Moment of Vulnerability

by TrackdNTraild

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 2282

Even Pinkie can get sad sometimes. The Element of Laughter can never always be laughing.

Inspired by the episode Party of One.

Pinkie has always had some deep insecurities in the back of her mind. Whether it's about her friends, her husband, or her own kid. For some reason, deep down, she's terrified that every pony around her is going to leave her. One day, these thoughts come full force to the front of her mind, and she's too weak to push them away. In this sorrowful state, Cheese Sandwich pays his loving wife a visit and they talk things out.

For the first time in a long time, Pinkie gives in, and stops being the Spirit of Laughter for a change.

Published 2022-07-31 01:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-07-31 01:00:00 UTC

The Lightless Party Cave

" Pinkie? "

Cheese Sandwich had gotten so wrapped up in playing with Li'l Cheese, he didn't even notice when Pinkie had left the room. He looks around, and he doesn't catch sight of her at all. One minute she was there with him, and the next she had entirely disappeared. He got to his hooves, brushing his hoof through their colt's hair. The colt in question stuck his tongue out at his father, and continued playing with the toy plane he had been given. He grabbed it in his mouth, and ran around the room making plane noises. Cheese smiled, and stepped out of the room so his son could play on his own.

He navigated each of the rooms in SugarCube corner, starting with the kitchen. He checked every possible place that Pinkie could fit, but all of the cupboards were either filled with cleaning supplies and dishes, or entirely empty. He went into the main shop area, checking around and under every table, and peeking into cracks in the walls that they still hadn't fixed. The Cake twins really did a number on their wallpaper when they were young... He walked back into Li' Cheese's room, and did another check in all the small spaces Pinkie could fit in. No luck... he hadn't seen that poofy pink tail yet.

He trotted up the stairs, and called out for her again. He went into their bedroom, and still didn't catch any signs of her. She wasn't in her bed, or her wardrobe, or the toy case they had bought for Li'l Cheese. Where in Equestria could she have gone? He hadn't heard the bell, so she hadn't left the shop, but then... where was she? He got one final idea in his mind, and it was the only one that could possibly work. He looked around the room for the switch, and when he found it, he pushed it all the way. A trapdoor opened in the floor, but there was no light coming from downstairs. Strange...

He leapt into the hole, stumbling on his hooves to find his footing. He felt around him in the pitch blackness for the light switch, and flipped the lights on when his hooves ran over it. He blinked to adjust to the light, and cast his gaze around the room.

" Pinkie? " He called out for her again.

" I'm here, " the dejected mare's voice called from another room in the cavern, off to the side. A few crates full of gag toys were piled up beside the doorway.

Cheese walked in the direction he had heard her voice, and entered the room that Pinkie was situated in. His ears flattened as he noticed the state Pinkie was in. Tear trails ran down her cheeks, and her hair fell in straight lines around her. They wrapped around her body in an unusual way, at least unusual for her typical hairstyle. Her colours were desaturated, and her eyes had very little shine in them. She almost looked like an entirely different pony.

" Oh, candy heart... " Cheese said softly as he approached the mare, and sat beside her. " What are you doing down here? And why were the lights off? "

" I just... wanted to be alone for a little, " She responded, lifting her head to look at him. Her eyes looked sore. " I was thinking about something, and I didn't want to ruin the mood upstairs. I'm sorry... "

" Don't apologize, Pinkie, " Cheese said somewhat firmly. " You're obviously still upset. C"mon, tell me what's wrong, sugar. "

Pinkie wiped her face. For a time she was silent. She stared at the floor separating her and Cheese. One of her hooves shuffled, but she pulled it towards herself instead of letting it approach him. She took a deep breath and sighed, another tear slipping down one of her cheeks.

" C-cheese... " Hearing the way her voice cracked broke his heart. " You... you won't ever leave me, will you? "

" What? " His ears perked in surprise. " Where did this come from? "

" I was just thinking... " Pinkie sniffled. " It just... hit me so suddenly. "

" Did.. something bad happen lately? " Cheese said. He scooted close to her, putting his hoof on her shoulder.

" N-no, nothing bad happened! " Pinkie blinked away tears and flicked her droopy ears. " It's just... well, I was reflecting o-on a lot of things that happened before I met you. And I've been thinking about how I am as a pony. I'm... I'm everypony's friend. I'm family, too. I've thrown parties for every occasion. Welcome parties for new ponies, birthday parties, bachelor parties... even when I was tired after having Li'l Cheese, I threw a party. And I make friends with everypony, no matter who they are. But... but... "

" But..? " Cheese rubbed her back, gently encouraging her to keep talking.

" B-but I... " Pinkie's sentence broke with a sob and tears slid down her face onto the floor. " I don't... I don't feel like any relationship I have is really genuine. I-I'm so terrified that, before I know it, p-ponies are going to turn on me, and they're going to leave me. "

" What? That's ridiculous... " Cheese shook his head. " Why would they? "

" B-because of things like this..! " Pinkie cried, her body shaking as sobs cracked through her words. " E-everypony sees me as this happy-go-lucky, never sad, perpetually laughing party pony! I-I'm not allowed to be sad or scared. I-I always hold a smile, and keep my head high, a-and try to keep everypony's hopes up, b-but I can't do it all the time... W-what if some other pony had seen me like this? O-or somepony that hates me? What would they do or say to me... A-and what if my 'friends' make fun of me and leave me...? "

" Pinkie, listen to me. " Cheese cupped the mare's face in his hooves, and made her look at him. His voice softened, as did his eyes. " If they're really your friends, they're going to help you through things like this. You can't be happy all the time, and no pony expects you to be. That's just... impossible! You're not you if you can't feel all the feelings you're supposed to. And as your husband, I think I can happily say that I would never ever leave you. I love you with all my heart, and I love Li'l Cheese too. You both are the most important things in my life, and I would never sacrifice that for anything. "

" B-but...- " Pinkie began.

