Coffee and Complex Contemplation

by GrimoireFantasia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3119

Twilight Sparkle stares into coffee as she thinks about the past. Then she writes in her journal.

Twilight Sparkle, Element of Harmony, usually sits in her library reading. But not even books can distract her from the countless nostalgic memories of the past. After staring down her coffee and talking to Spike, she decides to take down her thoughts in a journal.

Inspired by 'Mesmerising' by TwodeePony on DeviantART (Image used as cover as well)
Written while listening to two songs one after the other:
http://youtu.be/4aF-Ta6G0r8 - A Somber Sonata ~ C# minor ~ Jonathan Morley (Go listen to it. NOW.)
http://youtu.be/H91QXNr41FM - Crepuscularity by the always amazing AcousticBrony

Just a simple little one shot. Hope you enjoy.

Published 2012-09-19 05:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-19 05:14:01 UTC

Not So Simple Thoughts

The icy November winds blew and kicked up dusty snow at the window. I stared into the steam rising from my dingy, dirt--coated cup of coffee in the dim lighting of my library. It did little to comfort me, but then again nothing seemed to do that very well when I stayed up as late as this. Not even the coffee helped me focus as well anymore. I glanced into a mirror by my side, my slightly--disheveled mane being one of the many things I noticed about myself right now.

Bags hung below my eyes and I looked as I had for many a week now: spent. I was spent, and there was no denying it. I was a thirty--year--old mare and I’d done most everything I’d ever thought I would spend my life doing. The past seemed so far away, and it was far enough away to begin with. It’d been over ten years. It all seemed to drift off so quickly, I hadn’t¬–

“Twi, it’s midnight. You’re still up?”

The sudden interruption to my thoughts caught me off guard. I bolted upright and glanced over to the only other lit corner of the library. A pair of emerald draconic eyes watched me from the half point of the staircase. I smiled, and sighed with relief that it wasn't some random pony just watching me stare blankly at an untouched coffee mug. Then again, it couldn't be anypony else but Spike. Pee--Wee couldn't talk and the most conversation anypony ever got out of Owlowiscious was ‘Hoo’, as it always had been. After letting these obvious impossibilities cross through my mind, I finally managed to reply to my most faithful assistant. “Sorry if I woke you, Spike. I've just been thinking.”

The not--so--young--anymore dragon returned my smile as he carefully maneuvered down the rest of the steps. In all these years, he’d still not grown into a full--sized dragon just yet. Only his harder scales and wings had formed and he’d become about the size of a full--grown stallion. The only thing I’d had to keep on top of as of ten years ago was his fiery breath. If he hadn't learned so early to control it the library might have been naught but cinders already. “Actually, that’s what worried me for a bit. You’d been down here all this time without saying a word. Usually, if something’s really on your mind, you can’t stop talking about what you think is wrong.”

We both laughed at that. Truth be told, the last time I’d even done anything like that was back when I was still young and naive to the many methods and magics of friendship. I could recall any number of times I’d gone completely mental trying to solve a problem I evidently never had any need to solve in the first place. There was the time I couldn't think of a friendship lesson to send to Celestia. I also recalled the time my future self, who inevitably became my present self, traveled back in time to warn me not to spend all that time worrying over nothing. The Discord incident would be a memory etched in my mind forever. “I guess there just isn't anything wrong,” I said after dwelling on those memories past. “As I said, just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?” he asked me, sitting down next to me and draping a wing over me. The natural insulated warmth of his scales drained the chill from my body almost immediately. That was just what I needed, but the scattered thoughts traveling through my mind did not yet rest

“The past,” I replied, huddling in closer to Spike’s body. A dragon’s scales were warm, but the heat their body gave off was one that rivaled the Fire of Friendship itself. It was a flame so gentle it caressed and cradled me as if I were a newborn. “Remembering all the adventures we've found ourselves back in the day,” I added, trying to keep myself from mentally rambling once more.

“Yeah, we had some pretty fun times, didn't we?” He chuckled a bit, seeming to drift off on his own now. “It’s interesting. I never really think about the past that much,” he admitted, turning away slightly to hide his shameful expression. “ I've tried to remember the good, but every so often, one of the bad things comes up…like my greed growth.”

I snuggled even closer to Spike, remembering the whole debacle very clearly. He'd grown so huge, and his feral dragon instincts had taken over. He'd almost hurt everypony he'd cared about. Luckily, it was the feelings he held toward a pony so dear to him that helped pull him back. It was this memory that brought my prior thoughts to the surface once more: how long can a friendship last? What can strengthen or weaken it? “It wasn't your fault, you know,” I responded later than I’d wanted, but I’d let my thoughts take me again. “And you’re growing like a normal dragon now, right?”

Spike smiled and pulled me closer with his wing. “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Twi. You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I just wish I could make myself feel better,” I muttered, loud enough for Spike to hear, however.

“You know you can always tell me what’s wrong, Twi,” Spike said to me. “ You've always done the same for me.”

“I think I’m just tired,” I responded. “But I can’t seem to sleep. I even poured myself a cup of coffee because I thought I wanted to stay up, but I haven’t even touched it yet.”

