The Kingdom of Discordby The Pirate PrinceChaptersPrologueChapter One: Canterlot's Tenth AnniversaryChapter Two: Discord Comes to CanterlotChapter Three: Canterlot Castle ChaosChapter Four: Equestria's New RegimePrologueThe Kingdom of Discord By The Pirate Prince No pony has a complete understanding of where spirits come from, or why they exist. These mysterious beings defy the world's natural laws and exist beyond mortals' understanding of magic. Their interactions with the world and each other have mystified ponies since the dawn of time. So few are willing to burden themselves with the affairs of mortals, we may never have a complete understanding of these “gods.“ Some spirits have existed since the beginning of the world. Others are know to have existed long before that, having freed themselves from this reality or have been hidden away, dormant, waiting to return. Some are born when new aspects of the world appear or are discovered. Others come into being simply through the belief of lesser beings. However, there has only been one recorded case where a spirit was born into the world because it embodied something that didn't exist, something that had always been present before then, a void that needed filling. Ten years had past since the founding of the pony nation of Equestria. The noble unicorns, intellectual masters of magic. The brave pegasi, mighty warriors of weather manipulation. The strong and skilled, agricultural earth Ponies. These three great pony tribes came together to form a single society. Though the three tribes had cooperated in the past, they had always held each other in contempt, each seeing their fellow ponies' cultures only as rivals to their own. But now that seemed to have passed and Equestria was enjoying a golden age of peace and prosperity. Old disputes had been settled and all ponies joined together in the worship of the sun and moon spirits, the only spirits in the world to take the form of ponies. It was too good to last. Starting from Canterlot castle, stretching across Equestria and through the still thawing lands of the three tribes, there was a road. While the Canterlot end was paved with stone, it quickly became a simple dirt track. Though it became the most walked road in Equestria, nopony would traverse its entire length. Following this road would lead to the gates of a second castle, a castle few ponies dared to enter. On the eve of the country's tenth anniversary, a grey-coated pony walked this road. He began his journey in the wintry lands, with neither cold nor wind slowing his pace. As night came, the staving windigos descended upon him, but quickly fled from his presence in fearful panic. As he walked, he barely noticed the landscape changing from cold and lifeless to warm and green. All that occupied his mind was that feeling. He knew he had the power to reach his destination instantly, but he didn't care. Everything, including that hideous, revolting feeling was new to him, and he was savoring every moment. Every step in this new world. This world of magic and laughter, of generosity and kindness, reliability and honesty. This world of harmony. Chapter One: Canterlot's Tenth AnniversaryThe sun rose over Equestria, pushed through the heavens by unicorn magic. As the morning came to a close, the ponies of Canterlot gathered in the streets and the castle grounds. Today was special, for not only were they celebrating the passing of Equestria's first decade, but at midday, the wedding of the Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt was to be held. This union between a unicorn and a pegasus was to be the first mixed marriage since the three tribes were first founded. With the earth pony, former-chancellor Puddinghead performing the ceremony, it was to be a great symbol of ponies coming together in harmony. Wonderbolt stood on his bedroom balcony, watching the assembled crowd, thinking of the situations leading to his engagement. Commander Hurricane's younger sister, Cloudfeather, had died during childbirth, leaving Hurricane as the colt's sole guardian. As he was growing up, Hurricane rarely spoke of his father, who died in battle under her command, shortly before his birth, something that Cloudfeather never really forgave her for. Wonderbolt remembered back to the day the letter arrived over five years ago, informing him of his future. Stationed at a fort by the western boarder, Wonderbolt was a high ranking officer for his age. Well respected by the rank and file, the news that he was engaged and was to pack up and move to the capital was met with sincere congratulations, regrets that he was leaving and joking advise for him “not to turn into a pampered prince pony.” While in some ways he was an adult, he was still young. Hurricane was the head of the family and since he had no other romantic relationships, she was well within her right to agree to an arranged wedding, which was not uncommon among the ruling elite. This didn't stop Wonderbolt confronting her when he returned to Canterlot. After an intense argument Hurricane told him that the decision was final, that the country needed this and that it was his duty to make sacrifices for his people, something that she had taught him since birth. His people... Wonderbolt smiled, no longer surprised that he included unicorns and earth ponies in that statement. As for Princess Platinum, they had gotten close over the years, he had to admit. The two of them had first met during the anniversary celebration five years ago. With everypony staring at them, it had been awkward to say the least. He had spent most of the evening quietly standing to attention while she tried to make conversation with anypony that would come near them. But, as the years passed and they were forced to spend more and more time with each other, the walls between them eventually broke down. When Hurricane had died during a campain against the the Diamond Dog slavers three years ago, only a few metres away from him, Platinum had been an invaluable confidant in dealing with his grief. When the Generals' Council voted that he'd be promoted to replace her, again Platinum was there, willing to listen to his fears and self-doubts. Bolt wondered if he would have fallen in love with her if the situation was different, if they were allowed to meet without the political pressure. A sharp knock at the door signified that the ceremony was about to start. His mind snapped back to reality; replacing his