" No buts, candy heart. " Cheese quieted the mare with a soft kiss. " I know it might be hard to think right now, but your friends love you too. Where would they be if it wasn't for your incredible parties? Or your contagious laughter? You help bring everypony together, and being sad should not do anything to ruin that. As your friends, they have to accept you as Pinkamena just as much as they accept you as Pinkie Pie. Yes, you are an incredible party pony who always wears a smile and just wants what's best, but you're also a small town mare who should be allowed to be vulnerable. "

As Cheese spoke, tears continued to well in Pinkie's eyes. They dribbled down her face and ran over the stallion's hooves. As he felt the tears, he moved his hooves to wipe them from his wife's face, and dry her eyes. A smile began to perk at the corners of her mouth, and her eyes began to shine again. The tears fell faster and faster, but they weren't entirely sad anymore.

" Oh, Cheese... " Pinkie whimpered.

Cheese said nothing, only sat back and spread his hooves. Pinkie took the gesture in full, and threw herself against him. She buried her face in his shirt and sobbed into the fabric. She gripped him tightly in her hooves, and he in turn held onto her as if for dear life. He lowered his head, resting it against hers. He pet her hair, humming softly while she cried her heart out. Though it still hurt to hear her cry at all, he knew that she wasn't entirely down now. He glanced down, and the smile on his face widened as he saw the colour returning to her body.

After a few minutes of crying, Pinkie finally pulled back. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes with her hooves. Cheese helped her clear up the last of her tears. She looked up at him with the widest smile on her face, even though tears still stung her sore eyes.

" I-I love you so much, Cheese, " She whined. " I don't know what I'd be doing here if I had never met you. I-I'm sorry for being all... y'know, dumb about this. "

" It's not dumb, " Cheese laughed. " I'm glad that we could talk about this. You have nothing to apologize for, either. I would rather have this Pinkie rather than the Pinkie that's happy all the time. It means a lot every time that you tell me things like this. If you have something that you're worried about, then you need to tell me. And even if you don't want to... I'll be here for you to cry your eyes out until you feel like you're ready to talk. Don't ever forget that, candy heart. "

" Thank you, " Pinkie said softly. She got to her hooves and rubbed her eyes again. " Well... I-I feel much better now. Thank you again. "

" Don't mention it. " Cheese stood up and kissed the mare's cheek, causing her to giggle.

" You know, I think this deserves a party! " She said and stuck her tongue out. " An appreciation party for all my family and friends! I want to do a big speech too about how I love everypony... you should join me! "

" Should I? " Cheese laughed. " I don't know, Pinkie, I'm not a speech pony. "

" I mean for planning the party, silly goose! " Pinkie lightly punched the stallion's shoulder. " You just let me do all the talking, okie dokie? "

" Alright, " He hummed happily.

" Yippee! " Pinkie leapt into the air while kicking her hooves.

When Pinkie had leapt into the air she burst with colour. Her hair poofed back to its original size and spread out in all directions. It curled around her body once more. When she landed back on the ground, it bounced around even after she stood still. The grin on her face held nothing but joy, but in her eyes... relief sparkled. Cheese could tell just by looking at her that she felt like an immense weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. He didn't know how long she had been holding onto these insecurities, but he was glad to know that they wouldn't hold her down as badly anymore.

" Well, c'mon! " Pinkie clapped her hooves and ran past the stallion. " We've got work to do! "

" Alright, alright! " Cheese laughed as he ran after the mare.

The entire journey back up into Sugarcube Corner was a very talkative one. Pinkie began to lay out her party plans the second that he caught up to her, and when they reached the kitchen, she began brainstorming new recipes right away. Cheese wondered if her throat ever hurt from how much she talked, but he would let he ramble for as long as she wanted. Even as they began preparing ingredients and grabbing cutlery, Pinkie's mouth never closed unless she was thinking. Cheese had so many things he wanted to say, but he could barely get a word in as long as she was talking. Honestly, he was much happier this way. After all, he would be able to hear the mare's cute and heavenly voice for as long as possible...

" Cheese you're spilling! " She alerted him suddenly

" Wha-? " He glanced down and came out of his daze. " AH-! "

He panicked and dropped the carton of milk he had been holding, spilling even more on the ground.

" Ah geez... " His face flushed with blush as he grabbed a mop and towel.

" Silly! " Pinkie cackled. " Well now we have too much milk in our bowl and our kitchen looks like a cow farmer's station! "

" Well, we're just going to have to make a bigger batch to use up the milk, aren't we? " Cheese laughed.

" Absolutely! " Pinkie snickered. " Okay, while you clean up I'll start putting the milk in the other bowls! "

" Okay... " He chuckled, and began cleaning up the milk.

God... Cheese thought, returning to his daze once again. I love that mare...

Author's Note

I'm impulsive, so enjoy this fic! I got reminded of how because of the Mane 6 planning a party for Pinkie and trying to avoid her, she went insane thinking that everypony was abandoning her. :pinkiesad2: I don't remember many instances where this insecurity of Pinkie's is brought up again, so I wanted to touch up on it a little bit. I hope this did just that! :pinkiehappy:

And I hope you guys enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this. :yay: