The showmare and the filly

by MonsterHunterBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1635

Characterization exercise.

On ponychan's training ground, a thread popped recently proposing a characterization exercise. For the exercise, I asked on the TTG channel who I should pick, and they chose Trixie for me. This is the result of the exercise.

Quoting Ganymede here:
"Here's how this works:

You write a short scene, 500 - 2,000 words, and then we read your scene and tell you how well you wrote that character.

The scene is:

A young filly is crying in the town square.

Write a scene where:

1) Twilight Sparkle happens across the filly during her normal errands.
2) Rainbow Dash sees the filly as she's practicing her stunts.
3) Pinkie Pie comes across the filly as she's doing... whatever it is that Pinkie Pie does.
4) Rarity notices the filly on her way to get more supplies.
5) Fluttershy comforts the filly as she's coming to visit Rarity.
6) Applejack greets the filly as she's coming to setup for the market.

This is a "pick n' choose" list. You don't have to do all of these, and you don't have to write them in any particular order. If there's only one character you think you need work on the most, feel free to only write the scene with that one character.

We're looking for:

1) Dialog
2) Body language
3) Vocabulary
4) Thoughts and internal dialog
5) General approach (how does the character handle the situation?)

There are no rules as to how the scene plays out or how it ends. Just imagine the character in the situation, and play it out exactly as you think it would.

It is HIGHLY SUGGESTED that you put these in a google document, so it doesn't clutter the thread. Also, enable comments.

You may write the scene with a character that is not one of the mane 6, if you wish, although it is recommended that the character have a personality firmly established in cannon. "

Published 2011-12-24 14:47:29 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-24 14:47:29 UTC

The Showmare and the Filly

It was a bright and sunny day in the region of Ponyville, a good news for the town residents attending the yearly harvest festival. While the sun had dried most of the ground from the previous rainy day, there remained some puddles of mud. It was beside one such mud patch that a traveling blue unicorn was in a heated rant against the cart she was pulling.

“How dare you do such thing as abandoning Trixie! After all I did for you, after carrying you all over Equestria, how dare you break a wheel!” She yelled at the wooden structure.

The Great and Powerful Trixie had seen better days, to be blunt, she missed her glory time before she first came to Ponyville. Contracts for her performances became scarce, her income was dwindling and now this: as she carried her contraptions and props cart, one of the wheels cracked, crushed by the weight of the carriage. She wanted to try to get around the small town quickly and unnoticed. She wanted above all to avoid the risk of being ridiculed by those who would remember her previous visit. Yet, fate had other plans for her.

“And,of course, of all places to give up on me, you had to choose this one. What do you have to say for yourself?” No answer came out of the cart, unless the cracking sound of the old wood counted as one. “So that’s how it is, mh? Then let me show you how I, The Great and Powerful Trixie deal with such arrogance!”

She bucked her cart, out of frustration. Turned out it wasn’t such a good idea. Unable to stay balanced with its missing wheel, the large cart toppled on the side. The wooden mass fell in the nearby puddle of muddy water, splashing Trixie all over. It seemed like the cart would have the last word no matter what. Today definitely wasn’t her day. She rummaged through her belonging to find a brown cape, and placed it over her body. Then, she lowered the hood over her horn while making sure the cape covered her haunches and cutie mark.

I guess there is no way around it. I have no choice but to go back in this accursed town. A shiver ran through her spine. Images of her encounter with an Ursa minor sprung back in her mind; reminding her how she failed to repel it, how a certain unicorn succeeded where she failed. Come on Trixie! Stop living in the past. What happened then should not lead your actions— or your thoughts. Today is a different day. “Today, The Great and Powerful Trixie is making her comeback!” she claimed loud and clear while standing straight up. Her confident look soon waned though as she muttered “Actually, maybe my comeback should be tuned down a bit. Wouldn’t want the villagers to ridicule me after that fiasco. Right?”

Trixie headed toward Ponyville’s square. The very place where her misadventure began. On her way, her eyes wandered on the street’s signs. Foals ‘R’ us, Sofa and Quills, Daisy burger. Isn’t there any place where I can find somepony to fix this accursed cart? Now that I think of it, isn’t there anypony in town? A sound reminding her of a flag in the wind reached her ears. She turned her head toward its origin and found the answer to her question. Above an apple filled cart, a large cloth banner was dancing in the wind, on it an announcement was written in bright red letters: This year’s harvest festival will be held at Sweet Apple Acres on October 15, Come one, come all!

