I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to st–

A sharp scratch broke the crackling harmony of old world music as DJ-Pon 3's smooth voice came over the radio. "Sorry about the interruption, my little ponies, but I've just been informed of something that just brings such sadness over my heart. A new up-and-coming caravan from north of Canterlot passed by the Ponyville area last week and hasn't been seen since. Take this as a reminder, everypony. Ponyville has been raider territory since as far back as the Smile Squad’s initial raiding parties, two decades ago. Avoid the area at all costs. Now, on to the weath--"

My hoof pressed to the switch inside my home, turning the radio off before I flew over to the jet controls, turning them down as low as I reasonably could to keep my home floating. The low rumble hopefully wouldn't attract any unwanted attention as it floated along the edge of Ponyville, just a few kilometers away from the coordinates the message told me to go to.

A Mr. Hoovesy with a bowler hat, the machine that served as my home had been heavily modified and worked with by myself, its small owner. I’d stolen one of the limbs from a Mr. Gutsy, giving it a plasma pistol. This was the main alteration I made to it, at least from an outside perspective.

The 3 camera-like eyes of the tri-limbed machine serveyed the surroundings for me. Turning its camera, I saw the many colorful decorations and defenses one might expect from a raider camp; pony heads on spikes, scrap metal walls, and the mutilated and raped bodies of the formerly mentioned caravanners. Under normal circumstances, I would bury them, but for the situation at hoof, I opted to instead lay low behind an overturned shopping cart, hoping it would provide enough cover.

"Vee should be coming pretty close now," I said to myself, settling behind the cart to take a much needed break. I’d spent the last several hours hunched over my desk watching out for threats. Popping my back and stretching my transparent bloatsprite-like wings, I grabbed my mug, filling it with a drop of Sparkle Cola before continuing my journey.

I came bobbing over the hill to see a little fishing boat. Rustic and worn, it looked half-ready to sink as it sat there. But my attention didn't settle on the boat for long as two figures crept from the ship onto the quaint excuse for a dock in the rural sections of Ponyville. A tall and imposing individual, not quite the size of an alicorn and with a sturdy, firm build, not unlike the statues of Big Macintosh from before the war, the buck was clearly not one to be messed with. He was a deer, too; a rare sight in Equestria by any means, but even he couldn't hold my attention, as I drifted my cameras to the presumed captain.

A mare of short stature, with a mane of flowing locks and smooth, clear complexion, she was unlike anything I had ever seen. This was especially true, given that my description of her was very literal. She was made of water, ebbing from and flowing back into her constantly.

The sight of her was mesmerizing as my home bobbed up and down, the subtle growling hum of the rocket piercing the quiet air. I pressed a button, giving a pre-programed wave and unmuting my microphone.

"Hello,” I called, drawing the attention of the two. “Vee think vee are in thee right place, no?"

The deer, the much more stoic of the two, simply turned as the water mare gave a soft smile. "If you’re here about the radio broadcast, then yes, you’re in the right place. We’re just waiting on a few others to join us before we set sail. My name’s Shimmering Raindrops, and this is Cold Hoof.

"Vee are Enjin Rush. Nice te meet you." With a swivel, I brought my claw arm up to shake.

Suddenly, a secondary camera picked up a target, immediately drawing my attention. Thankfully, my targeting system marked the unicorn I saw as non-hostile, prompting a wave to them and receiving a small wave back. The incoming mare was clearly trying her hardest not to be seen before she slipped in from the sidelines, coming down the hill.

Slowly, others arrived. The unicorn, Aurora, rested on the ship with me. A zebra soon arrived and was let aboard with some apprehension from Raindrops, and a pegasus practically crashed near to the ship as she came in for a landing. I was apprehensive about going on this journey with her, given what I knew of the secretive pegasi enclave above the sky, but I provided a warm welcoming wave all the same. Our next and final arrival, a griffon, sat alongside the zebra, and they clearly bonded over mutual distrust for the pegasus mare.

