mocked a regal pose.
"DITZY WHERE ARE YO-"
"I'm right here!" She counted down. 3, 2, 1...
"There you are you lazy bag of bones! Listen, we need you to stop being so useles-" right on time. . Ditzy just tuned her out. If there was one thing Luxurious was good at, and there were very few, there was how closely she kept to her schedule, and she always made time to yell at Ditzy. 6:30, start 2 hours of grooming in case someone handsome walks in. 9, complain at breakfest about how terrible we were yesterday. 9:50, spa's opening soon, yell at me to get up. 10:00, yell at me about how we have VIPs. Guess everyone counts. 10:01, yell at me about how i need to do a fantastic job instead of the obvoiously terrible job i do each day. Like anyone complains... She glanced at the clock. Ah! lets get on to the next step! My favorite!
"...and if that happens again, your FIRED!" Ditzy groaned. She once offered a muffin to a very regal man and he had accepted. Luxurious was angry at her for "taking away her chance". Apparently she ignored the wife, whom Ditzy also gave a muffin. That was two years ago.
She didn't know why Luxurious bothered. She was starting to sag. At 60, Luxurious was quite the elder, yet she fussed over every little detail about her body. Her gray mane was combed to a razor sharp point. Her currently yellow fur (she died it every year, and at this point Ditzy had no idea what it was originally) was so well trimmed it was barely there, yet there enough to cover her crusting body. Her eyelashes were obviously fake, long enough to reach up to her worry-lined forehead. Ditzy sighed. I have to admit, she does look ok... but why does she even bother anymore? Oh well, another day, another bit. Luxurious was winding down. only a few minutes, then she would "evaluate strategies" (nap) in her "office" (bed) while "mumbling ideas to complex for her poor brain" (snore loudly)
"Now then, I'm leaving."
And now for her to... wait. "WHAT?" She was shocked; nothing ever changed ever. Luxurious leaving the house was just... fantastic.
"You heard me! I'm leaving." Luxurious picked up on Ditzy's obvious glee. She wasn't hiding it to well; she could practically hear herself squee. "I'm to go to the castle and help Princess Celestia set up a... wonderful little spa for the castle servents." Luxurious sneered. "Can you believe it? A full Spa? For servents? Why, in my day, Princess Celestia had more of a backb-"
Ditzy tuned her out. At this point it was easy. Commonplace. What Luxurious had just said was not... Yet it was amazing! Wait. "But, if your leaving, who's running the spa?"
Luxurious looked angry she had interrupted. A sly smile slowly creeped across her face. "Why, my widdle filly of course! Oh, she'll do such a good job! And im sure" she said, her stare intensifying to the point of criminal delight, "that anything going wrong could not POSSIBLY be her fault!"
Oh no. No no no no NO. Contrary to Darwins Law, Luxurious did have spawn. Her name was Silk Mane, and she was worse then her mother. But no, she didn't just have the attitude of her mother, no. She had the looks to boot. Every Stallion her ever walked into Dinky's bathes went on and on about her; "She has such a GORGEOUS yellow mane!" "Oh, have you seen her hooves?" "Her face is so smooth, she must have a mud mask everyday!" "what a wonderful coat! such a beautiful shade of purple!" Blech.
"Anyway, i don't expect anyone high profile today, so i'm sure you can't completely screw everything up!" Luxurious's face turned to a smirk. Her tone became condescending. "I'm sure you can handle one measly wittle day, can't you?" She glanced at the clock. "Oh, but i'm to be off! Ta ta!" And with that, she skipped out the door, whistling a tune half an octave off as she went.
"Hello... Derpy "
Ditzy's blood turned cold. "My name," she managed to growl out, "is ditzy ."
Silk stood near her tubs, crunching on one of Ditzy's signature muffins. Her voice ringed with sarcasm. Oh, i know. But your ever so clumsy! its such a shame!" Silk casually walked past her, knocking over one her bath soaps with a casual flick of the tail. "Oops. You know, it's too bad your parents are leaving town! Why, if i didn't know how I bet they just want to get away from yo-" The bell rang. The days first customer. Silk shot her one last dirty look ringed with a sarcastic smile and left. Ditzy thanked Celestia, and prayed Luxurious was being anything but herself infront of her Princess. Or... Queen. Or... something. You know, i've always wondered why we only have a princess. i me-
Her thoughts were cut off by a howling shriek from Silk. "SAPPHIRE SHORES!"
Ditzy was stunned. She thought Luxurious had said NO high profile guests. Well, now what am i supposed to do? Ditzy's thoughts were turning frantic. I didn't have my morning muffin! I can't be grumpy in front of the pony of pop!
