Ponestars

by locke_jaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 1785

During her trip to Las Pegasus, Celestia decides to make a quick stop at the city's world renowned pawn shop. A Pawn Stars parody.

In the middle of her "Princess Business" in Las Pegasus, Princess Celestia decides to make a quick stop at the world renowned pawn shop, Bronze & Copper in hopes to experience the genuine pawning experience.

Published 2022-07-24 12:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-07-24 12:40:00 UTC

The Gilded Slice

The camera’s screen opened to a centered view of Princess Celestia standing on a busy sidewalk. She was wearing a tropical shirt with the buttons off and a trilby hat adorned with sunglasses.

“What am I doing in Las Pegasus?” She said with a nervous smile. “Well, very important princess business of course! The details are regarded as a high priority and should be kept secret. They’re not supposed to leave the…blackjack table. I think that’s enough classified information being disclosed so back to the topic at hoof. I came here to check out these guys.”

She pointed a hoof towards the pawn shop across the street. Beside it stood a large sign that said ‘Bronze & Copper Pawn Shop: Open 24 Hours.’ Crowds of ponies were already lined up at the entrance, chatting with each other while they waited for the staff inside to let them in.

The camera returned its focus back on Celestia who was now donning an enthusiastic look. “I heard that they have interesting trinkets stored in that little shop of theirs. I intend to do some sightseeing and maybe a little pawning while I’m at it. But first…”

Celestia’s horn suddenly glowed with magic and it quickly engulfed her entire body. A blinding flash followed after. Once the brightness faded away, the camera was looking at a different mare. She was wearing the same clothes that Celestia wore. Her fur was still white, but for some reason brighter and her mane took a blonde color. Her height remained the same but her wings were nonexistent.

“A disguise.” Celestia continued what she said when her transformation has finished forming. “So that I’ll get the genuine pawn shop experience.” She gestured for the camera to follow her. “Let’s go!”

The scene then cut to an interior view of the Bronze & Copper Pawn Shop. The place was jam-packed with ponies perusing the items on display, while others were talking to the staff in regards to their purchases. Celestia, who was still in her disguise, approached a stallion who was standing behind a glass counter filled with all kinds of rare trinkets. He was bald but he still managed to grow a beard, which was already graying.

“Hi, I’m Brick.” The stallion greeted the Princess in disguise. “How can I help you?”

“You have quite the collection here.” Celestia complimented. “I’ve seen a lot of things here that I thought to have been forgotten by time already.”

“I recommend visiting a museum then. It’ll totally blow your mind.” Brick quipped.

Celestia giggled at his response. “I think I’ll just stick with this place for the time being.”

“Please do. We’re also like a museum, but with a reasonable price tag.” He then let out a laugh, clearly amused with his own joke.

“That’s good to hear.” Celestia smiled. “Because I have something with me that I wish to sell. I think you’ll find it interesting.”

Brick gently tapped on the glass counter’s surface with a foreleg. “Let’s see it.”

With her magic, Celestia summoned the item in question and placed it on the counter. It appeared to be a detailed sculpture of a slice of cake, all made in gold.

Brick raised both brows upon seeing the sculpture. “Whoa.” He looked back at Celestia. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Yes.” Celestia replied proudly.

The scene then cut to a centered view of Brick.

“This is crazy.” He began, a large smile was carved on his face. “I never expected something like this would be brought into my shop.”

The scene then switched to a view of the sculpture. It slowly revolved around the slice as if to showcase it in its entirety. While the camera continued to revolve around the item, Brick’s voiceover could be heard in the background.

“This little piece of work right here is called ‘The Gilded Slice.’ It’s a sculpture of a cake slice carved in gold by the great artist August Ridin. Yes, that Ridin, the guy who made ‘The Ponderer.’ A tradition was formed within the Ridin clan that they were supposed to gift Princess Celestia a golden slice every time her birthday reached the fiftieth mark. And since hundreds of years has already passed, she probably now has a multi-layered cake will all those slices she received.”

The scene cut to a centered view of Celestia.

“It’s not really a multi-layered cake, but more of a large golden pizza.” She then spread her forelegs as wide as she could to emphasize the pie’s size.

The screen returned to the interior shot of the pawn shop.

“How much do you want for it?” Brick said.

Celestia tapped a hoof on her chin. “I was thinking, maybe three thousand bits?”

“Oh boy.” Brick frowned at Celestia’s asking price. “That’s a bit too steep for my blood. And we don’t even know what generation of Ridin made this piece.”

“Generation of Ridin?” Celestia asked as she tilted her head.

“So uh, we all know the original Ridin was not immortal right? So sooner or later he’ll have his heirs continue the tradition for him. So now his children, children’s children, so on and so forth are now tasked to make the sculptures. And its value drops the later the generation makes it.”

