EVERFREE: The Bitter Boogie of a Mare From Skaia

C-Side didn’t even walk that far into town when a dragonfire letter popped into existence in front of her. She grabbed it, and read the rather curt message.

Stay where you are. We’re coming to help.
-Bon Bon & Lyra.

Dandy made sure C-Side stayed. When they arrived, Bon Bon demanded an explanation for why C-Side tried to ditch the agents.
“I- look, Bon Bon- I.. I don’t know how to explain it but. I’m gonna be doing something really dangerous. I don’t know what I’m going up against, because chances are what I’m fighting was made more powerful by Equestrian magic. I.. I’m not saying you aren’t trained for this. I’m not saying monster hunting isn’t your primary source of income. What I am saying is.. I don’t want either of you to risk losing each other to this. I’d rather it be me and Dandy.”

“Okay, well, that’s stupid. If you die, then Skaia takes the universe, as I understand it.” Bon Bon countered.
“It was kinda vague, to be fair,” Dandy admitted, “The phrasing was, ‘if you don’t do it, you won’t regret it because there will be nothing left of you to regret with’.”
“...Sooooo, yes, Skaia would end the universe.” Lyra confirmed.
“Or just us, and leave the universe alone. It’s a tossup, but if we assume it just takes us.. I don’t want you to mourn your girlfr- uh. I- No, no I’m shutting up now.”
“Well, too bad. It’s our job to look after you anyways.” Lyra stuck out a tongue. “You’re paying us with your weird shenanigans!”
“More importantly, if monsters have come to Equestria, it’s important that they’re dealt with and secured in Tartarus before they hurt anypony. So I’m still coming with you. Lead onward to the evil statue.”

C-Side admittedly didn’t know where the statue was. She asked the locals if they saw anything, got a glimmer of a clue, and took that direction.
They'd been walking through the desert for hours now. Luckily, Bon Bon had thought well ahead and brought clothing that would suit a desert. Additionally CD was able to replicate bottles of water with the machine she carried around - though Lyra remarked that it tasted like almost nothing. CD just nodded in confirmation.
They found themselves walking through a valley that once held a mighty river. They were flanked on both sides by tall walls of rock, with no easy way out. The sun was directly in front of them, which forced Lyra to adjust her hat a bit.

"Did it have to be sombreros?" Lyra asked, adjusting hers every now and again. “They’re so unwieldy.”
"Well, yeah. Keeps the sun out of your face, gives you a fair amount of shade, keeps you cool. What's not to like?" Bon Bon affirmed her belief. Dandy smiled at the sight of the two secret agents in massive Mexican hats. She had to really hold back to avoid giggling.
"And what's your excuse? You're just wearing the weird god outfit with the hood pulled up." Lyra asked CD.
"These godtier garbs are cozy as hell and designed to be comfortable in any climate. Rarity would kill for Skaian fabric." C-Side slightly bragged, happily mimicking a runway strut while kicking up the sand with style.
Lyra shook her head. "Okay, Rarity wouldn't kill for that. Do something that went against her element? Absolutely."
"Murder is pretty antithetical to her element." C-Side said.
"...Or she'd just ask for a sample of fabric from your garb, to see if she couldn't replicate it with magic woven into normal fabric." Bon Bon replied.
"I don't think that's possi.... hmm." CD paused for a moment. "Could Skaian properties be substituted for Equestrian magic...?" She went silent for a bit. After a while, she only furthered her curiosity by muttering, "And vice versa...?"

She suddenly slipped on something on the ground and faceplanted into the scalding earth. She yelped in pain, and inspected her snout, which was definitely bleeding from the nose. “Aauuggh, fuuuuuck.” C-Side hissed, and brushed off the sand and blood from her mouth.
“Are you ok? What happened?” Lyra asked CD.
“We tripped on...” CD looked and shuffled around to see what exactly she was talking about. A little object clinked against the stone, they all saw it, and Lyra picked it up with her magic to get a better look.
“It’s some kind of metal.. shell..?”

