A Little Patch of Heaven...
As the sun finally rose on the quiet town of Sagiville, the slumbering occupants rose from their beds to go about their day. At first glance, the town seemed like any other that dotted the vast landscape of the Buffalo Herder Lands, with a saloon, general store, a trading outpost, and mail station lining the dusty Main Street. However, the occupants weren't your typical sort of people.
A few years prior, there had been a miraculous event that reshaped the entire world. A planet from another universe, called Eques, had a magic disaster happen that caused the entire planet to jump planes as a failsafe to prevent total annihilation after its moon’s orbit started to decay and the sun started to heat up from the forces of Entropy. As a by-product, Eques and Earth fused to preserve the last traces of magic in Eques’ ley lines, using Earth’s own as an additional fuel source to recharge. At first, there was mass panic, partly due to human nature while also coping with the fact that talking, sentient bipedal ponies now walked alongside them. Naturally, peace was offered, and accepted by the ruling princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle on the condition that they help humans with advancing technology. The treaty was brokered on the steps of the White House in Washington, D.C., which was conveniently located on the outskirts of Canterlot, and for a short while all was well until a villainous changeling by the name of Thermitis led an explosive mutiny against her queen, Chrysalis, and the United States government. This led to the treaty breaking down and wide-scale war breaking out, with Chrysalis using the U.S. Pre-existing expansion west as an excellent cover to disguise herself and flee to the northwest in search of Alaskan gold until things settled down a little. Back east, even the changelings were split between their loyalty to Chrysalis and Thermitis, with sneaky defectors slipping west themselves to try and teach others magic in an attempt to coerce them to their side.
Which led to the unique circumstances that made Sagiville special.
Nobody in town was human, but rather a wide diversity of hybrids, ranging from donkey, feline, canine, sheep, and a few goats that had moved from other regions. However, those groups were the minority compared to those of equine heritage, with half-Mustangs, pegasi, and unicorns accounting for over 70% of the town's populace. In addition,at least half of them had been turned into their animalistic forms either from a curse or aggravating the wrong zebra or buffalo shaman. There were even a few who had been changed by a Dark Mage unicorn that had been hellbent on world control only for them to be slaughtered on a sting in France, though some of the newest residents were born into the world after their parents had moved there. With nowhere else to turn, and to ensure survival, the federal government in Canterlot D.C. Founded Sagiville as a safe haven for them to live quietly without fear of being hunted down for trophies or being treated as mere animals. Although they did have the occasional ruffian come in and stir up trouble, the sheriff was usually able to stop them before they got too far. This led to most days revolving around the celestial clock of sunrise and sunset, the residents going about their days in relative peace.
The rising sun not only offered warmth for everyone in town and signaled the start of a brand new day, but it also served as a natural alarm clock for everyone to get about their jobs. Many, especially the older folk, hated seeing the flaming ball creeping up over the horizon, and more than once an old timer with a rebellious streak had tried, and failed, to shoot it out the sky. As the warm rays peeked through the curtains of the Rainboom Saloon’s 2nd-floor residential suite, the light from it stirred awake Sheriff Joseph and his wife Hazel Moore, who served as the owner of the saloon. The two half-pegasi sat up on their bed and stretched out their wings and arms, a daily ritual to ensure that nothing cramped on their morning flight that they normally had after breakfast.
"I got a busy day ahead," Hazel said, looking over her husband's wings to ensure that none of her husband’s feathers had gotten broken as they slept. While most of the feathers were white, they gradually transitioned to sky blue at the tips, giving her the sensation that she was wrapped in her own personal cloud when Joseph held her. "A new shipment should be arriving any day now, and I want to get a jump start on making sure this place is clean from top to bottom."
"Kinda hard to do with all the dust outside," Joseph laughed, earning a playful jab from his wife as he returned her favor by looking over her wings, pulling two feathers that had come loose from her left secondaries. While his feathers were vibrant like his white, blue, and brown coat, Hazel’s feathers matched her clay-brown fur. It reminded him of the fresh soil in a well-toiled field before planting a harvest, and it helped to keep him grounded in his actions. "Come on darlin', you know I'm just messin' with you. I'm pretty sure that most of the people here in town have the same thought, especially during the dry season when we get hit by a dust storm."
"Dry season?" Hazel smirked, a slight gleam in her eyes at being gift-wrapped with an opportunity to get even. "It is always the dry season! Why, some days I think we are winged dust bunnies instead of pegasi, since those darn storms are too strong for us to contain."
