Haven

by Admiral Producer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Moondancer, Slice of Life, Twinkleshine, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Alternate Universe, Lemon Hearts
Length: 13202

After being released from Broadhoof Memorial Psychiatric Hospital, Twilight Sparkle attempts to rebuild her life and friendships in Canterlot, but finds that regaining the trust of those she hurt might be harder than she initially imagined….

Unofficial sequel to “Sanctuary” by Kaidan.

After being released from Broadhoof Memorial Psychiatric Hospital, Twilight Sparkle attempts to rebuild her life and her friendships in Canterlot, but finds that regaining the trust of the ponies she hurt might be harder than she initially imagined….

A/N: Featured on Fimfiction’s List of Stories On The Homepage: January 19, 2024!! My first proper G4 story in over 3 years and my first story of 2024. Set in the ‘Asylumverse,’ this story is an alternate take on the “Amending Fences” episode and deals with the aftermath of Sanctuary. Reading for that story is REQUIRED in order to understand this one as I’m making it as a direct sequel. Chapter updates will be coming daily until the story is complete. Enjoy!

Published 2024-01-19 08:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-05 07:39:09 UTC

I. Prologue: Broken

Dear Journal,

They say that it can be hard to readjust to life once you’ve been gone from it for so long, and a return to normalcy can be near impossible. Well, it certainly feels that way for me. Shining Armor told me that it would be easy and that in less than a week, we could put the whole hospital thing behind us. But it turns out…life doesn’t always work that way. Ponies still look at me funny. I don’t know whether it’s the fact that what I did is well-known throughout Canterlot or something else entirely. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were…before everything got out of hoof. I just want to feel…normal again, like everypony else. It’s been a long recovery and I’ve caused enough trouble for everypony around me already. I just want to blend in and fit in with the crowd again, the way I was always meant to.

At this point though, it’s looking increasingly unlikely. We’re considering options, including moving to another town. But moving costs a lot and I’m not sure my BBBFF wants to be so far away from the police academy he’s still going to. We can’t have the taxi be driving him everyday after all, especially with rising costs.

If only I hadn’t deluded myself into thinking I was Princess Celestia’s personal student. Maybe this all wouldn’t’ve happened. Maybe…

“Twily?”

Twilight glanced up from her study table at the sound of her brother’s voice, her internal thoughts being disrupted in an instant due to being startled. She set her quill down and looked to her left. Sure enough, none other than Shining Armor was walking into her bedroom with a concerned expression on his face. He was carefully carrying a bowl of soup with his magic. She sighed with relief upon realizing that it was him and not somepony else.

She had to admit to being a little paranoid at who she came in contact with nowadays. Her experience at Broadhoof had barely done anything for her social skills except confuse her in regards to what was real and what wasn’t. It was hard to readjust to a life she hadn’t lived since she was a filly. The world had changed since she was away, and there were so many aspects that were considered normal now, as well as many customs that had developed among the ponies of Canterlot that she had no prior knowledge of. It was as if existence had passed her by, and she was a pony out of time. It didn’t help that she had gone through most of it thinking that she was a completely different pony, and the ramifications of what her young self had done still came at her in full force. Fate was unleashing its full wrath on her for the sins of her past, and she could do nothing to atone for them. She was a pony abandoned by the gods and left to rot in her eternal punishment.

She felt weighed down by the expectations that were placed on her. She had entered the hospital a filly and had emerged from it a fully-grown mare. She replayed in her mind all of the times that her teachers scolded her for any lack of understanding about a subject, even though it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know it. It wasn’t as if the classes at Broadhoof with Miss. Lunamoon were the best at catching her up with pre-algebra or anything that a pony her age should’ve known.

She forced herself to smile to make him feel better, even though she wasn’t in the best mood to do so. What could she tell him? That she was still dealing with the fallout of what she did as a filly? He didn’t deserve to hear more bad news. They were already going through a lot, and he deserved to hear any good news no matter what it was. He deserved better than the same old downtrodden attitude. He deserved better than her.

“Oh…hey, Shining,” she greeted him. “I’m okay.”

“You certainly don’t sound like it,” Shining Armor countered gently. “I know you’ve been up here a while and I just wanna let you know that dinner’s ready. Better eat if we want to visit Dad tomorrow.” He set the bowl on the table.

Twilight was surprised to hear this. “We’re visiting?”

“Yeah,” Shining answered. “You know he’s interested in hearing about your progress.” He smiled sadly. “Or…lack thereof, I should say.”

Twilight sighed heavily. He knew how she was feeling. She didn’t even have to say a word. He could already read the room and she couldn’t keep it a secret. The jig was up and she knew it. “You know the hardest thing about all this, Shining? It wasn’t the recovery. That was easy compared to this. But I don’t even fit in with my peers anymore. They’ve all grown up without me.”

Shining nodded in understanding. “It can be hard. Mom foresaw this exact situation happening when she and Dad talked about committing you following your first real episode…But all you can do is try to rebuild that life you had before. There’s no changing the past.”

“Why didn’t she stop him?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

“What?”

“Why wasn’t she able to stop him? I know I was sick, but…all of this could’ve been prevented, couldn’t it?”

“She tried. But he loved you too much to see you do this to yourself, so much in fact that he was willing to get that divorce to prove his point. You know Mom still blames herself for everything that’s happened. She’s never forgiven herself for going along with his plan.”

“I know that!” Twilight cried. “She’s told me that herself! That’s why I’ve tried. But I’m not a natural at making friends. Maybe in my delusions, I was. But not here. Not in this life. All I’ve ever known is books.” She buried her face in her hooves. “I just…don’t know what to do.”

Shining walked over and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “This has never been easy on any of us, Twily. But you have to keep trying. Don’t give up on yourself.”

“The world already has, Shining,” Twilight stated bitterly. “I can’t…fit in anywhere. Ponies in my class still look at me like I’m some sort of crazy pony. They still see that idiot foal with delusions of grandeur who thought she was the Princess’s personal protégé. I’ll never be normal for as long as I live…”

“Then don’t try and gain their approval.”

Twilight looked back at him. “What do you mean?”

“There will always be ponies who try and put you down,” Shining advised her. “Especially if they sense an outcast. If those ponies don’t want to be your friend, then stop approaching them. They’ve made their choices. The best thing you can do is try and find others who share your experiences or at least…can relate to what you’re going through.”

“How many ponies can you think of that attacked others, crippled their own brother, and got sentenced to an asylum for about several years?” she inquired.

Shining smiled sheepishly. “Well, now that you put it that way, it does sound quite far-fetched. But it’s not out of the question.” That was when he seemed to get an idea. “Hey. I think I have an idea. But you might not like it.”

Twilight felt instant dread upon hearing that last phrase. She didn’t know what her brother was thinking, but she already knew it probably wouldn’t be something she would take kindly to. “Oh. What…do you have in mind?”

“Remember those ponies you used to know in Magic Kindergarten?” Shining asked her. Seeing her perplexed expression, he sighed. “Right. You probably don’t remember the finer details aside from what I’ve told you already. You attacked those ponies and-“

“I think I remember,” Twilight interrupted him, the memories flooding back. “Those were the ponies who I told that I was Princess Celestia’s student to before I-you know. What were their names? I know one of them was called Moon Dancer.”

“You used to have her over at your house a lot borrowing books,” Shining reminded her. He smiled wistfully. “Ah, the good ‘ol days. You know, I was always a big proponent of you hanging out with her more considering the both of you were nerds.”

Twilight giggled. “I don’t doubt it.”

“See?” Shining said, smiling. “That’s the Twily I know. You just need to regain their trust. I want you to start hanging out with them again, begin rekindling that bond. If any ponies can give you solace during this difficult time, it’s your old friends.”