CD’s eyes shrank to pinpricks. “Yeah that- that’s a bullet casing.” she said flatly, before immediately getting as low to the ground as she could and surveying the landscape.
“What are you doing?”
“Just do as I do until we get into cover!” C-Side ordered. Lyra followed suit, no questions asked. “Keep an eye out for any flashes in the distance. Like you know how if you see someone pointing a telescope at you, the sun makes it flash in the distance? Like that. A low profile makes you harder to hit.”
“I don’t see what all the fuss is abou-”

A crack went off in the distance, followed by a ZZZZ-FFFT. A bullet pierced the ground between Bon Bon and Lyra, sending chunks into the air. “FUCK IT! MOVE!” C-Side screamed.
Bon Bon dashed out perpendicular to where the bullet came from. CD opted to fly into the air, yanking out her bow and aiming back towards the gunfire, before looking back and seeing what Bon Bon was doing.
“NO! NOT THAT WAY! GOING WIDE MAKES YOU AN EASIER TARGET!” C-Side screamed. Bon Bon skidded to a halt, and felt another bullet whizz by her mane. She whipped her head to where Lyra would’ve been, only to see nothing there. She turned back around and realized - Lyra hadn’t moved yet. She was frozen in place, shaking. CD was firing volleys of arrows back at their assailant, not taking the time to aim properly at all, but it seemed to be a big enough threat to make her a priority target. Whoever was firing their gun took aim specifically at CD, who used her aerial ability to dodge and shoot at the same time. Bon Bon dashed back to Lyra, and yanked her into motion. “Lyra, come on!!” She shouted. Lyra came back to her senses, and moved alongside Bon Bon as they made a break for a large rock along the cliff face.

“ZIG-ZAG! MOVE UNPREDICTABLY!” C-Side advised, somehow aware of the fact that they’d be moving in a straight line. the mares took the advice to heart, scrambling back and forth, side to side, before they pressed up against the massive rock which was twice their size, both of them shaking and panting. They knew they weren’t out of the woods yet, and needed to come up with a plan quickly. Lyra tested the weight of the rock in front of them, and then decided to try something.

“Bonnie! Push the rock with me!” Lyra engulfed the rock in magic, and pushed against it with all of her strength. Bon Bon didn’t even ask questions, she followed alongside Lyra as they rolled the rock forwards together, towards the gunfire. Adrenaline pumped through the both of them as they strained to stay focused, and more importantly, alive.

CD ducked into the rock alongside them, and began pushing as well, occasionally stopping to fire off another volley of arrows at their attackers. The bullets embedded themselves into the rock, never truly damaging their cover, but making its danger well known.

“Okay - so - they have a gun - that’s human technology. It’s basically a really complicated tube that takes a metal package full of a really explosive material, sets it off, and uses the explosion and resulting pressure to send that metal out really fast and it’s very dangerous as my reaction has very obviously tipped you off,” C-Side was stammering and shivering a bunch against the rock, having to steady herself to fire off more arrows.

“EXPLAIN IT LATER!” Bon Bon shrieked.

“OKAY OKAY I’M SORRY” C-Side shouted in response.
As they grew closer, they began to grow fatigued. CD advised that the agents stop for a momentary breather, since the shooter couldn’t hit them behind the rock, and CD had way more stamina.
“Just stay here until I clear the path. I think we’re close enough that I can reach them with flight and take them out.” The moment she left, she had another bout of shivers that gave Pinkie’s pinkie sense a run for its money. She ducked back behind the rock, and gave them one last warning.

“They might try and flush you out with a grenade. A bomb. If they throw anything that looks like a... a really smooth pineapple - or a stick with a metal end on it - either send it flying away from you with your magic or move. You don’t wanna be in the blast radius.”
CD flew up and out over the end of the valley, ready to fire off at anything there.

“I don’t like the fact that she knows this much about human weaponry.” Bon Bon admitted, taking a beat to regain her breath.
“You have to admit it’s helpful in a situation like this..”

