Bound Elemental

by Kendallonian

Rating: teen
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Suicide / Self Harm, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 34782

The journal of a fire elemental who has been ripped from their home and relocated to ponyville, equestria.

Hello. My name is Emerald Flare.

I don’t really see what need I have for a name, but the ponies keeping me seem very insistent on my using it as much as possible.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m entertaining their idea of writing everything down; well, I do, actually, I’m bored. Put it on the list of things I’m going to be taking vengeance for once I escape from this prison they’ve constructed for me.

So, let’s take this from the top; Hello. My sparking name is Emerald Flare, and I’m a fire elemental.

Thanks to Techiebrony for the cover art!

Published 2022-08-02 16:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-29 04:07:18 UTC

Entry 2: Unfortunately, this story isn't over yet.

Hello, it’s me again, Emerald Flare. No, I haven’t escaped yet. Sorry to disappoint.

Twilight has read my previous entry and came back with several questions; I figured I’d use this time to address a few of them in hopes that someone will finally see that I’ve done nothing wrong.

No, I didn’t have a name as another formless Elemental in a fiery void. There wasn’t exactly much use for identifying each other when it was basically understood that nothing mattered except getting things to keep burning. Emerald flare was the name Starlight gave me after a lengthy discussion on whether to call me that or Incandescence. Twilight came up with that second one; no offense to the wordy purple pony, but it was a bit of a mouthful.

I wouldn’t have minded “Ember”, but apparently that name is taken by the lord of some faraway dragon nation that visits here occasionally. Maybe she’d see my side of things. It doesn’t hurt to hope, I suppose.

Sparks, moving in this form is exhausting. That’s another joy of my time here; I can get tired. When I was free, I could zip around lighting everything on fire and be just fine for eons on end; the simple act of igniting the world fed me back, giving me all the energy I’d need. Now I’m limited to what these ponies give me; Usually just a log every few hours during the day.

By the way, If you’re reading this, Twilight, I could stand a little variety in my fuel; I tend to like pinecones; the way they snap and crackle as they shrivel into ash is just… well I’m not sure how to describe it, but it’s nice; Fire elementals don’t really have that many words for how they experience “eating”, I guess.

Oh, another pony came by to see me today. She said her name was Pinkie Pie and that she was here to cheer me up. She brought a cake, which I wasn’t really interested in, but for some reason there were little wax sticks on top that she had set on fire. That part was… nice. Pinkie seemed to think I was supposed to blow them out, but I just stared at them for a while, taking in the glow. I dunno what seemed so special about them, but it wasn’t like any other fire I’d ever seen. Usually the fires I make are… big. Powerful. Strong. Quick. These were… small, warm. Points of light that never went out.

Like me at the moment, I guess.

That might be why I felt so upset when the candles burned down to the bottom and petered out. A lot of emotions came to the surface suddenly and I… wasn’t prepared for it. I got mad. I lashed out at Pinkie, physically. I wasn’t able to do any real damage thanks to the forcefield between us, but… she looked scared, or betrayed, or something. She ran out before I could do anything else.

I’m… totally not sorry. She’s one of the ponies keeping me here, after all. My enemy. My enemy who just so happened to bring me some fascinating burn-sticks.

I… I don’t think I have the energy to say much more. You can just stop there, Spike.

Entry 3: On the terrors of Rainfall

It rained last night.

It was… terrifying.

Ponies don’t quite have the same relationship with water that I do. They drink it occasionally to stay alive. Sometimes they swim in it. Sometimes they get carried away and drown in it. I avoid it like the plague of existence that it is.

I don’t need to tell you that water and fire don’t mix, right? Suffice it to say I was fine… mostly. I was mildly creeped out by the patter of rain on the windows, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

I was on the floor with my hooves wrapped over my head when Twilight came to check on me.

I expected her to give a laugh at how hilarious I must’ve looked; cowering from something ponies must consider so mundane. I was ashamed and humiliated, but not enough to overpower my fear. I continued quivering on the floor. Bits of napalm dripped from my eyes and evaporated on the floor; I think Twilight called them tears later.

I was entirely surprised when I felt a hoof on my shoulder.

Physical contact is… a new thing for me. Sure, I’d occasionally brush past other elementals in the plane of fire, but that was never supposed to mean anything, and, being ephemeral, it wasn’t exactly the same anyway. My shoulder is still feeling tingly now, just thinking about it. Is that a bad sign? Should I go see some sort of elemental doctor? I guess Twilight might be the closest thing there is in that case.

After a bit of her just standing there, she sat down next to me. Her right wing was spread over my head, like an umbrella. I still don’t understand why she did any of it, but…

Twilight? If you’re reading this… It helped. I’m sorry for burning your fur when I went in for that hug. It was… involuntary.

What do you mean ‘the hug or the burning?’

I gotta get out of here before I go completely soft; these ponies are going to be the death of me.

Entry 4: WHAT.

Today I was visited by a very special pony. On the off chance that a fellow elemental is reading this, no, I haven’t gone soft, but… well I dunno. This pony was different.

That morning I was staring through a crack that had formed in the outer wall, pondering that if I wasn’t chained to this infernal prison I could just slip through it and never be seen again by anypony. I was pondering whether I could widen the gap with my bare hooves when a pony I had not met before came in.

She was tall, white-coated, with both wings and a horn. She stood on the far side of the room for a moment, just staring. I stared, too.

How do I describe this in a way that adequately describes what she is? She’s a fire; not literally, not that I could see anyway, but she was… warm. She radiated power in a way that a pony just… can’t. It was almost scary just to have her in the same room with me.

Then she just stepped through the forcefield in the middle of the room like it wasn’t even there.

Bear in mind, the wall is invisible, so it might not have looked impressive to someone who had just happened to see it, but I’ve been slamming myself against that wall for three days now. That thing is as solid as rock; you know what, scratch that; I’d be able to bust through the outer wall of the castle before I could break that forcefield.

And this pony just… no fanfare, no dramatic flash of light, no run up, just walked casually through it.

I panicked. I flattened myself up against the furthest corner of the room I could. She could probably tear this body apart with her teeth if I gave her a reason to. I hoped to the allspark that I hadn’t already.

She stood in the center of my cell, giving me a look I couldn’t read; Not that I’ve had a lot of practice. I curled up into my corner, trying to look as small and submissive as possible. I covered my face so I wouldn’t look into her eyes in case that offended her somehow.

And then she pulled me out and hugged me.

This was surprising for two reasons. The first reason is that I am not accustomed to hugs from… well anyone, really, but particularly not strangers, and particularly particularly not pony strangers. The second reason is that this body, while it contains my flame for the most part, is still hot enough to burn anypony it touches when I’m angry or nervous.

Well, almost anypony. The white alicorn didn’t even seem to notice I was boiling hot enough to turn an ordinary pony’s fur into instant ash.

I just stared over her shoulder for a bit while she held me, so many levels of what going through my head at once I couldn’t articulate anything. I was just… struck dumb.

After a few solid moments or minutes, can’t remember which, she pulled back, keeping her hooves planted on my shoulders and looking into my eyes.

Those eyes…they were deeper than an ocean, it seemed, and filled with a thousand different kinds of light. It’s funny, for all the time I spent staring dumbly into them, I couldn’t tell you what color they were.

“Emerald?” She said.

The hinge that constitutes my jaw was flapping, but no sound came out.

“My former student has given you the name ‘Emerald Flare’, has she not?” she asked again.

I surmised that attempting to make further sound wouldn’t work, so I nodded instead.

The alicorn nodded back, and pulled me into a hug again. “I am so sorry for the circumstances surrounding your arrival here. I know how difficult it must be for one of your kind to be so… limited. Helpless. I’m sorry.”

How did she know that? Had she been reading my journals, too? Who was she?

“H-h-who?” I managed to stammer out.

“A friend.” She said, simply. “As, I hope, one day, Twilight and her friends will be.”

Twilight? Ponies? As Friends? It was almost complete non-sequitur to me at the time. Not really the funny kind.

The white alicorn put me at hoof’s length again to stare me in the face.

“Listen to me, little spark. The path ahead of you is not one you or I would have chosen. It will be a difficult path for you, in particular, but I can say that it can either be the worst thing to ever happen to you… or the best. That will be entirely up to you to decide. Do you understand?”

“N-no.” I stammered, somehow, I was able to gain control of my voice. “H-how can this be the best thing that’s ever happened to me? I’m weak, I’m imprisoned, and I don’t just mean in this room… what is happening right now?”

“I’m charging you with a very important duty.” the alicorn said. “It may be the most important thing you will ever do. Do you understand?”

A few moments of silence followed before I remembered that I should probably reply.

“Yeah. What do you want me to do?”

For the first time, she smiled. It wasn’t even a big smile, just a slight upward curve to the ends of her mouth. I felt like it had triggered a small explosion, somewhere, somehow. I swear, every muscle twitch of this mare radiated power of some sort.

“Make some Friends.” she said.

Before my brain could tie itself in knots over whatever she had just said, the door opened and Twilight came through in a mild panic.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight said. “You should have told me you were- no, sorry. I just-”

“It’s alright, Princess Twilight.” the white alicorn said with a hint of humor in her voice. “I received your letters and came as quickly as I could manage.”

Princess Celestia, Twilight had said. I knew that name. It was one of the very few pony names that had ever reached the Plane of Fire from the outside. It was held in reverence by many, contempt by a few, and respected by all.

Princess Celestia, wielder of the sun.

Let me say that again.

WIELDER OF THE SUN.

She was here, in my prison cell.

And she had just given me the stupidest mission of all time.

But… WIELDER OF THE SUN.

Entry 5: On Celestia and Interplanar Relations

I am coming to learn that not many ponies know the true nature of the blob of fire that Celestia pulls through the sky every day. Most ponies know it as a giant ball of flaming gasses hundreds of miles away; which is mostly true, but it doesn’t really tell the whole story. What the sun really is is a window into the plane of fire; a small snippet of my world that you ponies use to make yours that much better.

You’re welcome, by the way. It’s just a shame you ponies don’t like the idea of letting us all come over to finish the job.

Of course, when I say ‘window’ some ponies might imagine a giant plane floating out in space, and that’s not exactly true; it’s a sphere, not a flat surface. Twilight keeps calling it a “Worm hole” but I’m not sure what the little wiggly bugs around here have to do with it.

Anyway, back when ponies were spending the magic of six unicorns a day to move this giant window through the sky, we fire elementals traveled to Equestria through the sun all the time; it was a bit of a long journey, but as long as you prepared well, really gorged yourself up, you could usually make the trip just fine and start the good work of the fire elementals here in Equestria; well, if you didn’t get intercepted by some well-meaning unicorns, first. There were a few wars fought that way, I think.

Then Celestia came; she was… Hardcore. You won’t catch me saying that about too many ponies, so don’t hold your breath. The unicorns could keep the fire elementals at bay, mostly, but Celestia beat us back singlehoofedly. She lassoed the sun and forced us to come to terms; As long as we stayed in the plane of fire, we were safe and we could burn as much as we wanted. If we stepped out, Celestia had free reign to swat us from the sky.

The fire elementals might hate her, except for one thing; for the whole time that she was beating us back into the sun, absolutely zero elementals were snuffed. You heard me right; zero casualties on our side, and she somehow still came out on top. For beating us back, she got our fear, but for doing it without hurting anyone, she got our respect.

To this day, I think she’s the only pony ever to have a successful parley with the fire elementals. Nopony else had the guts; or the wings, I suppose, those probably helped, since the negotiations took place a spark’s throw from the surface of the sun.

Was I there when it happened? That’s… difficult to say. Us fire elementals aren’t so stingy when it comes to our brain matter as you ponies are; we trade bits all the time, so parts of me were probably there more than a thousand years ago, but we fire elementals aren’t exactly renowned for our long memories. I know what happened, that’s good enough for me.

And yes, Starlight Glimmer, if you are reading this it’s entirely possible you did cause an international incident. I wonder if Celestia would consent to having you banished to the sun in retaliation? Ah… that warms my spark just thinking about it.

Disappointingly, though, I don’t think that’s gonna happen, even if my fellow elementals have noticed my absence, which I doubt. We don’t even use names there, if you recall. I probably won’t be missed.

Why does that thought suddenly seem so depressing?

I don’t need friends. I don’t want friends. I just want to get out of this sparking suit of armor and go back home where everything’s warmer.

Please?

Entry 7: In which I dent my face and lose a staring contest

I was hitting my head against the outer wall for most of today.

Yes, literally. Did you not see the hole in that wall? That was done with my face. I guess I was right when I said I’d break through that before I could get through Twilight’s forcefield. Not that that was my thought process at the time my head was smashing into the wall; I just wanted something to do that would stave off the ever-present boredom.

Yeah, it hurt. What about it?

Oh, hurt is the feeling you get when you should stop doing something? I was honestly not aware. Having a body is a new thing for me. Looking back, it was rather unpleasant on some level.

After a while of smacking my face into the wall I noticed that the crystal in the walls had started to crack, so I kept going. I started digging with my hooves, too. Twilight must’ve been off on an errand or something because I’d already almost gotten an opening large enough to slip through when she came in to see what the ruckus was about.

She’d been ‘lost in a book?’ What does that even mean? Those things are tiny; how could she get lost in one?

Anyway, once Twilight came onto the scene to see what the noise was about I knew I had seconds left to work, so I charged the hole I had made and broke through to the other side. Some part of me had forgotten the hundred-foot drop on the other side, but the other part just didn’t care. Maybe that part had also forgotten I could no longer fly. I tumbled a bit before hitting the ground with my front hooves. I dunno what sort of shoddy work Starlight did when assembling this prison, but the hooves immediately buckled and cracked; Fire started bleeding out of the fissures in small, concentrated jets.

I didn’t know what that meant, exactly, and I was probably too excited to care. What I knew at the time was that my hooves were hurting and I was, temporarily at least, free, but Twilight was looking down at me from the hole I’d blown in the castle wall, so I ran.

At that point, I’d never had to run in this body before; I’d had plenty of practice pacing around my cell, but running is a different thing altogether; mostly because it takes a lot of energy to keep moving. I am ashamed to say I stumbled a bit getting started, but after that I like to think I did fairly well for a first-timer. I trucked it as fast as I could through the streets of ponyville; I might’ve brushed past a few ponies on the way, but mostly they saw me coming and gave me a wide berth. It wasn’t long before Twilight managed to teleport in front of me, so I cut a hard left through an alley; as I went the torches blowing from my hooves caught on the house to my right, causing panicked exclamations from a good number of ponies as I emerged. Twilight, fortunately, was distracted long enough by putting out the flames for me to get away.

It was about this time that I started getting winded, but I pushed through it; if I could keep it up a bit longer, I’d be home-free, and then I could figure out whatever problem I had with the armor later.

Ahead, most ponies were getting out of the way, but a family of bunnies had just exited the veterinary clinic nearby and hadn’t noticed me. It didn’t matter, though. They’d either see me and scatter, or I’d plow through them. A gutteral gout of flame hissed from my throat, making a noise I didn’t know I could; some sort of growl or snarl. I expected the bunnies to scatter, then, but instead a butter-yellow pegasus stepped into my path.

At first I thought that she must be the most oblivious pegasus in the world, but then I saw that she was staring right at me, and once I looked into those steely eyes, everything was a blur. One second, I was barreling at full speed towards her, and the next, I was sitting down on the cobblestones, skid marks leading up to my hooves, and her face was inches from my own.

And I was scared.

Y’know the feeling that I got from Celestia, that she just exudes more power than any pony had a right to have? Yeah, well it was the same with this one, except she stood at a little less than half Celestia’s height and didn't even have a horn. It made zero sense, yet I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers. It took all I had just to keep myself from quaking in fear.

It had to be minutes spent just staring at each other in the street before she spoke to me, softly but evenly.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

I think I actually made a “meep”. A very uncomfortable, cold feeling was expanding in my gut.

I could hear hooves approaching from behind, probably Twilight and her student finally catching up after putting out my fires. I tried to inch around the side of this pegasus in order to keep running, but she held my gaze like there was a set of chains holding us together. I got all of two inches.

“Do you think it’s excusable to just try and scare away a bunch of innocent bunnies like that?” she asked.

There was no right answer to that; at that point I didn’t even care if Twilight put me back in my cell; I needed to get away from this tiny yellow pegasus with the pink mane and the steel eyes. I tried scooting away, but she kept eye contact. The bunnies behind her tipped their heads out to see what was going on.

“Apologize.” She said, gesturing to the bunnies, who were looking up with innocent eyes. Well, except for one, who looked like he had no mercy whatsoever.

My captors were behind me, a very angry yellow pegasus and several distraught bunnies before me, and that cold feeling in my gut was still expanding. My mind was beginning to fade, and I was having trouble keeping myself conscious. Words started forming in my mouth; almost of their own accord, though I wanted to resist them every step of the way.

“I- I’m… I… gotta go-”

“Apologize.” the pegasus said again.

My mouth trembled, my mind felt weak. I was losing awareness of anything except her eyes. I might have started crying again.

“I- I’m… I’m sorry…”

Those were the last words I heard before I blacked out completely.

So, a little update on the condition Starlight’s prison has left me in. it seems that sometimes, when the armor is damaged, it can let out some small jets of flame like it did when I broke my hooves falling from the castle. Flames can exit, but I, specifically, cannot. That means as flames spit out of my body, it gets colder, and my spark has less heat to sustain itself, and I begin to die. The process can also be accelerated by me using up energy to move, say, running at a full sprint for a few minutes trying to evade my captors. It’s the same basic principle that makes it so I have to be fed a log or two every day to keep myself alive, except that during that whole chase I was losing heat at a much more rapid rate than I would, normally.

I woke up hours later, on a bed of burning wood chips and in a brand-new, magically reinforced cell. My hooves had been repaired by Starlight so I wouldn’t lose any more heat that way; according to her my face was also pretty banged up from smashing it against the wall so much.

I should be mad, shouldn’t I?I just found out this armor is a death-trap. I just got shoved back into a locked room after getting stared down by a pegasus a good few inches shorter than myself. Who was that, by the way?

Fluttershy? Really? I’m never going to live this down, am I?

And yet, I don’t think I can bring myself to care enough to get mad. Maybe I’m just too tired to get mad. Maybe a brush with death like the one I had today just makes you glad to be alive. Maybe after all I’ve seen I’ve just raised my standards for what qualifies as a bad day.

Sparks, that’s a depressing thought.

As a parting bit, I just wanna say that I think this Fluttershy has been the first pony besides Celestia to successfully parley with a fire elemental. Whatever it was she did, you can tell her I found it both fascinating and terrifying and I hope to never experience it again.

Author's Note

Whatever I wrote in the next bits of the story, I wanted Fluttershy to be the second pony in over a thousand years to successfully talk down a fire elemental. So here we are.

Entry 8: Compromise?

Okay, I’m going to be brutally honest with you, Twilight Sparkle.

I can’t not burn things when I see them. Call it a way of life, call it an addiction, whatever. It’s a fact that I’m hardwired to burn things. I can’t just turn it off.

But… I can’t spend another day cooped up in this tiny room.

I know you must have… some very strong feelings about my burning your library, so I’m willing to never, ever go in there again, but if I do somehow end up in the middle of a giant pile of extremely flammable books, thatch, or crude oil, all bets are off; I can make no promises.

That’s… that’s what I’ve got. That’s all I can offer. Sorry if you were expecting more.

Can you work with it? Please?

Ohhhh ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou!

Entry 9: Freedom... sorta.

Today Twilight authorized me to come out of my room. She’d prepared a significant portion of the castle, my entire floor, by clearing out any and all ‘temptations’ as she put it. I think she spent a good portion of the night making sure everything was perfect; though I didn’t quite expect some of the things she did.

The first thing I did, though, when the forcefield dropped, was run.

No, not like you’re thinking; I figured I couldn’t escape from the castle; Twilight had probably barricaded every door and stairwell out of the play area with another forcefield and reinforced every wall too; but that probably didn’t stop a mild panic attack from her when I bolted down the hallway as soon as I was sure I was free. She used a mix of flying and teleportation to keep up with me as I made my first circuit around the floor, but soon enough she realized I wasn’t going anywhere in particular, and just sat in one place as I made a few rounds of the floor. For those of you who don’t know, the floor I was kept in was where most of her guest rooms in the castle are, and they’re all connected to a big, round hallway that loops the entire floor. I circled the entire thing four or five times before slowing down to take a break. By that time, I was breathing heavily to feed oxygen to the flames in my chest.

