Sweet Madness

by Get Bent

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 19167

(Topper’s Pizza Full Ver.) A lonely pizza parlor owner is visited by the Princess of the Night. What follows is a relationship full of trials and tribulations. But most importantly, pizza!

(Not necessary to read Topper’s Pizza before this one. The first chapter of this story is a copy-paste of that one.)

Knead Top is the lone owner of his pizza parlor, Topper’s Pizza. It was originally his parents’ pizza place, but they gave it to him.

…in their will.

One night, Princess Luna visits this pizza shop. They enjoy a pizza. Then, the next week, she comes back. And then again. And then again…?

They end up friends. One of them wants it to be something more.

But first, Topple needs to learn to let go.

(Cover art by slushpony! His work is great!)

Featured 7/16/22, by god, featured on the first day
Featured 7/26/22
Featured 8/09/22
Featured 8/30/22

Published 2022-07-17 04:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-27 01:27:50 UTC

I’ve Been Waiting For You

Topple (real name: Knead Top) scrubbed hard at the dastardly stain on this pristine porcelain plate. Or, supposedly pristine. It was supposed to be pristine.

Yet, this stain, consisting of: pizza grease and marinara sauce; did not want to leave! Oh how hard he scrubbed. And oh how fruitless this battle seemed.

Yet when all hope was nearly lost, it began to disappear.

Harder he scrubbed, harder he exerted himself, until eventually, the plate was clean!

He wiped his brow and put the plate on the drying rack, moving on to the next dish.

…Such was life, after all.

These dishes weren’t going to clean themselves.

Such was HIS life.

He, Mr. Top, as young as he was; owned a pizza restaurant in Canterlot. All on his lonesome. With no other employees.

This was due to the fact that his parents passed on only about a month ago.

When it was the three of them, they didn’t need employees. They could do it on their own. But now that it was just him, he… needed employees.

But it wasn’t like he could just make them appear. Force ponies to work.

…And he would put out a “help wanted” sign if he could even afford to pay ‘em….

He sighed.

Topper’s Pizza was losing money.

Well, customers, to be more specific. But that’s what customers were at the end of the day, rude as that sounded. But customers helped pay his bills. No customers = unable to pay bills. And that wasn’t fun.

He knew it had something to do with that restaurant down the street gaining popularity, but he couldn’t account all of it to just them.

…He was envious. Of course he was. But there were a multitude of factors at play. Factors he wished could just. be solved through hard work.

But no matter how hard he worked, he knew it wouldn’t change the fact that maybe Canterlot just… just didn’t like a good old-fashioned pizza pie anymore.

It hurt to say, but it was becoming more and more true with every passing day.

His restaurant was losing money, nopony wanted to eat his pizza, and-

Ding!

Oh, a customer!

He set down his sponge and walked out of the kitchen.

Well, nearly. He stopped at the last minute. He wondered something.

“How late is it..?” He muttered, and turned to face the clock.

Three in the morning.

He sighed. Guess somepony wanted a midnight snack. Hopefully they weren’t cranky…

The midnight snack crowd was a mixed bag. Either they’re a night owl coming in for a bite, a night shift pony coming to get lunch, or a kid that just woke up that demanded pizza. It was a tough judgement call on who to keep in the restaurant and who to throw out.

So hopefully, this mystery guess was respectful.

He opened the kitchen doors and pulled out his notepad, turning to face his customer with a smile.

The smile dropped, replaced by a shocked and nervous frown, when he saw who it was.

“P-Princess?!”

Princess Luna, ruler of the Night, Raiser of the Moon, sat in her throne room. She was very bored. She had reserved this time for night court, yet no pony truly ever visited her courts. If they did, they were there because they couldn’t meet with her sister in time.

She was ‘the other princess’.

…Such is life, though.

She’s learned to live with it. She’s learned to see the pros in it.

Such as: more free time.

…

But what to do with it?

By this time in the work-week, she’s already finished all of her royal paperwork and other important duties. She didn’t have anything to do with her time, as much as she wished she did.

She’s read every book in the archive twice over. She needed something new. Something different to break up the monotony.

grumble…

‘And maybe something to eat,’ she thought, blushing.

She hoped nopony was around to hear that. How embarrassing. Her guards were stationed, but she knew they would never utter a peep. It was unlike them.

Exhaling, she stepped off of her throne.

She could always get some food from the Royal Kitchen, given there was a night crew; but she didn’t want to eat in the castle.

She wanted to get out. It was getting stuffy…

“Rickets, tell any that need me that I’m going into town.” She ordered, turning to the guard closest to her.

“Understood. However, Princess, it’s two in the morning. Would you like any of us to accompany you?” He offered.

“Nay, I would like to go alone.” Luna replied. She could handle herself if she were put into any danger.

She was from a time when solving your problems with violence was normal. She didn’t need guards.

“Got it. Have a good night, Princess.” The guard smiled.

“Thank you, Rickets.” She smiled back.

Turning, she walked down the hall and out of the throne room. A few turns here, a set of stairs there, and she was on a balcony, said balcony overlooking Canterlot. The city had most of its lights shut out, but she knew there were some stragglers. Some restaurants that stayed open into the late hours.

Given the expensive living of Canterlot, some ponies had to work longer hours in order to stay open and afloat.

…she respected these ponies. Hard work is important.

Getting back on topic, though, she just needed to find a restaurant worthy of satiating her hunger and her… want, to do something for a while.

Shouldn’t be too difficult. But then again, Canterlot was quite the mixed bag of ponies…

She shook her head.

Jumping off of the balcony and taking flight, she headed for the restaurant section of town.

She was in the mood for a pizza.

It was one of the first things she had eaten upon coming back from her… time on the moon, and she loved it.

Spotting a pizza parlor, she began to dip down on her flight path.

“P-Princess?!”

The pencil fell from his mouth and clattered to the floor.

“Hello there.”

What could the Princess want? Why was she here? Why at this hour? Was she going to shut down his restaurant? He thought he did well enough to pay the bills, didn’t he? Did he miss one??

These thoughts ran rampant through his head for a little while. Until the Princess cleared her throat, trying to get his attention.

“A-Ah, sorry.” He said, shaking his head. “What can I do for you, P-Princess?”

He sweatdropped. He hoped she couldn’t sense his nervousness. He had seen the princesses before, of course, but he had never served one a slice of pizza!

“Well, I was wondering if I could acquire a pizza pie. Is your restaurant still operating at these hours?” She asked, smiling at the end to seem friendly. The poor stallion was obviously nervous.

“Uh- y-yes, I am! We are.” He corrected himself. “What can I get for you?” He asked, despite Princess Luna not even being seated yet.

“…well, may I take a seat someplace?” She asked. There was no malice in the way she asked it, but Topple still felt bad.

“Y-Yes, sorry, sorry. Right this way.”

Gosh, he was bombing! She could totally tell he was a nervous wreck. Hopefully she didn’t say anything.

He led her to a booth and she took a seat. Pulling back up his notepad, he got an order for her drink. Nodding, he turned around and walked to the back.

Okay, Topple. Okay. You’re serving a water to the Princess of the Night. There’s nothing weird about this. She’s just a customer, same as everypony else.

He got out a cup and began to fill it with ice.

Just….

He took a deep breath. In, out.

Relax.

Get her drink, get her order, cook it (as PERFECTLY AS POSSIBLE) and hope she likes it. Afterwards, she’ll pay, hopefully, and then leave.

It’s fine. She’s just a normal customer. She’s not the Princess of an entire nation. She’s a customer. She wants pizza.

He exhaled, and smiled. He set the glass on a tray and the tray on his back. Walking slowly, he opened the double doors, and walked over to the blue mare.

“Here we are, just a water.” He said, using her words. She said a quiet ‘thank you’, and he took his notepad back out. “Are you ready to order?”

She put a hoof to her chin, and flipped through the menu once again.

“I’ll have the vegetarian pizza.”

“What size?”

She put her hoof to her chin again.

“…Medium.”

His eyes widened, but he covered it up. A medium pizza? All on her own?

“Sounds great. I’ll be out with that soon. Anything else?” He asked, writing down the previous order.

“That should be all.” She said, smiling.

Her smile was calming. His nervousness was already fading slightly.

Nodding at her, he turned around and walked back to the kitchen. Opening the double doors, he took in another deep breath.

“Alright, Topple. Can’t screw up now.”

He began to cook the best pizza he had ever cooked. His nervousness returned slightly, but he was able to force it down.

He set his temperatures exactly, he made sure the veggies were proportionate, he carefully positioned the wooden slider tool, he pulled all the stops. This was a pizza for the Princess. He couldn’t mess it up, lest he get sent to the moon.

He gulped. That was just a joke…

…

…Hopefully she liked it…

***

After a while, his timer dinged, signifying the pizza was completed.

He removed it from the oven and admired his work. The crust was smooth, the veggies cooked. Things looked good. He transferred it to another tray, where he cut it into individual slices. He then took a deep breath as he balanced the pizza on his back.

’Well, here goes nothing…’ He thought to himself.

This is probably the most nervous he’s ever been in his entire life. Not even asking out Blue Cherry in the 5th grade made him this nervous. He felt like he could throw up.

But that would be bad for business, so he didn’t. He forced it down again. He had a duty to do. His job.

The Princess needed her pizza.

“Got your pie here, Princess.” He said his signature line, walking over to her table.

“Ah, wonderful.” She said. As he set it down on her table, she inhaled deeply. “It smells good. You’ve done a stupendous job, my subject.”

He felt momentarily relieved, “Ah, I’m glad-“

“I wonder how it tastes.” She muttered, picking up a slice in her magic.

…

As she brought it to her lips, his eyes widened in shock. “Princess, wait-!”

She bit into the slice of pizza. She chewed slowly and nodded as Topple stood there, slack-jawed. She seemed to be enjoying it, b-but…

“That was rather warm.” She said. “Nothing I can’t handle, of course, but I probably should’ve waited before eating it.”

That was a pizza that came right from the oven…

He coughed, regaining his bearings. She seemed to have blamed herself for it but he still felt at fault. He could’ve said something. “A-Ah, yeah, sorry. I tried but it took a while to consider that- that, um, thought process.”

He was stumbling over his words.

“It’s alright. The pizza is wonderful, thank you, Mr…”

The pizza is wonderful!

Wait, she was asking for his name. He considered whether or not he should tell her, before he shook his head and internally smacked himself.

Of course he should. “It’s Knead Top, Princess.”

“Excuse me?” She asked, slightly offended.

He coughed. “I know, I know. Unfortunate name.” He smiled nervously, a blush adorning his features. “But most ponies just call me Topple.”

She tilted her head. “Topple? Why’s that?”

He shook his head. “Agh. You fall over one time in elementary, and all of a sudden, everyone’s calling you Topple…”

He chuckled, and she giggled.

He.. liked her laugh. It was nice.

Huh?

“Would you mind if I called you Topple?” She asked, taking another bite of pizza.

“Not at all.” He nodded, getting over his momentary internal struggle.

She nodded, smiling.

They settled back into a silence.

“Well, I’m gonna get outta your mane. You can enjoy your-“

“Actually,” she interrupted. He stopped talking. “Would you mind joining me?”

‘…huh?’

“H-Huh? What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure he heard her right. She wanted him to join her?

“You want me to join you?”

Him. She wanted him. A common pony. To join her. Royalty. For pizza.

It just didn’t make sense…

“That is what I said.” She clarified, and gave him a look that said ‘yeah, I meant it’. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the look.

But who was he to say no?

“Well I’ll be…” he muttered. “Um, sure. I guess I could join you.”

“Wonderful!” She said, raising her voice.

Upon realizing it, though, she blushed and quieted back down. He pretended not to notice as he sat down across from her.

She pushed the plate of pizza towards him. He waved it off, muttering a ‘thank you but no thank you’.

“So,” she started. He was thankful she did. He was terrible at conversation. “Is this your restaurant? You look a little young to own a restaurant all on your own.” She put a hoof to her chin.

He nodded, smiling painfully. “Yeah, it’s mine. It was an inheritance, though. You were right about me being young. My parents, they, uh..” he trailed off.