Another few gunshots went off, before the sounds of a physical fight broke out. Bon Bon and Lyra nodded at each other, and moved from the rock. As they galloped hard against the sand, Bon Bon swung around her trusty grappling hook, and threw it to the cliff. It snagged, and provided enough tensile strength to allow the mares to climb up. As they crested over the edge, they saw CD on the ground, panting and beaten up. A track of strange hoofprints showed the assailant running back into a large cave in front of them.

After healing her wounds somewhat, CD stood at the entrance of the cave. She turned to face the other two.
“Look, I- I still feel like whatever’s in there is beyond you. I’m not- I’m not insulting your skill, I’m just saying that there’s a creature with a gun in there. There could be more. I’m just.. If you wanna back out, say it now, please.”
Nothing. C-Side grimaced, but nodded.

Inside, the trio found a massive statue of some kind of organ. It seemed to pulse as if it was made of real meat, but its entire form was composed of thick, metal chains, tangled together like muscle fiber. It looked like parts of it had been ripped out, replaced with pockets of burbling blood and fire. It was hooked up to a mound of indeterminate material underneath, shrouded by the shadow the Heart was casting, despite the obvious lack of a proper light. It tilted towards CD, like it seemed to recognize her arrival, and it gurgled metallicly. Shadowy figures emerged from the mass below it, with white beady eyes darting around. They walked on two legs, and the second they saw CD, they raised their weapons at her.

CD pulled out a bottle of alcohol and the lighter from before, stood on two legs, blew a pillar of fire at the enemy, blinding them momentarily. Two of them charged at CD, the other two raised their weapons. Bon Bon whipped her grappling hook at one of the creature’s heads, knocking it down on the ground. Another attempted to fire at Bon Bon, only for its gun to get knocked out from Lyra magically blasting it. That one charged toward Lyra, only for Bon Bon to jump up and drop kick it. CD continued to fight, breathing fire with Dandy’s strife style. She brandished more bottles of whiskey, throwing them straight at the third entity, and then gaining some distance by threatening the alcohol with more fire. The creature kept their distance, only to be kicked in the back by Bon Bon. Seeing the last one get surrounded by Lyra and Bon Bon, CD flew up toward the Heart of Iron, opting to shoot arrows at the heated pustules it bore. The first few popped satisfyingly, bleeding out onto the ground, but then a heavy THUMP made the world around them shake. Bon Bon and Lyra felt themselves grow woozy, and fall to the floor. CD hit the ground, and stood back up, only for the thump to happen again. Lyra felt a searing pain in her horn, Bon Bon in her hooves, and CD in her whole body. Colorful wisps of magic were pulled away from them, taking away their advantage.

Bon Bon and Lyra gasped as they felt their magic get sapped away, and saw CD collapse to the floor, Luna's alicorn magic being taken by the heart. CD began to writhe, screaming profanities in agony. Bon Bon strained to get a good look, only to see that CD’s body was horridly mutating - scales, fur, and skin mixed around each other, her body contorting claws along her hooves turning into human fingertips at the end, her tail’s fur twisting around a thick scaly base, only for bone to be exposed at the end. CD tried her damnedest to stand up, only for her legs to shift in various directions, making her fall again. In a last bid of desperation, she flopped towards Bon Bon and Lyra, and gasped the words, “Go! Get out of here! You’re more important than we are!” As she spoke, her vocal cords retched and recoiled into different tones. Her eyes flashing into different shapes, different irises, different colors, tearing up. The bipedal figures surrounded her, pointing their rifles right at her rapidly, chaotically mutating body, ready to fire.

But they couldn’t escape without their magic. Lyra simply scooted close to Bon Bon, and held her as tightly as her weakened body could.
"I think we're done for. This is how we die."
"Lyra.. there's.. something I wanted to tell you. For a while now, I've always thought of you as more than a best friend. I've.."
"Bon Bon - we've been sharing a bed for weeks since Doodle and Matilda’s wedding."
"I know!! Just let me say it before we die!! I love you, dammit!!"