I, however, didn’t pay much attention to the others as I read the books Raindrops had aboard. Each one had its pages and cover laminated to be waterproof, and she had a lot of them. Accompanying the reading materials were maps and other interesting knick knacks, fitting for someone who planned to travel the globe.

Many races listed in her notes as having worked with and studied, she had left blank or had minimal information on, including phoenix ponies, sirens, driders, moose, goats, tatzl ponies, and many, many more things. Roughly a hundred of them had space for more information, most of which I was clueless about.

The pegasus was heavily augmented, with literal engines implemented into her rump, lightweight armored plating, subdermal mechanical implements, and a… dick between her legs. Really? Didn't think anyone actually had cybernetic genitalia, I thought to myself. Her name was Jet Fuel and she clearly knew what she was doing with the engine, alongside myself.

The griffon of the group was evidently named Gwendlyn. She was reading Fifty Shades of Hay, something evidently recommended by Raindrops. The bird was distant during the week-long ride to the crew’s destination. Cold Hoof, the deer, was equally so, seemingly only speaking one or two words at a time, even when Jet and I worked on the ship's engines.

The unicorn, Aurora, was definitely not accustomed to travel by boat. According to the captain, she was often seen throwing up over the railing. I felt a bit bad for her, thinking she had to be sea sick, despite traveling down river and not the open water.

The zebra, Cross Stitch, was the only true outlier of the trip, as she stayed in her room and read books seemingly constantly, only coming out when she deemed it necessary, which was not very often. I only learned her name from Captain Raindrops, as I never seemed to be in the right place at the right time to ask her myself.

Either way, most of the crew kept to themselves. There were few things any of us bonded over, the most notable being Gwen and Cross’ hatred of wings, which was mostly stemming from Gwen being wingless. The other decent amount of bonding was between myself and Jet, sharing mechanical knowledge, mostly to help improve the ship. Still, it was bonding. And it was made very clear on the first day that Cold Hoof had sailed with Raindrops before. The only one who seemed not to have a strong bond with anypony else was Aurora, but not for lack of trying.

After a few days on the water, the ragtag collection of misfits passed by a section of forest. Jet saluted towards it with her wing. I would later be informed that the ruins of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns resided in those woods, debatably home to the incident that truly started the end of the world.

I was about to ask her what she was saluting the trees for, but the ship suddenly jolted to the left and stopped moving up the river. Everypony that was still standing on the deck was knocked aside, which pretty much meant everypony except myself and Raindrops. As soon as everypony regained their bearings, a loud clanking was heard from below deck, and Jet and I rushed to investigate.

It turned out to be a catch in the engine that drove the propeller. Combined with the jolt, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that something had caught on the propeller and locked it in place. As long as the engine continued to try turning it against its will, it would try to tear itself apart. That more specifically described the noise, as it had jumped its housing and was trying to bash a hole in the hull.

It was quick work to shut off the engine and report to the captain. “Vee have a small crack in the hull, Ms. Not a big vun, but vee should still patch it before it groes.”

Raindrops nodded and turned to Cold hoof, but before she could say anything, he had grabbed a small knife, clamped it between his teeth and dove overboard behind the ship without a word. We waited about a minute before he surfaced again on the port side. We were about to rush over and pull him back on deck, but a quick spell from Raindrops brought him aboard before we could reach him.

“Kelp,” was the only word out of his mouth as he dumped a tangled mass of lumpy plant matter at Jet’s hooves.

“Does that mean the prop is free?” I asked. He nodded silently and rejoined the captain. I ducked below deck and restarted the engine, and it ran just fine. As long as nothing was clogging it up, it seemed to run smoothly.

As per my recommendation, we directed ourselves over to the bank, where we could work on patching the small hole. It wouldn’t be long; it was nothing more than a sheet of plate steel, a rubber mat to act as a gasket, and a few rivets. Between Jet and myself, it would be a five-minute delay.

Once ashore, we set straight to work. Most of our time spent on the repair was under the supervision of the captain, who kept making sure we were doing things right. With three rivets to go, I happened to look up, just in time to see Cold Hoof rush to the other side of the boat. I cannot attest to what happened next exactly, but I can guess.

