Chapter 1: Adjustments

Ch.1 Adjustments

“Earlier I heard you yelling about someone leaving something in your castle. What was it that you were yelling about?” I asked, since I had only been here for a few hours if not a half say at the most.

“Nothing it is truly nothing” Celestia said nervously

I laughed. “oh really? Then how come I clearly heard you yell about someone leaving something in your castle?”

“That is my business” Celestia replied business

“let me put it this way. What did the object in question look like?” I asked her.

“It is nothing that you should know about” Celestia hissed

“I hate to be rude, especially to royalty, but I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are lying to me. If you would tell me what this said thing looks like, I can help you solve your problem.”

“Oh trust me it is nothing” Luna said giggling like a filly

*facepalms* “I’ll just go see for myself then!” I then ran off in the direction I had come from as fast as my legs would carry me

“Touch my cake and i will send you to the moon” Celestia said with venom in her voice

I ran past the cake and out the front entrance to find none other than my truck. “This is weird” I said.

“Oh that i brought it here but the only thing is it runs on sunlight and moonlight” Luna said

I looked at Luna. “Luna, I hate to be rude, but this truck behind me runs on something called diesel fuel”

“You have no clue how well she is at that stuff just trust her on this one she knows what she is doing” Celestia said “Oh and if you touch my cake ITS ON”

“Celestia, I have no intentions of toc-” I was cut off

“That is all i wanted to hear” Celestia said

“Celestia, Luna, I would like to tell you both how I got here if that is ok with you.” I said

“Oh we both know” Celestia said

“Wait i don't know tell me” Luna said

“Ok.” I turned to Luna. “I was working for a major shipping company, United Parcel Service, or UPS for short. I was heading to a warehouse to collect some fragile materials that had just arrived. On my way to the warehouse, I had to cross some railroad tracks. I saw that a car had broken down on the tracks and I heard the sound that a train was coming. I pushed the car out of the way with my truck and I got hit head on with a fully loaded coal train, which killed me instantly.”

“That had to suck” Luna said

“It did suck. I died!” I said

“Oh but some chocolate milk would cheer you up i am sure” Discord said making it rain chocolate milk on my head

I instantly pulled out my 12 gauge shotgun and pointed at Discord. “Discord, you are really getting on my nerves right now”

“Aww come on it was funny” Discord said

“IT WASN’T FUNNY TO ME!” I yelled, and I blasted him with 6 12 gauge slugs and reloaded quickly.

I grabbed Discord by the throat and said, “You REALLY don’t want to piss me off Discord, and for good reason. I will not hesitate to kill you, capiche?”

“Yes drill sergeant” Discord said

I then got off him and turned to Celestia and Luna. “sorry you had to see that. I have a short temper sometimes.” I said

“I thought it was a little funny” Luna said

“I really didn’t think it was funny at all. Now, my parents have to attend what should be my funeral.” I said to them

“Or do they” Discord said

I proceeded to blast Discord with another slug from my shotgun and I flipped him the finger. “Leave me alone Discord. I really don’t have time for your shit.”

“Ok that does hurt” Discord said turning the bullets inside him into candy

I facepalmed

“Try and ignore him” Celestia deadpanned

“I’ll try. That doesn’t mean I’ll shoot him again if I have to.” I said to Celestia

“Trust me i sent him right into the sun one time not kidding i threw him into the sun and he was swimming in the flames” Luna said

I looked at Luna, shocked. “HE SHOULD HAVE DIED!”

“Remember he is a god so he won't die” Celestia said

“he might not die, but I think my sanity is about to die.” I told them.

“Oh really then we can make chocolate rain together” Discord said

I said nothing and got in my truck. “I need to get out of here.” I said, and started the truck with a roar of the 550 hp engine

“Careful now” Luna said

“I will be!” I said and drove off, hoping to get away from Discord before I lost my sanity completely

“You can’t run from me” Discord said popping out of my radio

I unplugged the radio and put on my quiet comfort sound cancelling headphones.

“Awww no fair” Discord said

I paid no heed to Discord and just drove for miles. How many miles, I couldn’t remember.

“I could sit here forever” Discord said

I still ignored him and concentrated on the road ahead. I noticed a small town while driving and thought to myself: ‘I wonder if there is anyone here that understands my language besides Discord ’
“Hello you their” Discord said poking me “You alright there”

“Trying to concentrate Discord. I can’t look at you and drive at the same time!” I said

“Fine then” Discord said

I drove through the small town and to what looked like an apple orchard. I didn’t notice that it was raining outside and the dirt road had become muddy until the tires of my truck slipped and the truck almost slammed straight through a large red barn. “son of a bitch that was close!” I yelled.