Luna seemed to get the message. “Oh, my apologies. I did not mean to bring up any painful memories.” She seemed visibly more downtrodden now. Same as he did.

“Ah, it’s okay.” He smiled, hoping to lift her spirits. “I’ll get over it.”

Princess Luna looked like she wanted to say something in response, but she bit her tongue.

“Now it’s my turn for a question..” He trailed off.

“Go on.” She said, accepting his choice of words.

“Why did you ask me to sit with you?” The question was accompanied by his signature head-tilt. He was genuinely curious.

She looked up at the ceiling in thought, before turning her head to face him. She made eye-contact, and he had to do everything he could to not look away.

“…You interest me, Knead Top.”

“…uh..”

“You see,” she said, starting what will probably be an explanation for her behavior. He hoped. “I spend a lot of my time with nobles. Rich ponies. And… some of them aren’t very nice.”

She looked away. “Don’t get me wrong. I love all of my subjects. But some of them can use a few lessons in manners.” She turned back to him.

“When I left the castle a few hours ago, I considered the possibility that a restaurant I wanted to go to for my pizza pie was… run by a money-hungry business owner. One that did everything they could to earn more money, forgetting about the little pony.” She scoffed. “In layman’s terms, the owner of whatever restaurant I found was going to be absolutely insufferable.” She explained. “However, upon walking in here and seeing you? The way you carry yourself, the way you do things. It’s honest. It’s familiar. It’s like you truly care for what you’re doing, and I pride myself on my ability to notice that. This pizza is amazing, and my assumption is that, even though I am a Princess, you care enough about your customers to make pizza this good every time.”

She exhaled quickly, and took a sip of her water. “It’s such a breath of fresh air, Topple. I’m glad to be out of that stuffy castle, and in a pizza shop, talking to a pony that knows what it means to work hard and do their best.” She smiled.

He grinned. “Thank you, Princess. It means a lot to hear that.”

Truth be told, Topple was losing a lot of motivation. As already showcased by… everything.

Lack of customers and bills piling up was making him want to just… quit the business, and get a job at a factory or something. Throw away everything his parents worked for.

Luna’s words helped revitalize him just that little bit. He didn’t feel completely fixed and ready for action, but he was on the first stepping stone.

“And I really appreciate you not being afraid of me.” Princess Luna muttered, taking a bite of pizza. She still had a bit left to go.

“Pfft, you kidding? I was super nervous cooking the pizza. I’ve never cooked for royalty before.” He chuckled.

She didn’t.

“I meant… not being afraid. Afraid for your life and your safety.” She muttered, frowning. “There are a lot of ponies that still cower in my presence. Such as the nobles I mentioned previously.”

“I’m glad you’re not like the others, Topple. I know I don’t know a lot about you, but I can tell you’re more relaxed in my presence than the average pony.” She smiled, genuinely so. A smile of relief, yet also of.. pain.

“Oh, um.. it’s no problem, Princess.” He coughed.

He considered whether or not he should continue speaking. When she looked expectant, he threw metaphorical caution to the metaphorical wind.

“I uh, have never really been afraid of the ‘mare in the moon’. I didn’t trust when you had redeemed yourself, though. Even if I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t stupid.”

The Princess looked away in shame. Crap. He needed to fix the situation.

“..but, my parents chose to believe that you had redeemed yourself, so they instilled that in me. They said things like ‘our princesses’ and tried to show me whenever you did something good for the community. Eventually, I began to believe it. I could see it. You truly were a kind soul, and you didn’t deserve the reputation you had.”

Noticing she was still looking away, he put a hoof on hers. He had… forgotten he was speaking to a Princess.

She looked at said hoof, and then up at Topple.

He then realized exactly what he was doing, blushed, and pulled his hoof away. “A-Ah, sorry!”

…

Princess Luna laughed.

Not a giggle, not a chuckle. A laugh. A real laugh.

“It is okay, Topple. Thine comfort was appreciated. You hath made Our night.”

Woah, old Equestrian..

“Thine parentals sound like they were wonderful ponies. It’s no wonder you came out as you did.” The Princess said, reverting to modern Equestrian.

He smiled. “Thanks, Princess.”

He felt he was doing that a lot recently. Smiling.

A lot more than he was used to, at least.

Princess Luna finished up her last slice of cold pizza right as closing time rolled around.

“I’m afraid it’s time for me to close up shop, Princess.” Topple sighed. “I need to get some rest.”

“Not a problem. I feel I’ve spent enough time here as it is. I need to be getting back as well.” She said, and they both stood up.

They faced each other for a little bit.

“So, uh. I guess this is where we part ways.” Topple muttered.

“I guess it is.” She said, “Thank you for spending time with me, Topple.” She smiled. She was doing a lot of that too.

“Heh, it’s no problem, Princess. Come back any time. My doors will be open.” He gestured to said doors.

“I’ll hold you to that, my little pony.” She nodded, slipping in something her sister usually said. “Now, how much do I need to pay you?”

“On the house.” He said instinctually.

Royalty messed with his brain. What was he saying? He needed that money. Desperately so.

“I don’t think so.” The Princess said, making a coin purse appear out of nowhere. “How many bits?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

…He did the math in his head.

“It’s about 10 bits for the meal, Princess.” He muttered.

“Got it.”

She took out.. 12 bits. And then 15. And then. Too many. She put them on the table.

“P-Princess, that’s…”

“10 bits, plus a tip. Enjoy your rest, Topple.” She said, walking towards the door. “May your dreams be sweet and your parlor be fruitful!”

“I’ll see you, Princess…” he muttered, still not believing the amount of money he saw on the table.

She opened the door, but turned to face him. “Oh, and…”

His ears perked up.

“Call me Luna.”

Author's Note

I told you guys I would make it a full story

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave feedback! Don’t be a stranger!

Truly Holding My Breath

”Old mister Webster could never define…” Topple sang as he crumbled up a ball of paper. It was a fitting substitute for the real thing.

Throwing it into the trash can across the room, he sighed. The balls of paper surrounding the trash can, memoirs and reminders of the times his aim had failed him served as a time-stamp of how long he had been doing this.

He hadn’t had a customer in hours.

He was considering closing up shop early. However, the sign on the door that said “10-5, all day, every day!” Told him not to. He had already gone against his parents dying wishes by giving himself Sundays off. He couldn’t keep going against what they wanted. They had a system, after all. They kept the restaurant open for years. Somehow, someway, their system worked.

Who was he to fight against it?

He threw another paper ball. Swish.

“You look like you’re having fun.” A feminine, yet familiar, voice spoke softly.

“Guh?!”

CRASH!

Topple fell off the chair he was balancing on.

Quickly standing up and dusting himself off, he faced the entrance. A dark blue pony stood in the door, smiling.

“O-Oh, hey Pri- Luna.” He smiled back.

Seems she was here again. 3 AM, most likely, and it was the same day as last time. He remembered that.

“Having yourself a nice game of basketball, I see?” She said, lifting a crumbled up piece of paper with her magic. She brought it over to herself, dropped it on her hoof, and then threw it back over to the can.

His eyes followed. Swish.

“Nice shot,” he said, and faced her again.

“Thank you.”

…

They stared at each other.

…

“What can I do for you?” He asked, breaking the silence. He hated silence.

“Ah, I’m in the mood for one of your pizzas, Mr. Top. Can you provide me with one?” She asked, seemingly relieved he had said something.

She walked into the restaurant further, letting the door close behind her.

He smiled and nodded his head. “Of course. Same as last time?”

“Affirmative.”

He nodded again. “Take a seat wherever. I’ll probably be able to find you.”

The Princess giggled. “Are you sure? It’s quite packed in here.” She joked.

“Ha, hah.” Topple laughed, trying to hide the fact that the joke had hurt more than he thought it would.

He gave her the stepping stones to the joke, too.

Luna, noticing this instantly, (because Topple sucked at lying), put ‘lack of customers’ onto her ‘don’t mention this around this pony’ list.

It was a short list, only consisting of her sister and her maid, but she had made a new section just now. One for Topple. That was the first thing she put on there.

Absentmindedly wondering if she would have to add anything else, she took a seat and waited for her free glass of water. What’s a restaurant without free water, after all.

…She should try one of the soda pop beverages on the menu one day. There have apparently been a lot of flavors invented in recent time. Apparently they make soda out of ORANGES now! Not just roots!

As she considered ordering a soda, Topple walked out from the back with a glass of water.

No pitcher, though. Which was strange. Last time, he ended up having to bring out the pitcher. Talking a lot had made them both thirsty, so constant refills were a necessity.

Luna wondered if it was because he didn’t want to assume her intentions. She probably would’ve done the same, after all. Wait until the guest asks for the pitcher before you bring it to them.

Good customer service, but more importantly, a good way to treat a pony. Don’t assume anything from them.

She would give him a pat on the back if it weren’t a strange thing to praise somepony for.

She nodded thanks as he set down the glass.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll be back out with your pizza in a minute. Vegetarian, right?”

“Right.” She nodded again.

“Cool. Just wanna make sure.”

She nodded one last time. “Very well. Take your time, Topple.” She smiled.

“Don’t count on it. I’m a pretty quick worker.” he chuckled, and began walking back towards his kitchen.

She took a sip of water, and sighed contentedly. He was a quick worker. A good one, too. It wouldn’t be that long, but she can’t say she enjoyed waiting.

Waiting for the food was always the worst part.

Rather than bore herself to death, she began to look around the restaurant.

It was a place she enjoyed being in. Not just for the food, but also for the general feel of it. The brick walls, the open windows, the dim lighting. It was relaxing and it reminded her of restaurants from her time. Simple. Effective.

She wouldn’t be surprised if the building was a couple hundred years old. Though, if that was the case, it’s held up miraculously well. Most hundred-year-old buildings required maintenance and fortification. Yearly checkups.

But this one didn’t seem to have anything that needed fixing. It could easily stand for decades more, especially with somepony like Topple running things.

She took another sip of her water.

Oh, how she loved this quaint little pizza parlor.

Topple hyped himself up again.

He had made the pizza top notch once again. No mistakes. It was probably even better than last time.

.

Probably.

He didn’t know! He just had to wait for Luna to try it.

He huffed. Nervously.

Finishing up the slicing, he set the pizza cutter down and balanced the pie on his back.

It was a useful skill, balancing stuff on your back. The lack of a horn or wings made his ‘normal’ skills a lot more refined. Like being able to cut a pizza. He had to use ingenuity for that. And also his mouth. But mostly ingenuity.

He didn’t want to tell. Luna. about the mouth thing.

…He exhaled quickly. He wasn’t sure he could get used to that. Even in his own head, his instinct was to say ‘Princess’.

But she probably didn’t like that. Being treated like royalty all the time.

He could probably ask, but that might be rude.

But better that than assume everything.

He pushed open the double doors, and saw Luna wave.

He was right. He was able to find her.

He walked over slowly, set the pizza down on the table, and smiled. “Anything else I can get you?”

“This will do.” She said, seemingly content.

He nodded. “Great.”

…He waited a few moments.

“Oh, Topple, please sit with me you handsome stallion!”

-just kidding.

She didn’t say that. She didn’t say anything at all, actually. Slightly disappointed by the lack of any response from her, he began to turn around to leave her alone.

“Will you sit with me again, Mr. Topple?”

He smiled internally. There it was.

”Thought you’d never ask,” he thought. “Sure can!” He exclaimed. Maybe a little too loud. She didn’t seem bothered, though.

He, same as last time, took a seat across from her. They were in the same booth as last time, too. Talk about deja vu.

“So, Topple,” she started. “How’s business?”

It didn’t count as mentioning his customers. She may have even been wrong about that. Who knows!

“Uh, well..” He muttered, and then wore a fake smile. “It’s going alright.”

“Good.” She said, smiling a smile that was just as (if not more) fake.

She could tell he was lying. But if he didn’t want to talk about it, then, she wouldn’t pry. She wasn’t that kind of pony.

Her sister was, though.

