Trials and Tribulations

Chapters

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Twelve

Chapter One

Chapter One: No rest for the wicked

Seth was just like any adult human male. He worked for a living, had a wife and a kid, paid his taxes, and tried to keep himself out of trouble. The difference was, he was only 18. He had seen the best and worst that life had to offer him, yet he was unconvinced that, at that point and time, it could get any worse. You see, he had a wife and had a kid. His bitch of an ex-wife was a gold digger, that is, she only married Seth for his money.

Seth was an entrepreneur in the medical industry, the medical marijuana industry to be exact. His background was sketchy, a twice convicted pot grower father and a psychologically unstable mother led Seth to understand that the thin blue line wasn't that thin after all. After his dad taught Seth the, erm, family business, Seth went out into the world to make his mark and to help people cope with the various debilitating diseases out there. He believed his alternative to morphine and Botox, THC, was far better for the human body and would even start to reverse the effects of Multiple Sclerosis and some types of Cancer.

Seth wasn't happy though. His ex-wife bribed the judge and won the lawsuit following the divorce, taking half of everything he owned, and only letting him see his daughter every second weekend. He knew that he should have waited until he was older and more world weary before he got into a commitment such as marriage, but he was pressured by his employers to 'marry the bitch' before the child was born. They said bastard kids were something they avoided at all costs.

So, as Seth was heading to pick up his daughter, his mind was weighed down with darker thoughts than usual. He was remorseful for his daughter had to have gone through. Remorse was followed by regret. He regretted ever meeting the stupid cunt. Regret was followed by anger. He wanted to make his ex-wife disappear of the face of the Earth. He grinned evilly. He would make her pay for all the hardship and trouble she put both him and their daughter through.

He stopped abruptly, not realizing he did so in a busy intersection. What am I doing? he thought to himself. I can't commit a murder, even if the blood isn't on my hands. Fuck me, I wish I could just start over. Have a different life, a better one.

As he was thinking this, a school bus came careening around a corner and blew through the red light in the intersection, right into the pondering Seth.

Little did Seth know, for it was too late for him to notice or care, the school bus had been hijacked earlier that day without anyone noticing. Seth's daughter, Zyre, was on that particular bus which was just coming back to school after a field trip to the museum. No one questioned the fact that the bus driver was different from last time, nor the fact that he had some difficulty controlling the bus. Her teacher noticed something awry and stood up to go talk to the new bus driver, but before she could say anything the bus driver pulled a .45 and told everyone to sit down, shut up, or he'd blow the teacher's brains out.

All the kids on the school bus started screaming and before the hijacker could say a word or cock his gun, he hit something with enough force to almost completely halt the bus. Kids were thrown left and right, the teacher was knocked unconscious, and the hijacker had his neck broken from the steering wheel, paralyzing him for life. As police and ambulances arrived, the children were led out of the bus and onto the sidewalk. Zyre looked at what stopped the bus, and cried out in shock.

"DAD!"

Seth didn't notice though. He was too far gone to be saved, according to the paramedics. As they loaded Seth into the ambulance to be taken to the morgue, they listed off his features.

"Male, 6'1, about 175, brown hair cut short, green-grey eyes, freshly shaven, designer suit. Remarkable little damage considering he was hit by a bus. Looks like a big business type, but he only looks to be about 22, 23."

The paramedics checked his suit for a wallet. They found it and opened it.

"Says here he's only 18. Doesn't even have his driver's license yet. Must've been one of those mensa-genius types. Christ, he looks more world weary than some of the 30 year old gang bangers we've zipped up."

The other paramedic nodded and said, "Hopefully he's in a better place now. Poor kid deserves some rest."

The first paramedic was going to say something clever like 'There ain't no rest for the wicked' but before he could make a sound, a multi-spectrum coloured light bloomed from the man's chest, right where his heart was. The colour swirled and grew, engulfing the man in its fiery aura. Before the paramedics could utter a curse or a cry, the colour dissipated, along with the body.

The two paramedics sat there dumbfounded. The more logical of them said, "Great, what the fuck do we do now? No one told us how to deal with a dead disappearing body."

The other paramedic, the more religious of them, crossed himself and said, "For Christ's sake, did you not just see what happened? God gave this man a second chance and took him up to heaven directly. We just witnessed a miracle, you and I."

Unbeknownst to both the paramedics, it was neither an act of God, Christ, or any other divine being with powers incomprehensible to man. Simply put, no one caused Seth to mysteriously disappear from the realm of earth. Something did.

Chapter Two

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Two: I have returned...

Seth woke up. That in itself surprised him. He knew he should be dead, and the fact that he wasn't was bothering him. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into a floating mirror. He looked like shit. His hair was messy, his 9 o'clock shadow untrimmed, his eyes bloodshot and sunken. Seth pondered where he was and why he was where he was. Coming to no conclusions, he stood up and said, quite calmly, "Excuse me. Am I dead?"

His voice echoed, which was strange as there were no walls, pillars, or anything else he associated with being dead. He looked around some more. There was, in fact, nothing but him, the floating mirror, and the grey tiled floor he was standing on. His question had not been answered, so he grabbed the floating mirror, tucked it under an arm, and decided to search for an exit.

After walking steadily for what seemed like hours, Seth was about to give up when he saw three metal gates side by side. Behind each gate was a portal, and through each portal he could see another world. There was someone standing at a small podium waiting patiently for him to approach. The person in question was a middle aged man with a greying beard, of average height and demeanour. In fact, as Seth was looking at him, he realized that the man was the epitome of blandness. Nothing about him stuck out at all.

"Welcome, Seth," the robed man said. "It's been a long time coming for you to be here, hasn't it?"

"Depends," said Seth. "What is here, what am I doing here, and, most importantly, shouldn't I be dead?
"

The bearded man laughed. "Oh, but you are my boy. You were hit by a human trafficker driving a school bus. Little did you know, you saved the life's of everyone on that bus--including you're daughter's. As for where you are now, look around you. Does this look like heaven to you?"

"No."

"Does it look like hell to you?"

"No."

"Well, that's two out of three. You're a smart boy, you tell me where we are."

Seth put his head down in thought. "Purgatory?" he guessed.

The bearded man started a dramatic slow clap. "Well guessed," he said. "Now that introductions are made, you have a choice. You may go through the first gate, the Gate of Knowledge, where you're very soul will be forced to answer moral choices based on what you would do in the situation. Also you cannot lie or force yourself to make a choice that differs from your nature. Not for the faint of heart, get it?"

Seth said nothing.

"Everybody's a critic. Anyhoo, the second gate is the Gate of Rebirth, where you will be reborn on Earth in an attempt to live your life as dutifully and peacefully as you can, in an attempt make it into heaven."

Again, Seth said nothing.

The robed man continued unabated. "The third and final gate is the Gate of Harmony. Here, you will go with your memories intact into a new world of peace and harmony. Your goal is to recreate yourself, with the help of others, into someone you are proud of being. The choice is yours, Seth."

As the robed man finished, the three gates opened simultaneously. Seth walked up to and inspected each one. He stopped at the third one and asked, “Will anyone I know be here as well?”

The bearded man laughed. “Not anyone you knew in life, Seth.”

Seth straightened his posture and said, “With the fact that I don’t even know my own morality, nor do I have any wish to return to Earth, I choose the third gate. The Gate of Harmony.”

“So be it,” said the robed man. “You will retain your memory of everything that has transpired, with the exception of your time here. We can’t let this place become common knowledge, now can we?”

Seth nodded and braced himself for what was to come. He stepped into the portal, and was engulfed in darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth woke up dazed and confused. He didn’t recognize his surroundings. Seth tried to recall what happened and, with a start, remembered the bus impact. He shuddered, but the feeling of fear and anxiety was replaced with the feeling of warmth and love. He remembered that he saved his daughter’s life. He knew that if it happened again, he would lay his life down without question.

He got up shakily and decided on a course of action. He put the facts he knew in an organized fashion. He was dead, but now he wasn’t. He was in a different place, possibly a different planet, what with no geological formations being familiar to him. He was wearing his suit, which was a small comfort. He quickly checked his pants and found his smartphone along with its solar-powered battery adapter and smiled, glad he forked out the extra two-hundred for it.

He did a small pan of the area and realized he was on a well-traveled road, with deep, dark forest on either side of him. It was around noon, according to his Rolex, but for all he knew that would have no significance on the time-space of another dimension and/or planet. He quickly decided that his best option was to make contact with whatever sentient race lived here. He stopped. How do I know that? When did I find out that I’m in another dimension and that humans are not the dominant race? He shook his head, unable to remember. Oh well, he thought. I’m alive, I’m in a brand new world, and I intend to never go back to Earth.

With that, Seth merrily set his phone to play his playlist of tunes, which was a collection of dubstep, hardstyle, electric, and the like, and strolled down the path, eagerly awaiting whatever challenges faced him in this new world.

Chapter Three

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Three: Contact

Seth was exhausted. He's been power walking for nearly 3 hours until he found any signs of people. He decided to take a quick break and think about what happened to him. He was almost eaten by a giant cat-scorpion thing, he almost pissed his pants after encountering a cockatrice, and practically had a heart attack after a yellow and pink pony nearly trampled him out of fear and ran off.

"Fuck!" he said aloud. "I gotta pick my routes more carefully next time. Haven't had that much trouble in a forest since I tried playing Slender." He shivered.

Seth decided to keep going until he found a landmark or some sort of village. He walked for another fifteen minutes before seeing the top of a stone structure. He grinned and turned his music up even louder. He started jogging towards the stone structure, but was distracted when he heard a feminine scream coming from the forest on the right side. He turned off his music immediately. He thought to himself, I hate this fucking forest, but I hate leaving someone in trouble. Damn my chauvinistic nature.

He steeled himself and checked his coat pockets again. He felt a slight bump right under where his heart was. Gotcha, he thought. He reached inside his suit and out of the hidden pocket pulled out a tiny .38 snub nosed pistol. It fit into the palm of his hand perfectly, almost as if it was made for him. It was made for me, he thought bitterly. I had it made in case of emergency, and this does constitute an emergency situation.

Gun in hand, he forayed into the forest, searching for the owner of the scream. As he was searching, he heard several more screams which came from somewhere in his immediate vicinity. As he rushed forward, three small multicoloured ponies came running straight at him. Seth hadn't the time to swear before he was bowled over.

Seth came to not two minutes later, face down on the earthen floor of the forest. He groggily sat up and started checking his bones for breaks or fractures. Satisfied that nothing was immediately wrong with him, he sighed, put his gun away and went back to the forest trail to resume his journey towards the stone structure. He thought about the screams and the small ponies, but didn't put two and two together. He shook his head wearily and continued his journey, stopping to eat some berries he stumbled upon.

It took another two and a half hours before he reached the village. He stood there, at the edge of the forest, taking in the sights, sounds and smells of the place. His brain clicked, realizing this looked eerily similar to that cartoon his daughter had been watching. What was it called? he thought. My Little Horse? No, too easy. Friendship is Wonderful? No, that wasn't it either. My Little Pony? Yes, that was it. Wait, WHAT?! Why am I in a children's cartoon? What the fuck is going on?

He started to panic, but managed to calm himself down. Calm down, calm down, he thought. There has to be some reason I'm here. He paced back and forth for a couple of minutes, thinking on the subject. He suddenly stopped and snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he said aloud. "This is my punishment. I have to live here in freakin' Ponyland for God knows how fucking long, until I learn whatever lesson it is I'm supposed to fucking learn."

Saying that out loud made him realize that talking to himself was getting him nowhere. This is just my fucking luck, he thought to himself. Of all the many possible intelligent races out there on all the goddamn planets in our entire fucking Universe, I had to put on the one that doesn't actually exist. Fucking perfect.

He hated where he was, but that didn't change the fact that he was stuck there. Seth made up his mind to go into the town, ask directions on how to get in touch with their leader, and see if he/she could get him out. He nodded to himself, and started walking towards Ponyville, Smartphone blaring music as he walked.

Unbeknownst to Seth, he was being followed by three curious fillies, members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to be exact. They didn't know what he was or if he was dangerous, but their better judgement was overruled by their need to know. After the creature seemingly made up its mind and started to head towards Ponyville, music included, the Cutie Mark Crusaders (hereby will be referred to as CMC) decided that they better warn the inhabitants that a strange and possibly dangerous monster was coming towards Ponyville.

Seth, oblivious to this, made it to Ponyville unharmed. As he was bracing himself to enter the town, he was extremely startled by the fact that there were six fully-grown ponies floating in a magic aura, all staring intently at him. The purple one (whom he assumed was the leader) cleared her throat and said, much to Seth's amusement, "Be gone, creature of the Everfree forest! Be gone, and we won't have to hurt you!"

Seth couldn't believe what he was seeing. Surely those berries he ate earlier weren't hallucinogenic, but he studied medicine, not botany. I'm in no mood for this bullshit, thought Seth. He turned up his music as loud as it would go, hoping to drown out any more potential hallucinations, before briskly walking towards the Ponyville entrance.

All Seth heard was “We warned you” before he felt like gravity had tripled and a flying bus crashed down on him. It was the most intense experience of pain he had ever felt, and it stayed that way for about 15 seconds. When it was over, he sat up, wincing. His vision had gone blurry, but he could see and feel enough to know that several of his ribs were cracked, one of his teeth was chipped, and he was bleeding out of one ear.

Miraculously, his phone was unharmed and was still chortling it music through its speakers. Seth turned it off and slipped into his pocket. He attempted to stand, but only managed to get into a kneeling position. He stared at the still floating ponies and said loudly, “Fuck me, but I thought this place was full of caring and friendship. If I knew it was full of assholes and bullies I would’ve stayed on my own goddamn planet. Fuck.”

After hearing this, the six ponies floated down and came over to Seth slowly. He could hear a mix of voices. Some were amazed that he could speak, some didn’t want to take any chances, and some were wondering how bad he was hurt.

At least they care enough to not kick me when I’m down, thought Seth bitterly. “If you’re going to kill me, get it over with. I might actually have some peace and fucking relaxation.”

The purple one trotted over cautiously and said, in a surprisingly clear voice considering it was from a fucking pony, “Sorry for hurting you, but you didn’t respond in any way so we assumed you were a monster from the Everfree forest.” She, for it was definitely a she, said, “Also, what, err…are you exactly?”

Seth just kneeled there. Finally, he responded by saying, “You know what? Fuck it. I’m done. You hear me?! DONE! I’M FUCKING DONE!” As he finished yelling to the sky, he collapsed due to his broken ribs. The purple pony, Twilight, sighed and said, “C’mon girls. We better take him to the hospital.”

The blue one, Rainbow Dash, shot back, “Why are we taking a monster to the hospital? He blatantly ignored us. So uncool.”

Twilight shot back, “Dash, he’s obviously intelligent. I mean, come on, he spoke to us in our own language. Yes, I realize he was angry, but apparently we hurt him badly enough for him to warrant us killing him.”

Cowed, Rainbow Dash sighed, nodded, and flew back to her home of Cloudsdale. The rest of the ponies went back to their respective homes, storing their amulets of harmony for another day.

Alone and burdened with a strange creature not of her world, Twilight went to the hospital to get medical attention.

Chapter Four

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Four: My train of thought just crashed

Seth woke up in an infirmary, which didn't surprise him as much as it should have. He'd woken up in much stranger places recently. He took a second to get his bearings and collect his thoughts. He'd been trampled, kicked, bruised, beaten, and crushed within the span of half a day. He grimaced. With a track record like that, he should be dead within a week.

The nurse nearby took notice of his awakening and left him a tray of food. The nurse then left, presumably, according to Seth, to bring someone to interrogate him. He looked down at the food in disgust. Apples, flowers, and hay along with a small glass of water. What the fuck am I, Seth thought angrily. A horse? He immediately realized what he just said. Of course. Of course it's for a fucking horse, that's what horses eat. The reality of the situation finally hit him. I am in a children's cartoon, about magical ponies no less, while in the hospital after being nearly crushed to death. He shook his head. I do not belong here. Of all the places, why'd I have to be sent to the most juxtaposition-heavy one?

Seth looked down at his food again. He was hungry, albeit not for hay or flowers. He gingerly took a bite out of the apple and was relieved to find it tasted just as good, if not better, than the ones from Earth. He finished the apple quickly and downed the water. He was still hungry, but not for plants and grains. He needed meat. Steak to be exact. Seth never felt more alive after eating something that once had been. He thought about his predicament some more, specifically the small details. Every sentient creature here is a pony, therefore carnivores just do not exist in pony society. I'm sure the cartoon board would have wanted child-friendly foods as well. Also the fact that there's no electricity, that's a fairly big problem. Fuck, there's no meat, no power, no industry.

Seth thought about all the good things that came with the pony package. No murder, no slavery, no theft, no crime. Hell, the more he thought about it, the more hopeful he became. Nobody here resorts to crime or violence because everyone is treated equally. Well, almost no violence. Seth thought some more. But I was a specific case, wasn't I? I didn't listen to their request, nor even acknowledge that I heard them. Fuck me, but I thought they were hallucinations.

Seth was about to hop out of his too-small bed when the purple pony, the leader of the flying ponies that beat the shit out of him earlier, trotted in. Seth's attention immediately shifted to the pony's horn. The unicorn's horn. Seth started thinking furiously. If the events of yesterday were anything to go by, these ponies found another way of travel. For fuck sake, they flew in front of me. And if they can fly, then they must have magic. And if they have magic, they can get me the fuck outta here!

Seth was about to say something but Twilight beat him to it. “I’m terribly sorry about what happened yesterday,” she said while looking at the floor, ashamed. “It’s just, we’ve recently had trouble with the occupants of the forest you came from and we didn’t know what you were so we assumed you were a monster of some sort. Can you forgive us?”

Seth blinked several times before answering. My God, he thought. Well spoken, polite, and forgiving. I’m really starting to like this place. Seth cleared his throat and said, “I’m the one who should be asking for you to forgive me. I appeared here, alone and frightened and I thought that I was hallucinating the whole thing with you and the other five ponies floating there. It’s enough to make me question reality itself. I’m really sorry for any possible offenses I made. I know first impressions are important, and I kind of blew it.”

Hearing this, the purple unicorn felt uplifted. She had been feeling guilty for days after what had transpired. She said, “Oh thank goodness! You just seemed so, so angry after we used the elements of harmony on you. I would’ve never forgiven myself if an innocent creature was injured due to my negligence. I’m Twilight by the way. And you are?”

“I’m Seth,” he replied. “I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing here, but to tell you the truth, I don’t know myself. All I know is that…I died…and woke up in that forest of yours.”

Twilight looked at him curiously and said, “You mean, you’re not from here? From Equestria?”

“If Equestria is your planet, then no. I’m from a planet called Earth. It’s populated by humans, which is what I am.” Seth purposefully forgot to mention the fact that ponies were used as pack animals and that this was a made-up place created by a human.

Twilight looked at him thoughtfully and said, “You said you died, but you woke up here. Does that mean that when other members of your race pass on, they will wake up here?”

Seth shook his head vigorously. “If that was the case, Equestria would have been overrun by us long ago.” Seth thought some more before asking, “How many ponies live in Equestria?”

Twilight responded, “Which type of ponies? There are three kinds: unicorns, earth ponies, or pegasi? There’s about equal amounts of each.”

Seth fixed her with his second dumbfounded stare of the conversation. “You’re telling me that not only can you as a unicorn can fly with magic, but there are also ponies with wings?! I’m almost afraid to ask what special talent earth ponies have.”

“Earth ponies don’t have wings or magic. They do most of the labour while the pegasi tend to the weather and transportation. Unicorns tend to have jobs as storekeepers and teachers. As for me, I’m a student directly under Princess Celestia,” Twilight said proudly.

Seth digested this newfound information. A third of the population can do magic, a third can fly, and the other third is used for labour. Why haven’t the earth ponies risen up and revolted? Demanded that the unicorns make them equal to the other subspecies? It doesn’t make any sense…Unless. Seth’s thoughts turned to cold, hard realization. No one here had human ingenuity or human want. The want, the need to have freedom would be foreign to them. They wouldn’t think that they were handicapped if they never actually thought of themselves that way. In fact…he could change the future of this place, this ‘Equestria’, as easily as a slip of the tongue. He had to watch what he said.

Seth was afraid. He was afraid that he was given the power to destroy Equestria as it was. He never wanted that kind of power, not on Earth, and definitely not here. He could cause a revolution that would strike fear into monarchs and crumble a civilization.

Seth knew he shouldn’t, but he asked anyway, “What’s special about this Princess Celestia? Is she your ruler?”

Seth saw Twilight’s face glow in admiration of her mentor. “Princess Celestia saw magical potential in me and was my personal mentor for several years. She also helped me earn my cutie mark, for which I am forever grateful.” Twilight’s snapped out of her reverie and said, “Oh, but I’m sure you’re talking about her physical description. She’s around 6 feet tall, around the same height as you. She’s also an alicorn, which is a pony who has a unicorn’s magical talent and a Pegasus’ wings. As for ruling, she does so jointly with her sister Luna. She raises the sun in the morning while Luna raises the moon at night.”

Seth was intrigued. "I hope I can meet this 'Princess Celestia' as soon as possible. She can hopefully help me with my predicament."

Twilight's shoulders sagged a little. "But you just got here! I'd like to show you around, maybe introduce you to some of my friends. But if you're so anxious to get back to your planet, then I hold no ill feelings toward you. Everyone has a right to feel homesick."

Seth hated what he was about to do. He hated it because he knew it was true. No matter how much he missed Earth, he knew that Equestria was better. Kindness, loyalty, honesty, and generosity were the main attributes here. Cruelty, betrayal, jealousy, and unjustified violence were what constituted Earth's peoples. No matter what one person did, they were always overshadowed by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

"You want to know something sad, Twilight?" asked Seth. She hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Where I'm from, what you did would set you apart from everybody else." Twilight shifted uncomfortably at the foot of his bed. "The fact that you blamed yourself for something you didn't do, the fact that you risked yourself to help me, sets you apart. There are very few people on Earth with your kindness and integrity, Twilight. In fact, I have no desire to return to Earth. The pollution, the noise, the scars that humanity has put on Mother Earth. It makes me sick. And I didn't even realize it until I died and appeared here." Seth chuckled softly. "I made it to the one place I never thought I would see. Paradise."

Chapter Five

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Five: A host of new problems

"What do you mean by 'Paradise'?" asked Twilight.

Seth thought for a moment about how much he should say. "On my old planet, there were many ideological belief systems called Religions. There were too many religions to count, some new, some ancient, but they all had two similarities: one, they all disagreed with each other and two, after death, if you were judged worthy, you would be allowed to live in 'Paradise'. This 'Paradise' was called many things. Heaven, the afterlife, the Æther. Whatever it's called, this would be a textbook definition of it. Kindness, equality, friendship. I was never a part of any religion, so I figured I would never get a second chance, but here I am."

"So what happened if you were judged unworthy?" asked Twilight.

Seth's eyes sunk back a little and his voice became haggard. "That's something you didn't talk about in polite company, and I sure as shit am not talking about it here." Seth face-palmed himself. Way to go Seth. Swearing in polite company.

Twilight nodded. "Well, if you're able to walk, we should get you out of that bed. We don't want you to get bed sores, now do we?"

"Bed sores?" Seth asked. "How long have I been out?"

"Four days," Twilight responded."I came by every day to see how you were doing. Doctor Hooves said he never treated someone like you, so he wasn't sure if you'd ever wake up."

Christ, thought Seth. With friends capable of putting him in a short coma, who needed enemies?

Seth stretched and got out of bed. Realizing he was naked except for his boxers, he quickly jumped back into bed.

"Umm, Twilight, what happened to my clothes?"

Twilight scampered out of the room. She came back not ten seconds later with a bag in her mouth. She dropped onto Seth's bedside table. "Your pants and undershirt are fine, but your overcoat was ruined. We didn't find your shoes either. Sorry."

Seth sighed. Those were his favourite pair of shoes. Only pair of shoes, he reminded himself. Hopefully I can acquisition a new pair to be made. "It's alright, I'll manage."

He was about to slip on his pants when he noticed that Twilight was still in the room.

"Uhh, Twilight? Why are you still here?"

She looked affronted. "What do you mean by that?"

Seth pondered his problem. Why didn't she give him privacy to change? That's a common nicety on Earth, isn't it? Why should it be any different here?

Seth mentally slapped himself. Quit fucking thinking that this is like Earth. This the goddamn polar opposite of Earth. Of course they don't have any nudity taboos, they are all fucking naked already!

"Sorry Twilight. Was thinking about how another human would react. You see, on Earth, us humans respect the privacy of the, umm, other parts of each other."

Twilight looked confused, so Seth explained more thoroughly. "Humans wear clothes to cover our naked bodies, while I assume ponies wear clothes or garments to show their fashion sense or status. Am I right?"

Twilight nodded.

"If you would be so kind as to let me change into my clothes it would be...much appreciated," said Seth with a slight blush.

Blushing herself, Twilight nodded and walked out of Seth's hospital room, closing the door behind her.

Christ, thought Seth. That was a lot more awkward than it should have been. Fuck, I hope I can get some new clothes made for me. There's got to be a tailor here somewhere...

With practiced motions, Seth tossed on his pants and buttoned his undershirt up. He hoped that his feet wouldn't get torn up too badly outside. "Alright, Twilight. I'm dressed and ready to check out," said Seth as he walked out the door.

What he was not ready for, however, was Twilight's friends glaring daggers at him while Twilight was trying to calm them down. Twilight's two-toned blue Pegasus friend was the first to insult him.

"You! Just who do you think you are acting friendly with Twilight! She's our friend, not yours, so back off, whatever you are!"

