Discord Actually Goes to Heaven

by Scootaboom1

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1008

How is Discord even allowed anywhere near heaven.

As it turns out because he is a being of pure chaos he is completely unaccountable for his actions.

But is that really all there is to it?

Inspired by a story from naturalbornderpy:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/358217/discord-goes-to-heaven

Published 2022-07-25 21:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-07-25 21:50:00 UTC

Chapter 1

Discord

Waking up I felt a familiar headache.

Has something like this happened before to me?

Hummm...

Must have been another fanfic.

Oh well let's see what happens to me this time.

Getting up I noticed that I was apparently sleeping on a cloud.

That's odd I don't remember doing that?

When I started to look around I noticed that their was a field of grass.

That's odd I do not think that I did that?

I then heard a voice coming from around my knees.

Looking down I saw an odd earth pony filly with a purple mane.

Her coat was pink but her wings were a pure white and a halo but no cutie mark, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was that was so strange about her.

The filly was apparently named Pink Delight and she welcomed me to heaven.

...

...

...

...

Wait a moment...

She was dead!

So that was what I noticed about her.

Wait if she was dead then why did I summon her here?

When I asked her why I did she had a confused expression before she gained a look of understanding and started laughing.

When I asked what was so funny she said that I was in heaven.

Wait really?

"Must have been some crazy night I guess?"

She got an expression that I could only describe as 'are you kidding me'.

"You died," she said with her dead pan expression.

I looked up and noticed a halo floating above my head.

"Wait I can die? How did I die?"

She rubbed the back of her head and said, "You fell into a paper shredder in your sleep."

So that's how, but there was still one thing that bothered me...

"Why was I allowed into heaven?"

"You are a being of pure chaos." She said as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

She sighed and said, "That means that you are held almost completely unaccountable for your actions."

I took a moment to pause and think about what she just told me.

"Well I may as well take a look around."

She nodded and said that she would show me around.

Heaven is not really all that interesting but I did run into Apple Blooms' parents after a quick tour and one stolen rake, but they seemed to be bummed about something.

When I asked they said that if nothing was done Apple Bloom and the other cutie mark crusaders were going to died and go to hell.

"How or why do they end up in hell!!!"

A cloud puffed out of the ground and began to display various incidents involving the cutie mark crusaders.

One of the ones which stuck out to me was when the cutie mark crusaders were trying to get their cutie marks in siege weapons.

That was a fun disaster but as I thought about it I started to understand.

If they died to soon then they will never be able to fully make up for all the problems them have caused.

I tapped my chin and questioned, "If only I could somehow come back to life so that I was there to save them?"

Pink Delight raised her eyebrow and said, "Well nothing is stopping you."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

Pink rolled her eyes and said, "You are the Lord of chaos, there is literally nothing stopping you from just going back."

This gave me pause.

When I thought about it she was right.

There was nothing stopping me from coming back to life and saving the cutie mark crusaders so that they would have enough time to make up for all the trouble they have caused.

I gave my goodbyes and snapped my claw.

Three days after my death many of the ponies who knew me personally were gathered for my funeral when my coffin exploded and I started to do my stretches.

I noticed that many of the faces were angry with me.

"Discord! Why in tarnation did you pretend to be dead for three days!" Applejack huffed.

I rolled my eyes out of there sockets and said, "Actually I was dead but I am also the Lord of chaos, so being dead is only an inconvenience at best.

Also your mother and father sent their regards."

Applejack went wide eyed and said, "My parents are in hell!"

I began to laugh and said, "Oh no no no. I was actually in heaven believe it or not."

The expressions of surprise on most of their faces just made me laugh even more than before.

Between laughs I said, "Ya I know. I was just as surprised as the rest of you, but as it turns out since I am a being of pure chaos I am almost completely unaccountable for my actions."

Everyone present gave me a bug eyed stare for a few moments.

"What?" shouted everyone present.

I could not help but laugh at their reactions.

I decided to keep an eye on each of the cutie mark crusaders and after a week I saw them try to help a filly get a cutie mark by holding a seance which would have ended badly for them.

So I swapped it out for Pink Delight after the evil spirit made itself known.

All five of them were confused with the situation but fortunately the cutie mark crusaders did notice that Pink Delight was missing her cutie mark.

While their current had not obtained her cutie mark she along with the other fillies was more interested in coming up with ideas for what Pink Delights' cutie mark may have been.

She had not been sure of if she could gain a cutie mark any more.

But as Scootaloo pointed out it was never to late to find your purpose in life.

Pink Delight scowled and said, "I am not entirely sure if you noticed this, but I am no longer alive."