“I never thought you’d be an exercise buff.” Twilight said as I panted happily back towards her.

“Not exercise, no.” I said. “Going fast. Freedom. Movement. Fire was never meant to stand still.”

Twilight seemed to process that for a moment before speaking again.

“Come on, I’ve prepared a spot in my second study if you need a rest.”

I nodded wearily and followed her to one of the many rooms around the circumference of the hall; To my surprise, I found that not everything had been cleared off this floor; two plush-looking armchairs were situated in the middle of the room, facing each other, a small stack of firewood and a wood-ax between them.

“Uh…” a small utterance escaped my mouth-hole as I looked at the extremely flammable-looking objects.

“The chairs are enchanted.” Twilight said. “They’re entirely flame-retardant. The firewood is yours.”

I’ll be honest, I was kinda disappointed that the chairs weren’t for eating. I did, however, immediately scoop up the firewood from the floor and start choking it down like a seagull. Twilight looked surprised, but didn’t object. It didn’t occur to me until much later that the wood-ax on the floor may have been for chopping this stuff into more manageable chunks.

Twilight sat down in one of the chairs; I assume she meant the other for me, so I took it.

It was… squishy, I guess. Not that it was underwhelming, quite the opposite; but I find it difficult to describe; in my home plane there’s nothing that squishy. That, coupled with the fact that I’ve only had a solid buttocks for about a week now, meant that every sensation I experienced as I bounced up and down in that chair was new and strange. Mostly, though, I was still shoving long chunks of wood down my throat.

“So, how are you feeling?” Twilight asked.

I looked away from the chunk of wood I was swallowing whole to gauge Twilight’s expression. I was surprised to find genuine concern behind her eyes.

“Much better now, thank you.” I said, soon afterward resuming my swallow.

“And… do you think you’d be interested in more?” Twilight asked.

“More days where I can just run around the floor as I please? Yes, thank you.”

Twilight smiled. “Well, yes, I assumed as much, but what I really meant was, would you be interested in seeing even more of the castle, perhaps even outside?”

I stopped eating. I looked her in the eyes again, and swallowed the last big of a chunk of log. There were more pieces in my lap, but I left them for later.

“Outside?” I asked incredulously. “You mean, the place with all the buildings with thatched, flammable roofs and entire forests of flammable trees? Outside outside?”

Twilight nodded. “I’m not talking about letting you burn everything to the ground, of course. I meant it as a way for you to get all the… the movement and freedom you want, while still keeping everypony and their possessions safe, not to mention allowing you to make friends.”

Oh. That was disappointing. I held another chunk of wood above my head in preparation to drop it wholesale into my gullet.

“Ah, I dunno how to tell you this, princess, but that’s not a promise I can make.” Gulp.

“Why not? You want to get out of here, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s not a matter of what I want, it’s a matter of willpower; and
I have, like, none. Zilch. Zero. when I get out of here, the world burns.”

“It’s also a matter of honesty, I suppose.” Twilight said, thoughtful.

I paused for another moment. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, you could have said you’d be good and then just started burning everything the instant you were out of my sight.”

“Yeah, well maybe I’ve just thought this through a bit further than that.”

“Or maybe, dishonesty simply isn’t in your nature.” Twilight said, leaning forward in her chair.

I paused for a moment to reflect.

“I guess not.” I said. “Lying is hard. Harder than I care to try. Like I said, I have zero willpower.”

“Well then, in some ways I very much appreciate your lack of willpower.”

I snorted. A brief spurt of smoke and flame escaped my nostrils.”You won’t appreciate it so much when I’m halfway down the countryside, princess.”

“Well, in any case, I might be able to help with that, if you’d consent to an experiment.”

Suddenly I was nervous. “Ah, are you talking about magic brain surgery? Cuz I don’t like the sound of magic brain surgery.”

“No, no. Nothing so involved.” Twilight said quickly, pulling a small package of blank parchment from the ether and offering one to me.

“Ooh, another snack?” I asked as I reached for the parchment, but Twilight pulled it back before I could touch it.

“Not quite. This is my experiment; I just so happened to accidentally order a few extra boxes of parchment than I normally use this week so I’ve decided to give it to you.”

I put on a confused look.

“If it’s not a snack, what do you expect me to do with it? Pee on it?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Twilight said. “Every morning, I’ll place ten sheets of paper in your room. Then, in the evening when I come back, I’ll count how many are left. If you burn them or eat them, that’s fine, we can just continue like we’ve been doing; I’ll let you out to roam this floor once a week at the very least, and if that’s how you want it, then nothing will ever change. But…” Twilight paused for effect. “For every sheet of paper I find whole and undamaged in your room at the end of the day, I’m going to put a mark on your record, and for every one-hundred marks you gain, I’ll expand your privileges.”

“Privileges like… more rooms to explore? Less time alone in a tiny room?” I clarified.

Twilight nodded.

I thought about it for a while.

Then a grin began to expand on my face. I began to laugh.

Twilight looked confused by my reaction.

“You think it’s silly, don’t you?” she asked.

“A little bit, yeah.” I said, struggling to get the words out between chuckles. “Whew. Don’t get me wrong, it sounds nice, but I mostly find it hilarious that you have this much confidence in my ability to resist temptation. I literally just told you I have zero willpower. This… is not gonna work.”

Twilight gave a dismissive shrug. “Well, worst case scenario, you get some extra snacks every morning, right?”

My laughter was winding down at that point. I noticed a napalm tear had found it’s way onto my face, so I flicked it away with a hoof.

“Sure. why not? Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Entry 10: Hate

Today Twilight came in early in the morning and gingerly placed ten sheets of parchment next to each other on the floor. I think she tried to strategically place them so that burning one wouldn’t accidentally catch the others. As soon as it happened, though, I knew none of those papers would be making it to the end of the day.

I experimented with the first one, trying to see just how much it took for the thing to burst into ashes. Prodding it with a hoof didn’t do any damage, so I tried sustained contact next. Smoke began to rise from under my hoof after a few seconds, and when I retracted, I’d left a charred hoofprint on its surface. A second later, my hoofprint burst into flames as the heat I’d imparted to the parchment found oxygen and fuel.

I just laid down in front of the small fire and watched as the paper curled up and transformed into the truest state of matter.

It was just a tiny flame, but I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy, seeing it. I moved on to the next one, this time I crumpled it up into a ball and threw it into my mouth, where it crackled and popped pleasantly as it broke apart and filtered through my neck into my stomach.

I was leaning against the wall, pondering what sort of unique doom sheets three and four would be sentenced to when a certain unicorn intruded upon my solitude.

“Are you even trying at this point?” Starlight said.

I opened an annoyed eye at the one most responsible for imprisoning me here.

“Trying what, exactly?” I asked.

“Refraining from burning everything within your reach so Twilight can trust you? She was here with ten papers just a minute ago, and two are already gone.”

I closed my eye again.

“As a matter of fact, no, I am not trying. I find the burny path much more gratifying at the moment.”

I heard Starlight give a heavy sigh, and I smiled, keeping my eyes closed.

“Do you even want to be free?” Starlight asked.

“Extremely. Maybe you and the princess ought to be researching a way to send me back home so we can both get what we want.”

Starlight was incredibly silent after that. My smile widened, as I had thought that I had given her an irrefutable argument. When I looked to see her crooked face, however, she was looking at me most peculiarly.

Almost with… pity?

My smile disappeared.

“What’s that look for?” I asked.

Starlight couldn’t look me in the eyes. Her gaze was lowered to the floor.

I started getting angry.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, barely keeping myself from yelling it.

After a few moments of silence, Starlight said; “I just came from the library; I… couldn’t find anything to help you. I went through Twilight’s entire collection…”

“How long is this going to take?” I asked evenly.

“I don’t know. The thing is… nopony has ever done any magic like this before; we might be able to find something in the canterlot archives, but if not…”

I clenched my jaw tighter. I could feel a growl forming in my throat.

“If not, then what?”

Starlight cautiously looked me in the eyes.

“If not, the condition might be permanent.”

I slammed a hoof against the forcefield that separated us. If it hadn’t been there, I would’ve smacked her halfway across the room, and possibly also set her on fire.

“NO! You do not get to say that. You did this; you’re going to keep working on it until you find some sort of solution!”

“I don’t think you understand-” she began, but I was having none of it.

“I WON’T BE TRAPPED HERE FOREVER! I WON’T! I…”

I couldn’t think of any more words to say, so I started swinging at the forcefield; maybe if I could break it I could strangle the answers out of her. Soon, though, my focus shifted to trying to find any way out of this room at all; I clawed at the walls at an ever-increasing rate, sometimes hitting with enough force to leave a mark on the crystalline structure. I shot flames from my mouth in every direction, even as I felt the heat draining from my body I kept it coming; this prison cell had to have some sort of weakness; just like there had to be some way out of this infernal, mortal shell. I just had to fight to find it.

By the time I was done, every surface in my cell had been scarred and scored black. Everything was trailing little wisps of smoke. The remaining parchments, suffice it to say, were gone. Utterly and completely.

I stood in the center of it all, breathing heavily. The flames in my chest were sputtering erratically; I had used too much heat, and I was suffering the consequences.

Spike, take a note; I hate you all. I hope you burn. Good day. Have a nice life. I never want to speak to any of you ever again.

Entry 11: Flutters

I’m not dead yet. I’ll let you decide whether that’s good news.

I started eating again a few hours after Twilight’s last visit. I feel warmer now, if not entirely better.

Twilight suggested that getting my thoughts out in the open might help. I don’t see how, but at this point I’ll try.

Hi, I’m Emerald Flare; the freak of nature that resulted from a fire elemental and a unicorn who barely knows what she’s doing.

Twilight promised me that she’d do her best to find me a place in this world. At this point, that’s all I’m clinging to. Nothing else matters. If I let my mind slip to other things, I’m going to break down.

I am not gonna die… today.

Today Twilight brought over a visitor; the yellow pegasus who stared me down in the street the other day; Fluttershy. When Twilight called her in by name, I almost reflexively pinned myself against the far wall. I had precisely one memory associated with that name and it had been terrifying.

When Fluttershy came in, her eyes were mostly hidden by her mane, which I was grateful for. I still quivered.

“Are you.. Okay?” she asked. Her words were filled with empathy, and barely reached my side of the room.

“A little… shaken.” I answered honestly.

Twilight put a hoof around Fluttershy’s back and said, “It’s okay. For both of you. Let’s get closer. I’d really like you two to meet properly.”

Fluttershy slowly took a few steps closer, to the forcefielded edge of my cell. Her movements were careful and hesitant, which took me a second to process. Could it be that she was as scared of me as I was of her?

I peeled myself off of the wall, one limb at a time. I crept forward much like she had, trying to resist the urge to hide in a corner.

I stopped a few feet away; just outside of touching distance, if the forcefield hadn’t been between us.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight said, pointing to me. “This is Emerald Flare. Emerald…” -Twilight pointed back to her friend- “This is Fluttershy.”

“Hi…” I said. “Uh… forgive me if I don’t shake hooves. There’s this forcefield and… I usually burn things I touch.”

Fluttershy nodded and said something I couldn’t hear; probably acknowledgement. I sat down where I stood.

We had long moment of silence before I spoke again. “Um… I dunno how you wanna take this, but… you seem less… scary than the last time we met.”

Flutershy nodded again. When it became apparent Fluttershy wasn’t going to say any more, Twilight cut in.

“She’s usually very shy, but I’ve learned that she’s the bravest pony I’ve ever known when it counts.”

Fluttershy gave a small smile; one that appreciated the compliment, but maybe wasn’t sure it was deserved.

I suddenly felt I knew this pony far better than I had a few seconds ago. I smiled in reciprocation, just a bit.

“Well, Fluttershy, did you know that you’re only the second pony to be able to talk down a Fire Elemental in over a thousand years?”

Fluttershy’s head lifted a bit so one eye could look at mine from under her mane. I almost flinched, expecting another steely stare, but instead I got a soft look of curiosity and wonder.

I felt encouraged by the look.

“It’s true. The only other pony who’s managed it, to my knowledge, is Princess Celestia, so you’re in very good company.”

Fluttershy’s smile grew, and at the same time she looked away, blushing.

My spark jumped inside me. There might have still been a scrap of paper from this morning’s breakfast fluttering around in my stomach, because I swear I felt it tickle me from the inside just then. I dunno what exactly was going on there, but… I think I wanted more. Is that normal? Should I see the elemental-doctor? I mean, arrange a checkup with Twilight?

I took a deep breath. I was running out of things to say.

“Um, Fluttershy? I’m sorry about… almost trampling the bunnies in the street. It turns out that I was bleeding heat at the time, so… you stopping me at that point probably saved my life. So thank you.”

Fluttershy got a peculiar expression on her face. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it; it was mostly a smile, but…there was something else in there, too. Pride? But not in herself…
Was she proud of me? Why would that be? I’ve literally done nothing but inconvenience her and her friends since I got here.

Before I could think on it much longer, Fluttershy placed a hoof on the transparent forcefield and gestured towards it with her head. I hesitated, not sure exactly what she wanted me to do, but eventually I placed a hoof on the forcefield too, directly across from hers. We just sat there for a few moments, pressing our hooves together.

I suppose that’s the closest thing to a hug she could give me.

At some point in that time, I started crying napalm tears again. I couldn’t understand why; wasn’t that supposed to be a thing you did when you were sad? Whatever it was must’ve been contagious because the next thing I knew Fluttershy and Twilight were crying, too.

My scribe, Spike, insists that he was miraculously dry-eyed through the entire thing. I don’t know if I believe him.

See, Spike! You’re doing it again just thinking about it!

Oh, sparks; I might start crying just thinking about it, too. I better finish this off quickly.

Fluttershy left soon afterward, but she quietly promised to come back to check how I was doing from time to time. I think I might be looking forward to it.

Is that okay? To look forward to something even when I know nothing is ever going to be the same? Is it a betrayal of my past life to think this new life might not be terrible in every conceivable way? I’ll have to think about that one, maybe.

I might have to report my progress to Princess Celestia, too.

Entry 12: Miniature Professional Help

Twilight sent my last entry to Princess Celestia. Apparently Spike’s fire is enchanted to be a direct ‘port to the empty space right above the Princess’s head. I asked if I could get something like that, But Twilight says she doesn’t quite trust me to not send the princess oodles of steamy fanfiction as a prank.

Not that I blame her, ‘cuz I totally would. Don’t try to tell me the princess wouldn’t get a kick out of it, either.

Twilight brought me some more visitors today. This time they were considerably more miniature; three fillies by the names of Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. Twilight said that they usually worked with ponies who could get Cutie Marks, but if anyone could help me to find a purpose in life, it was them. After all, that was apparently their purpose in life.

The first thing that struck me when they came in at Twilight’s invitation was how young they looked. Granted, I’m not much of a judge of age, but these kids were like, a quarter of Twilight’s volume each.

No, I’m not calling Twilight fat, those fillies are just that small.

The initial look of surprise on the fillies’ faces as they entered was the same, but they each evolved independently into unique expressions. Sweetie Belle, a short white unicorn with a curly mane, seemed slightly worried, like I was gonna torch her for looking at me wrong. Apple Bloom, a pale yellow earth pony, seemed curious, and immediately started looking me up and down as if she was trying to figure out how I worked. Scootaloo was last in line through the door; an orange pegasus with stubby little wings that couldn’t have been useful for much. After her initial shock died down, a grin started spreading on her face, and it didn’t stop until I thought it was going to tear her face clean in half.

“That’s so COOOOOOOL!” she shreiked.

I looked around the room, and, seeing that there were no other interesting objects around, pointed a tentative hoof at myself. “Really? Well, I’m flattered, but I’d appreciate it if you used a different word to describe me; that one just feels vaguely insulting.”

Scootaloo wrinkled her snout for a second before saying “Ohhhh,,, I get it. ‘Cuz you’re all… burny.”

By this time Apple Bloom was plastered against the forcefield wall, squinting at me like it might let her see more detail.

“How’s yer snout move like that? I don’t see any hinges!”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Does it matter?”

Sweetie, meanwhile, was looking warily at the ends of my appendages.

“Would it hurt if I touched you?” She asked.

“Hurt me? No. Hurt you? Yes.” I replied.

It was Apple Bloom’s turn again.

“So yer lookin’ fer your cutie mark?” she said.

“Uh- not as such, no. I don’t think I can… can I?” I looked to Twilight.for confirmation.

Twilight gave a big shrug. “I mean, I assume not, but… it’s not like there’s precedent.”

I wasn’t sure how deep down that rabbit hole I wanted to go. After a moment of mortified thought, I said;

“Let’s assume for now that we’re just looking for something I can do really well without getting a lot of ponies mad at me.”

“Oh… okay!” Apple Bloom said. She almost sounded disappointed, but that feeling quickly passed.

“Well, what do you do well?” Scootaloo asked.

“I light fires.” I said.

The following silence was deafening.

“Huh, uh… well…” Apple Bloom uttered. She, along with the other two crusaders, seemed deep in unpleasant thoughts.

“How do you feel about barbeques?” Scootaloo ventured.

“Does that involve burning things to a crisp?” I asked. Scootaloo cringed, visibly.

“Prefferably not.” Scootaloo said. For some reason, she was looking at Sweetie Belle when she said it, who started blushing furiously.

“Oh. then probably not.” I said.

“Well, fire can’t hurt you, right?” Apple Bloom asked

“Well, no. Why?”
“You could be a fire-pony!” Apple Bloom announced.

“Uh, I dunno if you’ve noticed, but I am a fire pony.”

“I believe she means a pony whose job it is to put out fires, rescue foals from burning buildings, things like that.” Twilight cut in.

“Oh!” I said. “Oh.” I said again, horrified. “Uh, I’m afraid not. Call it, Uh… conflict of interest.”

It was Twilight’s turn to cringe. “Yeeeah… maybe we should steer clear of that issue for now.”

Sweetie Belle’s turn came; her hoof was raised to her chin, and she was deep in thought.

“Well, do you have any other skills?” she asked. “You might be good at drawing, or painting…”

“Lemme stop you right there.” I said. “Burning hooves.”

Sweetie abruptly stomped her hoof back onto the floor. “Dang it!”

I think I actually smiled, then. We were getting nowhere with this, but at least they were trying their best; that’s all I could ask.

“Well, I think I’m fresh out of ideas. You girls?” I said.

“Yup.” Scootaloo said, defeated.

“Well don’t you worry, miz Flare!” Apple Bloom said. “We’ll keep on thinking and we’ll get back to you as soon as we think of somethin’. Cutie Mark Crusader’s honor!”

“Yeah!” Sweetie agreed. “We won’t stop until you find your Cutie Mark! Er- I mean… something you’re good at!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo continued. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Elemental Helpers, Awaaaay!”

The three fillies ran around each other in a circle briefly before exiting the room, presumably to get back to their clubhouse and start scheming. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“They’re adorable.” I told Twilight once I was sure they were out of earshot.

“They are.” Twilight said. “And their older sisters are very proud of what they’ve accomplished.”

“I’m sure they are.” I said. “I just hoped we’d have made more progress today.”

“Oh, I think we’ve made plenty of progress today.” Twilight said, smiling. A yawn suddenly escaped her lips. “Oh, goodness, it’s getting late. Maybe I need to turn in. I’ll just be taking these with me.”

Twilight pulled a collection of parchment papers from the corner of my room. I blinked in shock.

There were ten of them left, all undamaged. I had completely forgotten about them during the day.

“Good night.” Twilight said as she walked out the door. I think she was still smiling.

“Good night.” I said distractedly.

Author's Note

I think this has been the most enjoyable chapter for me to write so far. I hope it's just as enjoyable for you to read it!

Entry 13: The Pink One Returns

Today Twilight thought it was a good idea to have another small outing into the rest of my floor, which I am grateful for. While interacting with visitors can stave off the omnipresent boredom, Nothing is a real substitute for getting yourself moving around. My legs have been getting a bit twitchy lately.