Seth was in no mood for this after the kindness Twilight had showed him. He decided to give her a lesson in humility. "You should've learned by now, missy, that insulting things bigger than you has repercussions . Also, for your information, I'm a human, and I have recently died. So, for my sake and yours, would you kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP!?"

Seth knew he shouldn't, but he enjoyed the look of shock and horror on the blue ponies face. "Good. Now that that's settled, introductions are in order. I'm Seth, and I'm from a different planet." Seth looked straight at the blue pegasus that had mouthed off earlier. "Your turn, missy."

"I-I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in Equestria," stammered the Rainbow Dash.

Seth smirked and said, "Well then. That wasn't so hard, now was it? A little tolerance goes a long way, doesn't it? Alright, next!"

And so, Twilight's friends introduced themselves to Seth, feeling both spiteful and embarrassed at how easily he shut down their attempts at calling him out. With everyone introduced, Seth could finally say what he wanted to since he woke up.

"What in the hell did you hit me with?"

Twilight took it upon herself to answer. "You see, we directed the elements of harmony into you in hopes it would get rid of your fear, anger, and hatred. We only did that because we were forewarned that a tall, loud creature was coming straight for Ponyville."

Seth took this information and processed it. "A couple of questions: one, who warned you? Two, what are these 'Elements of Harmony' and how did you six come to possess the powers of it? Three, why would you want to 'purify' something that has fear, anger, or hatred? Those are emotions and feelings that make a person who they are."

The tan-orange pony, Applejack, remarked, "Well, I can see why Twilight took a special interest in you, mister. You talk like a sophiscolt (hurray for making up pony-related words) from Manehattan, but you speak your mind, which I like."

Seth wasn't sure how a pony could get a southern accent, but it seemed to fit nonetheless.

With rosy cheeks, Twilight answered Seth's questions. "Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were exploring the forest in a vain attempt to get their cutie mark, but they ran by you and were scared, so they went straight to us. As for the elements of harmony, the elements are kindness, loyalty, honesty, generosity, laughter, and magic. Each one of us embodies one of the elements, which is why were able to harness their power."

Rainbow Dash continued where Twilight ended. "We've had troubles with the monsters that live in the forest recently, so excuse us for treating you the same way. Except you didn't run back to the forest, you just collapsed."

Ignoring the taunt, Seth asked another question, "I've never heard the term 'cutie mark' before. What is it?"

Before Twilight could answer, Pinkie Pie started bouncing up and down in excitement. "Oh oh oh, I know, I know! A cutie mark appears when a pony finds that special talent that makes them unique!"

Seth started laughing hysterically. "Thank fucking God, I thought everyone here just liked getting tattoos on their asses!" Seth started looking carefully at them. After he checked all of them, he announced, "Alright, lemme guess, you like butterflies, you eat apples, you get struck by lightning a lot, you like diamonds, you love party balloons, and you are a...sparkling star?"

Rarity was the one to answer that question. "They aren't literal interpretations of our talents. We-"

Rarity was cut off by the nurse at the counter coughing loudly, intending for them to leave. The message got across, and Seth and company started walking down the road to the heart of Ponyville.

Chapter Six

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Six: Us few, us happy few

As Seth and the ponies were walking down the road to Ponyville, he thought of something he didn't think of before. "What type of magic can you use here Twilight, Rarity?"

Twilight was the first to answer. "You can use magic for practically anything if you set your mind to it. You can do things like levitation, telekinesis, teleporting. You know, stuff like that."

Seth had to visibly calm himself down. After a couple of seconds of having his eyes closed and his breathing controlled, he asked, "You're telling me, that with magic you can do things limited to only your imagination. This is correct?"

Twilight and Rarity nodded.

"Why didn't you, I don't know, read my fucking thoughts before hitting me with your friendship death laser? Or maybe, held me in place so you could find out what I was? Hell, you could literally solve every solve. Every. Single. Fucking. Problem that has ever happened, ever, with magic. And you're telling me that no one here ever thought of that?"

Awkward stares were all Seth got in return for his rant. Only after much debate, did one of the ponies pip up and say, "Don't you mean 'nopony'?"

Seth's anger deflated at that. Just listening to their habits and language told him so much about their culture. Like the fact that everyone was treated equal, or that they didn't even refer to themselves or others as 'one'. They used a general term. Somepony, anypony. Seth thought how humans could possibly do that. Somehuman, anyhuman. Nope, didn't work. Humans were to separate from each other anyway.

Seth said simply, "Yes that's exactly what I meant. And don't go trying those things I said either, as somepony might get hurt." He hated making false excuses, but he figured mass revolt was worse than that.

"Also, my feet are getting pretty banged up. Is there somepony here who could make me some shoes?"

Rarity's hoof shot up. "I make clothing, darling, and I must say: I'd be happy to make you some new footwear. Free of charge, of course."

Seth nodded and said, "Why thank you, Rarity. It's rare where I'm from for somepony to show kindness to another, free of charge."

The loud mouth from earlier, Rainbow Dash, spoke up. "Hey, if you wanted, you could stay at my place for the night. It would be totally cool!"

Seth was appalled at what was happening. What the fuck is going on here? thought poor, confused Seth. What is with the spontaneous acts of charity? Not like I can say no, but still. What the fuck?

"Allllrighty then," said Seth. "That...would be great. I could use somewhere to chill for a bit, as I'm pretty sure the hospital doesn't want me back."

It was Applejack's turn at gift-giving now. "Ya'll hungry, Seth? Lunch is almost here an' we always have extra food up at the farm...."

"Well, I'll be damned. Food, shoes, and a place to stay. Thanks a bunch, girls!" said Seth much more cheerier than he expected to be at this point and time. He checked his watch, which read eleven fifteen.

"Rarity, how long will it take for you to make a pair of shoes?" asked Seth.

Rarity thought for a moment and answered, "If it were a pony, I'd say a couple of hours, but you're...extremities on your feet must be accounted for. I'd have to say at the very earliest, tomorrow morning. I'll still have to take measurements, which will take around half an hour.

Seth nodded to himself. Perfect, he thought to himself. Feet measuring, food, and sleep. I need something to do in between food and sleep though...

"Twilight, you said earlier that you were a student. Would you happen to have any books i could borrow? Particularly on magic or history."

Twilight laughed and said, "Of course you can, silly. I live in a library after all."

Everypony stopped and stared when Seth hugged Twilight. Awkwardly separating themselves, Seth said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! None of you know how big of a thing this is for me. Where I'm from, there are practically no books anymore, the city library closed down, and all the bookstores closed shop. There's this thing called the 'Internet', and it was the worst possible thing to happen to humanity."

"Why was it so bad?" came the inevitable question.

"The internet was a plague, a virus, and it slowly consumed everything in its path. It contained almost every single thing in existence and you could find out anything on command."

"Why is that bad?" asked Twilight, somewhat confused. "All that information sounds like a good thing to have access to."

"The problem," Seth continued, "was that no human used it for that purpose. Sure, a few here and there, but the majority, the billions of humans used it as their own personal entertainment source, not for knowledge. We have these things called 'Facebook' and 'YouTube'. Facebook was a place where you could meet anyone, learn everything about them. We used to play retarded games, hold stupid fucking polls, learn about who did what for what reason, even if nobody cared. YouTube was worse. It eroded our minds, whittled them down so much that were laughing at the same jokes, the same people, playing the same games, reviewing the same videos, endlessly. Of all the information at our fingertips, we used it for bullshit. Stupid, derogatory, painstakingly obvious bullshit."

Seth sighed and took his head out of his hands. "There were few of us who had the originality, the spark needed to fix the world. Fix humanity. I thought I could do something, but now I realize I was just a pawn. Just a pawn in someone else's game."

Seth sat up, surprised to see all the ponies listening to him intently. "Well, hopefully that's behind me now. Honestly, if given the choice, I'd rather stay here."

Seth was definitely not expecting a group hug. In fact, that was the least expected thing on his list of expected things.

After everypony and somehuman extricated themselves, Seth announced his plans. "Rarity, I guess we should go figure out some shoes. Applejack, I'll see you at lunch. Twilight, I'll be at the library as soon as I'm done. Rainbow Dash, what time should I head over?"

Rainbow Dash laughed, an adorable sounding thing. "I'll meet you at Twilight's later tonight. You couldn't make it to my house if you tried."

Seth was confused, but he shrugged and said, "Fine by me then."

He was about to head over to Rarity's clothing store when he realized he forgot somepony.

"Fluttershy! I'm so sorry I forgot you! You're so quiet it's like you're not even there!" said Seth apologetically.

Embarrassed from the attention, Fluttershy barely managed to say, "It's okay. I'm sure I don't have anything to offer you anyway."

Seth stroked his four-day beard. "You said earlier that you were an animal caretaker. Would you happen to have any pets that need a home? I always wanted a pet, but never had the time for one..."

Fluttershy cheered up immensely after hearing this. "Oh yes! I have many animals that could use a home. All of us have a pet, so it's only right that you get one too."

"Alright then," said Seth. "I'll head over as soon as I eat lunch over at Applejack's, then I'll head over to the library. Sounds good to everypony else?"

They all nodded their assent, but before anypony could go anywhere, Twilight asked, "Wait! Where's Pinkie Pie?"

Seth chuckled. "She left as soon as I finished my rant on magic. I'm surprised nopony else noticed."

Everypony and a lone human shrugged at the same time. "Alright then, Rarity, let's show these little piggies whose boss," said Seth while wiggling his toes.

"Little piggies?" asked Rarity.

"Never mind, human saying. I'll have to stop those. Or, I could continue them and laugh to myself when nopony else gets them," said Seth with a grin.

And so, the ponies dispersed to their own activities while Rarity and Seth made their way to Rarity's clothing store.

Chapter Seven

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Seven: Decisions, decisions

The walk to the Rarity's boutique was uneventful. As the two walked inside, Rarity told Seth to sit on the stool and wait, as she had to grab her supplies.

Rarity had the professional air of a fashion designer when she came back, dragging several different kinds of material behind her with a measuring cloth around her neck. Rarity was excited to make Seth's shoes. She was excited because it was her chance to show that she could make anything look fashionable, even Seth's odd looking hooves.

"What type of materials do you have, Rarity? Us humans have to put all our body weight on our feet, so something sturdy would be recommended," said Seth.

Rarity glowered at him, causing him to stutter and say apologetically, "N-no offense to your clothing skills, of course. I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing."

Rarity measured his feet's length and width, making a tsk sound as she went. "Your feet are bigger than even I anticipated. The width is similar, but the length is preposterous."

Seth couldn't not take the opportunity to make a wisecrack. "If I had hooves instead of feet, I wouldn't be able to stand properly, much less walk."

Rarity ignored his comment and continued to measure. After several more minutes of silence, Rarity broke it by asking, "Do you have any particular colour you'd like them to be?"

Seth looked down at his dress pants and undershirt. "Any colour you want, as long as it's black."

Rarity nodded, evidently pleased by his colour chose. "Alright, that about does it. How will I get a hold of you when your shoes are done?"

Seth himself was wondering, as Rainbow Dash never told him where her house was. "I guess I'll have to stop by later tomorrow, as Rainbow Dash is letting me stay at her house tonight."

The look on Rarity's face made Seth feel like he made a mistake accepting the invitation. "Where, exactly, is Rainbow's house?"

Rarity gave him a pat on the hand with her hoof. "You'll find out soon enough, my dear gentlecolt. Hmm. Gentlehuman? No, that sounds wrong."

"You can call me 'sir', if you'd prefer. That proper one for me would be gentleman, but I always preferred 'sir'," Seth said with a smile.

Rarity agreed to that and bid him farewell. Seth made his way to the Sweet Apple Acres farm, surprised that his feet weren't more banged up, as the grassy ground was surprisingly pleasant to walk on.

After finishing a pleasant lunch with Applejack and her family, Seth went on to Fluttershy's house near the edge of the forest. After assuring her that he wasn't anyone other than himself, she led him to the section of animals that she kept. He was amazed at the selection. Fluttershy had everything from albatross to chinchillas to an alligator. Even an umbreon. Or at least it looked like an umbreon. Seth hadn't played Pokémon in years.

(An umbreon is a Pokémon that has always been a favourite of mine. Shut up, I can do whatever I want)

"What's that animal over there?" asked Seth, pointing at the mysterious black creature with yellow rings, which looked like a dog/cat/jackal/fox thing.

"Oh, I found him wandering the outskirts of the forest last week. I don't know what he is, so please be careful, okay?" said Fluttershy.

Seth grinned mischievously. "I think I know what he is, but I have to check something."

Seth walked over to the umbreon, who looked at him expectantly. Seth looked straight at it, and said, "Umbreon, use Moonlight!"

To Seth's and Fluttershy's surprise, the umbreon's yellow rings glowed and its eyes gained a reflective sheen. After several seconds of this, the umbreon stopped glowing and returned to its normal state, only with its head cocked at Seth.