"I flew right into that one, didn't I?" Joseph chuckled, rubbing Hazel's ears until she softly cooed, her gray tail swishing in contentment. "Now come on, we have wasted enough time, lets's get our day going."
Standing up and getting changed into their work attire, consisting of their uniforms and horsesocks, they made their way to the bathroom to brush their teeth and comb their manes, before heading downstairs to the main dining area for their breakfast.
Once at the bottom, the two headed into the kitchen. Originally nothing more than an attached shack with a single burner stove, it had grown in sync with the town's population. Now with multiple stoves of both the charcoal and wood-burning variety, it gave the citizens a choice on how they wanted the result of their meals to taste. Lunch and dinner were always massive crowd rushes, but this early in the morning, it was always just the couple in the kitchen with Joseph handling pancakes and Hazel making fresh juice from apples provided by a local farmer.
"You know, I was doing some thinking last night about the conversation we had over dinner," Hazel said, walking into the empty dining area and sitting at one of the tables as Joseph shortly followed with their food and utensils. "I was just curious, have you made up your mind yet?"
"There were a lot of things we discussed last night dear," Joseph said, taking a seat and slowly started cutting into his three-pancake short stack. "Which thing in particular are you referring to?"
"You know good and well which thing I am talking about," Hazel said, the sharpness in her tone making Joseph stop eating mid-chew. It was a tone he knew all too well when he was on her backside, making him put up his guard. "Who's going to be the deputy?"
"Hmm…" Joseph hummed, swallowing his bite as he closed his eyes in concentration, his cyan tail limp at his side. "Well, I know I had a few hours last night to think it over-"
"You're stalling," Hazel narrowed her eyes and steeled her glare, a technique that she knew always made her husband surrender in an argument. "You haven't picked yet, and are trying to beat around the barrel to avoid getting me mad. Am I wrong?"
"Guilty as a cattle rustler," Joseph sighed, tapping his fork against his plate. "The main problem is just how quiet it gets around here. No real robberies, there's the occasional 'master species' wacko that comes by, but they're usually shooed off with a quick warning shot. The times that there was a robbery, it never got too violent besides me having to clock them on the head with my hoof, but other than that, I never really had to rely on a deputy when we're off flying or hiking around the mountain. As friendly as everyone is with each other, we are like an extremely large family, we take care of ourselves but also have each other's backs."
"True," Leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms, a small sigh escaped from Hazel's lips as she relaxed her posture. "Still, you know what they say, 'hope for the best'..."
"But prepare for the worst," Joseph sighed, knowing that there was no way to talk his wife out of her concern. "Alright dear, you win, I'll post an opening on the message board when I get to my office."
"Good," Hazel smiled, resuming her meal satisfied that she had once again gotten through her dear sheriff's stubbornness. "These are delicious by the way, the syrup and butter really make the flavor pop."
"Anything for you darling," Joseph smiled, taking a drink of juice. "Changing topics, what about you? Weren't you planning on getting that stage fixed for the occasional performer that passes through, or are you just afraid of McDougal doing karaoke again?"
"You know what happened last time," Hazel groaned, a headache forming just from the memory of what had transpired that night. "I understand that he's the town miner, but I don't need the added agony of hearing him sing."
"I know you have a hard time with him but that old goat is stubborn and stuck in his ways," Joseph said, holding out his hands in a pro-vs-con manner. "It's better not to annoy him, you know how he is with that dynamite of his, for not just our sake, but everyone else as well. Not only that if you refuse to allow him, you know what he'll do, and I do not like putting the cuffs on his wrists. That only makes getting head-butted worse, and could set a bad standard to any traveling passerby that might drop in."
"Got me there," Hazel sighed, taking the last few bites of her breakfast knowing that Joseph had a good point. If a traveler heard she had banned the goat and spread the word, the inn and town itself would suffer. "Fine, I do suppose his voice is better than hearing dynamite detonate at all hours of the night."
"No kidding, nothing sucks worse than being jolted awake and our fight-or-flight response makes me hit the ceiling," Joseph laughed, finishing his food and gathering the dishes to wash them. "Although, if it makes you feel better, I'll have a noise ordinance set up so that he can't."
"I'd appreciate that," Hazel giggled, wrapping a wing around her stallion in a comforting embrace. "Then again, what kind of standard would that set to any would-be prospectors that come to our cozy little town that the sheriff will restrict their mining time?"
"Shoot…" Joseph froze, looking at his smiling wife before erupting in laughter. "Guess that idea has blasted off again."
