Thinking Fast: Of Pranks and Failed Infiltrations

by BottleH2O

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Pharynx, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Thorax
Length: 4381

Pharynx sets up a series of traps for Thorax to test him. Chrysalis tries to break into the hive again. And neither one of their plans are going to go right, much to their dismay.

Pharynx is getting tired of all the silly games and activities that the Changeling hive now does. He's starting to feel like they are completely abandoning their warrior ways in favor of being all cutesy and adorable like the ponies. And he won't have it! Which is why he wants to test his little brother Thorax and see if he's really the king he things he is now that he's implementing all these changes. If he fails the tests then Pharynx will surely convince him to convert back to the old ways! How hard could this be?

Gift for Tsitra360

Contains Micro/Macro

Published 2022-06-28 20:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-28 20:20:00 UTC

Think Fast!

“Alright everyling! It’s time for our daily arts and crafts session!” a teal changeling announced happily. An eruption of cheers sprang up all around the large spherical room that 20 pastel colored, reformed changelings were packed up in. All together they begun to break up into little groups as they met up with their friends and brought out their materials from the previous arts session and they had been in. Some changelings had clay pots they were working on, others were working on glass sculptures of exotic plants that were found in the badlands, and some were simply painting landscapes in a group purely from their imagination.

“That’s it class!” the same teal changeling said giddily “Let the creativity flow through out and bring out your inner peace. The power of art links us all together! Much like the magic of friendship!”

But as the changelings all got to work on their individual projects, there was one particular changeling that was all happy and smiling. Standing at the back of the room, gritting his teeth, and holding a block of clay was Pharynx.

And he was one unhappy ‘ling.

“This is ridiculous!” Pharynx though as he angrily began mashing the clay in his black hooves “The changelings are a proud warrior race. We take pride in being one of the fiercest fighters in all of Equis! How have we sunk so low that we have been relegated to a bunch of softy pushovers?”

As Pharynx looked around at the assembled Changelings present, all of them chatting it up with their friends and having a good time while they worked on their projects.

“Look at them all. We used to be battle ready at a moments notice. Now we’re…doing arts and crafts? This cannot stand!” Pharynx angrily grumbled in his mind as he absently mindedly began forming the clay, his eyes completely off his project as he surveyed the room.

“We’re only like this now because of my idiot brother Thorax thinking everything will always be peaceful now that we’re allied with the ponies. Well, newsflash little bro! We still haven’t found mom yet and who knows what kind of scheme she’s cooking up wherever she is,” Pharynx’s disinterested forelegs still molding the clay as he continued to stare around at the gathered ‘lings.

The hive’s activities have definitely taken a turn recently. Instead of warrior training, they were instead spending time coloring, sewing, sculpture making, poetry, and tap dancing. And those were just the ones Pharynx could think of off the top of his head.

“Maybe…I could give Thorax a little wake up call. Yeah! That’s what I’ll do! I can give him a bunch of surprise tests and prove to him that he’s gotten soft! Once he fails them he’ll have no choice but to admit I’m right and I can start strengthening our forces more for when mom tries to come back,” Pharynx felt himself getting excited, this is what he was best at after all. He was a born and natural fighter. What good was that in a time of piece? He couldn’t let their victories defeat them! The Changelings must still stay strong no matter what! And definitely not slack off and have fun.

Pharynx quickly got back to his hooves and darted out of the room, preparing to get the traps…I mean, tests ready for Thorax.

“Wait!” The teal Changeling wailed at the sight of the disappearing changeling prince “Your wonderful art sir! The majesty! The excellence! You have a knack for the arts that bind us all together! Come back!”

But Pharynx didn’t look back as he darted through the halls, a goofy grin beginning to spread across his face as he thought about the possibilities of what traps to lay, all while leaving behind his clay sculpture. A perfect, near exact clay copy of himself he had made without even paying attention.

Queen Chrysalis held up a pair of binoculars to her eyes as she hid behind a pair of rocks. Twigs and leaves were all over her mane as a green army helmet sat atop her head. She stared intently at the changeling hive in the distance.

“10-4 minions. This is your beautiful and glorious Queen talking. I have eyes on the traitors,” Chrysalis whispered intently.

She lowered the binoculars and looked at the hive in concentration, her forked tongue sticking out as she plotted in her mind how to infiltrate. Suddenly her ears perked up.