Seth was extremely surprised that that actually worked. Holy fucking shit! thought Seth. I get to have a awesome pet! Wait, where did come from? Never mind, some things are better left unanswered.

"So it's called an 'umbreon'?" asked Fluttershy. Seth nodded vigorously, which caused Fluttershy to say, "I've never seen another one like it, and I know most animals in Equestria. How did you know what it was?"

Seth shook his head slightly. He didn't know how to explain it to Fluttershy, so he chose the answer that would not make him look insane. "The umbreon species is native to my planet. I've never actually seen one in person before, so I had to check. I have no clue as to why it's here though."

All the while Seth was talking, the umbreon was sitting down and looking at him expectantly. After noticing this, Seth asked him, "So what do you say? You want to be my pet?"

The umbreon make a sound which could only be described as a cross between a bark, a purr, and a purun-like sound. Seth took that to mean 'Yes'.

Smiling with his newfound pet, Seth was about to walk to Twilight's when he realized he had nowhere to keep the umbreon. He hadn't even thought of a suitably badass name for it yet.

"Fluttershy, I don't mean to be a jerk and do the opposite of what I just said, but could you look after him for a bit longer? I don't actually have a place to keep him yet, nor have I thought of a name."

Fluttershy nodded and said, "Oh, it's no problem. I'd like to observe him for a little why longer, anyway."

Seth was positively ecstatic with this new place he would soon call home. He was so happy, he scooped up Fluttershy and gave her a hug, which made her 'Eeep!' ever so adorably.

Putting her down, Seth said, "You are just the most adorable little pony out there. My daughter would have loved to be here...."

He abruptly realized what he said. My daughter.

Fluttershy, seeing Seth's mood change instantly from jubilant to grief, was understandably afraid.

"I-I've got to go. Goodbye and thank you again, Fluttershy," said Seth before briskly walking away, leaving Fluttershy frightened for the well-being of her human friend.

Seth took the long way to the library, calming himself down mentally as he walked. He didn't want to think about how she was doing, didn't want to think about her future, as he knew he would get angry and regretful. He checked his watch. 3 o'clock. He made pretty good time.

Feeling sufficiently calmed down by the time he reached the library, he briefly observed it. He was surprised to note that the library was inside a tree, but that wasn't the startling part. No, the startling part to Seth was that it was still alive, green leaves and all. Shaking his head in awe, he knocked on the door. He really didn't like the fact that he had to duck under almost every doorframe. He was fairly tall, but everywhere he went in Equestria made him feel like a giant. His musing was interrupted by the door opening and by the small dragon that had opened the door.

Both he and Spike, for of course it was him, jumped backwards at the same time, both uttering a curse in their respective languages. Of course, Spike said something that would be okay to air on a children's network, however, Seth did not.

"Jeez," said Spike after calming down. "You scared the scales of off me!"

Seth, not wanting to be outdone, said, "Christ, you scared the piss out of me! But I digress. You must work for Twilight. Would you kindly go see if she's around?"

Spike complied, but only after muttering, "I don't work for her, I live here for Pete sake!"

Seth only waited for about fifteen seconds before he could hear a distinct "He's here, he's here!" and the sound of hooves on wood.

"Hello again, Twilight. Did you miss me?" said Seth with a look of complete ignorance.

"Don't give me that, you'd be excited too if another sentient creature that came from another world appeared with no explanation," Twilight pointed out.

Seth laughed and said, "Fair enough. Oh, that reminds me, I have a gift for you Twilight." Seth reached into his pants pocket and brought out his phone.

"What is it? It looks like a piece of metal and plastic to me," said Twilight suspiciously.

"You are in for a surprise, dear lady. This little device contains more knowledge than a hundred books, more music than you can imagine, and more games than I care to remember. It's yours, if you want it."

Twilight was eyeing the phone with a much different look than before. Seth would compare it to desire. "How does it work?" she asked.

Rather than explain, Seth showed her. He showed Twilight where everything was stored on the display, how to actually use the phone, and about the battery system.

"The battery system is connected to an external solar-powered charging system..." said Seth, noticing Twilight didn't understand a word he said. Sighing, he explained it simpler. "You let it sit in the sun for a couple of hours and it should work for about a day. As long as you keep doing that, it should never run out of power."

Twilight stared at the small and complex computer she held in her hoof. "How am I supposed to use it? It was designed for your species foreleg digits, not pony hooves."

"I can rectify that," said Seth. He took a stylus from a hidden compartment in the phones diamond hard case. He showed it to Twilight and said, "This should work, right. You could use it by magic, or your mouth if you need to."

Twilight had never been given a gift like this before, and she was understandably at a loss for words. "I don't know how to thank you Seth. This is the greatest gift I've ever received. Are you sure your okay with letting me have it?"

Seth laughed again. "I've read every book, listened to every song, and played every game on that thing at least once. You can keep it as long as you want. A couple of things though. First, don't go listening to any music marked as 'Dubstep' or 'Hardstyle' unless you want your eardrums to pop. Second, stay away from the book 'The Art of War' as I don't want to be held responsible for what might happen if you read it. Thirdly, try not to drop it too much. The case is damn tough, but as Murphy's Law states: If something can go wrong, it will."

Twilight gave Seth a big hug and asked, "What can I do to repay you?"

Seth just chuckled and said, "You could do your job and let me borrow some books..."

Twilight visibly reddened at the mention of her neglecting her duties. "Of course! What type of books are you interested in?"

"I like most books, but right now I'll stick with the principles of magic and the history of Equestria for now," said Seth.

Twilight brought Seth the books he desired and the two of them sat in companionable silence, one going over the magical device she was given and the other reading about the magical applications of, well, magic. Due to the nature time and it going faster than you expect it too, it was nearing dark when Seth and Twilight were knocked out of their stupor by a knocking (Hoofing?) at the door.

Seth looked up and blinked owlishly. Where had the time gone? Seth thought to himself. I haven't zoned off into a book like that since high school. He looked over at Twilight and saw that she was blinking repeatedly, probably attempting to get the screen to disappear from her cornea. She cantered over to the door and opened it, revealing Rainbow Dash.

"C'mon Seth! Time to go!" said Rainbow anxiously.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Coming Mom," he said sarcastically.

He picked himself off the carpet and walked over to the door. "Goodbye Twilight. Have fun with the phone. If you don't want a headache in the morning, I'd recommend not looking at it for more than 6 hours a day."

Nodding and promising to do so, Twilight bid them a fond farewell.

Seth started walking along the path only to be stopped by Rainbow Dash. "Where do you think you're going? My house isn't that way."

Seth stopped and walked in the other direction. He was once again stopped by Rainbow Dash. Feeling a bit miffed, Seth walked in the other two directions, but was stopped both times.

Finally losing his patience, Seth said, "Well where the hell do you live then?"

Looking up into the sunset sky, he saw something that startled him. There was a house made of clouds. No, he thought to himself. That is a mansion made of clouds. This breaks every law of physics I care to remember.

He looked back down to Rainbow Dash and asked, "That's all well and good, but how am I supposed to get up there?"

Answering his question with a statement, Rainbow unfurled her wings and turned to let Seth climb on. The statement said, "If you don't want to fly with me, you're sleeping outside."

"Well, fuck," said Seth.

Chapter Eight

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Eight: Questions and answers

Seth looked at Rainbow Dash and said, "A couple of things. One, how do you intend to fly me up there? I probably weigh four times what you do. Two, how am I supposed to walk on clouds?"

Rainbow Dash said nothing, only stomped her foot to hurry him up. Sighing, Seth squashed his pride and masculinity and sat on the blue pegasus, holding the bag of books Twilight lent to him.

Rainbow Dash took to the air gracefully, somehow gaining altitude rapidly despite her human cargo. This show of blatant physics breaking made Seth put his head in his hands.

Seth only looked up when he felt Rainbow not flying any higher. Looking around, he saw nothing but the burnt orange sky and a few stray clouds.

The sight took his breath away, but before he could revel in it, he heard Rainbow Dash say, "Hold on tight, this is going to be fun!"

Before he could question what she was about to do, she stopped hovering, tucked her wings in, and dive bombed through the tops of the clouds. Seth clung tightly to Rainbow Dash, not having enough breath to assert his displeasure. After falling for what felt like an eternity to Seth, he risked looking down. He really shouldn't have. Seth and Dash were just seconds away from being flat as a pancake when Rainbow opened her wings back up, swerving close enough to the ground that his feet hit the tops of the grass. Snickering and laughing the whole way to her house, Rainbow Dash was ready with stage two of her prank.

Since Seth was not a pegasus, he shouldn't be able to walk on clouds. Rainbow deduced this and she planned on letting Seth jump down and fall straight through, only to be saved by her. What she was not expecting, however, was Seth climbing off her back and standing on the clouds, commenting on how soft they were.

Rainbow attempted to speak, but all that came out was, "But I-but you-but..."

Seth raised an eyebrow at the flustered pegasus. "But what?" he asked.

Sighing, Rainbow said, "Never mind," and took Seth on a quick tour of her place.

Unbeknownst to both Seth and Rainbow Dash, Rarity had told Twilight about Rainbow's invitation to Seth and how she might try to pull something, so Twilight cast a spell on Seth that enabled him to walk on clouds. Rainbow Dash attributed it to the fact that he was a human, therefore anything was possible, whereas Seth had no idea any of that had ever happened.

Seth was amazed at how Rainbow Dash had made her house. Especially at how she made it out of clouds. How could you possibly do this? thought Seth in wonder. They should just float away and dissipate, but they don't.

About half an hour later, the tour was complete. Rainbow and Seth headed into the kitchen, where Rainbow had two bowls of salad waiting for them. Rainbow was the first to start the conversation, assaulting him with a variety of questions.

"How big do most humans get?"

"It varies quite a bit. Some can dwarf even me, while some others only come up to my chest."

"What do humans eat?"

Seth was careful answering this one. "Humans can eat all sorts of things. Plants, grains, dairy products and alternatives, those sorts of things." He made sure to make no mention of eating meat, for fear that he'd be shunned. "One more question, then it's my turn."

Rainbow thought about her next question more carefully. "How did you end up here? In Equestria?"

"I'll tell you what I told Twilight: I don't know."

"Whaddaya mean you don't know? I thought you knew everything," said Rainbow with a harrumph.

Seth laughed at that. "I most certainly do not know everything, my dear pegasus. Nobody knows everything, and I believe it should stay that way. As for why I'm here, I don't know, but I have my excuses as to why I don't."

Rainbow narrowed her eyes at Seth. "Go on..."

"I got hit by a bus. I died. I woke up here. Those are the only facts I know for certain."

Dash was looking at him funny. "But you're not dead. You're right there!"

Seth shrugged and said, "I don't know how I'm alive right now, let alone how I got here. I choose not to think about it, for fear I'll go mad if I find the answer. You know, more mad than I am already."

"I don't understand. You don't look angry," said Rainbow Dash.

"By mad I meant insane. Cuckoo. Off my rocker. Crazy."

The look on Rainbow Dash's face made Seth sigh and say, "Never mind, I was just trying to make a joke. So bloody difficult when nopony gets my aphorisms. Anyway, my turn to ask a question: why did you invite me over to your house?"

The question took Dash by such an amount of surprise that she didn't even try to hide her blushing face.

"T-that's not fair!" stammered Rainbow Dash. "That's personal!"

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Personal you say. How interesting. What are you planning, my little Dashie?"

"None of your business! I invited you over here cause I thought you were cool and I...wanted to get to know you, as it seems you're here to stay."

Seth was not accepting that answer. "What do you mean 'get to know me'?"

Rainbow pulled off the best poker face she could. "I wanted to find out more about you and where you lived, 'cause I want to see how different you lived. Also because I thought you were cool."

Seth knew she was hiding something, but accepted her explanation anyway. It wouldn't do for everypony to learn how well he could read people. Ponies were actually easier to read than people, what with their oversized eyes and apparently easily blush-able faces.

"Alright, I accept your explanation. I must admit, I'm awfully curious about you and your kind as well. Pegasi in particular. Like how you were able to lift my body weight with those wings of yours. Theoretically, that shouldn't be possible," said Seth.

"I'm not called the 'fastest flyer in Equestria' without good reason! Tomorrow, I'll show you exactly what I can do with these babies!" said Dash while flapping her wings, grateful that the conversation had taken another turn.

Seth and Rainbow Dash talked for several more hours about each other and their respective races before they finally decided to go to bed. Rainbow offered to let Seth sleep in her room, but Seth declined, saying "Your entire freaking house is made of clouds. It wouldn't matter where I slept, everything's clouds!"

Seth ended up sleeping on the living room floor, but had trouble falling asleep. He was in awe at how beautiful the moon was, for he had nearly never seen it in his city of lights and pollution. He also noticed how eerily bright the moon was, and decided to read by moonlight until he fell asleep. Seth was reading the book he borrowed entitled 'Magic 101: A Guide to Developing Your Magical Potential' . He was surprised to find that the magic in unicorns was powered by their willpower and only guided by their horn. He also read that other species have been known to instinctively use magic, albeit briefly, in times of great need.