Sapphire walked straight into the bathing room, Followed by everypony who worked in the spa... and a few who didn't
"Hello Ms. Ditz-ZY! I hear you give the best bathes in ALL of Equestria!" Silks face turned pale. Ditzy could only imagine what she was thinking, although she didn't want to think about it.
Well. Ditzy sighed and fixed her slouchy posture. This was going to be an interesting day.
There's Accidents and There's Incidents
"So, let me get this straight." Dinky's eyes were starting to close. A yawn penetrated her defenses. Derpy knew she couldn't stay awake much longer. "You gave the pony of... of... zzzzzz..." Peaceful rest. Derpy slowly walked out of the room... and tripped on a toy with a crash.
"POP!" Dinky's eyes shot open again.
So close.
"You gave the PONY OF POP, THE one and only SAPPHIRE SHORES... A BATH?!?!?"
Derpy walked back over near the bed, rubbing her head. "Yep." And ow.
"What was she like? Was she absolutely fabulous? Did she sing for you? Did she like your signature muffins? Did sh-"
"Shhh... If you want to know," Derpy yawned out, "you have to keep listening." Dinky quieted down again. Derpy was being totally honest with herself; she wasn't sure she wanted her filly to know what happened next. But at this point, she had no choice.
THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!
Ditzy was absolutely ecstatic! Not only had Sapphire Shores walked into her bathes, not only had she said that all her friends told her that she gave the most relaxing cleansing's in Equestria, and not only had she loved Ditzy's muffins...
But she hates Silk Mane almost as much as I do! Well... maybe a quarter as much as I do.
It was true. Silk had made a complete fowl of herself. First, she had stepped on Sapphire's shoe. Then, she would not stop asking any and every question. But to top it all off, when Sapphire chowed down on one of Ditzy's muffins, Silk, with all the calm of a hurricane, stalked out of the room... But not before accidently slipping on the bath soaps she had knocked over earlier!
"If there's one thing i hate," Sapphire said, licking her hooves to get the last bits of Ditzy's muffins, "its a..." she paused. Then, her eyes lit up like her dress and she broke out into verse.
"Shes a mean little filly,
Best. Day. Ever.
Of course, all good things come to an end. After Sapphire left, paying Ditzy quite the generous tip, she didn't even have the time to drain the tub before Silk came storming in. "YOU. " Sapphires music played softly in the background on a gramaphone.
Ditzy did her best to look innocent. She couldn't hide her grin though. "Me?"
"YOU. YOU MADE SAPPHIRE SHORES HATE ME." Ditzy could see the steam coming out of Silk's ears. She knew that what she really needed to do was diffuse the ticking timebomb that was her current boss. She knew. She didn't particularly care.
"Uh, i just gave her a bath. Last time i checked," Ditzy picked up a bottle of shampoo, checking the ingredients, "yeah, there isn't any Vitamin Hate in this ." She held out the bottle, as if meaning for Silk to look for herself.
"I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID." A crowd was gathering. "YOU'RE FIRED." Silk turned to the group, triumphant.
"Uh... you cant do that." Ditzy figured she might as well have a little fun before she stopped Silk from doing anything stupid. "My job performance is great, every customer is satisfied, and i've done nothing wrong." Ditzy held out the bulging bag of bits Sapphire had given her. "See?" Sapphire's song moved into the chorus.
Silk was just getting angrier. "WELL! I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE THOSE!" She moved closer to Ditzy, reaching for the bag.
Ditzy easily pulled it away from her. "You also can't do that. Tips are divided, and yes, while some will go to you, most of this belongs to everyone in the Spa." Someone in the crowd cheered. Silk was starting to look desperate. She made a grab for the bag and fell on the floor. Ditzy actually started to feel sorry for her; she looked pathetic. She started to shiver and placed her hands over her head.
Ditzy moved closer to help. She never saw it coming.
Silk had fallen on one of Ditzy's more chemical shampoos, one with a pump at the top. Her thoughts went cold and she knew what she wanted to do. She squeezed the bottle a little, tensing.
When Ditzy was close enough, Silk sprange up at her.
The spray was dead on. Ditzy fell backwards, her eyes burning as if on fire.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ditzy screamed; She did NOT want her eyeballs cleaned. Voices floated nearby.
"Oh my god!"
"Quick, grab her!"
"Is Ditzy ok?"
"She finally snapped..."
"Someone get help!"
"Whats happening with Ditzy's eyes?!?"
Sapphires song came to a exciting conclusion.
Ditzy's mind gave her a break and she passed into a black void.
"Ditzy..."
"Ditzy..."
"DITZY!"
A faint light came back into Ditzy's eyes. Something was wrong. "Wha... WHY CAN'T I SEE?" She would have sprung up if two firm hooves hadn't pinned her down.
"Relax! Ditzy! They bandaged your eyes! You'll be fine! Your in the hospital!"