Finishing the morning chores, and a few quick flight laps later, Joseph kissed Hazel goodbye before departing down the street towards his office. When the town had been first built, the two of them weren't a couple, but more than once since their wedding he had the thought of moving his office next to the inn denied by Hazel; her point being that if his office was right next door, it put her and the lodgers at a higher risk of being hit by a stray bullet if, as she had kept putting it, 'shit hit the fan worse than a donkey kicks a steel can'.
"At least MacDougal hasn't started his morning blasting yet," Joseph muttered, straightening his stetson as a gust of dry desert air nearly knocked it off his head. Glancing around, he noticed the general store had not opened yet, but it did remind him to make a mental note to head there later for some milk and butter.
Reaching his office and opening the door, Joseph made his way over to his desk and sat down in his trusty chair, putting some reading glasses on and taking a look at the latest newspaper. While the kids loved to read it for the comic strips from back east, and a few others were interested in the sports and mining updates, as sheriff he read the paper for the wanted ads. Even with Sagiville being a few days away from the nearest settlement, he still kept a close watch on the crime best, just in case he had to interfere or be on the lookout for one who would threaten his humble town.
"Now that is something you don't see every day," The paper had been gifted to him by a group of drakes that had stopped for a meal two days prior, but the $10,000,000 reward, in solid gold, was too good to overlook. "A changeling warrior, wanted for desertion… and a laundry list of minor things to boot. Definitely going to be keeping an eye out for this 'un."
"Hey, Sheriff!" A shrill female voice yelled, kicking open the door when her shout went unanswered due to the stallion being addressed only paying attention to the newspaper. "JOSEPH!"
"What?!" Joseph may not have been as young as he used to be, but that didn't mean he still couldn't move when he needed to. Years of defending the town had heightened his flight or flight response, but at the same time made him slightly jumpier to sudden movement or noise. So, the moment the door was kicked open, he jumped up in his seat and aimed his revolver at the door only to sigh when he saw who the intruder was. "Ah, hello Aurora Weaver, what can I do for you?"
"I think you know what got me fuming," Aurora, the clearly-angry unicorn mare, said as she slammed her hand down on his desk and caused the wood to crack a little bit. "What in tarnation is taking the resupply so long?! I was told that it would be here last week and it still hasn't come, I got to keep my stock fed ya know?"
"Now Aurora," Joseph said, calming his voice as he let out an annoyed snort. "You know I don't control the post, and I also recommend you control your temper. This was a new desk after the last one got broken from McDougal getting drunk and ramming it, and I don't want to have to buy a new one anytime soon!"
"That ol' goat is always smashing and blasting," Aurora snorted, her nostrils flaring as she glared at him. "Yeah well, you're the sheriff, you should be finding out what happened to it. After all, stagecoaches just don’t disappear overnight!"
"You don't think I know that?!" Joseph was mad, mad to the point he wished he had a horn to teach the mare a thing or two about manners. Resolve was out the window, and his good mood from earlier had evaporated like the morning dew. "That may be the case, but that doesn't give you the right to just come barging in here and complain about it. I give you my word that I will look into it later if it becomes a serious problem. However, for now you will have to wait until further notice like anybody else here in town. Even the mayor is waiting for the post, and that is a slightly higher priority due to the fact she is awaiting letters from her family considering the health of her sick mother."
"See?!" Aurora exclaimed, her horn glowing slightly as she fixed the deck, but that didn't quell her temper. "It is serious! And you need to-"
"ENOUGH!" Joseph cut her off mid-rant by standing up and flaring his wings, his tail swishing furiously. "You will not threaten me in my own office. I understand that whatever you have ordered is important, but that does not give you the right to order me around. Since you are so hellbent on being a fucking cunt right now, if it does not arrive in three days, I'll fly out and investigate. Until then, you will wait or I'll have you arrested for threatening an officer of the law. Understood?"
"Fine…" Aurora said, begrudgingly trying to calm down to avoid having to spend a night or two in the klink. "I have to get back to the ranch anyway, the stock's hooves need a deep cleaning."
"Well, it would be wrong on ya to keep them waiting," Joseph chuckled, making the unicorn mare fume as she pouted and turned for the door. However, a quick thought made him reconsider driving her off so soon. "Hey Aurora, if ya got a sec, I was curious if ya had any strange happenings o'er at your place?"
"Strange happenings?" Aurora paused, her earlier agitation seeming to disappear as she thought over the question. "Now that you mention it, I do recall being a few heads short when me, Shock, and Sunny were tending to the cattle this morning…"
"Well, there were a few cattle rustlers in the area," Joseph said, writing down the ones he had glazed over in the paper, with descriptions of their appearances, before Aurora levitated the list over to her to read. "Perhaps, maybe the elusive buffalo knows a thing or two? You seem to be the only one here in town that has at least some established basis with them, that would be very valuable as a lead considering how much they roam around."