As Seth was mulling over this newfound information, he heard a light spring-like noise which, for whatever reason, was the sound that clouds made when you jumped on them. He thought it was just Rainbow, probably up for a midnight snack, but when he got up to check, she was still snoozing soundly in her bed. Suddenly wary, Seth tiptoed as best he could back to the living room. He was prepared for someone trying to break in, but was not prepared for a gentle knock on the door. That meant that whoever it was, they knew he was awake and knew the Dash was asleep.

He knew that delaying would only serve to infuriate the guest, so he walked over and opened the door. He was already looking down in preparation for a small pony, but soon realized that he was almost looking face to face with the biggest unicorn he'd seen so far.

The midnight coloured pony blinked in surprise at the something that opened the door. It was huge, taller than her even though she towered over most ponies. She was even more surprised when it cleared it's throat quietly and said, "I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash can't come to the door right now. Can I take a message?"

A gigantic creature speaking in a soft voice, in perfect Equestrian, after she flew for several hours was too much for her brain to process. She let out a soft, "Oh, my..." and fainted at Seth's feet.

Seth looked down at the majestic creature's fallen form.

"Well....fuck."

Chapter Nine

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Nine: It's about time...

Seth stared at the crumpled heap of the mysterious unicorn, unsure what to do. Thinking about his problem, he determined that doing something was better than doing nothing. With a sigh and a grunt, he picked up the unicorn, amazed at how light it was, and brought it inside the cloud-house.

He placed the unicorn down on Rainbow's cloud-couch (clouch?) and was slightly shocked to find out that the unicorn in question was not a unicorn, for it had wings as well. It was what Twilight called an 'alicorn'. He tried to recall what was special about alicorns, aside from the fact that they could fly and use magic, but to no avail.

Seth tried to recall anything about how to wake somebody up who had fainted, but couldn't remember anything of the sort. Shrugging his shoulders, Seth went back to reading the book about magic. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually hungrily read a book to devour its knowledge. Regardless of when that was, Seth continued reading for another hour or so before he heard the alicorn shifting on the piece of furniture he dubbed 'the clouch'.

Closing his book, Seth sat up and prepared a welcoming speech to his guest. After seeing the alicorn raise its head gingerly and ask, "Where am I?", Seth delivered his speech.

"You floating above the town of Ponyville in a house made of clouds that I have dubbed 'the clouse' which is owned and maintained by a pegasus pony by the name of Rainbow Dash. Is that a sufficient enough explanation?" said Seth with a hint of mockery.

The alicorn jumped when she heard Seth's voice. It sounded strange, like it was both deep and soft at the same time.

"Who are you?! Show yourself!" exclaimed the alicorn.

"Shhh! Do you want to wake up Rainbow Dash? She seems the type that would not kindly to somepony interrupting her sleep. As for who I am, turn around."

The alicorn turned her head and partook in the sight of a most curious creature. It had night-dark legs with a startlingly white chest. She could see its eyes, and they shown with a level of great intelligence. "Who--what are you?" asked the alicorn, feeling afraid.

She heard the creature laugh, its chest rising and falling like her fluttering heart. "I am one of the race called humans, but don't fret: I am the only one of my kind in your Equestria. Also, you're welcome for picking you up and bringing you inside after you fainted."

Hearing this, the black alicorn remembered why she had flown to the Ponyville at this hour. She had felt great happiness that someone had appreciated her night, more so than somepony ever had previously.

The creature stood up to its full height, stretching. "I have only one question for you: why in the blazes are you knocking on people's doors at this hour?"

Excuses ran through the alicorn's mind. She didn't want to admit that she had flown here all the way from Canterlot on an impulse of affection.

She made the mistake of staring at the creatures intelligent, blue eyes. Eyes that you couldn't lie to without it knowing. She made her decision to tell the truth quickly after that.

"I-I flew here from Canterlot after hearing somepony think affectionate thoughts about the night I created. I get few enough compliments on it, but I could feel that this one was heartfelt. I guess I made a mistake, if the only pony here is sleeping," said the alicorn with despair in her voice.

The creature was silent for a moment, his tall placating form unmoving. "You are both right and wrong. While it's true that somepony didn't think those thoughts, somebody did. I was the one who so admired the moon and the night. Where I'm from, they were both hidden from me, so afraid we were of the darkness. My name is Seth. Care to tell me yours?"

The alicorn was stricken at how well spoken the creature was. It could obviously learn very quickly if it spoke Equestrian as fluently as it did.

"My name is Princess Luna, sister to Princess Celestia, ruler of the moon and the night. It is a pleasure to meet you, Seth."

Seth was now very glad that he had his manners turned on when he started talking. If this truly was the sister of the ruler of Equestria, he was very happy that he didn't berate her. Going on one knee, he bowed and said, "The pleasure is mine, Princess. I apologize for not recognizing your status earlier, but nopony told me that Princess Celestia had a sister..."Seth debated saying the next line, but said it anyway. "...or that you were so beautiful."

Blushing, Luna said, "Thank you for your kind words. If I may ask, what are you doing in Rainbow Dash's house at this hour?"

Seth shrugged and said, "She offered to let me stay here the night, so here I am. I must admit, I was suspicious at first, but I'm glad that I was invited out of friendship and not out of fear or trickery."

Seth rubbed his stubble in thought. "You said that you created this night. Is that true or exaggeration?"

"Yes, it's true. I've created all of the nights since my return to Equestria, but you are the first that has truly appreciated them. For that, I thank you."

Seth bowed again and said, "It is my pleasure, Princess Luna. If you don't mind me asking, if you control the night and the moon, does that mean that your sister controls the day and the sun?"

Luna nodded.

Seth was incredulous. A pair of ponies powerful enough to position the sun and the moon each day and night. It would take an incredible amount of willpower, if the book he'd been reading was any indication of magical might. If all it takes is willpower, surely I have enough of that, thought Seth as he eyed the book. For crying out loud, I died and was stubborn enough to come back.

"Princess, in your professional opinion, do you believe that non-unicorn ponies and other races are able to use magic on command, or just in times of need?"

Luna smiled bitterly and said, "I know first-hand that non-unicorn ponies can use magic when they need to. As for on command, I don't know. I've been out of touch with everyday ponies for quite some time. And please, call me Luna."

"As you wish, Luna."

Luna stood up to her full height, which was up to Seth's chest. "You wouldn't mind keeping this little, erm, impulse flight between us, would you?" she asked shyly.

Seth grinned. "Of course not, Princess. Before you leave, do you think you could help me out with something? I've been reading the basics on magic and how other species have used it before, and I wanted to try. I was hoping you could make sure I don't blow up or something."

Luna was happy to assist the human in his endeavour after keeping hers a secret. "Of course."

Seth was both adrenaline filled and terrified at the same time. If he could do this, the sky was the limit. Literally.

Closing his eyes and concentrating with all his might, he chanted his wish inside his head repeatedly, believing with all his might that what he was about to attempt was actually possible. He was about to stop and take a break when he felt a throbbing from his chest, like a second heartbeat. It beat much faster than his heart, however, and before Seth could figure out what was happening, the beating increased, his blood pressure spiked, his vision went fuzzy, and he blacked out.

Luna watched the entire episode happen, and knew that if she interfered, he might transfer his magical power towards her by accident. She did interfere when she saw a blossoming light coming from the humans chest. She attempted to put a sleeping spell on him, but her magic was redirected, ironically, into Rainbow Dash who had just been woken up from her sleep by a rainbow-hued light coming from the living room of her house.

Luna had to cover her eyes from the cascade of colours. When the assault stopped, she witnessed an unconscious Seth lying on the floor. She saw that his body was wreathed in a silvery shine, not unlike the one that appears around unicorn horns when they cast magic. Luna walked up to him slowly, cautious of any potential mishaps.

As she was considering flipping him over onto his back, Seth's body flashed white, blinding Luna. When she regained her sight, she saw a metallic silver Earth pony lying where Seth's body was. Luna barely had the time to register what she just saw before the Earth pony slipped through the clouds, unaffected by Twilight's cloud-walking spell any longer. Reacting quickly, Luna dove through the cloud floor and caught up to the pony before it could hit the ground. She gently placed the large pony on her back with magic telekinesis and flew back into the night, making sure the pony didn't slip off her back.

As Luna flew to Canterlot with her burden, she had only one thought: Celestia is going to kill me for this.

Chapter Ten

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Ten: A meeting of chance

Seth woke up feeling more at ease than he'd felt in a long time. He wasn't sure what it was. Perhaps clouds really were that comfy. Regardless, Seth was really, truly happy for the first time since his daughter was born. He was so happy, he wasn't even disturbed that his magic attempt was met with failure.

Wait a second, thought Seth suspiciously. Failed magical attempt?

He opened his eyes and was greeted with smooth white walls and carpet, not the clouds and clouds and clouds he'd been expecting. More than just the decor had changed as Seth looked around the room. Everything was bright, unnaturally so, but for some reason that didn't bother him overmuch. The biggest change to Seth was the uniformity of it all. There were no imperfections, no cracks, no distinction or shading.

Seth was understandably anxious about what exactly had happened last night. He read a book about magic, made a princess faint and made the wonderfully stupid idea of attempting to use magic on his own, without actually knowing how to do it.

And now all grit and shading and everything else in his reality of Equestria was changed.

Stunned by these new developments, Seth tried to get out of bed. Tried being the key word. His arms weren't responding properly, almost as if they were completely numb. He tried moving his legs to swing himself out. He nearly broke his neck as he tumbled ass-over-teakettle out of the bed and onto the floor. Laying on his back, he attempted to roll over but stopped when he saw a hoof flailing in front of his eyes. The hoof stopped as well.

Seth moved his wrist. The hoof moved along with his actions. Seth attempted to wiggle his fingers. He felt nothing. Panic gripped his chest. Nope, thought Seth. Nope. Nope. Nope. This can't be happening to me right now.

All the while he thought this, he experimented with the other limbs and joints of his body. They all moved in correspondence to where they would have been on his human body. For instance, his hoof moved like his hand/wrist, his foreleg moved like his arm, etcetera.

Seth attempted to stand on his four legs. He fell immediately. Fuck this is difficult, thought Seth angrily. How the hell does everypony else manage?

Seth grumbled and fell for the better part of an hour before mastering how to stand properly. It felt so awkward, so alien to him.

After figuring out how to stand, Seth attempted walking. Putting one hoof in front of the other took enough of his concentration that Seth forgot to move his back hooves. He fell flat on his stomach. Angered but unharmed, Seth practiced this until he was able to walk, or trot, as a pony properly. Or if not properly, well enough that he didn't fall every time he took a step.

During his 'practice sessions' Seth learned several new things. For one, the fact that his vision changed didn't change the actual world in which he lived and breathed in. He could feel the tiny hairs in the carpet, even though to his eyes the carpet looked flat and hair-less. He also learned that his body was a bright silver colour, with his mane being a deep, deep burgundy.

"Hah. I always thought I'd be an icy blue colour if my soul was anything to judge my colour as a pony," said Seth, unaware he was being listened to.

Seth sat on his haunches, feeling silly whilst doing it. Everything he did felt wrong. Every action, no matter how small, had to be directed by him. Having a fresh body with no habits was a very surreal experience for Seth.

Seth lied down on the soft carpet and did what he did best: think. He thought of all the good that would come from this new body. He would feel accepted by other ponies, not stared at in curiosity or mild shock. He could actually start a life, live the dream so to speak.

He thought of all the problems as well. At least when I was human I had complete and utter control over my body. Not to mention the fact that I have no great insight into Pony society as a whole. I only know what I studied as being a human, but it seems so different from this perspective.

As he was thinking this, he reached a conclusion that he should have reached a few hours ago.

"Wait, where the fuck am I and how did I get here?"

His question was almost immediately answered by a knocking sound.

"Umm, come in?" Seth asked hopefully.

A tall, white, gold armour wearing unicorn came through the door, which Seth hadn't noticed due to it blending in with everything else. For some reason, Seth could tell that it was a 'he'. The guard was carrying a letter with magic and deposited it by Seth's head, who was still flopped out on the carpet.

As quickly as the guard came in, he saluted with his front hood, turned, and walked back out the door, closing it. Seth stared at the door for several seconds before turning his attention towards the letter at his hooves.

Seth had difficulty opening the bloody thing. For crying out loud, he thought. Having no fingers is a royal pain in the ass. After several failed attempts, Seth finally got his teeth on the string holding the letter together and undid it. Here is what was on the letter:

Dear 'Seth',

My dear sister Luna has informed me of what transpired last night. While I do not condemn her for not warning you about the potential mishaps of first time magical users, I understand she had passed out earlier and was probably not acting her proper self.

