Rock Music

by RB_

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Octavia, Maud Pie, DJ P0N-3, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8762

Vinyl Scratch had one problem: she couldn't make Maud dance. Then Lyra summoned the demon. Now she has two problems.

Vinyl Scratch had one problem: she couldn't make Maud dance.

Then Lyra summoned the demon.

Now she has two problems.

Based on a prompt from (the very cool) Perfectly Insane.

Cover art is arranged by me, but uses the work of AndoAnimalia and MoongazePonies.

Published 2022-08-01 15:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-01 15:30:00 UTC

Lithophonic Jam Session

The thrum of the bass shook the barn’s walls, the barn’s rafters, and the bones of every pony in a three-mile radius.

Vinyl Scratch1 loved that feeling. Especially the bone shaking.

[1] Ponyville’s resident DJ. Currently second in the running for most noise complaints. Sees that as a challenge.

Her head bobbed to the music, the headphones over her ears barely managing to hang on. Sweat ran down her forehead. Her heart raced.

She felt alive. For the first time in a while.

Vinyl looked out over the crowd of ponies that had packed themselves into the barn through the purple tint of her signature shades. The throng bounced and shifted, the seething mass of limbs and bodies almost alive in its own right, illuminated in stop-motion by the strobes.

That was what Vinyl liked to see.

Not everypony was dancing, of course. Some came for the music; others came for the party. And the drinks, sipped from anonymous red plastic cups. Punch was the drink of choice: Pinkie Pie’s special recipe.

Those ponies stood on the outskirts of the barn, drinks in hooves or unicorn magic. Some of them tapped their hooves to the beat. All of them were smiling.

And that was alright with Vinyl. As long as they were having a good time. Well, that and as long as nobody passed out. Pinkie Pie’s special recipe wasn’t for the faint of heart.

Speaking of the party mare, Vinyl was easily able to pick her out of the crowd. Her bright pink coat stood out like neon under the blacklights. She was going crazy on the dance floor, as per usual. Maybe even a bit more than usual; a little ring of empty space had formed around her, other dancers fearful of her flailing limbs. Vinyl’s grin grew a bit wider. Classic Pinkie.

Then, she caught a glimpse of the pony Pinkie was dancing, not with, but beside.

She was a mare. Not a unicorn, maybe a pegasus if she had wings under that frock she was wearing. Her colours were muted and dull. She would have blended into the shadows between the spotlights if she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb as the only pony in the crowd who wasn’t dancing.

Vinyl’s grin grew even larger. A challenge, huh? She was down for that.

Vinyl slumped her way down from the stage like the veteran performer that she was: tired, jaded, and feeling utterly and totally defeated on the field of battle.

She’d tried everything. Gone through her entire setlist. Nothing had worked on the mystery mare. She hadn’t gotten so much as a tapping hoof. Not even a smile.

Vinyl shook her head. No. No point focusing on one mare. Everyone else had been having a good time.

Right?

She inhaled… exhaled. Put a smile back on her face. There was a pony she needed to thank for all of this. She pushed her way through the crowd, only now starting to disperse.

She found the mare in question quite easily. She really did stand out in the crowd.

“Yo, Pinkie! You were going hard tonight!”

“Of course I was, silly,” Pinkie Pie2 said, waving a hoof. “I was dancing for two!”

Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “You expecting or something?”

Pinkie batted her eyelashes. “Expecting what?”

“Uh… never mind.”

[2] Ponyville’s resident party pony. The only one to beat Vinyl for noise complaints. Parties as naturally as she breathes.

“Anyway,” Vinyl said, “thanks for helping me set this all up. I really missed playing the club scene back in Canterlot. Tonight felt good!”

“Don’t thank me, thank Applejack!” Pinkie said. “It’s her barn.”

“Yeah, but she never would’ve let me within ten meters of the place if you hadn’t asked for me.”

“Well, you know how Applejack3 is.”

They both nodded. They did know.

[3] Ponyville’s resident apple farmer. Isn’t important to this story. Or to most stories, really.

“By the way,” Pinkie said. “I have someone to introduce you to!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” Pinkie stepped aside, revealing…

Vinyl’s eyebrows shot up. It was the very same mare she had spotted in the crowd earlier. The one who wouldn’t dance.

“This is my sister, Maud!” Pinkie said. “She just moved to Ponyville, and she loves-loves-loves music too!”

“She’s your sister!?” Vinyl said, aghast.

Maud Pie4 opened her mouth. “Everyone says that.” Her expression did not change one iota.

“I don’t know why,” Pinkie added. “We’re so alike!”

[4] Ponyville’s resident rock expert. Lives in a cave. By choice.

Something caught Pinkie’s attention from the other side of the barn. “Oh no, it looks like somepony couldn’t handle my special recipe. Be right back!” She was gone before Vinyl could blink.

Now alone with Maud, and after a few moments of awkward silence, Vinyl decided to strike up a conversation.

“So, you, uh… you like music, huh?”

Maud nodded.

“What kind of music do you like?”

“Rock music.”

“Oh yeah?” Vinyl said. Here was some progress! “Like, what, Led Balloon? Filly Fighters? Princess? The Roaches?”

“Not that kind of rock music.”

Vinyl waited for her to elaborate. She did not.

“Riiight,” Vinyl said at last. “Um… do you… play any instruments? Pinkie’s pretty musically gifted, so…”

“I do.”

Vinyl waited for her to elaborate.

She did not.

“What instrument?”

“Rocks.”

Vinyl opened her mouth.

Then she closed it.

“I’d better go help my sister,” Maud said, turning away.

“Oh, uh, okay. Nice to meet… you…”

Maud was already gone.

Night turned to day turned to night. Date night, to be specific. Double date night, if you wanted to get technical. And Vinyl loved to get technical.

“I just can’t get her out of my head,” Vinyl said, idly drawing circles on their table’s surface with her hoof. “She’s like a song that’s stuck on loop in there.”

“If you’re going to break up with me for this ‘Maud’ pony,” Octavia Melody5 said, “I suggest you do so quickly and outside of the reach of my hooves.”

[5] Ponyville’s resident classical musician. Sheer perfection in pony form. Will not let you forget it.

“It’s not like that!” Vinyl blurted out, waving her forehoof and blushing a little.

