Darkness, it came in many different varieties, Twilight mused. There was the darkness of blinking, the brief period of dark between light that was hardly noticeable. There was the darkness that came when the lights were out and the windows were covered. It, like blinking, was brief, merely a transition between the darkness outside and then the darkness that came with closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep.
This, Twilight Sparkle had decided, was not like those times. There was no transition, no reassurance that her eyes were simply closed and she needed only to open them. This was a darkness that consumed every drop of light and left nothing in its wake, there were no shapes, no specks of light, and even her limbs seemed to pass through each other. It was as if the dark had consumed even the concept of space.
Magic had been the first thing Twilight Sparkle had tried to use to fight the black but when she tried to draw deep, mentally clutching the ball of mana that had burned in her being, she instead found it empty. Even her magic, her soul, her very being had been removed and though she felt fear, it was brief, quickly being consumed.
There was no light, no space, no magic, no nothing. There was only darkness. Crushing, empty and all-consuming darkness.
Even her attempts at keeping time were useless, every time she thought she had begun counting she could only make it a few seconds before losing her train of thought. Like fear, time was lost to the black. Though that in itself was a blessing in disguise, there was no pain, no misery, no hope that lasted for longer than a second, all was consumed.
After what felt like either an eternity or a second, Twilight felt something strange. Pressure. She had assumed that even that particular sensation had been consumed and yet she felt it still. A heavy weight resting on her chest, so heavy in fact that if she had any desire to breathe she would no doubt be panicking.
She grabbed at the weight with her hooves or at least tried to. Like before, her hooves seemed to slip through each other, making the alicorn grimace as she felt her limbs somehow overlap in the same section of space-time.
She tried her magic again, trying in vain to find that deep part of herself where her mana usually resided. Again she found nothing, only this time it felt different. Before there was the absence of anything, she could not even find the part of herself that contained her essence. Now, although she found it empty, she did indeed find that part of herself.
She focused on that part of herself, trying desperately to draw on any little drop of power she may have had. She felt her eyes squint closed and though she found no hint at the power she once held, she realized something much more important.
She could think!
As silly as it sounded, Twilight was utterly delighted to feel her thoughts flow through her mind. For the first time in what may well have been an eternity, she could form a coherent, complete thought before it was consumed, forgotten the instant it was eaten. With the return of thought came the return of time, with her thoughts allowed to linger she was able to realize that time was indeed passing.
Where am I? What is going on? Why is it so dark?
The mere act of thinking and remembering that she thought those silly little words were enough to make the alicorn’s heart flutter in her chest and she would have let out an exuberant cry if she could. Instead, she had to be satisfied with imaging herself doing just that.
Thinking quickly, Twilight thought back, searching through her memories to a point, any point that she could remember before this moment before she came to this dark and terrible place. She remembered going to bed, and that was simply it. No climactic battle, no ancient evil, just sleep. How could this be? Surely this is not some form of sleep paralysis.
Twilight had read accounts of such a thing happening and they were not at all like this. Perhaps she was merely the first to have such a strange form of it? Regardless, though she was still a little panicky about not being able to move her physical limbs or open her eyes, she could finally think, and for now, that was enough.
Alright, Twilight just hold it together and wait it out, if this really is sleep paralysis then it's only a matter of time before my body catches up with me and I fully awaken.
With that calm, reasonable, and well-intentioned thought firmly in mind, Twilight did just that.
Time passed by and though she was aware of its passing waiting was still difficult as she had no true frame of mind. In the end, she resorted to merely counting upwards at a slow even pace, using it as a way to keep her addled mind calm while still tracking the passage of time.
Somewhere around three hundred and fifty or so, Twilight began to feel the weight on her chest grow even heavier and she could feel a sudden urgentnes begin to unwind inside of her. She didn't feel the desire to breathe, no burning, or any other sensation that comes with not being able to breathe but she did feel that familiar sense of panic.
What was going on?