An impressed look formed on Celestia’s face. “I didn’t know that.”

Brick looked back at the sculpture and hummed in contemplation. “Do you mind if I have somepony check this out?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ll be right back uh, I got a pony a who knows everything.” Brick then gestured to a unicorn staff member who was working behind a glass counter across the room. The staff understood the signal and immediately magicked a dragonfire letter and launched it at a window nearby.

The scene then cut to a centered view of Twilight Sparkle.

“Hi! I’m Twilight Sparkle!” She said shyly to the camera. “As a former student of Princess Celestia, I know everything there is to know about her.” Her eyes went wide after she realized what she just said. “Did that come off as creepy?”

The scene returned to the shop’s interior with Twilight approaching Brick and Celestia, who was still in her disguise.

“Hey, Twi.”

“Hey, Brick.”

Both ponies proceeded to shake hooves.

“Wait, you know Twilight Sparkle?” Celestia said to Brick, surprise apparent in her voice.

“Yeah.” Brick shrugged. “She’s my go-to mare when it comes to ancient magical artifacts, or in our case, Celestia memorabilia.”

“So what do you have for me?” Twilight asked.

“Check this out.” Brick said as he slid the golden sculpture towards Twilight.

“No way!” Twilight’s eyes went wide upon seeing the item she was tasked to appraise. “Is that an eleventh generation Ridin rendition of the Gilded Slice?”

Brick raised a brow. “Eleventh, huh?”

“Yes.” Twilight confirmed. “Long Ridin. You can easily tell that this is his work by the type of cake alone, a black forest gateau, as it was his favorite. I think this is the only variation of the gilded slice that has a cherry topping on it. But more importantly,” Twilight cast a suspicious look at the disguised Celestia. “How did you get a hold of this?”

“Uh…” Was all Celestia could say before Twilight continued.

“The Gilded Slices are safely stored inside the royal treasure room. The only instance of them being let out and shown to the public is when the Princess hits the fiftieth mark on her birthdays. Unless of course,” Twilight narrowed her eyes as she continued to glare at the Princess in disguise. “It was stolen?”

“Can I speak with you in private?” Celestia smiled nervously as she slowly dragged the skeptic Twilight towards the exit.

The scene was quickly cut to a centered view of Twilight. A foreleg covered her face, which she slowly dragged downwards in shame.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed.” She said in a whispered tone. “I should’ve known that was the Princess in disguise. The height and fur were a dead giveaway.”

The scene returned to the shop’s interior.

“What was that all about?” Brick asked the mares as they trotted back to his counter.

“Nothing.” Twilight was quick to reply. “Let’s get back to business.”

“Cool.” Brick said. “So what do you think it’s worth?”

“Since it’s an eleventh generation Ridin,” Twilight said as she softly scratched the back of her head. “Its price should be within five thousand bits. No wait, ten thousand! Make that one hundred thousand! A million!” Her voice was raised a couple of decibels with each declared price. Celestia tapped the mare’s shoulder before the numbers could reach ridiculous heights.

“Sorry.” Twilight said as she gave Celestia an apologetic look. “It’s just worth five thousand bits.”

“Thank you for your help, Twi.” Brick said as he raised a hoof in Twilight’s direction.

“Don’t mention it.” Twilight reciprocated Brick’s gesture and both ponies shook hooves once more.

With her job in the shop over, Twilight then headed towards the exit, but not before she gave Celestia a rather conspicuous wink.

Celestia smiled awkwardly in response and was secretly hoping that Brick didn’t see that. “The price has gone up, I see.” She said, going back to the topic at hoof.

“Yup.” Brick replied. “So how much do you want for it? Is it still the same or…”

“Nope.” Celestia shook her head. “Still the same.”

Brick hissed softly with his teeth. “How about fifteen hundred?”

A small frown formed on Celestia’s face. “That’s a sharp fall from what I was asking.”

“Well, I gotta make money here.” Brick countered. “Also, this is not Ridin’s most famous work. And it’s not even made by the original Ridin.”

“I don’t know.” Celestia pondered for a bit before she replied. “How about twenty-five hundred?”

“Best I can do is eighteen hundred. That’s my final offer, I won’t go any lower than that. If I do, I won’t make any profit out of this.”

Celestia let out a defeated sigh. “You’re one tough cookie, are you? Alright, it’s a deal.”

“Okay.” Brick grinned. “I’ll meet you right over there.” He then pointed at a counter where a staff member was receiving bits from the other customers.

The scene then cut to a view of the pawn shop outside. Celestia was standing in the same spot earlier before she entered the shop. She was also back in her Alicorn form and had a stupid grin on her face.

“It feels like I’ve just been scammed…I love it!”

Author's Note

Went on a Pawn Stars marathon in the past few days. This story is my way of getting the show out of my system.