Octavia smiled a smug little smile. “Good.”

The two of them were sat beside one another in a booth at ‘The Fig Leaf’, a high-end restaurant on the west side of Ponyville just off of Haycart street. It was a classy place. A little too classy for Vinyl’s tastes, and not quite classy enough for Octavia’s, but, well, sometimes you just have to make do.

They were not alone, however.

“So she didn’t like your music,” Lyra Heartstrings6 said, between bites of her salad. “So what?”

“I agree,” Bon Bon7 said. “I think you’re taking this a little too personally, Vinyl.”

[6] Ponyville’s resident lyre-toting busker. Likes being helpful. Maybe a little too helpful.

[7] Ponyville’s resident candymare. Loves Lyra, despite her eccentricities. Has a slightly larger role in this story than Applejack.

“I can’t help it!” Vinyl said. “I’m the Vinyl Scratch. I can make anypony dance!”

“Really, Vinyl, you’ve too sensitive,” Octavia said. She speared a tomato with her fork. “You can’t obsess over every critic. It’s not healthy.”

“Says the mare with a dartboard covered in newspaper clippings.”

“That’s just for stress relief.”

“Maybe you should just ask her what she thought,” Bon Bon suggested. “You know, actually talk to her?”

“I tried! But it was like pulling teeth,” Vinyl said. “She told me she likes rock music, but she was obviously lying. I asked her about some bands, but she didn’t recognize any of them. I bet she just wanted me to leave her alone.”

She flopped down onto the table. “I’m a terrible DJ!”

“No, you’re not,” Lyra said. “You’re the best DJ in Ponyville.”

“I’m the only DJ in Ponyville.”

“She probably just doesn’t like electronic music,” Octavia said.

“But everyone likes electronic music!” Vinyl shot back.

“No, Vinyl, ponies who go to your shows like electronic music,” Octavia said. “Those who don’t, know better.”

“You never come to my shows, either.”

“The point stands.”

Vinyl lit her horn and picked up a fork in her magic. She poked at her salad with it, but didn’t actually make a move to eat anything.

“I wish there was some way to just know how to get through to Maud,” she said. “Then I wouldn’t have to worry about it so much.”

A few moments passed in silence.

Then, Lyra’s eyes sparkled.

“I know!”

Vinyl looked up at her. “You do?”

“Yeah!”

“Care to elaborate on that?” Octavia asked, but Lyra was already getting up from the table.

“No time,” she said. “I’ve got to get things ready. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

And with that, she dashed off.

Vinyl and Octavia turned to look at one another. “Why do I have a sudden feeling of unrelenting doom?” Octavia asked.

“I don’t know,” Vinyl replied, “but I feel it too.”

“And of course she leaves me to pay the tab,” Bon Bon groaned. “Again.”

The table lapsed into silence for a while.

“Anyway,” Octavia said at last, “I think you should just take this as a loss and move on. It’s not good to obsess over these things.”

Vinyl sighed. “I know I should.”

“You can’t please everyone, Vinyl.”

“I know.”

“Oh,” Octavia said, looking up. “And it seems our entrees have arrived. Let us feast and be merry.”

And they did.

“Do you remember how I told you last night that it’s unhealthy to obsess over things?” Octavia asked.

“Yep,” said Vinyl.

“This is what I meant.”

The two of them were standing in the shadow of a building, Vinyl peeking around the corner so as not to be seen by her quarry.

That quarry being Maud.

“Can we please go back and finish our shopping?” Octavia said. “The market will close if we don’t hurry.”

“Just give me a few more minutes.”

“We’ve been following her for over half an hour.”

“Just a few more minutes.”

Octavia rolled her eyes.

Vinyl had spotted Maud by chance and immediately seized on the opportunity to do some reconnaissance, dragging an (irate) Octavia along for the ride.

“What are you even hoping to gain from doing this?” Octavia asked.

“I dunno,” Vinyl replied. “Something.”

“This is the exact kind of thinking that led to your little incident back in Canterlot, you know,” Octavia warned.

Vinyl bit her lip. Shook her head. “It’s not the same as then. Things are different now.”

“If you say so.”

Vinyl peered out from behind the corner. Maud was standing in the street, looking at the sign for one shop in particular.

“Hacksaw’s Bolts and Screws?” Vinyl read. “What’s she doing at a hardware store?”

“Probably buying something completely innocuous for entirely valid reasons,” Octavia said. “Like any other pony would.”

Vinyl watched as Maud entered the store. She bit the inside of her lip.

“Whatcha doing?” asked a familiar high-pitched voice from behind them.

“Spying on your sister,” Vinyl replied.

“Oh, okay!”

A moment passed.

Vinyl whipped her head around. “Pinkie!? Why are you here!?”

“I saw you being all sneaky and wanted to join in,” Pinkie said. “I’m very good at sneaking, you know!”

“You certainly snuck up on us,” Octavia said. “Impressive, given your… ‘you-ness’.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment!” Pinkie said. “So why are you spying on Maud? Did she do something?”

“Uh…”

“Vinyl is obsessing over the fact that she couldn’t make Maud dance at her show the other night.”

“Tavi!” Vinyl exclaimed. “You can’t just tell her that!”

“And why not?” Octavia said. “Surely asking Maud’s sister for help would be a better idea than stalking her for no real reason.”

“I understand completely!” Pinkie said, looking unusually serious.

Vinyl blinked. “You do?”

“Yeah! Getting Maud to dance is like squeezing water from a stone.”

“So impossible,” Vinyl said.

“What? No,” Pinkie replied. “You just have to squeeze really hard.”

Vinyl decided to write that off as a Pinkie thing. “So, you’ve gotten her to dance, then.”

“Yep!”

“How?”

“By playing her favourite type of music!”

“…And that is…?”

“Rock music,” Pinkie said.

Vinyl groaned.

“Perhaps you could be a little more specific,” Octavia offered. “Give us a subgenre. Classical rock? Punk? Grunge?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Not that kind of rock music.”

“Well, what kind, then?”

Pinkie laughed. “Well, Maud’s been working on this thing in her cave—”

“What are you doing?” asked a familiar monotone voice from behind them.

“Spying on you,” Vinyl replied.

“Oh. Okay.”

A moment passed.