“Yessss. Very good my minions. An excellent suggestion! Going in through the front entrance will surely work.” Chrysalis cackled “they’ll never see something so obvious coming,”

She turned around and faced all of her many minions with a big grin on her face. There, positioned in a semi-circle behind her was a cluster of rocks she had gathered and set up in piles. All of which had frowny faces she had drawn on in permanent marker. And there at the front and center of the pile was a familiar purple log.

Said purple log used to be a mean version of Twilight Sparkle. But due to unforeseen consequences that were totally out of the Queen’s hooves and were definitely not her fault. Her grand plan of making mean versions of the mane six went up in smoke. All because the stupid tree of Harmoney didn’t think her awesome plan she spent 10 minutes on would work. Or something like that.

“That’s right Twilight Stumpy!” Chrysalis announced loudly, pointing a large, black foreleg at the purple log “Soon I’ll be back in my hive and then I’ll regain control of it!”

The purple log just sat there innocently.

“Why yes, of course I have no idea how I’ll get my changelings back. But I’ll figure it out as I go along,”

No response came from the log

Chrysalis gritted her fangs “Don’t you mock me Stumpy! This plan is foolproof!” she cried in anger.

A single pebble from the rock pile fell down and clattered onto the ground

“Insubordination!”Chrysalis yelled as she shot a beam of magic at the rocks “How dare you laugh at you beautiful Queen’s plan!”

The rocks were all blasted away, leaving only the purple log, Twilight Stumpy.

Chrysalis gave the log a stink eye “Just you wait Stumpy. I’ll have my hive back under my control in no time,” she said as she drew two black lines under both her eyes with the marker.

“Ah yes, traditional war paint will suit me quite nicely for the task ahead,” she happily. Though unfortunately for Chrysalis, she failed to realize that because her chitin was completely back, the black marker did absolutely nothing to enhance her look.

Chrysalis perched up on the top of the rock, wiggling in excitement “Now. Time to infiltrate my old hive. And for somepony and smart and gorgeous as myself, this will be a piece of cake!”

Pharynx giggled wickedly as he tightened the final rope in the hallway with his teeth. This was going to be perfect!

“Alright let’s see, I have everything in place. The pit traps, flamethrowers, swinging axes, and giant bolders. No way Thorax is getting out of this one,” Pharynx thought as he rubbed his hooves together. As he finished tightening the final knot on the trip wire at the end of the hallway, he heard the sound of somepony whistling. And there was no mistaking who it was.

Thorax

Pharynx’s ears perked up as he grinned “This is where the fun begins,” he whispered to himself as he darted into another nearby room to witness the spectacle himself.

Down at the other end of the hallway, Thorax, the newly appointed King of the Changelings was whistling a merry tune as he absentmindedly wandered down the hallway.

He had his muzzle buried deep in a bunch of official documents that he was reading over as he walked. At least a dozen papers were floating around his face, completely obstructing his view.

Pharynx grinned toothily as he watched his little brother come down the hall. He reached over to his side and pressed a button on a small remote, activating the trap.

All at once the hallway sprang to life, axes swung down from the ceiling crazily, blocking the path, flame throwers bellowed out their fiery interiors, arrows whizzed from side to side, and even knockout gas blew into the end of the hallway.

Pharynx smirked as he saw Thorax come to a halt, looking around at the chaos in the hallway in complete confusion “Yes. Lets see it Thorax. Let’s see you completely loose your nerve and beg for me to help you again like you always used to do. That will be the definitive proof I need that the Changelings have gotten weaker!”

Pharynx waited. And waited. And waited. But still nothing came.

He frowned and glanced back over at Thorax, expecting to see a frightened look on his face. But to his surprise he had a tired yet amused look on his face. Thorax let out a small laugh as all the papers he was levitating neatly stacked together and poofed out of existence

“Alright, very funny everyling,” Thorax said with a laugh as he looked around “You got me good. Who came up with this one? Was it you Pincer? Or did you set this up Doomie?”

Receiving no response, Thorax leaned forward, still with a smile on his face as he tried to find the perpetrator. But like before, noling would fess up. And Pharynx certainly wasn’t going to. This was his test after all!

“Alright, I guess I’ll just have to go through this extremely dangerous hallway,” Thorax said playfully as he began to casually walk forward.

Pharynx stared with a raised eyebrow “Surely he’s not actually going to-”

But before he could continue his jaw dropped as he saw Thorax effortlessly evade every single one of the traps. He gracefully jumped though the pair of swinging axes as they collided together in a shower of sparks, next he elegantly maneuvered through the fire and the flames that were being bellowed out by the flamethrowers, after that the arrows in the walls began to launch out at breakneck speed. Thorax simply giggled like a child and lit up his horns.

