A change of fortune

by TheWingMan

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure
Length: 18705

A young man gets sent to Equestria by the means of a fortune cookie. Coming to terms with it, he'll have to brave the new world that may end up being his new home. He isn't completely alone, though. Heck, he may find more here than he thought.

A fortune cookie. A damn fortune cookie is what caused all of this. Caused me to lose my family, friends and everything that I had going for me (which admittedly wasn't all that much but it's the principle dang it!) and sent me to some weird alien world.

How did I end up in this weird forest? Why are there multicolored talking horses in the distance? How did a fortune cookie cause all of this? What the hell is this bug horse creature currently berating me?

I'm never eating Chinese again.

A fairly typical human in Equestria story that I thought I'd attempt. I was going to take a long hiatus from writing but I figured it would give me something to do in my spare time. Let's see where this goes.

Published 2022-07-17 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-24 08:25:21 UTC

Your luck will completely change today

"Ah crap, how did I manage to mess that up?!"

Recently acquired pizza boxes and soda cans lay around the now dimly lit room, the glare of the sun trying to pierce its way through the closed curtains. Alas, it could not get past the soft barriers. The only pure light source in the room was a very wide and bright television.

"Oh come on!"

I stared at the screen with a glare. How dare it rob me of my highscore! The nerve. The very nerve of it.

"Died again on the same part. Goddamn it."

I sighed in frustration, shaking my controller for a moment and slamming the weighty piece of plastic down onto the floor, the only thing saving the accursed technology being the bright blue carpet that enveloped the wood beneath it. 10 hours. 10 freaking hours I'd been trying to beat my highscore on this thing. It was all for naught, it seemed.

"Stupid...hang on..." I noticed something on the floor. Was that a fortune cookie? Huh, must have been left over from the Chinese takeout that I'd had last night after a few drinks. It was still neatly wrapped in its red packaging. I picked it up and glanced at it for a moment, suppresing a slight chuckle. "It'd be funny if these things actually worked. Even then, let's see what nonsense it tries to tell me this time."

Fortune cookies were a hit and a miss for me. On the rare occasion, you'd actually hear something relatively likely and understandable. Then other times you'd hear outlandish things akin to the likes of "you'll fly to the moon one day". Obviously they didn't directly say that but the things that they did say basically mimicked the stupidity of it. I shook my head as I slowly tore the soft and clean packaging, the fortune cookie falling out. I picked it up and cracked the little sucker open, pulling out the little piece of paper taking refuge inside. I looked for a moment before raising an eyebrow at what I was reading.

"Your luck will completely change today." The lucky numbers were 21, 25, 28, 30 and 31. I rolled my eyes and stashed the piece of paper in my pocket. I'd throw it away later.

"Pfft, alright. I have a feeling I'll still be eating pizza and questioning my life choices tomorrow, thank you, you crumbly villian." I took a glance at the time and had an "oh shit" moment. It was 2AM. Had coursework that needed finishing by tomorrow. I was almost done anyway, needed to finish it off and it would be hunky dory.

"Best try and get some sleep I guess." If I didn't, I'd be taking 6 energy drinks to college again.

Yes, I said again. Don't ask. Seriously.

As I fumbled into bed, I had a lingering thought. One that had been there for most of the day. A very important thought.

"I wonder if I can make it to college on time for once. Probably not."

I shrugged, closing my eyes. Here I come, sleep. Be prepared. Wait...why did it feel like I was floating?

"Huh...WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I opened my eyes to see nothing, just an empty void. Was I already asleep? If so, record time. If that's the case, why did I feel so....aware? "This....is this a lucid dream or did I finally die? If it's the latter welp, that sucks." I could still see my bed, strangely enough. I wasn't in it anymore though, I was floating above it.

"Alright, this is getting weird." I heard something, if only for a second. It sounded like...rustling leaves? I could walk now in this darkness. I walked forward, somewhat curious to see where this "dream" would lead me to. Or the afterlife, both worked.

I eventually made it to the point where the sounds were right next to me. "This is beyond trippy...wait, why do I feel...OH SHIT" I fell. And kept falling.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT I DESPISE HEIGHTS! IF THIS IS YOU GOD, I'M GOING TO THROW YOU IN A TUB OF MUSTARD!"

I hated mustard and I'm sure I read somewhere that god does to. What? I read a lot of interesting stuff, don't question me.

My fall eventually came to a stop. I blacked out for a moment before my eyes opened and I could see....a forest? "What the...how did I end up outside? Where even am I? We don't have a forest in our backgarden!"

I stood up, not feeling all that lightheaded despite falling for what felt like 100ft down a narrow tunnel made of darkness, brushing myself off and coughing slightly. "Okay...now I'm feeling the effects." I took a moment to compose myself before I looked around my surroundings. Where in sweet pizza's name was I?

"If this is the afterlife, this is pretty boring so far." I wasn't an outdoor person so seeing a bunch of forestry didn't really mean anything to me. Some people wanted to rub their entire bodies on trees (yeah, I've seen a lot of weird things) but me? No. I wanted to just do my own thing, which usually involved questioning why I bother playing games anymore or why I just lost 10 pounds on a fruit machine despite the guy behind me winning 50.

"Right, better see where I am. Hang on, oh shit..." I usually wasn't a person to have deep thoughts, it wasn't for me. But one did actually come into my head. "If this is the afterlife...mom, dad, everyone else....shit. Shit, shit, shit."

As you can see, I have a very broad vocabulary. I know, it's quite astounding.

Silliness aside, I needed to get out of here. This forest felt...odd. Like it was alive? That sounded crazy but with what just happened, it wouldn't be too far fetched. And if it's a dream, that makes even more sense.

Hang on...the rustling of the leaves. It started again. The fuck was that? Sounded like something moving. Something moving fast. Moving towards me.

"Crap crap, alright, I gotta mo..."

"Ahem."

I gulped. "Welp...shit." Whatever it was had already caught up to me, somehow and was currently stood behind me. I didn't turn around, I just looked forward until it spoke again.

"What are you?"

I raised an eyebrow. Not only at the question but the voice. It sounded like it had some weird, but really cool, echo like effect to it. Reminded me of a game. Funny that.

I turned around and spotted a...bug? No wait, it was more like a horse. A bug horse. Either that or a mutated experiment gone wrong. It looked at me with its creepy but alluring slit, green eyes and scanned me up and down. It raised its eye despite having no visible eyebrow. "I'll repeat again, what are you?"

I steeled myself and stared at it while I spoke. "Well, I'm a human. I can see that you're not, clearly. Name's Sam. And you are?"

It scoffed, rolling its eyes in a very snarky fashion. Already didn't like this thing. "A human? Never heard of such a creature. You look like a bald and sick ape." Alright, now I really didn't like this thing. This can't be the afterlife. Surely god wouldn't let such a weird ass thing get up into his place. I figured that this was some really random and crappy dream and with that knowledge, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction, audibly mouthing out "And you look like a random freaky monster from Harry Potter". I didn't get far though before I heard the thing chime up again.

"Hey you ape, I won't stand for that!"

I rolled my eyes and kept walking, this thing was getting beyond annoying. "Jesus Christ, I've seen some weird things in my life but this takes the caAAKKEE!"

I fell to the ground face first, making my mouth meet the grass. I coughed slightly, turning my head. I'd just gotten lunged at by this thing. It flipped me around and stared at me, its mouth slightly open, showing it had many sharp teeth. Fangs. I gulped slightly. Its eyes showed an intense surge of rage.

"Listen to me you foul creature, I will notbe talked like that to by the likes of you! I am lost in this stinking forest and I do not need a random freak insulting me!"

Alright, now this had gotten past weird and just gotten to the point of plain fucking whacky. I struggled but I couldn't break free of the bug horse's grip. "Let me go! You started it!" I saw it open its mouth and bare its fangs at me. Ah crap, was I going to actually die here? Fuck, I wanted a pizza before I clogged it. Just one last one. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain but it never came. Nothing happened. I opened my eyes, confused as to what the bug horse was doing. I heard it, then. A growl. And it wasn't from this thing. It was from something way bigger. Something that was behind us. The bug horse let me go and got into a defensive stance, pointing its crooked horn in the direction of the growl. Wait, horn? How in the hell did I not see that before? And the insect wings.

Man, I needed to start paying more attention. Then again, I was sorta zoning out when it started speaking. Pizza was more important.

"GRRAWRRR!" I got up quick, standing far away from the bug horse. A giant lumbering creature came out of the woods near us. It looked like a creation from Tim Burton. It had a Lion's head, a Scorpion's stinger, bat wings and claws? What in the...

"Where in the actual fuck am I?" The bug horse ignored the comment, even if it wasn't directed at it, and fired a green blast of something from its black and disfigured horn. The blast seemed to scare off whatever the hell that thing was because it immediately yelped and ran back into the forest. Seems the bug horse had some pretty nifty tools at its disposal. It was sweating somewhat and it turned to me, looking way past worn out.

"And you....I...I..." Before it could finish whatever it was going to say, it fell to the ground. I rushed over and caught it before it hit the floor. It looked pretty badly beaten up now that I got a closer look. Scratches were all over its black like skin. Actually, the skin was more like carapace than actual skin. Makes sense, it did have bug like features after all.

"Ugh, what am I doing? I should just leave this thing here. It did try to kill me." And I was indeed going to do that before a thought came to my head.

"How in the fuck am I going to get out of here?"

And it was a very good question. I had no idea where I was, no food, no clothes except the ones on my back, I didn't even have my phone. I had literally NOTHING. I took one last look at the bug horse before sighing and picking it up, carrying it on my shoulder. I wasn't the strongest lad but I certainly wasn't weak and this thing was surprisingly light for its appearance. I grunted, looked behind me. "This thing said it was lost in here, same as me. Still, I don't really have a choice right now. Alright, let's go that way." I walked....and walked....and walked, for what felt like hours. Actually, it probably was. I had no idea, I was too busy thinking about getting back. And pizza.

I know I've mentioned pizza a lot already, sue me.

I kept walking until I finally saw an opening to this everlasting fucked up forest. It looked like a....castle? Was that castle on the edge of a mountain?

"What in the shit..." I took a glance at the still unconcious bug horse on my shoulder. "You've got some fucking explaining to do when you wake up." I noticed an opening where I could get to the mountain. There looked to be something that resembled a city of sorts. It had...wait, colorful horses moving around? Some had wings and some had horns by the looks of it. "Alright, I give up. After everything so far, I'm not even going to question it for now. Let's get you up there, buggy." And with that declaration, I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and made my way up to the castle city thing.