"Hang on now Joseph," Aurora said, a slightly annoyed snort coming out as she narrowed her eyes. "That may be true, but they are good folk. They don't like the fact this town was built on their hand, hell, they don't like the fact my ranch is either, but I fucking earned their respect the hard way and that is a trust I honor. They want no part of the clutterbuck back east, and are downright fearful about that proposed railway running to San Francoltsco; rather, they prefer to keep to themselves. With that being said, if you think for one second that I will subject them to questioning you can-"
"Aurora, calm down girl!" Leaping out of his seat, it only took one flap of his wings to glide up over the desk and firmly place his hands on the unicorn's shoulders. "I am not asking you to question them, for there are other ways to get information that doesn't involve direct tactics, all I am saying is to see if any of their trail runners have seen anything odd. Think about it, not even the mayor realizes how critical of a role you have as being the bridge between us and the buffalo, in fact, I would say you are the most important member of this community. Who knows? Maybe one of them spotted something that we have no insight of that would prolong the post and increase the delay."
"You got a point there," Aurora muttered, rubbing her chin for a few moments before nodding. "Alright, I'll do it, but I better get an extra sack of coffee beans in exchange."
"That can be arranged, now, if there is no further business you can leave." Joseph said, walking back to his desk and sitting back in his chair as off in the distance he heard a familiar BOOM that made him chuckle. "Good 'ol McDougal, right on cue."
While Joseph was tending to the bounty pages and handling Aurora, back at the saloon, the breakfast rush had finally kicked into high gear. Hazel was talking to the Porters, a family of donkeys, who were finishing looking at their menus. "Good morning, what can I get for you today?"
"Some pancakes with strawberry syrup for me," Mr. Porter said, folding his menu as the rest of the family shifted in their seats to a more relaxed position. "My wife would like the potato hash, no meat, Matilda would like brown sugar and molasses oatmeal, and Guenevere would like some Prench toast."
"Alright, one potato hash, one order of pancakes with strawberry syrup, a bowl of Oatmeal, and french toast." Hazel said, double-checking the order as each Porter nodded when their request was repeated back to them. "Would you like to add anything to drink? I'm doing a breakfast special this weekend, kids get unlimited free refills with the purchase of one adult-sized beverage."
"Well now, that is a good bargain," Mr. Porter chuckled, shaking his head in amusement at his children's eager faces, knowing from the family trips back east to fashion conventions what their choices would be. "In that case get some coffee for me, tea for the wife, and some chocolate milk for the kids."
"Alright, I'll have those out for you soon." Hazel finished writing the order down, and, once making sure the other townsfolk were taken care of, headed to the kitchen to give the cook the Porters' order. "Got another one Belle… Hash no meat, oatmeal sweet and thick, and a Prench shorty."
"I will be right on it boss," The cook, a chipper Clydesdale with a strawberry coat and a chestnut-brown mane and tail said as she added the order to the ticket stack. "You need to let them know it will be a few, I am backed up already since Jo is down with a cold. Kinda hard to keep up when I’m by myself."
"The Porters are good people, they will understand." Re-entering the dining area and giving the Porters the news, she lifted in relief that her hunch had been correct. The entire family gave her their word they would wait, which freed her up to resume serving. As she was, a unicorn mare with a yellow and red mane and tail, yellow horn, and pink fur and hooves with a patch of white just above the hooves, entered the saloon and waved at Hazel.
"Sunny!" Hazel said, smiling at the unicorn and returning the wave. "Good to see you down here, guess you were finally able to pull yourself from your ranch for once?"
"For once, yes," Sunny said, chuckling as she sat down at a nearby table. "Sorry I haven't been around as often, been busy back up at the Ranch."
"Well, it's good to have you down here." Hazel had known the mare for a long time, even before they had set off on the grand adventure of settling the untamed west. As such, she knew all of Sunny's likes and dislikes, including when it came to food. "The usual I presume?"
"Yes please, that'd be nice," Sunny said, twirling a loose strand of her mane with a finger. "Funny how I don't even need to tell you what it is, you got it memorized."
