Ponyville's holding cells were a unique sight for Princess Twilight Sparkle. Between good behaviour, national heroism, and now a direct link to the chain of royal succession, she'd never seen the gloomy rooms before, not that there wasn't impetus for that to change. After the numerous incidents, faux pas and downright catastrophes she and her friends had infrequently caused, the local guards tended to have a certain... prickly mindset when it came to the Element Bearers. They were trouble, sometimes useful trouble, but trouble nonetheless. With this in mind, she tried a lighter touch with her current (and only) companion.
"So...how have things been today?" she added her best smile to the mix. The guard ("Brash Charger" she recalled briefly) narrowed his eyes, well, eye, the other currently swelled shut in a mess of ugly purple.
"Bucking terrible.... Princess," the title added begrudgingly. He'd seen the horrors of Smarty Pants, her new station was meaningless in the face of that trauma. Leaning back from his desk, the overhead fan of the tiny office caught at the aching Pegasus wings, covered in makeshift bandages and bound tightly to his body, the sensation of air on loose feathers pleasant, if fleeting. "We lost three of the five active guards today thanks to the perp."
"Are they-" she ran her tongue around a suddenly dry mouth, the new reality storming over her pleasant Ponyville morning. She was a princess dammit, she could do this!
"No," Brash interrupted, "Star Steel has two broken legs, Oak Shaker's ribs are busted and Emerald Cutter?" he let out a bitter laugh, "Poor old Emerald quit on the spot after we bound the perp, she said, and I quote, 'Let the Bearers deal with this, I'm not paid enough'."
He slowly lowered himself from the desk, each movement a symphony of pain. Offers of medication or duller spells had been refused, and hospital visits were postponed. Alertness was needed right now, that and a big stick in the shape of an alicorn. He'd of preferred Princess Luna, the night was always more pleasant in his opinion, and the moon especially discouraged the more casual of petty thieves. Still, he'd make do with what he had. Ignoring the purple sovereign wincing, he jerkily strode over to a large cardboard box, the words 'evidence' crudely drawn on with marker. Celestia's wings did they ever need better funding.
"This," Brash mumbled, his mouth full of 'evidence', "Is why you're here, or half of it". A blade was gently laid in front of her. "The other is cooling his hooves in a cell right now." A bruised limb gestured to the sheathed sword, "Damn thing is enchanted like nothing I've ever seen, perp sliced through an entire building in one strike," he saw the princess's eyes widen and snorted, "Yeah, the only reason I've still got my wings is Stony Shore tackled me." The landing had been rough, but only left them with aches and sprains, unlike the empty costume shop. Damp Spin was going to sue, he just knew it.
Twilight plodded slowly around the weapon, assessing its every detail keenly. It wasn't Equestrian, that she was sure of. The lacquered dark wood sheathe, intricate leather grip, gold inlay and blue cord implied Neighponese if anything, but the stylings were...off somehow. It was the little things, the gold was too finely detailed, the leather too white. Not only that but the dragon pattern on the hilt was a massive red flag. The Neighponese hated dragons with a passion, no weapon of theirs would bear such a marking. She briefly considered drawing it, but her texts (both historical and fanciful) suggested loosening a blade only led to bigger problems. On to the next phase.
"Brash Charger, I need you to step back please," it was said earnestly but the princess couldn't help a little force being infused. Things could get dangerous very quickly, and the less in the blast radius the better. "I'm going to attempt to scan the sword for magic since it appears...well unusual is 'a' word for it. Now, certain magical artefacts react poorly to outside observation and as such, it'd be best if you get behind me."
He did so with gusto, exceeding her expectations in fact by standing in the open doorway.
A focused beam of violet energy swept outwards from her horn, methodically running over the foreign blade. To the average observer, it appeared nothing more than a simple light show, to the user though the spell was a headache in potentia. Wincing as a flood of information assaulted her mindscape she let out a quiet growl, the mundane facts were nice, but ultimately pointless, though the spell made sure every facet was accounted for. Within seconds, however, she wished the spell was still relaying mere weights and measurements to her.
Brash would admit to having misgivings over the newest princess, but he was still, at heart, a decent pony. So when the young royal dropped to her knees gasping for air, eyes blazing an ultramarine light, he did what he was good at. He charged.
Contact was a split second, his sheer bulk making up for the lightness inherent in every pegasi's hollow bones. As they careened though he was sure this was it. Treason, execution, then flayed for display. In hindsight it made sense why Luna was his favourite, he always did have a fondness for the more gruesome tales.
"Thank you, Brash." despite having an immortal body capable of incredible feats, there was still a distinctive weakness in the alicorn's voice, her breathing regulated, but haggard, as she extradited herself from the jumble of limbs the two had become. "I'm impressed you knew physical disruption would break the connection though, Scaramouch's See All isn't widely known outside of Canterlot's stuffier arcane societies."
A shaky limb raised itself in the pony equivalent of a thumbs up. Its owner would remember in the future that despite looking like normal (if tall) ponies, alicorns were *dense*.
"I think," Twilight said with a rarely used steel in her voice, "it's time we spoke to the owner of this thing."
Author's Note
Very much a crack-y idea treated with a degree of seriousness.
We never actually see any form of security in Ponyville, therefore I assumed it does exist, it's just never on screen. That's not to say many denizens of Ponyville haven't made numerous complaints about our heroines, just that the Diarchy are willing to lean a tad on the more serious and cover compensation for the petty. I suspect if any of the Mane six had prior experience it would be Rainbow Dash for destruction of public property, though Rarity could feasibly have a "Disturbing the peace" somewhere for an overly dramatic meltdown.
Pony Japan hating dragons was a little flair I added to avoid a 1:1 cultural copy-paste, you tend to lose the awe and wonder when they steal all your gems and wreck up the place.