“But I hurt them!” Twilight was freaking out now. She remembered those ponies. They had once been the closest things to friends she ever had and she had pushed them away after her illness had gotten out of control. She could never imagine reconnecting with them. They were probably traumatized from that encounter. She couldn’t reopen that wound. “Shining Armor, please-“

“Twily,” he continued. “This will be good for you. I know they’d love to reconnect with you after everything. Even in spite of everything you did, they never stopped asking about you. All of them. And I think that you’ll feel better having them by your side again.”

“You think they’ll forgive me?” she asked worriedly. “Even after-“

“They will,” Shining reassured her. “Don’t worry. If they don’t, you can tell your BBBFF and I’ll give them an old school lesson in forgiveness.”

“Thanks.”

And I have a plan. If you want, you can opt out of visiting Dad tomorrow and I’ll tell Mom what we’re doing. She’ll understand.”

Twilight stared at him in shock. “Wait, you’d actually cover for me?”

“Only if you want to spare Dad yet another sob story about the average school day,” he confirmed, smirking. “You’re not legally obligated to do weekly visits and I think he’ll more so want to hear some good news for a change. Should you agree, I’m sure Mom would be fine with just she and I going.”

She nodded, smiling back at him. “Then I’ll do that. I’ll go to Minuette’s house right after school tomorrow. Thanks for doing this for me.”

“Hey, what wouldn’t I do for my little sister?” Shining teased her playfully. “Especially after just getting her back, I might add. I gotcha covered here.” He glanced at the now cold bowl of soup. “You better finish that. I think it’s cold.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide and her attention immediately snapped back to the bowl. “Uh oh, whoops!” She blushed. “My bad!” Wasting no time, she picked up her spoon using her magic and immediately began eating as fast as she could.

Shining chuckled. “Careful or you’ll get a stomach ache.”

She nodded quickly and he began walking towards the bedroom door. He didn’t want to disturb her dinner any longer and he had a plan to set in motion. He was willing to do anything if it meant making his little sister happy once again, no matter what it was. Losing her still weighed heavily on his mind, and he saw this as a chance to finally right a wrong and correct his biggest mistake.

Right as he was about to leave the room, however, he turned back to look at her one final time. He smiled sadly once more before that expression morphed into one of resolve. He would not let her down. If she was willing to do her part, he was willing to do his.

“We’ll figure this out, Twily. I promise.”

“Is there some reason why Twilight couldn’t come down and eat?” Twilight Velvet asked with a hint of concern in her voice. “It’s oddly quiet here.”

The two of them were sitting at the dining table alone. The time when dinner was eaten was usually the most talkative time of the night as Twilight would frequently start lengthy conversations on the new books she read, and they could always count on her to liven all of them up, even in their worst days. It had practically become a tradition before their lives had changed forever and they had slowly been getting back to that following the unicorn’s release from Broadhoof.

Now eating alone felt as isolating as it had been when Twi had been committed all those moons ago, and it brought back bad memories for both of them. Shining could sense the uneasy mood and was the first to break the silence.

“She insisted.” Shining answered. “Mom, I want to tell you that Twily wants to opt out of visiting Dad tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Velvet asked in surprise, clearly taken aback by this. “How come? She loves visiting him. Is there a reason why she refused this time?”

“I came up with the idea,” he answered. “I know times have been hard for her and I wanted to give her the opportunity to…reconcile with some old friends.”

“You mean Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, and Moon Dancer? I haven’t heard from those ponies in a good while. Last time they asked about her was about a year ago.”

“This will be good for her. She could use her old friends during this difficult period of readjustment. At least, I think she could.” Shining looked down at his plate of oats. “I can’t…I can’t be there to pick up the pieces from her bad days all the time. She needs more than us. Her old friends can help her.”

Velvet sighed deeply. “Shining, you know this whole experience…has broken our whole family apart. And I know none of this was ever truly her fault, but the last thing she needs is further reminders of her past. I know you’ve wanted this for her for years, but I think it might be too early to force socialization on her. Give it like a year or so.”

“But we’re out of time.” Shining insisted. “Twilight’s grown increasingly unhappy with her life. She’s not fitting in anywhere and she’s flunking her classes. Nopony said readjustment would be easy, but if we don’t intervene, she could try to hurt herself again and you know what that means.”

“Shining-“

“I already lost her once. I will not do so again under any circumstance.” Tears filled his eyes and he wiped them forcefully. “If I have to be the new father figure looking out for her, then that is what I’m going to do. She needs all the help she can get and I will be there for her this time. She’s going over to Minuette’s tomorrow.”

Velvet leaned back in her chair, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief moment before opening them again. She stared back at him with a stern expression in her eyes. “You better know what you’re doing.”

Shining nodded, staring back at her with equal intensity. “I do.”

Twilight stared out the bedroom window, gazing at the Mare in the Moon in the sky and the stars that twinkled around it. She knew that she was risking a lot putting herself out there, but she knew that it was the right thing to do. All she wanted to do was belong. And she was going to find a way to make it up to the ponies she hurt no matter what.

She may not have ever been the Princess’s student nor the Element of Magic, but her resolve still reflected a pony who had seen battle. She had been put through the wringer her whole life, and it was either she went all in on this last chance, or go home. She already knew the answer, for she was not a pony to quit. She would use the social skills she had developed in her delusions to see this done. She would not be alone anymore. She would make her family proud of her.

She was Twilight Sparkle. And she was going to reconnect with her old friends or die trying.

Author's Note

My first proper G4 story in over 3 years, let’s gooooooo!! And it’s the fic that will revive the Asylumverse no less. What a perfect way to start 2024. Let me tell y’all, this has been a long time coming. I kid you not when I say that this story has been in development hell since probably late 2021 to early 2022. I remember acquiring the rights to develop this story from Kaidan via PM years ago and it’s finally coming to fruition now. To anyone who is a fan of Asylum by Daimon of Decay or Sanctuary, this story is for you. For this story, I wanted to touch on the themes of lost identity, broken family, and restoring shattered friendships, which I think is the logical place to pick up the narrative post Chapter 6 of Kaiden’s story. I’m so excited to finally bring this baby to life. Updates will most likely be daily, but don’t quote me on that. I will be working as fast and efficiently as possible to see this story to completion, so stay tuned for more.

As always, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments below. Feedback is always appreciated and I shall see you guys very soon. Bye!

II. Minuette

School was uneventful as always. Twilight only remembered being pushed into a locker by Hulking Mass, one of the meanest bullies at the school. He had called her a societal reject and taunted her about fitting in, the same way he always did. She wasn’t really terrified by his presence anymore if she was being honest. It was routine at this point and his threats had become stale. If she wasn’t so focused on keeping her head attached to her neck that day and laying low, she would’ve told him to get some new material.

Her suffering finally ended though when the last bell of the day rang and class was dismissed. As soon as Mrs. Honey opened the classroom door, she wasted no time in making a beeline outside and headed in the direction of Minuette’s house, which wasn’t far from the school. It was a large purple house with multiple windows sporting an hourglass symbol on the front. She glanced at the map that Shining had given her and smiled with relief upon confirming that she was in the right place. The last thing she wanted was to get lost when she had an old friend to reconnect with.

She slowly walked up to the blue door in front of her, swallowing her nervousness. She had to do this. It didn’t matter whether she was forgiven or not. At least she could say that she tried her best and that it hadn’t worked out. She had to make an effort. If not for herself, then for her BBBFF. She knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

That was when the door creaked open and the curious head of a blue unicorn poked out from behind a corner, her face brightening upon seeing Twilight standing in front of her. Minuette had always been the excitable and bubbly type, and that certainty had not changed in the years since they had last seen each other.

“Twilight Sparkle!” Minuette exclaimed happily, stepping out of her house. “You old so-and-so! What are you doing here?! I mean, I know you're here all the time, but you never come to see me!”

