Rainbow Dash loved being a Wonderbolt.
Not only was it, just, awesome and her life goal ever since she could remember, but it also meant that she no longer had to be a weather manager.
Not that she hadn’t liked being a weather manager, she definitely wouldn’t have even taken the job in the first place if she had hated it, but there were some days where it could be one of the worst jobs ever.
For example: today. Hearts and Hooves Day.
Normally, as the captain of the weather team, Rainbow would have had to spend all of the holiday coordinating her fliers and writing up charts to make sure the weather was just perfect. It couldn’t be too cold that couples couldn’t go out to the park and get all mushy but it also couldn’t be too hot that they couldn’t stay inside without feeling smothered. Not a cloud could dot the perfect sky, not a stray breeze could ruffle perfectly combed fur, and at least one rainbow had to be positioned just right so it could be seen from anywhere in town.
Compared to the average day of just making sure plants didn’t die of dehydration and no one got sunburnt, Hearts and Hooves Day was a mountain load of work.
But, because being a Wonderbolt was awesome, Rainbow Dash didn’t have to worry about any of that stuff this Hearts and Hooves Day. She got the day off because even the best aerial team in the world wanted to have some time to spend with Special Someponies. With their weird travel and training schedule it was vital they had these holidays to go home and just be with ponies that they loved.
And that meant that Rainbow Dash, now free as a bird, needed someone to spend the day with.
She had been planning on spending it with her girlfriend, had gotten herself all psyched up about how awesome it was going to be to just hang out, maybe even in public, but turns out Rarity wasn’t her girlfriend at all.
And, she wasn’t going to lie, that news stung a bit. Rarity was so cool! Rainbow had loved their hang out sessions that turns out weren’t actually dates. It was a huge bummer that apparently Rarity wanted nothing to do with her.
Romantically, of course. She still saw Rarity daily but the Unicorn was like… aggressively platonic now.
Still, such hiccups could not bring The Rainbow Dash down! How could they? All she needed to make this day perfect was find a special somepony. It would be child’s play for somepony as rad and smoking hot as Dash to nab a mare friend. She’d have this day in the bag in ten seconds flat.
Her first stop was the house of one of her oldest and dearest friends. Fluttershy would definitely be down with spending Hearts and Hooves Day with Dash, the two had known each other for so long that there was no way Fluttershy hadn’t realized Rainbow was perfect in every way. It was obviously only the poor filly’s crushing anxiety keeping her from asking Rainbow out for all these years.
But not to worry! Today Rainbow herself was going to take the initiative and make all of Flutter’s dreams come true.
***
When she got to the cottage the first thing Rainbow did was knock on the door.
Sure, she could have flown in through the window and pronounced how lucky Fluttershy’s day was going to be in a shower of awesomeness. But, as stated before, Fluttershy was jumpy. She’d probably hide under her bed if Dash did something like that and that would totally kill the romantic vibes.
So, even though she loathed it, the slow way it was. Because that’s just how great of a girlfriend Rainbow Dash is.
Thankfully, she only had to wait a few seconds before the door cracked open and Fluttershy appeared before her.
Oh,” was all Fluttershy said, cocking her head in thought, “well, I don’t think I have any Hearts and Hooves Day problems but you’re welcome to come in.”
Rainbow deflated a bit but did not reject the offer. “Okay, thanks, but like, are you sure?” Fluttershy probably just didn’t understand what Rainbow was offering here. “Because I really want to be of help.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I’m pretty sure. I was just having a wonderful morning with Discord here and he hasn’t been a problem in a long while.”
Rainbow froze as she round the corner and, sure enough, there was Discord sitting on Fluttershy’s couch, an upside down teacup in his hand. “Why hello there Rainbow Dash,” he said, his shinny sharp teeth glittering as he smiled, “now what are you doing here?”
“Oh, uh,” Rainbow stammered, sweat beading on her forehead, “You know. I was just, uh…”
“Rainbow stopped by to see if I had anything she could help with,” Fluttershy explained, sitting down next to the god of chaos, “isn’t that nice of her?”
“Yes it is,” Discord said, tilting his head way past the point where a pony’s neck would have snapped, “So very nice of her! Funny, that’s exactly why I’m here.”