As for you, I have instructed the guard outside your room to give you this letter when you ask a question about where you were. I hope that you have had enough time to get acquainted with your new body, for I wish to speak with you as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

Seth finished the letter and sat there digesting the information. Shrugging, which felt very strange as a pony, Seth went over to the door and thought about opening it. Before he could decide whether to go straight out or knock first, the decision was made for him when the door opened and the guard motioned for him to follow.

Seth did an admirable job keeping up, only tripping a few times. He followed his guide down a very long walkway which ended in a throne room. He was amazed at how linear the place was. Everything was parallel, everything was white, every 35 trots there were two guards posted, one on each side. It was an obsessive compulsive pony's dream.

Eventually, his guard brought him to another door, this one guarded by four guards. His guard guide talked quickly with the ones on duty and before he knew it, Seth was inside a closed room with the Princess of the Sun.

All the physical descriptions that Twilight had given him for meaningless, for no words could describe the sight before Seth's eyes.

Princess Celestia radiated power, enough so that Seth could feel it in his very bones. She was taller than him, stronger than him, and infinitely more graceful than him. Her hair flowed in a nonexistent breeze, the colours of her mane dancing in the airless wind.

Seth looked into her eyes, and felt more humble than he ever had previously. For he knew, without any doubts, that she was his intellectual superior, physically and mentally stronger, and his superior in any way, shape, and form.

He saw this from a mere half-second long gaze into her eyes. He broke eye contact and fell to the ground, exhausted.

Seth had never heard a god or goddess speak to him, but he knew if he had, it would sound very similar to Princess Celestia.

"I welcome you here, Seth, to the land of Equestria, as its newest citizen."

Seth felt the words of welcome physically restore his weariness. Her acceptance of him as a pony made him want to please her all the more.

Princess Celestia continued. "I hope your time in Equestria so far has been filled with happiness and friendship. My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has told me much about you, including some of the hardships you have faced getting to this point. I am truly and deeply regretful that any harm has come to you."

Seth was practically hyperventilating from her concern for him. He did not deserve such kindness from a goddess, for he was a lowly pony.

"A-a-any harm t-that came to me was m-my fault and my f-fault alone," said Seth. He felt unworthy of her presence.

"Nonsense," said Princess Celestia. "I can see that your mind has not fully healed from your transformation. If you'd allow me..."

Seth could barely procure a shaky nod.

Celestia's horn blazed a brilliant gold and Seth could feel his own body reflexively open in response. He felt blood rush to his head and his chest. Seth could feel the second heartbeat again, this time beating faster than it had previously. His vision was filled with silvery flames and a bright, rainbow shine coming from somewhere. He felt like his chest was on fire and he struggled with the pain for several more seconds, but as the next wave of agony hit him, he fell unconscious.

Seth woke up bleary eyed and sore. He opened his eyes and saw something he hadn't expected. Texture. Shadows. Shading.

He bolted straight up onto his feet, staggering like a drunk. He balanced himself with one arm on one of the walls in the room. He quickly scanned the room and his eyes stopped on the princess, a look of confusion on her face. He stared at her, and she stared back. He felt no connection, no sense of her divine status. He felt like he was looking at another person, more or less his equal.

The princess spoke first. "So this is your true form. Luna neglected to mention how...tall you were."

Seth blinked and looked at himself for carefully. He was wearing the same clothes as he was last night, albeit they were ruffled and creased. He looked at Celestia and felt a grin coming to his face. He was taller than her, by at least half a foot. Seth stared into her eyes again, and still felt no spark of godliness.

"Luna also neglected to mention that her sister is a false god. I thought you were my superior, my better, in every way, shape, and form, but I guess not."

He walked several steps closer, while Celestia stood her ground.

He smiled. "You have a lot to answer for."

Chapter Eleven

Trials and Tribulations
Chapter Eleven: Trials and errors

Princess Celestia had no idea how to react. The creature standing in front of her, Seth, had called her a false god. She did not know what a god was, but she could tell it was an insult.

Forcing herself to remain calm, she asked, "What is a 'god' of which you have called me a false one?"

"A god is an all-powerful being that can, apparently, influence the lives of others and control where they end up after death."

Celestia was confused. "I don't pretend to be a 'god'. I am the leader of Equestria, nothing more nothing less. I have no control over what ponies do with their lives or when they pass away, nor would I want that power."

Seth wasn't having any of it. "When I was in pony form, I looked into your eyes for half a second and felt in awe at your sheer power and majesty. I wanted to serve you until my dying breath and I would gladly give up my life on a mere whim of yours. And you're telling me that you don't have any control over anypony? I call bullshit. You raise the very sun that brightens their day, the sun that causes their crops to grow, the sun that causes all to be possible for fuck's sake."

Princess Celestia had never thought of it like that. She had always done what her position demanded of her. "I...I never thought of it like that before. I thought that everypony adored me because of my office and how I treated them..."

She shook her head, pushing her thoughts away for the moment. "I will have to make an announcement regarding that later, but for now I am interested in learning about you, Seth."

Seth was amazed at what he had done. He had sown the seeds of discontent in the ruler of Equestria in a single rant. No sense pushing even more, thought Seth. I've done more today than I could have ever hoped for.

Seth told her the tale of humanity. "We, as a species, evolved from primates. We also had a strong individual identity, but as the primates evolved towards depending on a community for cooperative survival, we evolved empathy for our own children first, then for the children of others, and finally for the adults. As our species grew more prolific, our circle of empathy had to grow larger, to include the large populations of each group. Finally, as our species reached its domination point, humans had to evolve something that no other primate had: a sense of identity with the group mentality so strong that it could swallow up the identity of the individual. With this group loyalty being as strong as it was, a human being could only have loyalty to one or two communities at a time. These loyalties founded the basis of the states and countries that we live in today. Sounds reasonable, you may say. But humans are not reasonable."

"Religion appeared, which was the worship of a god or gods as humanity's superiors. Entire nations, billions of people were killed because of what they believed in. The group mentality made it even worse. It let people become the weapons and tools of the select few controlling them."

Seth paused for a few moments to let Celestia absorb this information. "Now, with the technology to change the world for the better, we don't. We are spoon fed lies by the very government that pretends to care for us, all the while they are testing us, prodding us. We had all the information at our fingertips, but it's too late now. Humanity is dead, and in its place are mindless drones going about their daily business, laughing when they are allowed to laugh, crying when appropriate."

Seth was visibly shaking with anger at the end of his tirade. "And that's why, princess, I called you a false god. One who watches over everypony from a distance. Helping individuals before they are swallowed up by a group is what you must do. For it is individuals who will save the day, not the masses. It may not have started happening yet, but it will. Oh, it will. And Equestria will burn if it does."

Princess Celestia had never heard someone speak so angrily, so passionately about anything before. "May I look into your memories to see this for myself? It's not that I don't believe you, but I want to make the best decision I possibly can, for the sake of everypony."

Seth smirked and said, "If you think you can manage, go ahead. I'm not proud of some of the things I've done, but they were done out of necessity."

"It won't hurt, but it will knock you unconscious. You will wake up back in Ponyville. It was...intriguing to meet you Seth. I hope we can become allies in the future, as equals. Farewell."

Celestia called Luna into her room after she copied Seth's memories into the crystal in front of her. "Luna, please tell me everything about Seth that you learned in your brief time spent with him."

"Of course," Luna said. She explained everything she knew, from demeanour, to physical and mental fortitude, and finally his eyes, and the fact that after looking she couldn't lie to him.

Together, Celestia and Luna touched the crystal gently with their hooves, and delved deep into the humans memories.

They saw Seth's life. Saw it from his moment of birth. Saw him raised in a dysfunctional family, saw him being taught values he didn't accept. They watched as he was accepted into high school at age 12 after being tested as having 'mensa' level intelligence, which was one step from genius. He completed high school 3 years later and went to university for 2 more to earn his master's degree in medicine.

They watched as he discarded all attempts at making friends. Watched as he met someone during university, someone he thought he cared for. They felt his pride when his daughter was born, and his contempt and hatred for everyone around him after his ex-wife divorced him. They saw his choices, his whims, his ethical choices laid out in front of them. And they were afraid. Luna and Celestia were afraid of who he was, who he could become if he was pushed. All it would take was a push and a shove, and Seth could, would, change it as he saw fit.

After reviewing Seth's memories, the two princesses discussed whether or not he was to be trusted.

************************************

Seth woke up lying on the floor in Rainbow Dash's living room. He got up and was going to check on her when he almost tripped over her. What was she doing sleeping in the hallway? thought Seth. Confused, Seth picked her up and carried her to her bed. She immediately curled up, pinning his arm in the process.

Seth looked down at the adorable blue pegasus sleeping and felt guilty about trying to move her off of his arm. He sat down on the bed and looked around for something to read that was in reach. He noticed a pamphlet on the 'Wonderbolts' and decided to read it to pass the time until she woke up.

Rainbow Dash woke up, feeling as if she'd slept for two days. She stretched and felt something under chest. Hey, she thought. I thought I put that away...

She was startled when she felt the object in question slide out from under her. She jumped out of her bed in response and tumbled onto the floor.

"Sorry for startling you, but my arm was pinned by you for almost an hour now and I need to get the blood flowing again," said Seth while clenching his fingers.

It took Rainbow Dash's brain a few seconds to process this. The question that was inevitably asked was, "What was your arm doing under me in the first place?"

Seth laughed and said, "I nearly tripped over you in the hallway, so I picked you up and brought you back to your bed. You curled up and took my arm with you." Seth looked at his watch. "Although to be honest, I'm not sure what you were doing sleeping in the hallway at 6:45 in the morning."

Rainbow Dash stretched her wings and said, "What time is now then?"

"7:42."

Rainbow stopped stretching and looked at Seth incredulously. "Are you sure? It feels like noon to me. That's generally when I wake up."

Seth had to agree. "I feel surprisingly well rested considering what happened last night."

Rainbow Dash had a shocked look on her face. She barely managed to squeak out, "What happened last night?"

Seth laughed again. "I made Princess Luna faint, I transformed into a pony, I met Princess Celestia and practically insulted her, I had my memory reviewed and I've had my arm trapped for about an hour. A fairly interesting night, if I do say so myself."

Rainbow Dash stared at Seth for half a minute before regaining her composure. "Alright," she said eventually. "Start at the beginning."

As Seth and Dash were walking through Ponyville, he told her about what happened. Most of the stores were still closed and few ponies were walking about. When Seth got to the part when he accidently transformed, Rainbow Dash said, "I think Twilight should hear about this too. She should probably be up by now."

Seth agreed and the two of them went to the library. Seth knocked on the door, and heard Twilight respond, "Coming!"

She opened the door and her smile turned upside down. She pointed accusingly at both of them and said, "You both have a lot of explaining to do!"

"Wha-" Seth started to say, but was cut off by Twilight.

"But I-" Rainbow Dash attempted to speak, but was also cut off by Twilight.

Twilight led them to what could be considered the living room. She made them sit on the couch and sat in the chair across from them. Twilight cleared her throat and said, "What the hell were you two doing for two days!"

Rainbow Dash turned bright red.

Seth wondered which book she learned 'Hell' from. He also wondered what she meant by 'two days'. He voiced his opinion.

"What do you mean two days?"

Twilight glared at him. "I mean, you've been at Rainbow Dash's house for two whole nights!"

Seth looked at Rainbow Dash. "You think I should tell her what happened?"

Dash could only nod.

"Well, you see..." started Seth, only to be interrupted by Twilight again.

"No! I don't want to hear your excuses! You two are in serious trouble! I don't even want to know what you two did for two days, nor do I care!"

Seth could tell that she did in fact care, seeing as she was blushing more as the conversation went on. Rainbow Dash attempted to sort things out with Twilight.

"Twilight, we didn't-"

"I'm not done ranting yet!" exclaimed Twilight.

"You are now," said Seth in a voice that brooked no argument. "I think it's time you heard what happened to me last night--or nights, rather."

And so, Seth told the events from his perspective to Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

Chapter Thirteen

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Thirteen: Drink, drank, drunk

Seth stared at Rainbow Dash's new form. Oh god, he thought. Why did this have to happen?

Rainbow Dash had been turned into a human. She had kept her colouring and her wings, but her basic anatomy was of a human.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! thought Seth. No. Nope. Nuh-uh. Negative. This did not just happen. This did not just happen.

Seth immediately began searching in the book of spells for one that undo what he did. Before he had delved into his search, however, Rainbow Dash woke up.

She sat up, holding her head in her hands. "Ohhhh. My head," she moaned.

She then realized what she was doing and looked at her hands. She looked at Seth. She looked at the rest of her body. She looked at Seth.

It was then that Seth REALLY looked at Rainbow Dash.

She had an athlete's build, fairly short rainbow hair, and a flawless complexion. And her ass. Seth had to do a double take. Dat ass, thought Seth. He looked slightly further up. And those tits!

Seth gave his head a shake. What am I doing? Ogling a fictional characters human-form. That is wrong on so many goddamn levels and I'd probably go to Hell for all of them.