“Maybe you just thought you wanted coffee. Maybe part of you wants to stay awake while the other wants to sleep.”

I thought it over. Insomnia conjoined with a desire to sleep wasn't an uncommon ailment for me lately. In fact, this was the fourth night this week I’d stayed up staring down my cup of coffee and its sweet--smelling smoke. “I could always try writing something,” I mused. “Stimulating my thoughts through my journal usually helps me tire my mind out.”

Spike smiled at me as he rose up and tucked his wings in. “There ya go! Well, as much as I’d love to stay and keep chatting, I’m really tired myself. I’m gonna hit the hay. Don’t stay up too late, okay, Twi?”

I chuckled a bit at that last sentence. His concern for my well-being was always kinda cute, if not almost always well--placed as well. “I promise. I’ll probably write myself to sleep like I did last time.”

Spike nodded at me one last time for the night and climbed the stairs up to our room. It’d taken a near--endless amount of begging and a little persuasion with Rarity’s help before he’d convinced me he was finally big enough for a bed of the same size as my own. Ever since I bought it, I’d never seen him sleep so peacefully, not even in his old nest when he was still newly hatched. And he slept like, for lack of a less ‘punny’ line, a baby back then. Regardless, all these nostalgic thoughts rushed through my mind like a babbling brook. The analogy was a bit odd when I’d thought about that too, but it was quickly swept aside. I had a goal, and I’d make it so tonight, no matter what.

Using the little magic I required to do so at this point in my life, I brought my supplies before me: my quill, ink jar and personalized leather--bound journal, which Rarity practically forced upon me on my birthday, might I add. It was a bit strange, still, writing on my own. I felt the words ‘Dear Princess Celestia’ ready to cross my lips as if I were about to send off another friendship report. The princess could probably publish a five--book series of all the lessons I’d sent to her in all these years. The feather pen felt like a stranger to me as I held it in my magic aura, but I wasn't all too unfamiliar to writing on my own. I flipped the journal open and passed by dozens of pages filled with my past entries: from sleepovers to Pinkie Pie’s parties and every Gala up to this point, I had something for just about every day of these long--lost years. Of course, the book was enchanted so that it would never run out of pages and the ink would immediately dry. The perfect birthday gift for the girl who loves books, I thought. Clearly, so did Rarity. The quill practically dipped itself in the ink as my mind began to work on forming the words on the page.

‘Dear journal...or is it diary? Wouldn't it be interesting if books could actually talk, so I could actually ask you? Ah, well it looks like I’ve still got that spell down pat. I can think what I want to write, and my magic will do the rest of the work, flipping the pages and such. Now, what to write? Hm. I guess I could just talk about my day, plain and simple. Though technically, since it’s early morning today, I’d be talking about yesterday. Anyway, I guess I’ll start with waking up.

To my surprise, actually, Spike woke me up bright and early this morning. The early festivities started this week for the Winter Solstice festival, and just like Winter Wrap--Up, I've become the lead organizer for the events. But you already know that. I mentioned it a few years ago in another entry. I’d also been in Canterlot spending time with my family for a few months, catching up with my parents and Cadence and Shiny. But even so, on the way back to my home sweet home in Ponyville, I couldn’t wait to see my friends again.

Anyway, first on my always--organized list was to visit Sugarcube Corner and check in on the ‘official party committee’. That’s Pinkie and the Cakes, of course. Even Pound and Pumpkin have been getting more into the family business lately. Not too much, though. Pound’s been as rambunctious as always, and Pinkie always does her best to keep him out of trouble. Pumpkin’s really gotten the hang of her magic lately, too! Just yesterday, she showed me how much she’s improved on her mass levitation. She’s come so far since when she was just teething on every toy she could pull to herself.

Pinkie was actually too busy for me to talk to, but she said she’d pull all the girls together later and we’d have a, in her exact words, ‘good old fashioned Pinkie Pie Party, just like old times!’ Part of me was filled with nostalgic excitement, but the part of me that was utterly terrified of Pinkie’s erratic behavior lingered still.

After that, I went down to Sweet Apple Acres to check that the supply was still fresh. Applejack told me I worry too much and should take a break sometime. Of course, I took her suggestion this time and stayed for some hot apple cider for an hour or so. I might abide by my lists most of the time, but there’s always time for friends, no matter what.

AJ told me how well Applebloom’s been doing now. She’d discovered she had a knack for architecture and wound up taking a huge job: adding new rooms on to Celestia’s castle! I told Applejack to send my best wishes to her, and then remembered I could probably do that myself. I marked it down to send a letter to her later, which I did.

Next up was Fluttershy and her animal direction team. Their job was to guide the birds south before the weather team brought in the first snow. Fluttershy herself was actually the head of the team, and showing a lot more confidence than I’d remembered. Just upon her seeing me, I found myself tackled into a hug I’d only come to expect from somepony as forward as Rainbow Dash.