“Uh,” Rainbow said, intelligently. She had, in fact, totally forgotten that Discord existed and that the big lump of chaos was the most overprotective creature in the universe when it came to Fluttershy. If he was here, today, he was probably keeping any potential suitors away so that they wouldn’t break Shy’s heart. And there was absolutely no way he considered Rainbow Dash above such things, even though she totally was. “Yeah, I was just wondering if Flutters, uh, if she needed some clouds cleared! Yeah, yeah, that’s it. I know the weather team kind of just shoves extra clouds over the Everfree during Hearts and Hooves so I was just making sure you aren’t getting an unintentional storm building over your head.”
Smooth. Perfect excuse. Rainbow Dash you are a genius.
“Oh, is that all?” Discord practically purred, seeming to love the way Rainbow squirmed and fidgeted under his gaze.
“That’s very considerate of you,” Fluttershy said with a smile, “I would have never even thought of that.”
“Yep.” Rainbow slowly backed up, one hoof in front of the other. “That’s me. Miss Considerate. And I didn’t see any clouds when I came in so it looks like it wasn’t even a big deal. I’ll leave you two to the rest of the day okay bye!”
She ducked out of the house the second she was close enough to the door and made a beeline back to Ponyville. She shivered as it felt like Discord’s dangerous gaze followed her all the way back.
***
Even if Rainbow Dash didn’t know where every place in Ponyville was like the back of her hoof, one would have to be blind and stupid to miss Twilight Sparkle’s giant crystal-tree castle thing in the center of it.
The palace scraped the clouds. Literally. It was a nightmare for the weather department.
But, while the outside was stupid easy to get to the inside was a completely different matter. That thing was like a labyrinth with way more hallways than should even be legal, in Rainbow Dash’s opinion.
So, while Rainbow would have very much preferred to crash in through a window like she used to do at Golden Oaks, it was with great reluctance that she landed at the front door and knocked.
She had to knock. That was how confusing stepping a hoof into that castle without a guide was. Rainbow had to lower herself to getting permission to enter a building.
And then, horribly, Twilight did not answer the door. In fact, no one who actually lived in the castle answered. Instead, Trixie was the one to open the door.
“Why hello,” the blue Unicorn said, looking Rainbow up and down like she was something gross on the underside of a hoof, “what can the Great and Powerful Trixie do for you?”
“What the buck are you doing in Twilight’s house?” Rainbow knew that she was supposed to give Trixie a chance, that the Unicorn had turned over a new leaf and all that. But she had literally never apologized to Dash for all the crap she pulled and actively continued to be a total pain in the flank. So Rainbow felt at least a little justified to keep treating her like one.
Before the Unicorn could answer another voice rang out. Really loudly because those crystals echoed like crazy. “Babe? Who’s at the door?” Not a moment later Starlight poked her head into view. “Oh, hi Rainbow Dash.”
“Hey,” Rainbow said, less aggressively than she had to Trixie. Starlight might have embarrassed Dash when she took away her cutie mark but at least she apologized for it. Oh yeah, and the mind control stuff, but that was whatever, “I was just looking for-“
“This sad sad pony,” Trixie cut her off, draping a hoof around Starlight’s shoulder in an overtly dramatic and… romantic way? Yeah, definitely romantic. Trixie started kissing Starlight’s cheek as the show pony continued to talk, “Is obviously so sad about being single on Hearts and Hooves Day that she has come to us, the most Amazing and Romantic couple, for advice. Or perhaps even to just see what she’s missing out on.”
Rainbow felt her face flush with indignant embarrassment. “That’s totally not it! I don’t care what you guys are up to at all.” Though seeing them be so affectionate to each other did make her stomach clench. She puffed out her chest to hid that stupid feeling. “I’m actually here to see Twilight, she in?”
“Yeah,” Starlight replied, somehow able to completely ignore Trixie’s affections as she responded, “she’s in her library. I can take you to her if you want.”
Rainbow nodded, not stupid enough to let her pride get her lost for hours. “Thanks, that’d be great.”
Starlight opened the door more and pulled her marefriend aside so that there was room for Rainbow to get in.
Trixie was definitely being annoying on purpose. Her face was now buried completely in Starlight’s mane and she had her hooves wrapped around the pink pony’s neck that didn’t look super nice and comforting at all. No, it just looked super uncomfortable and annoying. For Starlight. And Rainbow Dash was starting to get annoyed. For Starlight.