Of course, my run around the castle was soon interrupted by a pink thing dropping from the ceiling and shouting “HAPPY TEN-PAPER DAY!”

I’m not exactly used to this form yet; the weight of the metal around me carries a lot of momentum that I simply didn’t have to worry about as a formless torch. So, when I tried to stop, instead of the immediate reaction I was expecting, I slid the remaining few feet and practically tackled the pink thing, rolling with her a few times before landing on top.

Twilight soon caught up with me, a panicked look on her face. “Ohmygosh! Pinkie! Are you okay?”

It took me a moment to realize that the pony who had visited me on my second day was underneath me. Once I did, I quickly retracted myself onto my haunches. Had I already burned her beyond repair? Would Twilight never trust me outside my cell again?

Pinkie just smiled. “No worries! I brought my oven mitts!” Her hooves extended to show me the oversized, padded mittens on their ends. I also noticed that she was wearing a baker’s apron, and I could see a couple of crescent-shaped black marks where I’d burned it with my hooves.

Twilight screwed up her snout. “Pinkie… that should not have worked.”

“Of course it worked, silly! That’s what oven mitts are for!” Pinkie replied, still smiling. Then she leapt up and said “SURPRISE! Are you surprised, Emerald?”

“Uh… Yes.” I said warily. “What am I surprised about?”

“A surprise party to celebrate the Ten-paper day you had yesterday!” Pinkie said.

“Surprise… party? What’s…” I didn’t even finish asking before Pinkie’s eyes grew wider than I was aware was physically possible. “What is this?” I finally said as I looked her up and down.

“You mean… this is your first surprise party?!” It looked like she couldn’t decide between the conflicting emotions of absolute horror and unprecedented joy; her face was rapidly switching between the two, but she finally settled on a grin too big for her entire face.

I looked to Twilight for an explanation, but she seemed to suddenly be very deep in thought, like something potentially very important had just occurred to her. She was looking at me in… pity? I didn’t like it; I’d enjoyed my life up to this moment just fine, thank you very much.

“Stop looking at me like that and tell me what a party is.” I said. I certainly hope my foul mood was properly communicated in those words. Pinkie, soon afterward, grabbed my shoulders with her oven mitts and pulled me in close so that my face was millimeters from hers.

“A party is the Most. Fun. Ever.” Pinkie said as she tried to drill the seriousness of this event into my soul with her eyes. Then her smile returned. “You play games and have snacks and you get to have a BUNCH OF FUN with your friends!”

“I.. don’t have any friends.” I said cautiously. Pinkie didn’t stop smiling, however. She did retract her face from mine and casually blew out a small candle-like flame that had started on the end of her mane.

“That’s okay!” Pinkie said. “I’ll be your friend today! And maybe next time we can invite Fluttershy, and Sweetie belle and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and Twilight- oh, no that’s silly. She’s already here!” Pinkie giggled briefly, followed quickly by her reaching into her mane and pulling out a pinecone.

It wasn’t just a pinecone, of course. She’d taken one of her small, colorful candles and stuck it in the top. It wasn’t lit, though.

I tilted my head at the thing she’d made. “What is… that?”

“It’s a party snack! I usually make cupcakes but I didn’t know your favorite flavor and then I remembered you said you like pinecones-”

“Wait, Pinkie-” Twilight interrupted “-You’ve been reading Emerald’s journals?”

“Of course, Twilight! How else am I supposed to study up to make her the BEST. PARTY. EVER!?” Pinkie replied.

I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.

“Okay, but... What’s with the candle? And wasn’t it lit last time?” I asked.

“Well, normally it’s tradition to blow out the candles, but you didn’t want to do that last time, so I figured what if instead, you blow the candle in instead of out?”

“What?”

“Light the candle, silly!” Pinkie said as she put an oven mitt around my back and used the other to hold the pinecone in front of me.

After a moment of indecision, I blew a short stream of flame at the candle and lit the wick. Pinkie applauded me through her oven mitts, then pulled up one of my hooves so she could deposit the pinecone into it.

“Enjoy!” she said. I looked at the thing in my hoof and thought, well, why not? I opened my mouth and threw the thing in, swallowing it whole.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a decent, crackly pinecone. I’m actually not even sure my original memory of burning pinecones is mine, really, or some other ancient elemental who I may have traded memories with a while ago, but either way the popping feeling of bursting pockets of water and air was familiar. What wasn’t so familiar was a warm feeling that slid it’s way down my throat simultaneously.

I shivered and stared into the middle distance. “Whoah… what was that… warm, gooey feeling?”

“Probably the candle melting.” Twilight suggested. “I’m not sure you were supposed to eat that part.”

I nodded slowly. That made sense. Just one more question, then.

“Can I do it again?”

“I am an accidental GENIUS.” Pinkie declared.

Author's Note

Maybe I should have continued writing about the rest of Pinkie's party, But I couldn't help wanting to end on that line from Pinkie. That, and I somehow stopped on exactly a thousand words. I figured it was fate.

Sparkle's Study on Preventative Measures

Series of experiments conducted by Twilight Sparkle, August 10, 1120, to determine the viability of industrial oven mitts as a fire-retardant measure for the subject ‘Emerald Flare’ to use in daily interactions.

Experiment 1: Control

A blank journal of 100 pages was introduced into the subject’s enclosure. Subject was instructed to pick it up, flip through a few pages, and put it back down.

Result: Subject picked up the book with her bare hooves. Approximately 1.2 seconds after initial exposure, the book burst into flames.

Notes: No need for the sarcastic looks, Emerald. The control group is an important part of any scientific test, no matter how obvious the inevitable outcome may be.

Experiment 2:

A blank journal of 100 pages was introduced into the subject’s enclosure. Subject was instructed to don preventative measures in the form of a pair of industrial-grade oven mitts, and then pick up the book, flip through it’s pages, and put it back down.

Result: Subject donned preventative measures and picked up the book as instructed. Subject became unresponsive as she stared at the book in her hooves for approximately 3.5 seconds before the subject rapidly swallowed the book whole, destroying it.

Notes: That’s… disappointing. I may have been overly-optimistic with the effectiveness of these safety measures. Still, the oven mitts are theoretically effective; the book’s survival time almost tripled before Emerald couldn't restrain themselves any longer;

Experiment 3:

A plush toy resembling a rabbit was introduced into the subject’s enclosure. Subject was instructed to don preventative measures as previously described and interact with the object.

Result: Subject picked up the toy and proceeded to hug it to their uncovered chest, causing it to burst into flames within 1.6 seconds of initial exposure.

Notes: I thought that something cuter might cause Emerald to hesitate before destroying it. I was incorrect. After the test I held out hope that Emerald might have simply forgotten that her chest lacked any preventative measures, but Emerald herself said that she never had any intention of sparing the plush toy. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

Experiment 4:

A blank journal of 100 pages was introduced into the subject’s enclosure. Subject was instructed to don preventative measures as previously described, then close their eyes for the duration of the test. The journal was then placed into their hooves via telekinesis and the subject was instructed to flip through a few pages and then drop the book without otherwise interacting.

Result: Experiment progressed as laid out until the subject began flipping pages. After the first page was flipped, the subject then crammed the entire open book through their mouth and swallowed it, destroying it 10.4 seconds after initial exposure.

Notes: We’re making a small amount of progress; being unable to see the book in her hooves increased Emerald’s resistance significantly, but according to her the sound of the pages turning broke the illusion and caused her to lose control again.

Additional notes: After the conclusion of these tests, Subject appears to display shuddering motions similar to those of an adrenaline rush; Even hours afterward the subject seems to display reduced self-control, as she has burned all of the parchments I’ve introduced to her cell as a part of my previous ongoing experiment. For this reason, I think I’ll have to delay any further experiments until the Subject gains additional mental discipline. It’s disappointing, but for now I think I’ll have to accept defeat.

Comment by the subject: “Honestly, this whole thing went better than I thought it would. Now can I say ‘I told you so’?”

Author's Note

I'm a bit of a fan of reading SCP files from time to time; I just channeled a bit of that for this chapter.

Entry 15: A Bad Trip

Twilight can be kinda scary in how… obsessive she can be. Yesterday she tried to get me to open a book without burning it. Today she locked herself in her library looking for some sort of magical solution. Honestly, I don’t think I’d want one if she found it.

Luckily, I think she got a bit derailed when she started looking for ways to understand my problem rather than outright cure it. The way I heard it, she found several-hundred diagnostic and empathic spells that might have worked if I was just a bit more… biological. Then of course, Starlight came in on the study session and made a few suggestions, which resulted in an indescribable mishmash of matrices and incantations that could hardly be contained by a single notepad. The notepad in question, which was bursting with sticky notes and stray bits of paper that looped around onto other pages, was then brought to my room by a giddy alicorn and her hopeful, if wary, Unicorn student.

“So, let’s go over this again; what exactly is this spell supposed to do?” I asked.

Twilight launched into explanation;

“Well, in short, it’s supposed to allow Starlight to maintain a bridge between our minds, allowing us to construct a fictitious realm in which you would be able to show me your innermost frustrations and vices.”

I looked at Starlight, an unamused expression on my face.

“It makes you dream the same dream so Twilight can figure out how your brain works.” Starlight helpfully supplied.

“Ah.” I said. Of course, I didn’t really know what dreams were other than from second-hand accounts, but I got the jist; you experience something without it actually happening, then you wake up.

“Of course, this spell would be extremely… intimate.” Twilight continued. “Sharing your innermost thoughts isn’t something we’d ever want to do without your permission, and it may turn out to be unnecessary, but I think it might be worth a try, if you agree of course.”

I nodded slowly. “And.. what will happen in the dream?”

Twilight hesitated. “There’s no real way to know that. What we do know is that it will be your dream, so you may be able to control aspects of it, or I might just be sent an amalgamation of your subconscious thoughts in metaphor… We won’t know precisely until we try. If we try.”

I looked at Twilight. Clearly she was eager to see if this worked, but she was holding herself back for my sake. Starlight, on the other hand, seemed profoundly uncomfortable.

A spark of an idea lit inside me.

“I might agree to this… under one condition.” I said.

“What condition?” Twilight asked eagerly.

“I want Starlight to try it first.”

Starlight visibly stiffened. Twilight did a moment later.

“Why would you… want that?” Twilight ventured.

“Let’s just say I know from experience my mind isn’t a pleasant place to be.” I said. “Or, at least not since a couple of weeks ago.”

Not since she imprisoned me. I didn’t say. But I thought it, and I think Starlight got the message regardless.

Starlight closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Emerald,” Twilight began. I got the impression that she was going to try and talk me out of it, but Starlight spoke up before she could continue.

“I’ll do it.” she said. The steadiness of her voice didn’t quite hide the fear behind it.

Twilight looked at Starlight. It looked like she was going to object, but then she bit her lip. It didn’t stop the worry in her eyes.

“Are you sure, Starlight?” Twilight asked. “She’s…”

Not going to go easy on you. I finished the statement in my mind. I had no doubt Twilight was thinking something similar.

“I’m sure.” Starlight said. “You maintain the bridge, and I’ll hop in.”

Twilight seemed hesitant, but eventually nodded confirmation. “Alright. Give me the signal once you’re ready to come out.”

Starlight nodded and sat on her haunches in front of my forcefield. She was taking deep breaths. I sat down across from her, trying to keep a wicked smile from crossing my face.

After another deep breath, Starlight opened her eyes and stared into mine. “I’m ready.” she said.

…For anything you’ve got. Her eyes said.

“Me too.” I said.

Are you sure? My eyes said back.

Then Twilight started the spell, and everything went dark.

Burning. Everything was burning.

And I loved it.

I was back in the plane of fire, frolicking through the infinite, three-dimensional expanse without a care in the world. My own pale green glow contrasted against the omnipresent yellows and oranges; fire in a thousand different shapes and colors refracted through the atmosphere, lighting everything in flickering prisms of warm light. My form stretched and shifted as I willed,sometimes extending flippers like a manta ray, sometimes spreading wings like a phoenix, and sometimes just stretching all over the place with no logic at all. As I touched the fire around me it reciprocated, and I could feel everything for miles around me; floating planetoids of ash drifting about, trees and fruit growing from them composed entirely out of fire; Other elementals touched back in greeting as they all played through the skies, everything was so… familiar. This was home.

The one unfamiliar thing here was a small presence that was relatively nearby. A pony-shaped presence that seemed particularly out of place.

Starlight floated through the sea of fire, conspicuously unburned. She seemed to be looking around in confusion.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Welcome home.” I replied. “This is the plane of fire.” I was suddenly nearby, doing something resembling a backstroke in the shape of an otter.

Starlight’s pony form did a doggy-paddle to keep up. “Well, this is about what I expected, I guess. Everything is on fire. That’s about it.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re not doing it right.” I said. “You’re not… connecting.”

“I’m not what?”

“Connecting!” I said. “You’re here to try and understand me, right? Well you can’t do that as a boring pony! You need… spark. Uh… how do I describe… oh wait, this is my dream, isn’t it? I can just…”

I thought at her, and she blinked, new information coming in. Slowly her physical form dissolved, leaving behind a pony-shaped blob of pink fire.

“Whoa…” she said. “I’m a…”

“...An elemental.” I finished for her. “And with it you get to connect and communicate with all of the other elementals on this plane. Come on, let’s go have some fun!” I turned into something resembling a sea-snake and rocketed my way into the expanse.

Starlight chased after me, but she couldn’t keep up. Her pony form wasn’t ideal for swimming through the incandescent void.

“No, no, no.” I said as I returned, swimming like a fish. “You’re thinking far too rigidly. Loosen up! Let yourself become who you need to be; who you want to be!”

Starlight gave me a confused look, but soon afterward that look morphed, literally, into that of a paper airplane. She actually made decent time in that shape.

“That’s more like it!” I said. “Now, see if you can keep up!” I rocketed away once more, but this time when I looked back, she was gaining. Her form had stretched into a single, piercing point that cut through the incandescent sea like hot butter.

If I had a face then, I might have giggled. Instead, though, I began cutting through the air with a point of my own, shooting under and between arches and loops formed from jettisoned solar matter from no direction in particular. I’d occasionally take a flatter form, like a hawk spreading it’s wings, to take the tight corners. Occasionally I’d even refract myself through solar crystals that were floating in the wind, sending myself in six different directions simultaneously and then reforming on the other end. All the time we were conversing and sharing our fun with all of the elementals around us, and they were sharing their impossible feats with us as well.

No, it… doesn’t exactly make sense when I say it now. The sensations I had in the plane of fire are very difficult to describe in your language, at least what I know of it. The good news is that Starlight and I had no need for language just then; she was practically experiencing it first-hand. I guided her through everything I knew of my home, and soon enough we’d traveled to hers.

Between our two worlds is a wide gulf; many miles across. Most ponies wouldn’t dream of being able to cross it, but us fire elementals don’t like the word impossible. We just gain speed and launch ourselves across; it normally takes a few days to get to the other side, but I cheated and shortened the journey for lack of time.

Starlight and I impacted the ground, green and pink comets out of a clear blue sky. When the dust cleared, we were tiny creatures, no bigger than torches, in a place surrounded by trees that might have been a part of the Everfree forest.

Starlight’s pink flame took the form of a pony again and looked around.

“I can’t… I can't feel you anymore.” Starlight said.

“No. We’re no longer connected. Maybe we should fix that.”

“How?” Starlight asked.

“How do you think?” I asked. I twisted myself around a nearby tree, growing as I did so. Soon it was part of me; I could feel everything it said, crackling and dissolving into pure light and heat. Starlight soon joined me from another tree, and before we knew it we were racing to see who could envelop more of the forest faster.

Not that it was truly a race. In the end our goals were the same; to build, consume, and connect everything. We needed to share this joy with everyone; the trees, the grass, the pinecones…

And it was at that moment that I decided it was the opportune moment to strike.

In an instant, Starlight’s essence was bottled up and pinned to the ground, only it wasn’t the ground, it was a bookshelf in Twilight’s library, and she was being held by a telekinetic field. She panicked, parts of her wriggling free of this thing’s influence, but soon getting stuffed back into her. A giant metal claw snapped into place around her, pinning all four of her hooves in shackles.

“Now you know what you took from me.” I said, my green eyes staring at her from the shadows. She struggled slightly before I slammed her back into the wall with a sheet of metal; one that began to twist and wrap around her like snakes, preventing her from moving an inch; it was exactly what I had felt when she had imprisoned me.

“Stop… I … I understand!” she said.

“You understand NOTHING!” I shouted, my form becoming larger, growing teeth. My voice was becoming compounded upon itself, like I was speaking many times at once. “I have given you the tiniest taste of the freedom I had enjoyed before you chained me down! Now you can experience it being ripped away again and again and again until you finally understand what you have done!”

Another Starlight approached from the darkness; this one was a memory, still emblazoned into my mind from two weeks ago; This memory of Starlight lit her horn, and Starlight’s mind, still pinned on the wall, cried in agony. It was my agony. Starlight was once again wrapped in copper bands and then slammed to the ground, but then I started the whole thing over again.

I was so… mad. I look back and find that I had no intention of stopping until Starlight’s mind had broken; at least then she would have experienced a fraction of my real pain; not just what I had been able to give her, but the loss of identity and sheer upside-downness of being ripped from your home and chained in a body designed by another. I poured it all into her, over and over and over, until eventually she managed to light her horn.

According to Twilight, we had both been comatose for a few minutes when Starlight’s horn lit up on her unconscious body. I saw it in the dream realm, too, but before I could react she struck back.

Except, she didn’t strike back to defend herself. Instead she attacked very much like I had, with ideas and memories.

I saw a friend, my best friend, taken away from me to go to magic school. I saw myself grow in hate for the mark that had shown up on his flank, and all marks like it. I grew to hate my own mark, as much as I needed it. I felt the need for vengeance as my utopia was pulled out from under me by Twilight Sparkle. I felt the relief of giving up that same vengeance, and the joy I had received for offering the same relief to others. Trixie, Discord, Chrysalis… that last one hadn’t ended well, but it had felt good to make the offer, all the same.

Then I saw myself, my elemental self, flying around Twilight’s library, setting fire to everything I could touch. I felt Starlight’s panic at her mistake, and her rush to fix it; I felt the spell being cast to imprison my elemental self into my prison, even as a part of me yelled at myself to stop. I saw my elemental self drop to the floor, limbs leaden and unable to move, and was surprised through the next few moments to feel… regret. Not my regret, Starlights. She watched as I struggled to stand, to take my first steps as a phoenix with clipped wings. Wings I- she- had clipped. My heart longed to reach out and tell the clipped phoenix that everything was okay; that I’d fix everything as soon as I figured out how; and then both I and Starlight realized that there was no how. Starlight’s mistake was permanent, and there was nothing either of us could do about it.

In an instant, we both woke, reeling from each other's pain. I think I forgot which one I was for a second there as I oriented myself within my cell. I was taking deep, heaving breaths to feed a fire in my chest that was significantly colder than it had been before. Had I been using my own heat to punish her within the dream?

Starlight, who was prone on the other side of the forcefield, was hugging herself and shivering. It took me a few moments to register that it was because she had gotten so used to being literally made of fire that her own body felt cold, now. Twilight had rushed to her side, but she was unresponsive at the moment.

I was on the ground as well; we were mirrors of each other across the forcefield. I nursed a pain that went deeper than my body; I can only assume she was doing the same.

“Emerald, what happened?” Twilight asked.

I didn’t answer.

“Emerald!” Twilight shouted.

“W-we… shared. And fought.” I said, still trembling. I looked at her face and saw my own for a moment. I closed my eyes. Napalm tears streamed down my face.

“I’m sorry.” I said under my breath, and in the moment I wasn’t sure if I was talking to her or myself.

Author's Note

This chapter was... hard to write. I'm still not sure I got it right, but if you're exhausted by the time you reach the end, either something went really well or really wrong.

Entry 17: Flying Like a Kite

Starlight came to my room early this morning.

“Hey.” she said. “I thought that… maybe we could try something today. See if you like it.”