Vinyl whipped her head around. “Maud!?”

Maud was, indeed, standing there, just outside the shadow of the building, one foreleg holding a shopping bag. Her neutral expression seemed to bore into Vinyl’s mind.

“Uh…” Vinyl stammered, “I-I can explain!”

“Vinyl was just wondering what kind of music you like because she noticed that you weren’t dancing at her show the other day,” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie!”

“I told you,” Maud said. “I like rock music.”

Vinyl put her head in her hooves. “What does that mean?”

Octavia stepped forward. “I’m sorry, we haven’t been introduced, have we? My name is Octavia Melody.”

Maud said nothing. Octavia’s smile faltered a little.

“Perhaps,” she said, “You could tell us your favourite rock band?”

“Rocks don’t have bands,” Maud said. “Just striations.”

“Um… Yes, of course, but I was talking about music.”

“So was I.”

Octavia shot Vinyl a glance. It said, “I didn’t know you were being so literal when you said it was like pulling teeth.”

Vinyl shot a glance back. Hers said, “I told you!”

Just then, the town’s clocktower began to chime. Octavia’s eyes widened.

“Vinyl,” she said. “The market!”

“But—”

“No more excuses!” Octavia grabbed Vinyl’s tail in her mouth and began to drag her away.

“But… but…”

“Goodbye,” Maud said. Pinkie waved.

“But…!”

Vinyl bobbed her head to the music coming through her headphones as she and Octavia made their way down the road to their house on the edge of town. She had the volume down low, low enough that she could still hear Octavia speaking.

Barely.

“Are you mad at me?” Octavia asked.

“Not really mad,” Vinyl said. “Who could get mad at you?”

“A very good point.”

“But I am a little… teeny bit… peeved-ish?” Vinyl said.

“But we got such a good deal on radishes,” Octavia said, holding up a grocery bag.

“Yeah, and that’s great. Really happy for you on that one.”

“See when you say it like that,” Octavia said, “you do sound like you’re mad at me.”

“Sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Gah!” Vinyl exclaimed. “Maybe I do need to just let this Maud thing slide. It’s messing with my head.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along,” Octavia said. “You can’t please everyone, Vinyl. There’s no need to try.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said. “I should just listen to you.”

“You should always listen to me,” Octavia said, smiling smugly. “I’m never wrong.”

Vinyl snorted. “Alright then, I’m putting this all behind me. From this day forward, I will never think of Maud Pie again!”

“That’s the spirit!”

They rounded a corner of the path, their little home just ahead of them. They walked together to the door. Vinyl pulled out her keys and fitted them into the lock. She went to turn it, but…

“Uh… why is the front door unlocked?”

“It is?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah.” Vinyl frowned. “Did we forget to lock it?”

“I distinctly remember you doing it,” Octavia said, also frowning.

They looked at one another. Vinyl swallowed.

She turned the knob and slowly opened the door, revealing…

“Lyra?”

The minty unicorn looked up at them.

“Oh, hey you two!”

She was sitting on the wooden floor of their living room. A variety of items lay scattered around her (about half of which were Vinyl’s), including a bucket of red paint with a paintbrush sticking out of the top of it. Which explained where the large crimson circle Lyra was in the middle of had come from.

“Um, Lyra?” Vinyl said, stepping into the room. “Did you… break into our house?”

“Yeah,” Lyra said. “I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“…How?”

“Picked the lock.”

“You can do that?”

“Yep!”

“And just what is all of this for?” Octavia asked, shutting the front door behind her.

“Summoning the demon Cacophony,” was Lyra’s casual response.

Octavia and Vinyl stared at her in silence for a few moments.

Vinyl removed her headphones and let them hang from her neck. “Summon… summon what?”

“The demon Cacophony.”

“See, that’s what I thought you said,” Vinyl said. “If you don’t mind me asking… why?”

“So you can find out how to make Maud dance. Duh.”

“Oh no,” Octavia said. “None of that now. She’s decided to put all that ‘Maud’ business behind her. Isn’t that right, Vinyl?”

Vinyl’s eyes were wide with astonishment. “Can you seriously just do that?”

Octavia elbowed Vinyl in the ribs.

“Ow! I mean, yes, a-hem, I’ve… really… uh… what she said.”

“Well, I’ve already drawn the circle,” Lyra said. “What could it hurt?”

“A demon?” Octavia said. “I think that could do plenty of harm!”

“Oh, relax,” Lyra said, waving a hoof dismissively. “I do this all the time! It’s perfectly safe.”

“What do you mean, ‘all the time’?” Octavia asked, incredulous. “What use could you possibly have for summoning a demon on a regular basis?”

Lyra waved a hood dismissively. “Oh, you know, asking what the best place to busk in Ponyville is, looking for inspiration for new songs, getting help opening jars of peanut butter… that sort of thing.”

“…You summon a demon to help you open jars of peanut butter.”

“They put the lids on way too tight, okay?”

“What’d you say the demon’s name was, again?” Vinyl asked.

“Cacophony,” Lyra replied. “Demon of Music and Loud Noises. I think you’d get along!”

“That does sound like my kind of demon…”

Octavia stomped her hoof. “Vinyl! We are not summoning a demon in the middle of our living room just so you can figure out what ‘rock music’ is!”

“But Tavi!”

“No buts!”

Lyra let out a nervous laugh. “See, about that… I kind of already started.”

Octavia gave her a look. The look said, “I would strangle you in a heartbeat if I knew I could get away with it. And maybe even if I didn’t.”

“It’s fine, though,” Lyra added quickly. “As long as I complete the ceremony perfectly without interruption, everything will be okay!”

“What do you have to do to summon a demon, anyway?” Vinyl asked.

Lyra stood up and stepped out of the circle. “Well,” she said, “for Cacophony, first you draw the summoning circle in red…”

“That paint had better come off without damaging the floor,” Octavia grumbled.

“…and then you say the proper incantation, make an offering, and poof, he appears,” she finished. “Oh, and you have to make sure there are no loud noises or music in the vicinity. Y’know. Basic stuff.”

“Where did you learn all of this, anyway?” Vinyl asked.

“I took demonology as an elective in college.”

Octavia’s eyebrows shot up. “You went to college?”