Starlight herself was doing an amazing job of hiding her feelings as she started walking like there wasn’t another pony clinging onto her. “So, what did you want to see Twilight for?” She asked, conversationally.
“Rainbow wants to see if there’s a spell to fix that ugly mug of hers,” Trixie said, eying Dash mischievously through Starlight’s mane.
Starlight elbowed her marefriend, causing Trixie to release her hold and start walking beside them. “Be nice, Trix.”
Trixie sniffed indigently. “She should be nice first. Interrupted our day.”
Starlight rolled her eyes and Rainbow could see the smallest hint of a blush behind her pink cheeks. “It’s fine. I’m sure Rainbow won’t need us for long. You’re just here to speak to Twilight, right?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow replied. She was feeling so weird listening to these two. “Yeah, don’t worry I’ll be out of your manes in just a second. You two can get all lovey-dovey for the rest of the day.”
Starlight blushed brighter and Trixie snickered while nuzzling the back of her marefriend’s ear. “Uh oh, she caught us.”
“Not like you were making it much of a secret,” Starlight mumbled back, she smiled apologetically at Rainbow and gestured to a door a couple more feet down the hall. “Sorry about her. But Twilight’s just right in there. She’s reading but I don’t think it’s anything too important that she won’t mind you interrupting.”
“Unsurprisingly, the Princess of Loneliness also doesn’t have any plans today.”
Rainbow gave the two a strained smile and ducked into the room as quickly as she could. Gosh Trixie was a jerk. But that last thing she said bolstered Rainbow’s resolve. Twilight was also free today, which meant the Alicorn would totally be looking for a good time. A good time Rainbow was perfectly equipped to show her.
However, as soon as the door closed behind her Rainbow picked up on the loud but unmistakable sound of Twilight Sparkle going Twilighnanas.
It sounded something like. “WHY? OH CRUEL WORLD WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?”
Dash winced. This day was just not turning out as fun and easy as she had first thought. But dang it, if she had to spend all Hearts and Hooves comforting Twilight over, like, a bent book or whatever, then that’s just what going-to-be-special-someponies did for each other.
“Hey, Twi?” Rainbow called out. She could not see the Twilight. Like everything in this Harmony forsaken castle the library she was currently in could only be described as mega-normous. And cluttered. There were bookshelves everywhere, not only against the wall. And where there weren’t bookshelves there were still books. Books on the floor, the beanbags, even some in the ceiling lights. Plus there were just random crystal columns everywhere. Rainbow guessed this set up made it good to find a little cranny to tuck yourself in and read but it made it absolutely sucky to find anything. Even a wailing Alicorn. “Twi, you in here?”
Twilight continued about her business as if she had not heard Dash at all. Which, seeming as her grieving was pretty darn loud, Rainbow didn’t doubt.
Rainbow continued further into the room, picking over books and following the sound of Twilight’s voice. Eventually, she found her. Twilight was laid out on a huge bean bag. One big enough that it could have fit at least four other ponies on there with her. A lot of pillows were on the bean bag and Twilight had her head buried in one. “Yo Twi!” Rainbow called louder now that she was much closer.
Twilight’s head snapped up, flinging the pillow away from her, as she turned to Rainbow.
“Whoa.” Rainbow backed up a step at her puffy red eyes. This was definitely worse than a bent book. “Hey, you good?”
Twilight sniffed and summoned a tissue to blow her nose before banishing it back to wherever Unicorns and Pinkie got stuff. “No. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Rainbow waited for her to continue. She did not. So the two of them just stared at each other awkwardly for a couple seconds before Rainbow got the hint and cleared her throat. “Yep. Sure is. You don’t got a date or something?”
That was supposed to be a light tease to ease her into Rainbow’s good news but all it did was make Twilight’s eyes water once again.
“No, I don’t! I thought I was going to spend today with Rarity but, well, you know.” Twilight collapsed back into her pillows and hugged a white one to her chest. “So now I just have to sit here and think about how I blew my shot with the best mare I’ve ever known.”
Ouch. That hit Dash right in the ego.
But she was stronger than an indirect insult. In the smoothest way any pony had ever done anything she slid next to Twilight and wrapped a comforting wing around her. “Yeah, that whole situation was totally lame. But you don’t have to worry anymore.”
Twilight sniffled a few more times before looking up, confused. “Wh-why not?”
