At My Worst

by Erynaster1504

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Romance, Anon, Second Person, Pipp Petals, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Self Insert
Length: 3738

Picture-perfect Pipp Petals has always been the epitome of perfection, or so the public assumes. Behind that flawless facade, however, was a mare you've come to adore. For all her sweet little imperfections.

You and Pipp have something special. She just gets you in a way nopony else does, and vice versa.

Bad days are nothing new for the two of you. You've seen worse, and heck, you've braved every storm that came your way together, just as you've always done in the past. Side-by-side.

One glum afternoon at your place, you begin to wonder why. But little did you know that one harmless interaction could lead to more than you would have ever bargained for...

Cover art not mine! Check out Marenlicious on DeviantArt!

EDIT: Featured on 4/2/2023!

Published 2023-02-04 05:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-04 05:50:00 UTC

Soft to The Touch

The window upon which your cheek rests is cold, but you don't mind. It's been a scorching-hot day so far, which makes the telltale signs of rain clouds brewing in the distance a welcome sight to any. A steady downpour was what you needed to drown out the heat of the day, which is what led you to where you were at this very moment: killing time at a heavily air-conditioned café on the outskirts of town.

The Crème Bean was one of the few places you and Pipp frequented a lot in the early days of your friendship. It held a lot of nostalgic value in your eyes, despite being an out-of-the-way establishment tucked away in a corner between the run-down plaza and mall. Forgotten for the most part, it was frequented either by students looking for a cheap meal after classes at the nearby university would end; or by glum, burnt-out retail workers looking for some peace and solitude around lunch hour. It was usually the latter.

A somber-looking waitress approaches you, pen and notebook in hoof. There's a brief exchange regarding your order, before she leaves to make her way back into the kitchen. You don't have to wait long before she emerges once more, carrying two sodas on a tray. Complete with bendy-straws.

"Thank you."

The waitress nods, leaving you alone to be with your thoughts. You resume gazing out the darkened window, falling back into your solemn reverie. Pressing your face against the glass, you can see ponies frantically scurrying down the street, eyeing the sky with worry.

The cafe door opens with a chime, which you barely register. You're too fixated on the rumbling clouds on the horizon which were growing steadily darker and grayer by the second. It could rain at any moment now. Good thing you brought an umbrella.

"Poke."

You jump as a hoof gently prods you on the cheek. Unsticking the side of your face from the window, you turn and come face-to-face with none other than Pipp Petals, your unofficial best friend for life.

"Oh, hey, Pipp." You rub your cheek, which was still red from being pressed up against the glass. "Miss me much?"

"You act like we don't see each other every day." She chuckles. "Which we do, by the way. In case you forgot." The pegasus princess draws her hoodie back a little bit, causing her mane to spill out as she peers cautiously around the establishment.

"Don't worry, nopony will recognize you." You smile. "I love what you did with your mane, by the way. It suits you."

"O-Oh?" Pipp looks slightly taken aback. "Thank you. I didn't think you'd like it, but I'm glad you do."

Instead of sporting her usual wavy side swept hairstyle, Pipp's glossy purple locks were now tucked away neatly behind her ears, falling over her shoulders in a simple fashion. It was a casual, unassuming, and cute look on her. It suited her quite well.

"Here, take a seat." You gesture to the cushioned bench in front of you. "You look like you could collapse at any second."

"Ugh, tell me about it." Pipp groans as she flops down onto her seat, grumbling. "It's been a killer Tuesday. Pass me that soda."

"That bad, huh? Wanna talk about it?"

Droplets of water paint streaks on the window as rainfall ensues outdoors, a cozy ambience settling upon the warm indoors almost immediately. Pipp rants to you about her day, grumbling about a variety of stressors you could only imagine that a celebrity like her had to deal with each and every waking moment. It was rare to see her like this, as she usually maintained an air of unperturbed elegance while basking in the public eye. Behind that facade, however, you knew that she was a pony with cares and worries just like everypony else. At the end of the day, the beautiful Pipp Petals still had her fears.

“...and that’s how my day went.” Pipp sighs, leaning back into the cushions. “What about you, how was your day?”

You shrug your shoulders indifferently. Pipp raises an eyebrow at you.

“Oh? What’s up?”

You smile sadly at her.
“I…don’t want to talk about it.”

Her gaze doesn’t lift. She lifts her glass to her lips, taking a thoughtful draft of soda as her eyes continue to peer into your soul. You continue to smile at her, which she doesn’t return.

“Hey, how’s your album going?” You interject, perhaps too suddenly. Thankfully, her gaze relaxes as she ponders your question.

“Hmmm… I don’t want to think about that right now.” Pipp mumbles, downing the rest of her drink in one gulp. “It’s stressful enough knowing that I have to work on it eventually. I just want to forget about it, even just for a little while.”