’Good thing Celestia has never visited Topper’s…’

He cleared his throat, and she was taken out of her own headspace. “So, um. How’s… being a Princess?” He smiled a crooked smile.

She chuckled. “Same as always. I sign papers. I review bills. I sleep while the sun is out.”

“So…” he looked away, and then back at her. “You don’t like it?” He raised an eyebrow (that didn’t exist).

She shook her head. “While it is my job, I do it for my ponies. I do it for my subjects. I’m willing to sit down and sign some papers if it means my subjects are happy and healthy. I’m willing to sleep during the day if it means my subjects get a Princess during the night.” She smiled a mirthful smile. One that showed care and affection.

His respect for the Princess just went up, that’s for sure…

“Oh, well. That’s great.” He chuckled. “I would hope you enjoyed being our ruler. If you hated it, I’m sure things would be way different.”

She laughed. “Of course! Can you imagine that? If I hated my job I would be no better than the dictator of Griffonstone!”

“Wait, wait, Griffonstone is a dictatorship?” He asked, no longer laughing, having become genuinely confused.

“Snrk! You didn’t know that? Oh my goodness, do they not teach that in history classes anymore?” She said, shaking her head, laughing all the while. She was busting his chops.

He laughed too. “Hey, I was homeschooled! I guess my mom didn’t know.”

They both laughed.

…

After coming down, they settled into a comfortable silence.

Luna took a bite of her pizza.

“Oh wow, this is even better than last time. Bravo, Topple.” She said, this time being the one to break the silence.

“Why thank you, my fair maiden.” He said, suddenly feeling confident. “I do try my best.” He puffed his chest up.

“I’ll say.” She muttered, and took another bite. “You w-“

She cut herself off, opting to finish chewing before speaking. How unladylike. She guessed she just got caught up in the moment.

“Mph. You want some?” She said, finishing her bite of food. Topple shook his head.

“Nah, I’m-“

“Topple I insist.” She cut him off. She also felt more confident. “You’re all bones. You need to eat more, and I don’t want to finish a pizza all on my own again.”

…

She smiled. “Eat some for me?”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled back.

He took a slice of pizza. Here goes nothing…

…After taking a bite, he was pleasantly surprised by the taste. He hadn’t eaten his own pizza in forever, instead opting to live off of toppings and the occasional home-cooked meal. The toppings didn’t taste great as a meal, but he was able to stay alive by snacking here and there.

It was a terrible way to live, but being on the poverty line does that to a stallion.

Oh, wait, Luna’s waiting for him to say something.

“Actually pretty good,” he muttered. “I’m surprised.”

She smacked him on the shoulder with a magic rolled-up newspaper. “What do you mean, surprised?? You cooked it!”

Where did she get the newspaper? He didn’t have-

She hit him again!

“Ahh, hey! I just haven’t had pizza in a while!” He defended. “Especially not my own.

“But you live in a pizza shop!” She countered.

“Doesn’t mean I like pizza.” He shrugged. “Plus, I’m technically not supposed to eat the pizza. It’s for the customers.”

“…” she hesitated. She thought it over, even.

“I guess that’s fair…” She sighed. “You win this round.” She looked down at the table in mock sadness.

He hoof-pumped.

As the timer went off, Topple’s ears perked up and faced it. Darn things…

…Luna was telling a story about something to do with a carrot cake and her sister, Princess Celestia.

He didn’t know. It was really hard to follow.

He wanted to ask questions, but he didn’t want to interrupt Luna. She seemed to have thought the story was really funny. He didn’t want to kill her mood. Or her flow.

“Ah, that’s the closing alarm, is it not?” She asked, putting a hoof to her chin.

Topple nodded. “Mhm.”

“That’s a shame. I guess I’ll have to tell you the rest of that story another time.” She looked out the window. Still dark.

He chuckled. “I’ll hold you to that. It was getting interesting.” He said…

…not lying.

It may have been hard to follow, but it was getting pretty intense.

“Deal.” She smiled.

Luna got up, magicked some bits from a purse onto the table, and within a minute or so, she was out the door.

Topple frowned at how quiet his restaurant had become. His one customer had left. And without a hug or a hoof-shake or anything.

…Oh well.

It is what it is.

He locked the door behind her, and flipped the sign to ‘closed’.

Walking into the kitchen, he did a quick survey of the damage. There were some dishes, but he could do those tomorrow. There were also some toppings on the counter. He didn’t have rats, he could throw those out later on too. He just didn’t feel like cleaning tonight.

He could get away with it. It’s not like customers were beating down his door for pizza, after all.

He shut off the lights and walked backwards through the double doors. He shut off the lights to the main seating area, and hobbled his way through the darkness to a door labeled ‘Staff Only’.

He opened the door, walked up a set of stairs, opened another door, and walked into his living room.

He removed his apron and set it on a hook. Sighing, he walked over and sat down at his table.

He would’ve let out a breath of relaxation, but he had been sitting for a few hours. He wasn’t anywhere near overworked, sadly.

He kinda missed the feeling…

-He instantly had to get up again, though, when he remembered what he wanted to do.

Walking back over to his apron and reaching a hoof inside of the main pocket, he pulled out his own coin purse.

It was a lot more simplistic than Luna’s. Hers was a cute design of the moon and stars, while his was just a brown sack. He was kinda jealous.

Shaking his head, he threw it to the table and roughly sat down again.

“Okay, alright.” He muttered. “Let’s do this.”

He emptied the coin purse and began counting.

He had paid the big bill yesterday. He had just enough, having exhausted the last of his parents’ savings in order to pay that bill. It left him with…

Three bits.

Not nearly enough for anything. And that was scary.

Thankfully, Luna had left thirty-one this time. That left him with thirty-four bits. He could do some grocery shopping with that money when he ran out of food.

…The food situation was interesting. Most of the food for your restaurant was provided with money from the Royal funds, like he had mentioned to Luna. Granted, however, you paid your bills on time. He guessed part of the money in said bills was for the food. That’s how taxing worked, after all. Right?

Anyway, food for the owner’s personal residence had to be purchased with the restaurant earnings.

…Of which he had very little.

While he could technically eat the food provided by the government, he’s not supposed to.

He should probably stop eating those toppings.

But who’s eating the food if not him-!

He rubbed his head. He could feel a migraine coming on.

He wasn’t hungry. Luna’s pizza was quite big. He could skip a meal tonight.

He was in the endgame, now. He would probably have to skip a few meals here and there. It wasn’t a difficult concept to grasp.

…He could handle it. He was a stallion.

Putting the coins back in the purse, he stood up and walked over to his bathroom. He brushed his teeth, flossed, and took a shower. He always was rather hygienic.

He tried not to spend too much time in the shower, though. The water bill was a thing and he didn’t feel like running it up.

He stepped out, dried off, left the bathroom, and hobbled over to his bedroom door.

…

As he lay in bed, the ever-present feeling of hopelessness remained.

Author's Note

Second chapter. This one was pretty short on the first draft. Makes sense. Outline just said “have them talk” and I wanna kick myself in the face for writing that in

Whateva. Thanks for reading!

Don’t be afraid to comment feedback, or just comment! Don’t be a stranger!

And In Waiting For You

Topple wondered if Luna was going to stop by again.

It was nearing 3:00, and it had been exactly a week since her last visit. Those were the usual indicators, if the other times were anything to go by.

…that was strange, wasn’t it.

Either she wanted to be punctual, or the coincidence counter just kept goin’ up.

Who knows, really? Definitely not him. He’s not the elusive night princess. She is.

…

Man, he was bored.

As usual.

He was currently cleaning out the soda machine, but that wasn’t exactly exciting. It had been a while since it was last used and it had accumulated some grime. It’s not some far-out concept, cleaning a god damn soda machine. It was dirty, it was work, and it had to get done.

It is what it is.

…

scrub, scrub

…

…He wondered if Princess Luna was going to try a soda. That’s partly why he was cleaning it, after all; she mentioned soda in their conversation yesterday. Apparently, root beer was the only soda during her time before…

Before, uh, Nightmare Moon.

But, anyway, only root beer. That was it!

Topple didn’t consider himself a soda guy necessarily. But he could enjoy it from time to time. And though he found root beer to be somewhat appetizing, he couldn’t imagine it being the only soda.

“Guess I’m just too used to variety,” he muttered. “‘Spoiled colt’ as Dad used to say.” Topple chuckled quietly.

His… reminiscing, was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. He set down his brush and looked over at the clock.

3:01

He took off his hoof gloves and walked out of the kitchen, smirking. “You’re a minute late, Princess. I thought you were punctual.” He joked, shaking his head.

She looked blankly at him. “Ah, forgive me, Topple. One of my butlers was gravely injured. I had to rush him over to the Canterlot hospital.” She said, her tone indicating seriousness.

…

Crap. Sh- fu- uh oh.

“A- o-oh,” he started, “shoot, uh, I’m-“ He began to stutter over his words, trying to fumble out an apology.

…She cackled.

…

Topple was confused…

“I’m just joking! You should see how you look!” She giggled, laughing at his confused and scared stupor.

“O-Oh! Haha,” He chuckled. Sure got him, Princess…

…Their humor seemed to be a little bit different.

He got over it quickly, though. It was a little funny. It’s probably something he would say to mess with a friend.

…Well, if he had any to mess with, that is.

“Ah, it’s good to see you, Topple.” She said, knocking him out of his pity-party.

Entering the restaurant after coming down from her laughing fit, she started again, “I have returned for your pizza and company once more. Are you able to provide?”

He nodded. “A-As always, Luna.”

Despite remaining a little shaken up from her joke, he was still able to give her a smile.

“Then let us waste no time!”

“So, what is this beverage called again?” She poked the straw.

“It’s called Sierra Mist,” he explained. “Named after some stallion, I think. Him and his brother.. uh, Pepsi Cola? Yeah. That was his name. They own the big soda company that I sell here.”

“Are there other soda companies?” Luna inquired, eyeing the drink.

“Not sure. I don’t get out much.” They both chuckled.

“…” She moved her lips, making a face. “And… what is IN this drink?” Luna asked, going back into analyze mode. She slightly moved the cup and watched the liquid move around inside.

“…” Topple tried to think about what she meant.

“The ingredients?” She deadpanned.

“Oh!” Topple looked to the side, blushing, as he tried to remember. That was embarrassing. “I’m pretty sure it’s just lemon and lime.” He said, turning back to Luna.

“Oh, okay.” She said. “That doesn’t sound bad.” She smiled, seemingly excited.

“Of course not. I wouldn’t steer you wrong.” He smiled, and pointed at it. “So go ahead, tell me what you think.”

…

She hesitated.

“It’s not gonna kill you, Luna.” He snickered.

“I would hope not, Topple. That’s a bad business model,” she joked, and then took a sip.

-She careened back, quickly shooting her head up from the table. “Wow!”

Topple smiled. “Packs a punch, huh?”

“It does!” She looked at the drink in awe. “I want more.”

Topple wasn’t surprised. Soda always got its hooves on any pony that dared to touch it. Caffeine addiction was quite a problem in modern Equestria.

…where was he going with this?

“..Well, uh, go ahead. Drink’s on the house.” He said, pushing it forward. No caffeine in Sierra Mist anyway.

“We will discuss drinks being on houses later.” She said, and magicked the drink off the table. She began to drink it quite slowly.

He chuckled. Drinks being on houses.

…Was he supposed to charge for the drinks? Would they always be on the house? He can’t remember the last time he did that.

…

…but then again, he also can’t remember the last time he had a real customer.

That would explain it.

After Luna had taken some smaller sips, she then took a very large gulp of it, and Topple’s eyes widened. “Wait, Luna, that’s-“

She swallowed quickly, and coughed almost immediately. “Ack! My throat!” She exclaimed, voice scratchy. Oogh. Ouch.

“Yeah, that’s-“

“You said it wasn’t going to kill me!” She said in an accusatory tone.

“It won’t! But it will hurt if you suck it down too fast,” Topple explained. “But why would you do that? I thought you said you drank root beer back in the day.”