helmet, he completed the formal dress uniform that had been polished to a mirror shine. He gave one last look over the castle grounds, focusing on Commander Hurricane's memorial. He could see a group of ponies, unicorns, pegasi and earth, standing on its steps, talking and laughing with each other. Major General of the Equestrian Army, Commander Wonderbolt sighed, turned and marched out of the room. When Wonderbolt entered the chapel, all eyes turned to him. He smartly nodded in acknowledgement of Puddinghead's excessive wave and marched to join her at the altar. He stood at attention to her side, but allowed himself to give the best mare, Clover, a warm smile. She felt very out of place wearing the expensive dress and was looking forward to being able to change into something more practical. Still, she was the obvious choice, she had become a close friend to both of them, and she did inadvertently give the idea of having the wedding to the Unicorn King five years ago. Clover quickly suppressed her memories of when the princess found out. At least she seemed happy about it now. The groom looked over the crowd, who had begun talking among themselves again. Among the family members, military personal and friends were several important guests. 'The Queen of the Plains,' wife of the Zebra King was present along with two of the Minotaur Overlord's sons, tended to by a number of their servants. The music started up and everypony went silent. As the flowerfillies entered the chapel, Wonderbolt closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He opened them again and gasped. She looked divine walking towards him, dressed in her white wedding dress embroidered with the metal of her namesake. Accompanied by her father, the Unicorn King, Wonderbolt thought she walked more gracefully than he could ever achieve in flight. When they had drawn level with him, her father stepped back into the crowd. The bride and groom glanced at each other; she gave him a sweet smile, which he, unsuccessfully, tried to return. Platinum stifled a giggle and they both turned back to Puddinghead. “Mares, gentlecolts and esteemed guests, though I notice the Griffons couldn't bother sending someone. It's not like it's difficult for them, they do have wings after all.” She cleared her throat. Wonderbolt suddenly had very mixed feeling about this. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt. Who would have thought that these two would end up getting married? Well everyone did five years ago when it was announced, but who would have thought they'd click so well? I'll tell you who, me, that's who. I remember talking to Princess Platinum the day after they first met. All she could talk about was how rude she thought he was. Even when I tried to change the subject, she just wouldn't stop. So I said to myself, I said-” “Pudding, sweetie. Maybe that sort of thing would be best saved for after the ceremony,” the princess advised; the sniggering had grown to be very noticeable. Wonderbolt now felt a bit more at ease. Puddinghead was always good at making ponies feel relaxed through sheer force of silliness, although he did want to hear the rest of the story. He'd like to learn more of Platinum's first thoughts about him. Former-chancellor Puddinghead grinned, refusing to let the interruption faze her. “This union is a momentous occasion. For the first time in history, ponies of different tribes are coming together in marriage. Unless, of course, some sneaky someponies have already done it in secret and didn't tell us. Then wouldn't this all be embarrassing. But still, now everypony knows you don't have to keep your love a secret, so isn't that just wonderful? The rings if you please.” The ring bearer was a young colt named Silver Feather, who was the son of Wonderbolt's aunt on his father's side, Corporal Pansy. On the pillow was a small ring that the groom placed on bride's horn and a larger ring that was placed on his foreleg. “I now pronounce you mare and colt.” The crowd cheered and applauded. The minotaur guests loudly and rhythmically beat their chest, much to the surprise of their neighbors. The bride and groom shared their first kiss as a married couple and moved to the chapel balcony, joined by Clover and Puddinghead. The pair of them waved to the crowds as they erupted with celebration. The royal band started up and showers of confetti in fell from the towers and flying pegasi. For Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt, it was the happiest moment of their lives. Chapter Two: Discord Comes to CanterlotThe celebrations continued for a few moments before coming to an unexpected end. Pony ears strained and turned, searching for the mysterious sound that had no obvious source. The sound itself shouldn't have been unusual, hooves coming together in applause. But it was distinct over the noise of the crowd and seemed to be everywhere, like somepony was clapping was right beside both ears at once. Canterlot quietened, leaving the slow, sarcastic clap the only sound in the city. Eventually, that too ceased. "I suppose congratulations are in order.” A smarmy voice spoke up from the rear of the balcony. The group turned to face the grey coated pony leaning back on the castle wall beside the door. Wonderbolt stepped forward, wings outstretched with fire in his eyes. “Who are you?! Where are my men?!” There should have been an honor guard on the balcony. Had they just disappeared, or had he simply been so distracted that he hadn't notice their absence? “Oh relax. They're fine.” replied the blank-flanked stranger, standing up and moving between the bride and groom. “As for me?” He raised himself onto his back legs, forelegs outspread. “I! AM!” A moment passed, then another, and another. “Wha-” began Wonderbolt. “DISCORD!” Impossible lightning struck from the cloudless sky. Ponies' turned from the intense light and covered their ears from the deafening boom. Where the mystery pony had once stood, now was the draconequus form of the chaos spirit. He stretched his arms then leaned to the princess. “What do you think? Too much?” Without waiting for a response, Discord jumped onto the battlements of the balcony. With a flash of light, a wireless microphone appeared in his eagle claw hand, despite electronic audio equipment not being invented yet. “Ladies and gent-” He moved the microphone away from his mouth. “Wait a minute.” “Mares and Gentlecolts!” He began again, his voice echoing through