“... I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“No, no, it’s fine! I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t, I might have skipped it entirely.” Pipp’s sad smile mirrors your own. “It’s just… I dunno, I haven’t been feeling in the best mood to write songs lately. Does that make sense?”

You nod. Words simply wouldn’t suffice at the moment, but you understood.

The rain outdoors grows heavier with each passing minute. You and Pipp sit there in silence, not a single word being passed between sips of cold soda. The silence is heavy, though outward appearances could give no indication of such.

“I honestly like it better when the weather’s like this.” You muse, eyes trained on a couple of droplets racing each other on the window.

Pipp eyes you curiously.

“Oh? What makes you think that?”

You shrug.

“It depends on my mood, I guess.” You tear your eyes away from the window. Your droplet had lost. “It’s probably just my opinion, but… you can never fully appreciate good weather when you’re down in the dumps.” You pause. “Just the same, you won’t be able to enjoy a heavy downpour like this when you’re doing your best to look for the sun.”

You down the rest of your drink, pushing the glass away from you. “It just feels nice when the weather speaks for you, you know?”

Pipp stares.

“You’re weird.” She giggles.

“I know.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that!” She smiles, turning to the window. “I get it. I guess we just see things differently, that’s all.”

You survey the pegasus with interest as she gazes out the foggy window. “Well?”

“Well, what?” She turns her attention back to you, tilting her head.

“Aren’t you going to tell me about what you think of all this?”

“Oh. Um…” Pipp clinks her hooves together. “... I don’t really like rain.”

You suppress the urge to chuckle.

“Is the fabulous Pipp Petals afraid of getting her mane wet?”

Pipp glowers at you from across the table, looking more like a red-faced cupcake than anything else. It’s hard not to laugh at this moment.

“Haha, sorry. I’m kidding.” You smirk. “That would be quite the tragedy, though.”

“You’re paying for our drinks.” She turns her nose up at you in disdain, though you can see the trace of a smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

“I guess that’s fair.”

The two of you share a laugh, causing a few heads to turn in your direction. You cut your laughter short almost immediately, grinning sheepishly at each other before hailing the waitress to your table.

“I’m starving.” Pipp mumbles. An unmistakable rumble can be heard, the source of which you could ascertain to have come from her stomach.

“Guess this one’s on me. Two regular chili-cheese fries, please.” You glance at Pipp. “... On second thought, make that a large.” You add, knowing that your companion was probably dying of hunger by now.

The dour-looking waitress nods before heading back into the kitchen, leaving you alone with the malnourished pegasus.You drum your fingers impatiently on the table while Pipp fidgets in place, anxiously peering over the counter and into the kitchen.

Pretty soon, the waitress re-emerges from the door, holding up a tray containing two greasy, steaming platters. The scent wafts over to you, and you can feel your stomach give a hearty rumble.

Oh yeah. The good stuff.

“Here ya go.” The waitress places the tray between you and Pipp before walking off without another word. You glance at Pipp, whose gaze was fixed entirely upon the tempting spread before you.

“Well? Aren’t you going to dig in?”

“W-What? Oh, right.” She reluctantly tears her eyes away from the food, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry Anon, but…um… I’m on a strict diet at the moment.”

“Come on, I know you’re hungry.”

Your offer was clearly weakening her resolve. She takes a hesitant look at the plate in front of her, seemingly trying to make up her mind about something before plunging forward into the mess, gobbling down mouthfuls of cheesy, chili goodness without a second-thought.

You chuckle, helping yourself to some food. A few ponies were peering concernedly at your table, having been alerted by the orgasmic-like moans coming from Pipp’s end. She seems untroubled, however. At the moment it would seem like her only concern was shoveling down as much fries as feasibly possible.

“Slow down there, princess. You’re gonna get a heart burn if you keep that up.” You joke, to which Pipp pauses for a moment to glare at you.

“Shuddup. I needed this.” She swallows another mouthful before finally coming to herself, wiping at her mouth with a napkin. “S-Sorry. I got a little carried away there.” She gives you a guilty smile.

You shrug, going back to your food. “No worries.”

“It’s just that—I haven’t been able to eat as much as I would’ve liked these past few weeks. My manager doesn’t want me to, er…get out of shape.”

You’re suddenly moved with pity for your best friend. She doesn’t look too happy at the moment, either.

“Pipp, are you sure—”

“I have to look good for my fans.” She shakes her head with a sense of finality. “I’m thankful for your concern, but this is just how it is.”

A sheepish grin finds its way to her muzzle as her attention returns to her food.

“... Screw the diet for now. This is my cheat day.”

You smile, watching as Pipp continues to help herself to some food. Faust knows the mare needed to eat more.