"Who... Who is that?" Ditzy was scared. Last thing she remembered, there was a frosting food fight (Ditzy loved her FFF's)... or... something.
The strange horse talked again. Ditzy was pretty sure he was a... Stallion? "I brought you in here. Your eyes were damaged due to a maniac. Don't worry, they're perfectly fine. The doctors here are the best in Equestria."
A thought popped into Ditzy's head. "Wait, If they're so great, why would they bandage my eyes? They're chemicals, its not like my eyes are damaged, they just need to be rinsed out quickly."
Silence. "Yeah, about that... you were taken into surgery."
"WHAT?"
"Turns out those bottles pack a wallop. The manufacturers are being questioned as we speak, and it looks like they'll be fined and shut down for releasing harmful products into civilian lives." Ditzy was stunned.
"But... How did i get here?"
"Oh, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Mystic. Mystic Guard. I was walking around the market today when i heard someone screaming for help. I was first on the scene. Your friends told me what had happened, and as other City Guards arrived, i commanded them to take..." There was a pause and a rustling of papers. "Silk... Mane into custody. I carried you to the hospital and watched over you while you recovered."
"You watched over me?" Despite her panicked feelings, Ditzy giggled a little. "Thats pretty creepy. I thought psychos weren't allowed on the city guard."
She heard Mystic laugh. It was a nice laugh. "Yeah, well, i'm the exception. You may be glad to hear that due to reports from several other employees in the spa about management, we arrested Luxiorious for abuse and neglect. Shes the one paying for your hospital bills and rent while you recover."
Ditzy sighed, ready to fall asleep, thankful for this strange but nice pony to watch over her... but a thought sprang into her mind. She shivered with fear.
"But... What do i do now?"
END OF PART ONE. (Part two begins tomorrow, don't worry.)
The Eyes. The Eyyyyyyesss
"So..." Dinky looked a little bit shocked. Derpy wasn't quite sure what to say. "... What happened next?"
"Well, i had to go job hunting."
"JOB HUNTING?" Dinky's face exploded into smiles. "What is THAT? Did you hit postal offices with pies?"
"Heh. No, Job hunting is just finding a job. Normally, ponies just get a job relating to their cutie mark, but..."
"What do you mean, no spa will hire you?" Mystic Guard had a look on his face like he'd just heard he himself had been fired. He and Ditzy were sitting at a café near the castle grounds.
"It means that all the spas believe that my new eyes have decreased my dexterity permanently." Derpy has absent-mindedly nosing her salad; she wasn't sure what to do. She remembered when she had first learned about her disability.
It took her 3 days to get out of the hospital. after the second day, they carefully removed her bandages, and she saw Mystic for the first time. He was a unicorn, and the least regal looking guard she had ever seen. His stance had a slouch. When he wasn't slouching, he was leaning, and when he wasn't leaning, he sat down. It didn't matter though; His coat was a beautiful dark blue with a complementing purple mane. His eyes were a sizzling red.
He was kind enough. Pulling a few strings, he managed to secure Ditzy a room in the castle until she had found more permanent residence.
The problem was finding the residence.
Ditzy's eyes had... changed.
When the bandages were removed, she noticed a slight shift in her vision immediately. her nose was more prominent... she could see the entire thing without even thinking about it. Mystic couldn't help but let out a small sigh. "Your eyes... they're uh... they're pointing towards your nose."
Ditzy called... well, shrieked, for a mirror. Mystic calmed her down. "I have one... i knew you would want to see."
Her eyes were pointed at her nose... one pointing up, one pointing down. It was a creepy effect. After a few eye exams, her doctor filled her in.
"It is simply astounding!" He looked at his various charts. "Yes, yes, you have lost some peripheral vision..." He flipped a page. "Oh. A lot of peripheral vision."
Ditzy was confused. "Uh... Peripheral vision is...?"
The doctor looked up, a slightly suprised look on his face. "What? Oh! I'm sorry. That's a knew term. It means how much you can see around you." He looked back at his chart. "Normal horse peripheral vision is 350 degrees, but yours has been reduced to about 180 degrees. This means your ability to look behind you has been heavily modified. However, while you normally have a 100 degree peripheral vision for looking vertically, you can now see 200 degrees, meaning that your actually very well suited for flying as you can much more easily see things below and above you."
"Uh... could you speak pony?"
The doctor moved his hoof in-between his eyeballs with a loud smack. "... You can't see as much left and right, you can see more up and down. Better?"
"Much bet-... Wait a minute. So... I can no longer see behind me?"
"You have to turn around. I'm sorry Ditzy, but in purely medical terms, you are disabled."
"Since i'm disabled, none of the spas will hire me. They think i'll just mess everything up and that my eyes will scare away customers." Ditzy was nearing depression. "What can i do when i cant do my cutie mark?"