First, there was a gurgling, then a few impacts, and finally a rap-pap-pap as three shots in rapid succession gave way to silence.

“Finished?” asked Raindrops, turning away from us.

“All taken care of,” answered the voice of Gwendlyn. “No more problem over there.”

We finished our riveting and climbed back aboard. At the same time, Cold Hoof was coming up the other side. He had some manner of mutated creature draped over his shoulder. At first, I wondered if it was some kind of bug, as it seemed to have a shell, but with how it was dripping… Some kind of lobster? A crab?

“And where do you think you’re taking that thing?” huffed Raindrops, returning to the helm to steer us back down the river.

“Galley,” he replied, dragging the beast below deck.

Gwendlyn chuckled, spinning her pistol around in her claw, then pulling back her duster and holstering it.

We spent the rest of the day without much incident. Things were quiet. I’d completely forgotten to ask Jet about her salute to the trees and was about to go to bed when Raindrops invited us to an impromptu group dinner.

“To adventure, and to seeing what is out there, waiting for us,” Raindrops said, clinking a glass of wine before sipping it.

It seemed that everyone had been summoned, with the boat just sort of anchored for a short while. I guess it might have been a good idea to have a seat and take in everypony. We’d never all been gathered at once before now. My seat was not made for a Robot such as my home. Mr Hoovesys are not really designed to sit in chairs. I simply moved the furniture back away from the table, to an out-of-the-way corner and left my home hovering in the place it had been sitting.

Across from me sat Jet Fuel with Cold Hoof on her left and Cross on his left. My side of the table housed Gwen on my left and Aurora past her, and finally, Raindrops herself sat at the end of the table. The atmosphere was needlessly dense for a moment as I simply analized our food.

“Is this that thing I took down this afternoon?” asked Gwen, prodding at it with a fork. “Are you sure about this?”

“I checked it myself,” answered Raindrops. “It matches perfectly a description of a creature I’ve seen roasting in Olinea. Since we’re only a few days out, it makes sense that we’d find one here, as they tend to like riverbanks.”

“What is it, exactly?” asked Aurora.

Raindrops shrugged. “I forgot what they called it, and the name in my book is smudged. You’ll be fine, dig in!”

It seemed to be crab of some description, with proportions I could never realistically finish. My arms had to take small bits of the food to slide it in through a small tray I’d taken from a cd player, so eating wasn't going to be quick. Our drinks were varied, with myself simply having Sparkle Cola in my home, While Jet and the others, save for Cross, had various alcohols. I was never a drinker, myself, and couldn't tell what they were having in specific.

Eventually, the silence, broken only by the sounds of forks on plates and chewing, managed to wear down on me. I pressed my button to unmute my mic. “So… Vee think the food is delicious, he he….”

My nervous chuckle, in fact my entire statement, didn't prompt any responses from the others. As my cameras looked around the table, Gwen was glaring daggers at Jet. Jet was doing the same in response, and Raindrops seemed content to let us sit and eat in uncomfortable silence. Aurora was right in her boat with that sentiment.

Cross was the exception. The almost meek-seeming zebra looked uncomfortable even sitting there in silence. She stood up with her plate, trying to leave the entire experience and retreat to her room where she seemed to spend all of her time. As she did so, Cold Hoof put a hoof to her shoulder, easing her back to her seat. He gave her a reassuring smile, that he was not going to let any harm befall her here, no matter how uncomfortable it seemed.

I looked down at the button and realized that there was an error. My mic had never left its mute, and nopony had heard a word I’d said. No wonder they had no response. “Fucking every Queen damn time!” I spoke aloud, flicking the switch on and off several times before finally holding the button down speaking. “Vee think this food is vonderful, but vee vere thinking vee don't really know you all so vell.” There we go, I thought to myself as I released the button with a hopeful smile. Now that should break some of this tension.

Cross spoke next. “Well… I agree the food was wonderful, Mrs. Raindrops.”