CD didn’t even see the kiss. She was too focused on the pain of her body’s mutation.
A massive burst of chromatic affection shot out from Lyra’s horn, tearing and ricocheting through the cavern. The iron heart began to rust from the sudden magical burst, and the soldiers that emerged from the mass held their fire for a minute, looking around confused, as if they didn't know where they were. They saw each other, and lowered their weapons. The tendrils connected to each soldier's spine snapped as the rusted iron flaked away, leaving nothing but men standing in this cave.

The heart fell the floor, still grasping onto Luna's magic, only for the heart to be gripped tight by CD, and then captchalogued. The alicorn magic shot back into CD, to which her body violently spasmed back into an acceptable form. Only then did she pass out from the strain.

Lyra and Bon Bon's magic returned, the vitality along with it. Lyra jumped up to check on CD, only to be pushed back down by Bon Bon as a creature over twice her height stood next to CD. These creatures - the agents could only assume they were human - tried to figure out what was going on. They were wearing differing outfits, and their accents were varied.
“Where the hell are we?” One soldier, a mare, from the sound of it, asked in confusion.
“I- I don’t know. I was in jungle last I remember, not a desert cave..”

“Okay, well, you got names?”
"Private Luke Jonesy, ma'am." One accent, Bon Bon equivocated to that of a Canterlot accent. Posh, and fancy.
"Sargeant Fred Jones-Grover." Another, much more like the southwestern accents like that of Applejack and her kin.
"uh.. Just Matt Grover. And you?" The third, she couldn’t quite place.
"Eris... Megido." For some reason, she just sounded like a griffon. Throaty, thick, and gravely.
“You got a rank, lady?” Fred asked.
“Just another soldier in another war. I’m just confused by your uniforms. I know there’s a lot of enthusiasts in America, but jeez, World War One? Have you been outside lately, Luke?”
“What do you mean, ‘World War One’? ‘S only the great war goin’ on right now, love.”
“The Great War happened thirty years ago.” Fred countered.
“N- no what? I’m not tripping. I swear. I’m here because I got drafted into ‘Nam.” Matt muttered aloud.
“...I’m from the year 2027. The second American civil war started last year.”

They looked at each other, weirded out in their own special ways.
“Fuck it. Let’s just get out of here and figure out where the hell we are.” Eris turned to the entrance and started walking.
“Hey, w-wait! Uh, miss Eris?” Matt stammered.
“What?”
“Should we.. can we eat that?” Matt pointed at CD’s unconscious body.

“...No.”
“Why not?”
Eris gulped. “It’s wearing... clothes. See that garb? It looks kind of religious, what with the symbol and ornate decoration. It might be sentient. Hell, it might even be a sign of civilization nearby.”
“Yeah, but like. It’s just a lizard, and I don’t think. I don’t think we’re gonna be finding any more food soon.”
“Your fault for not packing more rations, sonny.” Fred shrugged. “Get your rear in gear. If this thing has any authority, it’ll be taking us in.”
“Could hold it prisoner.” Luke suggested. “Maybe force its people to give us supplies in exchange for its life.”
The others looked at each other, and nodded a murmured agreement.

“Alright, who’s the least wounded here?” Fred growled.
“I uh, I guess me.” Matt groaned.
“Right. Well since I’m Sergeant here, I outrank everyone. I’m taking charge. You, pick up that lizard, and take it with us. Worse comes to worse, we’ll eat it before we eat each other. We’re gonna need to find water and food. Eris, you hunt down any prey. Rabbits, snakes, rodents - hell, there might be horses out here. Shoot it, skin it, prep it for jerky. Luke, keep an eye out for any potential ambushes. Let's move out.”

Lyra was shaking. Everything Celestia said was turning out to be true!
And then the impromptu platoon left with an unconscious CD slung over one of the human’s shoulders, out toward Equestria.