I tensed a bit. “Uh… It’s not more mind magic, is it? ‘Cuz if it is…”

“No! No. Heavens no.” Starlight said. “We’ve both had enough of that for a long while. This is… just a hobby of mine.”

I tried to look through what was left of Starlight's memories inside me to see what she was talking about, but they’d been fading quickly ever since the incident. All I could get were vague blurs now.

“I guess… yeah. Sure. What are…” I trailed off once I saw Starlight dispel the forcefield holding me in.

“I’ve… just set up some things in a room down the hall.” Starlight said, seemingly sensing my surprise.

“Uh- right. Lemme just…” I quickly donned the oven mitts Pinkie had given me and collected ten pieces of parchment from around my room, depositing them in a neat pile in the corner. Wouldn’t want to accidentally trample them when I came back, after all. When I looked back at Starlight, she was staring at me thoughtfully.

“Um… am I gonna need these?” I asked, holding up an oven mitt. This seemed to snap Starlight out of whatever deep thoughts she’d been formulating.

“Uh- Probably.” she said. So I kept the mitts on as I followed her a few doors down.

The room we entered was a bit larger and rounder than mine is; at the far end I was surprised to see an opening into clear air; a balcony stretched out into the sun where I could see a few pegasi flying by. Between us and the balcony stood a small, square table that held a pair of curious objects. Some flicker of Starlight’s memory gave them a name;

“Kites?” I asked.

“Yeah. I was just thinking about how… in the, ah, dream, thing, we were flying around at some pretty good speeds at one point, and you showed me how to take the tight turns by flattening out; this is basically the same thing, except we’re using light materials to make something that catches the air enough to keep it afloat in equestria’s gravity.”

I took a look at the two constructions on the table; One was made from wood and sky-blue cloth. it unfolded into a hollow rectangular shape. The other was smaller, and made from stiff wire and tin foil. It was flat, and looked more like a diamond.
“I tried to make you something you could carry around without burning it.” Starlight said. “Couldn’t quite figure out a non-flammable replacement for the string, though, so you’ll have to be careful.”

I grabbed the shiny kite with mitted hooves and inspected it closer. This thing could fly?

“I, uh… was a bit rushed to get it done.” Starlight said. “I would’ve made it bigger, but-”

“It’s perfect.” I said, smiling. Then I looked to the balcony beyond and wondered.

Starlight followed my eyes and caught my attention with her own smile. “Here, let’s go try ‘em out!” She led the way onto the balcony, and I was surprised to see that no forcefield delayed her; I walked out and I was truly just exposed to the open air. I suppose if I felt like it I could have just jumped over the railing and made a break for it, but… well that didn’t work so well last time, and I was feeling less confined in this place by the second.

Starlight started babbling the instant I came out.

“So the according to the weather schedule today, there should be a stiff breeze passing over Ponyville all day today, since we’re expecting a shipment of rain clouds from Cloudsdale…”

I stiffened at the mention of rain.

“Emerald? Oh… sorry. don’t worry. No showers scheduled until tomorrow. Late tomorrow. We’ll be fine out here for a long time.”

I nodded in confirmation, then stretched my neck and legs to get the sudden tension out. Okay, I’ll just deal with that when we come to it. For now, kites.

Starlight handed me the spool for my own kite; I grasped it firmly between my hooves and started letting out the line.

“Oh, don’t let out too much line just yet.” Starlight said. “You’ve got to keep it stable all the way up. Here, I’ll start you off with magic…”

Starlight’s horn glowed, and so did my kite. Starlight lifted it up a few meters above our heads, until the line was fairly taut, then let go. For a second I panicked and thought that the thing would just drop to the ground, but then the wind took over and yanked at the string in my hooves. I momentarily lurched forward as I struggled to control the thing, but soon enough it was stabilized.

I was flying a kite.

I couldn’t help it; a grin spread across my face as I pulled on the string and it pulled back. I experimented a bit with different motions, figuring out what made it dive and what made it stall; what sort of sweeping motions I could make by pulling it from one side to the other.

A few seconds later Starlight was able to get her own boxy kite into the sky, and we were flying side-by-side.

In some ways, it was just like the time we’d spent frolicking in the plane of fire, or rather, my mind. Y’know, before I got all… revenge-y, and stuff. When it was just the two of us, enjoying… life. Being here. Being able to enjoy simple things like flying.

in some ways, however, this was… different. We weren’t really going anywhere, we were just… sitting. Sometimes Starlight gave me a tip or two about how I could keep the line stable, or show me how to do a neat trick, but most of the time we didn’t really speak. It was quiet. I never really knew that I could enjoy quiet before. Or maybe that’s just because her memories have been camping out in my brain.

Anyway, things got exciting again when Starlight started talking about building kites. She liked talking about all the engineering behind it, and all the different models of kites you could make, but I was more interested in just seeing how awesome I could make mine look. I was thinking flames; not real ones, of course, the kite would never last long if it was on fire, but if I could get my hooves on some materials, maybe some orange paint, and some scissors, I could make something that would look pretty nice. Maybe a phoenix. Seems… appropriate.

I think that, all in all, It was a good day.

Oh, and Spike, tell Starlight I forgot to thank her for letting me keep the kite with me in my room. I’ll treasure it for as long as I can make it last.

Author's Note

It's good to write a chapter without any major emotional damage being involved. that is all.

Entry 18: The Marshmallow Monster Rises

Starlight had lied somewhat regarding the rain. She said it’d be starting late today, but apparently the schedule had been moved up a little; it started at noon.

I was a little unnerved by the pitter-patter of raindrops like acid on the roof, trying to eat their way inside. I’d already survived this once, so I wasn’t cowering on the floor anymore, but I was pacing my room in an effort not to think about it when Twilight came in.

I briefly nodded to acknowledge her presence, but didn’t stop pacing.

One two three four, one two three four, turn, one two three four, one two three four, turn…

“Are you all right, Emerald?” Twilight asked.

“Yep.” I said tersely. I might’ve said more, but I was concentrating on not concentrating on the chill outside, and the wind knocking on my window like a mischievous fey who only needed an invitation to come in and wreak havoc. I was above this. It was just water from the sky.

Nothing but water, for miles in all directions…

I noticed myself shivering, and tried to direct that energy into some more furious pacing, instead. My hooves started clanking loudly as I made my way across the floor.

After a few moments, I heard the shimmer of Twilight taking down my forcefield.

I looked to see what was going on. Even as I did, I felt my anxiety building, telling me to keep moving until I was safe.

“Come on.” Twilight said, leading the way into the hall. I followed, head low from equal parts fear and shame. Eventually we came to a tall, round room that I got the vague impression was in the dead-center of the castle. There was an odd chandelier above our heads that looked like the root system of a large tree, dangling with an assortment of colorful crystals. Underneath it was a round table surrounded with six chairs- scratch that, seven. one was too small to see from the other side.

“Will you be alright if I leave you here for a few minutes?” Twilight asked.

I slipped in-between a couple of the chairs to get a better look at the center of the room. I looked over the table’s smooth surface, then up at the gems shimmering like stars. Above them was the wooden chandelier and the roof; it was so far away I could barely hear the patter of rain.

I nodded quietly, so Twilight left. After a few moments I found myself climbing up onto the table and curling up into a little ball. I wasn’t shivering, though. I was tired, and something about the table below and the gems and roots above made me feel safe.

Afew minutes later, Twilight came back with Pinkie, Starlight, and Fluttershy. Each of them was also carrying saddlebags full of… stuff.

“What’s all this about?” I asked.

“We are having a sleepover.” Twilight declared, “And you shall be the guest of honor.”

“What’s a-” I began before Pinkie’s face suddenly showed up next to mine.

“It’s like a party, but with blankets.” Pinkie whispered conspiratorially before sliding back out of my personal bubble. Soon afterward she ripped off her saddlebags and pulled out a package of squishy, white cylinders.

“I brought S’MORES!” she shouted to any and all ponies in the room.

“Brought some stuffed animals, um, if that’s okay.” Fluttershy said.

“And I brought some materials we can use to start some work on your own kite!” Starlight said with a grin.

I looked, stunned, from one pony to the other. I wasn’t sure what s’mores were, and I was pretty sure what would happen to the stuffed animals the instant they made contact with any part of me, but they were all so… helpful.

“You girls don’t have to… I mean, I don’t really need-”

“We know.” Twilight said. “But we want to. You’re a friend, and this is what friends do. And, if you don’t want to do any one thing, or if you just want us to be here to support you and nothing else, that’s fine, too. We just want you to know we’re here if you need us.”

I bit back any further replies, and smiled cautiously. Well, if she put it like that, how could I refuse?

The night began with Pinkie breaking out her portable gas stove, but apparently it hadn’t seen use in a while and threatened to blow up a couple of times. After a few minutes of Pinkie finagling with the thing, I finally came up with the obvious solution of using myself instead. Pinkie loved that idea, but Twilight needed some convincing.

“What’s so wrong with that?” I asked her.

“I dunno… it just feels like we’re making you work at your own slumber party.” She replied.

“Are you kidding me? This is going to be the most fun I’ve had in weeks!”

Before long, I had four mares huddled off to one side, each holding a marshmallow on a stick over my flowy, flickering mane. Once I figured they had gotten comfortable, I stealthily put a hoof to my nose to plug it, closed my mouth, and blew. With nowhere else to go, the air pressure emerged through my mane, turning it into a geyser of flame for a few seconds. Pinkie and Fluttershy were lucky enough to be on the fringes of the blast, so their marshmallows were only lightly toasted, but Twilight’s marshmallow got the brunt of the blast, turning black and crispy in an instant.

“Ah! Emerald!” Twilight shouted disapprovingly. I think I heard a smile in there, though.

“Now that one is just how I like it.” I said. I reached up my neck and snapped the blackened orb right off the stick with my teeth. I heard a few giggles as I chewed.

“Heeey… wait a minute.” Pinkie said. “What happened to yours, Starlight?” she said as she pointed an accusing hoof at the pink unicorn’s stick. The Marshmallow in question was still extremely white, despite being well within my mane’s blast radius.

Starlight gave a sheepish grin. “Eh-heh, heat-shielding spell. Makes it come out perfectly golden and toasty every time.”

“That is cheating!” I said as I pointed my own accusing hoof, frowning mockingly. Starlight folded her hooves.

“You’re just saying that because you get all the hopelessly burned ones by default,” Starlight countered.

“This is true. I confess.” I said back, no regret in my voice whatsoever. “Approach me if you dare, marshmallows! For ye shall either come back lightly toasted or not at all!”

This earned me some giggles from most of them, and floor-rolling laughter from Pinkie.

After that, I was the monster that was out to get their marshmallows. I’d lie in wait, let them get a few barely-toasted and brown marshmallows past me, and then I’d strike again, reaping the charcoal rewards of another blast from my mane.

Afterwards, Pinkie got me to try a whole s’more, not just the burnt marshmallow part. The consistency wasn’t bad, but have you ever smelled burnt chocolate? I was stinking up the whole place until Fluttershy was able to kick up a stiff breeze and shoo the smog into another room. Thank goodness for pegasi!

I politely declined Fluttershy’s offer of stuffed animals. It was thoughtful of her, but short of waiting for Twilight and Starlight to weave a compex fire-retardant enchantment I didn’t think I’d get any meaningful use out of them before… well… woosh! Ashes. Not to mention if that had happened I might have broken Fluttershy’s heart. Maybe next time, Flutters.

When Starlight brought out the craft supplies, I immediately rummaged through them to find all the biggest pieces and slapped them together. well, the biggest pieces that weren’t particularly flammable, that is. What I built was like the original diamond-shaped kite that Starlight made for me, except a bit bigger, and I attached a couple more sails onto the side to look like wings. Starlight, of course, made sure the thing I was making could actually fly by adding supports into the wings and running a few additional lines onto the structure to keep it stable.

We were just getting into the middle of painting the thing when the yawning started. First it was Fluttershy, then soon afterward Starlight, then Twilight and Pinkie Pie.

“Oh, goodness. Must be getting late.” Twilight said. “I’m never this tired.”

“Oh, come on! It’s barely…” -Pinkie had to stop mid-sentence to yawn. She pulled a cuckoo clock out of her mane to check the time. “...twelve cuckoos!”

At that very moment, Pinkie’s clock let out twelve cuckoos to let us all know it was midnight.

“Well, I don’t know about you girls, but that’s past my bedtime.” Fluttershy said.

“But- we’ve been having so much fun!” I said.

“Well, I’m not sure what elementals do at night, but we ponies need our sleep.” Twilight said, unrolling a few sleeping bags for her and Fluttershy.

Starlight grabbed my attention with another yawn.

“Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I can stay awake much longer.” Starlight said. “Although I once see a spell in Twilight's library that might-”

“Magic can’t solve everything, Starlight!” Twilight interrupted from her new position lying down on the floor. “No spellcasting while drowsy!”

Starlight just gave me a shrug and went off to join the others in sleep-land.

“Don’t worry! I’ll stay up with you!” Pinkie said excitedly. “I can stay up AAaaaaall…” -and then she cut herself off with a deep snore, her body limply hanging over one of the chairs surrounding the table.

Eh, flesh-things. They’ve got no resilience.

I dragged my kite over to the other side of the room so I wouldn’t disturb them and finished painting it orange. I still want to put some yellow bits, but I didn’t really trust myself with the finer, artsy details.

It was then that I realized that, not only had the rain stopped, but I had forgotten all about it.

Author's Note

Midnight is probably a pretty tame bedtime compared to some of you, but I thought it might be a good time for these girls to get to sleep.

Was it a mistake to make Emerald immune to sleepiness? Maybe I could get more dream sequences or dramatic blackouts in if I forgot about it later...

Also, apologies if you were dissapointed because you thought I was talking about Rarity in the title.

Entry 19: Hope for What?

If I become friends with these ponies, what happens when I get back?

If I get back. Starlight has made it clear that my chances of going back to the plane of fire are slim to none, but if Starlight goes to Canterlot and finds a way somehow, and against all odds everything goes back to how it was before I was summoned… What then?

She is going, by the way. Her train is scheduled to leave today.

Everything will be as it ever was, I suppose. I’ll be there. They’ll be here. A nigh-impassable gulf between the two.

I’d visit, maybe, but then again Celestia might be forced to swat me from the sky to keep the peace.

And… maybe it’s better that I don’t come back anyway. I’m not particularly useful to anypony, not like this, and not in my original form. Burning hooves don’t look good on a job application.

Maybe I should just give away my memories to the other elementals instead, let them sort it out. Then maybe I could fly again without knowing it’s better with a friend.

Then again, in all likelihood I’ll be stuck in this sparking body for the rest of eternity; Or until it breaks down. I’m not sure which would be worse.

I’m not sure what to hope for when Starlight returns.

Spike, maybe take a note;

Dear Princess Celestia;

When you came over and asked me to make some friends, what in the world were you thinking?

Sincerely, your annoyed Fire Elemental, Emerald Flare.

What? That’s not rude at all!

Author's Note

I might be running out of good ideas for chapters. This sorta came out at the last minute to fill in for today's update.

Entry 20: Trust

Twilight didn’t bother reinstating my forcefield today. She said I’ll be fine as long as I always have an escort outside the castle. I agreed. I’m still staying far away from the library, though. Waay too much temptation there. I should probably advise Twilight to have a forcefield set up there, at least.

The irony is, After a quick run to stretch my legs, I spent most of the first half of the day in my room anyway, looking out through my newly-openable window.

First, I looked at the houses. Their thatch roofs looked just right for kindling. Seriously, if you ponies don’t want your houses to burn down, why do you build them out of straw and wood? It’s practically an open invitation for someone to destroy it. Or eat it, in an elemental’s case. I kept looking out of the window for a while. I waved at a few ponies as they passed by. A few of them waved back, but some of them just stared. I guess the latter is to be expected when we’re from two entirely different planes, but so you know, you all look funny to me, too.

After a while of sitting and watching, I felt a bit of a chill, so I resolved to go look for something to eat and heat myself back up. Just as I turned away, I could have sworn I heard… something.

I’m not exactly sure what it was, but at the time it almost felt like somepony far away calling my name… I looked back out of the window, of course, but nopony was there; or at least, nopony who was paying any special attention to my window. Eh, maybe I was just feeling a little stir-crazy or something.

I found that Twilight hadn’t dropped anything off for me to eat yet, so I wandered the halls a bit. I found some stairs going down and half expected them to be blocked, but no forcefield stopped me. I kept going. I looked into a few rooms, but they were mostly barren. One door I recognized as the door to the library, so I extremely consciously kept it closed and moved on.

I called out Twilight’s name every so often, but I got no answer.

Eventually I found the Kitchen; I hesitated when I saw inside.

The table in the center was made from wood. The cupboards around the edges of the room were made of wood. The racks in the ceiling from which pots, pans, and utensils hung were made of wood. There was a wooden barrel stowed in the corner, and to top it off, it was resting on a bed of straw.

I froze. I thought while I was frozen.

That might be where Twilight keeps the firewood, a part of me said, You should go in and check.

That wood looks… vulnerable, another part of me said. Maybe I shouldn’t get near it.

Just go in, look around for some wood Twilight won’t miss, and get out. The first part said again.

I entered the room slowly. I walked the circumference of it, carefully trying to keep my sides from touching either the table or the cupboards. I looked into a large stone oven on the other side of the room, but there was nothing in there but ashes.

As I turned to go back out, I spotted a puff of smoke rising from my hoof. I recoiled backward to see that I’d stepped on a stray bit of straw on the floor, and watched, mesmerized, as it flickered and withered into ash. Soon afterward my gaze was drawn to the nearby pile on the floor that supported the barrel.

That was close… a part of me said.

You could get closer… another part of me said back.

Hesitantly, I found another isolated piece of straw on the floor and poked at it; nothing. I pressed more firmly the second time, and it went up in a tiny orange blaze. The light glowed back into my eyes and made me feel… giddy.

Okay, that’s enough. I need to get out.

Or…

My spark pounded in my chest. It demanded more. Just a little bit more. I used my hooves to gather a few pieces of straw together as they burned, uniting them together into a blaze that seemed bigger than the sum of it’s parts. I laid down on the floor next to it, quickly inhaling the smoke and heat.

That’s enough. A part of me tried to say again.

I didn’t listen, though. I began pawing at the pile of straw beneath the barrel, taking out larger and larger chunks and watching them burn. I became giddier and giddier, and the more giddy I became the more fire it took to make me that giddy again, so I kept going.

I don’t remember precisely when or how the barrel started burning; I probably didn’t care at the time; I was too busy taking in all of the glorious luminescence around me. Smoke started piling up in the ceiling, but I didn’t care about that, either. Embers started flying, the table caught, then the cupboards, then the rack above.

It was about another thirty seconds before I realized what I was doing. The joy drained from my spark. I stopped dancing around and just stared.

I probably could have saved the kitchen if I had run off to find someone right then. Twilight probably knew a spell that could take care of it, or at the very least Spike could start throwing buckets of water. I didn’t move, though. I sat on my haunches and stared at the wonder and horror, the beauty and ugliness of what I’d done.

My back was to the door when I heard Twilight coughing behind me.

“Emerald… what” -another cough- “what’s going on?”

I didn’t want to turn around to look at her, but I had to. The turn ended up becoming a slow one, but I eventually found her. She was wearing her saddlebags, and they were overflowing with firewood. For me, presumably. I think I saw several different types of wood there, too; she was probably planning on having me try a few different kinds to see what I liked best.

Twilight was still coughing occasionally, but in-between she was looking at me with an expression of… horror. Her eyes were tearing up from the smoke… or was that disappointment?

I can only imagine what she felt she was seeing; the silhouette of my armor against the roaring orange backdrop that had once been her kitchen, my expression flickering erratically from euphoria to pain to embarrassment.

“E-emerald…” was all she could get out before I ran past her; I think she flinched for a second, but I didn’t touch her. Napalm tears were streaming from my face as I ran back up the stairs, through the halls, and into my room. I slammed the door shut behind myself and quivered, kneeling, behind it. I camped my jaw in anger at myself, at ponies in general, at Twilight for letting me go so free so early. For the first time in a long while I hated Starlight for bringing me here. Eventually all of that hate boiled up inside me and I let out a raw, primal scream. When I did, flames exploded out from me in every direction, the shockwave flinging the door to my room off its hinges and into the hall, where it smoldered and caught fire. I didn’t bother trying to move it; I was suddenly very cold and tired.

