Rainbow breaks the laws of physics for music
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Rainbow Dash Finds A Rolling Stones Album
Rainbow breaks the laws of physics for music
Rainbow Dash let the early morning wind ruffle her hair as she glided lazily above the still waking town of Ponyville.
She was just about to come in for a landing when-
“Ouch! What the hay?”
Something thin hit her in the head, sending her spinning towards the ground. Looking up, while she rubbed the back of her head with her hoof, she saw an opening in the sky. Through it she saw a weird hairless biped.
It said one thing, “Shit,” then the opening closed.
She glared at the sky, biting back curses, before looking down to find what had hit her. She saw a square piece of card board. Printed on it was a weird distortion of a cake, consisting of a tire, a pizza, a clock, and a film canister, held above a record and adorned with what appeared to be a miniature band of the same hairless bipeds, humans she believed Twilight called them.
The only words printed were, “ROLLING STONES LET IT BLEED.”
“Huh? Weird, but cool.”
Pinking it up and turning it over in her wings, she discovered it was a sleeve of some kind. She decided to check what was inside when she got home.
Closing the door to the cloud she had made into her home, she rushed up to her room. Emptying the contents onto her bedside table, she found a paper sleeve inside the cardboard one. Inside that, she found…
“A record? It’s music?”
She looked at her own player on the other side of the room.
“Should I? It did fall through that hole. I should probably give it to Twilight for study, but I’d probably never see it again. But on the other hoof multiverse music…”
She thought for a moment, she got an idea. A devilish grin crossed her face. “Twilight is the new ruler of Equestria…I would hate to waste her time with something so small.”
She giggled, she would just have one listen. She dashed over to her record player, put the disc on the turntable, set the needle and lay down to listen.
As the guitar began strumming signalling the beginning of the album, “Gimmie Shelter,” as she read on the sleeve. As it progressed she found herself moving her head, tapping out the beat as she learned.
She flipped it when it stopped playing and just sat there, enjoying the music. Eventually, as “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” began to fade out, she sat expectantly waiting for the next. When it never came she looked to the player.
“That can’t be all, there has to be more.” She picked the record up off the player and shook it, yelling, “Please give me more.”
She heard the door to her room open as she started yelling. “Hey Rainbow Dash, Sunburst needs you to cover a class for him, would you…are you yelling at a record?”
It was Starlight Glimmer, the purple unicorn held her hoof to her mouth, stifling a laugh.
“Have you ever heard of knocking.”
“You told me that if we needed help at the school, to just let myself in.”
“That doesn’t sound like me.”
“Oh really,” Starlight deadpanned. “Allow me to refresh your memory then.”
Firing up her horn she projected an image of Rainbow Dash, and sure enough, “If you need help at the school just let yourself in. Just do that cloud walking spell, I ain’t hoofing the hospital bill if you fall.”
“Dammit, that does sound like me.” Rainbow Dash face hoofed.
“What were you listening to anyway?” Starlight approached the table where the album sleeve sat. “Huh, weird art, I like it.”
She read the text at the top.
“Rolling Stones? Never heard of them, are they new?”
Rainbow rushed to the table and scooped it up. “It’s nothing.”
Starlight gave her an “Oh really” look.
“Uh huh…Rainbow, you’re a terrible liar.”
“Am not!” Starlight smirked and raised an eyebrow. Rainbow groaned. “I just admitted that was a lie didn’t I?”
“Yup.”
“Uggghhh. Promise you won’t tell Twilight.”
“Rainbow what I-“
“Do it!”
“Okay, okay. Cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye.” Somewhere across Ponyville, Pinkie Pie sneezed.
“Okay.” Rainbow breathed out deeply. “A human dropped it through a hole in the sky.”
“What.” Starlight’s tone was deadpan. “Rainbow, have you been in Berry Punch’s special cider again?”
“That was one time for Celestia’s sake!” She shuddered at the memory of that little escapade. “And no.”