"Well... you could look around. I'm sure there are plenty of jobs out there that will accept disabled ponies!"
"No, Mystic. The problem isn't finding a job that will accept a disabled pony..." Ditzy sighed. Realizing how weak she looked, she stared directly into Mystics eyes. The red burned fiercely. "The problem is finding a job that doesn't need a cutie-mark."
Ditzy at least tried. She searched long and hard. She looked at bakeries, but they said, "No, we cannot have any clumsiness in the kitchen." She looked at Restaurants, but they said, "No, you must be as graceful as a summer breeze." She even looked at being a garbage collector, but they said, "No. Yeh aren't strong enough kid. *Ptooie. Bing!*" Ditzy walked away... Now fully depressed, she tuned out the world, only slightly aware of some yelling involving spit and a mailbox or something. That's when it hit her. The one profession she hadn't tried. The one profession she was too scared to think of. The profession where very few of her dreams would come true.
"MAIL!"
"WHAT? YEAH, IT WAS FINE UNTIL THIS YOUNG HOOLIGAN SPIT IN IT. YOU WORK AT THE POST OFFICE?"
Ditzy flew long and hard, over the streets, over the houses, over someone yelling about mail. She realized she was flying in circles, and corrected her course. It took her 2 minutes to get to the post office. She entered it with a loud bang, and the bored Stallion behind the counter looked up in shock. "Uh... can i help you?"
"I would like a job!"
The stallion, called Paper Mache, didn't know how to react. "Wait, you actually want to work at the post office?"
Ditzy was concerned. The stallion looked surprised. What could possibly be worrying him? "What, people don't want to?" The leaning stack of boxes she may have plowed into (but will deny doing so to this day) fell around her.
Mache groaned. Then he looked at her flank. "Wait. Uh... Your cutie-mark is... What's your cutie-mark?"
"Doesn't matter, am i hired?"
"Uh... do you have a resum-... Wait a second. Are you Ditzy Doo? The spa bather?" Mache's face lit up like a... light.
"...yes?"
"I ate one of your muffins! They were delicious!" Ah! A past customer!
"Thanks!... So am i hired?"
"Uh... hm. I actually think i have your resume here. A unicorn dropped it off. Name was Mystical or something... A-ha! Here we go."
"And...?" Ditzy waited with hopeful ears and vibrating hooves.
"Wait. Is this peripheral vision thing true?"
And that's it. Chance blown. She would wonder why that was on her resume later, just better get out of the building. "Oh, uh... yeah... i am so sorry about that, its jus-"
"THATS AMAZING! We start training tommorrow! Bring muffins!"
"So THAT'S how you became a mailstallion!" Dinky was on the edge of the bed. Derpy mocked an offended expression.
"Ahem?"
"Oh, sorry, mailmare." Dinky rolled her eyes.
It was Ditzy's first day of training. She and Paper Mache were flying around Canterlot. Mache was teaching her the basics of being employed by the postal service. Ditzy was using her wonderful ability to tune people out.
"...which means we're banned from it. Anyway, being a mailstallion..."
Ditzy snapped back to attention and mocked an offended expression. "Ahem?"
Mache paused. It took him a moment to realize what he had done. He rolled his eyes and corrected himself. "...being a mailMARE, you need to know how to fly carefully."
Ditzy rolled one of her eyes and flipped onto her back. "Psh, careful is my middle name. Ditzy. Careful. Do-" Thats when she collided with the vegetable cart. It toppled over, spilling the vendors goods onto the street.
"MY CABBAGES!"
Ditzy quickly corrected herself and caught up to Mache. He was laughing histariously. "That never happened."
Mache wiped tears away from his eyes and managed to continue. "Right, anyway, lets just go over the route." He finally calmed himself as he pulled out a map from his saddle bag."The maps pretty complicated, take a look."
Canterlot was known as the most annoying city for pegasi ever. Most houses were no-fly-zones, others were guarded, and the rare few that were fine to fly past were clogged with sky-traffic. "Now this is our start point." Mache pointed to a small house on the outskirts of town. "And then we go... here, here, here, here, here..." His hoof zigzagged all over the map. "...here, and... here. Now, most ponies take weeks to memorize all the twists and turns, so take a rough crack at explaining to me whatever i just said."
Ditzy looked over at him with a confused look. "What are you talking about? That wasn't complicated. All you need to do is this, this, this..." After fully tracing the route, she looked back at Mache. His face was in awe.
"Read that again." Ditzy nevously retraced the route. Mache was staring directly at her face.
"Um... What are you doing...?"
Shock spread onto Maches face, followed closely by awe. "Do... Do you realize what your eyes are doing?"
Ditzy looked quietly to the ground. Her first real chance at a job was also ruined by her stupid derpy eyes. "Oh, they're acting weird again aren't they... I'm so sorry, i'll just go."