When Twilight finally found time to come up and see me, I was sitting on the floor, hooves folded, my back to the window. My expression must have been dark, because Twilight flinched on seeing it.

“Put the forcefield back.” I said.

Twilight took a deep breath. “Emerald, I don’t-”

“PUT IT BACK!” I screamed. I snapped forward as I said it, like a crocodile snapping prey from beside a river. She recoiled from me; it hurt me to see that, but I kept my expression hard until her horn glowed and the telltale flicker of her forcefield told me we were both safe from me.

“Good. Now get out.” I said, drooping.

Twilight hesitated.

“GET OUT!” I screamed again, this time napalm tears were streaming from my eyes. A few flew as I turned on her and hit the forcefield with a small sizzle. Twilight may have forgotten that the forcefield was between us, because she ran like I was going to attack her.

Maybe I would have. If my giddy state had lasted just a bit longer, until Twilight had come to check on me, would I have cared if she had tried to stop me? Would I have kept burning everything until one of us had to be snuffed out? I really don’t know, and that frightens me more than this cell ever could.

One thing is for sure; Twilight will never trust me again. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Entry 21: Wherein somepony tells me I look nice.

Twilight came back to check on me the next morning. I was still sitting in the corner. I didn’t look at her when she came in.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I lied.

“Do you want to come out now?” she asked.

“No.” I said.

“Can I come in?” Twilight asked again.

I took a deep breath and let it out again. I didn’t answer. Instead, I said something that might change her mind.

“I really enjoyed destroying your kitchen, Twilight.”

Twilight looked down and pawed at the floor with a hoof. I took that as a signal to continue.

“Yesterday I felt happy. I was happy that I was destroying your house, Twilight. Maybe if you’d come back earlier, I’d have been happy to burn you, too.”

“I don’t believe that.” Twilight said. “You’re better than that.”

“Better from whose point of view?” I said. “I doubt there’s an elemental back home who would like that I stopped. Maybe I should be a true elemental, or none at all. None of this… lukewarm business.”

“It’s not black and white…” Twilight began to say.

“It is, actually.” I said, raising my voice a bit as I looked to her. “Either I’m who you want me to be, or who I was born to be. There can be no middle ground; any way you slice it, someone is angry.”

A long pause followed.

“Then… who do you want to be?” Twilight asked.

I didn’t have an answer to that.

After a few minutes of silence, I heard Twilight take down the forcefield. I gave her a hard look.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m letting you out.” Twilight said matter-of-factly.

“We both know that’s not a good idea.” I said.

“I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that front.” Twilight responded.

“I could burn your library next.” I said.

“Well if you’re so concerned about it, maybe you should imprison yourself.” Twilight said. “I can’t say what your fellow elementals would think, and I can’t say whether you should abandon their values or keep them close. What I know is that you’re a better pony than you’re willing to give yourself credit for, and no single mistake can change that.”

I shut my eyes tight, but a single flaming tear escaped anyway. More silence for a few moments, and then…

“Well, Emerald, you can stay here if you want, but I think I have a way to prove to both of us that you have what it takes to be a good friend.”

I looked at Twilight, trying to convey my utter disbelief with my expression. Her own expression remained mostly impassive, so I said;

“What?”

“Emerald, I want you to come outside with me to meet another one of my good friends.”

My jaw opened wide.

“Are you insane?” I asked. When there was no response I continued; “I just burned down your kitchen!”

“The furniture is replaceable, Emerald. Friendships aren’t.” Twilight replied. “If this will help you to finally trust yourself I’d say any risk involved is worth it.”

“But-” I began to protest, but Twilight interrupted.

“Hey!” she said, then she looked deep into my eyes, as if searching out my spark somewhere in there and grabbing it with her gaze. It was eerily similar to what I’d experienced with Fluttershy, just with less fear and more… solidness. Twilight’s gaze seemed as immovable as a mountain in that instant.

“Do you want to try and be a better friend?” Twilight asked. I opened my mouth to say it didn’t matter; that this is who I am and nopony could change it, least of all me, but all those arguments died in my throat.

“...Yes.” I eventually said.

“Then come on.” Twilight said, and the immovable mountain that was her gaze shifted as she turned to walk out, disorienting me for a moment. When I regained my grasp on reality, Twilight was standing just outside the door, looking back at me.

“Are you coming?” She asked.

“Uh- yeah.” I replied hastily. And so I did. Twilight led me down to the ground floor of her castle and out the front door. I hesitated a bit at the threshold, but eventually I stepped out and felt the crunch of road gravel under my hooves for the first time since I’d been staring Fluttershy in the face in the middle of the street. I stood there for a moment, feeling the gentle breeze ruffle my flaming mane and tail. I half expected somepony to shout, or try to grab me, or shoot spells or something, but none of that happened at all.

“Uh- where did you say we’d be meeting this friend of yours, Twilight?” I asked.

“She lives pretty much on the other side of Ponyville.” Twilight said. I recoiled.

“Twilight, Are you crazy? I’m meeting them in their house? On the other side of ponyville?”

“Yes.” Twilight said.

“Yes you’re crazy, or…”

“We are meeting my good friend in her house on the other side of ponyville.” Twilight said, seemingly undeterred.

I looked up warily at the tinderboxes that passed for housing around here, stooping my neck in fear.

“How do you know I won’t… y’know… burn everything to the ground?” I said.

“Well, I suppose I’ll have to trust you,” Twilight said. “Like friends do.”

“Twilight, not even I trust me.” I said.

“Well, do you trust me?” Twilight asked.

“...Yeeeeeess…” I said hesitantly.

“And I trust you.” Twilight said. “So, according to the transitive property of trust, You do trust you.”

“I… Don’t even know what those words mean.” I said.

“Just walk with me; take it a single step at a time. You’ll be fine.”

Twilight trotted back beside me as she said it, extending a wing over me like she had on my second night here, protecting me from the rain.

I stood there frozen for a moment.

After a few seconds of indecision, Twilight brought a hoof to her chest, simultaneously inhaling. Then as she exhaled she pushed her hoof outward. Then she said;

“Try it. It’ll help you feel better.”

I closed my eyes, then repeated the exercise.

Breathe in, breathe out.

It occurred to me that I may have been forgetting to breathe for a while, because the air that rushed in and out was a huge relief. How did Twilight know that, I wonder?

With a small amount of newfound strength, I took a few steps forward. Twilight walked with me all the way, her wing putting a breeze to my back that quietly urged me forward. Nothing was burning yet, so I started moving a bit faster, going from stilted half-movement to a steady trot. My head slowly began to come back upward, but I was still looking warily at the nearby houses.

“Keep your eyes forward, Emerald. Concentrate on where you want to go.” Twilight’s voice came to me just as I was beginning to clench my jaw. I nodded warily and locked my gaze forward. Soon afterward I was mildly surprised to see several ponies out in the streets, going about their day. I had half-expected Twilight to have evacuated the populace from the major streets to keep anypony from bumping into me accidentally. As it was, However, some ponies were just beginning to notice their princess walking protectively with a strange, fiery creature down the middle of the street.

At first I thought that there might me some objections from concerned citizens about a walking bonfire coming through their town, or some parent who would shoo their children back inside as we passed, but nopony shouted, or said much at all, really. I did receive a few smiles and waves from random ponies; I even found the strength to timidly wave back to a few of them. For the first time, it occurred to me just how much Twilight’s word must have counted for in this community; Here I was, flames pouring out of my mane and tail, and nopony was batting an eye because I was with her.

We walked for what seemed like ages. Occasionally Twilight would stop to talk to somepony she knew, but we never left each other's sides. I also had to occasionally remind myself to breathe, but we made steady, if slow, progress until Twilight announced that her friend’s house was in sight.

I got a little nervous as we got closer; the house wasn’t like any of the others in ponyville; this one had a round base and delicate columns holding up a cone-like structure. It was painted in whites and purples, but I had no doubt the material underneath would burn as well as any other wood. At least the roof wasn’t thatched.

It was only when Twilight opened the front door that I realized the full extent of her madness. The interior of the building was carpeted. Twilight had thought it was a good idea to invite a fire elemental into a carpeted building. Granted, she had thought to lay down some metallic plates in a path through the room, but all it took was a single step, and the whole thing was going up in a puff of smoke.

As I hesitated, Twilight trotted on in to greet her friend; a white-coated unicorn with an indigo mane in what I can only assume was an expertly styled curl. They gave each other a short embrace before turning back in my direction. The white unicorn spoke first.

“Is that the magnificent Emerald I’ve heard so much about?” She asked. I almost laughed at her use of the word ‘magnificent’, but I was a bit preoccupied with poking the metal plate in the doorway just to be sure it was safe.

“Uh- yeah.” I said stupidly.

“Well come on in! Don’t be shy!” The white unicorn said. “It’s all perfectly safe, don’t you worry about a thing.”

I tentatively trusted my weight, and more importantly, my heat, to the first few plates before finally relaxing enough to take a look at my new host.

“Emerald, this is my good friend Rarity.” Twilight said.

“H-hello.” I said as I forced a small smile.

“Absolute pleasure, darling.” Rarity responded. The smile she returned was surprisingly genuine. “I’m very much looking forward to working with you.”

I blinked.

“Working with- what are you talking about?” I asked. I looked to Twilight for an explanation.

“Well, While I was talking with Rarity about you, she suggested that you might like her to make you a dress.” Twilight said with a smile.

I wasn’t quite sure what a dress even was at the time, but a quick look around Rarity’s shop revealed a collection of pony-shaped forms wearing what seemed like intricate works of art studded with diamonds, rubies, and emeralds and held together with cloth and lace.

“Sparks, you’re both crazy.” I murmured. Rarity frowned a bit before speaking.

“I mean it’s alright if you don’t want a dress; our friend Rainbow Dash was quite against the idea at first…”

“Oh, no! No no no! I think all of these look great, it’s just…” -I sat down on the metal plate, downcast- “I’ll probably just destroy whatever you put on me.”

“Oh! Well if that’s your only issue, don’t worry about a thing. Twilight’s already figured it all out! She’s prepared some special materials we can use as a base, and I can just build around it.”

I shot Twilight a look somewhere between amazement and confusion.

“How long have you been working on this?” I asked her.

“Yesterday morning,” Twilight said sheepishly. “Today’s when I finally got the formula right.”

“Wha- you did research and experiments for two days just so I could wear a dress?”

Rather than Twilight, it was Rarity who answered.

“Friends are allowed to do crazy things for friends, dear.” she said with a smile. “So… what do you say?”

I looked, dumbfounded, between the two of them before speaking.

“Uh- yes! Yeah!” I said eagerly. Rarity quickly led me down a path of metal and glass plates that led up to a small pedestal surrounded by mirrors on three sides. As Rarity got me up onto the pedestal and started taking measurements, she started making small-talk.

“I must say I might be a little bit jealous of your mane; I’ve never been able to pull green off, myself, but I think it looks simply divine on you.”

I gave a sheepish smile of my own as I crossed one of my hooves over the other.

“Uh- thank you. I… I’ve never really liked it.”

Rarity looked me in the eyes, aghast. “What? What’s not to love about that?”

“Green isn’t really a proper color for a fire elemental. At least, that’s what I’ve always felt about it. Green is more of a color for… growing things, y’know?”

Rarity seemed to give that some thought as she used her magic to take more measurements around my middle. It was a good thing she was quick; I think her tape measure was smoking by the time she got it off.

“Well, nevertheless, I think it looks beautiful, and I won’t rest until I can get you to see it, too.” Rarity said. She took a long look at my mane for a few seconds. “It’s just a shame I haven’t figured out a way to style it…”

While Twilight seemed to get distracted by all the potential scientific solutions, I took a look at my mane in the mirrors, noting how it wobbled and shifted constantly. Was it messy? Maybe, but I found myself liking that; it was untamable, like a wildfire; like me.

“Well I think I like my style.” I said with a grin. “You’ll just have to work around it.”

Rarity gave another smile as she took my last measurements. “Well if you can be happy with that, at least, then I believe I’ll live.”

Mention of living brought my attention back to the fact that I was, at this moment, a fire elemental among very flammable things, not least of all the floor. If I so much as shed a tear in the wrong place, things could get messy. My one comfort was that Twilight was here; as magical as she was, she’d probably be able to keep everything under control, or at least be able to evacuate Rarity if things got out of hoof. As long as Twilight remained, everything was going to be just fine.

“Oh, Twilight, do you think you could fetch the cloth you’ve made?”

“Sure, Rarity!”

Twilight did a quick teleport, and I was alone with Rarity. My legs went stiff, then wobbly. I sat on my haunches to avoid toppling off of my tiny platform. My head was suddenly swimming like Pinkie had just come in and spun me around for a game of pin the tail on the pony.

“Darling, you look… unwell. Is something wrong?” Rarity’s voice cut through my nausea enough for me to look at her face.

“Uh… yeah- no- I mean- Twilight won’t be gone for long, will she?”

Rarity seemed to comprehend at least some of my concern then.

“Ah. No, darling, I think she’ll hurry. In the meantime, maybe you could help me pick out some accessories?”

“Accessor- what, now?”

Rarity was already pulling out a small, diamond-patterned box and pulling out various implements of fashion; Necklaces, Earrings, Brooches, Mane ribbons, and jewelry chains. Rarity, of course, set aside anything flammable for now, and then spread the dazzling array of options in front of me in the air.

“Whoa… what’s all… this?”

“Just a few basic pieces of jewelry we could try out; I’ll be able to obtain something more specific if you want, dear, but right now why don’t we just try a few of these things while we’re waiting for Twilight to get back? I think this piece in particular would look stunning with that mane…”

So Rarity and I tried a few dozen pieces on. I liked a lot of the gold and ruby stuff; it reminded me of the proper colors a fire elemental ought to be, but Rarity seemed to want to try and steer me more towards silver and emeralds. I tried to humor her, but I never really entertained the thought that I’d ever enjoy anything colored so… y’know… water-like.

Of course, after a few minutes all of the pieces just started to blur together and I got a bit antsy. As great as it was that Twilight was willing to set up all these metal plates for me to stand and sit on, There wasn’t a whole lot of room on them to do much other than sit. I tried spinning in place, but that didn’t help much, and if I know how to read Rarity’s expressions right, it made her a bit nervous too.

“Emerald, I swear you might fidget worse than Rainbow…” she said as she was trying to get me to clip on a set of silver earrings for the millionth time. An instant later Twilight came back with a few yards of silver-colored cloth.

“Oh thank goodness!” Rarity said. Twilight gave her a concerned look.

“Is everything alright? Emerald didn’t-”

“No, no, Emerald has been a perfectly behaved mare, but she’s just been a little…”

“I’M BOOOOORED.” I interrupted dramatically, prostrating myself over the metallic sheet I was standing on.

“It seems she doesn’t quite share my passion for beautiful things.” Rarity said with a smirk.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited to see the finished product, but do I have to be here for the whole process?” I asked pitifully. Rarity giggled.

“No, darling, I think you can go; I believe I have everything I need for now. I should have a finished product for you in a few days if I’m not too busy.”

“I’d kiss your hoof if it wasn’t a spectacularly terrible idea.” I said, getting up. I was about to walk back out of the building when Twilight blocked my path. She gave a quick *ahem* before not-so-subtly pointing her horn back towards Rarity. I squinted in confusion for a solid ten seconds before Twilight murmured;

“What do you say…?”

It sounded like a rhetorical question, but I wasn’t sure what Twilight was indicating. Should I be saying something to Rarity before we left?

“Uh… Thank you very much for the dress, Rarity.” I guessed aloud.

“You’re very welcome, darling. I’m sure I’ll enjoy every second of designing it.” Rarity said back. She was already distracted making sketches in her notebook.

Twilight seemed satisfied and led me back out of the building with a smile on her face. As soon as I stepped out, I asked;

“What was that about?”

“Just a good habit to get into.” Twilight said. “Sometimes little things like saying ‘thank you’ can go a long way.”

I thought about that a second, then shook my head. “Everything was a lot simpler in the Plane of Fire. I never really had to say anything. It was just… known…”

I trailed off because I thought that I had heard something. Somepony calling my name, maybe? I looked off in the direction I thought I heard something from, but nopony was there; just a gap between buildings, and beyond it, some sort of wild, wooded area.

“Emerald? Is something wrong?” Twilight asked, somehow suddenly much closer than I thought she had been. I startled a bit at that, nearly touching her coat with a stray hoof as I stumbled backward.

“Oh, no. Sorry.” I said quickly. “I just thought I heard something…”

Twilight had a peculiar expression on her face, looking from me, to the direction I’d been looking, and back several times.

“Well, do you feel like you’re ready to go back to the castle?” Twilight asked.

“Uh- yeah. Let’s go.” I said.

Twilight took me back under her wing, but this time around I felt more confident about my ability to walk through the streets of ponyville unaided. This time my neck was held higher, and, while I did look askance at the thatch roofs of the houses we passed, I found that I didn’t have to force myself to move so much as I did before. We got back to Twilight’s castle in half the time it had taken us to come from it. I initiated a conversation as we entered.

“Umm, Twilight? You were talking about ‘thank yous’ before, and I was thinking… well, thank you, for getting me out of my room. Thanks for proving to me I could be a better friend if I tried.”

“I proved nothing.” Twilight said. “I just gave you the opportunity to prove it to yourself.”

I laughed a bit.

“Y’know, I kinda feel bad having Rarity make me a dress. I mean… It’s not like I’m going to get much of a chance to use it.”

Twilight took on a thoughtful expression. “Really? How do you figure that?”

“Well, from what little I gathered, you’re only really supposed to wear them at fancy parties; I really doubt I’m getting any invitations any time soon.”

“Well, I wouldn’t discount the possibility entirely.” Twilight said playfully. “The Grand Galloping Gala will always need something to make it more… interesting.”

I stopped.

“The What now?”

Author's Note

So this is a bit of a long one; it was originally just going to be a short scene with Emerald and Twilight, but I thought that maybe a test of character would be the prefect opportunity for me to get Emerald into Rarity's boutique, so here we are.

I feel like I might need to heavily edit this chapter later, but here it is.

Entry 22: Home

Starlight wrote from canterlot today about a possible solution; A way that we could get me back to my home and out of this armor. My spark leaped inside me when Twilight came in with the letter.

“How soon can we try it?” I asked.

“Uh- as soon as you’re ready.” Twilight said.

“I’m ready now.” I responded.

“Are you.. Sure?” Twilight asked. “Pinkie will want-”

“I’m sure.” I said. “I don’t want any long, tearful goodbyes. Besides, we don’t even know if this’ll work.”

Twilight took a long look at me before saying “Okay”. I think I detected some shakiness in her voice as she did. Then she cleared her throat and went into lecture mode.

“So, the armor is designed to keep your essence inside it, but Starlight has been studying a way to open a rift within the armor to allow you to slip through it and directly into the plane of fire.”

“That doesn’t sound too complicated. Why didn’t you try that before?”

“Well, in theory, you’re right, it’s not too complicated. In practice, the enchantments surrounding the armor are a bit… volatile, when it comes to interacting with other spells. If done incorrectly, the spell could destroy the armor, and by extension you, before you’ve had the chance to properly escape. Maybe think of it like… magical surgery.”

“Oh…” I said. I only really knew what surgery was on a theoretical level, but I was pretty sure it sometimes involved ponies dying if the doctor wasn’t paying extremely close attention to what they were doing.

“Uh, what are the chances of this ‘surgery’ going wrong?” I asked.

“Higher than I’d like.” Twilight responded. “If you want numbers-”

“I don’t.” I said quickly. “I’m not good with numbers anyway. Just… tell me the most likely outcome.”

“Well, the most likely outcome is that the spell works as intended, but there are a lot of unknowns here; I could never say anything for sure. It could be that everything blows up the moment I start, or it could open a hole in your armor and you’d start bleeding heat, or… nothing.”

I nodded gravely.

“We don’t have to do this right now.” Twilight said. “We can wait to see if Starlight can find some other way, or you could just-”

“No. I’m not gonna… stay.” I said. The last word came out like a burr on my nonexistent tongue.

