Only if you want it to be
“My brother,” began Fluttershy evenly, “got into a fight with Discord. Twice. I haven’t been able to really talk to Discord since.”
“Is… is Zephyr okay?”
“Yes! Yes he’s fine.” Fluttershy’s lower lip quivered. “’Fight’ might be too strong a word. He was more than his usual ‘rude’ to Discord. He was hostile. Twice. And Discord was the model of restraint. I could tell he was angry and hurt, but he was holding back because Zephyr is my family. I know not everyone knows Discord like I do but –”
She paused as Twilight held up a hoof, and realized she was completely breathless.
“It’s okay, Fluttershy. I trust you, and Discord trusts you with his life. In fact you’re probably the only pony Discord truly trusts with anything.”
Twilight took a long sip of her tea.
Fluttershy reached for the cup in front of her, hoping to do the same, but found she couldn’t steel her stomach enough to fathom putting anything in her mouth. Twilight’s sentiment, strangely, did nothing to ease her thoughts, but she did not yet have the words to articulate why.
She settled simply for holding the teacup and feeling its warmth. This, at least, gave her enough of a calm thing to focus on that she could steady her breathing.
“Thank you for having me, Twilight.”
“Fluttershy, I will always make time for you if you need it.”
A passing cloud made the sunlight twinkle through the stained-glass window of the castle tea room.
“When you’re ready,” said Twilight, “perhaps you’d better start from the beginning.”
It started at my dad’s birthday party.
My parents have always been a little awkward around Discord, but that’s normal for them to be awkward around other people. They’re just a little extra awkward around him because, well, he did try to take over the world.
I think he’d probably interrupt me right now and say, “But I’m reformed!”
Anyway, before this I had brought Discord along to a stylist convention Zephyr invited me to. Zephyr was kind of rude and dismissive to Discord at that time, but we both thought it was because he was under a lot of stress, and he was being a little moody.
This time, when we got to the front door, it was Zephyr who answered it, and he was rude right off the bat. He said “Hi” to me but rolled his eyes when he saw Discord.
We went inside and had some snacks and started talking to my parents. The conversation seemed pretty relaxed and happy for several minutes.
Somehow the topic of Zephyr’s dating life came up and my parents praised him for starting to cook for his significant other. He seemed happy that he was finally learning to cook some things that were actually interesting to him.
I mentioned that Discord had taken an interest in cooking recently and came up with some really fascinating dishes. Discord briefly explained the thought behind his Beets Foster recipe and how I was his taste tester for getting things right.
My parents seemed happy about this, but Zephyr said, “Yes. Well, I cook without the intent to torture my partner.”
“It’s not torturing anyone,” I said, “I’m happy to try some of Discords recipes.”
Zephyr mumbled something.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Only because he’s holding you hostage.” Zephyr said.
Discord and I shared a glance after this. Then he very dramatically gestured to a golden duck strapped to his wrist and said, “Oh look at the time! I should be getting along to run some errands. I’ll see you at home, dearest?”
We shared a quick peck and then he poofed away.
I cornered Zephyr and asked him why he was being so hostile to Discord.
“Flutter brutter, isn’t he just using you? I’ll be honest, he’s a thousand-year old chaos god and it seems like the only reason he’s acting nice is because otherwise he doesn’t get to be with you.”
My heart dropped out at this point, but Zephyr continued.
“You’re the only pony he even likes, and he’s not going to get help from anyone else. That’s why he’s nice to you.
I tried to interject, but Zephyr pushed on.
“When you’re gone, he’s probably going to turn everything into cotton candy or something again. It’s a bad relationship. He’s just holding you hostage.”
I was absolutely furious!
I know Discord had a rocky start, but he hasn’t been that self-centered or acted that thoughtlessly since even before we started dating. I wouldn’t have started dating him if I still felt obligated to be with him. I mean, we’ve been together for two years now. Why is Zephyr bringing this up now?
I took a moment to gather myself, and then I told Zephyr that that was an unfair judgement to pass on Discord. Discord had definitely changed from when he was first reformed. Even if Zephyr didn’t trust Discord, he should trust my judgement of character.
It’s my choice to be with Discord, not just Discord’s. Zephyr seemed to accept that, but in his usual dismissive way that I might still be wrong, telling me that I’d been hurt before. I really didn’t want to bring up that three years ago, it was Zephyr himself that had taken advantage of my kindness.
When I got home, I complained to Discord that Zephyr came to me afterwards and told me he thought Discord was just using me and holding me hostage. Discord got really quiet and we haven’t really talked about it in the two days since. I just feel awful about it, and I don’t know what to do. He shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of hostility, and I don’t want to lose him just because of my family.
Twilight was still listening intently, cup of tea untouched since Fluttershy began her story in earnest.
Fluttershy took a deep breath and continued, “The thing is, I think in some ways Zephyr is right. When we were first ‘friends’ it really was like Discord was holding me hostage, like our friendship was the only thing stopping him from ruining everyone else’s lives. I know you thought the same when I first started making friends with Discord.”