She told me all about how she’d been offered to join the Wonderbolts, which had me in absolute shock for a few moments. Fluttershy! Given an offer to join a high--tier world--touring flight team! It surprised me just as much as Rainbow herself having actually turned a similar offer from them down. But as I’d expected, like Rainbow, she couldn't leave her friends behind.

Speaking of Rainbow, her and the weather team was next. I caught her just as she was pushing off some non-storm clouds away from Ponyville’s square. Rainbow pulled me up off the ground into a sky--hug. Considering her new position as the head of the weather facilities up in Cloudsdale, we didn't get to see each other much. She told me everything, and I mean everything she’d done in the past few weeks alone. It was a lot of details to take in, but one in particular was when she’d mentioned Scootaloo, whom she’d adopted about ten years back, right before she got her cutie mark.

Apparently, while Rainbow had chosen to stay close to her friends, Scoot had been inspired by Rainbow herself to live her dreams and wound up joining the Wonderbolts herself, becoming one of their top fliers. Rainbow wanted to talk more, but the snow storm clouds had to be pulled in before the day’s end, and as I noticed, it was coming to a close much more quickly than I’d been noticing.

Rarity’s was my last stop before heading over to Sugarcube Corner for Pinkie’s party. Rarity had been working on the various decorations that would be thrown up across town once December came along. This included, to Rarity’s unrelenting ecstatic happiness, the Hearth’s Warming Tree which would be put up in the square. It was an honor to decorate such a magnificent tree. After all, it could even be seen from Canterlot. Rarity was as bound by work as I was today, rushing back and forth with Sweetie Belle in perfect sync with her.

Belle had just come back from Canterlot herself, having performed with the Trans Equestrian Orchestra. Since her return, she and Rarity had been a flawless machine, working to get the ornaments, lights and garland finished before the official lighting, which is a week and a half from today. Despite their busy schedule, the girls were more than happy to walk with me over to Sugarcube Corner.

We hadn’t all been together in the same room for just over two years. We’d seen each other in passing or been without at least one of the group, but here we all were: The Elements of Harmony, the best of friends in all of Equestria, together again. Pinkie brought out a smorgasbord of sweets and we all dug in.

Well, ‘dug in’ is a general term. Rarity and Fluttershy by no means did anything like that. Rainbow was more than happy to shove almost four whole cupcakes into her mouth, though. After we blew through the snacks, we started talking, and as it turns out, my friends had all gone and found love in the last couple of months I’d been away.

Applejack had developed a more--than--friends relationship with Caramel. We all knew it was inevitable, but it was taking so long, some Ponyville residents actually started a betting pool. She claimed that it would have ruined the ‘worker--employee’ relationship they had, but then eventually decided to throw that idea out the window entirely.

Pinkie Pie had gotten together with a stallion that had worked in the maternity ward at the hospital named Pokey Pierce. Despite having probably thrown him a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, she had only really just met him the day the Cake twins were born, but they were only friends for a while.

Despite both their busy schedules, Rainbow had gotten close to one of the Wonderbolts in particular: Soarin’. They met at a rally Dash was attending to support Scootaloo and she claims it was that old cliché of ‘love at first sight’. They went out for a few drinks that night and all Rainbow said we needed to know was ‘the rest is history’.

Rarity ended up returning to Canterlot around the same time as me, but I never even noticed that she’d been spending so much more time with Fancypants. During a second visit staying in same room she’d borrowed while she was working on my birthday dress in Canterlot, Rarity ran into Fancypants again and was once again pulled into the upper--crust crowd. However, she didn't let it change her this time. In fact, she found herself pulling Fancypants himself away from the higher tiers and even got him to visit Ponyville several times.

And Fluttershy’s was the most surprising. She’d ended up with Big Macintosh! Apparently, during her self-discovery where she became less shy, she’d been offering to help out around Sweet Apple Acres lot more, and that’s where Big Mac himself fell head over heels for her. After working up enough courage, because he used to be just as quiet as Fluttershy, he finally asked her out. It was an almost immediate yes.

Hearing all my friends’ stories of discovery, it dawned upon me that I never really looked for love myself. It never occurred to me at all that it would be something I’d need. I always figured I would have my friends, but if they’re eventually going to have their own lives, I’d be seeing even less than before. Still, maybe I don’t need something like ‘true love’. Even if I don’t get to see my friends all the time, they’ll still be my friends.

Well, I've written a lot more than I’d intended to. Luckily the sun hasn't begun to rise just yet. Maybe Princess Celestia knows I've been up and is doing this for me. I think I’ll actually try to get some sleep anyway.
--Twilight Sparkle.’

I carefully closed my journal and set it back where it belonged on my desk with my quill and ink right next to it. I rose up and looked out the window. The breeze had subsided and a light flurry had picked up. For some reason, I smiled. I’d been smiling a lot this night but this time I can’t remember why. I walked up the stairs, blowing out the torchlight keeping the first floor barely dim as I made my way into my bedroom where Spike was already curled up under his blankets, snoring lightly. I quietly moved past him to my own bed and slipped in, laying my head on the pillow and finally feeling tired.

My coffee went untouched yet again.