“WHAT IN TARNATION” A orange earth pony mare yelled

I froze. “I am so screwed.” I said as I sat back in the seat

“Byebye” Discord said teleporting

I shook my head as the orange pony walked over to my truck as I got out. “Can I help you, Miss?” I said innocently as she walked over to me

“Ya ya’ll can help by telling me what ya where doin ah swear some ponies” The mare yelled

I thought for about 2 seconds then said, “ As you saw from a distance, my vehicle slipped in the mud and almost ran right through your barn.” I then asked, “Who are you by the way?”

“Tha name is AppleJack” she said

I held out a rain soaked hand. “I’m Steel Diamond. Nice to meet you Applejack”

“Ya nice to meet you” AppleJack said glaring at me

“Can I ask why you are mad at me, Applejack?” I asked nervously

“Ya’ll done hit one of my trees” AppleJack

I looked over and to my surprise, I did hit one of her trees. “I’m sorry Applejack. Its kinda hard to control something this large and not hit anything while its sliding in the mud.”

“Well ya’ll better fix it now” AppleJack said

“I’d be glad to, but would you help me? I would greatly appreciate it.” I said

“No ah won't now fix it” AppleJack said

“Ok. I’ll fix it.” I said. Then I walked to the tree that I hit and pushed as hard as I could. After about 5 minutes I managed to get the tree back in the ground. “There you go AppleJack. Its back in the ground.”

“Now would ya like something to drink?” AppleJack asked

“Please.” I said, obviously tired from pushing that tree back into the ground.

“Ok i got ya some apple juice” AppleJack said

“Thanks AppleJack.” I said as I followed her to her house and took off my mud ridden shoes before walking inside

“Ya’ll did not need to wipe yer deformed hooves” AppleJack said

“AppleJack, I always do that before I go into someone else’s house. Also, they are called feet.” I said

“Well it dont matter here i swear my little sister got covered in tree sap and it was everywhere” Applejack chuckled

I chuckled in return. “I thought it best to let the rain clean off my shoes for me.” I said

“Good ita about time Rainbow got ta work over here” AppleJack exclaimed

“It would seem so.” I said. “On my way here, I noticed the ground was very dry.”

“Ya true so where are ya staying” asked AppleJack

“Nowhere right now.” I said and I saw a young pony walking towards me. “Is this your little sister, AppleJack?” I asked

“Probobly doin somthin crazy to get her cutie mark” AppleJack said with a facehoof

“Well, you gotta admit, some things kids do are crazy.” I said, and I noticed the young pony looking at me.

“Whats that apposta mean” The small yellow earth pony said to me

I looked at her and said, “I have no idea.”

“Thats what ah though i swear someponies you can be jerks” AppleBoom said with a huff

I looked at her from my sitting position and rolled my eyes

“She grows on ya after a while” AppleJack said

“she’ll grow on me eventually.” I said.

“Ya she has a little temper” AppleJack deadpanned

“Trust me AppleJack, this wasn’t as bad as my temper when I was in highschool.” I said, not wanting to remember those four years

“Ya now both of ya wash up fer dinner” AppleJack instructed

“Ok. I’ll be done in about 2 minutes.” I said and stood. I then walked to the kitchen and washed my hands

“Wait where is yer cutie mark?” Asked AppleBloom

“I don’t have one.” I said

“Wait so you don't have a cutie mark either” AppleBloom asked again

“I don’t have one. Where I come from, no one does” I said and finished washing up

“Wait did ya really wash up you know she says that so she can sample the food” AppleBloom said

“Yes I did wash my hands.” I said and dried them off

“I never do” AppleBloom said “You need to meet Lyra”

“I really have no intention of meeting Lyra and I never will.” I said

“Why not” Applebloom asked

“I have my reasons and that’s that.” I said and walked out of the kitchen

“Yer gonna run into her either way” Applebloom said with a smirk

“Whatever.” I said

“Ok come on you two” A red stallion said “The name is Big Macintosh”

I held out a hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Steel Diamond.”

“Good to know somepony has manners” Big Mac said

I smiled. “Well, my parents taught me my manners and I am forever grateful that they did.” I said

I was walking to the kitchen when I noticed AppleBloom looking at my shotgun.

