The Dark Lady of Ponykind

by Some Dickhead

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Star Wars, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1081

Emperor Palpatine becomes Princess Celestia

Princess Celestia has a talk with her newest student.

A parody of iwoaforever's The God Empress of Ponykind

Published 2022-06-27 04:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-27 04:50:01 UTC

Unlimited Power

"Princess?"

Celestia looked up from her tea and met the wide-eyed filly with a motherly smile.

"Yes, my little apprentice?"

Twilight blushed before gazing down at her fidgeting hooves, letting out a low mumble as her ears flattened against her head.

The alicorn allowed herself a laugh. They were always so shy at the start. So shocked that their princess would deign to pick them, of all the foals in Equestria. So overwhelmed at the sight of their new home, the glory and splendor of Canterlot Castle. So fearful that she'd get rid of them, toss them aside at the slightest hint of failure.

All strong feelings, and all feelings that she could use.

"Come now, dear girl, there's no need to be so nervous. Tell me, what's bothering you?"

Taking a deep breath, Twilight forced herself to meet Celestia's eyes, apprehension roiling within her own.

"When … when I hatched the egg, and my magic got … loose, it … well, it broke a lot of stuff, and hurt a lot of ponies, and … " She trailed off and turned to the side, before squaring her shoulders and raising her chin—strong willed, this one. "I didn't mean to, and I'm sorry … but you took me as your student anyways and brought me here and … I mean, why me? And why aren't you mad at me?"

Celestia's smile became a touch more knowing. She tapped a hoof on the armchair beside her and beckoned the filly towards it with an outstretched wing.

"Come, come, sit down. That's certainly more comfortable than standing at attention."

The filly stared for a moment before nodding her head, and plodded towards the chair with an uncertain mixture of relief and resignation. Settling in the center of the cushion, Twilight straightened her back and held her ears forward, the seeming model of attentiveness, and silently prayed that she wouldn't collapse into a trembling pile of nerves.

"Would you like some tea?"

Twilight blinked, then swallowed.

"Yes, please."

A golden aura enveloped the teapot, and it slowly poured into a matching cup.

"This is an Earl Grey. Have you ever had this sort of tea before?"

The filly shook her head.

"Well, there's no time like the present, I suppose. Rather malty flavor, floral too, with strong hints of citrus. Somewhat like a nice dark chocolate with bits of orange in it, if one wishes to indulge in metaphor."

The cup floated over to the side table that sat between them, steam curling in the candlelight.

"Thank you."

Celestia flashed Twilight a grin.

"You're quite welcome, child."

The alicorn returned to her tea and took a sip, leaning back in her seat with a satisfied sigh. Twilight seemed to ponder her own cup for a second or so before lighting her horn and grabbing it with her wobbling magic. She leaned over the armrest and craned her neck, not trusting herself to keep it steady, and scrunched her muzzle and furrowed her brow the second the tea met her tongue.

Celestia looked over and laughed.

"It can be an acquired taste, I'm afraid. Would you prefer something else?"

Twilight paused, then forced herself to take another sip—eager to emulate, pliable.

"No, I … I'm alright."

Celestia hummed, setting her cup next to the teapot.

"You see, my apprentice, not all ponies are created equal. Whether due to genetics, environment, or simple random chance, some ponies have stronger magic than others. They have an easier time handling more complex spells, and can cast far more of them without getting as tired."

She summoned a pigeon to demonstrate, then banished it with a pop. Twilight, never having seen that sort of magic before, or at least performed so casually, couldn't help but sit there in awe.

"You, little one, possess some of the strongest magic I've seen in centuries. In this sense, you have the potential to surpass most all of my previous students. And potential like that should never go to waste."

Celestia leaned towards the filly.

"As for my lack of anger? Well, it was not you who smashed through that roof or shattered those windows—it was your magic. Raw and uncontrolled, magic naturally seeks to destroy, to violently impose itself on its surroundings. Indeed, one might say that magic has thoughts, desires, feelings … a will."

She allowed a few moments for the thought to digest.

"But if you learn to harness your magic, to subjugate that will to your own, you can instead force it to create, to augment, to transform. Control—that, dear girl, is what will allow your natural strength to translate into greatness, and that is what you will learn under me."

The alicorn fixed Twilight with the slightest hint of a stern look.

"In future, of course, I will hold you to a higher standard. Such outbursts might be acceptable now, but as your skill grows, so too must your restraint. Do you understand?"

Twilight forced out a breath and nodded—some subconscious part of her recognized the question for the order that it was—and Celestia, satisfied, replastered her smile.

She treated Luna far too harshly. That much, if nothing else, could be distilled from her thousand years of reflection. Indeed, in hindsight, the Lunar Rebellion was all but inevitable. She was far too willing to criticize, far too liberal with punishments, and for as much as she elevated the poor girl, that burning resentment only grew hotter with each passing day.

No, the old ways, the rules her old master taught her all those endless years ago, only breed betrayal. So rather than take them, rather than mold them, rather than beat them until their eyes shined with hate, she embraced her students, guided them, loved and protected them as any mother would.

And her students, her children, all accomplished greatness, all found their place as generals and statesmen and mages and philosphers, all added, in their own special ways, to the glorious tapestry that was her rule.

But this one, little Twilight Sparkle, oh, she would absolutely shine. Her magic, her mark, it all pointed to sublime destiny. She would be Celestia's crown jewel, Celestia's greatest accomplishment, and together they would rule until the stars burned out.

Yes, this one will do just fine.

Author's Note

God Empress is about an inflexible utilitarian learning how to actually have and use emotions. This is about a psychopath megalomaniac learning how to best groom children.