Artemis Fowl: The Pony Files

Excerpt from Dr. Jerbal Argon’s journal, XX of XXXXXXXXX, 20XX

Ever since Artemis Fowl the Second made his miraculous recovery from Atlantis Complex, a mental condition which subjected the affected with paranoia, OCD, and multiple personality disorder, among other symptoms. After a month in Foaly and my care, and another with Foaly alone, Artemis seems to have recovered from the Atlantis Complex, in record time! When he came back with his friends from Foaly’s hooves, Artemis seems to have not only recovered, but improved! His personality and outlook on life seemed brighter and nicer! At first I thought that his recovery was only due to his being a human, despite the difficulties in my first (and only) month of research and study. and his sunny (well, sunnier) demeanor was a side effect of the Complex releasing its hold on Artemis’ brain. Little did I know exactly what Foaly, Holly, Minerva, No. 1, Butler, and Qwan were doing to help Artemis, and why it was so secretive.

I had my suspicions, with everyone but Qwan disappearing completely from Haven, Atlantis, and the Surface, and Qwan came out only for the occasional meal. I did receive a letter from Foaly, though. Half-way through the “recovery period”, I received a note from Foaly instructing me to ignore their disappearance, to stop trying to meddle, and to notify Commander Trouble Kelp and Angeline Fowl that “Artemis’ recovery is coming along very nicely. He should be back to his regular self soon”, and to tell Gaspard Paradizo that “his daughter is working on a project with the Fowls”. The letter was slightly torn in numerous places, adding to the suspicion, but I believed that Foaly had everything in control.

However, my suspicions arose once again when Artemis’ healing was complete. When the seven of them walked out of the room, I could tell something was amiss. None of them seemed tired or weak from the month in “solitude”. In fact, they all seemed like they got stronger, both mentally and physically. One thing stuck out in my mind, though. Artemis and Minerva seemed so awkward around each other, like something had happened but they didn’t want anybody to find out.

I tried my best to find out what had happened to the six (save Qwan), but I had no luck. Obviously this “project” of theirs was strictly confidential. This motivated me even more to find out.  Finally, I asked the man (or is it centaur) himself, Foaly. After days of badgering, Foaly relented. This is the truth behind what had happened to Artemis Fowl during those five months. These are…The Pony Files.