This was her moment. Rainbow leaned in until their mouths were almost touching, pulling Twilight in closer with her wing. “Because The Dash is here to make all your dreams come true.”
And then Twilight slapped her.
Not, like, super hard or anything. It was more a scolding bop on the head that an older sibling might give when one was being an idiot than the scandalized slap of a mare that thought you were way too out of line. But still, it stung Rainbow’s cranium and her ego and jolted her out of the moment completely.
“Ow!” Rainbow rubbed the top of her head and drew back with a confused glare. “What the heck was that for?”
“What the heck were you doing?” Twilight shot back, frowning harshly, “You were going to kiss me!”
“Well, yeah,” Rainbow said with a huff, crossing her hooves over her chest, “You’re pissed you got dumped. I also got dumped, in case you forgot. We should just be each other’s Hearts and Hooves Day dates. It makes perfect sense!”
Twilight looked at her like she had grown an extra head. Then the Alicorn groaned and buried her head in her pillow again. “Go away Rainbow. I need alone time.”
“Don’t be like that!” Rainbow tried to tug the pillow off her face. “I’m offering you a slice of The Dash. Do you know how many ponies in flight school would have killed for that opportunity?”
Twilight only glared at her over the top of her pillow. Her horn sparking dangerously. “I said go AWAY.”
With a blinding flash of purple light Rainbow Dash found herself once again on the steps of the crystal castle, staring at the closed front doors. “Well fine! Be like that! You don’t even know what you’re missing out on!” She knew it was useless to shout, even if the doors were open there would be no way her voice could carry through the whole castle. Which she was suddenly very thankful she wouldn’t have to navigate back through. Getting rudely teleported did have some benefits after all.
With a scoff that told those doors just what she thought of them, The Rainbow Dash turned and walked away.
Then she promptly tripped down the stairs.
“Ow buck!” Rainbow grumbled at the bottom of the stairs, “What the hay did I trip over?”
“Ow,” said what she had just tripped over, “Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?”
Rainbow Dash craned her head around from where it was currently smooshing into the dirt to see Spike rubbing his head and sitting on the steps. “What am I doing here?” She asked, pulling herself up to her hooves, “what are you doing sitting on the steps? Don’t you know your short body’s a tripping hazard?”
Spike glared at her for the comment but his heart obviously wasn’t in it and he sighed dejectedly after a moment. “Sorry, I guess I’m just moping around.” He fell back to sit and rested his head in his hands.
“Moping?” Rainbow asked, ignoring her irritation for the moment to sit down next to him. “What’s wrong ‘lil dude?”
He chewed on his lip and eventually said, “It’s… well I’m kinda bummed about this whole Rarity and Thorax thing.”
Rainbow stared at him blankly for a moment before it clicked. “Oh right! He pretended to be your crush to get with you. That’s messed up, man.”
“Yeah, and now he wants to do something with me today and I just… I don’t know if I want to.” He leaned back on the step behind him and gazed into the sky. “And so I told him I already had plans and that was a total lie. So now I feel horrible in like five different ways.”
Dash whistled. “Dang. I’m kinda going through something similar. I mean, not quite as bad, but I also can’t find a date for Hearts and Hooves Day. Which doesn’t make any sense ‘cause I’m the coolest pony this side of Cloudsdale.”
Spike perked up. “You… can’t? So you need a date for Hearts and Hooves Day too?”
“Yep,” Rainbow said, throwing an arm around his shoulders, “it’s a hard world for us. Just two super hot creatures out here in the lonely world.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Spike became more invigorated. “Both of us need dates for Hearts and Hooves Day. Both of us are available.”
Rainbow nodded sagely. “And that’s how you know that life isn’t fair.”
The two stared at each other in silence. Spike’s eyes kept getting bigger, more pointed as he tried to communicate something with just expression alone.
Rainbow Dash had no idea what that was. Probably how much of a good friend she was. Yeah, he was probably thinking that any mare would be lucky to have her.
“Welp,” she said, returning the compliment with a hearty pat on the back, “You’re a great listener. I can certainly see why Thorax is so gung ho about you.”
He rowed his arms back and forth between himself and her. “Then why don’t we both just-”
But Rainbow was already in the air. She wasn’t going to find a date sitting on these steps after all. “See you around Spike. Good luck with your boyfriend problems!”
Spike stared in stunned disbelief as she darted away. After she was nothing more than a speck in the sky he slumped backward with a groan.