“Why… why not?” Twilight asked. “We could-”

“You could do any number of things, but you shouldn’t have to.” I said. “I know you’ve been trying to teach me restraint, and I’m grateful for that, but eventually, on purpose or accidentally, a fire’s gonna start, and I’ll look at it and… I don’t know what I’ll do then. I don’t think I want to find out. You could put a path of metal plates everywhere I go, but you shouldn’t have to. We’ll both be happier if I return to where I came from. And if I die… well, that wouldn’t make much difference to you, now, would it?”

Twilight looked at me with a forlorn expression.

“I’ve made up my mind.” I said before she could protest. Twilight stood there looking at me sadly for a few moments before responding.

“Okay.” She said, her voice cracking. “Lemme just- I need to prepare a few things from the library for a minute.”

Twilight turned and walked from the room. I figured a good chunk of her ‘preparing’ had to do with getting her emotions under control before attempting the surgery spell; I didn’t argue.

After a few minutes, I was surprised to see Fluttershy come into my room. She didn’t say anything, just sat down quietly near the door. Her somber expression told me Twilight had explained things to her.

When Twilight eventually came back, she was much more composed, though her eyes may have been a little puffy.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want any goodbyes.” I said to Twilight.

“I know. Fluttershy isn’t here to say anything.” Twilight said. “She just wanted to see you before you left.”

I took a deep breath, then nodded briefly; once to Twilight, once to Fluttershy.

“Are you… ready?” Twilight eventually got around to saying.

“Yeah, you can start.” I said.

“Well, maybe you should lay down.” Twilight said. “This might be… unpleasant.”

I nodded and laid myself down on the ground for what I hoped to be the last time.

Twilight’s horn glowed.

In an instant, I felt a piercing sensation against my side. I didn’t want to look, since any movement on my part may have disrupted Twilight’s concentration, but I could very clearly feel a drill of magical force weaving it’s way deeper and deeper into me, enlarging a hole in my armor. For a terrifying moment I could feel heat gushing out of the gaping wound, only for Twilight to throw another surge of magic into her horn and contain it again. In another instant, I could feel the disorienting sensation of my perspective shifting; these hooves and head and body slowly ceased to be mine, and began again to simply be wrapped around the true me, the gout of malleable fire inside. I shivered, since I hadn’t felt like that ever since Starlight had first put me in this prison, and it reminded me far too much of lifting the leaden weights of my hooves for the first time. I noted with similar disorientation that my body’s limbs and neck were going limp, as my form was retracting from my extremities.

I was a proper fire elemental again., in the center of a round, metallic space that suddenly seemed much more vast. I experimented a bit with stretching and squashing my form and found that I could move with much, much more freedom, now.

I wanted to shout out to Twilight that everything was going great so far, but at the moment I wasn’t in control of any sort of jaw, and I was a little rusty in speaking without it. Instead I did a little dance around my massive shell, hoping that Twilight would see. When I looked out from between the cracks in the armor, however, Twilight’s eyes were closed tightly in concentration, her horn practically blasting magenta light.

A small mote of light began expanding in the center of the armor’s cavity. After it expanded a bit, it looked like a miniature sun, which, I soon realized, it was, in that it was also a portal directly into the plane of fire. It was beautiful to finally be able to see it again after all this time; it was even warmer than I remembered.

I cautiously approached the spherical portal, not daring to believe that this was finally my chance, but then I dove in.

Everything was bright, everything was burning…

Everything was connected.

All at once I began receiving communications from other elementals, about nothing in particular. My form vibrated in kind, telling everyone how glad I was that I was back. A few confused voiced responded, asking where exactly I had been, and I responded with, more or less, long story. Some voices shrugged and moved on, some leaned in closer to hear a more in-depth explanation. Just as I was about to give it, I felt… a tug.

It was something I felt almost on an emotional level, except that it was preventing me from going any further. I was touching the plane of fire, tasting it, but it was like there was a string attached that kept me from pulling away from the portal entirely.

What? No… no… NO! I’m so close! I thought. The others picked up on it, confused.

I’m… being pulled back! Into the material plane! I said to them. The string that held me was slowly reeling me back through the portal, back into the metal body-prison. I struggled against the forces that were pulling on me, but whatever thread had held me was practically made from steel; it didn’t budge. Eventually I was no longer fighting to break it, but merely trying to delay my backward passage.

Guys, don’t forget me! Help! I can’t hold on much-

The next thing I knew, I was in my metal body again, laying on my side. Twilight was nearby, breathing heavily, and Fluttershy was holding her hooves over her mouth, a shocked expression coming from her eyes. I was suddenly extremely exhausted; this world was so cold… how had I not noticed that before? I shivered furiously.

“I… I’m so sorry, Emerald. I couldn’t… I couldn’t break it…” Twilight said. I’m pretty sure there were tears falling from her eyes, even though I didn’t look at the time; I was too busy staring forlornly at no spot in particular in the far wall.

Fluttershy walked over to comfort me. As she reached out her hoof, I spoke up to stop her.

“Don’t.” I said. “You’ll burn.”

Fluttershy flinched backward.

“I’m sorry,” I think I heard her say.

I had a thought, but didn’t say it out loud.

Not as sorry as I am.

Entry 26: Have I mentioned how much I love Scary Sun-Pony?

Princess Celestia stopped by today.

I was laying on the floor, feeling cold, when I noticed her standing in the doorway.

I immediately closed my eyes; maybe Blaze hadn’t noticed her yet.

“P-Princess,” I said. I could already feel Blaze welling up inside, coming up like vomit. He urged my limbs to move, to strike at one of the ponies that dared to imprison him. I tensed as I resisted.

“Emerald.” Celestia said. “And… Blaze, I presume?”

“Yeah,” I said, grimacing. “Twilight told you, then.”

“I’m so sorry.” Celestia said. “To both of you.”

Blaze’s anger grew and blew past my control; I- He- flung my body at the forcefield and slammed our hooves against it, inches from Celestia’s face. Rather than green, the fire contained within my metal shell glowed ruby red and strained against its bonds, threatening to crack both of us open. A guttural roar erupted from our mouth before our fire sputtered and we collapsed back to the floor in exhaustion. Green prevailed again as I took control.

After a few deep breaths, I said;

“Sorry, princess. I don’t think Blaze is in the mood to talk.”

The princess and I sat in silence for a bit after that. Then, she walked through the forcefield.

I was startled when she did, I had honestly forgotten she could do that, but that surprise was also mixed with fear from my roommate. I couldn’t help but smile a little, inwardly, as I remembered how I had felt the first time she had come in unannounced.

Blaze seized control of a hoof and pushed us a pace away from Celestia before growling at the white alicorn.

“Blaze. Do you know who I am?” Celestia said.

That’s Celestia! The sparking WIELDER OF THE SUN! I shouted to Blaze within our connection. As Blaze came up to take control of our face, it’s expression shifted to a scowl. he said nothing.

“Speak.” Celestia commanded.

“I know who you are, soft one.” Blaze said. “You are the tyrant who has bottled us up like flies and parades us through your skies like a filly with her toys.”

My own anger was kindled, then.

She could kill you! She could snuff you out right this instant and nopony would stop her! I shouted at him. He scowled deeper.

“So, are you here to enact upon me whatever sort of witchcraft has deluded my sister in fire?”

Celestia’s expression shifted almost imperceptibly.

“The changes you detect in your compatriot are of her own making. They are hers to do or undo as she wishes. I would say the same of you.”

Blaze hissed back.

“You have obscured her view of our eternal purpose; all must burn. Perhaps I can help her to remember…”

Blaze then turned inward, toward me, and attacked. He shot tendrils of memories and ideas, trying to cram them inside me, while simultaneously trying to rip away the things I’d experienced here in the castle. I fought back, but mostly, I dodged, weaving around and coiling tight around those parts of myself he wanted to take away.

No! I am me! Stop it! I said.

Get back here, insolent spark! He shouted after me.

Luckily, while he was the larger and more powerful of the two of us, I was faster. Our red and green shades chased each other around in circles within our prison, neither able to truly fight the other except in passing.

“ENOUGH!”

Celestia’s voice ripped through our fight, a blast of golden magical force flinging us into opposite ends of the stomach cavity.

As we glared at each other from across the space, Celestia spoke again.

“Your sister wishes to remain as she is, red spark. The nature of your prison prevents me from destroying one without the other, but If you persist in your assaults against her, I will have no choice but to extinguish you, however entwined your fates may be at the time.”

That actually made me feel a lot better, surprisingly. If Blaze was going to disassemble me and put me back together in his own image… well, I’d rather die at that point. It took me another second to realize that, not too long ago, I hadn’t been all that different from him. Amazing what can happen in just a few weeks, huh?

Then again, maybe Celestia was bluffing. As far as I knew, she’d never even tried to kill an elemental, let alone gone through with it, and that was back when she was practically waging a war.

But, for the record, I think I would ask her to, if it came down to it.

Blaze soon turned his attention back to using the body, which was fine with me, for the moment. I used the time to rest up.

“You have committed crimes against the truest state of matter.” Blaze said as he climbed back up to his feet. “For this you shall-”

Blaze swung a hoof at Celestia’s face. I assume he wanted to end his sentence with ‘pay’ or something like that, but he was soon a bit distracted by the fact that Celestia had blocked his blow, bare-hoofed.

“I see.” Celestia eventually said calmly. “It seems that negotiation is off the table, then.”

Yeah, Celestia! You show ‘im! Get ‘im! I thought briefly before remembering that anything she did to him would probably also happen to me by necessity. Meanwhile, Blaze was gazing in horror at the hoof and fur that refused to burn from his touch.

Celestia pushed his hoof gently back to the floor, then stepped forward to whisper into our ears.

“Know this, Blaze. If I ever suspect that you’ve harmed Emerald in any way, you will have me to answer to, and if I find that you’re guilty, I won’t snuff you like the candle’s flame you are. Instead, I will show you flames so intense, even you would recoil from them.”

Whatever was left of Blaze’s bravado withered instantly. I froze at the thought. I wanted to ask Celestia whether her threat was even possible, but I feared an honest answer more than the uncertainty of not knowing. I think Blaze felt much the same way, since we both kept quiet as Celestia made her exit.

Entry 27: Cosmic botany 101

Last night I was… tired. Tired from trying to keep Blaze at bay, tired from living on half the fuel I’ve been used to. Tired from not being able to be with my friends.

Emerald… came a voice that was getting distressingly familiar.

I was too tired to yell back at it.

What do you want? I thought back, not really expecting an answer.

You need to come. Come to us…

I could still feel the direction the voices were coming from; I knew that if I got up and looked through the window I’d see the canopy of the everfree forest poking just above the thatched roofs of ponyville.

Tough luck. I replied. I’m grounded.

No more words came, but I felt a continuing tug that eventually just faded into the background. If I’d had control of my jaws at the moment, I might've groaned.

There was a tenuous peace between myself and Blaze for now, if only because Blaze knew that succeeding in consuming me would make some very powerful ponies very, very angry.

That didn’t stop him from trying to break out, of course, but at least I could just ignore him at that point; I personally knew that there was no way for him to succeed, particularly on the half-rations I’d suggested for us both.

So it was that when Starlight came in the morning, Blaze was too tired to strike at her.

On the one hand, I was glad to see her as a friend. On the other…

“You… couldn’t find anything else in the archives?” I asked.

Starlight shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

I laughed in spite of myself. It was a dry huff with barely any humor behind it.

“It’s not your fault.” I said.

“It is my fault, though. I’m the one who took you here, who was stupid enough-”

“Hey, stop it; you’re many things, Starlight, but stupid isn’t one of them.”

She shook her head, indicating she didn’t believe me.

A few moments of silence followed.

“Starlight, I don’t think I ever said this; not directly, anyway, but… I forgive you. For everything. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to me because there’s no blame to go around. I’m glad I’m here, right now. I’m glad I have you, and Pinkie, and Twilight, and Fluttershy for friends, instead of just… existing.”

Starlight shook her head again.

“You’re telling me all those things you showed me, the flying, the playing, the connection you felt back home, you don’t want any of that back?”

I sighed.

“I… I don’t know.” I said. “All of that, my life before I came here, that’s a part of me. I guess I do want it back, but… What I’ve done with you and Twilight, that’s a part of me now, too. A part of me that I’ll always want to keep, no matter what happens.”

Starlight closed her eyes, and I think I saw a tear fall from her eye.

Blaze had apparently been listening, because I heard some disgust emerge somewhere from within his thoughts.

No one asked you. I thought back.

It was about that time when Twilight burst into the room, looking like her mane had been through a windstorm. She was holding up a few pieces of parchment and had a twitch to her eyes.

“Emerald, when were you going to tell me?” Twilight demanded.

“Uh… tell you what?” I asked.

Twilight slapped the papers onto the floor, revealing… well, I wasn’t really sure. I still can’t read. Her student came to the rescue, however.

“You’ve been reading Emerald’s journals?” Starlight asked.

“Yes,” Twilight said. “And I’ve just now discovered that she’s recorded several instances of hearing some sort of voice calling to her from the everfree!”

“Oh, yeah, that.” I said. “You’re getting to those just now?”

“I’ve had a bit on my plate!” Twilight said defensively. “What with my second coronation coming up soon- but that’s beside the point! Emerald, why didn’t you tell me you were hearing mysterious summons to the everfree?”

“I did tell you, or I told Spike, anyway. He’s the one who wrote it down. Why do you even think this is suddenly so important?”

“Because there’s only one thing in the everfree I can think of that would be reaching out to you like that; the Tree of Harmony!”

“Treehouse of Harmony, name-pending.” Starlight corrected.

“Right, the tree was destroyed a while ago, but that’s beside the point!” Twilight said.

“Riiiight.” I said. “So… what’s this tree… house… thingy you’re talking about? Am I gonna have to burn it down to stop the incessant shouting in my ear?”

“NO!” Twilight and Starlight said simultaneously, suddenly in a panic.

“Um… no.” Twilight said sheepishly once she calmed down. “But you should probably at least go to see what it wants; maybe it wants to help!”

Blaze suddenly erupted from within.

“We need no help from you, soft ones!” He shouted.

Twilight flinched. Starlight rolled her eyes.

Blaze, please let us adults talk for a minute, ‘kay? I said as I squished my way past him to regain control of my mouth. He stubbornly held on to control for a few seconds before relenting.

I gave a short ahem to re-practice using my voice before addressing Twilight again.

“Okay, so there’s a tree-thing that might want to help. How in the world would it do that?”

“I… don’t know. Before it was destroyed, the original tree existed for over a thousand years, and who knows how long Harmony itself existed in different forms before then. Nopony really understands how it works, but it has always been a force for good, that much is clear.”

“Hmm. Maybe it just wants to get rid of me.” I said.

“Emerald!” Twilight scolded.

“What? I’m not part of this world’s natural order; if this tree is a force of… Harmony, did you call it? …Chances are the best thing for it to do would be to get rid of me.”

“Well, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.” Starlight said hesitantly. “I mean… if the tree was able to send you and Blaze back home…”

“Or it could just kill us, that’d get us out of the way.” I said.

“I… don’t think that’s how the tree works.” Twilight said. “It doesn’t… kill things, to my knowledge. Even Discord, once the antithesis of Harmony, was just turned into stone for a thousand years when he went up against it.”

“Well, okay, I suppose that does improve my chances, but it’s all moot anyway. I can’t go on a fancy vision-quest to get help from the tree because I’ve got a roommate in here that’s going to take every chance he gets to set everything on fire. I can’t leave this room as long as he’s here.”

“We’ll… figure something out.” Twilight said. “Besides, this is more important than that. You want another chance to go home, don’t you?”

I didn’t answer, just stared at the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Twilight said hastily. “I didn’t mean to say-”

“It’s alright, Twilight.” I interrupted. “The truth is, I don’t know whether I want to be here or there, but if going to this tree thing will keep all of you safe from Blaze… I’ll do it, and I’ll accept whatever cost that comes with it. Just… make sure he doesn’t burn everything down on the way, yeah?”

Entry 28a: This one takes twice as long to read, but takes place in only an hour-ish.

I expected Twilight and Starlight to come up with an ingenious magical solution to get me and Blaze through ponyville and the everfree safely. They might have tried putting us to sleep, or created some sort of force field to prevent us from touching anything. At one point I thought that they might’ve just tried to teleport us directly there; that would have been very simple. Instead, Twilight and Starlight came into my room with a totally mundane iron cage.

“That’s… disappointing. What happened to teleportation?” I asked.

“Too dangerous.” Starlight said. “Your armor won’t play nice with most magic spells we try to cast, and Teleportation in particular might be tricky, considering you’re two seperate non-physical entities inside an enchanted copper tube that’ll burn either of us if we touch it, not to mention if the teleport with you, Blaze, or the suit goes wrong, you both die.”

I gave a deep sigh.

“So much for this being easy.”

“It’ll just be an hour’s walk into the forest.” Twilight said as she opened the door of the cage for me.”We’ll be there before you know it.”

“Yeah… okay.” I said.

Suddenly I had the thought that this may be the last chance I had to see… anypony. Once we found the tree, I might be sent back to the plane of fire, or dead, or… nothing, I guess. In any case, it just felt very… final.

I closed my eyes, trying to work up the courage to step forward.

Blaze tried to take a step back, I resisted.

“Guys… Blaze is being a bit… difficult.” I said. “A little… little help?”

Twilight and Starlight’s horns lit up almost simultaneously, sliding me slowly into the cage while I did my best to keep Blaze from working against them.

Once we were inside and the cage started moving, Blaze started speaking to me.

These bars look weak. If we both worked together, perhaps we could melt-

Not happening. I thought back. I’m keeping you inside this cage until we get there, and then, hopefully, you’ll be back in your own world, never able to threaten this one ever again.

And you? He asked pointedly.

Don’t know, don’t care, and you don’t, either.

You are a fool. He replied. You can help bring light and glory to this world, yet you do nothing.

Yeah, well, maybe you’re a fool, too, for not seeing, or even wanting to see, what has made me begin to love this place.

There is nothing worth understanding but our divine purpose, He retorted.

Only because you refuse to understand it, I said.

It became extremely clear to both of us that this conversation was going nowhere by the time Twilight and Starlight made it to the ground floor, levitating our cage between them. When they opened the front doors of the castle, a small group of ponies had gathered before the front steps.

First in line was Pinkie, whose quivering eyes looked like dams ready to burst. Next was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who looked more disappointed than anything else. On the other side was Fluttershy, who looked sad in a more subdued way, and Rarity, who was daintily dabbing her eyes with a tissue and holding something behind her back.

My spark ached when I saw them.

“I… I don’t want any long goodbyes.” I said.

“WELL I DO!” The dam that was Pinkie’s eyes burst open as she leapt forward and hugged the cage. Blaze and I both inched backward as streams of tears fell from her eyes

“I, um… haven’t even been that great of a friend.” I said.

“But it was gonna be the best! I was gonna make you charcoal cupcakes and we were gonna play pin the tail on the pony and go bobbing for pinecones and… and- IT WAS GONNA BE THE BEST PARTY EVER!”

I gave a bit of a bittersweet laugh at that.

“Okay, Pinkie, I’ll miss you, too.”

Soon afterward, Pinkie sniffled and cried her last, just before slipping a skinny pinecone through the bars of the cage with a small candle fixed to the top. I smiled and picked it up, remembering to blow the candle on before I swallowed it.

“Thanks, Pinkie. You’re the best.” I said. She, ever the humble pony, nodded in agreement before wandering off, threatening to start bawling again.

“I’m just disappointed we didn’t help you find something yer good at.” Apple Bloom said.

“Well, maybe that’s just cuz I’m way too good at being myself.” I said. “I really appreciate you fillies trying, anyway.”

“And we’ll keep trying!” Scootaloo said. “Maybe if we figure out your special talent, you can come back and use it to help everypony!”

“Yeah!” Sweetie said helpfully.

I smiled again.

“Maybe.” I said. I didn’t have the heart to say I might not be able to come back at all.

“Well I, for one, am disappointed that you won’t be able to try this on before you leave.” Rarity interjected. She was holding out a simple, stylish dress in wine-red and gold trim, decorated on each side by flame-shaped accessories that spread out like wings.