The first words that came out of Rainbow Dash's new mouth was, "Seth...you're so young. I thought you were older, given how smart you are."

Seth cringed.

"This feels so strange. How do you even move around?" asked Rainbow Dash as she tried to stand on two feet.

Fuck, thought Seth. I guess I'll have to turn her back tomorrow. I can't for the life of me concentrate.

"Here, I'll show you how."

Seth spent the next hour teaching Rainbow Dash how to move around and walk as a human. If Seth had been sober, it would have been much easier for both of them. For some reason Seth could not fathom, she was still incredibly light, and her wings were able to support her still.

Rainbow Dash figured that out when she fell and her wings automatically fluttered in response. She spent the next half hour learning how to fly again. By the end of the half hour, she was back to her zippy self.

Before something got out of hand, Seth set down some ground rules. "Alright Dash. I want you to stay in the house tonight. There's no telling what could happen if someone saw you like this."

Rainbow Dash crossed her arms and pouted. "You ruin all my fun!"

"I don't care. I don't want to get banished to some far off island just because I couldn't control myself."

Rainbow Dash alighted to the floor and asked, "Why did you turn me into," she motioned to herself, "this?"

Seth sat down on the floor, book in hand. "I didn't mean to." He looked at the section on transforming. "Apparently, I accidentally cast a "Similarity" spell." He looked at Rainbow Dash. "Although to be honest, you don't look a thing like me."

Rainbow Dash was hovering about three feet off the ground. Hovering there, the scene reminded Seth of a guardian angel watching over him.

"What's a 'guardian angel'?" asked Rainbow Dash.

Oops, thought Seth. I guess I said that out loud.

"An angel is a supernatural being or spirit found in various religions and mythologies. A guardian angel is said angel with protective properties, usually for one person in particular."

Rainbow Dash hovered in place, thinking. "Do you think I'm a guardian angel?"

Seth sighed and said, "I have no idea what to think right now. I'm tired, drunk, and filthy rich if the price of liquor is anything to go by. I'm going to bed."

Seth closed his eyes and fell asleep immediately.

*********************

Seth woke up hung-over and nauseous. He hadn't felt like this since his graduation party. He was lying on the living room floor, right where he fell asleep. Thankful that nothing had happened, he rolled over to get up to get some fresh air. He did not, however, think he would roll into Rainbow Dash's back.

Reacting as if he'd touched an electrical socket with wet hands, Seth jolted backwards into the couch. He sat there, back to the couch, and wondered what the fuck had happened last night. Thankfully for Seth, Dash did not wake up from the momentary contact.

Realizing that he could do nothing about the current situation right this second, he decided to lay back and watch Rainbow Dash sleep.

He felt kind of creepy doing so. Why didn't I feel like this when she pinned my arm? Seth thought to himself. Probably because I didn't consider her an actual person. But now here she is, as much of a person as I am, if not more.

Alright, thought Seth. I don't know what happened, nor do I really want to. I'm just going to turn her back, and hopefully this nightmare will be over.

He found the spell he needed to undo his previous one and cast it as fast as he could. Rainbow Dash's body flashed bright white again, and reverted to its original pony self.

Suddenly exhausted, Seth fell back onto the couch. His last thought before falling asleep was, I sure hope she never tells anypony else about this. They might think I'm homesick.

*********************

Seth woke up several hours later, his headache and nausea gone. Whatever it was that caused him to have high alcoholic tolerance, he was grateful for it. He got up and stretched. He was interrupted by Rainbow Dash.

"You could have at least woke me up first."

Seth cracked his neck and said, "Sorry, but I was in rush to turn you back. What the hell were you doing sleeping beside me anyway?"

"I was being what you called me. A guardian angel."

"I don't one of those. I don't deserve one, let alone one who actually exists."

He looked over at her and noticed she was near tears.

"What if I wanted to be like that, huh? What if I liked being a human, like you?"

Oh fuck, he thought.

"Rainbow, calm down. The only reason you want to is because it's different. I became a pony for crying out loud, but I didn't enjoy it one bit," said Seth.

"But everything looked so different! It looked cooler, more detailed. Even you."

No, anything but this.

"Dash. No. And that's final," stated Seth.

Seth looked down into the face of Rainbow Dash. Defeat was written all over it.

"Alright, you win. What's your schedule for today?"

Seth didn't look at her as he said, "Eat. Find a house for rent. Get Twilight to teach me how to better control my magic. Pick up my pet. Sleep. Alone, for once."

Rainbow Dash examined her hooves. "I'm sorry for anything I did."

"It's not your fault. I should've gone straight to fucking bed instead of being a drunken twit. I'm just glad nopony was actually hurt," said Seth. He scratched the back of his neck and asked, "Can I still get a ride down?"

Bidding Dash a farewell, Seth went on the search for food. He spotted Applejack next to an apple cart and walked up to her. "Mornin' Applejack. How much for a bushel?"

"Well howdy Seth!" called Applejack. "It's 12 bits, but ya'll can have it for free."

"Nonsense. I have all these bits and nowhere to spend them," said Seth seriously.

Applejack relented and let Seth buy the apples. He then asked her, "Are there any houses for rent? I'd prefer not to buy, as I don't know if I'm going to stay here."

"Why won't you be staying here? I thought you were getting along just fine with everypony. Did something happen?" asked Applejack.

Surprising, thought Seth. Somebody else can inference as well. What he said was, "I'd prefer not to talk about it. As for staying, it will definitely be for at least another week."

Applejack put a hoof to her chin in thought. Eventually, she said, "I believe there's a house for rent near Lyra and Bon Bon's place. If you're going there now, I'd recommend bringing Twilight along with you. If there's anypony that knows contracts, it's her."

Applejack told Seth where he might find them. Thanking her, Seth made his way to the library, only to find it empty. Shrugging, he started walking towards the for-rent house. Without walking far, Seth was distracted by the sound of raised voices. A fight? thought Seth. Surely not, this is a children's cartoon. Curiosity got the better of him, and he went towards the commotion.

Upon arriving, he witnessed a scene that utterly surprised him. There was a dull grey Earth pony with a single coin as his cutie mark yelling at the three fillies he'd met earlier. As Seth got closer, he could hear what the grey pony was saying.

"You three better watch where the hay your going next time, or I swear to Celestia, I'm going to-"

Seth didn't let him finish. "Hey asshole, why don't you pick on someone much bigger than you?"

The grey pony turned to Seth with a look of disgust on his face. "And what are you supposed to be, hmmm? A shaved diamond dog with clothes?"

Seth resisted the urge to break the pompous ponies nose. "I don't know what a diamond dog is, but I know what you are: a miserable excuse for a pony. You should treat people younger than you with respect and not be a complete douche bag towards them. For fuck's sake, they're just fillies."

The grey pony snorted. "My name is Coin Star and I own the coin press located in Canterlot. I may treat whoever any way that I please. I will also not stoop myself to your level by responding to your childish insults."

Alright, though Seth. He asked for it.

Seth swung the bag of apples he was carrying as hard as he could into Coin Star's front leg. He then quickly kicked the other one out with his heel, causing the grey pony to fall to the ground. Seth then grabbed him by the nose, and twisted with all his might. He could hear several audible cracks.

Seth bent down and grabbed Coin Star by the ear and said, "I'm not from here. I don't follow the rules here. And I certainly do not give two shits if you live or die. So tell me...do you want to live, or die?"

The pony writhed in Seth's grasp and said, "Live! I want to live!"

Smiling to himself, Seth said, "Good. Now I want you to apologize to those three fillies and offer them each a third of the bits your carrying on you. If you do this, I'll let you live."

Seth watched as the grey pony meekly walked over to where the Cutie Mark Crusaders were sitting, stunned by the spectacle. He apologized to each of them and gave them a large amount of money each. Seth hoped they wouldn't spend it all in one place. Coin Star then performed the walk of shame out of Ponyville, his head hung low and his tail between his legs.

Pleased with how that went, Seth continued on his way to the house for rent, but stopped in his tracks when he heard Twilight yell, "SETH! Get over here this INSTANT!"

God damnit, thought Seth. And everything was going so well.

Chapter Fourteen

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Fourteen: Foundations of magic

Three minutes earlier, Twilight's perspective:

Twilight was looking forward to today. Spike was off with Rarity finding gems and she had most of the day to herself. She was so entranced in her thoughts that she didn't notice the commotion going on further down the road.

She was snapped out of her reverie by Derpy, who had nearly crashed into her.

"Hey, please be more careful next time!" said Twilight.

Derpy shook her head, revealing her eyes watching opposite directions. "Sorry Twilight. I was in a rush. It seems like there's something happening near the town square."

It was then that Twilight look over and saw something she wished she hadn't. Seth was in the process of berating Coin Star, the filthy rich Earth pony that ran the coin press up near Canterlot. She quickly trotted over, hoping Seth would have the better judgement not to antagonize him any further.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Seth obviously didn't like the last thing Coin Star said, as he quickly closed the gap between them and slammed the bag of apples he was holding into the pony's front leg. Just as quickly, Seth then kicked out his other leg, causing the pony to topple to the ground. He then reached over and grabbed Coin by the nose, twisting with all his might. Even from twenty paces away, the crack was audible.

Twilight then watched Seth whisper something in Coin Star's ear, causing the pony to shudder. She couldn't tell what happened next, as the crowd blocked her view. Angry that Seth had done such a stupid thing, she yelled as loud as she could.

"SETH! Get over here this INSTANT!"

************

Seth strolled along casually to where Twilight had called him. He put on his best false cheer and said overenthusiastically, "Well good morning to you too, Twilight. In fact, I was looking for you. I was hoping-"

The look on Twilight's face made Seth stop talking.

"I mean, whatever did I do wrong?"

Twilight stared at him as if he'd made a gibbering noise instead of an intelligent and witty response. "You just got in a fight with Coin Star! Don't you know who he is? He's one of the richest ponies in Canterlot!"

"I don't care. He was acting like a complete jackass and he deserved every bit of his punishment," stated Seth.

"What could he have possibly done to make you angry enough to break his nose?! You are always the picture of tranquility, making decisions based on facts and evidence!" said Twilight angrily.

Seth's eyes gained a cold sheen. "You obviously missed some important facts. He was picking on three fillies I met earlier. Nice kids, all of them. I asked him to stop. He insulted me, and everypony else in Ponyville. That's when I stepped in."

He looked straight at Twilight. "I don't tolerate insults, to me, or to anypony else that can't properly defend themselves. It reminds me too much of home, and I will never let Equestria become like that."

Twilight was struck by the force of Seth's words. How bad could where he came from possibly be?

"I...I guess I did miss some facts. It was right of you to step in to protect those three, but I still don't wholly approve of the violence."

Nodding, the sheen of Seth's eyes disappeared. "We can agree to disagree. However, I still need your help with something. Are you willing to hear me out?"

"Of course I'll help," said Twilight.

Fifteen minutes and several conversations with the landlord later, Seth and Twilight were sitting in Seth's new living room.

"I can't believe how many bits Celestia gave me," said Seth morosely. His rent was only 250 bits a month. He felt undeserving of it, like he stole or begged it.

"What do you mean?" asked Twilight.

Seth sighed. He liked Twilight, but god forbid she should try to think from his perspective.

"How would you feel if you died and woke up in a strange land, populated by a completely different race of sentient people, who somehow spoke the same language as you? Now, feel like that, and then imagine the ruler of said people handing you a very large sum of money, with little or no effort on your part to earn the money."

Seth's mind drifted to other possibilities. Could she be trying to blackmail me? She never explicitly stated that her and Luna trusted me.

"I would feel undeserving of the money too, I guess," said Twilight.

Seth twiddled his thumbs. "That brings me to another subject: magic. I want you to teach me."

Twilight looked at Seth dumbfounded. "Why would you want me to teach you?"

Seth was confused by her lack of enthusiasm. "What do you mean 'why me'? Because you're the most skilled conjurer in Ponyville at the moment, that's why. Also, I know you better than anypony else here."

"But, but, you're the most intelligent person I know from a civilization so advanced that machines do all the work! You seem to know every answer to any question that is asked of you, not to mention the fact that you're physically imposing."

Seth snorted in barely contained laughter. "I'm flattered that you think so highly of me Twilight, but magic is far out of my league, and you're the only pony I'm willing to trust to teach me how to use it properly. Sure, I could borrow a hundred books and lock myself in here, but that nullifies the point. The point is: I need your help, and your help only."

Seth's eyes glinted in a joke known only to him. "As for physically imposing, it's all a matter of perspective."

"Well, if I'm the only pony who can help you, I guess I'll give my best effort into helping you learn magic," said Twilight.

"Perfect," said Seth with a grin. "Oh, and one more thing. My civilization may seem advanced and knowledgeable, but reality, this reality, is far superior to anything and everything I came from. As for machines doing all the work...watch the movie "The Terminator" on your phone. You'll come around to liking having no machines here."

*************************

"I don't understand!" said a frustrated Twilight.