"HALT!" I grunted and sighed in annoyance.

"Oh for fuck's sake, what now?!" I looked up and saw two of those flying horses. One was white and one was orange. Both of them had what appeared to be Roman like armor on. The white one even had a Centurion fan headress on its helmet. I chuckled. "Oh what, now I've got Roman ponies?" They both had spears. Said weapons were currently being pointed at my face. The white one spoke up.

"What exactly are you and why are you carrying the queen of the changelings? Did you slay her?"

I looked in confusion, not knowing what the hell this weird pony was talking about. "For one, I'm called Sam. And for two, queen of the what now? All I know is that I was in my room, I somehow ended up in that forest behind me and then this bug horse tried to attack me after insulting me. And no, I haven't harmed the bug horse at all. It fainted after pushing away some other creature that wanted to eat us both." The two ponies looked at each other. Seems they were just as confused.

"You must come with us, immediately. And quickly." I would have honestly made a sarcastic retort but I had zero energy after carrying this thing for so long and I just wanted to find out where I was so I could get back to my bed. With that in mind, I didn't say a word and just kept walking. They raised their spears again. "Creature, did you not hear us? You will come with us, now."

I chuckled. "That's exactly what I'm doing, idiot." Seems that wasn't the brightest idea because I suddenly had a spear raised directly in my face.

"Hold your tongue or lose it, ape. Now follow us." I didn't particularly feel like dying just yet so I shut up and walked with them, still carrying the bug horse. Following the events since I got here, I had one thought that I didn't think I'd ever have.

"I want to go to college."

Author's Note

Fortune cookies are good, you should get some.

Talk of pizza and bugs

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we..."

"NO!"

It'd felt like hours since I'd be walking with these two bootleg Roman ponies along with carrying the queen of the change...the change...I couldn't remember. Bug queen will do for now. Thankfully we were now closing in on the city and the castle. Honestly I had half of a mind to just walk the opposite way. Alas, I didn't really feel like getting a spear in my back right now. I just wanted pizza. God I miss pizza.

"We are here."

I looked up, sighing in relief. I was just glad to be clear of that weird, deadly and shitty forest. Note to self, never take my kids there.

Oh wait, I don't have kids and this clearly isn't Earth. Welp.

We continued throughout the town. I kept noticing those weird colored ponies what I saw before staring at me. Understandable I suppose. I guess I'd freak out if a random, talking colored horse came out of fucking nowhere.

And I was freaking out, internally at least.

"Creature, you said that you were in the Everfree forest? Why was Queen Chrysalis there?" Queen Chrysalis? So that's the bug's name. Eh well, bug lord still sounds better in my honest and crappy opinion. I would have corrected them on the whole "creature" thing but I didn't have the energy so I instead attempted to shrug with her still on my shoulder, which resulted in me nearly falling over. I balanced myself and looked in their direction.

"I have no clue. I was doing my own thing and suddenly, I was in that forest with this bug queen berating and threatening me."

The two guards looked at each other and then rolled their eyes. What, did they think I was lying? Horses man, can't stand them. Especially when they remind me of the goddamn Care Bears with their overly saturated and annoying colors. Although I did see a yellow horse earlier when we were just starting to pass through. It reminded me a bit of the cheese from pizza.

Jesus Christ, I have a serious pizza addiction.

After what seemed like even longer than the initial walk here from the forest, we had reached the castle. It looked...well, like a castle I suppose. There were a massive set of gates with more of those ponies who looked like they were cosplaying as ancient warriors guarding the front entrance and behind it to the left was a very well kept and large garden. Whatever royalty lived in here (at least I assumed it was royalty, a castle and all), they didn't mess around when it came to the style of the place. The two guards in front of me nodded at the ones in front of the gate. They opened the gate and motioned for me to follow. I didn't say anything but I sighed internally.

"I really just want to get out of this place and get back on my game. I still need to beat that asinine high score of mine." I looked back at the guards who'd walked with me. They looked away and did what I assumed to be a horse version of a high five. Wow, were they really that happy to get rid of me? Pricks. To be fair, I suppose I was being annoying for most of the trip here. Still though, pricks.

As I was following the other two guards, I noticed the massive halls of the castle as we entered, the massive doors behind us closing. This was starting to feel more like I was being taken hostage. Welp, certainly didn't expect my day to end like this. I looked at one of the guards and before I could say anything, it held its hoof up. "Not now. I'm not in the mood. Simply follow and stay quiet." I raised my eyebrow. Jesus, talk about a negative little shit. I shook my head and didn't bother riling them up. What would be the point? I still had the bug lord on my shoulder too, couldn't really just leave her here I guess.

Or I could. Eh well.

We eventually reached another set of doors. One had a royal crest icon on it. Looked like the sun? Weird. The negative nancy guard looked at me and nodded. "Go on in, the princess is expecting you." I just opted for a nod and walked in, the other guard in tow. Apparently I wasn't allowed to come in here on my own. Suppose that makes sense, I guess royalty wouldn't want a random creature coming in to their turf.

Me and the bad cosplaying horsey entered the room and I saw...another horse. What did I expect? But the more I looked, the more I noticed that it was very different to the others that I'd seen so far. For one, it was way bigger, the only one along with the bug to reach my neck. The other horses had only reached up to my stomach. And for two, it had a mane that seemed to flow by itself in the air and it had a bunch of what looked to be regalia on its neck, head and hooves. So, this was the princess? Guess it was a female then. Not sure how I didn't realise that when the guard said "princess".

I'm a slow learner, okay? Sue my ass.

The room itself was a massive one, having a throne at the back and another set of doors at the other side of the room. I turned my head back around and she looked at me and smiled, a surprisingly warm smile.

"Ah, hello there. I had been informed that someone had appeared in the Everfree. It is a pleasure to meet you..?"

It took me a moment to realise that she (yeah, certainly was a female after hearing that voice) was waiting for me to introduce myself. "Sam. As for what I am, I'm what you'd call a [i[human. And you are?"

She chuckled, getting down from her throne. Jesus yeah, she was big compared to the others. She strolled over to me, not unlike a cat, and scanned me up and down before smiling again. "Sam, it is lovely to make your acquaintance. My name is Princess Celestia, but you can just call me Celestia if you'd like. I do need to ask though..." She looked towards my shoulder. I rolled my eyes slightly. "Oh great, more explaining."

I set down the bug....what was her name? Chrysalis? That was it. I'll just stick with that and bug lord. Both are pretty cool. I put her down on the floor gently and looked back at Celestia. Yeah, fuck saying Princess. She may come across as friendly but from my experience so far with the bug lord and those guards...no. She ain't my ruler.

"Her? I'm not sure what she was doing. All I know is that I opened a fortune cookie, I somehow ended up in that really weird mutant like forest and then THIS bug horse showed up out of nowhere and started questioning me before insulting me. Before she could attack me, some other giant freak of nature tried to attack us before the bug lord here shot a stream of...energy? Not even sure what it was. I know her name is Chrysalis and that she's apparently a queen of something."

This "Celestia" looked at me questioningly, scanning me up and down again and then staring down at the bug. Her eyes seemed to fixate on her before she looked back at me, that smile coming back. Alright, that was kinda weird. "You two have some sort of history, I take it?"

She nodded, sighing heavily before looking back at the bug that was still unconcious. "Indeed we do, you are correct. Her name is Chrysalis. She was and probably still is the queen of the changelings. The changelings are a group of beings that feed on love. She and her army attacked us at my niece's wedding. We fought back and managed to send her away but she went quiet for a long time. As for what she was doing in the forest, I intend to find out. Is she heavily injured?"

If I'm being completely honest, I was trying my best not to cringe and laugh. Bugs that feed on love? Sounds like I was in a really badly written kid's cartoon. Alas, I chose to hold my laughter for now. Probably wouldn't be the best first impression to the royalty here. I opted for a slight cough to clear my throat and looked at the b...Chrysalis. "I'm not sure how hurt she is but she fainted straight after she shot that blast at that thing. She hasn't even stirred since I started carrying her back." Celestia looked at me, that warm smile making its way back on her face.

"You carried her out? I was curious as to why she was on your shoulder. You've done a very good thing, Sam, even if it's Chrysalis. Despite what she's done, I care for everypony. I will keep her here until she wakes up and then I will question her. You are welcome to stay here until she does if you so wish?"

I was started to become somewhat uncomfortable and slightly wary of this princess. Why was she being so kind? She didn't even know me, a random creature that showed up out of nowhere. It doesn't seem like these guys have never even heard of a human being so why was she being so trusting? I looked at her curiously.

"Why are you being so trusting and so kind? You've literally only just met me and I'm a completely foreign creature to you? I suppose I could be called an alien in some regard." Man, that sounded fucking crazy saying that. Then again, I'm literally surrounded by a bug horse and technocolored equines.

Celestia stayed near Chrysalis, eying her before eying me again. "You are indeed correct, I don't know you. I've never heard of a human before and I've lived a VERY long time. However, I try and trust everypony until they give me a reason not to. Chrysalis here has some explaining to do when she awakens. For now, the guards will escort her and you to a guest room until she wakes."

I looked at her, slightly dumbfounded. Leaving me alone with her?! She tried to kill me!

"Woah woah, she tried to kill me. I don't think leaving me with her is such a good idea." She looked at Chrysalis and then back at me before smiling.

"Do not fret, Sam. The guards will stay with you in case she tries anything. If she does, they will alert me. I will stay nearby. The guest room is only across the hallway from here." She trotted over to me, smiling. "And to go into more detail as to why I may appear as so trusting to you...I believe in the value of friendship. It's a very important lesson to learn and it is a very nice one to embrace. As I stated before, I give everypony a chance, even if they're unknown to me. As for how you got here....we will discuss that later. I shall see if I can help you."

I mean, she at least seemed genuine. I guess? I could usually tell if a smile was fake and her's purely radiated warmness. It certainly wasn't a fake one. If it was, then hot damn, she was the best lier I'd ever seen. Still, I was still essentially a complete noob in this place and I was still wary of everyone and everything here.

And yes, I noticed that she kept saying everypony instead of everybody. I couldn't be bothered to pull her up about it.