With a POP Thorax had shrunk himself down to the size of a fly and easily bypassed every one of the hundreds of arrows that Pharynx had planted there. The wooden rods of the arrows, once small, slender, and hard to avoid were now as large as trees and Throax was able to easily dodge every single one.

Once safely on the other side of the arrows, the final trap was knockout gas. Thorax returned to normal and eyed up the green smoke that was filling the corridor. Rolling his eyes with a small smirk he simply flapped his wings and blew a gust of wind that cleared out all of the foul-smelling smoke from the hallway.

“And that takes care of that!” Thorax said brightly with a smile as he opened the door into the and trotted inside, once more whistling that same happy tune from before closing the door with a small click.

Pharynx just sat there in disbelief with his jaw hanging open as he stared at the closed door. “There was no way that just happened! Thorax was supposed to be frightened! He always is! Not…whatever that was! Where did he even learn to do that?” Pharynx thought. He glanced down at the remote for all the traps and pushed the button, turning them all off before throwing it down the hall in disgust.

“Well. That went completely wrong. Time for some…drastic measures,” He thought as he silently made his way out of the hall and towards the exit of the hive. Time to use the special ability that both of the brothers shared.

But as Pharynx left the hall, it soon came to be occupied by another Changeling. One very unwelcomed Changeling.

“Hehehehehe! I’ve done it! I’ve infiltrated my hive!” Chrysalis cackled to herself as she was still laying prone on the ground and crawling forward “That’s right Twilight Stumpy, who’s the smartest and most beautiful Queen around? This ‘ling right here!”

Chrysalis sat up, grinning toothily as she looked around “And now to find the throne room and reinstate myself as the ruler of the hive. My Changelings will surely flock to me again once they see me on my magnificent throne!”

With her half-baked plan in mind, Chrysalis set off down the seemingly innocent looking hallway.

BEEP

Blinking in confusion, she looked down and saw that she had stepped on a random remote with a large red button on it. Chrysalis looked at it in confusion before kicking it aside

“Begone foul thing! You are in the way of my glorious- EEEEEEEK!”

Chrysalis dove forward, Daring Do style, as a humongous pair of twin axes swung down from the ceiling.

“Wh-Why is that even there?!” She spluttered out, wincing as they collided in another shower of sparks. But it didn’t end there. Chrysalis heard the unmistakable sound of something powering up.

Slowly turning her head around, she found herself looking right down the barrel of two large flamethrowers.

“Oh horsefeathers,” Was all she managed to think before a column of flames shot out with a loud FWOOSH!

“AHHHHHHHHH! MY BUTT’S ON FIRE!!!” Chrysalis screamed as she scampered around in the hallway trying desperately to put it out. As she scurried down the hallway, she passed by two walls lined with hundreds of holes in them. Before her mind could even process what she was seeing, hundreds of arrows shot out of them, towards her.

“YIPE!” Chrysalis leapt, ducked, and rolled around trying as hard as she could to avoid the arrows, finally reaching the end of the hall and crashing through the door. Leaving behind a Chrysalis shaped hole inside it as she continued screaming down the halls with her rear still on fire.

Inside the throne room Thorax was seated on his throne, still rifling through his stack of official documents.

“Let’s see here. Current state of the hive, overall mood, and relationships with other nations. So far, so good!” Thorax said happily as he looked around the hive.

He could see changelings all happily playing around with each other, some of them talking with their peers and others were going about and doing some of the activities and games that Thorax had thought up to keep everyling happy.

But, he did have to admit, he has noticed a growing resentment in his brother Pharynx as of late. He tries to have him included as much as possible in the activities, so he doesn’t feel left out but that has seemed to have done little to help.

“Now what could I do to make Pharynx feel more welcomed?” Thorax thought as he magicked the papers away and sat back on his throne as he pondered the question. Completely unaware that Pharynx had his own plans currently in action.

Outside of the Changeling hive Pharynx stepped out into the light, blinking the morning light out his eyes, he quickly spread his wings and took off towards the top of a nearby hill. Taking care to not be spotted accidently by any other Changeling. Once he reached the top of the hill his horns began to glow, and light surrounded his body.

You see, there’s a little-known ability that very few changelings possess that they can tap into. We know that Changelings can shapeshift into anything right? Well, why not shapeshift into a giant version of themselves?