“Stupid, thick, Pegasus…” he grumbled to himself. Then his face got a contemplative look. “Thorax is really gung ho about me, huh?”
***
Rainbow Dash’s next destination was Sweet Apple Acres and by this point in the day she was starting to feel a little desperate. But surely this time it would work out. Applejack and her had had this weird homoerotic rivalry going on since they first met. Competing in sports, arguing about what was fair, physically fighting when things got really heated.
Or, at least, that’s what Rainbow hoped was going on. The other option was that AJ just hated her guts every once in a while. Was that what was going on?
Nah, Rainbow was way too hot for it to be anything but flirting.
She found the farmer quickly doing, what else but bucking the trees. There was a part of Dash that was tempted to prank her friend. Land in a tree and wait until Applejack was right under it before leaping out at her.
But Applejack only sometimes found that funny, depending on her mood, and Rainbow Dash did not want to risk pissing her off at this exact moment. Instead, she called out, “Hey AJ,” when she was still a few dozen yards away and then swooped down for a graceful landing when Applejack spotted her.
“Well howdy there Dash,” Applejack greeted with a tilt of her hat, “what brings you round these parts?”
Rainbow took a deep breath and got right to the point. No beating around the bush with Miss Honesty here. “Wanna make out?”
Applejack stumbled mid buck and looked like she choked on her own spit. “Excuse me?”
“Do you want to make out?” Rainbow enunciated, “It’s Hearts and Hooves Day and I really need a date. You got a smoking hot bod and you’re obviously into me. Not to mention no one else is taking me up on the offer. It just makes sense, ya know?”
Applejack clicked her teeth together like she was biting words back. “Lemme make sure I understand ya, RD. You’ve been asking multiple ponies all day to be your Special Somepony.”
“And they all said no,” Rainbow admitted, scrunching her muzzle in irritation, “Like, seriously, what’s up with that?”
Applejack made a noise halfway between a laugh and a scoff. “Right. And now about half way through the day you came on over to my neck of the woods. And your plan was to say, ‘do you want to make out’ and then just have me fall over you immediately like I’ve just been sittin’ on my flank waitin’ for that question? That sound about right?”
“Uh, yeah,” Rainbow said impatiently, “that’s what I just said, isn’t it?” She rotated her wrist in prompting. “Sooooo? We gonna do this or what?”
Applejack shook her head very slowly and for a second Rainbow worried she was about to get punched again. But Applejack only laughed. A low, deep chuckle that slowly built into intensity until she was practically guffawing her flank off.
She didn’t even stop when Dash eventually flew away.
***
“Pinkie!” Rainbow cried, blasting into Sugar Cube Corner like her mane was on fire and it was the only cloud for miles. She ignored the relatively crowded shop and weaved past a few patrons standing in line to grab her friend’s face within her hooves. “You. Me. Special Someponies.”
Pinkie Pie was Rainbow Dash’s best friend. Not that Rainbow didn’t like all her other friends of course. She’d throw herself in a raging storm for any one of them no questions asked.
But her and Pinkie were, like, buds.
Normally, that would cross the Earth Pony off as a romantic interest. You didn’t mess with the kind of rock solid platonic bond that they had by trying to throw sappy stuff into the mix. That only leads to otherwise awesome hang out sessions getting awkward and boring quick.
But right now, all that logic crap could be tossed out the window. Because Rainbow was desperate. Desperate!
But thankfully, Pinkie’s face lit up like a beacon at Rainbow’s words and she reached up to grab Rainbow’s hooves with her own. “Oh my gosh. I have been waiting for this day!”
Rainbow Dash felt her bruised ego swell to full strength again. That was the right answer. Who wouldn’t be waiting for the day when the Rainbow Dash would burst in and sweep them off their hooves? Apparently Pinkie was her only friend with any sense.
Pinkie craned her head around and yelled. “Mrs Cake I’m going on break!” Then, with complete disregard to the customers still waiting to order or the laws of the universe, she grabbed on to Rainbow Dash like her life depended on it and dragged her upstairs faster than any pony could blink.
The next thing Dash knew she was sitting in a chair in Pinkie’s bedroom, a table in front of her and a way too bright lamp shining down on the whole set up.
“Uh, Pinks-“ Rainbow tried to say but was interrupted by the thud of an unusually large notebook being slammed down in front of her, almost making her jump out of her fur.