the city and over the countryside. “Today you came from out of your little homes to celebrate a change in your ruling class. Little did you know how big change this day would really bring. Rejoice, for Discord, spirit of, well, discord, has come bring fun and chaos to your boring little lives. In celebration, everyone take the day off.” The spirit paused for dramatic effect, spoiled by Puddinghead. “Um, everypony already has the day off.” She explained. “Oh.” replied Discord, legitimately surprised. “In that case, have tomorrow off as well.” From the crowd, a pony's solitary cheer was quickly extinguished by the glares of his neighbors. The microphone disappeared into the state of non-existence it had came and the spirit teleported back to the rear of the balcony. “Well then, lots to do, can't stand around here all day. Platinum, Boltie, sorry I can't stay, but I've got a throne room to decorate. Still, tradition is tradition.” Another flash and the chimera disappeared from the balcony. A second flash made the group look up to see the a small mountain of rice appear above them. It hovered, suspended in the air for a brief couple of seconds before enveloping the bride and groom. Wonderbolt pulled himself out of the mess, either no one had told Discord the rice wasn't supposed to be cooked or he just didn't care. He shook his head, dislodging rice, peas and cooked prawns off his helmet, and turned to the two ponies helping his wife out of the mass of food. “Clover, get up to the libary and find out everything there is to know about this thing. Councilor Puddinghead..” “Former-Chancellor Puddinghead.” She interrupted. For some reason, the councilor preferred being referred to by her former title. Everypony had long accepted it as one of her eccentricities. “Former-Chancellor Puddinghead,” Wonderbolt corrected himself, “ you're with me. I'm going to confront this Discord, and I want it to be backed up by the authority of a council member.” He turned to his wife. “Platinum, please stay here and keep an eye on the guests. Especially the foreign representatives, we don't want an international incident.” “I'm a council member too.” Platinum argued. Wonderbolt sighed and kissed his bride, “Please Princess. I don't want be dragging you into danger.” “Oh, so it's perfectly fine to drag me into danger, huh?” Puddinghead interrupted, her voice layered with pretend outrage. “It's not your wedding day.” Wonderbolt replied in good humor. He turned and marched back into the castle. He was greeted by a group of guards running down the aisle. “Sergeant, get a search party together, we've got four missing guards. The rest of you, follow me.” The Princess watched her husband leave the room before snapping out of her daze. “Well, I'd better get our guests to safety.” “Princess,” Clover spoke up for the first time since the ceremony, “if you find Cookie, can you send her up to the library. I'll need her help.“ Smart Cookie was Puddinghead's former assistant and Clover's best friend. While unicorn scribes had gone into Equestria to record everything they could learn from the other races, Cookie had volunteered be acting head librarian. She found the job a welcome change to dealing with the eccentricities of the former-chancellor and decided to stay permanently. Wonderbolt led his men through the corridors of the castle. “He said he had a 'throne room to decorate.' The council chamber would be a good place to start.” The Equestrian government was headed by a council of six ponies, together representing Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth Ponies, The Science and Magic Society, The Military and The Industrial Union. A Unicorn corporal used his magic to bust the door open and the party moved into the Council Chamber. The chairs sat undisturbed in around the semicircular table. “All clear, Commander.” Wonderbolt turned to exit the room. “What are all of you doing on the ceiling?” A voice called out from above them. They all looked up to see the chaos spirit sitting, upside down, on a large, ornate throne made from gold. “We're not on the ceiling, silly, you are. There aren't any doors up there.” Puddinghead giggled. Discord looked up at his feet and then to the floor. “Ah!” The throne dropped like a stone, with Discord still sitting in it. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!.” Inches before he collided with the stone floor, there was a flash of light, and Discord was sitting on his throne, secure on the ground. With his hands over his eyes; he looked through his fingers (or rather, the eagle claw and lion paw equivalent of fingers.) Moving his hands from his face, he stood up, brushing himself with his hands. “That never happened, got that?” Puddinghead broke the silence by falling to the floor in laughter. Wonderbolt stepped over her. “What are you doing here? What is your purpose here?” Discord teleported behind the commander. “What do you think? It's rather fancy, but I don't think it's really me.” A flash and the throne was replaced with a mountain of skulls. Another, and it was replaced by a three legged stool. A fish bowl, a large blue ball. Finally, he settled on a large, red die with white spots; it had two faces showing four and a single face showing 7.5. He teleported himself onto his new throne. “Well, that will do for now. Sorry, what were you saying?” "Who are you? What's going on? AND WHERE ARE MY DAMN SOLDIERS!" Wonderbolt's voice echoed through the domed chamber, patience was not one of his greatest strengths. "Ok, alright. No need to shout." The spirit removed the ears from his head and threw them unceremoniously over his shoulder where they promptly exploded. He then reached into a small briefcase that had appeared by his feet and pulled out a replacement pair. "Like I said, I'm Discord. If that's not enough, may I suggest you invest in a dictionary." He spoke while replacing his ears. "What?" Discord stopped rearranging his head and sighed. A flash of light, and a large, open dictionary appeared in his hands. Simultaneously, a monocle appeared over his left eye and a pipe appeared in his mouth. "Discord.. Discord.. Disclosure, disco, disconnect. Ah, here we are. Discord: A lack of agreement or harmony." He looked back at the ponies then looked back down to the book. "Also, it's a combination of musical sounds that strikes the ear very harshly. Huh, I didn't know that." He looked back again to the ponies. "I'm a spirit, here to rule over