I looked at Chrysalis, the guards picking her up and motioning for me to follow as well. So many questions were lingering inside my head right now. Why was she even in the Everfree and why was she so aggressive? Was she just like that? Celestia did say that she invaded them. Then again, there was always two sides to each story. I might be an asshole but I at least listen to both sides. I sighed, nodding before turning around. I looked back and gave another quick nod at Celestia before walking out. I wasn't one for touchy touchy moments and that felt like it was getting way too deep for me. I honestly just wanted to get home and get some food. Me and the guards made it to the afformentioned guest room. They walked inside, carrying Chrysalis and nodding at me to follow. I walked forward into the room before the guards closed the door behind me. Something was nagging at the back of my head though and I couldn't figure out what it was. Something important. Something like...

Ah crap, my highscore! I forgot about that. Eh well, I'd have to worry about that later. Fuck fortune cookies, though.

Author's Note

Here's the 2nd one. Hope you enjoyed. Stay cool, guys. This heatwave is worse than 50 wasp stings.

Answers, questions and the thought of pizza

"Welp, this is boring." I sit there, sighing as I looked outside through the fairly tall window what adorned this giant ass guest room. If the guest rooms were this big, god knows how big Celestia's bedroom was.

"It isn't meant to be fun, human." I looked over to the guard who just spoke up, glaring at him for a moment before looking down at Chrysalis. She was still zonked out on the bed. The two guards, a female and a male, were stationed at both sides of the bed. Both had spears and the general armor that I'd seen these guards wear so far. At least they started calling me human now instead of just creature. It wasn't exactly ideal but it was a start, I suppose.

"Celestia said that she invaded this place?" I pointed at Chrysalis for a moment, the guards nodding in affirmation.

"That she did. Her and her army caused a lot of havoc in Canterlot."

Fucking Canterlot. I don't think I'd ever get over that name. I looked back out of the window without giving a reply to him. I was sat in deep thought all of a sudden. I wonder why she invaded? Was she just an evil tyrant or did she have a motive? If she did have one, was it an understandable one or was it just a bullshit excuse?

"Ugh....what...."

I turned my head around fast enough to nearly snap my neck. She was waking up. The guards steeled theirselves, tightening their grip on their spears. Chrysalis sat up and turned her head to me, it taking a moment to register who exactly I was. She then turned her head to the guards. I saw her eyes turn from confused and annoyed to outright fuming in an instant. She snarled at the two guards before they raised their spears. The male one narrowed his eyes.

I know, saying "the female" and "the male" was getting annoying for me too. Alas, I didn't know their names, nor did I honestly give a shit.

He raised his spear and pointed it at her. "Pipe down, changeling. This is your only warning. I'm sure we could give the princess a valid reason as to why we had to dispatch of you so I suggest you play nice."

Chrysalis grumbled, turning her head towards me. "What are you doing here, ape? I figured that you wouldn't have made it out of the Everfree."

I rolled my eyes, scoffing. "I'll have you know that I carried you out. If it wasn't for me and the guards that escorted me towards the end, you'd probably be dead. And as for why I'm here, Celestia offered me to stay here with you while you recover. She apparently wanted to question you about some invasion. Not sure what went off but..."

Before I could even hope to react (and considering how crappy my reaction speed usually when it came to anything but video games), she jumped up and lunged at me, my back hitting the window. Thank god it didn't break because it was a long way down. I grunted slightly, feeling the pain in my back as the guards jumped on her and dragged her off, keeping her restrained. Her horn started glowing again and from what I saw in the forest, this wouldn't be good.

She blasted the two guards with the same green energy that she'd used before against that thing in the forest, knocking them out clean. She then turned her head towards me, aiming her horn at me. I raised my hands defensively and slowly stood up. "Look, I have nothing to do with any of this. I don't even know what's going on. All I know is what I've told you so far. I dragged you out of the forest, these guards found me and brought me here. Celestia wanted to question you. All I know about her is that she's some sort of ruler here and that there was an invasion of sorts on your end. I honestly have no fucking clue what any of this means. I figured there was two sides to every story and I stayed because I wanted to hear what yours was."

That last part seemed to at least stop her from frying me with her weird voodoo snot colored magic. She raised an eyebrow, the green aura slowly fading around her horn. "You...you wanted to hear my side? Why? You're an unknown creature what has no place being here."

I shrugged casually, fully standing up now and dusting myself off, stretching my back and groaning.

Fuck, that was going to leave a bruise in the morning. Goddamn bug horse.

"Because I got raised with the mentality that everything isn't black and white and usually has a 2nd side to it. When she told me about your invasion, I believed that happened but I figured that you had your own side to it. Not only that, despite you trying to kill me when we met earlier, where else could I possibly go? I'm stranded in an unknown land and I thought you might have known the way out of the forest but you didn't wake up in time. I saved you because I needed to."

That last part could have been phrased better but I was never a guru at speaking well. I was an introvert who liked his own company. Words were never my thing but dangit, I was trying!

The green aura completed faded from her horn. Seems I wasn't dying just yet. She was still looking at me, clearly highly skeptical of what I'd just said.

"Fine. If you're telling the truth...human?"

I nodded. It'll do for now. I couldn't be bothered to start another argument with her over something like that. I valued my life right now, thank you very much.

"Right. If you are indeed telling the truth, I will think twice of eradicating you. But if you're lying to me and to put it bluntly, I think you are, I will kill you. Understood?"

I was quite frankly getting bored and rather tired of her "tough" attitude but I really didn't have much choice right now. I simply nodded and she seemed content with that.

"Good. Now, I'm going to find that bitch Celestia and..."

I put my hand up, stopping her from heading to the door. She raised her eyebrow at me again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Your best bet is probably just to stay here and wait for..."

Andddddd in mere seconds, she was shoving her snout in my face. Great. She opened her mouth and bared her fangs. Yes, fangs. Forgot about those. "Listen human, you do not dictate what I do. I am the queen of the changelings. If I want to destroy that prissy princess for what she..."

Before the oh so "lovely" queen of the freak bugs could finish her tantrum, the door opened. Celestia walked in. I gulped, looking at the two still unconcious guards.

"Oh fuck, here we go."

Chrysalis turned around and growled. Her horn started lighting up again. Ah crap. Celestia's horn started lighting up in a yellow color. I looked around, thinking about dipping under the bed for cover. Meanwhile, Celestia spoke up with her voice sounding a LOT more stern this time around.

"Chrysalis! What have you done to my guards?"

The bug queen scoffed, still holding her stance. "They are merely sleeping. See? Even I can be merciful, Celestia. But when they wake, I will....I...." I looked as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she started to slowly fall over. Out of instinct, I grabbed her just like earlier and stopped her fall. Celestia lowered her horn voodoo and looked at her with a somewhat...concerned expression?

"It seems she has still not recovered fully. Put her back on the bed, Sam." I nodded, laying her down gently. Why was I still helping this bug? I wasn't even sure myself anymore. I looked at Celestia as she walked over to me and nodded.

"I'm...sorry that it escalated to this. I wish she would let her past go and embrace a quieter life. Alas, it seems that'll take work. I shall come back later to question her properly. Hopefully she has had time to calm down by then. Judging by how she's been though...."

She looked at her guards, their bodies glowing the same color as her horn was a moment ago. In a sheer moment, they were opening their eyes as if nothing had happened and slowly stood up. I looked at her curiously.

"How'd you do that? Is it similiar to whatever Chrysalis did to them and that creature back in the Everfree?"

She wasn't there at the Everfree obviously but she could probably assume what I meant. She nodded in confirmation. "Indeed. It is called magic. The ponies of Equestia use magic in all sorts of ways. It is a story for another time. Right now, let us focus on making sure that we get the answers that we need. I shall try and look for answers as to how you got here. I know someone who could help."

I looked at her quizzically. "Oh...and who would that be?" Or perhaps I should have said what. With the creatures that I'd seen already, I wasn't sure what else was around here. A flying pizza monster maybe?

Jesus. I have a real issue huh? Eh well.

She smiled, walking off before turning her head to me as she walked out of the room. "Just someone whom I trust with my life." The door closed, leaving me with an unconcious Chrysalis. The guards walked with her, I imagine to get checked out. She did fuck them up, I suppose.

So, the beings of this place used magic, eh? Magic was real here? It was seeming more like a weird fever dream than anything else at this point.

And yes, before you say it, I noted that she said someone instead of somepony. Progress my people, progress.

I looked at the unconcious form of the bug that had nearly chomped me two times now. I sighed. "You better have a good reason as to why you're such an aggressive little shitstain."

I looked outside again, sitting on the windowsill as I contemplated what I did to deserve this. "Maybe I ate too much pizza."

Author's Note

Here's the 3rd chapter. Sorry that it's rather late. Hope you enjoy it, everyone.

No more fortune cookies please

"What the fuck?!" I sat up, gasping for air and looking around the room as frantically as a fly trying to avoid getting swatted. It took a few moments but I finally breathed a sigh of relief when I realised something.

"It was just a fucking dream. What in...I need serious help." Yes, it was in fact a dream. I was being attacked by several fortune cookies that sprouted spider legs. Thought I was being attacked by the deadly and annoying bug queen huh? Nope. Not yet anyway. Actually, as I looked to my side, I realised that she was still knocked out on the bed next to me.

Wait, next to...

I jumped up quickly, shoving the covers off of me. I must have fell asleep somehow. Jesus Christ, what did I do to deserve any of this? I was a normal (well, that was debatable) human being who just wanted to improve his high score on a video game and pizza! Was that too much to ask?

Don't answer that.

I rubbed the back of my head and audibly sighed to myself. How was I even going to get back? If I could, how long would it take? Weeks? Months? Years? Man, this was too much for me right now. My brain still needed to process all of this. I sat on the windowsill and looked outside, looking at the now brightly lit sun. Fuck, how long did I pass out for?

"Ugh....What...."

I almost didn't notice that. It was basically a whisper. I turned my head around and saw guess who? Good old sleeping beauty waking up from her impromptu kip. She turned her head towards me and I quickly saw the anger in her eyes, just like earlier. I quickly tried to defuse the situation. Didn't want a repeat of earlier, especially considering that the guards weren't here right now.

Actually, where were they now that I come to think of it? Oh wait, that's right. They got slapped around by this oversized bug. Suppose they're still recovering.

Pussies.

I slowly got off of the windowsill and raised my hands slightly. "Yo, calm down. We should probably talk. You need answers as much as I do, clearly."