“So!” Pinkie said as Dash tried to calm her racing heart, “Where to start? You know I’ve always wanted to know what exactly it means to have a Special Somepony but no pony will ever tell me! They just keep saying vague weird things and then refusing to explain when I ask follow up questions. But I’ve been writing down everything I think is relevant so I can get all my questions answered. I’m so glad you’ve volunteered to do the answering!” She opened up her notebook and flipped through it at rapid speed. Rainbow could only see glimpses of highlighted stuff and way way way too many words before Pinkie finally stopped and turned to fix Dash with an intense, purely innocent gaze. “Question one: What the hecky is a hickey?”
It took a moment for Dash to process the word avalanche Pinkie had just given her but once she did she really wished she hadn’t.
This what definitely not what she had wanted but she also felt kind of stupid for not seeing it coming.
In that terrifying frozen moment, with Pinkie waiting with utter patience for her answer, Rainbow Dash saw two possible futures stretch out before her. One was where she gave in to the fact that she had accidentally promised Pinkie a lesson about Special Someponies. They would have a, judging by the notebook, very long and very detailed conversation that would not only make their friendship awkward from this moment forward but also force Rainbow to watch that blissful, if not determined innocence die from Pinkie’s eyes. They would probably spend all Hearts and Hooves Day in discussion and Dash would probably permanently stain her fur red from the blushing she would surely do. She would be the responsible friend and finally do what no one else had been brave enough to attempt.
Give Pinkie Pie THE TALK.
Or Rainbow could get the heck out of dodge.
The choice was the easiest thing in the world and Rainbow could just barely hear Pinkie’s yell of frustration as the Pegasus sped out the bedroom window just shy of Rainboom Speed.
***
“Now this just seems over dramatic and you know that means something coming from me.”
Dash glanced up from her brooding, her wet hair clinging to her face and getting in her eyes, to see Rarity standing over her. Well, a couple strides away to be out of the rain.
“I mean, really,” Rarity continued, glancing up at the singular cloud dumping water on Rainbow Dash, staining the otherwise picture perfect skyline, “Didn’t the weather team clear out every cloud for miles? Where did you get enough water to even make this?”
Rainbow pushed her mane out of her eyes and smiled a very tiny cocky smile. “I went to the Everfree to get it. Seems like the forest can just make these things out of nothing.”
“Hmm, quite.” Rarity stood there for a couple more moments, glancing between the wet bench Rainbow sat on, the growing muddy spot under her hooves, and Rainbow herself. Finally, Rarity conjured a little magical shield above her head, big enough for two ponies to fit under, and slid onto the bench beside Rainbow, blocking anymore Brooding Rain from falling on her. “Now what has got you so obviously down in the dumps. This is a very dire reaction from The Rainbow Dash so I’m assuming something horrible occurred.”
Rainbow snorted and turned away, but did not leave the protection of the magic umbrella. “I’m alone on Hearts and Hooves Day. Of course I’m bummed.”
Rarity raised a doubtful eyebrow. “I seem to recall you being single every other Hearts and Hooves before this. Usually you are not found soaking away your feelings, however.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t trying every other Hearts and Hooves Day,” Rainbow explained, “I had Wonderbolts to practice for or Fluttershy’s brother to fight off with a broom or something. I was busy.” She threw her hooves up into the air, almost smacking into Rarity’s rain shield. “And I thought it would be easy, you know? I thought I was cool and likable and and and hot. I thought mares would be tripping all over me but… no ones even given me a chance.” Rainbow turned to Rarity, facing her with pained eyes. “What am I doing wrong? Does everyone secretly hate me or something?”
Rarity tittered which made Rainbow’s sad frown turn more annoyed. But then the Unicorn looked at her with those beautiful sapphire eyes, full of sympathy and love and Rainbow couldn’t stay mad for even a second.
“Rainbow, no one hates you or something as dreadful as that,” Rarity explained, “You just have an… unconventional way of navigating romance.”
Rainbow raised a brow. “The heck does that mean? Do you want me to spell someone’s name in the clouds and shower them with roses or-”
“No, no,” Rarity interrupted, “you misunderstand me. Being too grand is exactly your problem. Well...” she trailed off, scrutinizing Rainbow Dash, “Perhaps ‘grand’ isn’t the right word. Your problem is that you’re just too fast.”
