Author's Note

You stop by Applejack's house and offer to help her with her chores, but you can't help getting a bit distracted while you work.
Character(s): Applejack
Tags: Human/Humanized, Male x Female
Derpibooru ID: 2246661

Distracting Derriere

*Humming*

“Hmm? Oh! Howdy there, sugarcube! Didn't hear you come in. What can I do you for? What's that? You brought me that package from Twilight? Oh, ain't you just as sweet as a candy apple. Thanks a heap for haulin' that all the way out here. I'd have stopped by and picked it up myself, but with Big Mac under the weather, I've had my hands full all day takin' care of his chores and mine. If I weren't so gosh darn busy, I'd get you a slice of apple pie and ice cream to thank you, but you're welcome to help yourself to something before you...

Huh? You want to help me with my chores? Aww, I appreciate the gesture, but you don't really want to spend all day workin' the farm with me. I gotta feed the pigs, dust the livin' room, oil the wagons...and that's just before lunch! Trust me, you don't want nothin' to do with all that. You've already done me a good turn for the day. You run off and have some fun today, and maybe tomorrow we can hang out.

You...you're serious? You really wanna help me? Well...gosh, I...you really are the sweetest guy in town, ain't ya? If you really wanna stay and help, then I'm happy to have you. There should be another broom in the corner over yonder. If you help me finish sweepin' the house, I might just have time to get you that pie later on. No, no, pie later, sweepin' now; those are the rules. Now lets get to it!”

*Sweeping noises*

*Humming*

“You know, sugarcube, I'm awful glad you decided to stick around. I don't really mind the work none, but...it gets a bit borin' just bein' here on my lonesome. The work always feels easier when Mac or Bloom are here to chip in, and not just 'cause of the extra hands. I guess...just bein' around other folks makes a heap of difference, just talkin', jokin', laughin' together. And when y'all really click, you can get so distracted from the grind that you can do an hour's work in just a few minutes, if you catch my meanin'. You know what I mean about gettin' distracted, sugarcube? Sugarcube?”

*Sweeping stops*

“Uh, sugarcube...my eyes are up here. You...wanna tell me why you were just starin' a hole in the back of my jeans the size of the Gastly Gorge, or do I even need to ask? Look, I like you and all, but if you only offered to stick around just so you could get an eyeful, then you can turn around and head right back out the way you came in. I got enough on my plate without havin' to deal with a horndog eyein' me up all day.

You're still sayin' you really want to help me? Sugarcube, I can put up with a lot, but if you go on tellin' lies like that, then you'll be makin' your way outta here with my bootprint on your ass. Look, I get it, alright? You're a guy, and you're gonna want to look at girls, and you're probably gonna make a fool of yourself doin' it. I'm sure there are girls out there that'd love to get that sort of attention, so why don't you go find one of them instead. If you're just gonna stare at me like I'm a piece of meat...

No? What do you mean you don't wanna look at other girls? They're not as...as...pretty as me? Sugarcube...don't play around with me like that. I forgive you for lettin' your eyes wander, but don't make it worse by...

You...you ain't lyin? No...no you ain't; I can see it in your eyes. You...really think I'm...pretty? You think I'm...beautiful? Sugarcube...maybe you think you're tellin' the truth but...that just ain't so. You can't honestly think I look good right now, can you? I mean, look at me. I'm in my old work clothes, I'm all dusty and sweaty, and...I think we can both tell I've been sneakin' a bit too many pieces of pie after supper recently. Trust me, there are much prettier girls out there for you to be spendin' your time with.

Really? You...you really mean all that? You think I look...womanly and...feminine? The...the prettiest girl you ever saw? Sugarcube...you're gonna make me blush talkin' like that. What? You...you just wanted me to understand? Wait, no! You don't have to go! Look, I...I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I just assumed that you were only interested in...you know...

Heh. Well, I...I guess I can't blame you for thinkin' about that at least a little. You are a guy after all. But...you say that's not all? Well, what then? If you ain't just lookin' for a roll in the hay, then...why me? What is it about me that...you like so much?

My...my hair and...my nose? You like my freckly nose? You like the way it...wiggles when I laugh? I've...never had a guy notice that about me before. I'm guessin' you like what's below the neck too; I saw you lookin' after all. You...you like my legs? Really? But...they're all...big and muscly and such. I mean, I could crack a melon with these things, for goodness' sake! Don't guys like girls with...skinnier legs? Not you, eh? Well...I don't know if that makes you the weird one, or me. I reckon you like what I got in the back too. Just be honest with me.

You really think all that? You really like it that much? I mean...I know guys have a thing for...girls' rears, but...don't you think mine's a bit too...big? No? The...the perfect size, you say? You...sugarcube! Ha ha...you're lucky Granny ain't around to hear you talkin' like that, or she'd tan your hide! But...thanks, I suppose. I ain't never had a guy talk so pretty-like about...what I got goin' on.

You said you...can't help but look at me? You can't help but...imagine doin' things with me? What...what kind of things? You wanna...hold me and...kiss me? You wanna...kiss my nose and my cheeks and...everywhere else? You wanna...touch me? Feel my arms and my legs, and my belly and...my...other places? Oh. Oh, sugarcube, you...now you're gettin' me all...distracted too.

Well...tell you what. If you're really serious about all that, serious about...wantin' to be with me, then...maybe we can...give it a try? Maybe...once we're done with the chores then...we could take a little break, just the two of us? I could...let you try some of my...other apple pie. But...before we get back to it...why don't I give you a little...tide-me-over?”

*Smooch*

“I...wow. You...you better get sweepin', mister, 'cause I don't wanna wait one second longer than I have to for more of that.”