Raindrops hummed out a grunt in response. She wasn’t actually eating anything, just lifting her wine glass to her lips. I wouldn’t call it drinking, per se, as the moment the wine touched her, it just began to bleed into her body, swirling around with everything else, giving her a bit of a rose tint. “Well, thank you, but I'm afraid that your praise isn't mine to take. Cold Hoof cooked the food,” she said, gesturing to her companion.

Looking over to the deer in question, he didn't seem too interested in the compliment, simply eating and nodding along with what she said. I wondered if this might be a deer thing, or just something having to do with him, specifically. Most ponies I’d met loved praise, and sometimes would try to coax it out, and he’d just brushed it off as if he was expected to do a good job.

“Well vee are, at the very least, glad to be out of Eqvestria,” I continued. “Vat are you folks doing this for?” Hopefully that was not a very invasive question. I didn’t mean to pry, but I was a bit curious, to be sure.

“I'm a wanted fugitive,” answered Jet right away, tearing off a chunk of crabmeat. “Enclave want to brand me a Dashite, and the best way I see to keep that from happening is fucking off entirely. I figured I might as well make some money in the process. Even if that means I have to work with a zebra…”

“Ha!” laughed Gwen, jabbing her fork in Jet’s direction. Of all the shit things I expected of you, a racist wasn’t among them, Air Head!”

“Air Head?!” shouted Jet, slamming her hooves on the table as she stood up. “I'll show you what for, Bird Brain!”

Not wanting to involve ourselves in the conflict, Aurora and Cross stood up, and the three of us took a step back. Well, a strafe back in my case. Cold Hoof stepped forward, about to separate the two of them, but it turned out he didn’t need to. The captain had whipped some watery tendrils around their wrists and froze them suddenly, locking the two in place.

The ice chilled the entire room. Even sitting on top of my thrusters, I could feel the chill permeating my shell. We all turned to the hostess, who cleared her throat.

“I will not tolerate in-fighting amongst yourselves if we're going to be working together. Like it or not, you’ll have to be working with whoever is available. If you can’t handle that, I can throw you overboard and find somepony else, but I don’t want to be forced to do that, so just chill.”

She looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh at her own pun. I have to wonder if the others actually found it funny, because nopony laughed. Thinking back, it may have been the mood. Her ice returned to a liquid state, rapidly returning into her body. Such a fascinating creature, I thought to myself.

“Now, I think Enjin has the right idea. You all need to learn about each other, or it won’t be raiders, mutants or animals that spell our doom. As a sign of good faith, I’ll start. I am a kelpie; a water elemental of sorts, and have control over the three states of liquid. I can even change what liquids I'm made of, should I have enough on hoof. I don’t much care for conflict, especially aboard my vessel, but I wield some pretty mean spells, so watch yourselves.”

“Well as much as I dislike it, me and Air Head over here are basically in the same boat,” grunted Gwen, almost slamming her ass back into her chair. “It's a Talon Company matter, not worth going into detail about.” She finished her food and pulled out her revolver. It was made for griffon claws specifically, and looked quite heavy, with an intricate engraving of her name over the barrel: Gwendlyn.

Aurora cleared her throat after Gwen finished speaking. “I'm simply looking to find a safe place to settle down outside of Equestria,” she said a bit softly. “I’m tired of waking up and wondering if I’m going to be shot today. I feel like that’s not too much to ask for.”

Cold and Raindrops exchanged worried glances and frowns. “Well,” started Raindrops, “I'm afraid where we're going is not a suitable home for anyone. You may have to wait quite a while before we head to a place safe enough to meet such a goal. Olinea is about as close to Tartarus as you can be, aside from actually going there.”

That made her ears droop back down. I didn’t think her desire was all that unreasonable. My own mind wondered what could ever be deadly enough to be comparable to Tartarus. The others simply looked amongst themselves at the revelation. The only thing that I can think would be bad enough to be equated to Tartarus would be Canterlot.

Aurora was the first to depart from the table after that. Cross wasn't far behind. As Gwen and Jet continued their dagger-glaring, I thought to myself, This is going to be an interesting adventure. Either way, it was better than being home under the queen.

Author's Note

Level 4, Game start