Equestria Baseball Girls

by Brian Sheil

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Equestria Girls, Trixie, Main 7 (EqG), Human
Length: 1870

Nine friends get together to win a baseball game against a bunch of brutes.

Canterlot City's baseball team are being beaten big time by some brutes who play the game their way. When Twilight and her friends were booing the brutes, they find themselves playing the game against these monsters. Let's hope the girls don't strike out against their rough competition. This is my take on the classic Bugs Bunny Cartoon, "Baseball Bugs".

Published 2022-07-12 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-07-12 21:20:00 UTC

Batter Up!

It's a beautiful day at a baseball game. But, the local team, the Canterlot Cruisers, were losing big time to a team called the Bear Growl Brutes. The Cruisers wear white with red sleeves. The brutes wear gray with blue sleeves.. As the game is in the 3rd inning, an announcer is heard.

"And, here we are folks at the Trotter grounds. It's been a rocking, shocking, one sided game from the very beginning." The crowd cheers. "With the visiting team, the Bear Growl Brutes, giving the home team, the Canterlot Cruisers, a thrashing they'll never forget. Baseball fans, Oooooo. There goes a screaming line into left field." (Imagine a baseball with a face screaming across the field.)

It's now the top of the 4th. One the pitchers mound, a muscular man with black hair and stubble holding the ball.

"Home team doesn't have a chance." The announcer said. "But, they keep on punching, never the less."

At bat is a young man with blond hair wearing glasses ready to hit. "I'm only thirty three and a half years old."

The pitcher reaches his hand back, then throws hard. The batter swings and misses. The catcher, who has brown hair, throws the ball back. Receiving the ball, the pitcher smirks. Then, he gives another hard pitch. The catcher caught it without any swinging.

"Ball!" The umpire yells.

The catcher rushes up to the ump, very angry. "No you don't!!"

He punches the ump to the ground until he digged a hole. The ump climbed out the hole. He was very nervous. "I don't know what could've come over me, sir. I meant to say, 'Strike'."

The announcer was up again. "Listen to that crowd roar as the Bear Growl Brutes go up to bat again. Boy, what a game!"

The pitcher tries to pitch past the opposition. But, the Brutes form some kind of conga like as they hit the ball, one after another. The score is soon 95 to 0 in favor of the Brutes. As the crowd cheers, one female voice calls out. "Boo! BOO!!"

That voice belonged to Pinkie Pie as she, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, Trixie, and Starlight Glimmer watch the game with disgust.

"The Bear Growl Brutes are a bunch of dirty players!" Pinkie protested as she munched on some chocolate drizzled popcorn.

"I'll bet we can lick these guys if we were playing them." Sunset added as she sips some water.

"I'm with you, Sunset." Dash said. "We could get up there and, WHAM! A homer. WHAM! Another homer. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Wha..."

The nine girls were glared at by members of the Brutes, who didn't like anybody going against them. Twilight speaks up. "Can we help you, gentlemen?"

Soon, the brutal pitcher walked into the stands and looked at the girls with angry eyes.

"Okay, you dizzy dames!" The pitcher said as he blew smoke from his cigar into Sunset’s face. "So, you girls think you beat us, huh?"

The Brutes dragged the girls onto the field, and threw baseball equipment to them.

"Well," The pitcher said brutally, "you got yourselves a game."

All nine girls got a bit nervous. Soon, an announcement is made.

"Attention, please." The announcer said. "There's been a slight change in the Cruisers lineup." On the field are the girls wearing the uniforms the Cruisers wore. The announcer made with some introductions. "Catching: Rainbow Dash. Right Field: Twilight Sparkle. Left Field: Rarity. Pitching: Pinkie Pie. Third Base: Sunset Shimmer. Centerfield: Fluttershy. First Base: Starlight Glimmer. Shortstop: Applejack. Second Base: Trixie Lulamoon."

Pinkie looked at the batter. It was that cigar puffing brute that brought them into this mess. She winds up, then throws the ball as Rainbow Dash waits for it.

"That a girl, Pinks." Dash called. "Put her right here. This guy's a pushover. Come on, party girl. Give it to him!"

Rainbow caught the ball. But, she fell back against the wall. Recovering, she picks up the ball and walks up to the plate. "That's the old pepper, Pinkie. That's the old pitching them. That putting it over the old plate, Pinks."

Dash throws the ball back to Pinkie. The party girl winds up. Then, she tosses the ball up, adjust herself, and grabs the ball to pitch it. Dash is waiting.

"Put her over the old plate!" Dash calls out. "We got him good. Come on! Come on! Come on!"

The ball lands again in her glove, and she was pushed back. Later, Pinkie prepared herself. "I think I'll perplex him with my slow ball."

Pinkie winds up, then sends the ball slowly across the field. The Brutes tried to hit, but they miss as the umpire calls it out. "Strike 1, 2, 3, You're out!. 1, 2, 3, you're out. 1, 2, 3, you're out!"

The batter threw the bat down in disgust. Pinkie soon went to home plate. "Oh, uh, bat boy."

A young man wearing a Cruisers uniform, and has wings on his back hands a sturdy bat to Pinkie. She readies herself as the cigar puffing pitcher winds up.

"That's the kind of stuff we want to see in there, buddy." Pinkie calls out. "That's the old ginger boy!"