And of course, today is Ocober 15. Curses! As if it wasn’t enough to be stranded in this lowly neighborhood, nopony is even around! Aaaagh! She magically grabbed one of the apples in the cart and threw it on the ground, leaving a small fruity mush behind. A faint sound came to her ears, a high pitched voice, accompanied by irregular breathing and sobbing. Curiosity got the best of her and a short investigation of the area revealed the source of the sound. In a nearby alley, a little filly was crying her heart out.

What is going on here? Trixie’s eyes scanned the area. There was absolutely no sign of the child’s parents still being around. Who in their right mind would leave such a young filly on her own like that? No matter. This is not your problem, you have much more important things to take care of! Trixie then turned around and marched away. It oly took a few stes before she stopped, letting out a long drawn out sigh. How can you think such a thing Trixie! You are an entertainer! How dare you turn your back on somepony who could definitely use a smile right now? This won’t do, this won’t do at all! You first chose this path in life because you wanted to bring amazement and joy all around. When did you become so selfish? She turned once more to face the child, she tried her best to use her most comforting voice.

“Hi there, little one. Is there anything Trixie can do for you?”

At the sound of the showmare’s voice, the filly’s ear perked up. She slowly raised her head and met Trixie’s gaze with her own bloodshot eyes.

“I... gonna... to the... got lost!” she cried. Trixie wished she could decipher the meaning behind the sniffling and sobbing. Sadly she did not carry a bawling to english dictionary around.

“Trixie is sorry but she didn’t quite catch everything, care to explain again?”

“I bwAaAaAaAaAh!”

The flow of tears was so intense,Trixie thought for a second that the filly would make a good looking fountain: a sculpture capturing the very essence of sadness. She shook her head to regain focus on the situation at hoof. She never had to deal with children before, let alone a crying filly. Yes, Trixie was very self-centered, but it did not mean she was heartless. What can I do? she thought. How can I, Trixie, come to help this child in distress? Come on Trixie, there is no way a foal is going to get the best out of you! What would your babysitter do when you threw a tantrum? That’s it! It is so obvious!

“Don’t move from here, little one. The great and powerful Trixie will be back in a moment!”

Trixie had been defeated once in Ponyville, but she would make sure it wouldn’t happen twice! Her hooves carried her as fast as ponyly possible until she reached her cart. She magically took most of its content out until she managed to find her starry cape and hat. With a bright purple flash she swapped her brown cape with her showmare attire. She then grabbed a box containing some minor props and turned around to head back to Ponyville. She had a show to give, and she would give her all to bring back a smile to the little one!

Some time later, a pony couple was running around Ponyville.

“Twinkle Sun!” one hollered.

“Where are you, my little Twinky?” the other one implored.

Then, as they crossed the town’s square, they heard a very familiar voice: a giggle they would recognize anywhere.

“Twinkle!” They both called.

In front of them, a showmare they recognized was in the middle of a very impressive trick involving fireworks. When they called, the filly observing the pyrotechnic display turned her head to face her parents. Without a look behind her, she raced to meet them.

“Mommy! Daddy! I’m so sorry I sneaked away when we were heading for the harvest festival... I wanted to see that toy on display at the shop but I lost sight of you... I was lost and I cried a lot, but then Trixie came and built up a show just for me!”

“Oh Twinkle, I’m so glad we found you. We should have kept an eye on you. It’s partly our fault. I guess we should thank this Trixie mare, right?” As the trio turned to face the improvised stage, all they saw was an empty space. The showmare was gone.

Trixie wondered why she felt she needed to leave so quickly. Maybe she felt like the right thing to do was to let the family reunite in peace. Or maybe, just maybe, she learned what modesty meant. As she got out of Ponyville, though, something strange greeted her. Her cart was standing back up once more, and the broken wheel was replaced.

“What the hay?”

When she reached the chariot, she found a small note on the cart’s door.

Hello there miss Trixie. (If I recall your name correctly) I found your cart in a pretty pitiful state as I was helping looking for a lost filly. And darn was I surprised to find you taking care of the kid! As soon as I found out, I went back to Sweet Apple Acres to get the parents, and while they went to get the little one,I took the liberty to fix your cart. If you want to, you are welcome to participate in this year’s harvest festival. Just head over the large orchard east of Ponyville. We hope to have a chance to say hello and to start anew. What do you say, partner?

Maybe your future friend, Applejack.

A smile crept on the showmare’s face.

I guess I could use some time to relax and have fun, and I should probably at least say thank you for the repairs... “Well, here I come Sweet Apple Acres! The Great and Powerful Trixie is on her way!” She claimed with a booming voice filled with renewed confidence.