Chrysalis (yes, I still remember her name) looked at me for a second before huffing, sitting up on the bed. "Yes...I suppose you're at least right with that statement, monkey. Now tell me, what happened exactly?"

I walked over slowly, making sure to make it obvious that I wasn't going to jump her. Not like that'd do any good after what had already happened but still...yeah no, not taking any chances.

"First of all, I'm not a monkey. Let's get that straight. Second, I'll tell you. Bit of an earful so you may want to stay sat down."

And so we talked. The lord of the bugs was expectedly hostile for the first few minutes but after I explained everything, she calmed down slightly. Yes, slightly. I could still see that she was angry. Suppose I couldn't blame her. She comes across a weird alien in a shitty forest filled with freak of nature abominations and then proceeds to faint, wake up with someone she clearly doesn't like and then pass out again. I think at that point, I'd be smashing a window.

After I'd finished and said my piece, she looked around the room before looking back at me with her creepy but weirdly cool slit eyes. Reminded me of a cat's, despite her being a bug.

"A fool like you saved me? In the name of the hive, what is happening to me..."

I rolled my eyes and looked away for a moment. This braud had a giant ego and I'm not sure if I could deal with it much longer if she kept it up. "Look, I didn't really expect any of this either but here we are. Now, you want to tell me your side of why you hate Celestia so much? Maybe if you told me I could actually get a bit of a grasp as to why you seem so hateful."

She snarled at me, making me back off slightly. She grumbled, looking at the door. "Fine. You want to know why, human?"

I nodded. I noticed that she finally said human instead of ape or monkey. That was refreshing I guess. Still not my actual name but just like the guards earlier, it'll do for now. She sighed and continued.

"My changelings were dying. We didn't feed for months upon months. I tried to make deals and peace treaty's with the ponies and with other races. None would accept. Alas, I was forced to try and take it by force. We would have succeeded if it wasn't for that unbearable Twilight Sparkle getting in the way of my plans."

I knew it. I knew that there would be a 2nd side to this story. Who was this "twilight sparkle" that she mentioned? Probably one of Celestia's followers, I imagine. Eh well. I'd come back to that name later.

I didn't really trust anyone here considering I was fresh meat and a completely unknown creature in this land but hearing that made me trust these ponies even less, especially Celestia. Granted I didn't trust ye old bugster here but I didn't get the feeling that she was lying to me. Like with Celestia yesterday, I didn't sense an ounce of mistruth at all in her statement. Even if Celestia hadn't told me the full story, she wasn't lying about what she said (at least it didn't seem like she was to me). She did however keep things from me what Chrysalis here just told me and while I understand, being a stranger and all, I didn't like this. Not one bit. Bug lord here seemed like she was just trying to save her race and even if a straight up invasion wasn't the right answer, I could fully understand why. Humans would 100% do the same if we were in the same situation. That's if either of them were really telling the truth. Even if I had an inkling for that type of thing, both of them could just be very fucking good liers and laughing at me behind my back.

Gotta love those trust issues, am I right?

I'd find out sooner or later regardless anyway. For now, I looked at her and gave an affirmative nod. "To be honest, I understand you. I completely do understand where you're coming from and I don't blame you for doing what you did."

She hissed and looked at me dead in the eyes. "LISTEN APE! I....wait...what did you say?"

The outburst threw me off a bit but I figured that she just expected me to put her down for what she did. Maybe that's what Celestia and the others did? Shun her for her actions despite her situation. It would explain why she's so angry.

"I said that I understand where you're coming from. You did what you had to do to try and ensure your race's survival. Was an invasion the best course of action from a moral stance? No, of course not. But it makes sense why you went that route. You had no other choice, at least by the sounds of it. My race would have done the same 100 times over if we were in the same predicament."

I think it took a moment to register what I'd just said because she looked away for a moment and then looked back at me with an almost shocked expression. "No one has ever actually understood me in that way." I saw an inkling of a tiny smile before she reverted back to her smug I don't take shit from anyone expression. "Hm. Quite funny how even a hairless monkey like yourself seems to have a more realistic outlook on the situation than anyone else. Especially Celestia. That bitch, I could rip her in two!"

I rolled my eyes at the ape comment. I was done correcting her at this point honestly. I'd already started to realise that her whole tough girl attitude was clearly just a front because no one ever supported her, apart from maybe her race. What were they called again? Changelings, that was it. Funny enough, she was the exact image of an anime term. What was it now? A tsundere, that's it! Thank you, internet.

I heard the door slightly creak open. I could only guess who that would be. Chrysalis stood up, getting into a battle like stance. Oh for fucks sake, not again! I stood up and I was going to try and tell her to simmer down a bit but the door opened as fast as usain bolt sprinting down a hill.

What? My imagination could be creative at times.

The door opened and revealed....yup, you guessed it. Celestia. Fun. Chrysalis snarled but before she could pounce like she clearly wanted to, Celestia held a hoof up and coughed to clear her throat.

"Chrysalis, please, just hear me out. I don't want any more violence to occur between us. Can we sit down and talk if that's possible?"

Buggy scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking towards me for a moment and then back at Celestia. "Celestia, you see this monkey here? He understood me in a mere minute more than you and your ponies have done in the several years since I tried to make a peace treaty with you! Don't act as if everything is hunky dory!"

Celestia glanced at me, clearly confused. I just shrugged and nodded. "I'm not sure what went off apart from what Chrysalis here has told me but from the sounds of it, she had to do what she had to do. But that's just my opinion." She gave me a hard and questioning glance before sighing, looking at Chrysalis.

"Let's go and talk somewhere. Sam, can you stay here while we do?"

I was about to respond but Chrysalis interrupted, apparently wanting to talk for me. "No, he comes with me. He might be a monkey who has already tested my patience but he is the only one who understands my side of it and I'd rather he hear it from your side too. He's already heard enough to just walts out of here without an opinion."

Celestia looked back over at me as I stared at Chrysalis, somewhat annoyed at her speaking for me. I wasn't a child alright, I could speak for myself! But she had a point. I had heard enough and I was morbidly curious to see what Celestia had to say about this now. Guess I wasn't going home anytime soon anyway.

"Alright, I'll tag along."

She sighed but after a moment of looking at Chrysalis, she turned back and nodded at me, motioning for us to follow. "This way. We'll talk in the meeting hall."

I held my hand out. "After you, bug lord." Chrysalis looked at me and rolled her eyes. I honestly was expecting a snarl but apparently not right now.

"Whatever you say, ape."

My mind was still too focused on that dream from last night to even give a response. Who knew fortune cookies could be so fucking deadly?

Author's Note

Here's another one for you folks. Hope you all enjoy.

More questions and thankfully, no fortune cookies

"So, that's it? You essentially nearly killed her because she tried to feed her race?"

"We defended ourselves. Nothing more."

I scoffed. I was currently sat with Celestia and Chrysalis, listening to Celestia's side of the whole situation. Chrysalis was currently sat next to me, snarling and slamming her hole filled hoof down onto the table. I noticed a slight crack in the wood. Jesus, remind me not to piss her off again.

I mean, I probably still would. I tended to be an asshole like that.

"DEFENDING YOURSELVES? YOU DENIED MY RACE A CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL!"

Celestia sighed, standing up. "I think we will leave it here for today." She nodded at me and buggy. "Sam, Chrysalis." And without another word, she walked out of the room, casually leaving me and Chrysalis in the room. I was honestly quite annoyed at how she just handled that. To give you a run down without being as long as the bible, when we entered the room, Celestia told us to sit. Chrysalis was naturally against the idea but eventually caved in and listened to Celestia's side of things. She basically just shrugged off her race's situation at the time and acted as if Chrysalis was completely in the wrong and that the ponies had no other choice. Bug lord here was understandably pissed and that's where we are now. The fact that she merely just walked out on us without being remotely apologetic really made me see another side to her already that I did not like.

As for now, Chrysalis was staring at me, obviously noticing my annoyed expression. "Nice to know I wasn't the only one who saw through that completely pathetic excuse."

I shook my head and stood up, stretching. "Honestly, I had to see it to believe it. I might not have any say in the matter but the way that she handled that was absolutely fucking dogshit. I can understand her being angry at the fact that some of her subjects got injured but to just outright deny your situation at the time is crazy. When a race is pushed to the extreme like yours was, you can't blame them for taking that course of action."

Buggy stood up and walked to the door, looking back at me. "You know what....you're not so bad, human. I'm heading back to the guest room to think. See you later."

I nodded back, a slight smile on my face. Seems buglord was slowly warming up to me already. Well I say that, it's only been a day or so since we met. Wouldn't exactly say warming up, more so she's tolerating me more. Yeah, that sounds better. God forbid it somehow turns into some cringy love story.

Look, I've seen way too many things on the good old interwebs. Some things are best left forgotten.

I sighed, shoving my chair back under the table and heading to the door. Suppose I should go and explore around a bit. Got nothing better to do. I opened the door and saw....a blue pony? She seemed smaller than Celestia but wore similar regalia to her. She looked up at me, more curious than anything else.

"Ah, so you're the human that my sister has spoken about."

I raised my eyebrow. This was Celestia's sister? Huh. Suppose it makes sense with what I just said. I leant on the wall next to the door and looked down at her. "She's mentioned me huh? Hope they good things."

She rolled her eyes and walked past me into the room. "All I know is that you're a creature that isn't native to Equestria. Nothing more. I have business to attend to."

The door shut behind me. I whistled, walked down the corridor. "Jeez, seems she got up on the wrong side of the bed. Nice colour on the fur, though."

What? I love the colour blue. Nothing wrong with that. Or maybe there is.

I headed towards the guest room. The want to explore had suddenly gone away. All I wanted to do now honestly was lay in that bed and think about pizza. Sweet, sweet pizza.

I made it to the room, opening the door and closing it behind me. Chrysalis was currently sat on the windowsill that I was sat on earlier, looking down at the streets. She didn't even acknowledge that I was in the room. She just spoke up without even batting an eye in my general direction.

"Funny. They all look so innocent down there. You'd almost believe that they weren't scum who need to be purged."

Alright, that was a bit too edgy for my liking. I understood her disdain towards these ponies but there was no need to go full emo on me like that dude from that one video game, Hatred. I think that's what it was called? All I know is that it had some long haired goth lookalike who went around shooting random folks for no reason. Pretty messed up. Shame there wasn't any pizza in that game.

How did we go from a game about shooting innocent people to pizza? My mind scares me sometimes. Really need to get that checked if I ever get out of this backwards ass place.