At the very least, you were happy that Pipp felt safe enough in your presence to let her guard down a little bit and loosen up, even if it was just like this. You glance at the window. The rain isn't letting up, but it doesn't worsen your mood any further than it did a while ago.

Cling! Cling!

The cafe doors open with a chime as you and Pipp step out of the building. The overhanging roof keeps the two of you from getting wet, and you take shelter beneath it for a moment as you think about how you were going to get home in this state.

“Damn, I didn’t expect the rain to last this long…” Pipp curses beneath her breath as she looks up at the darkened sky.

You pluck your umbrella from the rack by the doorway, holding it in front of you as you peer down the street.

“Wanna crash at my place for a while?” You suggest.

“Huh?” Pipp’s eyes widen.

“Well, seeing as we have only one umbrella, and you live way over there at the palace, and the fact that I don’t have any wings or any means of flight whatsoever…”

“Right, sorry.” She giggles embarrassedly. “But… are you sure it’s alright with you? I’ve already stayed at your place for like, what, three times already?”

You extend your arm to her in a gentlemanly fashion.

“Care to make it a fourth?”

Pipp’s cheeks take on a dusty blush, turning a shade of pink which was still visible upon her fuschia-pink coat.

“Oh, stop, you.” Pipp scolds you playfully, but wraps a wing around your midsection regardless. “Lead the way, mon ami.”

You lift the umbrella over your head, opening it up to make a small little canopy for the two of you to take shelter in. Pipp moves closer to you, pressing her side against you in an effort to remain dry. Chuckling at the adorable sight, you motion for her to follow as the two of you step out into the rain.

The apartment building comes into view as you and Pipp slowly meander down the sopping wet sidewalk. The rain isn't letting up, falling all around you and soaking the parts of you that weren't sheltered by the small umbrella.

"We're almost there…" You mutter, the sounds of heavy rainfall drowning out your voice.

The two of you eventually reach the doorway, where you and Pipp take the time to dry yourselves off in the shelter of an overhang before letting yourselves in.

The two of you enter the building, tiptoeing past the front desk where the landlord was fast asleep with a newspaper laid out before him. He doesn't stir as the two of you make your way up the creaking staircase.

"Rent's due…" You mumble. "Let him have his rest."

Pipp chuckles as you reach for the keys in your back pocket. They jingle a bit as you select the right one, inserting it into the keyhole of your apartment door.

CLICK!

You open the door, the faint scent of old paint and musty wood reaching your nostrils. It's a bare room, with gray walls on all sides and nothing but a few pieces of furniture in different places.

"I hope you'll stay for dinner. I could use some company." You heave your bag into an empty chair, unzipping your hoodie and hanging it by the door.

"If it's one of those microwavable meals again, I'll pass." Pipp makes a face.

"Hey, we can't all eat like royalty, you know." You grab a few hot pockets from the freezer, setting them on the counter. "May I interest you in some pizza pops?"

"... Fine." Pipp draws back her hoodie, settling down in an empty armchair.

You chuckle. "Looks like 'commoner's food' is more your style, huh?"

"Oh, shut up."

You look up at her. She's gazing out the window with an unreadable expression on her face. But you could tell from the way her ears were hanging low that there was something on her mind.

"Hey, Pipp, you okay?"

"I'm fine, Anon." She sighs.

You open your mouth, but close it again. Maybe it would be best not to press her at the moment. Silence would be the best option for now.

You toss the hot pockets in the microwave, but neglect to turn on the power. You're more concerned for your friend, who seems troubled by something.

"Hey Pipp? You can, uh, use my bed if you wanna lay down for a while. You look tired."

She seems to consider this. "Will you lay down with me?"

Her request takes you by surprise.

"Um, sure. If that's what you want."

Pipp unzips herself from her hoodie, leaving it on the armchair as she makes her way to your bed. You follow, still unsure about what she was getting at.

She hops onto your beddings, finding a comfortable place to settle down. She eventually finds a spot, letting herself sink into the mattress as she turns to face the foggy window. You place one foot on the mattress, heaving yourself onto the bed as you settle in next to your best friend.

"Comfy?" You ask.

"Mhmm." She nods, but says nothing else.

Raindrops splatter at the glass window as the monsoon grows steadily stronger. There's not much to see outside other than the fuzzy outlines of the neighboring buildings around you. Everyone is indoors by now, taking shelter from the tempest that had blown in without warning.

Pipp seems transfixed by the rain, yet she doesn't move a muscle. The only movement from her was the occasional twitch of her ears whenever a thunderclap would occasionally shatter the rainy ambience. Other than that, one might assume she was fast asleep, though her eyes were wide open and gazing.

"I thought you didn't like the rain." You mumble, keeping your voice low.

"I still don't." Pipp whispers back.

"Anything on your mind?" You ask tentatively. "I'm here to listen."

She's silent.

