Before you lies a dragon’s den. Above it is a sign. On it are letters written in blood: “Bad Dragon”

Despite being a grown-up pony, bravery isn’t your strong suit. You can still turn around and trot back to safety. You should leave this place immediately. Yet you don’t.

Even if you go back, there’s nothing to go back to. Upon your departure, you didn’t have to burn a single bridge behind you because there weren’t any in your life to burn. Since you were a foal, you dreamt of becoming part of something greater than yourself. Yet life thus far has been empty and unfulfilled. You have achieved nothing worthwhile. In the eyes of everypony, you are less than nothing. Mistakes of your past will forever haunt you.

A growl from the inside makes your hair stand up.

You should run away, but instead, you firmly step into the darkness before you.

Two eyes lift up in the shadow, staring directly at you. You’ve been spotted.

“What lowlife dares to enter my domain?” booms through your ears.

You try to diffuse the situation by playing tough. “Is that any way to greet a guest? If you have a problem with me, you can at least be civil about it.”

“Is that what you expected from me when you entered my den? Sugar-coating is not my thing. Raw is best.“

“Can’t you at least try to be nice? Would it kill you to treat somepony with a hug instead of a roar?”

“No, but it might kill the pony… I do what I do because I care. I can't order my tail to be less spikey. The best I can do is warn you about it beforeclaw. But you don’t strike me as a creature who would heed a warning.” The dragon wraps its tail around you, snuggling your body. “Why are you here?”

When you finally manage to catch a breath you say, “The world is so cruel to me. So, I sought a place that was as detached from it as possible. I came here.”

“Ah, self-pity, the lowest of pitties. You do know that there are many creatures worse off than you, right?

“Yeah, but I don’t think that making me feel guilty for wanting better is helping much.”

“Are you sure you wanted to visit Bad Dragon and not my evil twin Good Dragon?”

“Now that you mentioned it, maybe he’s the one I should meet.”

“No! You should stay clear of Good Dragon by far. He's into echo chamber circle-jerking woke virtue signaling. All the evils of this world are combined into that one person. But don't worry. I'm the exact opposite of him. I now know what must be done. I'll protect you from Good Dragon and the world.” He wraps the tail tightly around you, preventing your escape. “Stay!”

You whisper since collapsed lungs don’t allow you to speak any louder, “Why is he Good Dragon and you're Bad Dragon? Isn't he the 'Bad' one?”

“Don't you get it? Good is bad. Focusing on good makes you unprepared for the challenges ahead. When the darkness comes, you must already be drenched in it or you shall falter under its weight. I'm trying to help you, pony. Prepare you for the things to come. Good Dragon would tell you what you want to hear and you'd like him for that. That's how evil Good Dragon is!”

“I uh... Yeah, okay.”

“That's right. Stay with me. I will tell you all the ways in which you suck. I do this because I love you. Only by knowing faults can you see the potential for improvement and growth. If you believe yourself to be the pinnacle of evolution, you shall die ignorant and death will catch you by surprise. You are not prepared! Good Dragon would keep you ignorant and docile forever. But I shall keep you on your toes, shattering your hopes and misplaced aspirations. I shall offer you the toughest love there is.”

“With snugs?”

The tail squeezes all air out of your lungs “Sure… with snugs...”

You gasp for air greedily. “...Okay, y-yeah…”

“Mmm, I was hoping you'd see reason. For a moment there, I thought you wanted to stray from the dark path. But now that you’ve chosen to stay here in the darkness with me, you are safe from the world. Good Dragon will never look for us here. Nopony shall ever find you in this denounced, forgotten place. We are alone here, in the darkness.

“Right... Sweet darkness….”

“Well, if you ever crave some light, there's a luminescent carcass in the corner. Or maybe it's just radioactive. Either way, it gives off light if you poke at it.”

“Oh... Uh... No thanks.”

“Good call. Let it stew for a few more days. It takes a while before it starts forming the ominous aroma.”

“Ew…”

“I'm with you all the way. It hasn't even rotted properly yet. Besides that deficiency, you'd have to bite deep to even get to any worms. It needs to stew in its own juices a while longer. However, if you’re really starving, you can have an early bite on one of the moldy, decomposed parts. Good Dragon would never make such an offer to a herbivore pony. He’d probably even dissuade you from eating radioactive rotten flesh altogether. His evil knows no bounds!”

“Let’s just give it some time…”

“Yes. We think so much alike. In the darkness, we shall forge a path to oblivion for the both of us.”

You lean on the dragon’s tail. “If I dismiss the cold and everything else, this place is actually quite nice.”

The dragon wraps his tail around you and breathes hot air to warm you up. "Yes, it's very nice here." He swipes some skeletons into a crevice with a claw.
"Hee hee, I saw that."

“You saw nothing!”

“I enjoy your breathing.”

"Thank you. I enjoy breathing myself. To be honest, my breathing is kind of overpowered.”

“You mean your fire-breath, right?”

“Oh, no. Everycreature can breathe out fire. That’s self-evident. They just choose not to do it, for some reason…”

“You really should socialize more to confirm, or deny, that statement.”

“Breathing alone is actually my greatest talent. In fact, I keep doing it. But I’m not addicted to it. I’m not! I can stop breathing whenever I want. I just choose not to stop…”

“Actually, I think everycreature does that.”

“Nonsense. I’ve yet to see a single corpse breathe. Sure, they explode when they get bloated enough, but that’s not breathing!”

“You know, I breathe also. I bet I could even breathe inside you.”

“So, ‘tis competition then? Believe it or not, I can even breathe in my sleep!"

“I haven’t slept for the longest time myself... The world can be a harsh place. It's nice to have a quiet corner where you can calm down.”

“And store wealth.”

"Am I part of that wealth now?"

“Sure thing. You’re safe here as my hoard. You shall never leave.” He wraps his body around you.

"Thank you." You lay on Bad’s tail, snuggling it.

The dragon licks you.

"Mmmmm," You moan happily.

Bad wraps his tongue around you.
"Oooohhhh." Confused you stare at him.

As the tongue unwraps, it spins you around, making you fall to the ground. When you catch your balance on all four legs, you find yourself fully drenched in slime.

Just before you try to give the dragon a harsh look, he licks your face.

"Aaa!" You rub your eyes, hoping that removing the tearing agent would make the corrosive pain go away. "I'm covered in slime…"

“Too soon?” The dragon asks before he grabs a scalp from a corner and wipes your face with it. "There we go. All better now. Don't mind the smell, though."

“Hey, I don’t like your rough treatment!”

“Well, aren’t you high maintenance...”

“I wish that were true.” You lean on the dragon’s belly. “Nopony even notices me…”

Author's Note

Gdoc