"Of course, I have known you for how long? I'll have that prepped for you!" Hazel knew Sunny's favorite, lemonade and a salad with some light ranch, was quick to make and required no cooking. With most of the patrons either eating or waiting for their meals to be made, she knew she had a few minutes before the next batch of orders were ready to leave the kitchen. Making the order herself, she came back out with it and sat down across from Sunny to give her hooves a few minutes' rest. "So, how have things been for you?"
"Oh, fairly quiet," Sunny said, humming in contentment at the freshness of the veggies. "No real big problems, how about you?"
"Fine for the most part," Hazel said, keeping her ears on the conversation but her eyes on the other patrons and the kitchen window just in case she had to suddenly spring into action. "Joseph said he's finally going to do something about the deputy issue."
"No kidding?" The surprise in Sunny's tone matched her expression, her eyes widening in shock. “Guess you finally got that stubborn stallion to do something about it, good for you."
"Trust me, it wasn't easy.” Hazel chuckled, finding humor in how Sunny took the news. “It took a stern talking to just to get him to do it, but at least now he is taking action. As the saying goes, better late than never."
"I can imagine,” Sunny said, pausing for a brief moment before shrugging her shoulders. She knew Hazel would never tell her what the exact details were, but she knew it had to have been good to get Joseph to cave. “He's more stubborn than a bull in heat."
"I'm pretty sure he gets that from his mother’s side of the family," Hazel’s gaze turned slightly distant as she thought about the last family reunion of Joseph’s she had went to. Despite her father-in-law treating her like one of his daughters, Joseph’s mother was the complete opposite. It had been bad enough they left the reunion early, but the details of what transpired were not important for the conversation. “His dad is extremely laid back and down-to-earth, and treats me as one of his kids. However, his mother lost everything she had invested out this way in the last famine we had out here a few years back, so she sees me as a source for her hate. I wish we had a mother-daughter-like bond but oh well, Joseph has his charms.”
"Oh he does,” Sunny said, nodding at the assertion. It was a bad kept secret that most of the females in town thought about him during their season, but it was a firm "look but do not touch" policy. "Still, it must be a pain in the flank at times when you two don't agree on something."
"It can be, but we always manage to find a compromise." Hazel said, giving her friend a knowing smirk. "Now, if he was as stubborn as McDougal, then we probably would need an outside opinion to break the tie."
"Don't get me started on him," Sunny groaned, a headache forming just at the thought of the old miner. "That stupid dynamite of his has scared my cattle more than once when I'm ranching them, it really is a bother at times."
"I think everyone in town feels like that from time to time,” Hazel sighed, straightening out a few wrinkles from her apron. "To be honest? I'm surprised he hasn't blown himself up yet, given his reputation."
"Agreed.” Sunny was about to add in another quip about the biggest thorn in her side when the bell next to the kitchen window rang, getting both her’s and Hazel’s attention. “Well, it looks like duty calls.”
“I believe so,” Hazel smiled, shaking her head slightly. "Its been nice talking with you, but I must get to work before I get an angry mob on my hands."
“Well, if that happened, I am not afraid to throw down you know,” Sunny winked, causing both mares to bust out laughing at the notion. "Still, have a good day Hazel, and tell Joseph I said hi."
“Oh, dontcha worry,” Hazel reassured as she got up and headed towards the kitchen. "I will."
Just after noon, when the sun was beating down and shade was virtually nonexistent, Joseph left his office and headed to the general store, General Idea, to pick up some milk and butter before heading to the saloon to pick up lunch. From the moment he walked into the building, which was lined with goods of all varieties, the smell of imported pine from the hardwood floors and oak shelving assaulted his senses and added a homey feeling to the space. He did not have long to think about it however, as the grandmother figure of Mrs. Ewestice Hoovinton smiled from her cashier station and waved him over.
"Good afternoon Sheriff,” The elderly goat asked, her tone inviting and took a slight edge off Joseph’s troubled thoughts. She was well known in the town to help any who needed some assistance, and there was even a rumor that the reason she was able to seemingly pull bits out of thin air was that she was a retired gun-for-hire. It was a rumor she neither confirmed nor denied, but even McDougal had taken part in speculating the source of her holdings. “How may I help you today?"
“Afternoon to you as well Mrs. Hoovinton,” Joseph smiled, tipping his hat in a polite gesture. “Just came in looking for some butter and milk before I head home for lunch with Hazel."
"Lovely!” Mrs. Hoovington beamed, her face lighting up at the fact he was doing an act of kindness for his wife. “Well, if you need any help, my husband should be back there sorting through the vegetables."