"Wait! No no no! Stay here! Let me explain what just... happened." Mache's eyes panned left and right, seeming to search the air for the words his mind lacked. "Your eyes are... well, they're looking at different parts of the map." Noticing Ditzy's confusion, he tried another word. "They're scanning it. Connecting the different points. Its... Hard to explain." He pushed the map in front of her again. "Here, try to notice it this time."
Ditzy scanned the map. She suddenly noticed the distinct difference in her vision. "Wait a second. Tell me..." She pointed to two points on the map. "these are... right next to each other... right?"
Mache glanced over between his wing flaps. His face was pensive. "Those are on opposite ends of the map."
"Huh. I guess i just connect th-" Ditzy connected into the side of the barn.
Mache glanced back. "SORRY?" He yelled back in a sarcastic tone. "YOU CONNECT THE WHAT?"
Ditzy thought her cutie mark might end up changing into a headache. "The..." She sighed. "Dots."
"If I knew how it worked, I would tell you. It just clicks, you know?" Ditzy was trying to tell Mystic about her newfound ability. It turns out it wasn't just maps; Diagrams, drawings, she could even look at pictures and perfectly analyze them.
"Well, maybe you should talk to Princess Celestia." Mystic stuffed a roll into his mouth. "Fee migft felt joo."
Ditzy giggled a little. "Mystic!" Her voice turned sarcastically regal. "Didn't your nanny tell you about chewing with your mouth full?"
Mystic managed to swallow his roll. "I said, she might help you."
Ditzy looked down. She quietly whispered to herself, "But... I don't... I don't need..."
Mystic looked up from his plate. "What was that?"
"I said," Ditzy explained, feeling more confident, "I don't need help anymore!" She laughed to herself. "I'm the best darn map-reader in all of equestria! I feel on top of the world!" She knocked over Mystic's glass. "Oops."
Mystic managed a smirk. "Well, at least you've got job security then!"
Ditzy giggled to herself. "Yeah, i guess i do. I feel like I could take on anything now!"
Mystic's smirk widened into a smile. "Well, not everything."
Ditzy started to flap her wings to look bigger. "Oh yeah? Name the time and the place."
"Hmm..." Mystic turned pensive, and started to look shy. "How about the theater? At... say... 8?"
"Sure! What am i gonna do? Act? Sing? Dance?"
Mystic smiled. "Oh, much harder. You're going to go on a date with me."
Ditzy's face turned to shock. Mystic's smile faded. "That is, you know, if you want to." He looked down at his plate. What have i done?
He looked back up to Ditzy. She was literally vibrating. Her smile covered her whole face. "Uh... Ditzy? Are you ok?" She kept vibrating in her seat, wings pinned to her side. Mystic prodded her with his hoof, and he swears to this day she dissapeared. "Ditzy? DITZY?" He looked around panicked. Then he heard something in the distance above him.
"WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
He looked up just in time to see Ditzy disappear behind a cloud. Alright Mystic, just take that as a yes.
"ewwwww."
Derpy looked at her filly. One of her eyes had been absent mindedly staring at the ceiling, the other looking at her favorite lava lamp. "What is it?"
Dinky looked over to her mom, her face seeming to be half sad, half sarcastic. Derpy would question how that was possible later. "Do we have to go over the kissing part?"
"Someday you may not mind so much."
Ditzy fiddled with her evening muffin. "Skip to Ponyville, that sounds good."
"Oh... all right..." She would reminisce later.
I can't believe what's going on. How is this happening?
A full two years had passed since Ditzy's and Mystic's first date, and Ditzy was having trouble keeping up with the rapid fire changes that had happened. First, they were married. Pretty big change. Second, Ditzy was pregnant. Also a massive change. But third, and this was the biggest shock for Ditzy...
I still can't believe that i like chocolate chip muffins more now then blueberry now...
Oh, there was also the fact that she revolutionized Mache's business, handed him a mail monopoly in Canterlot on a silver platter, and was now being sent to Ponyville to head a new branch. But the muffin thing was probably the biggest deal for her.
After a few hours of travel, the conductor was finally walking through the cars of the train. "All right everybody! We'll be entering Ponyville in two minutes! Get your bags ready! Get your bags ready!" Ditzy slowly looked up from her bed. Mystic was already on the move; years as a royal guard had that effect on ponies.
"Mystic, your really being too kind. I'm not completely helpless." just... mostly. An involuntary sigh escaped Ditzy's lips. Ever since her third month of pregnancy, her doctor ordered her grounded until the baby was born and she had recovered.
If Mystic did notice her sigh, he made no comment. "I know that dear... but..." He grunted and set down Ditzy's bag. She calmly reached inside of it. "I'm only in Ponyville until your all set up with the baby at home, and i need to know your going to be ok." Ditzy's hoof carefully pulled out one of her muffins. "I'm not going to be here forever."