“I said we HAD root beer,” she clarified, “But I never bothered drinking much of it.” She shrugged. “I had no idea soda pop could be that painful…”

Topple raised an imaginary eye brow. “Why not?” He asked. “Why didn’t you drink any root beer, I mean.” He clarified.

She put a hoof to her chin. “…Soda pop was seen as… rather uncouth a thousand years ago. It was a foal’s drink, not one really enjoyed among ‘Canterlot’s Finest’. Which, believe it or not, I was a part of.” She explained, and then, much slower this time, took a sip of the drink.

“No, really? You’re a noble? I had no idea!” He said sarcastically, snickering when she punched him in the shoulder.

“Whatever.” She chuckled.

She then took another sip. “It’s much better to drink this stuff slowly.” She smacked her lips quietly. “It goes down much better.”

“I’ll bet.” He said. “Anyway, do you want that pizza now?”

Great segue.

She hadn’t ordered anything yet, aside from the soda. He didn’t have anything cooking. She had asked him to join her when she tried her first soda of the new age.

…Or, more accurately, her first soda period.

He didn’t have a problem with that, but he can’t exactly cook a pizza when he’s not in the kitchen. That’s how cooking works.

He smiled at his dumb joke.

“It would be appreciated, Topple.” She smiled softly. “Thank you for joining me in this new experience.” She chirped.

“It’s no problem, Luna.” He smiled back, and stood up. He shuffled out from the booth, and began to walk off. “Happy to have been there!” He yelled out behind him.

…

…He opened the double doors to his kitchen and sighed.

Time to get to work.

Opening a low cupboard, he grabbed out the bread flour, the yeast, sugar, salt, olive oil, and… honey.

…He always got weird looks for the honey. But his parents always told him that ‘a little honey in the dough’ makes it taste way better.

And honestly, they were right. As usual. They really knew their pizza.

“My skills compared to theirs,” he huffed, “It’s practically night and day,” he muttered, grabbing a metal bowl from another cupboard.

…While he was getting much better at making pizza, Topple still didn’t believe himself to match up to their skill. They were the masters, as were their parents before them.

…

…At times, he did wonder if they went through what he was going through. Struggling to keep the restaurant open. Feeling inferior in every way.

-They probably did.

…It was probably much easier, though.

Dad met mom when they were both sixteen. He had a partner from the start. He was easily able to take over the restaurant when Grandpa died.

Topple, well, he didn’t even KNOW any mares.

…

He looked through his kitchen window and saw Luna playing with her straw.

He looked down at the table and used his measuring cups to begin putting the materials into the metal bowl.

…Whatever. He can’t be jealous of his parents.

“Even if they did have it so much easier…” he grumbled.

…

He sighed.

”Just stop.”

He looked back over at Luna.

He paused.

He shook his head.

He needed to make a good pizza.

No, not needed to. He wasn’t going to TRY to make a good pizza. He WOULD make a good pizza. He’d make the BEST pizza.

For her.

-Not so he could get in-between her legs, damn it, but because he needed to up his skill.

He wasn’t going to get customers if his pizza was mediocre.

…He doesn’t know how many times he’s told himself that in these past few days.

Felt like… too much.

Argh.

What the hell.

“Mm!” Princess Luna vocalized. “I must say, Topple,” she covered her mouth with a hoof, so as to seem respectful and not spray food everywhere, “I think this is your best work yet.”

“Thank Celestia,” he muttered, sighing in relief. He knew it. He made a good pizza.

“Thank WHO?” Luna said, giving him a sideways glance.

“Uh, I mean-!”

Luna giggled again.

…She seemed to really enjoy yanking his chain. He sighed in defeat. He needed to get her one of these days. When that day would come, well, he wasn’t sure.

But mark his words, it was gonna happen.

“A-Anyway.” He said, shaking his head. “I had a question for you.”

She nodded, as if to say ‘go on’.

“Why do you always come in so late at night? Or. Early. Why do you always come in at 3:00?” He asked.

It was a question he had been thinking about for a while.

The answer was obvious, though.

She finished her bite of food and raised an eyebrow. “I’m awake during the night, Topple. I’m the Princess of the Night.” She chuckled. “It’s… my thing.”

He facehooved. “You’re right. Stupid question.”

“That’s quite alright.” She muttered. “Though there is a reason I come out to your restaurant, rather than stay at the castle.”

“What’s that?” He asked. Yeah. That’s what he should’ve asked in the first place.

“Well, to put it simply,” She shrugged. “I have nothing to do.”

He raised his own imaginary eyebrow. “You have nothing to do? So you come to me?”

He felt… slightly offended?

“I didn’t mean it like that.” She shook her head. “I meant ‘I come here when I can’ not; ‘I only come here when I’m bored to gain entertainment out of you, subject’.” She explained. “Originally, I came because I was hungry. But I will admit that these last few times haven’t just been for that reason.”

She smiled. He smiled back.

“Thanks.” He said.

“But wait, you’re a Princess.” He realized. “I thought you had court?” He asked.

“I do,” she sighed. “Thing is, nopony ever visits.”

Ouch.

“Of course, I can sit and wait on my flank all day for one of my subjects to bother to show up, but it just doesn’t happen.” She looked down at the table. “I’ve started making my courts on appointment only. It’s how I’ve been able to spend so much time here and… not worry about wasting anypony’s time.” She said, muttering that last part.

“Well, now that it’s appointment based, surely you’ve got some takers. Appointments are a lot more convenient than Princess Celestia’s ‘show up early or get screwed’ business model.” Topple said, shrugging.

“You’d think.” She laughed a pained laugh.

There was a sad silence.

“…I’m sorry, Luna.”

She said nothing.

“Maybe one of these days I’ll make an appointment.” He said, in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. “I’ll say I have something important to discuss, but really, I’m there just to mess with you.” He smiled.

She smiled back. “I’d like that. It would be nice to have a friend visit the castle.”

…friend?

“Yes, friend.” She said, replying to his. Thought?

Shoot. He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“I consider you a friend, Topple. Are you… okay with that?” She asked, looking like a kicked puppy.

“O-Of course I’m okay with that.”

He couldn’t say no. Even if he could, though?

…He wouldn’t.

“Yeah, sure. We can be friends.” He smiled.

“Huzzah!” She yelled. Topple could swear his ears began to bleed. The Royal Canterlot voice was louder than he thought it would be. “Our first friend!” She said, much quieter this time, and then coughed upon realizing the volume of her voice originally.

He chuckled at the display.

He personally didn’t think he was that interesting, but who was he to rain on her parade?

“I’m happy to be your friend, Luna.”

“And I am happy to be yours, Topple.”

They smiled at each other, and settled into a nice silence.

Topple gestured to the pizza, and Luna nodded. He then took a slice and brought it to his mouth.

…

“…It really is good.” He thought.

It was a solid pizza. He had done a good job.

Hm.

The silence reigned for a few minutes. Both just enjoyed the pizza and their respective drinks.

Until Luna spoke up.

“So, Topple,” Luna started after a few more moments of silence. “Have I told you anything about what’s happening in Zebricon?”

“…Zebricon?”

The hell was that?

Luna, on the other hand, was considering her decision.

It wasn’t technically a ‘Royal secret’. Zebricon officials themselves were throwing out the information willy-nilly, and her sister kept confiding in various guards. The entire castle knew by this point. No harm would come from telling Topple about it.

…she hoped.

No.

She knew.

“Yes, Zebricon.” Luna stated. “Do you know what that is?”

“Can’t say I’m familiar.” He said, telling the honest truth. He had never heard of such a place.

“I don’t blame you. It’s a new region, sprouted up only about a hundred years ago.” Topple choked on his drink. “It was formed from a group of zebras that seceded from Farasi and decided to make their own nation. Something about ‘keeping the species pure’ or… something else like that. I honestly believe that to be quite xenophobic, but that’s just my opinion.” She had a look of disgust for a second. “It, despite having started with a small population, is… actually quite large now.” Luna explained. “They have an entire society. Restaurants, hotels, tourist attractions. It’s honestly quite impressive.” She stopped, and looked to make sure he was paying attention.

He picked up on it. “I’m following.”

“Yes, good. Anyway, the reason us Equestrians have business over there is that they tried to declare war on us.” Luna said, casually dropping an information bomb.

His eyes widened. “W-Wait, really?”

Luna nodded. “Obviously, it didn’t go far. Me and Celestia have come to the conclusion that they only did it to try and get our attention. Their ruler is only about twenty-five years old and he’s inexperienced. He has no idea what he’s doing, which, unfortunately, ends up causing us unnecessary suffering.” She looked away and scoffed. ”And wastes our time.”

He nodded. “Yeah; I can see how that would be annoying. But I get the feeling the story doesn’t end there?” He questioned.

“You would be right,” Luna exhaled. “A peace treaty is currently being discussed. Why we even need it, I have no idea, but it’s being discussed. Me and Celestia are fighting about who has to go over there to sign it,” she chuckled. “It’ll probably end up being a game of quartz-parchment-shears, but who knows, really?”

“I would guess you, but I’m far past thinking you’re some omnipotent all-knowing being.”

“Oh? You don’t think I’m all-knowing?” She said, teasing right back.

“Nah. I’d say you’re pretty average.” He smirked, and then snickered. “Especially considering you just said you would play Rock Paper Scissors with Celestia to see who gets to sign a treaty!”

“It’s true! We would!”

They both laughed.

…

“Have a good night!”

The door closed behind her.

She sighed.

Not out of sadness, but out of… happiness. Contented-ness.

Was that a word?

She was content.

…Topple had agreed to be her friend.

She was still giddy about that, even after a few hours of talking with him.

She was just so happy. She had an actual friend. She took flight towards the castle, giggling to herself. Her first friend in over a thousand years.

…Granted, she could consider her sister’s student a friend, but really; the two were acquaintances at best. They never bothered speaking outside of when they had to. Twilight never sent her any letters.

…But then again, Luna never sent her any either.

…

…But now?

Now she had an actual friend.

Someone she could say, with confidence, she enjoyed speaking to. Someone she could say she enjoyed spending her time with.

If that wasn’t a friend, then what was it?

After a few more minutes of flying, she softly landed on her balcony.

She opened the sliding glass door and stepped inside her bedroom.

She looked around, before frowning.

As usual, nothing had moved. Nothing had changed. Nopony had torn the room up looking for her.

…She wouldn’t like that if it happened, but it would be nice to know somepony cared.

She shook her head. Enough with the pity-party. She wasn’t five years old.

She was two-thousand and five.

Big difference.

Chuckling softly to herself, she climbed into bed. She would check on the dream realm and then head to sleep. That was her usual routine.

Her eyes slowly closed as she activated the dream-walking spell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She watched as the dream bubbles flew around her. Various ponies of different ages, sizes, genders, all being seen by her spell.

She tried to see if she could sense any nightmares.

…

Nothing.

The ponies were going to be waking up soon anyway. Most ponies having nightmares had probably already been awoken by them, and then simply fell back asleep for better dreams. 1-3:00 AM were good times to check for nightmares for this reason. 5:30 AM, not so much.

She sighed.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, my subjects.” She spoke to nopony. “But I bet you’ll be happy to know: I was spending time with a new friend.” She smiled.

…

Nopony could hear what she was saying, but she felt like saying it anyway. It was something she found herself doing on occasion. Talking to the dream realm.

But this time was different.

Despite having visited Topple twice before, she hadn’t considered him a friend until tonight.

-Well, more like, she was worried if he wanted to be friends with her.

But shh!!

“He’s nice, my subjects. Don’t worry for your favorite Princess.” She snickered.

…

“Ah, forget you.” She muttered, waving a hoof in a dismissive, yet joking, manner.

…She then found herself wondering what Topple was dreaming about.

She always seemed to miss him when he was dreaming.

Well, no more!

She used her spell to try and… ‘feel out’ Topple. It’s like… trying to sense nightmares, but much more concentrated.

The dream-walking spell had been advanced to the point of ultimate convenience. If she knew of somepony having nightmares, she wouldn’t have to sort through thousands of dream bubbles to find them. She could just feel them out. It was useful for repeat offenders.