“Much obliged,” Joseph chuckled, making a joyful knicker as he grabbed a basket. Ignoring the wood-carved guns and riding horses that were for sale to cater for the children in the town, he trotted over to where the milk and butter were kept and grabbed two bottles of milk and three pounds of butter. Satisfied with the quantity, he headed up to pay for his milk and butter, but Ewestice’s husband Billy caught him before he could.
"Hey! Afternoon Sheriff," Billy said, walking over with a slight limp, his age showing in his gait. Unlike Ewestice, who still retained some brown roots amongst her gray fur, Billy was more white than gray. He was several years older than his wife, and needed a cane while moving around town, but seeing his fellow townsfolk always put a smile on his face. “It is a pleasure to have you into our store and thanks for keeping the town safe from unruly vermin.”
“Afternoon Billy,” Joseph turned to him and smiled, which crept bigger at seeing this was one of Billy’s better days since his limp was less noticeable. "Glad to see you are moving around well today, how have you been?"
"Just fine, thank you.” Billy said, putting a hand on Joseph’s shoulder to take some of the weight off his bad leg. Even with him being in less pain than normal, he was taking no chances, ensuring any flare-up would be less painful than it would otherwise. “How are you and the misses?"
"We're both fine,” Joseph knew that he had to keep the conversation as short as possible to keep the milk from turning sour in the heat. “Only complaint I have is we are trying to find a way to reduce the amount of dust that gets into the Saloon during the storms, so far all ideas have been a fool’s folly."
"Ah well, you'll both figure it out.” Billy chuckled, his bones rattling slightly as a result. “Hazel’s a smart woman and you are a clever man, the two of you will figure something out. I’m sure of it."
“I appreciate it, old friend,” Joseph said, humming as an idea formed on the spot. “Say, will we be expecting you to come to the saloon tonight during the dinner rush? I see it as a chance for us to fully catch up."
“Will it be on the house?” Billy smirked, seeing the playful look in Joseph’s eyes at the question. "Of course you will! Me and Ewe wouldn't miss it for the world!"
"Excellent!” Joseph was in a good mood, going a far to give an extra 8% on his purchase as he bagged his groceries. “I'll let Hazel know about you two coming tonight, I think she can even arrange to have some of that spiced rum cabbage stew you love so much be prepared in advance."
"Thanks very much Sheriff!” BIlly felt twenty years younger at the thought of having some of his favorite stew, something he could handle on fewer occasions as he had gotten older. His dear wife blamed his current health on how much he had that dish in his youth, but he insisted that notion was mere hogwash and the blame was more on not drinking enough milk. “We both appreciate it, see ya around seven.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Joseph said moving towards the door, satisfied that there would be some time later in the evening to prepare the special stew. Making it was easy, the temptation to not drink the rum however, was far more challenging. “See ya then!”
Joseph was about ready to pull his mane out. Almost immediately after posting the open deputy position on the community message board, effectively every crazy and trigger-happy Sagiville resident had lined up. From a unicorn that was too quick on the draw, to an unhinged and mentally unbalanced sheep, each and every applicant was verifying his gut feeling that it had been a bad idea in the first place. The last applicant that had come in, an overly twitchy donkey that clearly just wanted a gun, almost blew off his own hoof and made Joseph consider giving up.
It was far from how he wanted to spend his afternoon, considering he still had to go help Hazel with the stew for Billy, but after dropping off the items from the store a new request had been brought to him by Mrs. Penelope the school teacher. She had asked him to come to help the school house set up their new bell, something that he knew would delight the youngsters due to how well he got along with them. Alas, dealing with every wacko that stepped through his office door had put him in a considerably more sour mood, but with only applicant left he knew the torture would soon be over.
"Can't I get one normal person who isn't insane?!" Joseph groaned as he massaged his temples. By this point, he had a strong headache and his patience had reached the end of his rope, making him look in the drawer under his desk at his whiskey. The dark brown liquor sloshed in its bottle like an amber sea, trying to coerce him like a siren with its enchanting aroma, but he shut the drawer before he could give in. "No, I don’t need that yet. I may be stressed, but I ain't stressed out enough for a shot of liquid courage…. Yet."
The brief lull in applicants made him turn to old breathing exercises he had learned from his father. Closing his eyes and turning his focus inward, he set out to slow down his heart rate to more relaxed levels by slowing his inhales and exhales. Five seconds in, five seconds hold, five seconds out, repeat. Little by little his composure relaxed and his stress started to melt away like butter in a pan, his headache diminishing and muscles starting to feel heavy from the tension being released. Drowsiness soon set in, and as he rested his muzzle on the desk with his hands acting like a makeshift pillow, a knocking on the front door stirred him from the brink of slumber.