"I'll be fine." One bite. "Ifs nof fike fi'm fefensefess" Two. And the muffin was gone.
"I know that, but your 342 days pregnant. The baby is due any moment, and you need to be ready."
Ditzy looked over her husband. Time and worry had not been kind to him. His blue coat was ruffled. His Purple mane had hairs poking out in every direction. His once firey red eyes had seemed to dull, and she couldn't count the bags under them. Ditzy felt bad; it was he pregnancy that turned him from royal guard to what you would call a hobo to make fun of hobo's.
"But i'm not completely useless! You just need to relax! I'm sure i'll make tons of friends who can help me out."
Mystic collapsed onto the bed. "Yeah, well, no stallions." He managed a smirk. "I'd hate to have to beat up someone in front of my wife."
"You already did that. Remember Nightmare Night?"
He rolled his eyes. "Well, he should have known your not allowed to go to the bathroom in a-" TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT "...monks. But come on honey, we're here."
Ditzy managed to walk out of the train, and took stock of her surroundings as Mystic grunted under the luggage. Ponyville. Pretty nice. Very... rustic. After a moment of looking around, and making a very important note of the location of the local bakery, Mystic nudged her. "Is that pink pony over there... is she bouncing in our direction?"
Ditzy rolled one of her eyes. "Aw, she looks friendly enough. Lets say hi!" They walked toward the strange earth pony. She was indeed bouncing... Bright pink fur complemented a poofy pink mane. her eyes were closed and her smile covered her face.
"Are you sure about this?" Mystic whispered. "Look at her cutie mark. Balloons? What the hay does a balloon cutie mark represent?"
"Aw, i'm sure it's just fine." The two parties stopped a few feet from each other. Ditzy nudged Mystic, then smiled. "Hi there. My names Ditzy and this is my husband. We were won-" It was at this point she was cut off by Mystic prodding her.
The pink pony started to... levitate? It's body seemed to be vibrating and its face turned to shock. "HUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And just like that, it dashed off.
"That was... eventful." Mystic managed to say after a few moments of stunned silence. He managed a smirk. "Seems like you two will become the best of friends.
Ditzy didn't feel willing to joke around anymore. "Oh, shut up and lets just get to the house."
After a few moments of walking, Mystic finally admitted what Ditzy thought no stallion would ever willingly admit. She was shocked by his pure honesty in such a strange situation. "Yep." He muttered. "We're lost."
They were in the middle of a nice side street with houses towering over them, and there was only three other ponies in sight. One light blue one with some stringed instrument as a cutie-mark was walking with a white pony, who was carrying some candy. Ditzy decided they were too busy talking to each-other, and decided on the third pony. "Maybe we can ask her for directions." Derpy pointed her hoof.
"Wh- oh my." Mystic started staring
She was absolutely beautiful. Perfect white coat, wonderful purple mane, glistening blue eyes. Ditzy managed to smile in a way she hoped wasn't sarcastic and smacked her husband. He didn't phase.
"Excuse me, Miss?" The unicorn turned her head with a dramatic hair flip.
"Ye- Oh! you must be the new couple! I'm Rarity, but how are you darling? Oh, i made you a dress since your new to Ponyville, but..." The pony glanced at her stomach. Her voice started to rise. "I think i may need to resize it. Your pregnant? Congratulations! Oh, darling i can make you a dress for wh-"
Yep. Everypony in this town is absolutely insane. Ditzy decided she didn't have time to deal with this strange yet admittedly beautiful pony, made up an excuse, and spat out, "Can you just tell us where our house is?" Rarity nervously pawed at the ground for a second. Mystic was still staring at Rarity. "Pregnancy mood swing. You mentioned us as 'the new couple' so your probably knew we were coming?"
"Well, not until a few minutes ago. My friend just kind of bolted past, and..." Rarity pointed directly to her right. A nice two story house stood over the group. "Uh, that's it. 1206 Lunar lane. Nice place. I, uh... I need to go." Rarity materialized a notebook from her mane and started sketching furiously as she walked off. Oh, no, if i don't hurry i'll miss the party! I think i can get in the ba- OH! How about EMERALD? And with that thought in her head, she turned a corner and disappeared. Ditzy smacked her husband again. He seemed to wake up... if only a little.
"Wha... huh?" Mystic looked around. He knew something went wrong because Ditzy was glaring at him with an intensity he had seen three times before; Once when he was meeting Ditzy's parents, once shortly after Ditzy got pregnant and he had made a snarky remark, and once when he had eaten her muffin. "Did something happen?"
