The Smooze.

Very little was known about the sentient blob called “Smooze”. Discord had simply shown up at the Grand Galloping Gala one day with the Smooze. It had ruined the party by eating anything metal, ranging from dishware to accessories worn by ponies. Along with the ponies, at least for a moment. The party had ended on a rather sour note, with Discord threatening to send somepony to another dimension.

Strictly because of jealousy. Twilight, however, had decided she wanted to create an entry about The Smooze in the royal Bestiary. It existed, even if it was an extra-dimensional being. It could get sick, potentially. It deserved the best medical care possible.

“So that’s why I’m here.” Discord interrupted. Twilight blinked, looking around for who Discord was talking to. “Oh not to worry yourself dear, I’m just filling in for the writer. Now, you want to make an entry in the Bestiary about Smoozey. I’m certain I can help. I can even write it for you. You will of course be taking a first hoof look at helping my dear friend, won’t you?”

“Uhm… yes. I will. Who…”

“Let’s get started then shall we?” He interrupted again, clicking his talons. The two of them were transported to a dimension that seemed to be made of slime of various colors and textures. Even the ground Twilight was now sitting on, while looking like grass, was instead textured slime. Jumping to her hooves when some of the grass under her rump moved, she looked around. “Welcome to the Smooze Zone. I’ll come get you when the experiment is done.” With that, Discord teleported away, leaving Twilight and her equipment stranded in a completely different dimension.

“Ok… I still want to know who he was talking about. But since I’m here…” Twilight said as she levitated out the camera drone and her note pad. “I may as well get started.” The drone turned on and began floating around her, examining everything as she walked through the slime field. “I have been brought to a dimension Discord says is home to The Smooze. I’m unsure if the creature is a singular entity or if it is a species, but that is one thing I will find out. When I find it.” She said to herself.

Walking along the slimy ground, Twilight took notes of everything around her. Textures, smells, sounds. The ground beneath her hooves felt solid but had some give to it. Enough that she could bounce quite easily. Pinkie would have a good time here. The trees also seemed to be made of a similar substance. Less give than the ground but still enough to bounce off of them. She was about to look for a lake when she saw the subject of this experiment. “Mr. Smooze. Just the slime I’ve been looking for.” She said as she approached it.

The Smooze turned towards her, its eyeless face looking confused for a moment. “Discord brought me. I was wondering if I could take notes on your, well, everything. I am writing entries into the Royal Bestiary, and I feel it is unfair to have not included you and yours.” She said. The Smooze just continued to stare at her. “I’m not sure if you even understand me. Uhm… extend a tendril from your left side if you understand.” She said and a short nodule of a tendril extended out of its left side. “Excellent. Now, I’m going to ask you some questions. Since I’m not sure if you can speak, we’ll do yes or no style questions.

“For example, I will ask male or female. If you are male, extend a tendril when I say male or vice versa.” She said, waiting for a moment. “That... was also a question. Are you male or female?” she asked, and the blob remained motionless. “Wait, is that your answer?” It jiggled in a way that seemed to be a nod. “So… you’re neither or both?” she asked, and it extended a tendril. “Both?” The tendril remained out, and she smiled. “We have established communication.”

For the next while, Twilight asked a multitude of questions relating to the Smooze as a species. Ranging from the mundane, such as what it ate to sustain itself to how many of them there were. Many of the answers surprised her. The Smooze’s food included anything within its home world, as it could ingest anything and, being everything in the realm was made of slime, simply absorb it for the nutrients that particular sort of slime provided. The number of its species ranged in far too many for this particular member of it to accurately count. Once Twilight had as much general information as she could gather, she turned to the other questions.

“Being a slime creature, how do you hold your shape? Do you have a gelatinous membrane surrounding your body or is it purely magic?” she asked and the Smooze wobbled. “Unsure… may I touch you to find out?” she asked, and it nodded. Reaching out her hoof, Twilight touched what would be where the Smooze’s chest was. “Slimy to the touch and slightly firm…” she said before pushing slightly. Her entire hoof and much of her foreleg sank into the slimy “flesh” of the creature. “Yet malleable and soft enough to penetrate easily.”

Pulling her hoof out, she lit her horn and attempted to lift the Smooze. “Magic Resistant…” Smooze shook. “No… Repellant?” Another shake. “Impervious?” Different shake. “Magic Impervious. That is certainly something. It’s good that your species is so friendly, Smooze.” A wobble. Laughter. “No? Just you?” Affirmative shake. “So… I’m not entirely safe here.” Negative shake. “I am safe here?” Affirmative-negative wobble. “Yes but no. I’m only safe here while with you?” Affirmative shake. “Because you know Discord.” Affirmative shake. “Wonderful.” Sighing slightly, she sat down as she took more notes. “Magic Impervious. Safety somewhat guaranteed because of association with Discord. Species non-friendly towards others.”