“I really hope this doesn’t go like the others,” Joseph muttered, slightly annoyed that he had been dragged from sleep by another potential ‘gung ho’ citizen. Taking a moment to shake off the whispers of the Sandmare from his vision and mind, he straightened himself then cleared his throat. “Door is unlocked, you may come in.”
The door carefully opened, revealing a tall unicorn stallion with a red coat and mustard yellow horn, mane and tail. Joseph could tell right off the bat that this candidate was different from the others that had come before him, with a reassurance in his gait that showed his confidence and determination. The stranger’s white fingerless gloves and overshirt had a fine layer of dust, no doubt a result of having to wait outside for so long and the breeze whipping the fine particles into the air. Underneath, a brown shirt with gold trim was visible just, as a pair of blue shorts could be seen under his worn chaps. The Colt 45, with a custom cherry-red grip, that was in its holster on his right hip gave the frustrated shariff a renewed surge of hope. The stallion having a custom piece showed that he was probably experienced in the art of the firearm, but he still did not allow himself to be overly optimistic.
"You look like you have had a tough time,” The stallion said, looking around the interior of the office/jail. Spotting the sink, he walked over and poured two glasses, downing his before handing the other to Joseph. “Why the long look Sheriff, is it because you haven’t found anyone good enough to become your Deputy?"
“If I did, I would have been out of here by now,” Joseph said, letting out a rather frustrated snort before calming himself down. He was a stallion of principle, and knew the value of first impressions. He had seen deals go sour over that very thing, so he knew to bury the aggravation or risk running the promising candidate off. "Half of the people that came in just wanted a gun to shoot instead of helping protect the town, the other half I wouldn’t even trust to handle a wooden dagger."
“The former are the kind of folks that piss me off the most,” The stallion said, shaking his head before letting out a sharp exhale. “Psychos who are more interested in abusin the law for their own gains rather than upholdin’ it. It is a damn shame really, nobody is above the law, even the folks back on Capitol Hill but some just don’t get the memo.”"
“Tell me about it,” Joseph released a slight neigh in agreement, the fact that he shared a similar viewpoint as the stranger on fueling his hope that this was going to put an end not only to the search, but also Hazel’s complaints. "How about we start simple then, what's your name son?"
"Name’s Depp Ryder, but I prefer to just be called by my last name.” Ryder said, looking down at Joseph and extending his hand, which Joseph gladly shook. “Moved into town two days ago.”
“Pleasure to meet ya Ryder,” Joseph knew the faces of everyone who had permanently settled down, so for his potential deputy to be soon new it did not surprise him that he had not recognized him at first glance. “Well, I am sorry for not recognizing you sooner, but rest assured it won’t happen again. Whatcha been up to since you decided to settle down in our sleepy little town?”
“Been mostly keepin’ watch over the mine.” Ryder said, getting comfortable by sitting in the chair across from Joseph’s. “I just want to ensure that McDougal doesn't get too… ‘Zealous’ and accidentally blow himself up."
“Him? Blowing himself up?” Joseph chuckled, letting out a mix between a whinny and a laugh and began to flap his wings as a result. “That explains why his explosions have actually been quieter today, must have given him quite the speech to get him to back off a bit. A welcome change for sure if he keeps it up, but rather unexpected to say the least."
"He needs to lay off the explosives, plain and simple." Ryder’s face turned up into a bemused smirk, his mind replaying how the stubborn goat had turned white as freshly brushed teeth after he got through with him. “I suggested he back off the explosives, he said no, and then we argued for a bit. Finally I made him cave when I brought up how too much explosive could collapse the whole shaft or even the entire mountain side and risk killing him in the process. He paled and quivered like a leaf at the thought of not being able to blast, but if it was up to me, I would take his dynamite away entirely until he agreed to only blast on certain days. With supervision of course.”
"Impossible, trust me I've tried.” Joseph sighed, his wings ruffling a little from all his failed attempts to get the old goat under control. “Trying to remove dynamite from him is like trying to remove mine and my wife’s wings. An extremely painful procedure that has no positive outcome and very likely to get him to bite you. Before you ask, McDougal has bitten someone before, the poor colt had a pretty bad finger for a while and it never did set back properly. Goats have always had strong jaws ya know."
“What…” Ryder said, raising an eyebrow as his mouth opened slightly in disbelief. "How has McDougal not been fined at the very least?!"
"Hell if I know.” Joseph shrugged, unsure himself of why the mayor put up with the miner’s antics. However, when it was made clear that the colt had trespassed and provoked, he felt it had been justice served. “Anyway, I believe that we have gotten off track a tad, so why do you want to be my Deputy?"
“Thought you’d never ask,” Ryder said, cracking a smile as he straightened his posture. "Despite only bein’ here for a few days, I've grown quite attached to the people here. I love the tight knit community y'all have and I love how diverse it is here. You don't take any shit from the humans that come here and try to stir up conflict, then you end any potential scuffle that may occur before it has a chance to start. From what I've seen with you, you're an honest hard workin’ stallion, with a beautiful mare back home."
“Using flattery to win me over are ya?” Joseph started making a sound that was a chuckle mixed with a neigh, impressed by Ryder’s tactics. “I'm gonna say now, it's working. But should a conflict arise, can I trust you to help defend Sagiville?"
“Yessir,” Ryder nodded, firing off a salute with his left hand while his right rested on his holster. "I am willin’ to do what must be done to help defend the town."
“Oh really?” Joseph asked, staring at Ryder dead in his eyes as his facial expression and tone turned serious. "Even if that means taking a life?"
"If there is no other option, I will." Ryder said solemnly, his eyes taking on a tint of sadness. "Killing should only be used as a last resort, but if it means protectin' the civilians, I won't hesitate to fire a kill shot."
"Glad to see that me and you have the same line of thinking, that will make things a lot easier." Joseph said, opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out a shiny silver star. "By the authority that was invested in me by Mayor Mary, consider yourself deputized to protect this town and its citizens. Should anything bad happen to me, you are to take my place as Sheriff to continue on in my hoofsteps and keep the peace."
"Thank you sir,” Ryder took the oath to heart, knowing that he had a great responsibility to not only keep the civilians safe, but also Joseph as well. It steeled his resolve
knowing the task at hand, and after spending the last few hours seeing applicant after applicant being turned down he knew that he was the only hope the town had at having a Deputy. “I will not let you down, I swear on my life."
"That I am certain of,” Joseph chuckled, being relaxed for the first time since lunch. “Say, just out of curiosity, would you like to join me and my wife for dinner tonight?"
"I would be honored sir," Ryder said, dipping into a slight bow of appreciation at the act of kindness. “You don’t have to do that just because I signed on to be your Deputy, how am I repaying you and the missus?”
“Backin’ me up to keep my hide alive seems like a good ‘nough payment.” With business settled, Joseph took the opportunity to get up and stretch, a few light pops occurring as he did. Ryder, to his credit, could not help but chuckle at the answer, laughing to the point the wall was the only thing keeping him upright. "Glad that got a rise outta ya, please come to the Saloon about fifteen minutes after it closes and we can have a nice little chat. We normally close for the night 'round ten, if that isn't too late that is."
"Kind of is sadly," Ryder said, sighing as he looked out the open door, a few kids running by playing a game of tag before zipping into the bookstore. "I try to be in bed by nine, at the latest, so I keep my sleep schedule in check. 'Course, I make exceptions for duty and if I need to do a special patrol, but otherwise I don't intend to deliberately stay up late."
"I see," Joseph mused, scratching his chin in thought as he thought over alternatives. With Ryder now his Deputy, he wanted to make sure that everyone in town knew it, something he made a quick note of to do the next day. However, he also knew that the Saloon was normally packed in the evenings, which made a few gears click in his head. "Well, in respect to your schedule, meet us there round seven, that is when it is at it's busiest and I can introduce you to most of the town then. Two birds, one bullet, does that sound more acceptable?"
"Yeah it does boss," Ryder nodded, heading for the door. "Well, I better go get ready then. Seeing as how Ah'm now your Deputy, reckon I go get a room at the inn and take a bath to look presentable."
"You kiddin'? Joseph snickered, giving Ryder a friendly slap on the back as they exited the building, shutting the door behind them. "I'm sure most of the ladies will swoon over ya at one point or another, but enough talk for now. While you go do your thing, in the meantime, I've got to take the job posting down. See you tonight."
"Looking forward to it." Ryder said, giving a friendly wave as the two went their separate ways. Glancing around, he saw a few of the townsfolk looking at him, talking in hushed whispers below his hearing range. There was no doubt in his mind what they were probably gossiping about, which he was fine with, and it brought a smile to his face when a young lynx child stopped to tip her cowgirl hat at him before scamper it off towards the school. "Looking forward to it indeed…"
Author's Note
Full chapter was going to be way too big with bad flow, so I posted this as a lead in while the rest undergoes deeper revision
This was just the first section of said document btw...