Fluttershy paused to blink a few times.
“But that’s changed over time! I wouldn’t have wanted to be Discord’s partner if it hadn’t changed over time. I still wanted to be his friend because I saw something in him. Something funny, something quirky, and a unique insight and thoughtfulness in the way he interacts with people. And Discord hasn’t done a single thing to violate anypony’s autonomy since before we started dating, whether I’m around or not.”
Fluttershy found she could now take a sip from her tea.
“And I was right, wasn’t I? Discord would never hurt me, and he also respects me. Because he respects me, he wouldn’t hurt my friends. He isn’t holding me hostage, he holds himself accountable even when I’m not around because he knows there are certain things I wouldn’t like. I know when I’m gone, he’ll do his best to honor my memory, and he isn’t going to try to take over the world and corrupt it. I’m sure of that.”
Fluttershy heaved a big sigh.
“And Zephyr must have known that on some level. Because there’s no way he could have been that hostile if he wasn’t sure Discord wouldn’t do anything to him. But it did make me think a little bit. I don’t want to be the only thing Discord has in the world. I can’t be the only person he respects. If he’s mostly doing this for me, he’ll be miserable once I’m gone. Maybe I’m just stopping him from being what he wants to be.”
“Hold onto that thought for a moment, Fluttershy. I’m pretty sure Discord doesn’t feel that way. Do you think I can get him here and talk to both of you?”
“I… I guess that would be okay. I can wait for a bit.”
“You won’t have to wait long.” Twilight took a thick wooden box out from under the table and opened it. “Discord?” she spoke into the box. “I think you should come in now.”
Fluttershy stared wide-eyed as Discord came in through the door. No fanfare, no quirky entrance, no aplomb. Something was different about his head. He was missing his ears.
Twilight handed him the box she had just taken out.
“He came to me this morning as well,” Twilight explained. “He was terrified that your relationship might be in danger. I told him you were also on your way, and that I’d talk to him until you arrived and then see if all three of us could talk.”
“I wasn’t listening in,” said Discord, as he took his ears from the box and put them back on his head. “I didn’t want to violate your privacy.” He looked sad. “And I certainly don’t want to make you feel obligated to stay with me. I don’t want you to be with me just because you feel like I’m holding you hostage.”
“I don’t feel like you’re holding me hostage!” Fluttershy exclaimed, “I chose to be with you and do the things I’ve done for you. I’ve been trying to drive that into Zephyr’s head too. And you shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of rudeness from my family.”
Discord rose into the air. “I haven’t had the best track record, Fluttershy! I acted out so many times when you weren’t around!”
“Discord!” Twilight held up both arms and interjected. It suddenly occurred to Fluttershy, from the length of those arms, that Twilight had grown almost to Celestia’s size in the last 2 years since she and Discord had become partners.
“We talked about this in the morning already,” Twilight continued, eyes fixed on Discord’s, “Fluttershy chose to be your friend, and if she chooses to be your partner, that is her choice.”
“I know!” Discord exclaimed, “But that choice shouldn’t be just because she’s worried I’ll hurt some –”
“Stop.” Twilight said the word with a quiet finality. Discord fidgeted uncomfortably. Fluttershy wanted to reach out to comfort him, but found herself acutely aware that her own presence was one of the things making him uncomfortable.
Then Twilight poured out a new cup of tea for Discord, who accepted it awkwardly. “Both of you have said some things that I think the other needs to hear. I promise you both, from what I’m hearing, that I don’t think your relationship is in danger.”
Twilight paused for a moment to let her words settle. Fluttershy tried to take a deep breath. She noticed Discord had stopped wringing his hands.
“Fluttershy mentioned to me, in no uncertain terms, that even if the rest of us felt you were holding her hostage in some way, she knows you respect her whether she’s around you or not, and respect her enough to hold yourself accountable even when she’s not around. Is that accurate, Fluttershy?”
“Yes, and –”
“Fluttershy you were saying something about being worried that Discord was only doing all this for you, and maybe feeling like you were holding him hostage in some way?”
A feeling of smallness hit Fluttershy very hard, and she trembled slightly. That was a good way of putting it, she supposed. She took a moment to gather her thoughts.
“Discord, I don’t feel like you’re holding me hostage. I think I was worried about that when we were first friends, but that changed rapidly. I’d never have started a romantic relationship with you if I didn’t trust you to respect me. I know you’ve changed the way you act, and the way you act to other ponies because you respect me. But I don’t want you to have to do all this just for me, because then when I’m gone you’ll be miserable, even though I trust you to behave yourself. You deserve better than that.”
“Fluttershy!” Discord exclaimed, then he took her hooves in his hands. But then he promptly let go of her hooves and paced in that snakey way he did when he was trying to think, alternatively drawing a figure-eight in the air with his body and pacing on the ground. Then he picked up her hooves again.
“Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy. Do you really think that I’m still doing all of this for you? I’m doing this now because you showed me how much better it is than being alone and causing chaos for chaos’s sake.” He dropped one of her hooves and touched her teacup, which sprouted legs and began tap-dancing.
In spite of suppressing a sob, Fluttershy giggled.
“It’s so much more fun to cause chaos for the sake of others!”
Fluttershy blinked back a tear. She knew that. She knew he had changed. She noticed Discord was blinking back a tear as well. He took her hoof back in his hand.
“I have other friends besides you, Fluttershy. Twilight is my friend. I do trust her too, just not in the same way I trust you. I still play Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike and Big Mac every other week. I’m not just doing this for you, but you’re the one who showed me that the magic of friendship was something I could like. And as time went on you made me realize that maybe I had room for the magic of love in my heart as well. Because the more friends I made, the more I realized how special you were.”
Twilight chimed in. “It’s true, he wouldn’t have come to me for advice unless he trusted and respected someone other than you, Fluttershy.” She set down an empty teacup. “Discord, it sounds like you’re saying that you’ve found a love for the Magic of Friendship outside of Fluttershy, but she’s special to you because she’s what made that possible. Is that accurate?”
Discord nodded, and then seemed to study Fluttershy’s eyes.
“You really felt like you were holding me hostage? I’m the Lord of Chaos! Even after we became friends I caused destructive chaos so many times, despite your objections. That changed over time because I wanted to change. Not because you made me. But I will completely understand if you can’t let go of the feeling that you’re the only reason I’m behaving. I know I’ve acted out in the past.” He let go of Fluttershy’s hooves again to let her wipe a tear from her eyes, then began speaking more gently. “You really don’t feel like I’m holding you hostage anymore right?”
Fluttershy nodded, and was able to bring another smile to her face. “You couldn’t hold me hostage, Discord. I know you wouldn’t. That’s the first thing I learned about you.”
Discord pulled at her arms, and Fluttershy let herself be drawn into his embrace. She hugged him back, pressing her face fiercely into his chest. They stayed in the embrace for a time that made it clear neither wanted to let go.
“Please don’t make me think of a future when you’re gone,” said Discord, “I promise you I won’t turn the world inside out, and I promise you I’m not just doing that for you.”
“Mmm pfh hhah,” she mumbled into his chest.
Discord let her go. “What was that?”
“I’m sorry Zephyr was so rude to you. It wasn’t fair.”
“It’s not your fault.” Discord said. “Can I make his hair explode?”
“Just once,” said Fluttershy.
They both began laughing and twirled around each other before settling down.
“Well!” said Twilight, “I’m glad both of you were able to talk that out, and it was nice to see both of you again. I’m going to give both of you some time alone and get back to court.” And with that she walked out of the tea room.
Everything was probably going to be okay after all. Fluttershy leaned her head against Discord. It was good to have friends, thought Fluttershy, and it was good to have fallen in love.
Author's Note
This is my attempt to fix Fluttercord.
This actually grew out of some in-law troubles myself and my partner were(are?) having, though it’s become a useful lens to examine Fluttercord with.
I have… problems with Fluttercord. In short, I think that for Fluttershy and Discord to have a healthy romantic partnership:
- It has to be convincing that Discord respects people other than Fluttershy.
- It has to be convincing that Discord has matured beyond needing Fluttershy to hold him accountable.
- It has to be convincing that Fluttershy doesn’t just feel obligated to be with Discord.
- It has to be convincing that both of them approached the relationship on equal ground.
In my opinion, we have evidence of 1) and 2) in the show, at least enough to gloss over any further maturation of Discord. 3) and 4) are really hard, because from the very beginning, the show set up Fluttershy as being the only person who could “fix” Discord, and Discord was kind of dumped on her by the powers that be without any real agency on her part. The start of their friendship really is both of them holding each other hostage- Discord constantly threatening to turn the world inside out, and Fluttershy threatening to withdraw her company and her friendship from Discord if he does so. That’s a really unhealthy basis for a romantic partnership.
How can we fix that? Well, we have to illustrate both parties have grown from that dynamic. They do grow a little bit over the show, but I always felt something was missing to catapult them into actual romantic partnership.
In this fic, I can have Zephyr set off the notion that they’re holding each other hostage, have it set off some deep seated insecurities in both Discord and Fluttershy, both of which have to do with feeling that the other might just feel obligated to be with them, and having Fluttershy simultaneously realize that Discord has grown (i.e. he won’t just destroy the world if she’s not around), and not realize how much he has grown (i.e. that he is motivated not to destroy the world for personal reasons, not just for her). Then Discord can explain how much he has, in fact, grown since the show ended, even though he’s primarily concerned with Fluttershy’s feelings. Then both of them have the chance to articulate that they are making their own decisions without feeling obligated to each other, and voila, we’ve had the couple talk out what I think the fundamental insecurity in their relationship is, even though I haven’t explicitly articulated it anywhere in the fic.
So what do you think?
Did I fix the problems I say I perceived in the ship? Let me know!
Thanks for reading, hope it was a good one!