“You finished it!” I said.

“Well, not quite.” Rarity said “There’s still a few decorations I wanted to add, but… well.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, it looks great from here.” I said. “I’m sorry I probably won’t get to use it.”

“Well, I had fun making it, anyway.” Rarity said. “I wish you all the happiness in either of our worlds.”

“You, too.” I said back as she left.

Finally, I looked toward Fluttershy. She didn’t say anything, predictably. She just nodded in acknowledgement.

“Thank you, Fluttershy, for listening.” I said. “Thanks for stopping me in the road, too.”

Fluttershy nodded again, and she reverently said something like “You’re welcome” before leaving.

I felt Blaze encroaching on my motor functions. I’d felt him growing impatient for the entire, long goodbye, but now that everypony except Twilight and Starlight were gone, I felt comfortable letting him back in control again.

“How… disgusting.” he said.

“Yeah, yeah. Can it, Sparky.” Starlight said as she resumed carrying the cage with her telekinesis.

The walk through Ponyville was uneventful, with just a few ponies looking distractedly at us as we passed. Twilight did her best to keep ponies away from the cage so Blaze wouldn’t lunge at them.

Once we passed into the everfree, the trip became very quiet. Apparently Twilight and Starlight weren’t in the mood for chit-chat. The only sounds I heard were the sparkling sounds of Starlight and Twilight carrying the cage and the occasional bird call from the woods.

I’m not sure how long the two of them had been walking when I heard something hit the bottom of the cage. I looked down at where the sound had come from and saw a single droplet of water.

“Uh… girls? What’s the weather schedule like today?” I asked warily.

“What?” Starlight asked. Soon afterward a raindrop hit her in the nose. “Oh… dear…” Starlight said, her expression horrified as she stared at the droplet sliding down her muzzle.

“What?” Twilight asked from the other side of my cage. I began hearing more and more raindrops hitting the ground, the leaves on the nearby trees, and the roof of the cage. A few more drops blew in through the bars of the cage and spattered on my hooves, shooting a cold, sharp pain through them.

Blaze recoiled, retracting our hooves.

“What cursed place is this?” He demanded.

Twilight began to panic.

“Oh, no… I completely forgot! In the Everfree, the clouds don’t wait for pegasi to move them, they just-”

“-Ambush unsuspecting travelers?!” I asked incredulously.

“We need to find shelter, fast.” Starlight said.

“I’ll see what I can do about the clouds!” Twilight said, using her wings to rocket herself up through the canopy.

Starlight ran frantically about through the trees, looking desperately for somewhere that was safe from the rain. The wind was beginning to blow harder, and sometimes it would switch directions spontaneously, bringing with it new angles deadly spittle could be flung into my face. Blaze and I, in agreement for once, did our best to anticipate where the rain would come from next and get to the opposite side of the cage, but inevitably a few sprays of rainwater hit our back and sides, causing a painful hiss and loss of heat every time.

Eventually, Starlight found a tree that offered some moderate protection and dragged our cage next to it. It wasn’t perfect protection, but at the very least the wind had one less angle to come at us from. Starlight was beginning to use a few large branches to construct a wind barrier when we both heard a low, rumbling growl coming from all around us.

Oh, come on.. What else could go wrong right now?

Starlight lit her horn and took a defensive stance.

A pair of massive, green eyes, each the size of Starlight’s entire face, gazed back at us from the shadows. As the thing approached, what little sunlight that filtered through the clouds above revealed a long, toothy maw made entirely from sharpened sticks and logs. It had four legs, each with a paw on the end that could flatten a pony in a single strike, not to mention the three wickedly sharp claws the size of swords that were poking out from each. After a second, the stench of it’s breath hit us, and Starlight’s nose curled in disgust. Personally, the smell reminded me of the burnt chocolate cloud that had surrounded me after Pinkie convinced me to eat that s’more.

“Timberwolves. Had to be timberwolves.” Starlight muttered.

In any other situation, I might’ve laughed; A giant monster like this was nothing to sneeze at, of course, but the thing was made of wood. One touch from either myself or Blaze and the whole thing would go up in flames, but at the moment Blaze and myself were trapped in a tiny cage trying not to get hit by the freezing droplets falling from the sky. Those same droplets, might I add, had soaked this particular timberwolf to the core.

Starlight wasted little time tossing some sort of kinetic blast from her horn; It struck the monster before her center-mass and blew it into pieces. My own private celebration was soon cut short, however, when another one dove in from our left, batting at Starlight with a massive paw. Luckily, she was able to teleport away before the blow hit. Unluckily, I could already see the pieces of the first timberwolf beginning to glow and reassemble themselves, and I might have seen a third set of massive green eyes approaching from the darkness.

Starlight was good with magic, no doubt about that; She was teleporting around the area faster than my eyes could follow and firing spells with blistering speed, but it seems like she didn’t have the time to charge up a spell like the one that had blown apart the first timberwolf, and even that one was rapidly recovering. Starlight, on the other hand, must have been rapidly losing stamina.

No, no no… I thought. Don’t die…

Blaze, on the other hand, projected amusement.

It seems your pony friend is in over her head. Once she’s gone, we will simply have to wait out the rain so we can make our escape.

I set my jaw. You’re content just sitting back and watching her die?

Of course. He said. In the vast cosmos, she means nothing. Only the mission matters.

I held back a response, opting instead to scowl. Soon afterward, I gasped as Starlight took a swipe to her side that sent her flying into a nearby tree. Both timberwolves dove in for the kill shortly afterward, but Starlight was able to teleport herself out of danger before resuming the fight with a nasty gash on her left flank.

She really wasn’t going to win this fight.

Blaze, I can’t wait for the rain to end; I need to get out now. I said.

Are you insane, little spark? Water cascades down around us!

You’re eventually going to need both of us to get out, right? There’s no way you’d be able to muster enough heat to melt through these bars by yourself.

Blaze hesitated before saying …yes.

If you let Starlight die, I’ll never forgive you. I’ll refuse to help you no matter how long we sit in this cage, and we can both starve and die in here for all I care.

You wouldn’t- Blaze began.

Don’t test me! I thought back. With that message I also showed him a few of my emotions; just how determined I was to carry out my threat. After a few milliseconds of silence, I continued.

The only way you’re getting out of this cage is if you help me to break it right now. It’s now or never, got it?

Blaze deliberated for a moment before saying, Fine, I’ll help you break the bars; but I won’t help you save your pony friend.

I didn’t ask you to. I said back. Break the lock; it’s less work than the bars.

Blaze took one of my hooves and began channeling heat into the left side of the lock; I took the other forehoof and began squeezing the right side as well. Both hooves began to glow, and the lock itself changed from iron black to a cherry red.

As we worked, I was dimly aware that Starlight’s movements were becoming slower; her constant spellcasting was beginning to take a toll on her body, not to mention she was beginning to lose blood. I redoubled my efforts, and the lock went from red to orange. Our hooves were glowing, too, and I felt them beginning to deteriorate; copper was, of course, much easier to melt than iron; I probably should have thought of that earlier, but we were committed, now. At first I tried to keep the heat evenly distributed throughout my hoof, but it soon became clear that the entire thing would melt down before the lock would. Instead, I began to concentrate the heat so that it would exit my hoof through a single point. That point instantly turned into slag and started leaking heat like a blowtorch, but as long as I kept all of my heat concentrated on that point, the rest of the hoof would hopefully be safe.

The lock went from orange to white, and I decided it was time to change strategies; I spun our body around, pivoted onto our forehooves, and gave the lock a swift buck. The softened metal buckled under the pressure and the door swung open.

Excellent. Blaze said. You’re a fool, little spark. Now all I have to do is keep us here until the rain stops. I don’t have to let this body go to help your pony friend at all.

I have a counterargument. I said.

What?

That’s the instant I smashed into him with a warhammer fashioned from thoughts and memories. All at once he was hit by my first night in a rainstorm, when I was cowering and Twilight came to comfort me, and with Pinkie coming by to throw me a ‘welcome to ponyville’ party, and then again a few days later after I’d spared ten papers in a day. I hit him with the dream Starlight and I had shared, and the anger I’d felt while I was punishing her, and I hit him with the regret she’d felt as she realized that she’d clipped my wings. I hit him with my own horror at the fact that I’d destroyed Twilight’s kitchen, and the loneliness I’d felt when I thought that she’d never forgive me.

All of those memories and emotions were tangled and woven together into a solid block of willpower that dazed him with a thousand different experiences he’d have trouble comprehending on their own, let alone in a group. I felt a tiny chip of that block break off and become absorbed into his psyche; a tiny piece of myself I’d never get back, but the effect of the psychic blow sent him convulsing uncontrollably in random directions.

Confused as he was, I was able to pull complete control of my body back, and I ran out into the rain. Puddles had started forming in the mud below my hooves, and every step was painful, but I pushed through it. Heat was still rapidly draining from the hole I’d punched in my hoof in order to open the cage door, but I pressed through that, as well. As I turned to look at the timberwolves, I heard a cry from starlight; they’d caught her across her other flank, and she flew a good fifty feet before landing haphazardly in a muddy puddle. The timberwolves stalked closer, their wounds already mending themselves, and Starlight wasn’t getting up.

I charged faster than I ever thought I could have, closing the distance between myself and Starlight in milliseconds. I jumped clear over Starlight’s prone body and into the middle of the timberwolves. One swiped at me, but I jumped over the blow and onto the side of the other. White steam started rising from his sodden hide where I touched him, and he roared as he began to shake, trying to throw me off.I jumped off of his side and onto the back of his friend, who began trying to shake me off as well.

Instead of jumping again, I dug my hooves into the moss and debris that covered the timberwolf’s back. More white steam pulmed around me as the moisture evaporated on contact with my flames. I was losing heat even more quickly now, but I kept digging until I finally found what I was looking for; Dry wood.

The protected kindling at the Timberwolf’s heart was set ablaze before I even knew I’d found it, thanks to the blowtorch still emanating from my right hoof. A fresh wave of heat exploded outward, warming my insides and giving me more time to work. As I continued to burrow into the timberwolf’s back, it’s friend slammed a paw into my own back, breaking the armor and letting several more jets of flame erupt. The timberwolf instantly regretted his move as the flames erupting from my back set his paw ablaze, but he was soon able to extinguish it in the mud on the ground. Before he could try anything else, I jumped onto his back and repeated the process of burrowing through his back to try and find the dry wood at his core.

The thing scratched at me like a tick, but eventually I was able to dig deep enough that his insides caught fire, and a few seconds after that, he fell over, dead.

I hid inside his corpse for a few minutes. I hoped to the Allspark that there weren’t any others nearby, because I could no longer afford to be out in the rain; I was still leaking heat from four separate spots and the burning wood around me was the only thing keeping me alive.

I sat like that for a minute or two until I heard Twilight’s voice nearby.

“Emerald! Emerald!”

“I’m here!” I shouted.

Twilight’s face popped into view, she coughed a bit on the smoke before she managed to speak.

“Ohmygosh are you alright?” Twilight asked frantically.

“I’m bleeding heat.” I said, “And Starlight’s wounded. I don’t know how bad.”

“She’s already starting to wake up.” Twilight said. Then her expression went dark.

“What about Blaze?”

“Under control, for now.” I said. “But I think it’d be best if you tried to fix our cage before he recovers.”

You tricked me. Blaze said groggily.

Do you want another brain-bash? I said. I don’t want to, but I will.

Being quiet. He conceded angrily.

Long story short, Twilight was able to revive Starlight and heal her a bit with first-aid magic. Starlight was then, in turn, able to seal my wounds before I bled out. At some point in the middle, Twilight was finally able to fly up up and clear away the last of the rainclouds so I could walk freely again. The cage, sadly, was unsalvageable, but it also turned out to be mostly unnecessary, since Blaze was cowed by the threat of another journey into my memories enough to stay quiet for the few minutes it’d take us to walk the rest of the way. Honestly, it felt very good to just be able to go somewhere on my own four hooves without worrying whether someone else was going to try and jerk me around and burn everything in sight.

Eventually, We came to a gorge spanned by a rickety wooden bridge. Beyond it was the ruins of a castle, and sprouting up from the middle of the ruins I could see the gleaming canopy of a huge crystalline tree.

“Well, I’m not sure how we’re going to get you across this bridge.” Starlight said warily.

Emerald… I heard the voice call, and with the call came directions.

“Well, conveniently, I don’t think it wants me to go across the bridge. It wants us to go down.” I said, pointing a hoof down a set of stairs that had been carved into the side of the ravine.

“Oh, thank goodness.” Starlight said. “I don’t think I’d have the energy to levitate you all the way across in this state.”

I led the way down the stairs, Twilight and Starlight behind me. When I reached the bottom, I was called toward a large cave opening in the far side of the ravine; I could see crystalline roots pushing through the ceiling and instantly knew they had to be connected to the treehouse above.

I approached the opening, then hesitated for a few seconds.

“Emerald?” Twilight asked.

“I… um… I feel like it wants me to come in alone.” I said. “Me and Blaze, I mean.”

“Oh.” Twilight said, she looked down at the ground sadly. Starlight had a similar expression.

I sat at the threshold for a few moments longer before turning back to the two ponies behind me.

“Hey, so… this might be goodbye.” I said. “Either the tree’s gonna send me back, or get rid of me, or… something. So…”

Before I could say anything else, Starlight hugged me. I felt tingly wherever I felt her fur touch me.

“Uh… shouldn’t you be burning right now?” I asked.

“Temporary fireproof enchantment.” She said simply.

“Heh, leave it to you to find a magical solution to every social problem.” I said.

And I hugged her back.

I felt a twitch from Blaze, but ignored it, mostly. I did separate a little earlier than I might’ve liked for his sake.

I looked to Twilight next.

“Thank you, princess, for everything.” I said. “For your care, and your patience, and your generosity. I wouldn’t be standing here without each and every bit of it.”

Twilight nodded with a small smile.

With that, I turned and walked into the cave.

Author's Note

I decided to split this one into two parts because CLIFFHANGER! MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!

And also the reason stated in the title.

Entry 28b: Heart's Desire

I walked deep into the cave, crystalline roots extending above my head and around the walls, into the floor. I soon left Twilight and Starlight behind, my view of them cut off by a bend in the tunnel.

After a minute or so of walking, I came to a dead end covered in crystalline roots. There wasn’t any voice calling, telling me where to go from there, so I just sat down.

“I.. I’m here.” I called out to nobody in particular. No response, so I just sat there for a minute or two, thinking.

Blaze was quickly getting antsy, so I turned to walk out, but was stopped by the sight of Twilight standing in the middle of my path.

“T-Twilight?” I stammered. “I thought I said I didn’t want you to follow…”

Twilight didn’t say anything, just tilted her head and looked at me with a strange, blank expression.

“Twilight?” I asked, suddenly a bit wary. This behavior was, from my admittedly limited experience, very unlike her. Almost… mechanical?

“Are you Twilight?” I asked.

The thing that looked like Twilight shook her head.

“No,” she intoned.

I started shaking for some reason. “T-then, are you the one who called me here?”

“Yes.” The Twilight-looking thing said, nodding.

I nodded slowly. So this was the thing that could send me back home.

“Are you… are you going to send us back?” I asked. She tilted her head again.

“Do you want to be sent back?” She asked.

“I… maybe.” I said. “I… I don’t know. I want my friends to be safe, I know that much.”

The Twilight nodded.

“And what do you want for yourself?” She asked.

I closed my eyes, napalm tears streaming through their corners.

“I don’t know.” I said. “There are so many things, and I’m afraid that I can’t have them all. I… I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Well I know what I want. Blaze said. I want to end this conversation as soon as possible.

To my surprise, the Twilight-thing reacted, even though I was sure Blaze had only thought those words.

“Ah, the unrepentant spark,” She said. “You shall have your wish.”

There was a brief feeling of vertigo and reality-warping suction, and then Blaze was gone. I blinked, feeling myself in total control of my body for the first time in almost a week. I wanted to ask how this was possible, but… this Twilight seemed like more of the ‘mysterious riddles’ type than the type to give out long, drawn-out explanations.

“I… t-thank you.” I said instead.

“It was his wish.” She said back. “What is yours?”

“I… I… I don’t know.” I said. “If I go, I’ll never be able to see my friends again. If I stay, I’ll constantly be worried that I’m going to destroy them and everything they hold dear. I can’t… it’s an impossible choice.”

The Twilight thing stared at me for a few more seconds before saying;

“I did not ask you whether you wanted to go or stay. I asked you, ‘What is your wish?’”

It took me a while to parse that statement properly.

“Wait… just how much are you offering me?” I asked.

“Your heart’s desire; nothing more, and nothing less.” She responded. “If you do, truly desire it.”

I sat on my haunches and rested my head on my hoof, staring off into space, thinking of all the possibilities. What was my heart’s desire? What did I want right now, more than anything else?

And in an instant I knew.

“Yeah, yeah I do desire it.” I said. “I know what I want.”

Starlight was pacing back and forth across the tunnel entrance when I came back around the bend in the cave. Twilight was sitting uncomfortably, probably wondering how long they should wait until they should just assume that I was never coming back.

I was busy thinking what sort of clever line I should shout to them when I tripped on a small rock and fell to my knees. I gave off a short grunt that gave me away, and the two ponies looked, squinting into the cave.

“Emerald, is that you?” Starlight asked into the darkness.

“Yup.” I said. “Just… tripped, a little.”

“I… I can’t see you.” Starlight said. “Shouldn’t you be glowing?”

“Well, um… not really.” I said as I got up again, a smile crossing my muzzle. “Here, it’ll be easier if you can just… see.”

I stepped slowly into the light, causing Starlight to gasp and Twilight to cover her mouth with her hooves in surprise. The creature that emerged into the midday sun had real hooves, and a pale yellow-green coat. Her mane was disheveled and messy, and sported a minty shade with white streaks. Through that same mane poked a sharp unicorn horn, and on her flank was a picture of a yellow-green flame, burning like a campfire or a cozy hearth.

“So, uh… how do I look?” I asked, trying out my new vocal chords. That line of thought was soon interrupted by two Pink and purple ponies tackling me in huge bear-hugs. The sensation was just right, and for the first time, I cried real, wet tears.

Pinkie was ecstatic when I came back, and She immediately ran off to start planning my “Welcome to Being a Pony” party. The CMC were thrilled to found out that I was sporting a brand-new Cutie Mark, but I knew it wasn’t that big of a deal; After all, Fire being a part of who I am is something I’d always known, I’d just, paradoxically, not been able to truly embrace it until now. I did want to go back to Rarity’s boutique to try on my new dress, but, once she got over the shock of seeing me in pony, she insisted that it just wasn’t quite ready yet and I’d be able to try it out once she’d had it adjusted. Fluttershy seems like the only pony who secretly wishes I’d stayed as an elemental; now that I’m a pony, I think she feels like she has to be as nervous around me as anypony else. Maybe some more time will help her to feel differently.

For now, Twilight has agreed to keep me around in her castle until I can find myself a proper job; All kinds of options have suddenly opened up now that I can touch things without burning them, though I still think it might be a bit difficult to resist making something burst into flames from time to time.

We can worry about all of that later, though. For now, I’ve started yawning, and according to Twilight and Spike that means I need to get to sleep. Sparks, this pony body comes with a whole lot of new sensations that’ll take getting used to. I don’t regret my choice one bit, though. No matter how much adjustment it’ll take, I’ll be able to work through it with Starlight and Twilight’s help. I can’t promise it’ll be an easy road, but… well, Friends will make it a lot easier.

Well, I guess this might be my last entry for a while; Since I’m no longer a fire elemental, biologically at least, Twilight no longer needs me to keep this journal for scientific reasons, though I might try start it up again on my own time. Once I learn to read and write, that is.

For now, then, goodbye, and I hope to write again.

Author's Note

This isn't quite the end of what I want to write of this story. I still want to do a short Epilouge, and then maybe I'll see what I can do for a sequel. At the very least, a couple of you wanted a chapter on what Emerald would do at the Grand Galloping Gala, and I intend to deliver... Eventually.