Pinkie hits the ball. The crowd cheered as she rounds the bases. Her teammates cheer for her. But, when she came to home plate, the catcher who whacked the umpire earlier is ready to tag her out.

"Poor Pinkie." Fluttershy said nervously. "What's she going to do?"

"If we know Pinkie," Trixie replied, "she'll have a sneaky surprise for that brute."

Pinkie pulled out a rolled up paper from her hair, then unrolled it. It was a picture of a gorgeous blond girl wearing a black bikini. The catcher whooped and whistled at the picture. He soon bounced out of the way, allowing Pinkie to score for her team.

CHS GIRLS 1
BRUTES 95

"Pretty clever play, Pinkie ." Dash cheered.

"I agree." Trixie added. " Let's see how Starlight fares."

With bat in hand, Starlight is waiting for her pitch. "Right down the old alley!"

Starlight hits the ball, and starts running. While that was going on, the Brutes catcher grabs the umpire and drags him behind a wall. The catcher emerges wearing the umpires uniform as Starlight slides into home.

"You're out!" Yelled the phony ump.

Starlight marches up to him. "Where do you get that malarkey? Im safe!"

"I said you're out!"

"I'm safe!"

"You're out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"Safe! Out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"Safe!"

"Out!"

"I said you're safe!" The angry ump made a threat. "If you don't it, you can go to the showers!"

Starlight gave a calm comment. "Okay, umpire. Have it your way. I'm safe."

The imposter was happy. Suddenly, he realized he was tricked.

CHS GIRLS 2
BRUTES 95

"You got this, Applejack!" Rarity called out.

"Move 'em out, partner!" Pinkie added.

Applejack is at bat, ready to hit. ""Alrighty, boy. Put it right over the old plate!"

The farm girl whacked the ball. A thin Brutes outfielder hopes to catch it. "I got it! I got it! I got it!"

The ball impacted the outfielder. He slid underground, and a tombstone popped out reading, "He got it".

CHS GIRLS 3
BRUTES 95

"Fluttershy looks determined." Trixie noticed.

"Of course." Dash replied. "The Cruisers are her favorite baseball team."

The nature lover hold the bat with authority. "You'll regret hurting my favorite team! Bring it on!"

Fluttershy hits the ball. Another outfielder, with his own cigar, rushes to catch it. The ball hits him and he crashes into a sign reading, "Does your tobacco taste different lately?". His cigar was split apart.

CHS GIRLS 4
BRUTES 95

"Come on, Sunset!" Twilight called out.

"You can do this!" Starlight added.

At bat, Sunset braces herself. "Right down the old alley!"

Sunset hits the ball, and it bounces off the heads of the opposing team. Numbers flash across the board. Then, a sign above the board glowed TILTED! On the pitcher mound, Pinkie winds up, and pitches. The cigar puffing instigator hits it with such force. He runs around thinking he got this. What he doesn't know is that ball rolled over to Twilight. She throws it to Pinkie, who throws it to Rainbow. Before the Brute made it to home base, she tags him hard. The umpire yells, "You're out!"

A bunch of baseball pitchers swirled above his head. Rainbow Dash presented a sign reading "Was this trip really necessary?" Soon, a choir was singing.

🎶 What's the score, friends. How are these ladies doing? What's with the Friendship League Baseball today? 🎶 (song idea from "Baseball Bugs")

Then, the announcer says, "CHS GIRLS 96, BEAR GROWL BRUTES 95."

As the girls prepare themselves, the announcer is heard. "It's the last half of the 9th inning with the girls of Canterlot High School leading 96 to 95. The Brutes have one man on base and two outs. A home run now will win the game for the Brutes."

Hearing the announcement, the cigar puffing pitcher, who was at bat, rushed out of the park to chop down a tall tree. He came back, weilding the tree like a bat. Pinkie readied herself. "Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful paralyzing perfect pachyderma percussion pitch!"

Pinkie revved up, looking at her options, and threw a powerful pitch. But, the Brute hit it so hard, it flew out of the field. Pinkie and the other girls were scared. Suddenly, Twilight ran out of the stadium and approached a taxi cab. "Taxi! Follow that ball!"

She got into the cab, and it drove off. Twilight was confused when it turned around, heading the opposite direction.

"Hey!" Twilight protested. "Wait a minute, sir. You're going the wrong way!"

She then noticed that the driver was that cigar puffing pitcher from the Brutes. He planned to keep her from helping her friends. She exited the cab, and went on a bus ride. As Twilight relaxed while reading a book, she saw the ball flying. The bus stopped in front of a tall building. Twilight went into the building, and made it to the top floor. Heading to the observation deck, she climbed a flagpole to the top. All of that climbing at Camp Everfree payed off. She sees the ball coming, and used her Equestrian magic to levitate her glove. The glove caught the ball, and went back to her hand.

The Brute was following her to the observation deck. The umpire popped in with a call. "You're out!"

This meanie was surprised. "I'm out?!"

Across the bay, a large statue of a robe wearing woman suddenly spoke. "That's what the man said. You heard what he said. He said that. You..."

Twilight continues that thought. "That's what the man said. You heard what he said. He said that. That's what he said. He really said that. That's what he said."

THE END

Author's Note

Princess Twilight Sparkle trots in front of closed red curtains and used her magic to present a message. THE END An Allspark Animation Cartoon
TWILIGHT: And, that's the end.