“Graduated top of my class. Summa cum laude.”

“Summa cum laude!?” Octavia exclaimed. “Why on earth do you spend all your time playing music for spare change, then?”

“I like the job title. ‘Busker’ has a nice ring to it. Busker busker busker busker…”

“Anyway,” Vinyl said, “the ritual?”

“Well, I already said the incantation,” Lyra replied. “All we have to do now is make the offering.”

“What was the incantation?”

“Dori me, interimo adapare dori me ameno ameno, latire latire mo dori me.”

“What language is that?” Octavia asked.

“No idea. It’s from a different era.”

Vinyl and Octavia glanced at one another.

“Now,” Lyra said, “the offering.”

Her horn lit up, and she placed a set of papers into the middle of the circle.

“Sheet music?” Octavia asked. “That’s the offering?”

“Yep,” Lyra replied. “I borrowed some of yours. Hope you don’t mind.”

“I most certainly do!”

They waited in silence for a few moments.

“So, uh…” Vinyl said. “When does—”

A jet of smoke as black as tar erupted from the center of the circle. It stank of brimstone and wood smoke. Vinyl covered her mouth with a hoof.

A shadow appeared in the center of the smoke. All at once, the smoke dissipated outward, revealing the figure at its heart.

He resembled a goat, but bipedal. His coat was a deep red. His horns spiraled outward to fine points. His teeth were sharp and pointed. His claws were long.

All of this might have been intimidating if it weren’t for the fact that he barely came up to Vinyl’s knee.

“Oh,” Octavia said. “He’s… smaller than I would have expected.”

“Everyone says that.”

Cacophony8 opened his mouth. “WHO HAS SUMMONED—oh, it’s you.”

“Yep,” Lyra replied. “It’s me.”

“What do you want now?” the demon asked. “Another jar to open, perhaps?”

[8] Demon of Music and Loud Noises. As old as the first caveponies who banged sticks together and liked the sound they made. Not a resident of Ponyville.9

[9] Yet.

“No, actually,” Lyra said. “I wanted to ask you a question. Or, well, to be more accurate, my friend Vinyl wanted to ask you a question.”

With a tiny clawed hand, Cacophony picked up a page of the sheet music. He ripped a piece off and stuffed it into his mouth. “Ask away,” he said between chews. “Ooh, allemande, my favourite.”

“Maud Pie,” Vinyl said. “How can I get her to dance?”

“By playing her favourite kind of music, I imagine. Ponies are alike like that.”

“What is her favourite kind of music?”

“How should I know?” Cacophony said. “I’ve never even heard of a ‘Maud Pie’.”

“How is that possible?” Lyra asked. “I mean, you’re the demon of music, you should know everypony’s taste.”

“What do you want me to say?” the demon replied, pulling off another strip of the sheet music. “Perhaps they just don’t have one. They could have never really listened to music, or never liked it to begin with. I fail to see how that’s my problem.”

“So you really can’t tell us anything?”

“Have you tried just asking this mystery mare?” Cacophony said.

“Yes!”

“And what did she say?”

“Rock music.”

“Well, there you go,” Cacophony said, taking another bite out of the sheet music. “Play her some Poni Hendrix.”

“Not that kind of rock music, apparently.”

“What other kind of rock music is there?”

“That’s what I want to know!”

Lyra stepped forward. “Can’t you tell us anything?”

“I would if I could,” Cacophony said. “Or, to be more accurate, I have to. You know how the summoning works.”

He ripped off a long strip of the sheet music and slurped it up like a noodle.

Lyra sighed, and turned to face Vinyl. “Sorry, Vinyl. It looks like this is a wash.”

“No, it’s okay,” Vinyl said. “You tried your best. Besides, Tavi’s right. I should just put this behind me.”

Lyra gave her a smile, but it was a bittersweet one.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll finish the ritual and send Cacophony back to where he came from.”

“It’s all yours.”

Vinyl took a step back.

Click.

She looked down at what her hoof had stepped on.

It was a remote.

“Ah, shi—”

Vinyl’s wall of speakers exploded with sound. Heavy bass flooded the living room. The rafters began to shake. The entire house seemed to sway.

Vinyl quickly snatched up the remote and hit the ‘off’ button, but it was too late. The deed had been done.

Cacophony began to laugh. The stench of brimstone grew stronger. Flames leapt up from the summoning circle.

“Oh,” Lyra said, her eyes widening. She took a step away from the fire. “That’s… bad.”

“Lyra,” Vinyl said, also backing away. “What happens if the ritual goes wrong?”

“Um,” Lyra said. “Cacophony is freed and possesses the summoner, beginning once again his reign of terror over ponies?”

“You didn’t think to tell us that before you started!?”

“…I didn’t think it was important!” She bit her lip. “In hindsight, maybe doing this in Vinyl Scratch’s house was a bad idea.”

“You think!?”

Cacophony continued to laugh. Black smoke swirled around his small form, enveloping him. When it cleared, he was five times as large—his head one craned neck away from hitting the ceiling.

“Um,” Lyra said. “I don’t suppose you’d go back if we gave you more sheet music?”

“Not a chance,” the demon boomed.

“Horseapples.”

All at once, Cacophony’s body turned to smoke. That smoke seemed to have a life of its own, swirling about before darting forwards and flooding into Lyra’s ears.

“Lyra!” Vinyl and Octavia shouted. Vinyl jumped forwards and grabbed Lyra by the shoulders, prepared to drag her away if necessary.

But it was too late. When Vinyl turned her around, she gasped. Lyra’s golden eyes had been replaced by the side-slanted goat eyes of Cacophony. She began to laugh, but it wasn’t her voice that came out.

Vinyl released Lyra’s shoulders and backed away from her.

“Oh, at last,” Cacophony said. “I knew she’d slip up eventually. How I have waited for this day!”

“Y-you let Lyra go!” Vinyl stammered. “Or you’ll regret it!”

“Oh yes? And who exactly is going to make me regret it? A pathetic DJ and a two-bit cellist?”

Octavia inhaled sharply. “Two-bit?” she said. “Two-bit!?”

“Uh, Tavi, now’s not the time—”

Octavia strolled up to the demon-in-Lyra’s-body. “I’ll have you know, I am regarded as the greatest cellist since Jacqueline du Pon!”