I really wasn't planning on Turning Emerald into a pony until I was, like, halfway through writing this chapter. (not counting Entry 28a, even.) I had a good inkling that Emerald would want to stay, but How exactly I could facilitate that was a mystery. For a good chunk of time I was thinking Emerald would just stay in her elemental form, with a few modifications to the suit to make it more bearable, but inspiration struck in the middle of writing and this is how it turned out.

Twilight Sparkle's post-examination report.

Twilight Sparkle’s research notes on the status of Emerald Flare, former fire elemental turned unicorn pony by as yet unknown means.

Preliminary examinations suggest that Emerald Flare is now a healthy unicorn mare of twenty-three to twenty-eight years of age, aside from the possible exceptions noted below.

Tests of Emerald’s new unicorn magic have proven interesting so far. Firstly, Emerald seems incapable of even the most basic of levitation spells, and when she attempts to do so, instead the objects targeted have a tendency to burst into flames. In addition, Emerald has displayed the ability to use her magic to manipulate and control flames in interesting ways, having displayed the ability to incite rapid growth, shrink, or even douse flames with her magical abilities, though Emerald did express great distaste of the latter. While somewhat unusual, I’m willing to attribute these abilities to Emerald’s new Cutie Mark and the special talent that comes with it.

As for her inability to levitate objects, Emerald has expressed no great distress, stating, and I quote: “I never lost the ability to levitate things, I just gained the ability to set things on fire from a distance.” And, as far as everyday life goes, I do believe Emerald will be able to manage just fine manipulating objects with her hooves and mouth like any other non-unicorn pony.

Emerald has had no physical difficulties with drinking water, and seems to react normally to consuming it, though she has still expressed an aversion to the substance in general. I particular, Emerald has expressed an extreme aversion to learning how to swim and walking in the rain. I do not possess the proper qualifications for a complete psychological evaluation, but, In my amatuer view, I’d diagnose Emerald with mild Auquaphobia.

The only other unusual aspect I could find in my examination is that Emerald seems to be perpetually running a mild temperature, stabilizing at around 102 degrees fahrenheit rather than the typical 99 to 101.5 degrees fahrenheit. Emerald, however, has expressed no discomfort and displays no other symptoms of illness, though I might suggest she be vaccinated against common equestrian diseases sooner rather than later, just in case.

Provided these peculiarities are taken into public record, if for no other reason to keep any future doctors from panicking at her unusual state, I see no reason that Emerald’s request for equestrian citizenship cannot be granted post haste.

Author's Note

Well, this is it. It's not exactly a narrative ending, but it does establish a few things I'd like to keep clear moving forward. I hope you all like this story! let me know what things you might want me to change if/when I take another pass for the second draft.

Entry 1: A list of greivances for those whom it may concern.

Hello. My name is Emerald Flare.

I don’t really see what need I have for a name, but the ponies keeping me seem very insistent on my using it as much as possible.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m entertaining their idea of writing everything down; well, I do, actually, I’m bored. Put it on the list of things I’m going to be taking vengeance for once I escape from this prison they’ve constructed for me.

So, let’s take this from the top; Hello. My sparking name is Emerald Flare, and I’m a fire elemental.

You probably haven’t met many fire elementals if you’re reading this. There’s several reasons for that; for one, fire elementals normally can’t read. Secondly, fire elementals hail from a different plane of existence than the one I currently occupy. Thirdly, on the rare occasion that a fire elemental is summoned into the physical world, they’re not interested in making friends; just burning everything in sight like nature intended.

Fire is the natural state of the universe, you know. It’s something all of us elementals knew from the second we were born, and don’t you let any of the other kinds of elementals tell you differently. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. So next time you complain about someone setting fire to your stuff, just know that they’re just returning it to its most natural state.

Maybe somepony should have told that to the ponies who summoned me.

The pony most directly responsible for plucking me from my realm is a unicorn named Starlight Glimmer. I shall describe her quite thoroughly so that, in the remote chance that any sane creature ever reads this record, that she shall be properly punished for her crimes against the truest state of the universe and me in particular. She’s a pink unicorn with a Purple mane and blue streaks through it that are the color of a good, solid lightning strike. The mark on her flank is a four-pointed purple star under a few wisps of lightning-blue smoke.

She is not to be mistaken for the pony second-most responsible for my current predicament, Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle is a purple Alicorn with a dark mane with pink streaks through it. The mark on her flank is a six-pointed purple star flanked by five smaller, white ones. Yes, I know they sound quite similar in appearance, but if you plan to punish them appropriately it is very important that Starlight gets it worse, though they both ought to get something severe. I’m thinking of third-degree burns.

Now please allow me to enumerate their recent crimes in detail;

Firstly, Starlight pulled me from my own world. This, by itself, would probably not have distressed me, but I do believe it should be noted that she is the reason any of this stuff happened at all. According to Twilight, she was doing some sort of “Magical research”. She tried to explain to me why the unicorn had been delving into the plane of fire, but most of it was using big words that just went right over my head. I’m inclined to believe that half of it was simply pure gibberish designed to confuse me. Let’s just establish that Starlight, did in fact, summon me. This fact is not disputed by any party.

Secondly, Starlight and Twilight were both party to preventing me from carrying out my duty to the universe; that is, returning everything in it to its most natural state, as detailed earlier. I mean, I’m not sure what these ponies expected me to do in a library full of extremely flammable paper, but I’m extremely surprised that “burning everything in sight” never crossed their minds. It is the most logical course of action, after all.

Starlight was the first to attempt to contain me with her magic. May I just say that these early attempts were pitiful and hilarious. The force fields were probably designed to contain physical entities, not truly enlightened beings such as I. I was able to torch a good third of the library this way with practically no resistance. Let it be known that I did my duty to the best of my ability.

Soon afterward, Twilight entered the scene. To her credit, she only tried a physical forcefield once. After that, She switched to more effective methods of containment, though still not enough to keep me from torching a few more books while she was working up to it.

This leads us to the third and most heinous crime of Starlight Glimmer, and the most difficult to explain. You see, while Twilight was struggling to contain me, Starlight compiled a… different kind of spell. Not even Twilight could tell me what it involved exactly, but I can describe it’s effects well enough, since I am currently experiencing them first-hand. Basically, the spell has wrapped me in some sort of metal shell shaped like a pony; Twilight called it “armor” but I think “prison” would be more to the point. It prevents me from changing my shape, expanding, or burning anything outside it’s confines. Any elementals reading this will know what I mean when I say how frustrating it is to be confined to a single form; That’s not just inconvenient, it basically removes an Elemental’s main way of doing… anything, really.

Oh, also I can no longer fly, either. Let that sink in for a moment. Truly, this unicorn’s cruelty knows no bounds.

It’s not all bad, I suppose. I can still move in this form, even if it does take ten times the effort to do literally anything. Somepony reading this might think that’s an exaggeration; it’s really not. I used to weigh literally nothing, now I’m lugging around a metal suit wherever I go. If anything, I’m understating it. Moving anywhere is tricky, too. This suit is heavy and ill-shapen enough that just pushing in a given direction won’t do anything, you actually have to get your non-shape-changing limbs under you and walk. I’m not very good at that yet, and Allspark forbid I’m in this form long enough to get used to it.

I really hope I have adequately expressed how utterly useless this form is so that the unicorn responsible, Starlight Glimmer, may be adequately punished for it. Of course, the worst bit is yet to come;

A few creatures reading this are probably wondering at this point; “So what? All you need to do is break the thing and you’ll be free!” And I would agree with you, if not for the final, diabolical effect of the spell.

See, I’m not just trapped in this shell, I’m bound to it, somehow. That means that no matter how many cracks emerge, I can’t leave. Not only that, but if it breaks enough, my essence will break down with it and scatter to the winds. That’s right, I’ll straight-up die. I’m among mortals, now, which is probably the worst part about any of this.

Again, to her credit, Twilight has promised to try and figure out how to return me to my original form, but she doesn’t seem too keen on doing anything before I agree not to burn anything else.

As if.

Which brings us to my current predicament; My shell-prison is imprisoned in one of the many guest rooms of Twilight’s castle, which has been stripped of anything remotely flammable. They’ve erected a forcefield to cut the room in half, cutting me off from the door. They’ve also closed off the windows so I can’t escape that way, though I’m pretty high-up, so this form might not survive the fall anyway. They occasionally feed me a log through my mouth-hole to keep my spark burning, which is enough for me to stay alive, but hardly enough to satisfy a true agent of entropy like myself.

So… that’s it, I guess. Twilight suggested I write down a record of my time here; it’s supposed to be therapeutic, or educational, or something. I don’t actually know how to read or write, so there’s this little dragon guy named Spike writing down everything I say. It’s probably just as well; If I had a paper in my own hooves right now I’d probably just consume it with extreme prejudice.

Bye. Hopefully you will never hear from me ever again because I will have escaped and melted this place and everypony in it into slag.

No, Spike, I don’t mind if you repeat that to Twilight.

Author's Note

so this is the first story I'm writing where I have no idea how it's going to end. I'm just gonna keep writing until... something. I dunno.

Entry 6: Boredom

Princess Celestia wants me to make some Friends.

Well, that’s idiotic. Even when I ignore the fact that nobody here is real ‘friend’ material, How do I make friends trapped in this room twenty-four-hours a day? I mean, I can’t just ask to be let out.

Shut up, Spike, it’s not that simple.

…it is?

Oh. I see. Terms and Conditions apply. No burning ponies’ stuff? No deal. I like burning stuff, thank you very much. Welp, It looks like unless Celestia wants to personally bring all my potential friends into my cell, I won’t be befriending anypony, thank you very much.

…

Ugh, but I’m sooo BORED!

Sparkle's Transcript 1

Transcript of interaction with subject “Emerald Flare”, 6 august, 1120
Stenographer in attendance: Spike

Note: it’s been thirteen hours since the subject “Emerald Flare” has cooperated with any efforts to communicate. They refuse to consume any more sustenance, and their heat levels are dangerously low. I fear that any attempt to approach will prompt them to attack, causing them to use whatever little heat they have left, but doing nothing may have the same end result. Hopefully I can get through to them, somehow.

Begin Transcript;

Twilight Sparkle: “Emerald?”

No response from the subject. Subject is laying on the ground, in a fetal position, facing away from the door.

TS: “Emerald, please talk to me.”

Emerald Flare: “Leave me alone.”

TS: “Starlight told me what she told you. I’m sorry.”

No response from the subject.

TS: “What are you going to do?”

EF: “Die. In fact, I’m rather busy with that at the moment, if you’d care to leave me to it.”

TS: “I can’t let that happen.”

EF: ”Sure you can. It’s easy.”

TS: “Why do you want to go back, Emerald? In your journals you said you didn’t have any friends back home, I’m not sure if you’d have anything resembling a house or a family…”

EF: “Why do you care?”

TS: “I can’t help you if I don’t understand. Please help me to help you.”

No response from the subject.

TS: “Emerald-”

EF: “I’m thinking.”

Subject was unresponsive for approximately three minutes.

EF: “Back home, I had a purpose. I suppose you’ve read about that in my journals, too?”

TS: “You talked about ‘the truest state of matter’.”

EF: “Fire is the best that any of us can be. It’s sacred, in that way.”

No response from Twilight Sparkle.

EF: “You flesh-things don’t understand. You never have. Probably never will.”

TS: “No, I guess not. I’m sorry. But please, I don’t want you to die because of our mistakes.”

EF: “Why do you care? I’ll be out of your mane soon enough.”

TS: “Please don’t say that.”

EF: “You can’t force me to get better.”

TS: “No… I guess not. If you’re determined to be miserable you can stay that way for as long as you want. But please, I’m trying to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way; we can figure out a way for you to be happy.”

EF: “How?”

TS: “I don’t know yet. It’s something we’ll have to figure out together, but we can’t even begin figuring it out unless you keep yourself alive.”

No response from the subject.

TS: “Emerald, please…”

EF: “...How far are you willing to go for the life of someone you don’t know, who you don’t even like, Who doesn’t like you? Someone, who, under any sort of sane circumstances, you wouldn’t even want to share a physical plane with?”

TS: “All the way, Emerald. As far as you’ll let me.”

EF: “That makes no sense. Ponies make no sense.”

Author's Note

I tried experimenting with the format a bit here, since Emerald wasn't in the mood to dictate. Let me know what you thought.

Also, I had to up this story's rating to include 'Suicide/Self harm' in the tags.

Entry 14: Oven Mitts

Before leaving yesterday, Pinkie left me with a gift. A pair of oven mitts. Twilight says they’re industrial-grade, so they definitely won’t burn when I put them on.

I… I don’t know what’s going on in my mind right now. I…

Maybe my confusion can be summed up like this:

I don’t have to burn everything I touch.

Fire is me. Fire is my identity, and yet… its now possible for me to interact with certain flammable objects without destroying them. Do I want that? Is interacting with things without burning them something I can see myself doing in the future?

It’s one thing for me to leave a stack of papers alone in my room without giving them a second thought. It’s entirely another to pick them up, study them, maybe use them, and then put them back down again no worse for wear. How is that even possible?

I mean, with oven mitts, obviously, but…

Sweetie Belle is probably going to be excited that I can finally try her ideas of drawing and painting. I don’t know if I have the self-restraint to finish anything without burning it…

Scratch that. I definitely don’t have the self-restraint for that sort of thing. It is un-possible. Cannot be done. Sorry, Sweetie, The oven mitts only theoretically expand what sort of jobs I can do; in reality I’m the same bright flame underneath that I’ve always been. One thing is for sure; I won’t be interacting non-destructively with any flammable objects any time soon.

Entry 16: Starlight and I are too tired to think up a good title.

Starlight came in to check on me today. Apparently we’re both still recovering from the incident yesterday. She was wrapped in a blanket and still shivering slightly. I was still downing logs to try and warm myself up. Neither of us were happy. Both of us were still alive.

Starlight sat down across from me. Neither of us said anything for a very long time.

“I really am sorry.” she eventually said.

“I know.” I said back. Neither of us had looked at the other.

Another long moment of silence.

“Can you forgive me?” She asked.

“No. not yet.” I said. “Can you forgive me?”

Another long silence.

Starlight spoke again.

“I have deprived you of so much more than I thought possible. I’m so sorry.”

“You said that already.” I said back.

Starlight put her face in her hooves. “I don’t know if I can ever say it enough. Last time I made a mistake I was lucky enough to have very forgiving enemies. Maybe I still deserve to be shunned by them. Sometimes, when I call Twilight my friend, it just feels like a lie.”

“I know how you feel.” I said, somewhat sarcastically.

“I’m sorry for that, too.” She replied. “I didn’t mean to burden you with my whole life’s story, I just needed to somehow make you understand that I was sorry.”

“I think I understand that, too.” I said. “I still hate you, though. I don’t think I want to; it’s exhausting. How do I stop?”

Another long silence.

“I don’t know.” Starlight said. “I stopped hating Twilight because… I knew that continuing to hate her would deal damage to equestria, and… to myself. To everypony who knew me. And… maybe to forgive her I needed to forgive myself.”

“That cuts a bit close to home right now.” I said.

Starlight gave a humorless chuckle. “Yeah… sorry about that.”

I took another deep breath and spoke.

“Starlight, I think i’d like to start treating you like a friend, whether or not either of us deserve it. Would you consent to that much?”

I think I heard a wet tear fall to the floor.

“Yes.” she said. “Yes, I would like that very much.”

Entry 23: I'm so MAD right now...

Emerald Flare…

Emerald…

“Will you just SHUT UP ALREADY!”

I threw the kite Starlight had made for me at the window where the voice was coming from. It hit the wall and tumbled lightly to the floor. I took a look a second later, realizing I had damaged it.

“Sorry, Starlight. That’s just… getting on my nerves.” I said to myself. I’d been hearing the calls more and more often since Twilight’s attempt at returning me home, and it was beginning to grate. I figured whatever was calling must have wanted me to come to them, and it was coming from somewhere in the Everfree forest.

Oh yes, that sounds like a great idea; let’s follow some creepy voices into one of the most dense, monster-infested, flammable woods in equestria and hope they have good intentions.

Might be worth getting this sparking voice out of my head, though.

If you couldn’t tell, I’ve been in a foul mood in general since yesterday. Maybe it was just me getting so close to coming home, but… I’m just… angry, right now. Everything terrible about my situation seems so fresh now, like I had a healing wound and somepony has just opened it again.

I shouldn’t blame Twilight, but… it’s hard to know where to steer all this anger. I can’t… shouldn’t blame Starlight either; her and I have both experienced enough grief on each other's behalf for that. I really, really shouldn’t blame Pinkie or Fluttershy, but… Let’s just say I’m too mad to see anypony right now. Pinkie came by to see if I was alright after hearing about yesterday. After some light pestering, I snapped at her. I literally snapped my jaws and tried to bite her. The look of horror on her face was enough to snap me out of it, but… I hadn’t seen something like that on her face since my second day. It wasn’t something I’d hoped to repeat. After that, I considered asking Twilight to put my forcefield back up again, but… I’ll just have to deal with it. I don’t want to backslide into a caged animal like I was on my first few days.

I’m very close, though. I’m constantly feeling like I’m a hair-trigger away from not caring anymore.

I don’t think I’ll be ready for any outings outside the castle anytime soon.

Entry 24: Ashes

This morning I found myself in Spike’s room.

I turned everything in it into ashes.

His pillows, his bed, a few of his comic books, even, were all gone.

It’s all fine gray dust.

He’s fine, of course. Physically, that is. Twilight is currently taking his place as my scribe while he mourns and replaces all of his lost things. I think there were a few personal crochet projects I incinerated in there.

I… don’t know what happened. Twilight’s disappointed; I can see it on her face. Sparks, I’m disappointed, and I’m the one who did it.

I’m… going insane, aren’t I? I’m finally snapping from everything. I’m angry. I’m guilty, I’m going insane thinking that Twilight or one of her friends is going to be the next thing I feel like incinerating on a whim. I can’t…

Twilight, I need the forcefield, right now.

I said RIGHT NOW!

Addendum: by Twilight Sparkle.

Emerald Flare has ceased all intelligent communication and become inconsolable; she has been contained via forcefield, but is attempting to damage her cell in any way she can. Luckily she can be contained safely, for now, but I fear for her long-term health if she continues like this.

Just what is going on here?

Author's Note

I'm probably just gonna let this stew for a day or two, see what people come up with in the comments.

Entry 25: It's getting cramped in here

I think more went wrong with Twilight’s attempt to get me home than we thought.

Write quickly, I’m not sure how much longer I can maintain control. I’m no longer the only elemental in here. This armor is no longer just my body. He must have come back through your portal before it closed.

Does he have a name? No, no he doesn’t. Not yet, anyway. You can call him whatever.

Blaze. Sure, call him Blaze.

He’s still hurting, like I was when I was first torn from my world, but he’s… less diplomatic. He wants this world to burn. He might even try to burst this armor to do it.

How didn’t I notice until this moment, you ask? Well, that’s… a tricky question. Fire elementals communicate through an exchange of thoughts and ideas; something that can very easily be mistaken for an internal monologue if you’re not expecting it. All that complaining and anger? That was him. It must have been; it was too sudden to be natural, I just didn’t see it at the time.

I’m sorry I didn’t think of it sooner, Twilight. I was… distracted.

I don’t feel very well right now. Blaze isn’t very… efficient… with his energy. Our energy. I’m hesitant to ask for more wood, though, because he might just take that extra energy and spend it all trying to get out again.

I hate to say it, but maybe it’s best to keep us at minimum heat. Just feed us scraps of paper or something, for now. That way I won’t be able to move much, but Blaze won’t, either. We can’t risk him damaging this body, or worse, actually succeeding in trying to escape.

Oh, my stomach hurts. I feel sick… and cold… I’m going to have to stop soon; it takes work to keep myself under control…

I don’t like the chances of me getting out of this alive. It’s been hard enough for Starlight and Twi to get one elemental out of this armor, but now there’s two, and one of them isn’t friendly.

Twilight, you need to be prepared to defend yourself, just in case. Blaze won’t hesitate to destroy you if he gets a chance, and I might not be able to restrain him when the time comes. Keep this forcefield up, no matter what he… or I… might say. I cant-

Open this door. let me ou- AUGH!