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “I wanted to…see if we could maybe…hang out today? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I’d love to hang out with you!” Minuette assured her instantly. “I know we didn’t quite get along the best at first, but things are different now! You’ve changed. Plus, we’ve all been wanting to check up on you anyway. What better way than to spend the day out?”

“I guess,” replied Twilight nervously. “I guess I was worried you…wouldn’t want to talk to me after everything I did.”

Minuette waved her hoof dismissively. “Hey, don’t worry about it! We may not have always been the closest of friends, but now’s our time to change that!” She turned back in the direction of her house. “Come inside! Come inside. We can get Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine after we talk.”

Twilight nodded quickly. “Oh, um…alright.” She was happy that Minuette was being so welcoming, but at the same time, she could tell that she was hiding something. This interaction was so far too easy, and she knew it. There was no way that she simply forgot about all of the emotional and physical trauma she had endured on the night of the accident.

Nonetheless, she stepped inside of the home, closing the door behind her. She admired the simplistic decor of the living room. It was nothing fancy and the furniture was arranged in an ordinary fashion. But the way Minuette was describing it seemed like she thought her place was the fanciest home in Equestria, and she couldn’t help but be envious of how content the unicorn seemed to be with her life in contrast to the way she was feeling.

They sat on opposite sofas and talked about casual stuff for a little while, such as what subjects Twilight was studying and whether Minuette still wanted to get a degree in dentistry. But eventually, the talk shifted to why she was here and it was the moment she had been dreading all day.

“So…” Minuette asked her. “I am kinda curious. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…you’ve never really shown interest in us before, let alone little ‘ol me. I just wanna know what changed as you were never really the friendship type. Heck, Moon Dancer can attest to that.”

Twilight sighed. “I want to apologize, Minuette. I hurt you and the others so badly all those moons ago and…I’m hoping to make it up to you.”

“Twilight-“

“And I know you’re not telling the full truth about letting the past go. You don’t just forget something like that. You don’t just forget a horrible action like what I did. You can talk to me about it. I want to hear how you really feel.”

Minuette’s face fell. Her expression turned to one of sadness. “You really want to talk about that, huh? I’m sorry, I was trying to spare your feelings by not mentioning it.”

“Don’t,” Twilight said sternly. “I need to hear it. I was a sick and deluded filly back then who thought she was the personal student of Princess Celestia. You didn’t deserve any of this. You didn’t deserve to be yelled at and crippled for something that was a lie. I’m sorry, Minuette. I want to tell you that.”

Minuette absorbed what she was being told, nodding her head and her face seemed to reflect that of somepony who had so much pain being held up inside, but didn’t know how to let it out. Finally, she looked back at the unicorn opposite her and her expression softened.

“Twilight,” she said gently. “Would you believe me if I told you that I forgive you for that? I know it’s hard to believe, but…I don’t blame you.”

Twilight wiped a falling tear from her eye. “You don’t…?”

Minuette shook her head. “It was your illness. The constant episodes and everything you were saying…I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. My Dad actually gave me a lesson in OCPD following that night and…over the years, it became easier to forgive. You were suffering and none of this was ever really your fault. You weren’t in control.”

“I just wish I can take it all back…” Twilight replied sadly, sniffling. “I can never undo what I did, and it haunts me. Even as I’m trying to move forward. We could’ve all been best friends and I just ruined it…” She squeezed her eyes shut.

It was at that moment that Minuette stood up and walked up towards her, putting a comforting hoof around her shoulder. “Well I don’t see that sick filly anymore. I only see you now. The fact that you came here on your own accord in order to reach out to me tells me everything I need to know…”

Twilight opened her eyes again, looking back at her. “I don’t know if our friends will think the same. Especially Moon Dancer. She and I actually got along a little bit, so it might hurt more for her.”

“We’ll worry about her when the time comes,” Minuette told her kindly. “I just want you to know that I forgive you, and I’m sure Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine will too.”

“You think so?”

“I have no doubt.”

Twilight felt comforted by her presence and she smiled genuinely, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. It was a feeling of relief that she never thought that she would ever get to experience. Minuette actually forgave her and still wanted to be her friend, even when she initially thought it was impossible. Perhaps she could do this after all. She could make things up with the rest of them. Redemption was possible in her future.

Hmm. Keep telling yourself that. As far as I’m concerned, you haven’t atoned for anything. A familiar voice spoke inside her mind. Twilight froze upon hearing it. She never wanted to hear that cursed voice again. She never thought it would come back.

You! Twilight yelled. I thought I wouldn’t ever have to deal with you again. Leave me alone already. You already got what you wanted.

Have I? Oh I don’t think so. You still think you’re a pony worth saving, that you’re some kind of hero who could hoofwave away all your problems. Well, newsflash. You can’t. You’ll always be stuck in the same place for the rest of your life. Once a sick pony, always a sick pony.

That’s not true! protested Twilight. You know nothing about me. They’ll forgive me. I just know they will. If Minuette could-

She was always an airhead anyway. What does she know about mental illness?

Twilight’s temper instantly flared. You know nothing about her! How can you say that she doesn’t know anything?! You’re always trying to put me down for no reason! Well guess what? It’s not working, and it will never work.

We shall see, Twilight Sparkle. We shall see. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when reality comes crashing down on your little fantasy.

“Enough!!” Twilight snapped out loud. At the sound of her yelling, Minuette instantly released her hoof and jumped back in fear. She noticed her do this and instantly felt bad. Here she was about to hurt one of her friends again. She couldn’t do this. “I’m sorry! It was…just my imagination.”

Minuette nodded reluctantly, though it was obvious by her expression that she wasn’t fully convinced. Her body was still tense for about a moment before the doorbell rang and she ran over to open it. Upon swinging it open, she and Twilight were greeted with the sight of two familiar ponies.

The first was a white unicorn mare with a pink mane and tail and the second pony was a yellow unicorn with a blue mane and tail. Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts. They had heard that Twilight was in town and had come over to see her.

“Lemon Hearts! Twinkleshine!” Minuette greeted them. “You made it! I thought we would have to come over and get you guys!”

“We came as fast as we could upon you telling us that Twilight was here,” Twinkleshine answered. “Any sighting from the purple nerd is an all hooves on deck moment as I always say.”

Lemon Hearts giggled at that. “Same. I dropped everything. I arranged for us to all hang out at Donut Joe’s. Wanna come?”

Minuette gasped. “Would we?!” She grinned, glancing back at Twilight. “Come on, Twilight! We’re going to eat lunch together!”

Twilight overheard her name being called and snapped to attention, getting down from the sofa and heading towards the door. She didn’t know what was going to be in her future, but she knew that she couldn’t stop now. She had to apologize to the rest of her friends no matter what. Only then would she truly be able to atone for the sins of her past.

“Let’s do this.” she stated determinedly.

Author's Note

The story is back! And I’m going to finish it if it’s the last thing I do. Feel free to let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments below. Your feedback is always appreciated. See you guys soon!

III. Lemon Hearts & Twinkleshine

Sometimes the best thing to clear one’s mind was to have lunch with old friends. It was a time of relaxation. A time of healing. And a time to share your experiences with those closest to you. Twilight knew the meaning of that advice all too well. In both the real world and her Ponyville delusions, she knew exactly what it was like to get overwhelmed about something that she had no control over. It was a feeling she had a lot, and she never knew how to really express it.

Yet sitting with the ponies she once hurt now, all these years later, it felt…different. She felt like she could be open and that they understood her. She could air out her emotions and what she went through, and no one would judge her for it.

“…no way! That actually happened?!” Lemon Hearts asked in shock, nearly spitting out her coffee. “That must‘ve been some hallucination.”

Twilight grinned sheepishly. “Yeah. Apparently Doctor Applejack and Rarity had to get Nurse Ratchet’s complaint dismissed by the board. To this day, I’m not even sure what happened was even real. For all everypony else knew, I cured myself by having one of my episodes, which is apparently unheard of.”