“By whom?”

“Anyone who matters!”

“Ah, yes,” Cacophony said, glancing towards the far wall. “I’m sure that’s exactly why you keep that dartboard covered in newspaper reviews over there.”

Octavia turned bright red. “That’s for stress relief!”

“Well then,” Cacophony said. “Since you’re so stressed, how about I take that load off of your shoulders… permanently.”

“And just what is that supposed to—”

Cacophony opened his mouth.

And he began to sing.

The dreadful noise that emerged hit Vinyl like a tidal wave. It was like an entire symphony had crammed itself into Lyra’s mouth, only they were playing every note wrong. The sound seemed to reverberate between Vinyl’s ears, peeling away at her mind. She slapped her hooves over her ears, but it didn’t help. She could still hear the song—if one could even call it that.

Thinking quickly, reacting on instincts that she didn’t know she had, Vinyl lit her horn and slapped her headphones over her ears. She cranked the volume up to max, drowning out the awful sound.

The fog in her mind began to clear, and she became aware of her surroundings once again. Cacophony had closed his mouth.

She looked at Octavia. “Tavi!? Are you alright!?”

Octavia was standing stock still.

“...Tavi?”

She turned her head to look at Vinyl.

Her eyes were pure white.

“What a clever little pony you are,” Cacophony said. Vinyl could somehow still hear him over the music blasting into her ears.

“What did you do to Octavia!?” she shouted.

“Nothing much,” Cacophony said. “I simply stole her soul. She’s my little puppet now. Jump, puppet!”

Octavia jumped.

“There,” he said. “You see?”

“Turn her back!” Vinyl shouted, stomping her hoof. “Or I’ll… I’ll…”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Cacophony responded. He tapped his chin with Lyra’s hoof. “I should take yours, too… but instead, I say we make a little wager.”

“Wager?”

“You’re a DJ, correct?”

“Y-yeah,” Vinyl said. “What’s it to you?”

“I never could decide how to feel about DJs,” Cacophony said. “On the one claw, you love to play your music loud, which tickles the spot where my soul would be… but on the other claw, most of you just take other people’s music, stitch it together, adjust a few sliders, and call it good.”

“I make my own music,” Vinyl said.

“Excellent!” Cacophony said. “Then you’re the perfect pony to help me make up my mind. So here’s the deal.”

He walked up to Vinyl, his goat eyes narrowing and his mouth twisted into an eerie smile.

“If you can come up with a new type of music—something that even I haven’t heard before—then I will free your friends and return to whence I came. But if you can’t by sundown, your soul is mine.”

“W-why should I trust you to keep your word?”

“I’m a demon,” he said. “Making contracts is what we do.”

“But… how am I supposed to create an entire new type of music in just half a day?” Vinyl said. “That’s impossible!”

“You could start by learning to play an actual instrument,” was Cacophony’s reply. “Now then, I must be going; I have ponies to enslave. Best of luck.”

And with that, he trotted out of the house, Octavia mindlessly following him, leaving Vinyl alone.

Octavia awoke in a world of pure white.

She stood up. The floor was solid, but she couldn’t make out where it stopped and the sky began.

“Am I dead?” Octavia asked the void. “If I am, the Elysian Fields look very different to what I was expecting.”

“I don’t think so,” said a voice from behind her. Octavia turned around.

“Lyra? You’re dead too?”

“We aren’t dead,” Lyra insisted. “…Probably.”

“What are we, then?”

“Our souls are trapped in the Void would be my guess.”

“Great,” Octavia said. “And that’s different to being dead how?”

“It might be reversible.”

“Really?” Octavia said. “Well, that’s a relief. My career as a musician was far from finished.”

“Same here,” Lyra said.

“Where’s Vinyl?”

“She doesn’t seem to have followed us.”

“So she’s still alive?”

“We aren’t dead.”

“Pardon me,” Octavia said. “I mean, she’s still in the real world?”

“That would be my guess.”

“Well, good for her,” Octavia said. “Now, how do we get out of here?”

“I don’t think we can,” Lyra said, tapping her chin. “Not by ourselves. Someone on the outside would have to bring us back.”

“Well, it’s a good thing Vinyl survived, then,” Octavia said.

“We. Aren’t. Dead.”

“Right, yes, yes, I remember,” Octavia said, waving a hoof dismissively. “But nevertheless, Vinyl is our best hope right now.”

“…Are you sure?” Lyra said. “I mean, she’s not the most reliable of ponies…”

“That may be true,” Octavia said, “but I’m choosing to ignore that fact for the sake of my own sanity.”

“That sounds like a good and completely healthy idea.”

“Doesn’t it, though?” Octavia sat down. “Well then. I suppose all we can do now is wait for something to happen.”

“Yeah.”

They didn’t have to wait long. Without warning, and out of completely nowhere, another pony appeared.

“Oh, hey Bon Bon.”

“Lyra,” Bon Bon said, her eyes narrowing. “What did you get us into now?”

“Hey, it wasn’t completely my fault this time!”

“Yes it was,” Octavia said.

“But Vinyl was the one who—”

Bon Bon groaned and massaged her temples. “Lyra…”

Shortly, other ponies began to appear, sometimes one-by-one, sometimes in groups. Soon, a small crowd had formed. Murmurs and unrest filled the void.

Feeling the need to curtail the panic before it set in, Octavia stood up and called for everyone’s attention. The murmuring died down a bit.

“Don’t worry, everyone,” Octavia said. “Everything is under control. I’m sure Vinyl is on her way now to Princess Twilight’s castle. With her and her friends on the job, everything will be just—”

She was interrupted by the sudden arrival of a new group of ponies.

Very familiar ponies.

“…Are we dead?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Octavia squeezed her eyes shut.

“We’re screwed.”

“No, no, no!” Vinyl shouted. “This is impossible!”

She was sitting at her workstation, surrounded by boards covered in switches and sliders and knobs and Celestia-knew-what-else.

None of it was doing her any good, however.

“How am I supposed to come up with a new kind of music in an afternoon!?” she said, her voice high. “That’s like… like… like coming up with a new type of music in an afternoon!”

She slammed her face into the table.

“I’m so screwed,” she said. “Tavi… Lyra…”

A thought came to her.