"Do you ever get tired, Anon?"

"Huh?" You're puzzled.

"I mean, do you ever get tired of everything? Do you ever get to that point where you feel like you're about to just… break?" Pipp's eyes shimmer in the sparse lighting. "Because I do. Every day."

"I…" You stop. "I think I know what you mean."

Pipp gazes at you hopefully. "You do?"

"Yes." You nod. "I do."

Pipp holds your gaze for a moment.

"Do you ever get tired of this—us?" She asks, her lower lip trembling.

"No, never." You reassure her, slipping an arm around her shoulder as you lean back against the headboard. "I never will, I promise you that."

This causes her to smile. Slightly.

"Good. Because I won't either." She sighs, turning away from the window and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "You're the best part of my day. My week, even."

You're taken aback by how close Pipp was getting with you right now. Physical affection was never her sort of thing, at least from what you knew about her.

"Pipp, this isn't just about your career, isn't it?"

She stiffens up, pulling back slightly.

"I guess not." Pipp sighs. "Anon, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Am I a selfish mare?" She whispers, gazing fearfully at you.

You're stunned. You weren't expecting a question like that.

"What? No—" You fumble. "Why would you think that?"

She's silent.

"Is it selfish for me to want you around, all the time?" Pipp ignores your question, speaking in hushed tones. "Because… I do. Every day. And it feels so, so wrong."

You can feel your face grow hot. This couldn't be what you think it is.

"Pipp, I need you to be honest with me for a moment." You begin, choosing your words carefully. "Can you do that?"

"Depends on your question." She says simply. "There are things that you're better off not knowing."

"And why is that?"

"Because it could ruin us. Forever." She whispers. "And you know I don't want that to happen."

The two of you go quiet as the rain takes up the empty silence.

"I'm just tired, Anon." She blurts out suddenly. "Tired of being the mask that everypony loves. I'm tired of pleasing everyone, tired of being loved by the ponies who don't even care. I'm tired of being somepony for everypony else."

She sniffles.

"I'm tired of being the Pipp Petals that everyone seems to know. That my friends know. I'm just…tired of making everyone happy. Because—because I want to be happy too."

"Shhh, it's okay, Pipp." You gently rub her back as she finally breaks. "I'm here."

You hold the embrace for a few minutes, gently caressing the mare in your arms as she lets out all the pent-up emotions she's been hiding deep inside for so long. She needs this.

It's not long before she starts to speak again.

"...That's another thing. You." Pipp slowly looks up at you, her eyes shimmering wet in the gloom. "I've never felt more like me in my whole life. You're my best friend, Anon. And those times where I felt the most like myself, those were the times when I was with you."

"I've never felt so…happy. You were there for me when I was at my worst. When I was such an unlovable mess that even my own sister didn't bother to check on me. You were there, Anon…a-and now, you're here too. I really can't thank you enough."

Pipp falls silent, sniffling as you attempt to absorb all that she said.

"You didn't just come with me to my apartment just to say 'thank you', didn't you, Pipp?"

"... No, I guess I didn't." Pipp composes herself, gazing at you strangely. "I think you can figure that out."

You pause. The rain outside grows steadily distant as you ponder upon everything that was said between you two.

You're quite sure your feelings were correct.

"Pipp, do you…love me?"

And with that, Pipp leans forward to whisper her answer directly into your ear, before pulling you into a sudden kiss. You hold the kiss for about a minute or two before breaking apart, gazing at each other in shock.

"That felt so wrong." Pipp mumbles. "And yet...it felt so right."

"Tell me about it." You nod, still wide-eyed in shock. It had all happened so quickly. "Um…thanks. I think I needed that."

Pipp giggles nervously. She embraces you, wrapping her downy, well-kept wings around your body. She's soft to the touch.

"I think we both needed that. Badly."

You chuckle. "Yeah, I guess we did."

"So I guess it's safe to assume that you feel the same?" Pipp asks, awaiting your response.

You don't answer. You lean in, slowly this time. You place a hand beneath her chin, tilting her head up to meet your gaze. She pauses, waiting for your consent, before leaning in and closing the distance between your lips as your hearts beat in unison. It's not a passionate kiss, more like an exchange of emotions between two souls who understood each other. It all felt so right. And yet so wrong at the same time.

But who cares at this point, really?

Minutes pass. Nothing more is said between you two. All is known, and all is well.

The rain begins to quiet down, reduced to nothing but a slight drizzle as the tempest slowly wears itself out. In the midst of the growing calm, you find that Pipp had dozed off, still in your arms. You chuckle softly, planting a light kiss on her forehead. She smiles in her sleep, tightening her grip around your midsection as she sighs softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Author's Note

Tadah~

Not many people have written for Pipp, so I decided to give it a go. I hope I've written her well in this one.

Have great day/night, everypony.