your pony kingdom, bringing with me disharmony and chaos. Is that simple enough for you to understand now?" "Why us? What did we ever do to you?" "What did you do?" Discord laughed. "You created me! I was born because of you. This city, this country! Did you really think you could upset the status quo without consequence? Ponies, coming together, living together. You changed the world, and the world changed in retaliation." While speaking, Discord stood up from his die throne and paced towards his new subjects. "Only, it would appear that not every reaction is equal to the action. And now Chaos will reign and I will rule." "No. You will not." Wonderbolt replied, his face inches from the draconequus' "Equestria is a free country, and we will not succumb to your tyranny." With a strong flap of his wings, the pegasus rocketed his helmeted head into the spirit's face. Clover was surprised to find the door to the library open and the lamps lit. “Hello? Anypony in here?” “Clover, over here.” Smart Cookie called over from behind a bookshelf. “When that thing said it was a spirit, I figured you'd race up here to look it up.” Cookie explained once Clover had telekinetically relived her of the stack of books she'd been carrying. “Cookie, you're a star!” She placed the books on the desk and split them into two piles. “Lets get to work.” “Sure thing CC.” “I told you to stop calling me that.” Clover the Clever replied automatically, her eyes fixed on the pages of her first book. Chapter Three: Canterlot Castle Chaos"Nothing! Three hours we're been up here and we've found nothing about Discord." Clover was resisting the temptation to smack herself on the side of head with her copy of "Spirts o thee wolrd," by Silver Shade the Misspeller. "Come on Clover, look at the bright side. If there's nothing recorded on Discord, that means you can be the first to write about him." The Clover's face immediately lit up. "Oh my gosh, I better start making some notes." She rushed into the nearby store room and returned with rolls of parchment, quills and bottles of ink. Placing them on a nearby desk, she started transcribing all the thoughts and theories she had had since seeing the spirit. Cookie sighed and flicked through the book Clover had left behind. She looked up at the sound of the princess entering the library, "This is infuriating. I can't find her anyw-" She stood on the spot. "Oh, there you are Cookie." "Yes princess?" "Umm, nothing. Carry on." "Your majesty! There she is!" The princess spun on the spot and shooed the guard that had been accompanying her away. "Shhh. Go call off the search." When the guard had left, Platinum took a deep breath and made her way to the pair of them. "So how is the research going?" "Fine. It's fine." replied Clover, far to distracted with trying to remember the exact shade of gray the spirit's head had been to pay attention. "Err, actually, we haven't really found out anything. We can't find any reference to this Discord anywhere." "You won't!" came a voice from the doorway. Wonderbolt limped into the library, his blue coat was covered in bright pink paint, flowers grew from the ends of his tail hairs and his helmet had been turned into cardboard. Platinum rushed to his side, he put a foreleg around her, helping him keep off his sprained ankle. "Apparently, he's only been around for a few days." Cookie gave Clover a nudge to tell her to pay attention to what she had just heard. "A few days? Where did he come from?" the Unicorn asked. Wonderbolt sat down next to her. Once Cookie had removed the nearby books in case he started dripping paint on them, he told them what happened. "- when we found the missing guards. The doctors think it'll take them a few weeks to recover. Lucky we found them when we did, another hour and we might not have even recognized them." "Wait, so where's Puddinghead?" Platinum asked. She had helped heal his ankle and had finally finished picking the flowers out of his tail. "Oh, she's still with him. They seem to be getting along." "How did that happen?" asked Clover without looking up, frantically writing down her notes. "Well, it started when he tried turning her head into actual pudding," Two of the ponies gasped, the other was busy writing and wouldn't be shocked until several minutes later. "Is she alright?" Cookie asked. "Yeah. For some reason it just covered her head with pudding instead of replacing it. After the fourth attempt he started getting annoyed and filled the whole room with the stuff." Memories flashed in his mind, his eyes unfocused and fear crept into his voice. "I've never seen anything eat like that before." He shock his head. "Once she cleared that mess up, the spirit started laughing. Last time I saw them they were discussing the merits of various deserts." "Well, maybe if they become friends she'll be able to explain why we don't want him ruling over us." "You know what Discord? You're alright." Puddinghead and Discord were lying on their bellies, drawing on the throne room floor with a box of crayons Discord had wished into existence. Her drawing of a cat had come to life and climbed on top of the main door. Discord's butterfly had actually detached itself from the floor and was flying around the room, breathing fire at the curtains. "Thank you my dear. Thirsty?" He stood up and two glasses appeared in his hand. He stepped over his throne, now made from three different colored dice, and filled the glasses in the strawberry milkshake waterfall he had made a few minutes ago. "Thanks." She took the glass and drank deeply, leaving a foam mustache on her lip. "So, how long are you planning on staying?" "Oh, this is just the beginning. Today I've limited myself to this room, tomorrow, I'll move on to the whole country." "Oh, well, you see. I don't think everyone will like that. Don't get me wrong, some of it's great. Only, it's all very distracting and everypony has jobs to do." "Oh yes. I suppose you know about that more than most, don't you." He sipped at his drink, the liquid emptying from the bottom. "What do you mean?" The pony placed her glass on the floor and sat up. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just saying, out of all the pony tribes, you Earth Ponies seem to do the most work. Spending all day in the fields, plowing, planting, weeding." "Yeah, but Unicorns work hard, they make up most of the doctors and scientists. And Pegasi have to look after the weather and they make up most of the army." "I suppose, but none of that is really that difficult, not like the back breaking work your kind does." Discord slumped onto his throne, the top die's spots turned into pictures of bottles. "The way I see it, as an outsider, pony society is like a pyramid: Unicorns at the top; Pegasi in the middle and Earth Ponies at the bottom." As he spoke, a five faced pyramid appeared floating in the air. It was split into three sections, each labeled with the flags of the three tribes. The Earth pony stared at it for a few moments before replying. "Even if it was true, which it isn't, that doesn't mean Earth ponies are worse than Unicorns or Pegasi, without the base, there wouldn't be a pyramid at all." "Maybe, but the great thing about chaos is that anything can happen, a pyramid can be turned on its head and still stay balanced." In a flash of light, the pyramid was upside down. "I can make food come from thin air. I can make it so your people can be free to do whatever they like." "Earth Ponies like being farmers." Puddinghead spoke quietly without her usual bounciness. "Anyway, It's getting late. Time for bed. We've got a big day tomorrow, we don't want you falling asleep while I'm making everypony's lives better, do we?" Puddinghead suddenly yawned. It was strange, a moment ago she didn't feel sleepy at all. "OK, nighty night Discord."The pony trotted out of the room and headed straight to up her chambers "Nighty night Puddinghead." Once she had closed the door behind her, Discord's throne of dice turned into a swivel chair. He spun to face the only window with its curtains still burning. He looked out over his kingdom and smiled. Chapter Four: Equestria's New RegimeIt was very late in the evening and Clover the Clever was almost finished with her interviews of Wonderbolt's soldiers about their 'battle' with Discord. "-and that's when the second dance number started." "Yes, Private Steel Wing already told me what happened." "Did he mention the-" "Yes, yes he did. In quite graphic detail actually. I don't think I want to hear it again." She shuddered briefly before wrote down another couple of notes. "Well I think that's everything corporal, you should go get some sleep." "Thank you ma'am." He gave her the best salute he could considering his injuries and exited the library for the Canterlot barracks. Clover began sorting through her notes; to her, this spirit of chaos was a fascinating mystery. She wished she could study it even closer, really test his limits. Clover started imaging herself interviewing the Draconequus, learning all about the world from a spirit's point of view. This being must know so much about the universe, maybe there could be some way to make it cooperate. Her daydreaming was cut short by an explosion that lit up the city and shook the castle. True to his word, Discord had refrained himself from truly spreading chaos across the country until the morning, and since it had just passed midnight, he decided to literally start things off with a bang. Wonderbolt was washing away the paint covering his coat in the en suite next to Platinum's bedroom. Their bedroom. "Some honeymoon," he sighed. He climbed out of the bath and grabbed a towel from the rack on the wall. After drying himself off, he walked back into the bedroom. He glanced to the door. It didn't feel right, going to bed when a hostile entity had invaded the castle; but he wouldn't be able to be an effective commander by depriving himself of sleep, and Discord didn't seem to be causing trouble for the moment. He slipped under the sheets, careful not to wake his sleeping wife. In the dim light, he watched her sleep for a few moments before closing his eyes and clearing his mind from the endless strategies and counter-maneuvers he'd been formulating against the spirit. *BOOM* The two of them bolted upright, Wonderbolt leapt to his hooves and ran out of the room. "Stay here!" he shouted back to his wife; she was too disoriented to argue. In fact, it took her a few moments to remember they were married. Seeing Wonderbolt laying next to her was quite a shock. Commander Wonderbolt galloped down the corridors to the council room; he passed a couple of guards that followed him unenthusiastically, they'd seen what had happened to the men who had been with the Commander when he'd first confronted the spirit. When they pushed on the doors to the council room, they fell from their hinges into the room. Inside, Discord sat on his swivel chair, a remote control with a big red button was in his right paw and a big smile on his face. "Is there a problem?" "It is the middle of the night, ponies are trying to sleep," Wonderbolt spoke through gritted teeth. It was taking him a great deal of self restraint to not try attacking Discord again. "Oh come now, ponies sleeping through the whole night, every night. It's so boring, so orderly." Discord glanced out the window, the light from the explosion had faded. "Still we don't want everypony bumping into things," There was a flash of light and a giant monkey appeared on the roof of tallest tower. Above it, three large, glowing orbs lit up Canterlot and the surrounding countryside. The monkey grabbed them as the fell and began juggling. "Not bad, not bad," Discord said to himself. "A lot of the country is in darkness though." Inspiration struck and light enveloped the city. The city was now no longer at the bottom of the mountain, but half way up it, sticking out of the side. The entire city was kept from falling by a few rickety, wooden supports; a pegasus architect flew out to view what had happened and fainted in mid-air at how unsafe it all looked. "What was the point of that?" Wonderbolt asked. "Now the light is covering the whole of Equestria." "Why didn't you just have the monkey stand on the mountain rather than moving the whole damn city!" "Well that's no fun. Anyway, it's much better for bungee jumping now." "What's bungee jumping?" Discord's smile grew noticeably. Wonderbolt suddenly found himself falling through the air. He tried pulling his wings open, but he couldn't. He looked over his shoulder to see Canterlot far above him, the harness restricting his wings and the cord keeping him and his city attached. He strained against the equipment, moving his front hooves above his head to try and pull it off. As the ground came closer, he pulled his hooves to his eyes and screamed. He felt a pull on his stomach as he decelerated. He stopped centimeters from the ground. Wonderbolt opened his eyes in time to see a rabbit wearing a bowler hat, blowing on a bubble pipe, looking at him with an expression of puzzled amusement. Wonderbolt wasn't able to reflect on this unusual sight for very long because the bungee cord soon began pulling him back towards Canterlot; the bunny waved goodbye to the blue and yellow pony as he rocketed skyward. Again Wonderbolt tried to break free of his restraints to no avail. He was closing in on the underside of Canterlot now, the cord had gone slack but he was still falling upwards. He began slowing down, but he knew it would be too little too late, he was going to collide with the stone ceiling at a dangerous speed. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact. "Princess?" Clover peeked around the door. "Yes Clover, come in." She trotted into the room. "If your looking for my husband, he left a while ago. Probably gone to confront Discord again." Platinum was in the bedroom's walk in closet searching for something. "I doubt he'll be any more successful than last time; physical attack seem to do nothing to him and he just shrugs off any Unicorn magic thrown at him. I doubt anypony in Equetria could do anything against Discord " "Me too," Platinum agreed. She exited the closet levitating a saddlebag adorned with jewels. "That's why I have decided to request aid from the spirits Luna and Celestia." "What?!" A day ago such action was inconceivable. To stand before the gods of ponykind, it was an honor that was bestowed only on the few ponies they had requested through out history. To think that Platinum planned to enter their personal domain and request their assistance, it was almost blasphemous. "We are their people. They have a duty to protect us and only they have the power to stand against this threat." Princess Platinum stated with confidence. She turned from the saddlebag laying over the bed and saw Clover's expression. "Do not worry, they will not have forgotten the debt owed to Unicorn kind. When their magics weakened, the first Unicorn King offered his people's own to support the cycle of day and night." She levitated a note she had written from her dressing table and folded it over. Outside the bedroom door was a pegasus in the royal guard uniform. "Sergeant , take this to my husband. It is of the utmost urgency." The pegasus took the floating message in his mouth. "Come on Clover, we'd better get prepare for our journey." Once the two unicorns had left towards the kitchen, the pegasus took the letter from his mouth and held it to the window to read it by monkeylight. "Celestia and Luna?" 'Sergeant' Tonal Clash whispered to himself. He waited until the princess and her companion were out of earshot before disappearing from existence, his psyche returning to the mind that it had spawned from. The letter fluttered to the floor before bursting into flames. "That was bungee jumping," said Discord between chuckles. Wonderbolt found himself, not splattered along the bottom of Canterlot as he had expected, but hovering several inches above the throne room floor. Gravity, bitter after his elastic assisted escape from its grasp. was quick to rectify this error of physics by dropping Wonderbolt painfully on his rump. Wonderbolt breathed deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Falling from a great height without use of his wings, it was a common nightmare among pegasus children. He was embarrassed by how much the experience had shaken him, he was known as one of the best flyers in the military. He may not be as fast or as graceful as some, but he could avoid obstacles and do turns tighter than anypony alive. The two guards remembered they were in the room and rushed to help the commander to his hooves. Meanwhile, Discord walked to the largest window in the room. The outside windowsill unrolled into a red slide that left the castle grounds and ended in the city streets. Wonderbolt walked slowly towards Discord as he turned to picked up his swivel chair throne, lifted it over his head and threw it through the window. Shards of glass exploded outwards, into the castle grounds. Where they landed, large carnivorous plants grew from the ground almost instantly, their sharp teeth ready to chew the tail hairs off anypony who got too close. Wonderbolt watched the chair as it fell, its shape changing as it flew. It transformed into large custard pie and collided with the face of the memorial statue of Commander Hurricane. Infuriated by the desecration of the memory of his adoptive parent, Wonderbolt launched himself at the spirit. It was at this moment that the mind of 'Sargent' Tonal Clash merged with that of Discord's own. He was far to occupied with his new memories to notice the enraged pegasus until he had collided into his back. The two guards watched as the commander, entangled by the spirit's serpent like body, tumbled down the long slide. They looked nervously at each other before deciding back out the room, where they were chased down the corridor by a herd of stampeding chairs.
PrologueThe Kingdom of Discord By The Pirate Prince No pony has a complete understanding of where spirits come from, or why they exist. These mysterious beings defy the world's natural laws and exist beyond mortals' understanding of magic. Their interactions with the world and each other have mystified ponies since the dawn of time. So few are willing to burden themselves with the affairs of mortals, we may never have a complete understanding of these “gods.