I walked over to the bed and sat down, looking at the back of her head as she was still peering down at the citizens of Canterlot. That fucking name. Still can't get over it.

"I don't really know what to do to be quite honest. I'm now essentially stuck in the middle of a conflict that I have no say over. All I wanted was to get a new high score on my favourite video game and get food. That was all. And then whatever fucking plebian of a god exists out there thought that it would be a good laugh to send me to pony land. Fucking mental."

That got her attention. She looked at me and smirked. "You have a certain way with words, human. Certainly more amusing than any of these ponies. All they ever do is talk about how valuable friendship is and why you should care for everyone else. Pathetic. Caring about someone like that is weakness in my eyes."

I rolled my eyes at that last statement. There goes the edge again. Edge so sharp you could cut it with a giant army knife. "I just tell it how I see it. As for caring about others...there's nothing wrong with caring for others. I'm a cynical asshat but I love those close to me. I just don't go out of my way to show it to Joe Bloggs down the street who I've seen maybe two times."

She scoffed, looking through the window again. "Whatever you say, human."

I laid my head down on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. "I have a name, you know. Same as you."

Queeny turned around, an eyebrow raised. "And?"

I rolled my eyes harder, turning my body over to get comfy. "Never mind." I suddenly felt an impact on the bed. I turned my head around to see...Chrysalis? She was suddenly sat on the bed. She sighed.

"Fine. What is your name? I admit, human sounds rather bland."

Now it was my time to scoff. I rolled back over. "Sam."

She chuckled. I could feel her creepy ass eyes staring at the back of my head. "What an interesting yet, at the same time , boring name. Even so, it's shorter than human. It will suffice. And just a heads up for you."

I mumbled. "What?"

My head ached as I felt a hard force against it. Did she just slap me? I reached to the back of my head and felt a sore spot. She did! That buggy bitch just pimp slapped me!

"Don't ever refer to me as buglord again. You just mumbled it. If you do say it again, I'll eat your love up like a candy bar and leave you an emotionless husk. Understood?"

Wait, did I just mumble that? Either she's going crazy or I am. I was more so inclined to believe the latter as my brain was still processing the fact that I got plucked from Earth and put onto this trippy ass planet. I'm assuming it's a different planet. Don't know anywhere on Earth that harbors these weird fucks.

I internally laughed at her "threat". Not like me being an "emotionless husk" would change a ton about my personality. Regardless, I just chose to agree. Too tired to argue. She seemed content with the answer.

"Good. Now, get out of the bed. It's mine."

I scoffed. Yeah no, that wasn't fucking happening. I don't care if she slapped me again, I was too comfy to move an inch. "Nah, I'm good thanks." Before I could say anything else, I felt myself being lifted up. What the hell?! I looked behind me and saw that she was smirking, before dropping me on the floor with her weird voodoo magic shit. She smugly pulled the covers over her and turned her head around. "Goodnight. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

I tightened my fist. She was going to get a knuckle sandwich, I swear. But honestly, at that moment, I was way too fucking tired to even care. I just shrugged to myself and laid down. I opted for the best response that my brain could think of in that current moment.

"Fuck you."

"No thank you, that's disgusting."

I chuckled. This was certainly turning interesting. Let's not dream about killer fortune cookies with spider legs again please thank you, brain?

Author's Note

Bit of a shorter chapter. I'll try and make the next one a bit longer to go into more depth about Celestia's side of things.

Making a big change. And I'm still here too. Fuckkk

"Well, this is boring."

Oh, hello again. Not bored of me yet? I'm honoured. Don't mind me, just currently floating around a white void. Seems I was asleep again. Albeit this was more boring than the last dream that I had. Makes me miss the spider-fortune cookie abominations.

"Can this dream hurry up? I want to get out of this shitty and bland vo..."

I suddenly felt myself falling as my sentence got cut off. I landed in what seemed to be...my room? As in, my actual room back on Earth, not the guest room. I looked around. Yup, everything was exactly the same. If I didn't already figure that it was a dream, what with the seizure inducing void that I just fell through, this would confirm it for me. I may be a pretty awesome dude at times but I'm not superman. Can't just fly to another planet. I sighed, looking at my TV. Still turned on, showing nothing but static. Suppose the reception in dreams is pretty crappy. I turned my head as I heard something behind me. It was...wait, it was the blue pony from earlier.

"Wait...you're Lu..."

She nodded and held a hoof up. "Princess Luna. You are correct, human. We had a talk with our sister...apologies, I had a talk with my sister after you and me crossed paths earlier."

I raised an eyebrow, staring at her for moment. Why did she just correct her weird old English like vocabulary mid sentence?

"Yeah, I remember you. Why did you just talk like that? It reminded me of how my race used to talk in ye olden days."

She looked confused for a moment before audibly saying "ah" outloud as if it wasn't already obvious what I was referring to.

"Ah, yes. I won't go into details as of right now but I will sum it up for you. A long time ago, an evil force which was manifested by my jealousy and anger towards my sister took over me. This entity was named "Nightmare Moon". To skip to the end of it, I was banished to the moon by my sister for over a 1000 years. During those times, the way that our ponies conducted theirselves and spoke had changed significantly. I sometimes still slip up with my words and sentence structure. If you want to hear the full story, I will tell you another time. Hopefully that answers your question?"

Alright, that was a bit fucking whack, even considering everything that had happened in these past few days. Bitch essentially gets yeeted to the moon because she had a tantrum over her sister. Gotcha. I just opted for a nod and continued looking around the room.

"Yeah, that answers it all right. Lot to take in at once but I get the jist of it. Sorry if I upset you earlier?"

Luna looked at me, raising her own eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

She was kidding right? The cold shoulder and the way that she talked to me earlier literally screamed "Get in my way and I'll end you". A bit like your girlfriend when you forgot to do the dishes.

My ex was a very big stereotype, let's just say that much for now.

"When we crossed paths earlier, you seemed like you wanted to eat me alive."

Guess that wasn't the right choice of words as she looked like she was going to vomit all over the place. "We would never do such a disgusting thing! We are a herbivore, the same as all of our subjects!"

Eyy, a slip up there with her structure. Wasn't going to correct it though. Didn't really feel like angering one of the rulers of this land right now. Maybe another time though, heh.

"It was a figure of speech. I was basically saying that it came across like you intensely disliked me."

She did another big "ah" (that was getting annoying now to be honest) and looked at me, chuckling loudly. "Oh! No no, I'm sorry that it came across that way. You see, I hadn't had a good night before you ended up here and well...I guess I can get grumpy sometimes. And not only that, you're from an entirely new species to us. Surely you can understand a bit of mistrust, no?"

I was too busy feeling nostalgic about the room around me to take all of that in but I heard the most important parts. I looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah sure, I get that. No hard feelings ey?"

She nodded, smiling. Was weird seeing her with a smile even if I'd only seen her twice so far. She seemed a lot more rough around the edges than Celestia, so to speak. Then again, with how Celestia had acted towards Chrysalis yesterday during that shortly lived "meeting", it seems both of them have unlikeable sides. Eh well. Problem for another day.

"I appreciate your understanding...Sam, wasn't it?" She walked towards the door. Wait...when was my door coloured blue? I get that this was a dream but what? Weird dream logic.

"Yeah, the name be'ith Sam. But yeah, no worries about our little exchange. I understand that it must be weird for you guys, me basically being an alien and all to you."

Luna smiled, heading out of the door. "Indeed. I will make sure to keep watch over your dreams. Just do me a favour and don't prove my assumptions about you wrong. I'd hate to vapourise you. Despite what I said when we had our first exchange, I can sense your aura and you seem genuine, if not a bit crude. Take care of yourself Sam, we will be observing."

I nodded before realising what she said. Vapourise? Hang on. "Wait just a min..." She was already gone, wasn't she? Fuck sake. What is it with this world and crazy shit? I sat down on my bed, what seemed to now be slowly disappearing. Huh. Guess the dream is nearly finished. Awesome.

"Back to drugged up horse land I supp..."

And with that, everything faded to black. Again.

I felt a sharp jab push against my back. Guess I was awake again. I turned over, looking at what the offending sensation was. It was Chrysalis. Of course it was. She was looking down at me with an amused expression. Wait, down...oh yeah, I forgot that she pushed me out of the bed last night with her space magic. Fucking bug queen.

"Finally up, monkey boy?"

I ignored what she said as I started to sit up and rub my eyes. I looked at my watch that somehow still worked. Not really sure how but whatever. It said 12PM. Jeez, I slept about 12 hours.

I know what you're thinking. Why aren't you questioning the fact that one, your watch still works and two, that time is measured the same here or at least seems to be. To kill two birds with one stone, I don't really give a crap. My brain was still processing the egregious action of waking up. I threw the makeshift cover of my jacket off of me and stood up, stretching my arms and back. "How long have you even been up?"

Bug lord went over to the door and motioned for me to follow. "A few hours, give or take. Celestia wants to talk with me again later to see what we can do about the "situation". If I could get away with it, I'd kill her now. Actually..."

I held my hand up, yawning. "Chrysalis, it's too early for this villian talk. Just see what she has to say. I'm just as curious as you to see what bs she comes up with anyway after yesterday's so called meeting. Actually, tell you what. If she actually starts to try and care about this whole thing or at least show it, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now."

She scoffed, apparently annoyed at that. "If you want to believe that bitch, human, be my..."

I coughed. "Ahem, let me finish."

I expected her to say something snarky in response or get even more annoyed but she simply rolled her eyes and let me continue. Progress. "If she proceeds to bs us again, I will be more inclined to take your side on things 100%. Well, apart from the invasion. It's all fine and dandy overthrowing shitty rulers but there's no need to hurt innocents."

Buggy McDonald looked at me, eyes somewhat wide before an ounce of a smile came onto her face. It quickly disappeared, as expected. Suppose she wasn't used to people actually listening to her side of things, the same as the other day when I took her side on the matter. "Alright, Sam. Deal. And about the ponies, I don't even care to harm them. The only ones that I'm after are the princesses. All of the others can do as they please so long as they don't get in my way. But for now, we will go with your plan."

That honestly shocked me. In the day or so that I've known Chrysalis, I've come to understand that she has quite the temper. However, I've also noticed that she just seems misunderstood and simply did what she needed to do for her people at the time. I completely understand that as I already had said the day before. The only thing I don't agree with is involving innocents. Innocents are already involved enough in wars back on Earth, I really don't need to see a pony and changeling version of it. In anycase, we'll see what Celestia has to say.

