Bowlcakes

by benger

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Applejack
Length: 1595

Pinkie's cooking causes unholy results

Pinkie Pie loves baking, but when she discovers she is missing a crutial tool, she makes a decision that all of Equestria might soon regret.

note: not a cupcakes derivative.

Published 2011-12-24 14:45:06 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-24 14:45:06 UTC

Part 1

“So I was making cupcakes for Gummy and I took a bowl and a spoon and then put in the flower and the sugar and the water and the milk and eggs, and the sugar, did I mention the sugar? I put a lot of sugar. Mr. and Ms. Cake keep telling me that I’m using too much sugar, they say that I shouldn’t go through a whole five pound sack every day, but what can I say, I LOVE sugar. It just so sweet and tasty and it makes everything better! And it makes the cupcakes so good; It’s like my secret ingredient. And everypony loved my cupcakes, and I would know, I know everypony pony in Ponyville! You know one time a pony didn’t like my cup-“

“Pinkie! I asked you about your confectionary creations! They could be on the verge of becoming munchie monstrosities!” Twilight yelled, cutting the pink pony off

Pinkie continued without taking a breath. “Oh right, well after I added more sugar, and I mixed it all together, I tasted it and was like, this needs more sugar, so I added more sugar, and I thought it was perfect, but Gummy thought there was too much sugar. Come to think of it, I don’t know really know how a cupcake can be to too sugary, it is a cupcake after all, it’s supposed to have a ton of sugar. But the cupcakes were for Gummy, so once I made it less sugary I turned on the oven to the perfect temperature for cupcakes and was going to put the batter in the cupcake tins, but they weren’t anywhere! Gummy and I looked all around, in the cubberds, under the sink, even under the ponies who were eating! But I couldn’t find any and then I said to gummy I don’t know what to do, you can’t make cupcakes without cupcake tins! Gummy just looked back at me and then he looked at the bowl and I was all like Gummy, you’re a genius! I can just put the cupcake batter and the bowl in the oven together! So I opened the oven and put the bowl in and I started thinking, if the cupcakes aren’t in cups, then they aren’t cupcakes. So what would these be. They must be bowlcakes cuz cupcakes are made in cups, and this is made in a bowl, so it’s a bowlcake! I still haven’t told Mr. and Ms. Cake about my bowcake, we could sell and I bet everypony would buy them, and then they would get popular and then we would open a shop in Canterlot, and then Mr. and Ms. Cake would need to go there to run the new shop and I would get to run Sugarcube Corner!”

Twilight gave pinkie an annoyed look

“Right, back on topic, it took forever for the bowlcake to be done, and it actually made some weird noises while it was baking. At first I was worried but then I remembered that cupcakes do some pretty weird things too. Anyhoo, once it was done Gummy and I took it out of the oven and turned it over and a dome shaped bowlcake popped out of the bowl and I put frosting on it and wrote Happy Seven Thirteenths Birthday Gummy! And I cut a piece for myself and one for gummy and we both tasted it and I said it tasted amazing then I asked Gummy and he just looked back at me but I knew he loved it! They were almost as good as cupcakes. Well it tasted like cupcakes but it was in dome form which made it absolutely tasterific, and then I took another piece, and soon I ate the whole thing but Gummy didn’t mind cuz he has a small tummy anyhow.

For the first time since she started talking, Pinkie pike took a breath.

While we were eating Gummy and I were talking about the bowlcake and I had an amazing Idea. I started wondering if I could make cupcakes in other stuff like plates or spoons or sporks or shoes! Although probably not shoes, they smell funny and I don’t really know where I would get shoes, ponies don’t really wear shoes, well we do, but you can’t really cook a shoecake inside of a horse shoe, it doesn’t have an inside! Why do we call them horse shoes anyhow, we are ponies after all. What is a horse anyhow?”