“I can see why,” Twinkleshine replied, smiling. “It does sound pretty preposterous. You tell anypony that, they’re gonna think you’re crazy all over again!”

The four of them laughed over this and ate some more donuts. For Twilight, getting to unwind like this was exactly what she needed. She had been stressed all day due to being worried about whether these ponies would’ve even wanted to connect with her once more and here they all were, kicking back and laughing like not a day had passed. There were no hard feelings between them. They were all content to catch up and be around her.

It felt like a dream come true. For the longest time, she never imagined that she would ever get a second chance like this again. She thought she was doomed to be locked away forever. But here she was now, putting herself out there and making friends. And she didn’t need the Elements of Harmony to do it, nor Princess Celestia to do it. She was capable of doing this all on her own. She had the ability to do so the whole time, and she had never given herself credit for it. She had underestimated her own capabilities, and fate was now proving her wrong in the best way she could’ve imagined.

She wasn’t alone anymore.

“So what are you studying these days?” Minuette asked her. “You haven’t told us much about how things are going at your school.”

Twilight shrugged. “Eh, same old basic magic stuff. Nowhere near the level you guys seem to be on though. Mrs. Honey is apparently the new Arcane Theory teacher though. She was supposed to substitute for Ms. Daisy, but she got moved to another class last week, soooooo…I don’t know, class schedules are weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Twinkleshine answered. “Five professors left Magic School within the first week of the semester, resulting in Lemon Hearts and I getting switched around a lot. Barely enough time to get to know one instructor before you’re on to the next one. I know Princess Celestia is supposed to be the principal, but I’m going to be honest, she’s better at ruling than anything else.”

“That’s true,” Lemon Hearts agreed, giggling. “I can only imagine the look she would have if I told that to her straight to her face.”

“She’d probably throw you in a dungeon.” Minuette quipped.

“Or banish you!” Twinkleshine added, putting her hooves to her mouth in mock horror.

“Or banish you then throw you in a dungeon in the place she banished you to!” Twilight chimed in. She always had the most absurd scenarios cooked up in her head, whether intentionally or not, as she tended to let her imagination run wild a lot of the time. Plus, she remembered sharing that exact same list of scenarios with Fluttershy in one of her delusions. She marveled at the tendency of history to repeat itself in the most unexpected of ways.

They all laughed again and clinked their cups together in a toast to their friendship, which was now closer than ever now that she was back in it.

Later on, they walked down the main streets of Canterlot in the direction of the Tasty Treat, a relatively new restaurant that had opened up a year ago. It was a humble looking eatery with an Italian-looking architecture and was headed by a father and daughter named Corriander Cumon and Saffron Masala, both of whom were really good chefs. They took some exotic soup and headed on their way back in the direction of Minuette’s house.

All the while, Twilight took in the sights and remembered what it felt like to be in the comforts of ponies you knew. It may have been all made up in her head before and that was something she had come to terms with, but it was a valid practice that helped her be more social all the same. She had to give her illness credit for allowing her to come out of her she’ll much faster than it otherwise would have been.

“She did!” Minuette insisted, laughing along with Twinkleshine. “Lemon Hearts nearly spit out her oats when she found out you had gotten a promotion!”

“It wasn’t anything major,” Twinkleshine stated humbly. “I guess he just saw how hard I was working compared to the other ponies at the ranch. Not that I mind the extra labor of course. Gets me some exercise in the field.”

“How do you even walk that distance to Sweet Apple Acres?” Lemon Hearts asked. “You must get up really early in the morning.”

“Oh I take a taxi. It’s not that big of a drive, really. Driver’s pretty nice.”

Twilight watched them talk with one another and smiled. She felt like she was finally living the life she had always dreamt of. She didn’t know what she was even worried for in the first place at this point. Nothing could dent her good mood now. Or so she thought.

You miss that life, don’t you? The voice in her head piped up. Still can’t escape the shadows of your past, even in spite of “healing.” You know, you really fooled the doctors with that stunt of yours, but you haven’t fooled me.

I said leave me alone. Twilight answered mentally. What is your problem?! Do you want me to recover from this or not?!

The voice chuckled. So we’re playing victim, I see. Well, Twilight. I do want you to recover. I’m you. If you don’t recover, I don’t. But I want you to be honest with yourself. You’re not cured. Nopony cures themselves during a psychotic episode. You’re still sick. And soon the signs will show when you least expect it. You really think you can live in denial forever?

I-

You’re acting all high and mighty, my dear, thinking you can heal yourself. Well, you can’t stop what’s inevitably going to happen. Being around those ponies is reactivating those repressed memories, and you know what happens when unresolved trauma isn’t dealt with, do you?

Twilight froze.

“…and that was how I got promoted to Royal Advisor!” Lemon Hearts finished cheerily. “It was for a day only, but man was that so cool! I even got to see what was inside the Canterlot basement! It contains-“

Minuette and Twinkleshine leaned in closer, their eyes sparkling with interest. If only Twilight could share in their enthusiasm. She was having a crisis within her own mind, and she didn’t know how to get rid of it. Even as she tried to deny it, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the voice was right. She was right with the ponies she had once crippled during that fateful night, and it was a very real risk that it could happen again.

She didn’t want to hurt them again. She was just getting reconnected with them. If she really was as sick as the her other self claimed, what was she doing free? She was still hearing voices in her head, still dealing with the burden of repressed memories, and she had no form of therapy to combat it.

“Twilight?”

You remember, don’t you? You looked down…saw the fear in their eyes?

No…

“Twilight?”

You remember what happened to Moon Dancer, don’t you? Poor mare received the worst of your attack. What happened to her? Didn’t she get paralyzed and the doctors had to amputate one of her-

Stop!

“TWILIGHT!!!”

Twilight snapped back to attention just in time to see all three ponies staring back at her with concerned looks on their faces. She was trembling all over in fear and she couldn’t hide it. The memories were coming to the surface more and more the longer she was around them. This wasn’t worth it. She was hurting them just by being here.

“Are you okay?” Minuette asked her, concerned. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Is everything alright?”

Twilight swallowed her nervousness. “N-never better. L-let’s just keep walking. Where did you say we were going to go next?”

“Well, we were actually thinking of heading to Moon Dancer’s,” Lemon Hearts explained. “It’s actually not too far from where we are, just down the street.”

Now you will listen to me. Once you see her, you will stop denying the full extent of your actions-

“Um, actually!” Twilight cut in, a little too loudly. “Why don’t…we go to the Canterlot Library instead? I wanted to…check out a book for her first! She likes to study Haycartes’s Method from what I remember. I know she’ll just LOVE a good surprise!”

Dammit.

Checkmate, evil me!

“We could…just take her to the library ourselves,” Twinkleshine suggested, tilting her head slightly out of confusion. “We can all get the book together. It’s not like we’re planning a party or something.”

“Trust me,” Twilight insisted. “It’s a VERY good idea! So good that it goes far beyond the meaning of good! She’ll thank us! What better way to tell her we want to reconnect with her than to get her a book? Books are awesome!” She grinned and her smile got wider with each passing second. She was hiding something, and her friends could obviously tell.

Twinkleshine definitely looked disturbed at this point, but she chose to leave it at that once she saw that Twilight was beginning to sweat bullets. “Ooooooookay. Library it is then. I don’t know why you’re acting so weird, but I’m not going to press.”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief once the others started on their way again. Only Minuette stayed behind momentarily to talk with her once they were out of earshot.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Minuette inquired skeptically, slowly walking up in front of her. “You’re acting off again.”

“Please don’t ask…” Twilight replied softly. “I’d rather not talk about it…”

“I think I know what it is. You’re worried about seeing Moon Dancer after what you did back then, huh?”