“ Some spirits have existed since the beginning of the world. Others are know to have existed long before that, having freed themselves from this reality or have been hidden away, dormant, waiting to return. Some are born when new aspects of the world appear or are discovered. Others come into being simply through the belief of lesser beings. However, there has only been one recorded case where a spirit was born into the world because it embodied something that didn't exist, something that had always been present before then, a void that needed filling. Ten years had past since the founding of the pony nation of Equestria. The noble unicorns, intellectual masters of magic. The brave pegasi, mighty warriors of weather manipulation. The strong and skilled, agricultural earth Ponies. These three great pony tribes came together to form a single society. Though the three tribes had cooperated in the past, they had always held each other in contempt, each seeing their fellow ponies' cultures only as rivals to their own. But now that seemed to have passed and Equestria was enjoying a golden age of peace and prosperity. Old disputes had been settled and all ponies joined together in the worship of the sun and moon spirits, the only spirits in the world to take the form of ponies. It was too good to last. Starting from Canterlot castle, stretching across Equestria and through the still thawing lands of the three tribes, there was a road. While the Canterlot end was paved with stone, it quickly became a simple dirt track. Though it became the most walked road in Equestria, nopony would traverse its entire length. Following this road would lead to the gates of a second castle, a castle few ponies dared to enter. On the eve of the country's tenth anniversary, a grey-coated pony walked this road. He began his journey in the wintry lands, with neither cold nor wind slowing his pace. As night came, the staving windigos descended upon him, but quickly fled from his presence in fearful panic. As he walked, he barely noticed the landscape changing from cold and lifeless to warm and green. All that occupied his mind was that feeling. He knew he had the power to reach his destination instantly, but he didn't care. Everything, including that hideous, revolting feeling was new to him, and he was savoring every moment. Every step in this new world. This world of magic and laughter, of generosity and kindness, reliability and honesty. This world of harmony.
Chapter One: Canterlot's Tenth AnniversaryThe sun rose over Equestria, pushed through the heavens by unicorn magic. As the morning came to a close, the ponies of Canterlot gathered in the streets and the castle grounds. Today was special, for not only were they celebrating the passing of Equestria's first decade, but at midday, the wedding of the Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt was to be held. This union between a unicorn and a pegasus was to be the first mixed marriage since the three tribes were first founded. With the earth pony, former-chancellor Puddinghead performing the ceremony, it was to be a great symbol of ponies coming together in harmony. Wonderbolt stood on his bedroom balcony, watching the assembled crowd, thinking of the situations leading to his engagement. Commander Hurricane's younger sister, Cloudfeather, had died during childbirth, leaving Hurricane as the colt's sole guardian. As he was growing up, Hurricane rarely spoke of his father, who died in battle under her command, shortly before his birth, something that Cloudfeather never really forgave her for. Wonderbolt remembered back to the day the letter arrived over five years ago, informing him of his future. Stationed at a fort by the western boarder, Wonderbolt was a high ranking officer for his age. Well respected by the rank and file, the news that he was engaged and was to pack up and move to the capital was met with sincere congratulations, regrets that he was leaving and joking advise for him “not to turn into a pampered prince pony.” While in some ways he was an adult, he was still young. Hurricane was the head of the family and since he had no other romantic relationships, she was well within her right to agree to an arranged wedding, which was not uncommon among the ruling elite. This didn't stop Wonderbolt confronting her when he returned to Canterlot. After an intense argument Hurricane told him that the decision was final, that the country needed this and that it was his duty to make sacrifices for his people, something that she had taught him since birth. His people... Wonderbolt smiled, no longer surprised that he included unicorns and earth ponies in that statement. As for Princess Platinum, they had gotten close over the years, he had to admit. The two of them had first met during the anniversary celebration five years ago. With everypony staring at them, it had been awkward to say the least. He had spent most of the evening quietly standing to attention while she tried to make conversation with anypony that would come near them. But, as the years passed and they were forced to spend more and more time with each other, the walls between them eventually broke down. When Hurricane had died during a campain against the the Diamond Dog slavers three years ago, only a few metres away from him, Platinum had been an invaluable confidant in dealing with his grief. When the Generals' Council voted that he'd be promoted to replace her, again Platinum was there, willing to listen to his fears and self-doubts. Bolt wondered if he would have fallen in love with her if the situation was different, if they were allowed to meet without the political pressure. A sharp knock at the door signified that the ceremony was about to start. His mind snapped back to reality; replacing his helmet, he completed the formal dress uniform that had been polished to a mirror shine. He gave one last look over the castle grounds, focusing on Commander Hurricane's memorial. He could see a group of ponies, unicorns, pegasi and earth, standing on its steps, talking and laughing with each other. Major General of the Equestrian Army, Commander Wonderbolt sighed, turned and marched out of the room. When Wonderbolt entered the chapel, all eyes turned to him. He smartly nodded in acknowledgement of Puddinghead's excessive wave and marched to join her at the altar. He stood at attention to her side, but allowed himself to give the best mare, Clover, a warm smile. She felt very out of place wearing the expensive dress and was looking forward to being able to change into something more practical. Still, she was the obvious choice, she had become a close friend to both of them, and she did inadvertently give the idea of having the wedding to the Unicorn King five years ago. Clover quickly suppressed her memories of when the princess found out. At least she seemed happy about it now. The groom looked over the crowd, who had begun talking among themselves again. Among the family members, military personal and friends were several important guests. 