When she couldn't answer her own question she tried her hooves and her magic again, reaching for the spot on her chest that she could feel the weight bearing down on physicaly and magically. Her hooves did nothing, though they at least stopped passing through each other, which was quite a relief. Her magic was still useless but she did feel the distant sensation of her body beginning to gather and produce mana, meaning she would be able to use her magic soon which was another relief.
I must be in a coma. It was the only logical explanation for the strange state she had found herself in. The pressure on her chest was probably just a blanket and she probably couldn't breathe because she was hooked up to a respirator.
All I have to do is move enough to alert the nurse or doctor. She reasoned.
Keeping a mental eye on her mana reserves she moved slowly and deliberately, waving her hooves and shaking her head from side to side.
Nothing happened.
The weight wasn't removed, and worse still she was beginning to feel a burning sensation from where her lungs should be.
In desperation she began to flail her hooves wildly, hoping they would alert the world to her plight. On and on the weight increased without reperieve until the alicorn felt as though her entire being was about to be crushed under the titanic weight.
Come on, come on, come on! She desperately thought while feeling mana begin to course through her once more.
With a burst of energy, she flared her horn in an explosion of force that briefly illuminated the void. For one brief and tiny second, she bore witness to a seemingly limitless emptiness terrifying her to her very core. Strange pulsing tentacles thousands of meters long seem to spread in all directions around her, their lavender flesh undulating and spasming as the pony screamed wordlessly.
The light faded quickly but the image remained. Her body had been changed, warped, and stretched in a truly grotesque fashion.
This is a nightmare! She smartly reasoned, unaware of just how right she truly was.
As the light vanished she became painfully aware of the fact that she could feel every single one of those strange limbs, their vast twisting lengths pulsing with a strange vigor, as if they wanted her to move. Innumerable appendages of varied lengths spread forth in all directions from her very being and threatened to shatter her very sanity.
No! She cried, gripping onto the last traces of hope.
She had faced down monsters, gods, and demons the likes of which would send a normal mortal pony screaming in the other direction. She was an alicorn, the most powerful of the pony races, and more than that she had friends that would help her through anything! This little nightmare was nothing compared to what she had fought for and she would not let it win!
A burst of light briefly blinded the strange aberration Twilight had become and the creature lifted an enormous tentacle in front of its eye, shielding itself from the illumination.
She pulled the limb down and out of the way, putting the strange limb out of her mind. Luna had no doubt found her and this light was the way out she had wished for!
By sheer force of will, Twilight pulled herself up towards the light, fighting the pressure and the creeping dread that came from her inequine form. Slowly, painfully slowly she urged her way onward, fighting tooth and nail against the weight that held her down. She grit her teeth and pushed onwards, her spirit valiantly shoving back against the clawing void.
The light grew closer with every second she clawed her way desperately towards it.
Her lungs burned hot and she could feel the panic she had pushed down begin to surge forth. Rather than fight the pain and fear and desperation she channeled them towards her desperate climb. With a renewed urgency she clawed and clambered, pushed and shoved her way closer until her entire vision was consumed by the light.
Twilight Sparkle burst forth into the world once more, sputtering and hacking at the strange liquid in her lungs. She could feel her eyes were open but she could see nothing but the all-consuming white that she had seen in the last moments of her nightmare.
Uncoordinated and frantic limbs scrambled at her surroundings, still desperately trying to pull herself towards the light.
But there was no weight, no burn, no panic. She could breathe and she could think.
The alicorn pounded against her chest, trying to dislodge whatever coated her throat and lungs. After several disgusting, hacking coughs she felt the fluid loosen and splatter across the ground.
Never before had she been so thankful to hear such a rancid sound.
With her senses returning she slowed her panicked breathing and closed her eyes, using Cadence’s old breathing technique to fend off the worst of her fear. Steadily her breathing returned to normal and her senses slowly returned to her.
She could feel a soft and gentle wind caress her wet fur, slipping down her back and brushing against her mane. The wind whistled past her ears, filling her being with the calm that only nature could bring. She could smell the country air carried through a nearby window, the scent of fresh dew and vegetation marred somewhat by the familiar smell of her crystal home and something strangely metallic smelling.