Reluctantly, Twilight nodded. “Wouldn’t you…if you know you ruined somepony’s life beyond repair? I mean, The injuries she suffered from me were just…”

“I know,” Minuette replied solemnly. “She did have a hard time forgiving you after that and we eventually all lost touch with her. This will be our first time reaching out to her after so many moons.”

Twilight looked down in shame.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that!” The blue unicorn corrected herself quickly. “I’m sure-“ She took a deep breath and put a comforting hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Everything is going to be fine. You’ll see. We’ll have the gang back together in no time!”

With that, they continued on and Twilight could feel the pit in her stomach growing with each minute that passed. Try as she might, she couldn’t escape the reality that had befallen on her. She was going to see Moon Dancer eventually, and she would have to atone for her sins whether she wanted to or not.

After all, the only way to truly move on was to face her past and confront it.

IV. Moon Dancer

Moon Dancer’s house was the last place Twilight wanted to be.

Given the choice, she would have chosen the most boring library in existence with virtually no books in sight over this, but she had no choice. She knew it was the eight thing to do. She had to make it up to the unicorn no matter what it took. She had to apologize for everything that had happened. The only way she could finally bury her past for good is if she corrected the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life, even though she knew it wasn’t entirely her fault.

The state of the house did not fill her with confidence whatsoever. The rock fence was overgrown with moss and falling apart at the seams, to the point where even touching it would cause a piece of it to collapse. The garden hadn’t been tended to in a very long time. Weeds were everywhere, and a dead tree stood off to the right, sporting thick branches that once contained leaves. The roof of the house was beginning to cave in, and become covered with green. Moon Dancer had really let her place go, that much was apparent. Everything set off alarm bells in her head that clanged to the tune of: “mission abort! Mission abort! Do not proceed!” over and over. The sight was so bad that Twilight didn’t even know whether Moon Dancer was still living in that house.

Then it hit her. She was crippled. She had been hurt so badly that she could barely even walk. The details of the incident were still fuzzy, but bits and pieces were starting to come back the longer she was at this place. Somehow, she knew that the house wasn’t always like this…and it was all her fault.

“I caused this…” Twilight whispered.

Even Minuette looked disturbed. “Yeeeeah. We haven’t been over here in ages, but Moon Dancer really let this place go. I don’t blame her though. Having to utilize a prosthetic hoof is something that doesn’t come naturally to most ponies. She probably can’t even tend to her garden anymore.”

“P-prosthetic?”

“You didn’t hear about the aftermath?” Twinkleshine asked. “The surgery?” Then she realized. “Oh yeah, the authorities picked you up very quick. You really have been at Broadhoof for a while, huh?”

“For most of my formative years, yeah.” replied Twilight blankly.

“We’ve seen some pictures she sent us,” Lemon Hearts said. “But it’s probably not best to show you…she has gotten better with time, but…try not to freak out, okay?”

Twilight nodded silently. She didn’t see how this could get any worse. But she was about to be in for a rude awakening. Wasting no time, Lemon Hearts walked up to the rustic door that had a crescent shaped symbol on the top and knocked on it. There was a brief period of silence for about a few minutes. Every moment that passed, Twilight could feel the air growing colder around her as brief flashes from her subconscious passed through her mind.

An out of control unicorn filly…

Delusions of grandeur…

Attacking several innocent fillies by this very house…

“I am the Princess’s personal student!” the wannabe young protégé proclaimed. “And SHE NEEDS ME NOW!!!!!!”

Twilight squeezed her eyes shut to block out the memories, only opening them again once she heard the sound of a very old door opening. Swallowing her apprehension, she took a couple steps forward and was horrified at the sight of the mare before her.

In the place of the proud unicorn mage she expected to see was a pony she couldn’t initially tell was a unicorn at first. Her horn was completely severed, leaving only the stump behind. Her right eye was completely scarred, meaning she could only see out of her left. There was a prosthetic hoof where organic matter used to be, and her body was covered in burns and dry cuts. An entire side of her face looked misshapen, like it had been surgically repaired after a massive accident. There was no denying who this mare was.

It was Moon Dancer.

“What do you want?!” she demanded, getting in Lemon Hearts’s face and forcing the mare to retreat back. “I’m TRYING to study!!”

“We’re…” Minuette took a shaky breath. “We’re h-here to see you, Moon Dancer…we wanted to see how you’re doing.”

This seemed to satisfy her. The anger present in Moon Dancer’s eyes simmered a bit, but hints of skepticism still remained in spite of that. “Fine, I guess. Midterms are coming up. Though I don’t suppose you got a copy of Starswirl the Bearded’s Guide To Arcane Theory for me to borrow, do you?”

“Actually, we do!” Twinkleshine’s horn glowed blue and she fished a thick blue tome out of her saddlebag and gave it to her. “Limited edition. We got it at the library right before we came here.”

“Thanks.”

The moment Twinkleshine took a few awkward steps to the right, however, Moon Dancer’s expression changed. It morphed from calm suspicion to blazing anger the moment she locked eyes with Twilight. It was a look of betrayal, a look of fury brought upon by lingering trauma coming to the surface and exploding all at once. In that moment, the conversation was over and all attempts at small talk went out the window.

“Why is she here?!” the crippled unicorn asked angrily, her tone containing hints of fear in it as well.

“Moon Dancer, we can explain-“ Lemon Hearts began to say.

“YOU BROUGHT HER HERE?!” Moon Dancer interrupted in an accusing tone, her rage barely contained underneath it. “GET THAT FREAK AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW!!! HOW DID SHE-“

“She was let out of Broadhoof not too long ago…” Minuette said cautiously. “And…she wanted to make things right with you.”

“To Tartarus she does!!” yelled Moon Dancer, taking a threatening step forward and wincing as she did so. “She just wants to hurt me again!! The nerve you ponies have to bring her back here after what she did to me, to us!!” She looked back at Twilight. “You!! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME, MS. PROTÉGÉ!!! You think I’ve FORGOTTEN about you?!”

“N-n-no!” Twilight stammered. “Moon Dancer, please-“

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” Moon Dancer screamed, limping out of the house on her prosthetic hoof. She may still have been in pain, but she still wanted vengeance for everything. “HAVEN’T I ALREADY BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH PAIN WITH YOU?!” Tears of anger sprang to her eyes and she blinked them back hurriedly. “DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH, YOU APATHETIC, DERANGED PSYCHOPATH?!!”

“Moon Dancer-“

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!”

Twilight was paralyzed with fear, unable to move from where she was. But she knew one thing. Moon Dancer wanted to kill her, and she was ready to do so at any moment. She didn’t care about the repercussions. All she wanted to do was destroy the one pony who had put her through so much pain and suffering. Her eyes were filled with a fiery thirst for vengeance. Her horn was crackling with magic barely contained. If she let it loose, she could blow up the whole city.

“Moon Dancer, wait!!” Minuette cut in, jumping in front of her right on time. “I know we’ve had bad history together, but she’s changed! She’s cured now! If you could give her a chance-“

“GIVE HER A CHANCE?!! WE GAVE HER A CHANCE, MINUETTE!!! AND SHE HURT ALL OF US!!! SHE’LL DO IT AGAIN!!!”

“That’s not true! You don’t know-“

“No…” Twilight interrupted, cutting her off. She shook her head sadly. She couldn’t do this. It was all too much, and all she was doing was making the situation worse with her presence. “I caused this. I did this to you, Moon Dancer. And I’m sorry for coming here.”

Moon Dancer was caught off guard by her answer. “Twilight-“

But it was too late. Twilight took off as fast as she could down the next block. She didn’t know where she was going. But she knew it couldn’t be here.

Moon Dancer’s House
Dining Room…

“Do you think she’ll come back?” Minuette asked worriedly, taking a bite of one of the fresh made oats Moon Dancer had made for her. They were all sitting at the dining room table after Twilight had run off, letting their emotions calm down before taking any course of action.