She kept feeling around. Noo…

Nope…

Wait.

…

Huh?

…

Topple wasn’t dreaming.

He was asleep, that she could sense; but he wasn’t dreaming.

“Hm.” She muttered. “Guess I’ll have to check at a later date.”

She shrugged, and then turned off her dream-walking spell.

Her eyes slowly opened to her bedroom. It was dark. Only a few minutes had passed.

She rolled over in her bed, and tried to get actual sleep.

It was way past her bedtime.

Author's Note

I promise not every chapter is going to be “haha goofing off in pizza restaurant”. Actual stuff will happen. I believe this is the last of the starter chapters, actually.

Let me know of any errors. I’m in a little bit of a hurry rn, considering my shift starts in 2 mins and I’m typing this in the break room lol. Hopefully there’s no errors regarding the story itself… I’m actually liking how it’s all turning out so far

(Don’t get me wrong tho. Chapter itself wasn’t rushed. I just usually like to go through in the “show preview” mode to check for formatting issues. Grammar and pacing should be okay lol)

But uhh, yeah. Thanks for reading! Don’t be afraid to comment! Don’t be a stranger!

I’m Only Waiting For Death.

A stallion sighed as he walked through Canterlot’s marketplace, his hooves hot on the warm stone, his mane matted against his head. Which was strange in its own right. It wasn’t a hot day, in fact the day was actually… very beautiful. His hooves shouldn’t be suffering that much, and he shouldn’t be that sweaty!

Topple had just forgotten his good shoes at home.

…and he could’ve worn a hat, he guessed.

Speaking of Topple, birds chirped, the wind blew cold, and Celestia’s beautiful sun shone brightly.

…Yet he couldn’t help but feel down.

Why?

Well, the reason he felt down was quite the obvious one. At least, obvious to him.

He was living it, after all.

“I’m broke,” He thought to himself, staring longingly at a jar of jam. The sign next to the jar, red text on an off-white piece of paper, read ‘6’.

It was a six-bit jar of strawberry jam. Six bits! For a small jar of jam!

It was a scam, he knew that much, but technically; the entirety of Canterlot could be considered a scam. You just had to ask the right ponies.

And Topple… well, he considered himself one of these ponies.

He was a working class earth pony in Canterlot. He knew all about the pricing of things. He knew how much he made. How much COULD be made.

Upon doing his calculations, though, he found he was:

-doomed from the start-

He chuckled at his joke, trying to ignore the painful truth behind it. Being an earth pony in canterlot was like being a yak in Cloudsdale.

You just didn’t belong.

He shook his head as he continued walking through the market, looking down at his list occasionally. He knew what was on it, but he still found himself looking down, almost as if he was hoping more things would be added when he looked. Like checking the pantry again and hoping there’s more food inside.

His list was small, and it was only stuff he could afford. Which he absolutely hated. It made him feel broke.

”You are broke, dipshit,” He thought to himself.

He frowned, and checked the list again.

+Celery+
+Peanut Butter+

…he hated that feeling.

That feeling of having to only buy things to survive. Not to enjoy them, but just so you get something in your stomach.

It was the worst.

…But it was his life.

He snorted and walked up to a celery stand. The snobbish looking unicorn at the stand seemed to instinctually turn his nose up as Topple approached.

A classic Canterlot pony move.

…The stand itself was nothing special, despite the stallion’s appearance. Black text on a white background didn’t really say ‘Canterlot’s finest’, so Topple presumed that maybe it wasn’t his. Maybe he stole it, or he really is just that boring. It could be anything. But frankly, Topple didn’t really care enough to ask the guy.

Despite the plain appearance of the stand, however, there was no pricing shown, which meant one thing:

The stallion at the stand was going to be a total donkey and price gouge with whoever he saw fit.

Topple grumbled, but quietly, so that the snob didn’t pick up on it. He then opened his mouth. “How much?”

The unicorn eyed Topple, and then snorted. “Five bits.”

Topple gawked at him.

That was… reasonable.

No racism? No snobbishness? No ‘25 bits for being an earth pony’?

Maybe it really wasn’t his stand…

Topple removed five bits from his coin purse and traded it for a… stalk. Bushel? of celery. A thing of celery.

He put it in his left-hoof saddle bag and continued on his way.

“Huh.” He muttered. “That was easier than I thought.”

He had the peanut butter and he had the celery. He was done shopping.

His mood had begun to improve slightly. He hadn’t spent that much money, that stallion gave him a good price, the weather was still nice…

Hey, that rhymed!

He continued walking, a smile beginning to form.

But then he stopped.

And he stared.

…And his mood instantly shifted.

It was that mare. The one who owned the business down the street;

The one who was stealing all of his business.

He burned a hole in the back of her head with his gaze.

He was furious.

Furious and… jealous.

He stopped.

…He was jealous.

He shook his head,

He turned around,

And he walked away.

“Being jealous only hurts ponies.” He muttered. “It doesn’t help them.”

He knew better than to be jealous over something stupid like that.

His parents raised him to be above ponies like that.

…so why did he still feel so envious of their success?

It wasn’t a good feeling. But he couldn’t help it.

His restaurant was failing and theirs was thriving.

…What was he doing wrong?

He sighed and continued walking. His restaurant was only a little further. After that, he could think all he wanted as he tried to get some sleep. That’s usually how his brain did it. He was tired all day until he actually lied down.

Funny how the pony body works sometimes.

He walked up on his restaurant, and stared at the front of it. Going over every detail.

The red logo, faded after all these years of use, yet still functioning, proudly showed the name: Topper’s Pizza. The windows on the front, clean from a recent wipe-down, showed the interior of the restaurant. The lights were off, but the windows were still able to give you a look inside.

The four-star rating on the outside of his restaurant sat there proudly, but he noticed that not many other restaurants had it, instead opting for a design of three horseshoes.

He didn’t know what it meant, but those restaurants were doing better than him. Maybe he should switch the stars out for shoes.

But other than that, his restaurant was in good condition. The building was REALLY OLD, as he’s said in the past, but shouldn’t that make ponies more drawn to it than anything? Ponies love that ‘nostalgia’ crap.

So why wasn’t he getting any bucking customers?

He huffed, and unlocked his door. No point thinking about it out in the sun. The door swung wide as he stepped inside. Navigating through the dark was going to be easier this time because of the sunlight coming in through the windows.

After a few moments of stumbling around, he walked up his steps and unlocked his house.

…home.

A rather dingy place, he’s begun to notice.

His family had always seemingly struggled with money, and as he grew up and became more cynical, he noticed the state of things. How most of his stuff was more based on sentimental value than anything.

He was appreciative for his stuff, of course, but he couldn’t help but think about if it was acquired at a yard sale or not.

He frowned and took off his saddle bags, placing them on the dining room table soon after. He put his celery in the ice box and left the peanut butter out. He didn’t need to put that away yet. It was just gonna go into the pantry anyway.

He rubbed his eyes, and yawned.

He needed a nap.

Running a hoof through his mane, he walked over to his couch. Most likely a couch taken off the street. One that had a ‘FREE’ sign on it.

The couch was comfy enough, though.

Lying down, he figured he could try and get some sleep.

…Which he did.

He really must’ve been tired.

He didn’t dream.

He never dreamed.

Not since his parents died and he acquired this stupid restaurant.

Topple woke up a few hours later.

…He didn’t feel rested.

Not at all.

He had a metallic taste in his mouth, and he found himself more tired than he was before.

He hadn’t dreamed and he hadn’t gotten rest.

As usual.

He sighed, and looked at the clock on the wall.

He had to open up in a few hours.

…Open up for nopony.

The room, dark from the windows being covered, felt imposing. It wasn’t relaxing as it should’ve been.

She wanted to sleep. She just couldn’t.

She kept tossing and turning in her bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Tossing and turning literally.

After accidentally hitting her horn on the bed frame, she stopped moving as she let the pain run its course. Lord, that hurt.

Hitting a unicorn horn was like sending an entire electric shock through their body. It was like hitting your funny bone but worse.

…

Princess Luna couldn’t sleep.

She couldn’t sleep for a variety of reasons.

Things like:

The Zebricon treaty,

One of her butlers ACTUALLY getting hurt,

And Topple.

Heh. Topple.

Topple, Topple.

She sighed. She was losing sleep over a stallion.

…Upon realizing what she had thought, she blushed slightly. That sounded like she had a crush on him.

She chuckled at the idea.

Her and Topple?

Maybe in another universe.

…anyway.

She had been worried about Topple.

And that was for one reason.

Every time she checked the dream realm, she couldn’t find his dream bubble. And it wasn’t a matter of her ‘missing it’. She could search for dreams. She just… couldn’t find his.

He didn’t have a dream bubble. Which meant that he wasn’t dreaming.

…which could mean a few different things.

He could just not dream. However, this is unlikely. No pony had ever just not dreamt. Even Luna dreamt. It was a little rare, but she did dream. Another likelihood, though, is that his body isn’t allowing him to dream. As a defense mechanism.

Not dreaming as a defense mechanism. She’s done research on it before. If the body is under enough stress, the body will stop allowing you to dream, as it fears it can cause irreversible damage. It’s why ponies don’t often die of heart attacks from dreams they have.

…but while this is the more likely option, it’s also one of the worst.

Topple was under so much stress that his body feared he could have a heart attack and die in his dreams.

And that was what was keeping her up.

She knew what was causing the stress, of course. She wasn’t an idiot. It was the lack of customers. The thing she wasn’t allowed to mention around him. She forbade herself.

She had only ever been around during the night, so she obviously can’t get that hint from her visits, but she’s checked up on it during the day; when she got the chance. She had wanted to confirm her suspicion. Why Topple actually got upset at the mention of no customers.

So when she flew by his restaurant and saw the lights on, the doors open,

Yet no customers?

…Her heart had hurt for Topple.

Her heart continued to hurt for Topple.

So young yet struggling so hard.

“Oh Topple.” She whispered. “How I wish I could do more.”

…

You can do more.

No she couldn’t.

…

Whatever you say...

Shaking her head, Luna mushed a pillow into her face and groaned.

She was never getting to sleep, was she?

Author's Note

sorry for such a short weenie baby chapter. the outline was short for this one, so I did what I could. It’s just not a very big section of story to tell.

I hope you liked it anyway. I think it’s aight.

Thanks for reading! Don’t be a stranger!

Shedding Tears Time to Time, Seems I’ll Never Forget

“Get the hell outta my restaurant!” Topple yelled.

Oh goodie. He was yelling at a customer. That was a great business model, no?

Well, the bastard deserves it.

At least that’s what Topple was telling himself.

The stallion (the one being yelled at) turned his nose up and huffed. “Suit yourself. I shall take my leave.”

He stood up from a table, and turned towards Topple. “This disastrous parlor could never have held up to my taste anyway.”

The stallion walked off, and Topple was fuming. The door opened and closed. Topple resisted throwing his pizza slicer at the glass door. He was absolutely furious.

Who did that stallion think he was? A Demi-God?

And why was he so rude? All Topple did was ask what that guy wanted to order. Respectfully, he might add.

The stallion just laughed at him for being an earth pony. Even called him a “backwater hick”. Who does that? Walks into someone’s restaurant and calls them a hick to their face.

Canterlot Nobles, man…

“Your tastes?” He grumbled, walking into the kitchen, ignoring the sound of the doors opening once more. He was too upset to care. He dropped his slicer into the sink. “Taste this friggin’ dick!”

“Topple?!” A familiar voice yelled out.

He stopped. He turned.

That.. that was…

His heart dropped.

There she was.

“P-P-Princess!” He yelled. Less in a ‘hello’ way and more in a ‘HOLY CRAP I JUST TOLD THE PRINCESS TO SMD’ way.

Crap. Crap.

What an entertaining situation, to an outside viewer.

However, to Topple, it was a death sentence.

Luna would never want to see him again. She would send him to the darkest dungeon. No, to the moon!

He had to apologize!

He ran out of the double doors and over to a blushing Luna. Skidding to a stop, he bowed.