“UH huh. Well if that’s true, shouldn’t we talk to Twilight…” she faltered at Rainbow’s glare. “…or not.”
*Ding*
Rainbow got an idea. “Hey Starlight, you’re good at magic right.”
Starlight sighed. “What do you want?”
“Could you get me in touch with that human, maybe it could get me more.”
“You’re asking me to open a rift between worlds for the sake of music? That sounds really dangerous and ill advised…I’m in. On one condition.”
“Just say the word.”
“Cover for Sunburst for the week.”
“Done.”
“Great. I’ll need some chalk. There’s some at the school.”
On the way over Rainbow found herself humming to the tune of Midnight Rambler. Starlight eyed her strangely, confused about the unfamiliar tune.
Rainbow wore saddle bags filled with bits, she would pay the human anything they asked.
The two entered an empty class room, and pushed the chairs and table to the edges of the room. Starlight left Rainbow to find someone, as she heard Starlight returning. “Okay Trix, I need you to make sure nobody disturbs us in there, it’s important.
“You are talking to the Great and Powerful Trixie. I am perfectly capable of guarding a classroom.”
“Thanks Trix, we shouldn’t be long.”
Starlight opened the door to enter, Rainbow saw Trixie saluting through the gap.
“Okay Rainbow, did you draw the circle exactly as it’s drawn in the book?”
“Down to the last detail, I’m not taking any chances.”
“Then let’s do this.”
Her horn glowed, the circle with it. “Pass me the album, it has their DNA on it, I can use it to locate them.” Rainbow nodded and handed it to Starlight.
“Be careful with it.”
“When am I not…don’t look at me like that.”
The circle started to dim as a hole began to form. It expanded to the edge of the circle and stopped, rising so that it appeared as ring in the air. Through the hole they saw a human sat at a desk, mouth hanging open.
It was them. “Hey you, Rolling Stones guy-“
“My name is George.”
“Yeah whatever. Gimmie your Rolling Stones albums.”
“Excuse me.” He sounded indignant. “Listen rainbow horse, you gimmie my property back.” He got up and started walking toward the portal.
“I’ll pay you.”
“I said n-“
She threw the saddle bags full of bits thew the portal, the contents spilled on the floor and he stopped in his tracks. “I-is this gold?”
“Yes,” Rainbow answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“I’ll go get those albums.”
Rainbow gaped. “That’s it.”
Starlight chirped in, “I’m with Dash on this, you’re just handing them over?”
“Of course, hell have my whole collection, I can buy them back and more with the money this’ll get me.”
“Huh,” Rainbow and Starlight said in joined astonishment.
Starlight snapped out of it first and stepped through the portal. “I’ll go help, this’ll only hold for a couple more minutes and there’s probably a lot.”
About a minute later Starlight returned with Rolling Stones guy carrying three cases. She stepped into the classroom. “Bye George. Thanks for the records.” She waved her hoof goodbye.
“No thank you for all this.” He picked up the bits, and giggled like a filly. “Thank you strange little horses.”
And with that the portal closed.
Starlight spoke first. “He seemed nice.”
“Yeah yeah, look at this.” She beckoned her over, the three cases were opened. She saw names like Queen, The Beatles, AC/DC etc. All bands she’d never heard off before, and of course Rolling Stones.
Starlight approached her. “Do you mind if I copy these, they are unique in this world and I would like some for myself. For curiosity’s sake.”
“Yeah no problem.”
Starlight’s horn glowed and she shot a beam at the cases, they were instantly doubled, contents and all.
“Hey Trix, you can come in now!”
The door opened. Starlight pointed to the three copy cases. “Could you put those in my office while I help Rainbow get these to her house.”
Trixie nodded and picked them up, before heading down the hall. Starlight turned to Rainbow, “let’s get going. And you’re showing me that album you were listening to earlier, I want to know what was worth all this.”
…the album trailed off as the needle lifted.
Starlight sat there, wide eyed.
“Rainbow.”
“Yes?”
“That was worth it.”