"Oh... nothing." Ditzy said with a light, playful air that ringed with "We'll talk about it later you **********************"
And with a nervous swallow from Mystic (and a glare from Ditzy), they both, anything but receptive, walked straight into Pinkie's surprise party.
"So let me get this straight." Dinky was buried under her covers. All that was popping out was her horn. "The very first pony you met was Pinkie Pie?"
Derpy managed a laugh in-between rubbing her eyes. "Yep, she was the very first one to greet me... if 'greet' is the word to use."
"Wow. So you talked to only two ponies before her first party for you..."
"Yep."
"Well, THAT must have been shocking."
The house was dark as they entered. "Huh." Mystic Guard muttered. "Something seems off... GET BACK!" With a gentle shove that sent Ditzy careening towards the entrance, Mystic assumed attack pose and lit up the room with his horn. What followed, neither of them had prepared for.
"SURRRRPRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE!" The house rocketed with sound. Ditzy was almost taken off her feet, but managed to catch her balance on the door. Just as she recovered from the scream, the real lights came on and Ditzy was taken back in shock. "Hi there!" The last thing she expected to see was the strange pink pony hovering upside down before her, seeming to be held up by a confused Mystic still in his stance.
Finally, Ditzy's heart caught up. Her lungs soon followed. Her vocal cords, not so much. "Wha... bwa... huh?"
"Do you like it? eheheheh! My names Pinkie and i threw this party just for you oh cool your pregnant i've always wondered what that's like hey i'm still upside HEY CAN ANYPONY TELL ME WHY I'M UPSIDE DOWN but anyway while they process that request can you tell me what your name is before the blood rushing to my brain causes me to black out?"
"Bwah... wha..." Ditzy didn't know what else to say. she muttered the first name that came into her mind. "Name. Name... Derpy. No wait-"
"Your name's Derpy hey that's pretty cool well nice to meet you Ms. Derpy I don't know your last name how about Hooves HEY EVERYBODY MEET DERPY HOOVES i'm still upside down this is a problem i'm just gonna black out for a moment nice to meet you Ms. Derpy!" And finally, Pinkie passed out.
"Uh... i'll just set her down over here..." Mystic nervously set Pinkie Pie in a chair just off of the door as the guests gathered around them. Ditzy managed to hear a few voices from the crowd.
"Nice to meet you Derpy! My names Carrot top and i-"
"Heya Derpy! Me and Bon-Bon here were thinking-"
"Oh, Derpy! I need your opinion on your dress; Emerald or Sapphire?"
"Did somepony say my name?"
An arm grabbed her shoulder. Derpy managed to squirm in the mass and see a blue pegasis pony with a rainbow mane flying above her. It was nice to have an easy point of reference. "Hey Derpy, Why aren't you flying? Lots more room up here."
Ditzy managed to squirm and face the pony. The rest of the guests seemed to take the hint that she could only focus on one pony at a time and started to talk to each-other. "Oh, i'm grounded until the baby's delivered, for its safety and all. Also, my names actually-"
"Wait, you can't fly? Oh man, that must be TERRIBLE!" The mass finally started to clear up and the pony settled down in front of her. Another orange earthpony with a cowpony hat walked up next to them and shot the pegasis a quick glare. "Er, I mean, congratulations on the baby and all! I'm Rainbow Dash."
The orange pony sided up next to Ditzy. "And i'm Applejack. Nice to meet you partner. I've got a complementary bucket of apples with your name on it. I run an orchard just outside of town."
Rainbow Dash took this as a cue to say her job. "I myself am on weather patrol, when i'm not practicing for the one and only Wonderbolts!"
"The Wonderbolts?" Ditzy managed to stutter. "The greatest fliers in Equestria? Good luck with that."
Rainbow Dash started to look angry, Applejack giggled, and Rarity managed to get through the crowd. Ditzy was starting to get worried everypony was going to take this as the cue to walk up and introduce themselves. "Darling, I need to know- Oh! Hello Rainbow, Applejack. Excuse me, you two, but i need to talk to you about the upcoming summer sun celebration..."
Ditzy took her chance and slipped away. She started to search for Mystic, and assumed he would have tried to leave her to her mingling. After a few minutes of shoving, apologies, and introductions, she finally escaped the mass of ponies and slipped into the hallway. She carefully checked to see no-one was following, then not so carefully bumped into a strange yellow pony. "Oof! Oh, i'm sorry, I..." Ditzy took stock of the pony she had just bumped into while it babbled out apologies.
She was the definition of "Daw". Her eyes were full of sadness, as if the tiniest joke at her expense would cause her to burst into tears. She quickly covered them with her flowing pink mane as she shied away. Her coat was as bright yellow, yet despite her ability to stand out, she had slunk to the shadows. She seemed to be hiding under her wings. Ditzy had never known someone who seemed to be so sad you just wanted to hug them, yet here that pony was, pathetic in the corner.