“Pinkie Pie,” she said. “Pinkie could do it. That mare’s amazing!”

“But she’s in town,” she retorted. “She might have already had her soul stolen! Can we really afford to waste time like that?”

“We have no choice,” she replied. “There’s no way we can do this on our own.”

She blinked. “Great. Now I’m talking to myself. That’s never a good sign.”

She stood up from her workstation and ran to the door.

Vinyl galloped through the streets of Ponyville. The music in her headphones thrummed, the clip-clop of her hooves providing the necessary percussion.

“Pinkie!” she yelled. “Pinkie Pie!”

Around her, ponies stood with blank expressions and pure white eyes. They did not react at all to Vinyl’s shouting. Just stood there. They’d look like statues if it weren’t for the fact they looked nothing like statues.

“Pinkie!” Vinyl cried. “Oh, why is that mare never around when you need her!?”

She continued her flight through downtown Ponyville. Eventually, she reached the town’s center. In the shadow of City Hall, she stopped to catch her breath, her chest heaving.

“Celestia,” she said between gasps for air. “Octavia’s right… I really… need to… get in better shape…”

So focused was she on catching her breath that she didn’t notice the pony walking up behind her.

“Vinyl.”

Vinyl just about jumped out of her coat. She whirled around, prepared for anything, but:

“Oh, for—what is it with you Pies and sneaking up on ponies!?”

It was Maud Pie, in the dull, deadpan flesh.

“There wasn’t much to do on the rock farm,” Maud said. “We got really good at hide and seek.”

“Rock farm?” Vinyl said, then shook her head. “Nevermind. Do you know where Pinkie is?”

Maud pointed. “She’s over there.”

Vinyl turned to look. Sure enough, there was Pinkie Pie, along with Princess Twilight and their friends.

Every one of them had vacant eyes.

Vinyl sank to her knees.

She wasn’t on her knees for long, though, as Maud grabbed her by the shoulders and easily lifted her back to her hooves. And then higher, until she was entirely off the ground.

“What did you do.” she said.

“Uh…”

The look in Maud’s eyes seemed sharper than usual, Vinyl thought.

“What. Did. You. Do.”

Vinyl swallowed.

“H-how did you know I—”

“Basic intuition,” Maud said. “Tell me.”

“We summoned a demon but the ritual went wrong and it possessed Lyra and stole Octavia’s soul, so I made a deal with it but I have to come up with a new kind of music before sundown and I don’t know what to do!”

“Is Lyra the green one?”

“Yes. The minty unicorn.”

“What did she do to my sister?”

“Stole her soul,” Vinyl said. “Well, technically Lyra didn’t steal her soul, Cacophony did. I think anyone who hears his song gets their soul stolen. Could you put me down now?”

Maud didn’t budge.

“…Please?”

Slowly, Maud lowered her to the ground. The look in her eyes did not change.

“Wait,” Vinyl said. “You must have heard the song too. How come you aren’t affected?”

“I only listen to rock music.”

“What are you, a mountain goat?”

“I’m a pony.”

“No, see, it’s a—” Vinyl shook her head. “Never mind.”

They stood there in silence for a few moments.

“…You need to discover a new type of music.” Maud said.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said. “And fast.” She looked up at the sky. The sun was definitely on its way down now.

“I have an idea.”

Vinyl blinked. “You… you do?”

Maud turned around.

“Meet me on the western outskirts of the town. Bring recording equipment. And your loudest speakers.”

“Uh—”

And with that, Maud galloped away. Vinyl stared after her in silence for a few moments.

“Well,” she said to herself. “I guess there’s nothing to lose except everything.”

“Where are we?” Vinyl asked.

“My home,” Maud replied.

“You… live in a cave?”

“By choice.”

Vinyl had to admit, it was a nice cave. Natural waterfalls poured into a shallow basin, the gurgling of the water echoing softly off the smooth walls of rock. There was a surprising amount of greenery, too, and a nice little resting area under a large tent.

“Alright,” Vinyl said, nodding. “I dig it!”

“It wasn’t dug,” Maud said in monotone, walking past her. “It’s a karst cave. It formed when groundwater seeped in and slowly dissolved the natural limestone. That’s its speleogenesis.”

“Speleo-what-now?”

“It’s how the cave was formed.”

“You sure know a lot about caves,” Vinyl said.

“Rocks are my everything.”

Vinyl un-hitched herself from the wagon she’d brought. Microphones, speakers, mixing boards, her DJ equipment, and a few other odds and ends. She hadn’t been sure what Maud wanted her to do specifically, so she’d brought everything just in case.

She followed Maud to one side of the cave. There was a curtain, hanging from a string, that hid a few meters of wall from view.

“What’s that?” Vinyl asked.

Maud grabbed a toolbox off the ground in her teeth and disappeared behind the curtain.

“It’s what’s going to save my sister,” she said. “I have to put on the finishing touches. Get your equipment set up.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Vinyl turned away from the curtain and set about removing her heavy equipment from the cart. She wasn’t sure what to do with it, so she just placed it all on the floor of the cave.

“Hey,” she called out. “Do you have power down here?”

“There’s a generator in the corner.”

“Gotcha.”

Vinyl trotted over to the generator, opened the fuel valve, turned on the choke, hit the ignition, and pulled the cord. The engine came to life.

The purr of the generator and the sound of rushing water became the only sounds in the cave, along with an occasional bang from behind the curtain. Vinyl tried to focus on putting her equipment together, but her attention span wasn’t that great. She thought about putting her headphones back on, but they were running out of charge, and she might need them later.

“So, uh… Maud,” Vinyl said, just wanting to end the silence. “How long have you been here in Ponyville?”

“A couple of weeks,” came the reply from beyond the curtain.

“Oh, so you really are new in town.”

“Yes.”

“I guess that means I’m not the new pony anymore,” Vinyl said. “I just moved here six months ago. Before that, I was in Canterlot.”

“I’ve been to Canterlot.”

“You have?”

“For my rocktorate. The Canterhorn is an excellent example of a fold mountain, and the cave system under the capitol is fascinating.”

“Your rocktorate?” Vinyl asked.

“It’s like a doctorate. But for rocks.”