“What’s this contraption?” She asked

I quickly ran over and picked up my shotgun. “AppleBloom, I really suggest you don’t touch this.”

“Why is it dangerous?”Asked Big Mac

“Yes Big Mac. It is dangerous. This is called a gun.” I said, putting the shotgun across my back

“Maybe ya should put it in the safe over there” Big Mac suggested

“I’ll keep that in mind Big Mac. My gun is empty right now, so you don’t have to worry about it.” I said

“Just make sure ya keep it in a safe place” AppleJack said

“I will AppleJack, I will.” I said, noticing a sense of reassurance go across her face

“Good now soups on everypony” AppleJack said

“Thanks AppleJack.” I said as I sat down at the table

“Woohoo” AppleBloom said

I smiled and tasted the soup. It was very good. “This is delicious AppleJack.” I said

“Well thank ya but Big Mac made it” AppleJack said

“Still, it is very good soup.” I said and I saw her face brighten at my compliment

“Eeyup” Big Mac said

After I had finished my soup and thanked them for the meal, I went back to my truck, which was where I slept mostly.

“Well AppleBloom its time for bed” AppleJack said

“Aww do i gotta” AppleBloom whined

I looked at AppleBloom and said, “getting a good sleep helps a lot.” I yawned since I was tired

“Eeyup now go on ta bed AppleBloom” Big Mac said

“Goodnight Guys. I’ll see you in the morning.” I said then climbed in my truck and locked the door after shutting it. I went to bed 15 minutes later. I couldn’t help but wonder what my friends and family were going through.

“Hi you must be new here” A pink mare said jumping out of my blankets

I jumped and hit my head. “How the hell did you get in here?!” I asked, rubbing my head

“Huh i dunno” She said with a giggle

I sighed in pain then took a few painkillers. I then asked her, “Can I help you?” I was obviously tired and I wanted to get back to sleep quickly

“Oh ya i'm Pinkie Pie i was wanting to throw you a welcome party” Pinkie said

“Well, you got me at a bad time. Could you throw me that party tomorrow?” I asked, as I was way too tired for a party

“That is the point silly” Pinkie said

I looked at her with a deadpan expression on my face. “Pinkie, I’m going to have to take you up on that party tomorrow. I am tired and my legs are asleep.” I said as innocently as possible

“Duhhhh it is tomorrow you silly filly” Pinkie said bouncing

I looked at the time. it was 2:45 in the morning. “Wow. Two hours went by that fast?” I said surprised. “Pinkie, could you wait for another 5 and a half hours and then throw the party?” I asked

“Sure” Pinkie said laying down on my stomach

“Ok. See you then.” I said and fell asleep with Pinkie Pie on my stomach

5.5 HOURS LATER

“SURPRISE” Pinkie shouted
I jumped out of bed and hit the floor of my truck. “Pinkie you almost gave me a heart attack!” I yelled, clutching my heaving chest. I hated it when someone woke me up like that

“Oops sorry” Pinkie said as her mane and tail deflated

“Its fine, Pinkie. Next time, just give me a little nudge and I’ll wake up, ok?” I said hoping to lighten her spirits

“Ok sorry about that” Pinkie said

I smiled and got dressed. “Pinkie, go on ahead. I’ll meet you there.” I said, getting my keys and sitting behind the wheel

“We have been here for a hours silly” Pinkie said

“We have? I just got up!” I said to her. I was really confused at how 10 hours flew by that fast.

“Well duhhhh” Pinkie said

I got out of my truck with my shotgun across my back since I keep it there and the first thing I saw was a mint green unicorn. ‘That must be Lyra’ I said to myself. I paid no attention to Lyra and walked to the table that had the goodies on it. I couldn’t decide whether I should have a slice of cake or a cupcake. I stood there for about 5 minutes looking at both the cake and the cupcakes and I still couldn’t decide what I should have.

“H-hello my name is Lyra and YOU ARE A FREAKING HUMAN I KNEW THEY WERE REAL I KNEW IT” Lyra shouted

I quickly scarfed down a cupcake and ran to my truck. As soon as I got in I started it. The engine roared to life.

“WAIT” Lyra shouted

I saw her running towards my truck and I floored the accelerator. I drove off in a cloud of dust.

“WHAT THE OH COME ON AGAIN” AppleJack Shouted

I leaned out the window. “SORRY APPLEJACK! I’LL FIX IT WHEN I CAN! I PROMISE!” I shouted back as I drove off