“I hope so…” Twinkleshine replied. She sighed. “This isn’t right. One of us should’ve gone after her. She’s probably having another horrible experience right now.”

“She needs to be alone,” Lemon Hearts countered. “No point in making an already bad situation worse by rubbing it in. If we’re to find her at all, there has to be some form of resolution we can cheer her up with.”

Moon Dancer walked over and gave them each glasses of water to drink. “Here you girls go. I know it’s been hot today, so…it’s the least I can do.”

“Thanks.”

She took her own seat on the opposite side of the table. “I just still find it very hard to believe that Twilight…cured herself. You don’t do that. In all my research of mental illnesses, that just…doesn’t happen. It’s an anomaly.”

“But Twilight did,” Minuette insisted. “When she came to my house, she…genuinely wanted to make things right. I guess I’m more trusting of her because I want to believe all that time locked away cured her. Wouldn’t you…?”

“I have a hard time believing it,” Moon Dancer admitted. “The way I see things…ponies don’t change. They never do. You can try to change them all you want, but…it just doesn’t happen, especially for something as complex as OCPD. Do you know how many ponies would die for a cure to that illness, yet Twilight just does? By having a delusion no less?”

“You don’t trust her, do you?” Lemon Hearts assumed.

“Well can you blame me?” asked Moon Dancer. “Lemon Hearts, she hurt us. If you received it as bad as I did, you’d understand why I feel this way. I really thought my life was over for a good 10 years. It was only because of my sister did I have any hope for my future after losing one of my hooves. She pushed me to…” She took a shaky breath. “…to never give up on myself…”

“None of us are trying to invalidate your feelings in any way,” Twinkleshine added. “It’s just-“

“You want me to put my trust in the pony who hurt me the most.”

“No!” Minuette cried. Then she corrected herself upon receiving a glare. “I mean, yes, but can’t you see that she’s changed? She’s making amends of her free will, and she really wants to make things better. Isn’t there room to…give her another chance? If not now, then…letting her prove it to you?”

Moon Dancer looked down. “I don’t know. After all the suffering she put me through…I don’t trust her. And I think you shouldn’t either.”

“Well somepony has to.” Minuette said, putting a firm hoof on the table.

“Why?”

“Because…” she answered point-blankly. “If I don’t initiate that connection and tell her that she’s right to make a conscious effort…then…who will…?”

The four of them sat in silence, unable to answer the question themselves.

Twilight ran as fast as she could through the streets of Canterlot. Her hooves made clip clop noises on the ground as she bumped past other ponies in a mad dash to get as far away from the sight of her greatest mistake as she could. She had no concept of direction, no thought as to where her hooves would take her. All she wanted was to find some place to die. This was a mistake. What was she thinking?! It was hopeless. She had involved herself in a situation that had no clear solution, and she had no clue of how she was going to find one.

Eventually, she found an abandoned alleyway located just a couple blocks away and collapsed, allowing the darkness to swallow her whole.

V. Twilight Sparkle

“Let me in!!”

“Twilight, you’ve never even been in this school.“

“Yes I have!! I’m Princess Celestia’s prized student!! SHE TOLD ME THAT I BELONG HERE!!!!”

“Twilight, you’re going crazy. This isn’t like you.”

…

“The Summer Sun Celebration was destiny!! I was born to study under her!! I will become the most powerful unicorn in Equestria!!”

“Twilight, you will not go back to that school. And that is final.”

“But momma-“

“Do you understand me, young mare?!”

“Yes…”

…

“Your sister’s getting worse, Shining. I don’t know how much longer we can tolerate this. She’s practically visiting that school every day. What if she hurts somepony?”

“It’ll be fine, Mom. I know Twily. She would never hurt anypony. It’s probably just another phase. She’ll grow out of it.”

“If you’re sure…”

…

“YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MY DESTINY!!!!!”

“Twilight, no!!”

“Twilight!!”

“I AM THE ELEMENT OF MAGIC!!! I WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE WITH PRINCESS CELESTIA!! AND I WILL SHOW YOU PONIES HOW POWERFUL I REALLY AM!!!!”

“NOOOOO!!!!”

“MOON DANCER, NO!!”

“GET AWAY FROM HE-AGHHHHHH!!!!!”

“MOON DANCER!!!!!”

“Minuette, get Mrs. Honey!! Hurry-“

“NO!!”

“YOU’RE EVIL!!!! YOU’RE TRYING TO CONTROL MEEEE!!!!!!!!”

“No!!”

“STOP!!!!”

…

“Freeze!!!! Come out with your hooves up!!”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!”

“Get Moon Dancer to an ambulance now!! She’s losing blood fast!!”

“Oh my Celestia…her entire right hoof has been fractured…”

“You’re under ARREST!!!”

“Let me GO!!!!!”

“RESISTING!!!”

…

“Captain, we need the prognosis.”

“…Captain…?”

“Twily…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

…

“Mrs. Sparkle, I’m sorry,” Doctor Rose said in a somber voice, dropping the files onto his desk. “But we cannot bring ourselves to release your daughter. After conducting a thorough mental evaluation, we’ve determined the source of her attack to be grandiose delusions, compounded by a rare form of obsessive, compulsive personality disorder.”

“Surely there’s something else you can do,” Twilight Velvet begged, stroking young Twilight’s blue and pink mane. The filly was sitting on her mother’s lap, eyes red from crying. She was in a green hospital gown with a grey sheath around her horn. They called it a horn limiter. “There’s no programs? Anything?”

Doctor Rose shook his head. “Her release was conditional on the evaluation, and we believe our resources are far better suited to treat her than those horrible social programs.” He sighed deeply. “They haven’t cured a single patient in the hundreds of years since their establishment. And we’d be damned if we threw a filly into prison. This is the only way…”

Tears filled Velvet’s eyes and she hugged her daughter tightly, knowing this likely would be the last time she would ever see her again. Twilight began to cry as well. There was no other way. She had done this. She had crippled several ponies, and her own brother. She couldn’t be trusted.

“I won’t let you go…I won’t…” Velvet repeated over and over, shaking with grief. “I won’t…I won’t…”

Twilight remembered it. She remembered it all. Once she had seen Moon Dancer again, the memories that she had been trying to repress came flooding back to the surface. This time, she had no way to deny it. No way to bury her feelings under a mountain of false stories delusions of grandeur. She was a monster, and she would always be one. She could not change. She could not make things up with the one pony she hurt the most, no matter how hard she tried.

She could still hear the screams, the cries, the roar of magic from her horn as she tore into Moon Dancer’s skull. The cracking of bones and the blood spilled from the fractured hoof. It had happened so many years ago, yet seemed so fresh at the same time. Her head was still pounding as she sat up from the ground, the place she had been content to die on just an hour ago.

She looked around to see where she had run to. It was an abandoned alleyway somewhere in the city. She didn’t know where, but it wasn’t that far from where Moon Dancer’s house was. The Sun was setting over the horizon. Sooner or later, she would have to go home and report her failure to Shining Armor, tell her BBBFF that she had failed and that she would never have friends again. She would never be a normal pony. That time was long gone, and she could never make up for something that would never come again.

All she wanted to do was sit it out and hope her friends would never find her. She wanted nothing more than to say that trying to make amends for the past was a terrible idea, and she should have never agreed to it. It was foolish. What chance did she even have anyway? She was just a freak, nothing more, nothing less.

She didn’t deserve to live.

Now you see the full ramifications of your actions, don’t you? The voice in her head taunted her. You had every pony fooled into thinking you were cured. But one simply does not cure themselves by ignoring their past, do they?

You were right… Twilight thought back, hanging her head low in despair. I couldn’t do this. I hurt Moon Dancer. I’m the reason why she’s like this.