“I am so sorry! That was not directed to you!” He yelled, bowing repeatedly. “I was angry! I didn’t realize you had walked in! I’m so sorry!”

…

“T-Top-“ she coughed. She cleared her head. “Topple, it’s quite alright.” She said reassuringly.

“If you want to send me to the moon I comple- what?” He stopped on a dime. “It’s alright?” He questioned.

Wha? He could’ve sworn he committed some kind of heinous crime by swearing in front of a Princess. Yet swearing AT a Princess? That was a death charge and two-thousand years in the slammer.

She smiled softly. “Of course it’s alright, you oaf. I’m able to distinguish between an accident and genuine maliciousness.”

She put her hoof on his chin and brought his head up. He followed with her hoof, up until he was back to standing normally.

“You have nothing to worry about, dear Topple.” She smiled at him, quelling his nerves.

He chuckled nervously. “S-Sorry, anyway. You shouldn’t have had to hear me use such language.” He shuffled.

“It’s no problem.” She chuckled. “I don’t mind, really. Plus; there’s some good to have come out of this.”

“What’s that?” He asked, feeling light. But also confused.

“You finally made me blush. After me making you blush so many times, you turned it around on me.” She chuckled, and bowed herself. “Consider that an accomplishment.” She said… somewhat seductively?

The restaurant was quiet for a moment.

Did. Is that.

Did she flirt with him just then?

Topple’s brain ceased functioning.

The silence continued as Luna watched him go through several stages and feelings of grief.

She couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Bwahaha!” Luna laughed, watching as Topple’s face heated up infinitely more than what she had just experienced. This was great. She got him good. “Oh, Topple, I’m just teasing!” She laughed.

…Her blush said otherwise.

“J-Just teasing.” He sighed, shaking his head, and then laughing. “Right. Sorry. I don’t know what happened just then.”

He did. And so did she.

Neither of them admitted it to themselves, though.

“Neither do I, dear Topple.” She pat him on the shoulder. “We can be confused together.”

They both laughed, and then settled into silence.

…

“So, did you want a pizza for… lunch? dinner? or something?” Topple asked, bluntly so. “You don’t normally visit during the day.”

He was right. She didn’t normally visit during the afternoon.

“Straight to the point, I see.” She muttered. “That’s an astute observation, Topple.” She nodded.

“I’m just restless, is all.” She explained.

“Restless?” He chewed the inside of his cheek. “Restless why?”

You, me, Zebricon, the press,

“Not sure.” She smiled. A little too widely.

Topple eyed her curiously.

“If you say so.” He said, shrugging.

He couldn’t tell she was lying. He wasn’t really good at reading ponies.

When they say ‘stallions are dense’, it’s not exactly a joke.

She took a seat at her usual booth. “Anyway, enough about me.” She muttered. “How are you, Topple?”

Stressed about bills, stressed about work, angry at everything, stressed abo

“I’m doin’ just fine.” He smiled, shrugging again. Nervously.

Luna was not stupid.

“Are you sure, Topple?” She pushed.

She probably shouldn’t have. But at this point, she just wanted to make sure he knew she cared.

“Positive.” He doubled-down. Not good.

“Because if the restaurant is-“

“Um.” He interrupted. She blinked in surprise. “I’m.. alright. Really. Can we move on?”

…He was more begging than angry or upset.

Luna’s heart ached.

She had to stop.

She didn’t want to, but she had to.

“Of course, Topple.” She sighed.

…It hurt to see him like this.

In the grand scheme, she’d only known him about a month, but she felt attached to the young stallion. He was nice. He was a good conversationalist. He was fun to tease. He was cute. He was a hard worker. He was a good friend, and didn’t treat her differently because she was a Princess.

…well, that’s not true. He did.

But knowing him he would get down on his knees and apologize to ANY girl he mistakenly disrespected. He just… was that kind of stallion.

And she appreciated that about him.

“A-Anyway.” She said, shaking her head. “Why did you yell when I first walked in?”

“Oh, that?” He snorted.

She guessed she was in for a ride.

Luna called it quits after a few hours, as did he. She was feeling mighty tired and he was alright with her going back to the castle to catch up on sleep.

He wasn’t really that happy about it, but he wasn’t just going to deny her. He can’t, even if he wanted to.

…Which he didn’t. But his point still stands. He couldn’t have done it. Princess, and all that.

-But he was upset because now he was all alone again.

He had yelled at his only customer of the day, which, while not a good look; ended up with said customer leaving prematurely. Two bad things happened out of one situation. It was like some kind of stupid deal at Costco.

Or something.

He sighed, and ruffled his own hair.

It was getting long. He should probably cut it soon.

Cut it. Get a haircut.

…With what money?

Argh.

He sat down at a different table, and put his head down. He put two hooves around it and closed his eyes.

He was in prime napping position.

Might as well. Nopony is coming in here anyway.

He slowly fell to sleep.

…

His mind was foggy. Having woken up a few hours later, he stretched, but not before soothing his aching head.

He always got headaches after he napped. It was just how it was. Same with the ‘no dreams’ thing. At this point, it was the new norm.

He continued stretching.

…and…

No back pop.

That’s bad luck!

He shook his head and got out of the chair. He needed to work. He needed to do things. Closing time was still a ways-away.

He would just have to tough it out, it seemed.

He sighed.

This blows.

After trudging through the rest of the day, Topple sat at his kitchen table, staring at an unopened envelope. The dim lightbulb above him served as his only light source, given he didn’t want to waste electricity.

It probably wouldn’t help the bill, but he did what he could.

…

He poked it.

Well, there it is.

‘The bill’.

It was quite ingenious, on the technical side of things. Princess Celestia had made it law for all of a pony’s monthly expenses to be condensed into one big bill. Water, gas, electricity, rent. If you owned your house, rent wasn’t applied. If you owned a restaurant, restaurant bills were applied. Et cetera.

It made it much easier to pay off when it was just one payment.

However.

That didn’t mean it was easily affordable.

And he was stalling. Definitely stalling.

Can you blame him?

He could go broke here soon. This bill could be the catalyst that causes the end of his short life. Whether that be from starvation or random attacks while living on the street.

…

He was still stalling.

He sighed. “Nut up or shut up. Nut up or shut up.” He repeated the mantra, tearing open the envelope.

The bill rolled out, and he stared incredulously at the red numbers.

They were bigger than last time.

…And he…

…couldn’t afford it.

Not at the current amount of money he had, anyway.

He had a few days to raise his metaphorical and physical ‘dough’ some more, but would it be enough?

He doubted it.

No customers. Ever. That means no money. Which means no bills.

Which means no restaurant.

…He rubbed his forehead.

Stressful situations always gave him a headache.

He had no customers.

What could he do?

…

He could ask Luna for-

He slapped himself in the face.

He would die first before asking Luna for money.

He wasn’t that kind of pony.

He didn’t want to be a beggar.

…he let his eyes stop rolling around his head and considered his options again.

He could…

…Advertise?

He could advertise!

He doesn’t do that often, he could-

Wait, no, crap. He would have to be involved in it. Handing out fliers, spinning signs. Pasting up fliers throughout the city is considered graffiti.

…But, see, if he’s involved, who’s running the restaurant?

This is the fatal flaw in that plan.

Wait.

Luna. Back to Luna.

He could ask her… for an exception? A thing that lets him post up fliers. A Royal pardon.

She would understand. Right?

….it was definitely running the lines of power abuse. Favoritism, too.

…but what other option did he have?

He was all ears for other solutions. But given he couldn’t think of anything, and he still didn’t have friends, this was the best option.

He nutted up, and pulled over a blank piece of paper.

Dear Princess Luna…

Luna read. It was a letter from Topple. Something about setting up a night court appointment.

So he wasn’t lying…

She smiled. Of course she could set up the appointment. It wasn’t like she was doing anything else during that time-frame.

…It made her sad to admit that, but she had to face the truth one of these days.

She sighed. Forget it. Topple wants to visit. She’ll get to assist somepony.

That’s all she can ask for.

She wrote a reply, sent it off, and leaned back in her chair. Well, throne.

Not a big difference, but they’re different enough.

She sighed.

She wondered what he wanted to talk about on their court date.

-date?!

Court date!

Her court… date.

The date of the court.

Yes.

The date the friends have a court appointment.

Friends. They’re friends.

If they were to go on a ‘date’, it would be as friends.

Friends.

Yeah.

No date. No romance date.

She doesn’t like him like that.

…Plus, the stallion probably isn’t doing so well. A “””date””” isn’t what he needs.

She shook her head.

Urgh.

And she… has not known him long enough to feel any sort of way about him.

Other than friendship.

She sighed contentedly.

She was glad she had a friend.

…

…She looked longingly at the letter he had written.

She had a friend.

She just wished he would talk to her.

Author's Note

Sorry for a couple things.

Sorry this took so long. School is starting up again (literally tomorrow lol) so I’ve been worrying about that, along with some other bull. Just been putting this off, is all.

Sorry if this seems… jokier than usual? I edited out some comedic stuff in post but if I missed something unintentional, then, Well. That sucks. But ive been reading a comedy based story for a while and it’s kinda messing with me a bit for the story to not have jokes every 3 seconds. But that doesn’t WORK here. You know? Uphill battle

This will seem slightly unrelated and a little targeted but if you’ve dmed me in an attempt to be friendly and to chat it up, I’m not ignoring you out of malice. I just don’t feel comfortable with that stuff. That goes for you guys too. I will respond to questions and the like but friendly messages I’ll read, appreciate, and move on from. It’s just. Last time I got into a back and forth with someone on here it ended up real bad so I just try to avoid that stuff. It’s nothing personal and I’m not some schizo

That’s everything? I think?

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. More establishing stuff is always nice. Said no one ever. Lol

Thanks for reading. Don’t be a stranger!

Little Thought in My Head, Fiction Finds Happiness

Topple stared at the off-white piece of parchment in his hooves.

”Of course we can have a night court appointment, Topple.” He read.

He nodded. Good. He would be able to talk to her about his advertising, which he labeled as ‘step one’ in his head. Step two was making the fliers, step three was hanging them up; so-on and so-forth.

How many steps there were going to be, eh. He shrugged to himself. He could worry later. Which was definitely NOT something he had been saying to himself for multiple days now.

Of course not.

Setting the parchment down on his dining room table, he stretched. His limbs cracked and popped, finally being free from their locked positions. He groaned, feeling pleasure from the action.

Shaking his body, as if he were a dog trying to dry off, he situated himself on this plane of existence.

He needed to head to work. Opening time was coming, and it was coming soon.

“Doubtful anypony’s gonna bucking show up…” he muttered, a hint of a growl in the back of his throat.

He was still bitter about that.

Who wouldn’t be, he justified to himself. No business, life feels like it’s going nowhere??

Anypony else would’ve given up.

But not him!

For some reason.

He dispelled the thoughts from his head, grabbed his apron, dusted it off, resisted the urge to burn it, and then put it around his neck. The old material scratched against his fur and irritated his skin.

Adjusting it didn’t fix the issue. He just had to deal with it.

As with most things in his life.

”Hang on tight, we’ll push the speed of light…” He sang quietly as he walked down the steps that led to the dead-end hellhole of a responsibility he didn’t want.

I mean restaurant.

He meant restaurant.

What?

He shook his head and pushed open the door, the creaky hinges and faded paint showcasing its age.

…And there it is.

Topper’s Pizza.

In all its glory.

He pursed his lips and flipped on the light switches, them being only a little bit away from the door. The lights turned on sequentially, bathing the room in an iridescent, yellowish, yet… oddly nostalgic glow.

…He did grow up here, after all.

After that thought, he walked up to the front door and unlocked it, ending his morning routine.

He doubted the doors being locked would change the amount of customers that walked in, but hey!

Who was he if not logical.

…

He considered himself.

…He was being very negative today.

No wonder he’s not getting customers.

He’s bad karma!

Frowning, he knocked twice on a wooden table nearby.

He didn’t know what it would do, but he hoped it would help negate the karma.

A few seconds went by after he did so.

And then a few more.

He backed up from the door.

A few more seconds.