She had Seth learning how to better control his magic for the better part of two hours before she let him attempt to pick up anything with telekinesis. Seth's first task was to pick up a book off the floor. He did so flawlessly, using his hand to control how and where the book floated through the air. Feeling confident in his abilities, Seth picked up a second book and controlled it with his other hand, executing it perfectly as well. This is what had caused Twilight to not understand.

The sudden words caused Seth to lose his concentration, which in turn caused the books to fall to the ground. "What is there not to understand? I managed the telekinesis spell fairly well, if I say so myself."

"No, that's not it! What I don't understand is how you were able to lift two separate things at once! I've been using magic for most of my life and I can barely muster the concentration necessary to do that!" said Twilight.

Seth shrugged and said, "I don't know what to say. I could control the book with my hand fairly easily, so I figured I would be able to do the same with my other hand."

Twilight stopped fuming. "You were controlling it with your hands? Your magic is supposed to be channeled through your horn, but seeing as you don't have one-"

"HEY!" shouted Seth. Twilight blinked in confusion. Mentally face-palming, Seth said, "Never mind. It would take too long to explain anyways."

Giving Seth an odd look, Twilight continued. "Seeing as you don't have a horn, I guess your body found another way to control and hone your magic by way of your hands. Us unicorns have to concentrate very hard on whatever were trying to accomplish. Any disruptions or second thoughts can either make the spell fail miserably or give it unintended side effects."

She looked at Seth's hands wistfully. "And here you are as a first time magic user and you are able to do something that very few unicorns are capable of doing. I'm no slouch when it comes to magical prowess, but I can't multi-task well enough to lift those two books at once and control them individually."

Seth sat down on the floor and stared at his hands. His hands were his greatest asset in this world. They could operate complex tools, build things at a greater level of finesse than ponies were capable of, apparently even let him control magic better than the best practitioners. These hands gave him an edge in nearly everything.

Should I...Should I tell Twilight about what happened with Rainbow Dash? Would she try something? No, I don't Twilight is that kind of person. Fuck, she seems so distraught that I trounced her ability in the first day of teaching. I wish I could handicap myself or....

Seth inwardly groaned.

...or I could tell Twilight that I found a spell that can temporarily turn her into a human, and make no mention of it happening with Rainbow Dash. Should I tell her? No, that would only cause spite and jealousy. Alright, fuck it. I have nothing left to lose anyway.

Seth cleared his throat and proposed his plan. "Twilight, when I was reading the spell book you lent me, I found a spell called "Similarity" in the transformation section. I think that I can turn you into a human, or at least humanoid, so you can have full control of all the magic at your disposal. Of course, it's all up to you."

Twilight's eyes widened at the proposal. "Are you sure? It might be dangerous..."

Shaking her head, Twilight said, "Oh, to hay with it. I've wanted to see how it feels to walk on two legs ever since I met you. And if my magic gets a boost in control, that's just a bonus!"

Seth found it much easier to cast the spell this time around. He wondered why he didn't try to channel the magic with his hands on previous occasions. Well, he thought. Last time I tried I was drunk, and the time before that I turned into a pony. Hmm, I guess that's why all the people in movies ad games use their hands to draw symbols in the air or to point at the enemy. It actually works.

Drawing the power from deep inside (lol), Seth thought of the spell and directed it towards Twilight. Just like Rainbow Dash, Twilight's body was encased in a blinding white glare but Seth was already prepared by looking away. He waited a few seconds for the light to die down, then looked at what he wrought.

Lying on the floor while curled up in a ball was the human form of Twilight. She retained the horn on her head, which was located slightly above her forehead. As with Rainbow Dash, she was completely naked and her skin was the same colour as the fur she wore as a pony.

Goddamn, thought Seth. Are all the females here this beautiful in human form or am I just that lonely?

Sighing, Seth unbuttoned his dress shirt and carefully placed it on the sleeping Twilight. No sense letting her freeze, thought Seth. He realized that even in human form, Twilight was still only around five feet tall. His shirt nearly covered her entire body, curled up the way she was.

Lying down on the couch, Seth settled in and waited for her to wake up.

Chapter Twelve

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Twelve: A matter of perspective

Seth told his tale of how he met Princess Luna, turned into a pony, ranted at Princess Celestia, and appeared back at Dash's house. He still had no idea how he lost an extra day though, or why Rainbow Dash slept through it.

Seth proposed a theory. "Twilight, what would you do if you saw something go wrong when somepony was using magic for the first time?"

Twilight thought for a moment, as all previous hostility and awkwardness had subsided. "I would probably cast a sleeping spell on them, since nopony can use magic while their sleeping, accidentally or on purpose."

Seth took that information and turned it into a hypothesis. "What if that's exactly what Princess Luna tried to do, except the spell was redirected somehow? Rainbow Dash, you said that you remember waking up to check on the light show, right?"

Rainbow Dash nodded.

Seth nodded as well, pleased with his guess. "If I had to wager, my money would be on Luna attempting to use a sleep spell on me and it redirecting into Rainbow Dash. And that's why, Twilight, we were both gone for two days."

Twilight sheepishly looked at her hooves and said, "I'm sorry for assuming the worst. I'm just glad the both of you are safe."

Rainbow Dash headed towards the door. "Thanks for the concern Twilight, but I gotta fly! My training routine won't practice itself!"

She was about to lift off when she turned around and added, "Oh and Seth? Your welcome to sleep over again if you want. You're the only excuse I have to be able to sleep for a whole day!"

As she turned and flew off, Seth said, "For some reason, I don't think the Wonderbolts will ever let her join."

Twilight, being her questioning self, asked, "Why not? And how did you know she's trying?"

Seth looked at her, his face neutral. "I'm very smart, Twilight Sparkle. I can inference things out of the smallest details and remember most things that I actually care about. They called people like me 'mensa' or 'genius'. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Twilight smiled and said, "I read a lot of the books on your phone. Were people like you common on Earth?"

Shaking his head slowly, Seth said, "Few enough, Twilight. Few enough."

Seth scratched his 6-day beard. "Do you have any books on magical spells? If I'm able to actually cast them, I'd like to learn as many as I can."

Twilight nodded and motioned for Seth to follow. As they were heading towards a bookshelf, Twilight asked, "Why don't you think Dash will make it into the Wonderbolts?"

Seth grinned and said, "I never said that. I said they won't let her join."

Twilight sighed and rephrased her question. "Why won't they let her join?"

Seth grin turned into a full-blown smile. "Because she's too good for them."

Leaving Twilight's house with another book, Seth strolled over to Rarity's boutique to pick up his shoes. He knocked on the door, and was surprised to see one of the little ponies that had bowled him over in the forest open it.

The little unicorn stared at Seth in pure, unadulterated fear.

"Hello there. I've come to talk to Rarity. Is she here?" asked Seth as nicely as he could.

The unicorn stood there in shock.

Sighing, Seth said, "Yes, I know I'm terrifying, I've heard it before. I assure you, however, that I mean no harm to anypony. Now, would you kindly see if Rarity is around?"

Before Sweetie Belle could respond, the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders yelled out, "Now! Get him!"

Seth found himself tackled and being pinned under an orange pegasus with a purple mane alongside a yellow Earth pony with a red mane. The yellow one was saying, "We got him! We got him! We'll be heroes!"

The orange pegasus said, "I can't wait to tell Rainbow Dash!"

Before Seth could defend himself, Rarity appeared in the doorway and said, "Girls! Get off of Seth this instant!"

The two Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't move. "But this was the monster that we warned ya'll about. Wasn't he dangerous?"

"Yes, I am dangerous, but only when I want to be," said Seth as he stood up, making the two fillies tumble to the ground.

Seth brushed himself off and said, "Hello Rarity. Sorry I'm late picking up my shoes, but I had some...delays."

Sweetie Belle, who was hiding behind her sister, piped up and asked, "Rarity, is what he's saying true?"

Rarity rolled her eyes and said, "Yes Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, I want you to apologize to Mr. Seth. He has acted like a complete gentlecolt and is not deserving of such accusations."

The two fillies stared at their hooves and said, "Sorry Mr. Seth."

Seth laughed and said, "That's quite alright. You two were just trying to protect your friend from me. I know how threatening I can look, especially considering I dwarf everypony in size. Next time, however, I'd advise you to ask an adult for help, much like when I first arrived here. Not that you three aren't intimidating, but I'm sure some creatures wouldn't be as understanding as I am."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders felt their chests swell up in pride. A tall and scary creature just called them intimidating!

"Thank you Mr. Seth!" the three called out happily before running down the road.

Rarity looked at Seth. "You could have gotten up the whole time and yet you chose to let them have their fun. You are an interesting person, Seth.

Seth smiled. "I try." He looked at Rarity and said, "They were nice fillies. I take it Sweetie Belle is yours?"

Rarity looked at him with mild shock on her face. "Good heavens, no. She's my younger sister. I'm looking after to her for a bit, as our parent's are in town."

"Oh," said Seth eloquently.

Anxious to change the subject, Seth asked Rarity, "Are my shoes ready? The weather is nice and all, but there's nothing like a good pair of shoes."

"Yes. In fact they've been ready since yesterday morning. What was it that delayed you so?"

Seth told Rarity about what everything that happened since leaving her shop the first time. By the end of it, Seth had some kick-ass shoes. Well, more like boots, thought Seth abstractly. Boot-shoes? Boose. Speaking of booze, I could use a drink. This has been one hell of an interesting few days.

"Hey Rarity, is there anywhere I can get a drink? You know, drink drink."

Rarity put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Now that you mention it, I do recall a bar opening up recently, near the edge of town."

Perfect, thought Seth. Thanking Rarity again, Seth was about to head over to the bar when he realized he didn't have any money. He didn't even know what money here was. Luckily, his dilemma was resolved when a letter appeared out of thin air in front of him. Seth opened the letter and read:

Dear Seth,

Luna and I have discussed whether or not you are to be trusted. After reviewing your memories, we thought it wise to allow you to continue your stay in Ponyville, as long as you behave yourself. As for currency, enclosed in the coin purse in front of you is 5000 bits. This should be sufficient until you can find a job for yourself.

Regarding your transformation capabilities, we both thought it wise for you to be either human or pony, and to not show your transformation to anypony else.
Luna and I are both equally sorrowful for the losses of which you have suffered, and we both hope that you may find peace in Equestria.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

"Ask and you shall receive," muttered Seth as he read over the letter. He couldn't tell whether the princess was lying or not. He decided to think about it later. Now, he was going to get wasted.

4 hours and many drinks later...

Seth stumbled out of the bar, waving goodbye to the friends he had made there. He liked talking to drunk people. They made him feel smarter.

Realizing he had nothing to do, Seth groggily sat down on a park bench. He checked his pockets for something to entertain him, and stumbled upon his gun. He pulled it out and examined it. Full on ammo, hardly any use. He hoped he never had to use it. Carefully putting it away, Seth checked his book bag. Noticing the new book he borrowed from Twilight's, he decided to read it.

After an hour of reading, Seth made it the type of magic that most interested him: transformation magic. He quickly read through the chapter, but had to repeatedly re-read some sections. Apparently double-vision makes it difficult to read. Go figure.

Just as Seth was finishing the section on transformation, he was startled by Rainbow Dash.

"Hiya Seth! Whatcha doing?" asked Rainbow Dash.

Seth lost his already precarious balance and fell to the ground. He looked up at her and said, "You know, unraveling the secrets of the Universe. The usual."

Rainbow Dash cocked her head and asked, "What? Really?"

Seth laughed and said, "Naw, I'm just trolling. I'm actually trying to read a book while drunk. Not as easy as it sounds."

Rainbow Dash wasn't buying it. "Are you sure? You don't sound drunk."

Seth staggered to his feet, holding his head in his hand. "I've been told that before. Something about high alcohol tolerance or some bullshit like that. Regardless, I'm pretty wasted. Can I stay over at your place again? I don't trust myself to walk." Seth giggled at his last joke.

Smirking, Dash said, "Fine. I'm not going to catch you if you fall, though.

"Yay!" exclaimed Seth. He climbed onto Rainbow Dash's back. "Giddy up! Giddy up magic flying rainbow pony!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and flew to her house with Seth somehow managing to keep his balance. After entering the house, Seth made a beeline for the couch and flopped onto it.

"Oh my god! Clouds are soo fucking soft!" said Seth drunkenly.

Realizing he had an audience, Seth sat up. He remembered reading something about being able to transform others.

"Hey Rainbow, wanna help me test something?" asked Seth.

Rainbow Dash was understandably skeptical. "Test what?"

Seth pulled out his spell book. "You just stay right there. I got this."

Seth reached into himself to pull the magic that he knew was there. It instinctively responded, engulfing Seth in a silvery aura. He checked the book again, and said the words to the spell, directing it at Rainbow Dash.

A great flash of light came from Rainbow, blinding Seth momentarily.

He looked up, and witnessed what he'd done.

"Oh sweet Jesus, what did I do?"