"Good enough for me. When are we supposed to be seeing her?"

Before she could reply, I heard the door open. A guard walked in, spear in hand. He scowled at Chrysalis before turning his head to me. Seems they still didn't like having her here. "The princess is ready to see you both now. Follow me." I saw Chrysalis scowl in return but I turned to her and shook my head. Really wasn't worth the trouble. She just looked away and stood up with me. Good. At least she was starting to listen to me a tad bit. Any progress is good progress. I didn't really feel like being completely alone here and Chrysalis was the only creature that I'd had any real conversation with outside of the two princesses and well...that was entirely different. We headed towards the door and followed the guard. I took the time to look around the hallways again as I did when arrived here the other day. I'd already seen the paintings but they were pretty neat, I had to admit. Most of them were paintings of Celestia and Luna (go figure) but some of them were what seemed to be random abstract paintings with mish mashes of colours splashed together. Pretty dang cool.

We eventually made it to the meeting hall. The guard nodded before walking off, giving one last glance at Chrysalis. She snarled when he'd left and looked at me. "That cretin. I should rip his throat out."

Despite the statement, I chuckled. Her way of talking reminded me of how angsty I used to be when I was younger. Could still get like that on video games. Or when my pizza didn't get delivered on time. What, you thought I'd forgotten about pizza? Pfft, there was more chance of me turning into Usain Bolt and doing 50 marathons in one day than that happening.

We opened the door, walking into the room and spotting Celestia at the giant table in the middle of the room. She smiled and nodded at us, pointing at the two chairs that we sat at when we were in here yesterday. Hopefully it went better this time. I sat down and peered at Chrysalis. She was glaring at Celestia, the individual in question seeming rather unfazed. Welp, here we go.

"Are you kidding me?! That's all you can say and offer?! To Tartarus with you!"

Yeah, I figured it'd go down like this. To avoid boring you with the entire two hour long meeting, it started off relatively well. Celestia talked to Chrysalis about what sort of agreement that they could come to where both of their races could prosper and live in "harmony". Yes, she said that, not me.

Chrysalis wanted regular stocks of love for her subjects. Yes, her subjects. Not for her, but for her subjects. She did actually really care for them and I admired that. Alas, Celestia didn't agree to that at all and so, here we are. The reason that she gave was that it would hurt her ponies and/or leave them scarred. I didn't know this originally but apparently, ponies have an adverse reaction to the effects of a changeling sucking the love out of them. Along with the "emotionless husk" comment that buggy made towards me yesterday before I fell asleep, it can scar them mentally for basically the rest of their life. I'm not sure about the hardcore details but to sum it up, it fucks them up. Badly. And to sum it up even faster, Chrysalis won't be getting what she wants and Celestia is essentially letting the changelings die. I can see both sides of the argument. I can see that Celestia doesn't want her ponies harmed and I can respect that and I understand how the depedencies of the changelings could cause harm to said ponies. However, I don't agree with leaving a race to die, nor how Celestia approached it. She was almost cold and quite blunt. It rubbed me the wrong way, especially with how friendly she had been up to me when I arrived here the other day. I completely understood that these two had a past but still.

Okay, up to date now? Right. After Chrysalis had said her piece and commented that she was going to "eat her limbs" (creepy fucker), she stormed out. I was still sat in the room with Celestia. She was looking at me with a saddended expression, her hooves crossed oddly like a human would. "I'm sorry that it had to come to this, Sam. But you must understand, I..."

I cut her off, sighing loudly. "I understand both sides of the argument but honestly, I'm siding with Chrysalis on this one."

This made her stare at me in pure disbelief. "What...why?"

I shrugged. "Because while I understand your view on the matter, her race is suffering. And while they may have caused you harm in the past, I can't fault them for trying to survive. I'm an outsider anyway. It isn't as if I have any loyalty here. Chrysalis is the only creature here that I've had any sort of meaningful conversation with, even if she can be a handful. And no direct offense to you...but I highly doubt you can even send me back to my world. I've seen weird magical shit here sure but that seems like a longshot even considering that fact."

Her expression changed to a darker one. I could see that she was getting annoyed. How fantastic. "You do realise that if you choose to side with her and the changelings and they start another war with us, you'll be seen as an enemy to the ponies. And as for getting you back home, I have been looking. I really have. But I have found nothing."

Of course she hasn't, already figured that was going to be the answer. As for the other things, she made a valid point but at the end of the day, I didn't really care. That may sound assholish considering she'd let me stay in the castle for the past few days but I felt more sympathy for Chrysalis than the ponies. While she came across as hateful and angry, most of it seemed to be bitterness caused by the fact that her race was suffering and she was pinning the blame on the ponies. Now I'll say again, I certainly don't agree with invading them to get what she wanted. It hit me in a way that made me feel sorry for her. If another war starts between these two races, well, I guess I'll have fucked up. Alas, I'd made my decision and I'll reap what I sow.

"I understand." And with that, I nodded and left the room. I honestly felt like I'd said enough.

Should I be concerned that this race of horses will now see me as an enemy to their state because I choose to side with the opposing force? Probably. But was I?

Not in the slightest.

End of the day, I was a stranger to these ponies and everyone else anyway. It's not as if they liked me or held me up on a pedastol. I really had no loyalty to them what so ever. Not saying that I really have any towards Chrysalis but I can at least understand her side more if what's she's told me is indeed the truth.

I closed the door behind me and walked towards the guest room. The guard that took us there earlier was stood at the door. He nodded at me and let me in. Chrysalis was sat on the bed, looking down at the covers. She looked up when she heard the door open and I could see the faintest bit of a tear. Was she crying?

"I hate her. I hate her so fucking much. Why can't she understand?!"

I sighed, closing the door and walking over to her, sitting on the bed. I sucked with this type of emotional shit. I looked at the window before opening my mouth in response. "Both sides have valid points. You want your race to survive, she wants what's best for her ponies. But to be quite honest, I've chosen to side with you on this."

That caused her to shut up for a moment. I turned around and saw pure shock on her face, staring at me. "You...what?"

"I'm siding with you. While I don't hate anyone here considering I've not been here long enough to do so, your race is suffering. The ponies aren't. Not at the moment anyway. I'd feel like I had blood on my hands if I didn't help out. But the same goes for them. I don't want another war or invasion to come out of this."

I felt something on my shoulder as I turned around to the window. Felt like...a hoof? I turned my head back around once again and yup, it was a hoof. Chrysalis's cheese grater like hoof. She was smiling. Jeez, that was creepier than I anticipated it to be. "Thank you. I don't know what to say." She coughed, looking away. "Anyway, the ponies brought this on by denying me my rightful claim."

I rolled my eyes. Here's the Tsundere Chrysalis again. This shit was getting too deep for me. I walked over and sat on the windowsill, looking down at the city streets. I sighed. "Love how I got roped into this and all I want is some pizza." I heard Chrysalis laugh behind me.

"You really are an interesting creature. I'm heading back to my hive, considering what just happened. You are free to join me. Either that or you can stay here with these idiots, either is fine by me."

I chuckled, jumping off of the windowsill. "Guess I don't have much choice. Celestia didn't really like my answer. Highly doubt I'll be welcome here again and even though she acts friendly, I feel like a lot of it is fake. As for Luna...I haven't talked to her enough to put an opinion on her yet. From what I've seen of the ponies so far, they seem very...fake. I might be wrong of course but that's a big reason as to why I'm taking your side on this. I highly doubt she's even really searching for a way to send me back to my home."

I saw Chrysalis ponder for a moment, getting off of the bed. "Tell you what, Sam. You help me with what I need to do and I'll try and get you back to your home. Those bitches aren't the only ones who know ancient magic."

My ears perked up at that. Hm...maybe I should go? I wasn't planning on staying here anymore anyway as I already said but this made it even more appealing. "Alright, deal."

She nodded. "And one more thing."

"What?"

"If you ever tell anyone that you saw me crying, I'll kill you."

I laughed. "Whatever you say." We opened the door, making sure that the guard wasn't there. I saw Chrysalis channeling her space magic and before I knew it, I was back in a black void. Oh great. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Author's Note

Bit of a longer chapter. I have an idea of where I want the story to go but we'll see.

I hate bugs

"Could you stop doing that please?"

"Nope"

"But I..."

"Nope"

"Bu..."

"Nope"

I had always found myself in situations in life what could have gotten me killed. Really, really stupid situations. This one was no different. Was I regretting it? Fucking HELL no.

"Sam, stop doing that." I sighed. Felt like I was going to get a scolding. I whipped around and spotted Chrysalis behind me, hole filled hooves crossed, giving me a tired stare. I stopped what I was doing, shrugging.

"Just something us humans like to do to anything that is remotely cute."

"I am NOT cute!" I heard her drone bark behind me. Yeah, cute as all hell confirmed.

Oh yeah, sorry. If you're wondering what I was doing, I was casually booping one of her drone's snoots. Snoot boops are the king of cuteness, after all. As soon as we got here via Chrysalis's teleportation (thanks for that by the way, bug queen. Still feel like I need to empty my stomach), I'd been introduced to her changelings. They tried so hard to be intimidating when I saw them. Did I scream? No. Did I cower in fear? Fuck no.

I did what any sane human would do and ran to one of them, booping their snoot in the process. Safe to say that their reactions were priceless. It was a mixture of embarassment and confusion. Granted, I'd probably react the same if an unknown and weird ape like creature bum rushed towards me and prodded my nose. Alas, it was way worth it.

"You're a weird one, you know that?" Chrysalis was still staring at me. Could see a sliver of an amused smirk behind that tired look now though. Good sign, right? Maybe I wouldn't be killed yet.

We'll see.

"And you're not, miss buglord 2000?" The poor drone that I'd just finished commencing my horrendous act of cuteness on was now staring at me in disbelief, looking more terrified for me than anything. A sort of "oh shit you're in for it now" kind of look. I could understand why. I only just got here, some malformed creature what looked like a mixture between a minotaur and a gorilla and I was talking to Chrysalis, their queen, as if I was best friends with her. Thankfully I just received a scoff from her.

"Whatever you say. This way. I'll show you around the hive and introduce you to my top soldiers." Top soldiers. Heh. Feel like I'm playing a Call of Duty game right now. Fuck though, I miss my games so much. Almost as much as pizza.