Bingo.

And now you’re going to rub this in my face, aren’t you?

Why would I do that? I only wanted you to own up to everything. You can’t just ask for somepony’s forgiveness after hurting them this badly. Minuette, bless her soul, seems to do it easily. But there’s time and work involved when you do this. As long as you call me evil, as long as you continue to think you can easily resolve your conflicts with just a simple speech about how much you’ve changed, you will continue to be sick.

Well, if you think you know so much, Twilight challenged herself. Tell me what your solution is. What’s your cure?

Own it, Twilight. Face Moon Dancer. Tell her you messed up, but that you don’t expect her forgiveness, nor do you demand it.

Then how does that-

The first step towards deserving something is admitting you don’t deserve that thing.

Oh.

“Twilight?!”

Twilight looked up, her eyes still filled with tears. Her thoughts were interrupted in an instant and she locked eyes with a concerned Minuette, who was running as fast as she could towards her. She skidded to a halt in front of her, exhaling a sigh of relief.

“Minuette…” Twilight realized with a choked sob. She wiped an escaping tear that was streaming down her cheek with her hoof. “I messed up so bad…” She sniffled.

“No,” Minuette replied quickly, shaking her head. “No. No. Don’t even think that. You didn’t say anything wrong. Moon Dancer just…she can’t get over what happened all those years ago, and I don’t blame her. It was awful, but…you were sick, and no one can blame you for that.”

“It sure seems like they can.”

Minuette walked over slowly and sat down next to her. “Do you know why I forgave you so easily? Why all three of us did?”

“Because you didn’t receive the worst of it.” Twilight deduced. “Especially you. You went to go find help, whereas the others were…” She trailed off.

Minuette nodded. “True, but like I said before…I saw in you a genuine desire to be better. You came to my house on your own free will and owned up to everything without a second thought. You knew you did something horrible, but you didn’t let that stop you. You didn’t let that deter you from facing your fears, no matter how much they weighed down on you.”

“Minuette-“

“When I look at you,” she finished. “Twilight Sparkle…I don’t see the sick filly with delusions of grandeur. I see a reformed mare who has had time to reflect and heal. You’ve changed, Twilight. You really have. And Moon Dancer sees that too. It’s just that her lingering trauma prevents her from truly believing it. She’s had so much time to think of the best way to get back at you that she never expected that…you would be the one to try and approach her.”

“It’s too late,” Twilight answered glumly. “She still hates me. And so should you, by the way.”

“Why?”

“Because what’s stopping me from doing it again?!” Twilight snapped, throwing her hooves up into the air. “What’s stopping me from…contracting that disease again mysteriously and going on a rampage?! What if I’m not even cured, but only believe myself to be?!” She shuddered. “What if I truly can’t move on from everything…?”

Minuette took a deep breath. “You’re trapped by your mind. You’ve spent so long blaming yourself for what your disease compelled you to do that you don’t know how to let go. The truth is…it isn’t easy. I spent a long time trying to reconcile what you did too. But eventually I realized…you…weren’t to blame for being sick. It wasn’t you. It was the disorder. And…realizing that made me sympathize with you a lot more. I wanted to say I forgave you, but I’m sure you know how tight communication with the outside world at Broadhoof is.”

Twilight nodded.

“The point is…” Minuette told her, eyes glistening with tears. “You need to believe that you’ve changed. It can’t just be me. You can’t…keep seeing yourself as the sick pony. Otherwise…you’ll never be cured.”

…As long as you continue to think you can easily resolve your conflicts with just a simple speech about how much you’ve changed, you will continue to be sick.

“But I just have so much baggage with Moon Dancer…” Twilight said sadly. “I know I have to face her again, but…would she even accept my apology…?”

Minuette smiled. “I’m sure she wouldn’t accept it any less than the way I did. You just gotta find the right way to approach it. Don’t ask for forgiveness. Just say you’re sorry and…give her time. Sometimes, ponies need time to forgive. But you’re not wrong for reaching out regardless.”

The first step towards deserving something is admitting you don’t deserve that thing.

It was at that moment that Twilight realized something. All of this advice that Minuette was giving her…was advice that she already knew. The voice in her head wasn’t an alter ego or an evil shadow. It was her conscience parroting everything she already knew back at her. Because of her Ponyville delusions, she had more than several years worth of friendship lessons up her belt that she had made up within her own mind. She knew what it was like to be a good friend. The voice was the repressed half of her, the fake Twilight that existed only within her mind. The Element of Magic, and savior of Equestria. It was begging to be acknowledged. She couldn’t deny that part of her anymore. It was just as much a part of her now as her real life was.

Perhaps the key to finally curing herself for good wasn’t just letting go of the past and her false life…but embracing and making peace with it, while also moving forward with her real life. The path towards self-healing involved acknowledging your mistakes as a part of you, and using it to better yourself in the process. Whether she liked it or not, Twilight was still sick; not from any sort of disease or mental illness anymore, but from her own mental and emotional baggage.

And the only way to cure herself was to finally complete her mission.

“Hey…are you ready to join us again?” Minuette asked her hopefully.

Twilight stood up, getting to her hooves and taking a deep breath. “Yeah. I think I know what to say. But we’re gonna need to do it fast before Mom and Shining Armor get home.”

The door to Moon Dancer’s house slammed open. The other ponies turned at once, startled, only relaxing once they saw Twilight and Minuette on the other side of it, panting from exhaustion. They looked like they had run a long time, even though it had only been a couple blocks.

“There you two are!” all three ponies exclaimed. Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine washed no time in running towards them and hugging them both, only letting go after a few minutes. Tears of happiness streamed down their faces and they sobbed as they expressed their gratitude that their friends were alive and well.

“We were so worried!!” Twinkleshine added, checking Twilight all over from head to hoof. “We thought you left Canterlot or something!”

“Or worse! Gone back to Broadhoof!” Lemon Hearts exclaimed in a panic. “Don’t ever do that again, okay?! We just got you back!”

Twilight watched them all go nuts over her silently, taking in their concern and their fear. They were genuinely worried about her. They cared for her. They considered her a friend. In spite of everything she had done, they had no problem accepting her as one of them again. Even Moon Dancer looked relieved, standing near the doorway and giving a small smile of her own. Despite her negative feelings towards Twilight, she was concerned for her safety as well, and didn’t want her to be hurt.

“Don’t worry,” Minuette assured them, giving a reassuring smile. “We’re okay. Twilight wasn’t far. She just ran towards an alleyway. We’re here now.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Moon Dancer replied grimly, her smile evaporating and being replaced by an angry scowl. “You had us worried sick, Twilight. First you randomly show up to my house with zero explanation after years of being locked away in a loony bin to do I don’t know what, and then you run away for several hours, forcing one of us to come look for you?! What the hay is your problem?!”

Twilight sighed deeply. This was the moment that this whole day had been building towards, and she could not mess it up. She took a step forward, her heart racing as she finally faced the pony she had multilated and maimed many years ago. Moon Dancer was the embodiment of her past, her mistakes, her greatest fears. And now she was finally facing them with her true friends by her side.

She was taking the leap.

“Moon Dancer…” Twilight stated solemnly. “I hurt you. I’m the reason why you’re crippled, got your hoof amputated, everything. I remember it all, and I know you do too. I did all this and you didn’t do a thing to me except try to be my friend. I was so caught up in my delusional thinking, so lost in my own illness that…I lost control of myself. And I did something to you that can never be reversed, never be forgotten. You have every right to be mad at me.”

Moon Dancer blinked twice in surprise, seemingly never expecting an apology like this. Her stern expression was still there, but it was beginning to melt slowly. She was listening. Encouraged by this nonverbal response, Twilight continued.