He didn’t know what he was doing, but-

!

A pony!

She was walking towards the door!

She was heading his way!

He tried to contain his excitement. He didn’t want to scare her off. He backed way up off of the door, and watched from behind a table near the kitchen.

Here she comes…

Ring!

“H-Hello?” The pony asked, having instantly seen Topple. Hiding.

Behind a table.

“H-Hey! How can I help you?” He asked, jumping out from his hiding spot and putting on his best customer service voice.

Forget the bad mood. This was amazing.

“Hey! Are you the owner of this pizza shop?” She asked, responding kindly to his customer service. Score.

“Sure am!” He nodded. “Phil Colli- I mean Knead Top, at your service!”

He was a little nervous.

The true meaning of his name went right over her head. “Oh, good!” She said, seemingly in relief. As far as he was aware this was her first time coming in. “I read about the Princess spending money at a pizza restaurant,”

He raised an imaginary eyebrow.

“And,” she continued, “Upon working some night shifts around here and seeing her come in a few times, I put two and two together.” She smiled.

Topple’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

…She read about Luna spending money here.

Was Luna… advertising for him?

Writing reviews?

He felt hopeful.

“So, like, does the Princess come in on personal business, or is the pizza just that good?” She asked, interrupting his thought process. She was still smiling.

His brain short-circuited. “Uh, erm, it’s- its just that good!” He coughed.

He hoped she didn’t think he was lying.

“Oh, wonderful!”

Hook line and sinker.

“In that case, can I get some grub?” She asked, seemingly more relaxed than before. Her eyelids had lowered.

He nodded, and told her to take a seat where she liked.

And while he went to get her a menu, he considered her words again.

Luna had either advertised, or it was leaked.

Either way; he gets customers!

He can’t be angry.

If anything, it would be weird to be bitter today.

”Hang on tight, we’ll boogie out of sight..” He sang; this time, less depressed sounding.

In fact, one could even say he was happy.

Toppleicious practically danced as he locked up the restaurant that night.

He hadn’t sat down with that customer or anything, but she complimented the pizza and the restaurant as she ate. Said it was tasty, and the atmosphere was nice. Said she didn’t like how stuck-up Canterlot restaurants were.

…She left a pretty good tip, too.

But that’s less important.

By all intents and purposes, she was an incredible customer. He hadn’t gotten any others after her, but that’s okay. Other ponies are going to put things together like she did. He’ll get customers. It’ll happen. It’s inevitable.

Especially if Luna keeps coming by.

He smiled.

He grinned.

He laughed.

He walked up the steps to his house and unlocked his door. Walking inside, he stared at the bill on his table.

He smirked at it, and walked right by.

Vile thing, that bill.

“But you know what?” He said, conviction present in his tone as he threw off his apron. It landed unceremoniously on his bed.

“I don’t care.” He muttered.

He laughed.

“I’ll defeat you, government!” He yelled, slamming a hoof on his dresser.

!!It creaked!!

Loudly!!

“Ah!!” He yelled, backing up.

It was gonna explode!

…he waited a few seconds.

…thank Celestia, it didn’t explode.

It was just really, really old.

He was silent for a few more seconds.

“I should treat my things better.” He muttered.

Oh well.

He smiled.

He got a customer.

Things were looking up for dear old Topple.

Author's Note

guuuj

obey the groove

I Have Tried Letting Go, Something’s Holding Me Down, Must Be Tied to My Wrist..

Topple shifted in his bed, feeling consciousness return to him.

No dream, yet again.

And he just felt pissed off.

He barely got any sleep, dream or no dream.

Why?

Shit, he didn’t know!

What a good start to the day!

The good mood he had yesterday felt like but a fleeting memory. Frankly, he didn’t know why he woke up so mad. Maybe the reality just set in, or something saddening like that.

The reality that even if he got more customers, that bill would probably still be missed. Which sucked.

He was stuck between a sock and a hard cock.

What the hell kind of metaphor is that?

That’s not a metaphor.

He growled.

Today is gonna SUCK!

Why does it all suck?

Everything sucks.

He left his bedroom, slamming the door on the way out.

“Stupid bucking bill.” He said, walking to the bathroom.

He threw the door open, grabbed his tooth brush, and roughly brushed his teeth.

He forgot the toothpaste.

He applied the toothpaste.

He continued brushing.

His gums probably bled.

He didn’t find himself caring.

He spit in the sink, washed his brush, and put it back in the holder.

What a drag.

He walked out of his bathroom, didn’t bother checking the time, and threw on his apron.

He didn’t care for breakfast. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

He frowned as he walked downstairs.

He threw open the old door, walked to the entrance, unlocked it, and walked back to the kitchen. When he swung the double doors wide, he took notice of the calendar on the wall.

Cats.

Adorable!

But, wait.

The date.

Today was the day he scheduled that night court appointment!

How could he forget!

He felt his anger fade slightly.

He can’t be this angry when he talks to Luna in…

…fourteen hours.

He just can’t be. She would banish him to the moon.

Though, he would probably do that himself.

He couldn’t imagine being angry with Luna. Sure, she was a tease, but she was always nice to him. The teasing was friendly. She never intentionally hurt his feelings or anything.

And he didn’t ever want to hurt hers. Unintentionally or intentionally.

It just felt… wrong.

Like the world would end if he did such a thing.

His anger waned more.

He sighed. He could use a glass of water, or something.

Getting said glass, he took it out to the main parlor. It was nice outside. Might as well try to relax.

He sat down, and took a sip of water.

It was nice. Cold. Crisp. Refreshing.

He moved the glass slightly, and rested his head down.

He needed to clear it.

Talk about a mood swing and a half…

He felt his stomach rumble.

‘I don’t care for breakfast’ my flank…

As he thought about it, his head felt heavier.

His world felt lighter.

…

He blinked slowly.

He raised his head.

He felt…

Fine.

He felt fine.

He didn’t feel angry.

Not anymore, at least.

He smiled.

Good.

Now. When is that night court appointment again?

He racked his brain for the answer. It was late, but not too late.

…9:00?

Right?

Yeah..

What time is it…

He looked at the clock.

8:47

SHIIT! HOW LONG WAS HE ASLEEP FOR??

He jumped up off the chair.

Not even taking off his apron, he shoulder checked the front door. It swung open and he ran out into the night. Nopony will rob the place anyway. It’ll be fine

He just had to get to the castle.

As he ran down the streets of canterlot, he picked up the speed. The moon had already been raised.

He couldn’t be late. He couldn’t let her think he stood her up.

. Not like that.

Just. Like.

His cheeks felt hot.

…Whether or not it was from the running, or something else, he would never admit it.

Topple ran through the imposing hallways, not bothering to admire the plaques and murals and paintings decorating the… otherwise, plain, walls of the castle.

He was almost there.

Well, he hoped.

He was just following some arrows and the small map near the entrance to the place. He saw it a few minutes ago; he hoped he memorized it well enough.

Just a right here….

And….

The doors to the throne room slammed open.

“Ahh!” Luna yelled, charging a spell out of instinct.

It blasted off, striking the spot right next to the throne room door.

And it, subsequently, sent Topple sprawling out onto the hard marble floor.

He breathed heavily. Celestia. That was close…

The guards nearby raised their spears in defense. He had run in unannounced, after all. He didn’t blame them for getting defensive.

If he saw some random pony in an apron shoulder check his door open and then dodge a magic spell, he would be pretty worried too.

“Topple!” Luna yelled, standing up after realizing who she had fired at. She tried to move forward, but she was blocked by a guard.

“Rickets, stop. I know him.” She stated, looking over at the aforementioned guard.

He shrugged, and lowered his spear. “Alright, Princess.”

Topple assumed he knew her well.

Luna thanked him, and then she took notice of the…

situation.

Every guard looked ready to kill Topple.

“Guards, no. He’s a friend!” She yelled, loud enough for all of them to hear.

They turned to her incredulously.

“I was startled, is all. He has an appointment with me.” She explained.

Jeez. Her guards sometimes. Such worrywarts.

…

The guards nodded, and lowered their weapons.

“Oh thank Cel-“ Topple started.

Luna gave him the stink eye.

“…thank Luna.” He muttered, and laughed nervously.

Luna laughed genuinely.

“Come on, Topple. Get up.” She said, and picked him up with her magic. “Let’s discuss.”

He nodded, and walked towards her.

…

After a few minutes, Topple had stated his request.

Luna, surprisingly, agreed.

Topple liked to think it was unsurprising, but, frankly; he was lucky.

“I will order my guards, and all royal nobles and guardsmen, not to tear down any fliers. Is this acceptable?” She asked, trying to remain professional.

She was a professional, of course. But it was hard to be professional with Topple.

Knead Top.

She giggled.

But she covered her mouth quickly after.

“Sure, that’s… good.” He hesitated.

Because she laughed.

He thought that was weird.

“I was laughing at something else,” she explained, noticing his odd expression.

His eyes brightened. “Oh, okay. You agree though?”

“I do.” She nodded.

He smiled. “Sweet!”

She nodded, and giggled again. “It is quite sweet of me.”

They both smiled.

“I shall visit your restaurant tomorrow, Mr. Top.”

…Auuuugh.

Mr. Top was his father.

And his grandfather.

And his great grandfather.

…Man.

This is a really old name.

“However.” Her tone became sharp, interrupting his thought process.

He instantly straightened.

“If you’re requesting this for the reason I think you are…”

…

There was a silence.

“And what would that be..?” He asked.

She hesitated. She seemed to be trying to think of what to say.

“Are you losing business, my friend?” She asked, genuine sympathy present in her voice.

…He mulled that over.

Yes.

He is.

He’s losing so much business.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He can’t sleep. He doesn

“No.” He muttered, shaking his head. “Things are going fine.”

…Luna stayed silent, staring at the ceiling in contemplation.

She cleared her throat, soon facing him again. “Well, just..” she started. “If things ever go awry, just know that I am here to help.” She said, and smiled warmly. “Not to be cynical, of course. But. Just know there is an opportunity here at the castle. If that need were to ever arise. Dane could use a partner.”

He smiled softly back.

She didn’t believe in him.

Frankly, he didn’t believe in himself.

But at least he had a safety net.

Who was Dane, though?

“Thank you, Princess.”

He decided against asking.

He would probably learn soon enough.

She nodded.

He nodded.

…And court was over.

Luna sat to herself. Topple seemed really upset at court today. Frazzled, stressed. She was still yet to see his dream bubble.

Maybe she should check up on him…

She exhaled, and shook her head.

She wished she could just. Give him the money he needed to pay his bills.

Why can’t you? I’m sure he would appreciate it.

Because. It’s not that simple. Giving money is nice, but there’s a problem with that.

I’m listening.

…She could probably pay one bill. But what about next month? Or the month after that?

It was statistically unlikely that his restaurant would blow up in popularity. Even with the fliers he was using. Which is why she gave him the offer for a job.

Good vote of confidenc-

NOW SHE could afford to keep his restaurant afloat, yes, but…

…

All of the bits she gets are from an allowance from the Royal treasury.

And because of this, those bits are.. documented.

And released to the public.

…She had fought Tia on the issue in the past.

Celestia! What is the meaning of this!

Luna demanded, throwing open the doors to the throne room

“Whatever could you mean, my sister?” Celestia asked, oblivious to the strife of Luna.

Luna shoved a newspaper in Celestia’s face. The headline:

“What has our reinstated Princess been spending her bits on?”

The air of supremacy practically reeked from the paper.

“How do those whelps know of this information?! How do they know of Our spending habits!” She yelled.

“Oh,” Celestia said, reading through the article.

23 BITS - RESTAURANT - DAISY SALAD (x2)
42 BITS - MUSIC STORE - STONE TEMPLE PONIES - PURPLE
12 BITS - RESTAURANT - DAISY SALA

The newspaper was torn away, “STOP READING IT!”

Celestia blushed, and giggled. “Sorry, sister.”

“EXPLAIN!”

Celestia had insisted it was so that her subjects knew they had nothing to hide.

Well what if Luna DID have something to hide?!