With great reluctance the mare opened her eyes once more, unaware of the horror that awaited her.
Her hooves were covered in blood, her legs were covered in blood, and there was more, far more of the stuff. It covered every inch of her from nose to hoof and pooled all around her. Her blood-curdling scream was cut short as noticed that she was surrounded not only by blood but organs and viscera of what looked like a pony.
She couldn't feel anything wrong with herself, but if it wasn't her blood then…
The mare turned slowly, unsure if she truly wanted to know what happened. Steeling herself she turned all the way around only to stand there, slack-jawed.
There on the ground next to her bed was… herself.
The mare had her coloration, her mane, and tail, even her cutie mark and she lay on her side curled into a ball, her face twisted in unspeakable agony. Her rib cage was bent outwards and had broken through her town flesh, as if something the size of a full-grown pony had burst forth from her midsection, splattering the room with her entrails.
Twilight blinked and looked down to where she stood, realization slowly dawning on her
The last few seconds of her nightmare flashed through her mind, the explosion of magic, the desperate rush as she clawed her way through something. Had she been the one to burst forth from this other pony? The trail of crimson that connected them seemed to imply as such.
The strangled scream she had suppressed came surging to the surface and she cried out in confused agony. If she had been the one to emerge from the alicorn next to her, than what was she?
Twilight backpedaled frantically, her eyes unable to tear themself away from her doppelganger’s. There was pain there but more than that there was confusion as if in her last moments this other Twilight weaped not for the end but for an answer. The still living Twilight tripped over her end table and landed in a heap, her terrified screaming finally coming to an end when she managed to push herself back into the corner of the room.
With frantic eyes wide with shock she breathed hard, looking about the ruined space.
Think Twilight, think! What could possibly explain this? There has to be a reason, there is always a reason!
Was this a prank? No, there was no way any of my friends would be this sadistic. It's an illusion! The alicorn closed her eyes and funneled power into her horn, casting a quick spell on herself that allowed her to see through illusions as if they weren't even there. When her eyes opened once more they glowed with a white, aetherial light.
She glanced down at her pulsating hooves only to see that they were still stained red with the blood of her doppelganger who in turn still lay there, the same confused and pained expression on her face.
“No. This isn't possible, this can't be happening,” Twilight muttered, her eyes zipping back and forth, hoping she could find something that was an illusion.
The blood was still there, the guts were still there, and the haphazard pile her blankets had made after being pulled from the bed was still there. Everything was exactly the same, only one thing felt off.
She had only glanced at her hooves briefly but even then she knew something was wrong. She was about to look down at her hooves only to hear the scamper of Spike’s feet down the hall.
“Twilight! Twilight are you there! Are you alright!” The brave dragon yelled.
The alicorn blanched, she didn't know what was happening or why but she knew she couldn't let Spike see this. She couldn't help but imagine all the damage such a sight would do to a kind, naive child like him.
“I’m alright! It's under control!” She called back, trying to ignore the strange tenor her voice now had.
“Twilight is that you? What happened?” Spike yelled from the other side of the door.
“Nothing, it's alright, just a little… accident! Could you send a letter to Celestia for me?” Her voice grew stranger with every word, her tone shifting with every word.
“You sound… strange. I’m coming in!”
The door began to creek open only to slam shut under the force of the alicorn’s raspberry-colored magic. “No! You can't! It's uh… still dangerous in here! But only for non-alicorns! Send a letter to Celestia, please!”
“Alright.” the little dragon responded. “I trust you. What should it say?”
“Just tell her that I was using alicorn magic and it didn't work right, tell her to come here right away!” By the end of her sentence, Twilight's voice had changed so drastically it didn't even sound like herself but the mare pushed that thought from her mind, for now.
Twilight lay there, her hooves pressed over her mouth, suppressing the urge to scream or even speak. On the other side of the door, Spike stood silently, as if the dragon was quietly wondering what to do. Then he scampered off, sprinting down the hall, hopefully to send a letter, Twilight thought to herself.