“Being fast is never a problem,” Rainbow answered quickly.
Rarity fixed her with an incredulous look. “Really? Let us remember that our romance ended before it even began because you jumped to conclusions.”
Rainbow Dash slouched in defeat, hunching her shoulders and avoiding eye contact. “That wasn’t only my fault! Everyone else did the same thing.” She crossed her hooves with a huff, trying to bring a little bit of bravado back into her posture. “Besides, that’s just it. You don’t like me. Despite all the time we’ve spent together! Apparently no one likes me…”
“No, Rainbow.” Rarity put a hoof on her chin, turning Dash’s head so she was forced to make eye contact, “That’s exactly my point. You never gave me the opportunity to likeyou, not like that anyway, and you never gave anyone else the opportunity either.
“I heard a bit of what happened today. It was the same thing that happened with you and me. You declared you were a mare’s special somepony without ever giving her say in the matter. You didn’t court her, didn’t attempt the first step to woo her, just assumed she’d already have romantic interest in you.”
Rainbow flushed, feeling like a scolded child. “B-but, but why wouldn’t they already be interested? It’s obvious I’m awesome!”
Rarity nodded as she drew back a bit, finally letting go of Rainbow’s chin. “You are magnificent, darling. But you know romance is more than simple admiration or even attraction. It’s a… journey most ponies would like to take together.”
“Oh,” was all Rainbow knew how to answer. This all seemed pretty obvious to her in hindsight. Being someone's marefriend was more complicated than just both ponies thinking the other was hot. It just wasn’t usually how Rainbow rolled. She was more of a kiss and tell kind of pony. Leap into the deep end before she looked. But most ponies weren’t really like that.
Rarity wasn’t really like that.
“Hey, Rares,” Rainbow said after they had sat in thoughtful silence for a few moments, “Do you wanna go on a date?”
Rarity started in surprise, blinking widely at her, and Rainbow threw up her hooves in a hurry.
“It doesn’t have to be today!” she said, hoping she wasn’t blowing this again, “Not for Hearts and Hooves Day and not to be Special Someponies. Just like… a date. A… first step?”
Rarity didn’t answer immediately and Rainbow instantly felt her face go hot with embarrassment.
“Wow, that sounded super dumb, huh? I mean you already rejected me before but I just-”
“I didn’t reject you.”
“Huh?”
Rarity had said that in a quiet voice, a small, thoughtful frown on her face as she stared down at her hooves. “You said we were girlfriends and we weren’t. We aren’t. But you never asked me on a date. And therefore I never said no to one.”
“I uh..huh?” Rainbow spluttered, “Wait is... that a yes? Cause it kinda sounds like a yes but if I make that mistake again I’m never gonna live it down.”
Rarity gave her one of those dumb beautiful smiles Rarity gave ponies when they were being dumb and beautiful back. “I think it just might be. As long as you promise to keep in mind that it is only a first step.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow said, dumbfounded. And then, realizing Rarity probably wanted a little more than that, nodded rapidly. “I mean, yeah, of course! It’ll be so low key it’ll be like… on the floor.”
Rarity gave her that smile again. “I do hope that’s not literal. How about we do next week? Dinner, perhaps?”
Rainbow nodded again, it was really all she could think to do. “Dinner. Yeah.”
With a burst of her horn, Rarity dispelled both her shield and Dash’s cloud into a little shimmer of light. “I take it you won’t be needing that anymore. Now, I must be heading out but… I will look forward to our date.”
“Me too,” Dash agreed as Rarity turned and trotted off, a thoughtful expression on the Unicorn’s face. Rainbow Dash found herself mirroring it as she turned to gaze at the now clear and perfect sky. “A first step, huh?”
“Rainbow Dash!” A voice shouted in her ear, causing Rainbow to yelp in surprise and almost fall off the bench.
“Wha-? Cloud Chaser?”
Indeed, Cloud Chaser, one of Rainbow’s old pals from the weather team, was staring at her wide eyed over the back of the bench.
“Is it true you’re dating Pinkie Pie?” The other Pegasus asked shrilly.
Rainbow blinked dumbfounded for just a second before it came rushing back to her. Pinkie Pie. Crowded Sugar Cube Corner. Rainbow’s proclamation.
“Oh, bucking buck.”
Author's Note
We can't let Rarity have all the problems now can we?