Twilight opened her mouth to explain, but Pinkie Pike continued talking before Twilight could make a sound

“Gummy didn’t know what a horse was either, but I soon forgot about that cuz I had to make cupcakes that weren’t cupcakes because they weren’t made in cups! So first I made a spooncake and it tasted really good but it was too small. It was like a mini cupcake. Then Gummy suggested that I make a lot of spooncakes and we could eat them like chips, but I haven t done that yet, but I made a platecake which was really thin, it was like a pancake cupcake but it wasn’t as good as the paint-bucketcake that I made next. After I made a chocolate chip bottle cake, but I had to break the bottle to get it out. Gummy didn’t like that one. And then Rainbow Dash flew in and asked me what I was doing and if I wanted to do any pranks and I said no cuz I was busy making cupcakes that aren’t cupcakes because there not made in cups, they’re made in bowls or spoons or shoes. Then Dashie asked what a shoe was but instead of answering I gave her a piece of vanilla strawberry bowlcake and she said it was really good and I said that I know and she said that all of our other friends should try it so I gave her a bowl cake and some spoon cakes and she left and then I started making more batter which I turned into bowlcakes and you ran in and asked me what the hay I was doing messing with the balance of confectionary magic and I said I had no clue what you were talking about and you told me to tell you what would drive me to create such abominations and I said So I was making cupcakes for Gummy and I took a bowl and a spoon and then put in the flower and the sugar and the water and the milk and eggs, and the sugar, did I mention the sugar? I put a lot of sugar. Mr. and Ms. Cake keep telling me-“

“Ok Pinkie, I get the Idea” Twilight said, trying to stop her friends rant. “But Pinkie, you need to stop, NOW. There are laws against this! And for good reason! You’re disrupting the balance of baked goods in this universe, do you know what could happen!”

Pinkie sat on her haunches, seemingly deep in thought. Just as Twilight was about to get worried he friend sprang up asking “Do you know what could happen?”

“Of course I know what could happen! Everypony knows what could happen! You learn it in school, it’s mandatory, by law, Celestia mandated it many millennia ago!” Twilight yelled, furious at her friend’s ignorance.

“Oh twilight, you’re a silly filly, I didn’t go to school, I grew up on a rock farm. Rock farms don’t have schools.”

Twilight sat in front of her pink friend, dumb founded, unable to respond. The silence was broken by a low rumbling, coming from the bakeries kitchen

“Pinkie what’s that?” Twilight said while pointing at the Cake’s industrial oven. The front was bowing out while partially cooked batter was pushing out through the newly created gaps. The natter pushed the door farther and farther, bending and straining the metal it was crafted from.

“Oh, that’s my newest not a cupcake creation, it’s going to sweet-tabulous!” Pinkie said at lightning speed. “I went to Sweet Apple Akers and got some apple and then found a really big bowl, it was like five times the size of a normal bowl and made a massive apple cinnamon bowl cake!”

The two ponies watched as the latch on the top of the oven door broke from the immense pressure and the whole door hit the ground with a rattle. The batter continued expanding out of the oven, rumbling and burbling as pockets air escaped its surface, filling the bakery with a sickly sweet sent. It a matter of minutes the batter’s expansion outgrew the oven and it fell out as a single mass. To Twilight’s surprise it continued moving and growing as it sat on the tile floor. The batter looked as if it was alive, struggling to move itself toward sources of heat, flower, and other confectionary necessities. It enveloped a whole bag of flower, boosting its already alarming growth

“Pinkie, this is bad, do you know what you done?!” Twilight asked Pinkie as they bolted out of the bakery
They stood back in horror as batter started to pour out off all of the bakeries openings.

“I’ve created a horrifically tasty apple cinnamon bowlcake monster that will destroy Ponyville and possibly all of Equestria?” Pinkie responded, her voice bouncy and void of the worry expected of a prophesy of doom.
“No you don’t –“ Twilight jabbed, assuming Pinkie would have no understanding of the situation. “Well yes, that’s exactly what’s going to happen” Twilight added, surprised as the accuracy of Pinkie’s statement