With him gone, the alicorn cleared her throat and began whispering to herself.
“Test, test, test,” she muttered.
Again, her voice was strange, deep, guttural, like some enormous creature shouting from the bottom of an enormous pit. The final tail end of its cry echoed up Twilight's throat and spilled out of her mouth as barely more than a whisper. It was horrifying, utterly alien yet oddly nostalgic, eliciting the kind of familiarity that came when one heard themselves speak.
Choosing to ignore that thought for the moment, Twilight glanced over to her copy’s corpse again. She noted that its bottom half was still dangling from the side of the bed, one leg hanging off the edge. It was a grizzly sight, though for some reason it was becoming less and less horrifying with each passing second.
It almost looks like a teleportation accident, but that's impossible. Unless I’m some sort of changeling? Twilight thought, her horn already lighting up.
Casting the familiar anti-changeling spell was easy most of the time, but now for whatever reason, it was even simpler. Twilight barely even had to think about it, she just, cast it. Filing that particular thought away for later, Twilight looked around and down at herself searching for the telltale emerald twinkle of an exposed shape shifter.
Only to find none, just blood, organs, and the mangled corpse of her doppelganger.
Absently Twilight thought about washing herself, of throwing the body away but thought better of it. This was a crime scene, after all, one where she was the primary suspect, and only victim. It was so bizarre that Twilight laughed aloud, though the sound coming out of her throat was more like the gurgling scream of some great serpent then a giggle.
Twilight slammed her mouth shut and pressed her hooves against her lips, panic immediately returning once more. She expected her heart to pound, and her lungs to burn as she began to breathe rapidly yet neither happened. Feeling around on her wrist revealed that Twilight no longer had a heartbeat, nor did she seem to need to breathe.
As no matter how long she held her breath, she did not feel the tell-tale burn of her lungs craving oxygen. Weirder still, Twilight was fairly certain that when she had experienced those sensations earlier she had just been imagining it. The simple truth was that ever since she had awoken she hadn't needed to take a breath, nor had she been aware of her own heartbeat.
The alicorn’s train of thought was knocked off course when a bright flash heralded the arrival of princess Celestia. The alicorn of the sun was resplendent as always, though she wore none of her usual regalia. Just a confused, and hesitant expression that swiftly melted away into a soft, gentle smile.
“Ahh Twilight, ever the early bloomer I see,” Celestia murmured.
“What are you talking about?” Twilight demanded, only to slam her hooves over her mouth.
Celestia blinked. “How interesting, you sound like one of the krakans of old.”
“Please tell me what's going on,” Twilight whispered.
“Before we get to that, I must apologize,” Celestia began, a frown crossing her face. “I had hoped to brief you on what to expect as an alicorn, but I’m afraid you surpassed my expectations as usual.”
Twilight remained quiet, only growing more confused by the second.
“Now then, before you emerged did you see something?” Celestia asked.
Twilight nodded. “It was like a great big tentacled creature with an enormous eyeball at its center. When I looked at it, it felt like I was glancing into a mirror.”
“Fascinating,” Celestia muttered. “I always knew that you were more then just the alicorn of friendship, but to gain such an appearance… your true domain must be knowledge, or perhaps magic itself.”
“What are you talking about?” Twilight repeated.
Celestia sighed. “Surely you’ve figured it out by now. That thing was you, Twilight. The flesh before me is like a… sock puppet, moved around by your true being that resides outside of this reality.”
“And you are…” Twilight trailed off, not wanting to hear the answer to her own question.
“All alicorns are, but we all look different. Though they usually take years, or decades even to gestate into their fully grown state and emerge from their mortal body,” Celestia explained, gesturing to the corpse only a few feet away.
“I…I…” Twilight sat there, slack-jawed yet no longer confused.
The blood no longer bothered her, and neither did the death, all that remained unconsumed was her curiosity. Curiosity which she knew was as much a part of her as her own flesh and blood had been. This desire to know, was everything, to search was to breathe, and to know a truly divine ecstasy.
And so she began her search.
Author's Note
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