And that was exactly what Pharynx was planning to do to enact the next phase of his plan.

Slowly we see Pharynx’s form becoming larger and larger, passing 50 feet, then 100 feet, and even more after. The ground began to rumble as the royal bug continued to gain height.

When Pharynx finally stopped growing the entire changeling hive was now no bigger than a desk lamp.

So, what was Pharynx’s next genius plan? Well, he simply reached down, gripped the entire hive, plucked it out of the ground, and began to shake it around while yelling “Earthquake!!”

Inside the hive was pandemonium as everything was quaking and trembling around the changelings.

“AAAH! WHAT’S HAPPENING?” one changeling yelled out in panic as they scampered around

“THE END OF TIMES IS UPON US!!” the art changeling from earlier cried out as they dramatically put a hoof to their forehead and fainted

“MY COOKIES ARE BURING IN THE OVEN!!” another yelled

“IT’S MY EX! SHE’S BACK FOR REVENGE!!” a fourth changeling screamed in terror as he joined in the senseless running back and forth around the hive as it continued to shake.

All the while Thorax just looked around in complete confusion as to what in the world was going on. A few pillars around him falling to the ground as the hive trembled around him.

That is, until he heard a very familiar voice coming from outside yelling “EARTHQUAKE!” amidst the shaking.

“Ugh….” Thorax sighed in exhaustion as he lit up his own horns. Magic spreading to his body as spread his own wings and took flight, looping though a nearby window and outside of the hive.

But back inside the hive after Thorax left, in the midst of the chaos, there was a certain changeling among the rest who certainly looked like she didn’t belong.

Chrysalis, thankfully not with her rear on fire, was being tossed and turned like a salad amidst the strange shakings.

“EEEEEEEEEEK!” she shrieked as she fell face first into a pile of clay that was left over from the arts and crafts session. But the ride didn’t end there, as the rumbling continued, she found herself airborne again and flung into a nearby fountain. Spluttering, Chrysalis sprang out from the cold water, shaking herself down like a dog.

“As if this can’t get any worse,” she thought bitterly, brushing aside the dripping wet bangs of green hair from her snout. But as we know, never tempt fate because it will always respond in kind. One particularly violent shake caused the former Queen to be lifted off her hooves and sent flying like a rocket out of a well-placed window of the hive and straight outside, only just managing to hang on to one of the spires. Chrysalis tightly clung onto her little safe haven as the entire hive continued to be jostled around.

Peaking open one of her eyes she looked up from the spire she was hugging and out into the distance. Chrysalis let out a small “Meep!” of fear as she gazed upon the culprit responsible for the hive shaking around. A gigantic Pharynx was gripping the hive in his hooves as he shook it around, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he was executing his task. And behind him there was another form approaching, shrouded in a glowing blue light.

Thorax exploded into form from the light and proceeded to increase in size as well. First as tall as the trees, then the size of the hive, matching Pharynx in height soon after, and continuing from there. Eventually Thorax reached the size of a mountain. Clouds floating past his neck and torso as he looked down at his little big brother with an unamused expression.

“Pharynx, why are you shaking the Kingdom?” Thorax asked.

“You must be ready for anything!!” Pharynx exclaimed with a bit of a crazed expression on his face “Like sneak attacks! Quick! What do you do if an enemy randomly becomes huge and starts shaking the hive around?”

Thorax just stares at him blankly before letting out a tired sigh and boops him on the snout.

Pharynx blinked, his initial tirade fizzled out as he wrinkled his nose from the boop. A grimace forming on his face as he begins talking in a nasally voice.

“A-A-ACHOOOO!!!” Pharynx sneezes heavily, accidently dropping the hive as he did so as he covered his nose

Thankfully Thorax made the save as he caught the hive in his magic. Unfortunately, if we zoom in a little on the hive, unaware to the two titanic brothers, a tiny little black dot got caught up in the sneeze. A high pitched squealing could faintly be heard as Chrysalis was sent careening away off the spire she was holding on to from the force of the sneeze, falling down towards the ground.

With a SPLAT! Chrysalis belly flopped down into the mud on the ground below.

“Honestly Pharynx, you should be more careful, you almost dropped the hive” Thorax lightly chastised as he lightly side stepped around his still sneezing brother and held the kingdom over the muddy hole Pharynx had pulled it out of and began to set it back down.