Don't you guys and girls worry, I'd never forget about pizza. More chance of me getting the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz, closing my eyes, clicking my heels together 3 times and chanting that there's "no place like home" 3 times just to get back home.

Maybe the Wicked Witch of the West exists in this place? God I hope not.

As my thoughts sidetracked themselves, I didn't notice Chrysalis staring at me again. Seems I got so lost in my thoughts that she actually looked slightly concerned for a quick moment.

"Gaia to Sam. You there?"

I shook my head, getting my thoughts back in check. I smirked. "Unfortunately I am. Don't remind me." She rolled her eyes and turned around, me following in tow.

"I can make that a non-issue if you so please." I saw that fucking smirk, you bitch. "In anycase, before we go and meet my other top soldiers, there's already one here." I raised an eyebrow as she stopped in her tracks and turned her head to look behind me. I caught onto the notion and turned my head around also. Oh.

Oh.

She was looking towards the drone who I'd booped a few moments ago. The cute one. It rolled its eyes and stared past me at Chrysalis. "I would never go against your wishes my queen, but why do I have to keep an eye on this peculiar creature?" Wait, keep an eye on me? The hell was it (I say it, it sounded like a female. Still had that weird and cool echo that all changelings seem to have in their voice) talking about? I turned around at a now smirking Chrysalis, staring right at me. That didn't bode well for me.

"Dusk Mercer here will be keeping watch over you as your personal escort guard. You're in my hive now and while you took my side on the earlier matter, I still don't trust you enough to go wandering off in here on your own. Either that or your go wandering off into the badlands and get yourself killed."

I smirked back. "Pfft, caring about whether I get killed or not? I appreciate the gesture." She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"I don't. I just want to make sure that my new curiousity doesn't go and vanish. It's either that or I become bored."

Wow. Buglord here sure knows how to treat a man.

I suffice for a simple roll of my eyes and notice that the chang...sorry, Dusk Mercer, is now following both of us. She looks at me stoically. "What is it, human?"

I shrug. "Nothing. Just think that you look cool is all." She smirked.

"Always nice to get a compliment from a hairless monkey."

Ah, so this one has a sense of humour. Good. Seems we'll not kill each other just yet.

I'll spare you the boring details of meeting buglord's other top soldiers. Her general was called High Mundus (safe to say that I chuckled a bit at his first name. Good old mature me). He was quite the stoic one. Reminded me a bit of myself I suppose whenever I'm too exhausted to crack any wise ass quips. Her other two, a sergeant called Skull Shaker and Bone Cruncher (I'm not making those names up. They actually sounded that edgy) were fairly chill. Surprisingly so considering I'm an entirely new species to them. In any case, we were now currently in my new quarters while I stay here. Was a fairly decent room which shocked me. The hive itself was what I expected from the queen of bugs. A bug hive. But the actual rooms for her changelings and this one, which I imagine was just a spare room that one of her changelings used to live in, were akin to the room in Celestia's castle. Pretty weird but I wasn't complaining. As I scoured the room, I noticed that it was a king sized bed. Good enough for me. Chrysalis had said her goodbyes and told me to get some rest if needed, which I was thinking of doing soon. According to her, the time here was currently around 11PM. I used to go to bed around 4AM so I still had a few hours left in me. My new "escort", whatever you want to call her, was sat in the room with me. I was sat on the bed while she was sat on the floor. She kept staring at me curiously and I was getting a bit creeped out by it. I eventually just looked at her and winked.

"Damn. I know that I'm good looking and all but didn't you know that staring is rather rude?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes at me.

"You wish. I've seen better looking ponies. I was staring because you intrigue me."

That was not the answer I was expecting but should I really be surprised? I'm completely foreign to these things, same as they are to me.

"How so? Well, apart from me being a weird looking monkey."

She stretched her legs, getting into a more comfortable sitting position. "You just give off a certain...aura, I guess you could say. In any case despite what I've said, my job is to look out for you while you're around and I shall. I can't say that I'm exactly thrilled to do so but my queen has directed me to do so and do so I shall."

Jeez, what a barrel of laughs this one was. Actually, I was curious about something.

"Are you all connected? You, Chrysalis and the other changelings? Sort of a hive mind?" She nodded.

"Indeed. We can sense when one of us is in danger and requires aid. That's about as far as it goes. We can't really read each other's thoughts without the aid of powerful magic, similar to ponies in the latter part of that sentence I suppose. We just have the advantage of the hive mind's basic abilities compared to them."

I scratched my chin. That was interesting but I'd heard of similar things with insects back on Earth. Bugs can tell when their colony is under attack or when one of them is in danger due to chemicals. I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice Dusk staring at me again.

"What about you? Are you connected with your species?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Humans don't have a hive mind. We're a very secular and introverted species, for the most part. There are certain humans that crave attention and like to be around other humans but then there's ones like me who just enjoy our own time. I probably won't see another human again anyway unless Chrysalis stays true to her word."

She raised an eyebrow. Or at least the changeling equivalent of an eyebrow.

"My queen has not told me about this. What did she promise you? And what do you mean? Why won't you see any more humans again? Are they extinct?"

I once again shook my head. "No. They're going strong as they always have been. If anything they're getting stronger which is a good and a bad thing. But to my knowledge, humans don't exist here. I'm from a completely different world."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't believe you but I'm too tired to scoff at you."

I shrugged. "Whatever you believe is honestly not my concern. It's the truth. As for what she promised me, she promised that she'd try and help me get back for me siding with her against Celestia in their meeting."

Now that got her attention. "You sided with my queen against Princess Celestia, the pony ruler of the sun? She did not tell me this."

"Indeed. I understood both sides but I couldn't let a race die. That's essentially what Celestia was going to do, even if she had her reasons. I may have a cold heart at times but I'm not evil."

The cute little feisty changeling smirked at me. "Awh, how cute. Wanting to save a species huh?"

Now it was my time to roll my eyes. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Just didn't sit right with me."

For the first time since we'd met a few hours ago, I saw a glimpse of a smile. "Teasing aside, I appreciate you thinking about us, especially considering we're both alien to one another. I can only assume that the princess meant us when you mentioned dooming a race to die, correct?"

I nodded. "Yup. It's why Chrysalis brought me here. Suppose she wanted my help with plotting against them. I don't exactly feel right being in the middle of a possible war."

Dusk walked over and sat next to me. Jeez, already getting this physically close to me huh? Calm down there missy.

"Mhm. Assuming humans aren't a war hungry species?"

I scoffed, chuckling more to myself than her. "Oh no, trust me, we are very war hungry. Humanity does nothing other than fight each other. We've always done it. But me, as an individual and relatively average person...it feels odd that I could be in the middle of a giant conflict on a world completely different to my own."

She looked away, humming to herself quietly. "Not lying about the alien thing huh? In any case, try not to think about it too much. My queen clearly sees something in you. Just see what happens. I'm ordered to keep my eye on you anyway. Not as if you'll be alone, regardless of my opinion on the situation or on you."

She was already starting to warm up it seemed. In her own way. Maybe? No idea. Met her a few hours ago so I don't expect much and I'm too tired to show much emotion. Speaking of which, how long had we been speaking?

Holy shit. Looked at the clock in here just now and realised that it's 3AM. Fuck it, better get some shut eye. I looked over to Dusk and it seems that she'd already caught on.

"I'm getting pretty tired myself. I'll be hitting the hay. I'll stay in here and sleep on the floor. You can have the bed."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're staying in here? Why? Don't you have your own room?" She laughed.

"Of course I do, numbnuts. My queen ordered me to stay near you basically 24/7 so whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me as I'm stuck with you. Better get used to it."

I rolled my eyes and got into bed, pulling the shockingly comfy cover over me. "Terrific. Welp, good night."

"Night Sam."

She knew my name huh? Must have been Chrysalis. Makes sense I suppose. Must have told her when she was giving her orders to stay by me.

In any case, I'll ask more questions in the morning and find out what I should be doing around here. Don't want to feel like a burden. However, I can't help that I've somehow walked into something that's way bigger than me in the grand scale of things.

If only they did pizza around here.

Author's Note

Welp, look what finally got updated. Finally got some motivation to come back to this and update it. I won't make any promises about when I'll next update this story but I'll try and be around more in the forseeable future. Hope you enjoyed. I'll proofread this sometime later or tomorrow.

Another dream? Great...

"Get down! everyone get down now!"

Dodging behind the cover to my left, I watch as a giant pillar falls and rolls past me. I grin for a second behind my visor. Damn thing nearly took us all out, never mind the assortment of robots in front of me all shooting at me at once.

I slide up the giant hill known as Grandhill, dodging bullets and explosions as I do. I enter a tiny little piece of debris, almost like a minature tunnel, and spot a robot spriting at me. I punch it and spot some more trying to bum rush me.

Roh ro.

......"Sam! Sam!"

The hell was that? Sounded....weird. Like it was more of a distant echo than an anything near me. Wait...why do I feel..

I pass out.

I wake up in a cold sweat, looking around the room. It takes me a moment to realise that I'd just experienced a dream and that I was still in Chrysalis's place. Not on Earth.

Fuck.

I rub my eyes, still coming around. I find the origin of the voice. None other than Dusk, the guard from yesterday who bug mommy...

Did I just say that?

Ahem, Chrysalis assigned to me. She was currently looking at me with mild confusion and some sort of concern.

"You alright there? I was trying to wake you up. It looked like you were having a nightmare." She shook herself as she got up, staring at me.

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah....was a really weird dream about...think it was about a video game that I used to play. It was called Vanquish. I'm assuming you guys probably don't know what video games are, right?"

She looked at me as if I was crazy before quickly shaking her head in slight interest. "Vanquish? Interesting name. I do not. What are they?"

Ah, Vanquish. Great game. If only I could play it again. I yawned and slowly got out of bed. Man, my muscles are not happy with me today. "Long story short, they're a nifty bit of tech that my species created a bit ago that allow you to essentially play an interactive piece of media for yourself. Control a character or more than one. There's a lot of different genres. You guys have movies, right?"

Dusk nods, motioning for me to keep going.

"Think of it like a movie that you control, essentially. You're in contol of what the character does and how they play in a sense. They're mostly made for entertainment. Great way to distract yourself." I stood up and stretched, cracking my aching muscles. She was still staring at me, her interest seeming to grow the more that I went into detail.

"That sounds like amazing technology. Exactly how advanced are your species?"

I whistled to myself. Oh boy, here we go.