Ponies knew she was spending money at a “restaurant” every week. There were already articles in the newspaper about it. She was buying pizzas.

The only question was: what pizza restaurant.

Conveniently (note the sarcasm) the official documents didn’t go into store specifics. They had ‘genres’ of stores, per sei.

Which was just WONDERFUL when she wanted nothing more than for her friend to have more customers.

I’m sure that’s true. Note the sarcasm.

Princess Luna held back the urge to punch herself in the throat.

…She could always advertise for him, but that brought up a different issue.

In the eyes of her subjects, at least, most of them; she was still in danger of becoming…

Her,

Again.

If they saw her talking good about a restaurant, that would only make a lot of ponies wish to ignore it.

It would do more harm than good.

She wasn’t currently the most popular princess. She was already risking a lot by letting Topple advertise himself.

…which is why she used the “royal seal of approval” rather than the “lunar seal of approval” on those papers, hehe…

Keep telling yourself all of that.

She frowned.

…Being a princess had too many bucking politics.

She huffed. Back to the point, those funds could be written off as ordering a pizza. Treating herself after a long week of work.

But… spending BILL money? MAINTENANCE money? Every month around the time when bills are due?

Canterlot would be up in hooves, completely outraged. The obvious favoritism would not be appreciated among the other restaurant owners. As with the advertisement related nonsense.

Luna could offer Topple a job. But that was as far as her favoritism could go.

They were friends, but at the end of the day, these things landed on him. She could tip extra but she can’t support his restaurant.

It just wasn’t a possibility.

She had to choke back a tear.

“Oh, Topple.” She thought. “How We wish We could do more.”

…

You always say that.

but when will you act on it?

she rubbed her head.

it hurt.

Topple walked through the desolate streets of Canterlot, hanging up fliers as he went. The moon shone brilliantly off the cobblestone ground, and the stars served as perfect night lights.

Most ponies were asleep by now.

But not him.

He had to work harder than everpony else.

Not to be a hero. But. Basically.

…For no reason.

He just got stuck with a bad gig.

But what can you do?

He stapled a flier to a power line.

If this doesn’t work…

What then?

He’ll lose the restaurant.

He’ll lose his life.

He’ll lose his home.

He…

…What would he have to live for?

…

Topple had never considered suicide.

And he didn’t want to.

Ever.

He took out another flier and stapled it. This time to a support beam.

…

Suicide isn’t an option.

Never in a million years.

…but..

…

He stapled another flier.

…

…what can one truly do to stop the inevitable?

Author's Note

Average guj moment

Anyway. Take two chapters. First one was short so I didn’t wanna leave you guys wit just that. Figured I’d give more for being gone so long.

Blame work and school. I’m getting my ass kicked over here. Lol

Shoutout Myuu music for giving me motivation for some reason.

(Btw; I noticed some people commenting things that, for example, show up a chapter later, or something. This story is fully outlined, and has been in my notes for a little bit without me editing it. I’m not stealing ideas… I’m not scummy I swear..... Lmao)

Anyway. All hail Princess Luna, obey the groove, retail sucks, don’t be a fool wrap your tool, and,

Don’t be a stranger!

There’s No Fixing Me Now. Please Get Out of My Head, Since You Never Did Show...

Celestia’s sunlight seeped into Topple’s decrepit room through a tear in the curtain. It was barely creeping up on his eyelids.

A few more minutes, or maybe him just shifting slightly, and he’ll be waking up.

Well, don’t tell anypony, but he was already awake.

He just didn’t want to be.

“Talk about a contrast!” He grumbled, moving slightly.

The sun beamed into his eyelids. There it is.

He turned himself over completely and faced his wall, forgetting any fear of the boogieman. Who cares. The boogieman can’t take NOTHING from someone.

He breathed in and out. He didn’t have the energy to sigh. He didn’t even have the energy to feel like sighing.

He didn’t want to get up.

Did he have to get up?

He doesn’t want to get up. Why should he care. That bill is approaching. This restaurant will be gone.

All of it will be gone.

What’s the point anymore?

Luna, sure, but…

How long has it been since he’s seen her?

The date was…

…oh.

It’s the date he and Luna used to originally meet up on.

The schedule got wonky over time, but maybe she would show up. For the hell of it.

Maybe?

…This was all Topple needed to get out of bed and start the day.

…well, this was all Topple needed to WANT to get out of bed.

It still wasn’t an easy task. His sheets were scratchy and his mattress was hard, but damn it all it was comfortable in the mornings.

Ignoring how useful and comfy the bed was, Topple sat up slowly. After pushing the blankets off of himself, he crawled out of bed, feeling absolutely no energy to do so.

Compare this with his anger yesterday, it was almost scary how quickly his feelings had flipped.

But he didn’t care enough to think about all of that.

He needed to open up his dying business.

And he did.

You probably don’t care about how he did it.

He sure didn’t.

But the lights are on. The food is ready to be used.

Here’s to another day in paradise.

It…

He didn’t.

He didn’t understand.

He can’t say he was disappointed. Because he definitely wasn’t surprised.

But. There were no customers.

Even though he was advertising.

What’s the deal?

Maybe it…

His heart sank.

Maybe it was.

He walked out of the store.

He felt he knew what it was. What was wrong.

But upon seeing a light post with no paper on it, his fears were confirmed.

…All of his fliers had been torn down.

He felt even more hopeless.

Who…

Who could do this?

It…

Either a malicious neighbor or a guard that didn’t get the memo… surely…

Either way, the fliers were gone.

And he spent what little grocery money he had on the paper.

That’s.

He took a deep breath.

He really wanted to scream.

Would anyone judge him for screaming?

Probably not.

But they probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

And they would call the cops on him.

And as much as he hates to admit it, he needs this place.

He can’t risk getting evicted before he gets audited!

That’s 1. Embarrassing, and 2. Completely stupid.

And he was neither of those things.

At least, he, uh…

Thought he was bright.

But who knows? A failing restaurant? That’s not exactly something caused by smart decisions.

So who truly knows?

Maybe it was his fault.

Maybe he was bad at business.

There’s no way Canterlot just.. got tired of pizza.

None of it made sense.

It had to be his fault.

Thinking these thoughts, Topple sulked back inside the restaurant.

He closed the door behind him, locking it to make sure nopony could enter while he wallowed.

He felt himself slowly start to care.

But not in a positive way.

…He was running out of time.

Later that night, under Luna’s moon, a blue pony sat studying.

The subject of her studying was Equestrian law. And a normal pony would think that she was studying to get a law degree. Maybe studying to take the bar exam.

But no.

This pony, navy blue, hair sparkly, eyes teal; she was the owner of that moon up in the sky.

Princess Luna.

And she was studying law because… well…

Despite how well she’s become accustomed to the current equestrian landscape, she didn’t exactly know what odd laws were in place. She knew the important ones, but laws from her time, like: ‘don’t wear a sombrero while eating an ice cream cone’ had since been disbanded.

Upon freaking out on a pony for doing something so highly illegal right in front of her, (eating a pickle without gloves on) Tia and her guards figured it would be important for her to brush up on the specifics of everything. She didn’t disagree.

So here she was, reading through all of the laws relating to business.

“Business contracts signed by those under fifteen are not legally binding..” she read aloud. Makes sense.

“Business contracts stay in effect forever, no matter the current landscape. The only way to change the parameters is to do so in front of the court…” she read aloud.

“Business contra-“ she stopped.

She went back.

“Business contracts stay in effect forever, no matter the current landscape?” She questioned.

That’s an… oddly specific law.

And one that kind of sounds.. dangerous.

She knew the laws changed over time. Sometimes laws changed in a measly hundred years. If somepony signed something hundreds of years ago, and now their young have to deal with it, despite it not being relevant anymore; it could be bad news.

…She should inform Topple.

He could benefit from running over his contracts. That building is old. Who knows how-

“Luna?” Celestia called, knocking on Luna’s bedroom door.

Her ears perked up, and she closed her book. “Yes, Tia?”

“May I enter?”

“You may.”

She liked when Tia asked to enter. It was very respectful.

Hold on, don’t forget about-

“What can I do for you?” Luna asked, deciding to ignore whatever it was her schizo thoughts were saying.

It probably wasn’t important anyway.

“I just got a letter from the leader of Zebricon. He’s willing to go through with the peace treaty, but he doesn’t want us to waste any time.” Celestia explained.

“Doesn’t want to waste time? What do you mean?” Luna asked. She figured these things were pretty lax about time.

“Well… His letter was a little disrespectful, but… basically, he asked us to come as soon as possible.” Celestia sighed. “Honestly, I don’t like that pony. The sooner this is over the better.”

Luna nodded. She didn’t like him either.

But… why would Tia tell her all this.

Unless.

“…you want me to go?” Luna asked, skeptical.

“Not necessarily,” Celestia said. “I say we just discuss it.”

…

They stared at each other.

“Quarts parchment shears!” They yelled at the same time.

“Argh!” Luna yelled.

She lost.

“Damn it all to Tartarus.” She muttered.

Celestia giggled.

“Do I have to leave tonight?” Luna asked, resigning her efforts and accepting her fate.

“It would be preferable. Zebricon is quite far, and the Royal chariot can only go so fast.”

Damn it all!

Luna sulked and walked past Celestia. Smacking her lightly as she did.

Celestia chuckled at the display of sore-loser-ness.

Topple sat alone in his dark restaurant.

(Talk about a contrast!)

Why bother anymore.

The bill was due in a day or two. Nopony was coming in. He didn’t have enough money.

He was going to lose the restaurant.

He needed to start thinking of a game plan. What to do when that eventually happened.

But-

The bell rang.

Someone opened his door.

He snapped his head up to face the entrance. A customer maybe?

Maybe it was Luna?

He looked at the clock.

2:30.

She was here early.

“Hello? Is anypony in here?” An accented voice asked. “The door is unlocked, so I figured…”

Or… she wasn’t here at all.

Raising an imaginary eyebrow, he walked back over to the light switch and flipped it on.

The woman flinched and covered her eyes. “Oh!” She exclaimed, getting her hoof back on the ground. “There you are.”

Topple didn’t say anything.

It was…

“Are you the owner of this establishment?” She asked.

“…I am he.” He responded, eyes narrowed.

It’s…

It’s the lady from..

“Oh, good.” She said. “I had a question for you.” She spoke. The accent was already grating on him.

Topple ignored how racist that sounded.

Mostly because, well,

It’s the lady from down the street.

The one.. stealing all of his business.

“Were you the one hanging up the advertisements?”

…no. She didn’t.

“Because you know that’s illegal, right?” She asked, rhetorically.

She was rubbing it in.

“I understand if you didn’t know, but I figured I would save you some of the trouble.” She smiled. “The Royal guard doesn’t really like any of that stuff. So I-“

“Get out.” Topple interrupted.

She recoiled.

“Huh?”

“Get out.” Topple raised his voice.

“Get out of my restaurant!” Topple yelled.

He walked towards her. She didn’t step back.

“Hey, you don’t-!” She said, standing tall, raising her voice.

He raised a hoof.

She flinched again.

…And that was like a slap in the face.

…

He stepped back.

“Please just leave.” He asked.

He had realized what he was going to do.

“But I-“

“Please!”

The lady stayed silent.

And then she left. Without a word.

Topple fell on his haunches after that.

He…

He almost hit a mare.

What was he thinking?

He was seeing red, yes, but..

Hitting a woman?

He…

His father didn’t raise him that way.

…

Topple sat there for what felt like hours.

He knew Luna wasn’t coming tonight.

Whether because she was busy or because she could sense he had almost hit a girl and decided she didn’t want to see him ever again, he didn’t know.

But she wasn’t there.

She wasn’t going to be there.

He was on his own.

…The one night he felt he needed guidance.

It was funny.

All of it was just so funny.

…

After a few more minutes, he stood.

He went up the steps.

He opened his door.

He looked at the bill on the table.

No money.

…

…it was over.

It was all over.

Game over, man.

Game over.

Author's Note

guj

sorry it's late. as usual.

life is busy. life sucks.

hope you liked it.

don’t be a stranger!