“For the longest time,” she continued, tears appearing at the corners of her eyes. “My greatest fear was…facing you, owning up to what I did as a filly and telling you…I’m sorry…I was awful to you and you never deserved this. I don’t think I deserve your forgiveness, nor do I think you would believe it if I just said I changed.”

Moon Dancer’s anger had completely evaporated at this point and in the place of her stern and tough demeanor was the face of the awkward and introverted unicorn she used to know, genuinely listening and hearing her old friend out after a day gone wrong.

“Rather,” Twilight finished sincerely. “I want to do whatever it takes to prove…that I’m not that sick filly anymore. No matter what it takes to one day earn your trust back, I’m willing to put in the work, and…perhaps start over with you. I know it will take time, but that’s okay. Take all the time you need.”

It was at that point that Moon Dancer couldn’t keep it in anymore. She broke down in tears and rushed into Twilight’s hooves, sobbing relentlessly. The years of heartache and pain were finally coming to the surface and bursting out of the crippled unicorn in a grand display of vulnerability. She had kept all of her emotions to herself for so long, and now the pony who had once hurt her was coming forward with a genuine attempt to make amends. She didn’t know how to feel. Twilight consoled her, telling her to let it out. Minuette then joined in the hug, followed by Twinkleshine, and finally Lemon Hearts.

The five of them were gathered together in a circle, each sharing in the intimate moment. They didn’t want it to end. It was emotional catharsis for all of them. After years of being separated and apart, their fillyhood friendship once broken by betrayal, they were finally back together again and comforting one another.

At long last, Twilight felt the weight of the past finally lift off of her shoulders. She felt all of her guilt wash away like a grand tidal wave crashing on the beach. She was finally free, unbound by regret. She could feel herself smile again as the realization finally set in. She had done it. She had faced her past mistakes and banished it. She was no longer sick.

She was cured.

And so it appears you have finally learned to let go. The voice conceded. No thanks to me, of course. We’re square, Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps there is hope for you yet.

Perhaps there is.

It was a feeling of confidence Twilight had not felt in a long time. But at last, she had conquered every aspect of herself once more and cured each part. She was whole again. She had been through a massive ordeal over the course of a single day, but she wouldn’t change one thing about it. She had friends. She had family. She had love.

And her future was looking as bright as the divine light of Celestia’s Sun.

Author's Note

Man was this an emotional chapter to write. It’s all been building to this climax, where Twilight finally faces her past and apologizes to Moon Dancer. And I even gave a concrete answer as to who ‘the voice’ is too. Figured I might as well solve the biggest mystery in the whole Asylumverse canon. As always, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments below. Only one chapter left coming Wednesday, and that’s the Epilogue. Stay tuned!

VI. Epilogue: Healing

Twilight hung the portrait of she and her friends together on her bedroom wall, feeling more at peace with herself than she had ever felt in her whole life. It had certainly been quite the eventful day, and she could not wait to go to sleep after everything that had happened. She was exhausted after arriving home, quickly realized that her mother and Shining Armor hadn’t arrived yet. They weren’t due to come back for another hour, judging by how long they typically stayed at her Dad’s house, and she would be long asleep by the time they did so.

She didn’t mind though. Being by herself gave her the time and space to reflect on her entire journey. Even though it was tumultuous, she knew one thing could not be denied. She had done it. She had done the impossible. She finally stood up to her past and conquered it — getting her friends back and apologizing to the pony she had hurt the most — all over the course of a single day. It was a feat that she knew no one would believe her on unless they had been through what she had. For her, the picture was all the proof she needed. She didn’t have to do anything grand or save Equestria from an evil monster of the week. She had made friends without needing to do any of it. All she needed to do was step out of her comfort zone and stick it out until the end.

That personal victory alone was more powerful than anything her delusions could conjure up in an entire lifetime.

As she made her bed and prepared to climb into the covers, her ears perked up at the sound of a door opening downstairs. That could only mean one thing. Her BBBFF was home, and she could tell him the news after all. Would he even believe her if she explained what happened? Probably not, but it was worth a try. She heard the sound excited hoofsteps echo throughout the hallway, and turned around just in time to see the door to her room slam open.

“Twily!” Shining Armor exclaimed, sporting an elated grin on his face. “Oh thank goodness you’re still awake. I begged Mom to take me home early just so I can see you!”

Twilight giggled. “I’m here, don’t worry. You know I always stay up to see you come home from work.”

Shining Armor gave her a playful smirk. “Don’t ever let Mom hear you say that. She’ll skin me alive for being the reason you’re not getting 8 hours.” The smirk then faded, giving way to an expression of genuine curiosity. “So…how was your day? Did everything work out?”

Twilight glanced back at the photo showing all of her friends gathered together in one giant circle in Moon Dancer’s living room, smiling for the camera. Their first night together as a group once more was one she would never forget. The photo spoke for itself. It would forever be a bright light on the wall, shining through the darkness, and reminding her that she wasn’t broken. And she wasn’t alone. She owed everything to her big brother for pushing her to do this to begin with, and perhaps one day…she would find the best way to tell him everything.

For now, she turned back towards her brother…and smiled. It was one of her first genuine smiles in so many years, and it was a sign of a pony who was now truly healed, both inside and out. Her smile grew wider as she faced him, so many unspoken words packed into one indirect show of gratitude.

“Yeah…” she said at last, feeling the weight from several years of isolation and lies slowly melt away to reveal the beautiful truth underneath. She was home…and she was loved. “It definitely did.”

With that, the two siblings walked up towards the bedroom window and looked out at the beautiful canvas of stars before them, protected by the Moon in the center. Each star above contained a hidden meaning within it; it was a promise for greater things to come, and a bright future that had yet to be revealed.

And Twilight Sparkle was ready for all of it.

Author's Note

And so the Asylum trilogy officially comes to an end. And yes, I did mean trilogy. The way I see it, Daemon of Decay’s Asylum, Kaiden’s Sanctuary, and my Haven all tell one complete story of healing across three entries. It’s really the journey of one mare, that being Twilight Sparkle, as she slowly recovers from her mental illness and learns to accept herself for who she is; not the Element of Magic, not the savior of Equestria, but just Twilight Sparkle. Asylum (even though it was sadly never finished) was all about her being rudely awoken to the truth of Broadhoof and her real life, Sanctuary was about her curing herself physically by rejecting the delusions once and for all and “sending them home,” and Haven was all about the final step of recovery, the conquering of the mind. Twilight started out in my story more unsure of herself than ever after being released from Broadhoof, and ended it having finally taken the leap of faith and making amends with her past, that being personified in Moon Dancer. So the story of Asylum for me is pretty much complete. If Daemon ever finishes the original, awesome. But I think this was a good workaround of an ending, all things considered. As such, there will be NO sequels to this story, at least not by me. The story is over. I know I left a couple things open ended, like the bullies or the whole Sparkle family divorce situation. But that’s because I want readers to make up their own minds as to how those plot threads end. The story that needed to be told was told, and Asylum Twilight’s journey will live on, even if not onscreen. I think an open-ended conclusion is a nice change of pace for me as I usually like to wrap things up pretty tight in my resolutions. But it’s similar to how I view Make Your Mark. Not every question we wanted to be answered was answered, only the essentials that benefited the overarching story being told. And the show was all the better for that. I like to think the same way of my story. I will link the previous entries in this mini saga for your convenience, so you can go support them both as well.

First story: Asylum by Daemon of Decay
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/75199/asylum

Second story: Sanctuary by Kaiden
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/79489/sanctuary

Third story: Haven by Admiral Producer
(You’re already here, silly)

So while the escapades of this Twilight may be over and left to our imaginations now, I want to say that mine definitely isn’t. Thank you to those who supported it, and those who will inevitably discover the story in due time. Feel free to let me know what you think of the story in the comments below, and with that being said, this is Hawk Nightwing/Admiral Producer (I should probably just pick one) signing out until next time. Hoof to heart. :)