Chrysalis lifted up her muddy head and blinked as the world around her began to darken. Looking left and right in confusion she saw nothing. But then her ears flattened against her head as she slowly looked up, seeing the underside of the Changeling hive being lowered down above her.

“W-wait! NOOOOOO!!” she hollered out as she got to her hooves and tried to scamper away. But unfortunately for our blundering Queen, she slipped on the mud once more and fell with a splat again just as Thorax set the entire hive back down on the ground with a small BOOM.

“Really?!” Chrysalis’ muffled voice piped up furiously from underneath the rock.

Sitting back up, Thorax turned and to face his brother who had finally stopped sneezing. “Alright Pharynx, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Pharynx frowned and turned his nose upwards “Nothing.” He said stiffly

“Come on Pharynx, we both know that’s not true. You didn’t just set a whole hallway of traps, grow huge, and shake up the hive for nothing. Please tell me?” Thorax asked, his eyes going wide as he gave his big brother a puppy dog look.

Pharynx rolled his eyes and glared at his big little brother “Get that ridiculous look off your face. You represent the hive for goodness sake!”

“Will you tell me what’s wrong if I do?”

“The answer is still no,”

“How about over a nice cup of tea?” Thorax offered hopefully as he conjured up a sized-up tea kettle and two building sized teacups.

“I don’t like tea,” Pharynx replied flatly as he narrowed his eyes at the kettle while Thorax began pouring the piping hot drink into the two cups.

“I’ve never even seen you try tea before Pharynx. Come one, just one sip and it’ll be over!” Thorax said with a big grin as he leaned in close, their snouts practically touching each others.

“Alright! Alright! Just stop pestering me!” Pharynx said as he swatted away his brothers lime green nose and took one of the steaming hot cups in his magic.

He took a cautious sip and swallowed. For a second noling moved. Then Pharynx’s ears shot up as he took another sip. And another. And another.

Thorax looked on with a triumphant grin as Pharynx finished his cup in seconds, licking his lips in satisfaction before freezing in his tracks as he looked up at Thorax’s grinning face.

“It’s ok…” he said

“Shall I pour you another cup?” Thorax asked knowingly

Pharynx said nothing as he levitated his cup forward, accepting the refill.

“So, are you ready to tell me what’s wrong? Talking about your feelings over a nice cup of tea always helps! Thorax said brightly.

“….Fine,” Pharynx said begrudgingly as he sat down on the ground. The tiny hive in front of him like a table.

Thorax’s smile couldn’t have been any wider as he took a steaming cup of tea (recommended personally by Princess Celestia) and prepared to sit down himself.

Down below, a trail of dirt could be seen moving away from the base of the Changeling hive Thorax had set down and moving forward. Chrysalis’ head popped up in a shower of dirt. Looking around in triumph she poked up her forelegs and placed them on the ground. Chrysalis grunted with effort as she struggled to pull herself out of the ground.

“Come on! I have not put on weight! A queen should be able to do any task flawlessly! Chrysalis exclaimed as a few beads of sweat trickled down her cheeks.

Finally, after a few more seconds of unqueenlylike effort, she popped out of the hold she had dug herself out of.

“Yes! Yes! Free at last! Now I can get my revenge on my treacherous hive!” She exclaimed victoriously.

But unfortunately for Chrysalis, she soon found herself in a familiar situation as her surroundings around her began to darken once more.

“Oh, what now?!” she growled in frustration as she looked up at the sky. Only for her eyes to shrink to pinpricks and her ears folded back against her head as she gazed up at the gargantuan form of Thorax’s green underside lowering itself onto the ground.

Chrysalis let out one last squeaky “MEEP!” of fear just as the titanic form of Thorax sat down with a thunderous BOOM!

“Alright Pharynx, what’s bothering you?” Thorax asked his brother, who was busy sipping at his tea. Pharynx sighed as he began to tell Thorax everything. About his feelings of being left behind amidst the hive’s progress and how he’s now feeling like he’s obsolete. Thorax listened attentively to his dear brother, promising to do whatever he could to help him out.

What he wasn’t listening to however was the small, smushed form of Chrysalis stuck underneath him, silently raging her fury despite her predicament.

“Hate them. Hate them both,” she thought bitterly as she silently waited for the colossal king to stand back up. Who knew how long that was going to take? Looks like the former Queen was in for an extremely long wait.

Author's Note

This was a story I have had planned for a while ever since I was inspired by this picture that was made by Tsitra360

As such, I wanted to make a small, one shot story based off of this picture. Hope everyone likes it!