“Oh. Gotcha.” Vinyl raised her eyebrows. “Should I be calling you Doctor Pie, then?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Vinyl plugged a cable into the generator. “Still, a rocktorate, that’s pretty cool. Did you do a lot of traveling?”

“All over Equestria.”

“Do you miss it?”

“…Yes and no,” Maud said, after a few moments. “But it’s nice to be around Pinkie Pie again.”

“I feel that,” Vinyl said. “Pinkie was half the reason I moved here. Well… maybe a quarter. Love that filly.”

They each returned to their work in silence.

“What were the other three quarters?”

“Huh?” Vinyl said.

“Your reasons for moving to Ponyville,” Maud said. “What were the other three?”

“Oh! Well,” Vinyl said, “the big one was Octavia. You’ve met her, she was the pony who was with me when we were spying on—uh, I mean, when we ran into each other this morning.”

“She’s your…”

“Marefriend,” Vinyl answered. “And my best friend. And the love of my life. And a whole lot of other things, too.”

A regular clanking sound began coming from the other side of the curtain.

“Number two would be that Ponyville is such a musical town,” Vinyl said. “Have you ever noticed how many musicians live here? Or how many musical numbers there are? It’s like a secret mecca for music lovers.”

“And the last one?”

“I, um…” Vinyl said, pausing. “I had to get away… from Canterlot.”

The clanking stopped.

“Why?”

“Well, uh… There were good parts! And there were… not-so-good parts. The good part was mostly the nightclub scene. I met a lot of really cool ponies and played a lot of really cool shows. It was like a dream come true! But the not-so-good parts were…”

Vinyl swallowed.

“Well, it put me into a really… unhealthy headspace, let’s put it that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… put a lot of pressure onto myself,” she said. “I threw myself into my music. And that was amazing, most productive period of my life, but I eventually got so burned out that I was like… like a zombie. I wasn’t eating, I was drinking a whole bunch, and I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Eventually, I passed out in the middle of a show, and…”

Vinyl let out a long breath.

“And I just needed to escape from all of that.”

The clanking from beyond the curtain resumed.

“I kinda get how you feel.”

Vinyl glanced over at the curtain. “You do?”

“I needed to escape from somewhere else, too. A long time ago. That’s one of the reasons I decided to pursue my rocktorate and travel Equestria.”

“What were the other reasons?”

“I really, really like rocks.”

Vinyl smiled. “Never would have guessed.”

A sound made its way around the curtain. It might have been a snort.

“Y’know, you’re a lot easier to talk to than I thought you were,” Vinyl said.

“You too.”

Their conversation lapsed into silence for a little while. Vinyl turned her focus back to setting up her equipment. She was nearly done, now.

“Yknow, I kind of…” she said, speaking carefully. “I kind of took it really hard when you didn’t dance at my show the other day.”

“I only dance to—”

“Rock music, I know, I know.” Vinyl spun a hoof in a circle; a gesture for no one. “Still, though.”

“Would you have wanted me to pretend to dance?”

“No,” Vinyl said. “I think that would have been worse.”

“I was only there because Pinkie asked me to go,” Maud said. “Maybe I should have stayed home.”

“No,” Vinyl said. “I didn’t mean it like that. Anyway, it’s my fault for taking it so personally. I just… making ponies dance is kinda my thing. It’s my special talent.”

“You can’t always please everyone.”

“Yeah, that’s what Octavia says,” Vinyl replied. “Doesn’t stop me from wanting to try, though.”

Vinyl plugged in one final cable.

“Alright,” she said, stepping back. “All finished.”

“Me too.”

The curtain swept back, revealing…

Revealing…

Actually, Vinyl had no idea what it was that had been revealed. It looked a bit like the console of a pipe organ, several rows of pearly white keys layered on top of one another, a myriad of switches on either side, and several foot pedals on the bottom.

However, unlike a pipe organ, there were no pipes that Vinyl could see. What there were was a bunch of stalactites hanging from the ceiling behind it, with little contraptions attached to them.

“What is that?” Vinyl asked.

“It’s a stalacpipe organ,” Maud said. “I invented it.”

“You invented a new instrument?”

“Yes.”

Vinyl’s eyes were wide in awe of the thing. “How’s it work?”

“You push a key and a rubber hammer hits a stalactite.”

Maud pushed one of the keys. A solid, clear tone rang out.

“Oh!” Vinyl exclaimed, the obvious finally clicking. “Rock music!”

Maud nodded. “Rock music.”

She pushed a couple more keys. A chord played.

Vinyl nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah!” Oh, I’m digging this!”

“I told you,” Maud said. “It’s a karst cave. No digging.”

“…You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you.”

“Maybe.”

“All right!” Vinyl said. “With this, we can get everyone’s souls back! Maud, you’re amazing!”

“I try,” Maud said. “The only problem is, it isn’t portable.”

“And that’s why we needed my recording equipment!” Vinyl said, pounding one hoof into the crook of another. “Oh, I can feel the inspiration coming on already!”

She smiled broadly, almost a little maniacally.

“It’s time to make the remix to end all remixes!”

The sun was most of the way down to the horizon. Vinyl paid it no heed. Neither did Maud, who was pulling the cart full of speakers and Vinyl’s DJ equipment (and the DJ herself) behind her at breakneck speed through the streets of Ponyville. Vinyl loved the feeling of the wind through her mane; she was getting pumped.

This was going to be the most important show of her life.

And she loved that.

“Woohoo!” she shouted, pumping her hoof in the air from behind her turntable. “You go, Maud!”

“I work with boulders,” Maud said. “This is nothing.”

They arrived with a screeching halt at the center of town. There was a huge crowd of ponies there, every one of them blank-faced and empty-eyed.

“Hey Cacophony!” she shouted. “Get out here already! Or are you too much of a coward to face the music!?”

A minty unicorn broke from the crowd.

“You’d best watch what you say with those cute little horse lips of yours,” Cacophony said, eyes narrowing. “Or you’ll be in trouble. With a capital T.”

“Oh, I think you’re the one who’s in trouble,” Vinyl said. “Remember our agreement?”

“Of course,” he said. “I do hope you remember the time limit. You’d do well to get back to work on your ‘new music’ instead of coming out here in a fruitless attempt to heckle me.”

“Joke’s on you,” Vinyl said. “We’re already done!”