"It's...lowkey scary how advanced we're becoming. Last I heard before I got zapped here, we were starting to make artificial intelligence, we have weapons that are honestly pretty damn brutal and terrifying that can destroy an entire city in a few minutes and we're trying to evolve ourselves. Well, some people are."

Her interest seemed to hit its peak as she stared in me in slight shock and wonder. "....Artificial intelligence? Weapons that can destroy cities?"

I nod, letting out a big sigh. I figured this wasn't going to be mega easy to talk about. Never liked thinking about the path that humanity was going down. "Yeah. We've built robots that are supposed to mirror both life and our intelligence and the weapons that we've built, we use them in the worst ways possible. Our main weapons are called guns. They essentially are relatively sturdy objects that fire bullets. Bullets are pieces of lead that dig into something, namely flesh, and leave a bigger exit wound. Sometimes fragments of the bullet can get stuck in you."

This made her almost pale. "That...that is awful. Your species is that brutal and war hungry? I thought we were bad at times..."

I nod and walk past her towards the door. "You can say that again. I'm going to go find Chrysalis. Coming?"

She looked at me curiously, no doubt wondering why I was going to find her queen, but she nodded regardless and followed. "You do realise that if my queen finds out about how war hungry and advanced your species is, she will try and pry that knowledge from you to better our race and to advance us, right?"

I scoff and laugh, causing her to raise her eyebrow at me. That was oddly cute. Huh.

"I'm just an average guy. Sure I know what technology we have and I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to it, especially artifical intelligence, but I'm no mastermind. I can lay out what we had and how the basics work but I can't build shit."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Figures"

Cheeky fucker.

..."So you're telling me that your race has created artificial life?"

I sigh and glare at Dusk for a moment, who idly gives me a shrug in return. Damn cute changeling spilled the beans on what we spoke about earlier. I look back at Chrysalis and reluctantly nod.

"Yeah." I quickly hold my hands up. Ain't no way she's dragging me into a war more than she's already planned to no doubt. "But I wouldn't have a clue how to build them. I ain't no engineer."

"Oh, you don't need to be. I assume you know the basics of how these creations work?"

Roh ro. Figured she'd ask that. Problem is, if I lie, she'll probably find out and then castrate my ass. If I don't lie, I may end up causing the next war here. Thankfully, I hear a cough behind me.

"He does not know anything about how his species military creations work, my queen. We discussed this earlier."

I look behind me and see Dusk glancing at me. Thank you, Dusky. Gotta remember to give you a cookie for sliding in and saving my butt cheeks. I glance back at Chrysalis who's now shooting Dusk a curious and skeptical look but as soon as it appeared, it vanished. She let out a long sigh and looked back at me.

"I suppose that makes sense if you're just an average citizen of your species. Shame. Could have aided the changeling race in a lot of ways if the technology what Dusk told me about is how she said it is. No matter. We will still finds ways of breaking the ponies, one by one."

I frown at that. She notices and raises her eyebrow at me. "There a problem, Sam?"

I cough nervously. Hated being put on the spot like this by anyone,. let alone the bug queen. "Look...I know that I sided with you against Celestia and the ponies but..."

She leaned in, slightly irritated. "But?"

I gulp. Too close there, queeny. "But while I don't agree with what she said and how she was essentially leaving your race to die, war isn't the answer. We don't need more bloodshed, surely. I know that I commented that I didn't blame you for doing what you did in canterlot due to your situation, but that doesn't mean that war should be the first thought when it comes to a solution."

She scoffs, walking back to her throne before sitting down and looking at me. "Remember dear Sam, you sided with me. I will do what I must for my people. You're either with us or against us. You may have saved me in the Everfree but that does not mean you get to dictate how I handle my own species and the path that they take to get where they need to. Do I make myself clear?" She shot myself a glare. Man, she was in a pissy mood today.

I sigh, choosing to nod regardless. Fuck else could I do in this situation? I'm just a guy who plays video games and someone who's awful at deadlines. No military training, no degree, nothing. Not like I could stop this myself with just words.

"Understood."

She grins, nodding. "Very good. Now that's sorted, I have a task for you." That makes me raise an eyebrow.

"A task?"

"Indeed." She nods again. "My people are mining in the underground depths of the hive to find any more valuables down there that we could use. I would like you to put yourself to use and go help them. Dusk will accompany you."

Manual labor now? Fuck.

"I don't think they'll like me down there. They're not exactly used to me yet." She rolls her eyes and laughs softly. That laugh was still strangely alluring and intimidating.

"I've alerted them already about you coming to help them. They have no issues with it. I'm not sure what the ponies..." That word came out so sharp that it could have slit my throat. "...have told you about us, my dear human, but we are not monsters. We are merely another race trying to survive. Something that those ponies refuse to acknowledge. Anyway, head down there in the next hour and see what you can do to help them."

I just choose a simple nod and wave over for Dusk to follow. She walks behind me as we leave. As soon as the giant doors to the throne room signify that they've closed behind us with a loud bang, I stare down at her. "You had to mention about the technology, huh?"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes as she started to walk towards what I assumed to be the underground of the hive. I followed behind and waited for her to reply.

"Calm down there, hotshot. I briefly mentioned it. I did not go into detail. I did not say that you had weapons that could level entire cities. If I did, she would have kept pressing you. Unfortunately, she will eventually find out. We're all connected via a hive mind, remember? While my queen cannot directly read our thoughts, she can sense when something is up. And you're welcome, by the way, for me saving you in there."

I'm about to make a smart ass quip about how she nearly got me rimmed by the bug lord but I silence myself before I even open my mouth. She did technically save me back there. God knows what Chrysalis would have said if I'd have continued. I didn't exactly what robotic changelings running around with guns and if she could somehow pry into my thoughts, what with all the video games I've played what included things like Vanquish has....yeah, I'd be screwed.

"Fair. Thanks for the save." She turns her head and I see a slight smile, only for a second, before she goes back to her normal stoic expression. I saw that, cute bug. Can't hide your emotions from me.

"Someone's got to keep you out of trouble. Anyway, this way to the underground." I stop moving and she notices, turning around and looking at me curiously. "What are you doing? Let's get a move on."

I shake my head. "I'm going to go for a quick nap. I barely slept." She scoffs. What? Not my fault that I slept all of 3 hours last night.

"My queen told you to..." I raise my hand. She narrows her eyes but sighs, letting me say what I want to say.

"I know she did, but I'm not going to be of much use to anyone right now. I'm running on fumes. Just tell her that I'll help them later on. I'm assuming the mining job will be going on for a while."

Dusk sighed but nodded. "It'll take a few days, up to a week if most, with rotating shifts." I nod. Sounds good to me.

"I'd appreciate then if you could tell the queen what I said. I'll make sure to go and help them once I've woken up." Another sigh escapes her but she finally caves and nods, walking past me and back to the throne room. She side glances me as she opens the door.

"Don't let her down. The queen isn't exactly forgiving nowadays." And with that, I'm left standing in the empty hallway. Honestly right now, I was more focused on getting some amount of sleep than whatever she could do to me. I walked towards my room and prayed that I could dream about something else this time. Namely pizza.

"Oh for fucks sake, not this again!"

I was stuck in the same dream. The same damn video game dream. I loved this game but why did I have to be here again? As I'm thinking this, I feel a sudden burst of pain in my back. Some fucker just shot me. Thank god for this suit.

I say that as if this is even real. I'm fucking losing it.

"Get down! Everyone get dow..." I was waiting for Burns, the big guy from Vanquish, to finish his sentence that I'd heard a million times in the game but...he never did. I looked back, raising an eyebrow from behind the suit's visor and what I saw confused the hell out of me.

Everyone and everything was frozen. Burns, the marines who you fight alongside with in the game and the enemy robots. I walked up to an enemy robot and touched it. I could still feel it, as well as you could in a dream anyway, but nothing. It didn't even react. It was currently frozen mid battle stance, trying to slash a marine with its rifle bayonet.

"What the fuck is going on? I've had this same dream a few times and this has never happened."

"That's because I stopped it. Hello again, Sam."

I spun my neck around so fast that I'm honestly shocked that I didn't snap it. I recognised that voice.

Luna.

"Ah, hello again, Princess. What are you doing here?"

"We wanted to speak with you about your interaction with our sister and Chrysalis. Our sister has informed us of...your decision. We wanted to hear your side of it before we come to any hard conclusions."

Oh.

"Mhm. Figured this was coming." I sighed, looking around the dreamscape. She noticed me looking around and followed suit, raising her eyebrow at the environment around her.

"This is a rather...interesting dreamscape. What is this referring to? And why are you in...that?" I laugh softly, looking around at the sheer chaos that this dream had turned into.

"It's from something that I know in my life. A video game."

"A...video...game? Pray tell, what is that?"

I wave it off. "Long story short, entertainment made by my species." She laughs, looking around.

"This is what your kind do for entertainment? Reminds me of my youth back when I was a lot more....bloodthirsty."

That was surprising. She didn't come off as the violent type. A bit grouchy from what I saw the other day, sure, but nothing too extreme. Then again, I suppose we all have skeletons in our closet.

"Yeah. Anyway, you wanted to talk to me about..." Before I could finish, I noticed her vanishing. Like straight up just fading away.

I raise an eyebrow. Fuck is going on? "Luna? What's wrong?"

Before I could get an answer, I feel something pull me from behind, like someone had wrapped their arms around my midsection and yanked me backwards.

I wake up, confused and sweating at the sudden jolt. I look forward and see....Dusk? I calm my breathing down, her noticing that I'd finally awoken.

"You need to get up. My queen wants to see you." I sigh and groan. Of course she does. Again. How long had I even been out for?

"How long have I been asleep for, Dusk?"

She looked over at the clock. Forgot that was even there to be honest. "About 6 hours."

I mean heck, at least I got some sleep finally. Chrysalis probably isn't happy that I napped instead of doing what she said though. Welp...

"Right. I suppose we better go to see her, then." I see her nod, walking over to the door and holding it open for me as I stand up. I was subconciously dreading the next dream that I have, simply for the fact that Luna will probably not be very happy with me, given what she said earlier. No doubt Celestia had told Luna her side and her side only.

Another fun day ahead, it seems.

Author's Note

Finally got the motivation to write something again. Hope this is up to scratch. A tad rusty.

Also, Vanquish is an S tier game. If you've not tried it, give it a shot. Just a very dumb and fun third person shooter.