Finally, after the stream of apologies stopped, Ditzy managed to say the least threatening thing she could think of. "Uh... hello?" No response. Ditzy turned to leave, but just managed to hear something.
"H... hi."
Ditzy whipped back around. to look at the strange pony again. one of her eyes had popped out. It was a light sheen of green. Ditzy tried to talk in the gentlest voice she could; the last thing she wanted to do was make this pony upset.
"Hello there. I'm-"
"Derpy. Derpy Hooves. Yes, Pinkie announced it. I'm sorry to have bothered you please excuse me." And with that the pony disappeared back into the room with the mass of ponies.
Everypony in this town is either insane, adorable, or... double insane I guess. Now, where is that- Her thoughts were cut out by a sudden jab of pain, and she slipped to the ground with a yelp. "Why is this floor wet? it was dry just a second ago! It-" a thought entered her head. Her eyes went wide. "MYSSSSTIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCC!"
A sudden blur of purple and he was above her. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Why is the floor wet?"
With a gasp and another sharp pain, Ditzy managed to spit out, "My water just broke!"
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Mystic was nervously patrolling in front of the delivery room. Ditzy had just gone into the final stage of labor, and the doctors had forced him out. I bet she's doing just fine... A scream of pain echoed from the room and Mystic jumped. The screaming means nothing she's fine she's definitely fine oh sweet Celestia please let Ditzy be fine...
Mystic had fallen asleep when the nurse came. "Hey... Hey mister... Hey... Listen!" Mystic's eye opened to a slit, and then he shot up with such force the nurse involuntarily yelped.
"Is she okay? What happened? What's going on? Is the baby okay? What species is it?" The Nurse just pointed him to the delivery room door, now ajar. Taking his chance, Mystic barged through. He only caught a glimpse of Ditzy before the Doctor moved in front of her, cleaning. He looked up when Mystic slammed the door open.
"Hello sir! It's a girl! You must be proud- OOF!" Mystic pushed him out of the way, and he collided softly into the nurse who had just caught up to Mystic. They sprawled to the ground and Mystic finally saw the new-born.
She was adorable. She had a light purple coat with a yellow mane and tail, and her eyes were closed. She looked so tiny in her mother's arms. Such a small creature... so... well, dinky.
"Hi honey!" Ditzy finally looked up after allowing him to gawk for a while. Her mane seemed a little frazzled, but other than that she was smiling like there was no tomorrow. The doctor and nurse managed to stand up, trying their best not to be mad.
Mystic smiled and went back to the filly. "I don't see wings... And i can't find a horn... So is she an Earth Pony?"
"What? Oh, here!" Ditzy pushed back a section of the baby's mane, revealing a tiny purple horn hidden amongst the sea of yellow. "Our daughter's a unicorn!" Ditzy smiled up at Mystic. Mystic stood proudly by her side. The filly opened up her small eyes. They were yellow.
"And that's how Equestria was made!"
"What?"
"Great story. Remind me later to tell you the story about how you were born!" Dinky managed a laugh, but it was shortly followed by a yawn. "Now, i think its time for somepony to get to sleep."
"Daw, but-"
"No buts. You need your rest." Dinky looked like she was going to argue, but very obviously choose just to feign sleep.
Derpy slowly creaked the door to a close. A voice came from her right. "Interesting story."
"Eep! Oh... Mystic! You shouldn't be on the floor!" Mystic was lying next to the door frame, and his head was resting between his legs. He started to stand up.
"Well, I heard you telling Dinky our story, and I couldn't help but listen in. I didn't want to enter though, otherwise I thought I would have just interrupted the story."
"Fair enough. Come on, let's go to bed ourselves. Dinky's going to follow is in just a second. Now, how much longer are you in Ponyville?"
They inched towards their own bedroom, just a few doors up the hall. "Only a couple of days. I'm hear to celebrate Dinky's birthday, but then i must get back to Canterlot. There's a royal wedding coming up for Princess Cadence and Twilight Sparkle's brother, Shining Armor." They both heard the tell-tale creak of Dinky's door opening.
"Well hey, you could bring Dinky! She loved Cadence back on our last visit to Canterlot, and she likes Twilight, So why not?"
"I'll... consider... it." A heavy yawn penetrated his defenses.
Ditzy managed a smile before yawning herself. "let's just get to bed. We can discuss the wedding tomorrow."
"Do I get a say?" Dinky bounced up on Mystic's back. "Can I go can I go can I go?"
Mystic creaked the door to their bedroom open. Derpy followed and Dinky bounced onto the bed. "Let's just get some rest. We can discuss it in the morning." Derpy collapsed to the left of Dinky and Mystic fell along the right.
And together, they all fell peacefully asleep.
THE END