Cacophony snorted. “Already done? You must be desperate to try and bluff like that.”

“Who’s bluffing?” Vinyl put her hooves on her hips. “I’m one-hundred-percent serious!”

“You’re one-hundred-percent full of it,” Cacophony said.

“We’ll see about that!”

He turned to Maud. “And you… you’re that pony my song didn’t work on earlier.”

“Maud Pie.”

“Oh, so you’re Maud,” he said. “Well, I’m sure I’ll find a way to take your soul, too.”

“Anyway, let’s get this over with,” Cacophony continued, turning back to Vinyl. “I’ll admit, I’m going to enjoy watching you fail.”

Vinyl snorted. “Getting people to enjoy themselves? That’s what my music is all about!”

Vinyl hit a button on her turntable. The speakers behind her came to life, a throbbing bass that filled the air. Vinyl began to bob to the music, her heart starting to race. She could feel the music thrumming through her.

“Oh, a bass line,” Cacophony said. “How original.”

“Oh, just you wait!” Vinyl said. She pushed up a slider. Percussion joined the bass, a quick “rat-tat-tat” that sounded over and over with technological precision.

Cacophony snorted. “Really pushing boundaries, here.”

“We haven’t even gotten started yet!” Vinyl yelled. She pushed a few keys. A repeating series of chirping notes joined the fray, dancing between the percussion and the bassline.

Cacophony scoffed. “This is just normal EDM! You’ve got nothing!”

The bass began to swell. The notes got faster. The percussion kept the beat.

It was high-energy music. Vinyl’s specialty.

She grinned. “Here we go, ladies and gentlecolts! The main event!”

The bass dropped… and a series of clear, sonorous tones rang out over the crowd, knocking the smile right off of Cacophony’s face.

“I… what?” he said. “Wait… what is that instrument?”

“It’s a stalacpipe organ,” Maud said. “An organ made with stalactites.”

“Then… then this is—”

“ERM!” Vinyl shouted, grinning. “Electronic rock music!”

She threw in a few record scratches. Just because she could.

The music continued to play, swelling and dipping and running circles around itself. More instruments joined in, but the pure sound of the stalacpipe organ remained the focus, the music’s center.

“I… I don’t believe it,” Cacophony said. “You can’t be serious! You’re just a DJ!”

“A DJ who knows a really cool rock doctor! Doctor rocker! Rocktor! Whatever!”

The corners of Maud’s lips twitched upwards, just for a second.

Cacophony took a step back. “New music… I… I… lost the wager?”

“Heck yeah!” Vinyl shouted. “‘Cause we built this town on rock and roll, baby!”

“Just rock,” Maud corrected in monotone. “Metamorphic rock. Schist, mostly.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said. “Also what she said. What did you expect from the best and most musical town in all of Equestria?”

Cacophony grit his teeth. “No! I… I…!”

He began to scream. Black smoke billowed out of Lyra’s ears, collecting in an amorphous cloud above the crowd. From the cloud, little sparkles began to rain down, each one flying to make contact with a pony below. Their vacant expressions shifted, and their eyes returned to normal.

The top of the cloud formed itself into the head of a goat. Cacophony looked down on Vinyl and Maud with his horizontal-slit eyes as the cloud began to dissipate.

“You’ll pay for this, Vinyl Scratch, Maud Pie!” he shouted. “You’ll pay for thiiiiiis!”

And then he was gone.

The thrum of the bass shook the cave’s walls, the cave’s ceiling, and the bones of every pony in a three-mile radius.

This time, though, it was accompanied by a more sonorous sound: the distinctive notes of the stalacpipe organ.

ERM was a hit with the townsponies, it seemed. They were dancing harder than Vinyl had ever seen them dance before. Which made her smile, and put even more into her performance.

And there was Maud, in the middle of the crowd, standing next to her sister, who was dancing the hardest of all. Maud wasn’t dancing. But she was tapping her hoof, and Vinyl could just about make out the little smile that adorned her face.

A small victory for Vinyl, but still a victory.

She grinned harder. It’s true what they say; you can’t always please everyone.

But sometimes?

Sometimes you just need to please one person.

And that’s just the best feeling in the world.

Vinyl stepped down from their impromptu stage, still smiling as the last of the applause ended. She made her way through the crowd and headed over to the back of the cave, where she’d seen some of her friends standing around.

“Vinyl!” Pinkie cried out. “Over here!”

It wasn’t just Pinkie and Maud; Octavia, Lyra, and Bon Bon were there, too.

“Hey guys,” Vinyl said as she approached. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Enjoy it!?” Pinkie said. “I loved it! And so did Maud!”

Maud nodded. “I did.”

“I must say, the composition was quite impressive,” Octavia said. “And I’m not just saying that because it saved our lives.”

“Yeah!” Lyra said. “And, uh… thanks for doing that!”

“And just whose fault was it that put our lives in danger in the first place?” Bon Bon said, her eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, yeah, I said I was sorry!” Lyra said. “Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson. No more demon summoning for me!”

“Yes, I think that’s for the best,” Octavia said.

“Yep!” Lyra said. “From now on, I’ll stick to lower horrors and—”

Bon Bon groaned. “You’ve learned nothing, haven’t you.”

“I never do!”

Vinyl laughed. “It’s good to have you all back, guys. But you should be thanking Maud; she’s the real hero.”

“Yes, you’re right,” Octavia said. “Thank you, Maud.”

The others all nodded their agreement.

Maud’s expression didn’t change. “Don’t mention it.”

Vinyl could have sworn her cheeks got a little lighter for a moment.

Just for a moment, though.

“Anyway,” Vinyl said. “I’m beat. I’m going to go home and take a long, long shower.”

“I may join you,” Octavia said, winking at her.

“Ooh,” Vinyl said. “There’s an offer I won’t refuse.”

“I don’t get it,” said Pinkie.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Maud said.

“But I wanna know now!”

Vinyl smiled. All was right in the world.

And it would be for some time…

…as long as Lyra didn’t get involved.

The End.

Author's Note

The Stalacpipe Organ is a real thing, by the by. It's in Virginia, and was constructed by a man named Leland W. Sprinkle, who I can only assume came from Equestria given his name.

Maybe he got the idea from Maud. Who's to say?