She continued to take notes on observations she’d made simply from that short conversation. Once she was certain she’d taken as detailed notes as she could, she searched for Discord’s residual magic in the air. Finding it not far away, and rather heavily, she figured he was still in the realm, if not near them, just invisible and waiting for her to tell him to take them home. “Alright. Moving on to part two of the observational section. Setting a timer for… two hours. That should be enough time. After two hours, Discord should come to get me.” She said as she turned away from The Smooze and set up her camera equipment.

“Alright Smooze, now that the question-and-answer section is complete and we have the basic understanding of your species, I have one more task before it’s time for me to go.” She said and the Smooze wobbled, she had his attention. “I need you to eat me. Slowly. So I can observe and take notes. My camera drone will also observe from the outside and record any physical changes to yourself. It will also track my vital signs and, I apologize for this, give you a light shock if I’m falling below safe levels. That will be your cue to release me as naturally as you can.” It wobbled again. Affirmative wobble. “I am so glad you’re so friendly. Is there something I can do to make this more appealing to you?” she asked, and it stayed still for a moment. She’d figured out that meant it was thinking and observing.

After a long pause, it slid past her to her pack and pointed at a spare gemstone she had to power the camera. “You want that? Are you sure? It’s so small, I don’t think it would do much for you.” She asked. It wobbled again, extending two tendrils from its sides and touching itself where its heart would be if it had a normal body. “A gift? To remember me by? Smooze, you won’t be digesting me. I will be perfectly safe.” More wobbling, pointing at her, making circles with its tendril arms before pulling them suddenly into itself with a plopping sound. “Oh. Because I’ll be leaving after this. Ok. Sure. As a gift to remember me when I leave.”

Twilight smiled as her horn lit and she lifted the gem out of the case, affixing it to the Smooze’s chest with magic. “Now we’re friends.” she said, smiling brightly. Smooze wobbled excitedly and Twilight was about to give him the go ahead to start the experiment when he suddenly surged outwards in all directions. She flinched a little, but he didn’t engulf her that way. Instead, he seemed to simply be excited to have a friend. When he returned to his normal size, the gemstone was now in a spot that would be his forehead. She laughed, thinking he was trying to emulate his new Alicorn friend.

“Ok. Now you can eat me.” She said and the Smooze bounced towards her. As it approached, it opened its mouth so wide she could have simply stepped forward and there still would have been room. Instead, once it was around a food away from her, it tilted forward. Twilight pulled her camera to her as the Smooze came down around her before she was no longer on the ground.

She had no idea how long had passed, how many hours, or even if she’d been there for days. Had it been months? Years? Decades? She was sure she’d set a magical alert for Discord to get her out after a couple of hours. Maybe time went slower inside the Smooze. As soon as he’d eaten her, she could no longer feel her own body. She felt like her entire self had been absorbed by the Smooze. She couldn’t even move her head to look around. In fact she felt like she had no head. She was, as far as she was aware, a part of the Smooze.

What felt like more decades passed and suddenly she felt her body wobbling violently. Slowly, a sense of self started to come back to her. First her limbs. They ached somewhat but it wasn’t painful. More like she’d fallen asleep awkwardly and they were all numb. Then her body, that same numb sensation tingling everywhere. Then her wings. That was a new numbness. She’d never used them hard enough to make them hurt, let alone be numb. Then her neck, the tingling traveling up until she felt it in her head, all the way up into her horn.

With a sudden lurching that made her glad the ground around her was all slime, she was out. Discord stood over her, leaning down to look her over. “Well? How did it go?” he asked and all she could do was look up at him. Her whole body was still numb. “Oh don’t worry. She was only in there for a couple of hours. Time works different inside the Smooze.” He said. Twilight was sure he was addressing that being from before. Whoever or whatever it was. “Taking you back the normal way would hurt too much, Twilight. We’re going to have to do this the fun way.” He said.

Twilight knew that tone. She wanted to fight. Maybe kick him in the muzzle for scaring her. But she couldn’t. That numbness was preventing her from moving properly. All she could do was watch as he picked her up, opened his mouth, and sent her sliding down his long snake-like throat. She would have been terrified if she could move or even think properly. “Don’t you all worry. This is just the best way to get her home.” Discord said to whomever he was addressing. Patting his belly as Twilight settled into her ride, Discord opened a portal. “Come to think of it, I may take my time. I’ll take as many detailed notes as I can for you Twilight. Not to worry.” he said as he stepped through the portal.

The portal itself closed slowly. Smooze watched as it sealed shut with a burp. Once it was closed, he turned and wobbled away towards whatever aimless destination he had in mind. After all, Slimes don’t have brains.

Author's Note

Whoof... longest entry yet I think. Almost 2100 words. Hope ya'll enjoy Twilight's adventures in Smoozeland. Threw in some Discord Vore at the end too, just because.