'The Queen of the Plains,' wife of the Zebra King was present along with two of the Minotaur Overlord's sons, tended to by a number of their servants. The music started up and everypony went silent. As the flowerfillies entered the chapel, Wonderbolt closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He opened them again and gasped. She looked divine walking towards him, dressed in her white wedding dress embroidered with the metal of her namesake. Accompanied by her father, the Unicorn King, Wonderbolt thought she walked more gracefully than he could ever achieve in flight. When they had drawn level with him, her father stepped back into the crowd. The bride and groom glanced at each other; she gave him a sweet smile, which he, unsuccessfully, tried to return. Platinum stifled a giggle and they both turned back to Puddinghead. “Mares, gentlecolts and esteemed guests, though I notice the Griffons couldn't bother sending someone. It's not like it's difficult for them, they do have wings after all.” She cleared her throat. Wonderbolt suddenly had very mixed feeling about this. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt. Who would have thought that these two would end up getting married? Well everyone did five years ago when it was announced, but who would have thought they'd click so well? I'll tell you who, me, that's who. I remember talking to Princess Platinum the day after they first met. All she could talk about was how rude she thought he was. Even when I tried to change the subject, she just wouldn't stop. So I said to myself, I said-” “Pudding, sweetie. Maybe that sort of thing would be best saved for after the ceremony,” the princess advised; the sniggering had grown to be very noticeable. Wonderbolt now felt a bit more at ease. Puddinghead was always good at making ponies feel relaxed through sheer force of silliness, although he did want to hear the rest of the story. He'd like to learn more of Platinum's first thoughts about him. Former-chancellor Puddinghead grinned, refusing to let the interruption faze her. “This union is a momentous occasion. For the first time in history, ponies of different tribes are coming together in marriage. Unless, of course, some sneaky someponies have already done it in secret and didn't tell us. Then wouldn't this all be embarrassing. But still, now everypony knows you don't have to keep your love a secret, so isn't that just wonderful? The rings if you please.” The ring bearer was a young colt named Silver Feather, who was the son of Wonderbolt's aunt on his father's side, Corporal Pansy. On the pillow was a small ring that the groom placed on bride's horn and a larger ring that was placed on his foreleg. “I now pronounce you mare and colt.” The crowd cheered and applauded. The minotaur guests loudly and rhythmically beat their chest, much to the surprise of their neighbors. The bride and groom shared their first kiss as a married couple and moved to the chapel balcony, joined by Clover and Puddinghead. The pair of them waved to the crowds as they erupted with celebration. The royal band started up and showers of confetti in fell from the towers and flying pegasi. For Princess Platinum and Commander Wonderbolt, it was the happiest moment of their lives.
Chapter Two: Discord Comes to CanterlotThe celebrations continued for a few moments before coming to an unexpected end. Pony ears strained and turned, searching for the mysterious sound that had no obvious source. The sound itself shouldn't have been unusual, hooves coming together in applause. But it was distinct over the noise of the crowd and seemed to be everywhere, like somepony was clapping was right beside both ears at once. Canterlot quietened, leaving the slow, sarcastic clap the only sound in the city. Eventually, that too ceased. "I suppose congratulations are in order.” A smarmy voice spoke up from the rear of the balcony. The group turned to face the grey coated pony leaning back on the castle wall beside the door. Wonderbolt stepped forward, wings outstretched with fire in his eyes. “Who are you?! Where are my men?!” There should have been an honor guard on the balcony. Had they just disappeared, or had he simply been so distracted that he hadn't notice their absence? “Oh relax. They're fine.” replied the blank-flanked stranger, standing up and moving between the bride and groom. “As for me?” He raised himself onto his back legs, forelegs outspread. “I! AM!” A moment passed, then another, and another. “Wha-” began Wonderbolt. “DISCORD!” Impossible lightning struck from the cloudless sky. Ponies' turned from the intense light and covered their ears from the deafening boom. Where the mystery pony had once stood, now was the draconequus form of the chaos spirit. He stretched his arms then leaned to the princess. “What do you think? Too much?” Without waiting for a response, Discord jumped onto the battlements of the balcony. With a flash of light, a wireless microphone appeared in his eagle claw hand, despite electronic audio equipment not being invented yet. “Ladies and gent-” He moved the microphone away from his mouth. “Wait a minute.” “Mares and Gentlecolts!” He began again, his voice echoing through the city and over the countryside. “Today you came from out of your little homes to celebrate a change in your ruling class. Little did you know how big change this day would really bring. Rejoice, for Discord, spirit of, well, discord, has come bring fun and chaos to your boring little lives. In celebration, everyone take the day off.” The spirit paused for dramatic effect, spoiled by Puddinghead. “Um, everypony already has the day off.” She explained. “Oh.” replied Discord, legitimately surprised. “In that case, have tomorrow off as well.” From the crowd, a pony's solitary cheer was quickly extinguished by the glares of his neighbors. The microphone disappeared into the state of non-existence it had came and the spirit teleported back to the rear of the balcony. “Well then, lots to do, can't stand around here all day. Platinum, Boltie, sorry I can't stay, but I've got a throne room to decorate. Still, tradition is tradition.” Another flash and the chimera disappeared from the balcony. A second flash made the group look up to see the a small mountain of rice appear above them. It hovered, suspended in the air for a brief couple of seconds before enveloping the bride and groom. Wonderbolt pulled himself out of the mess, either no one had told Discord the rice wasn't supposed to be cooked or he just didn't care. He shook his head, dislodging rice, peas and cooked prawns off his helmet, and turned to the two ponies helping his wife out of the mass of food. “Clover, get up to the libary and find out everything there is to know about this thing. Councilor Puddinghead..” “Former-Chancellor Puddinghead.” She interrupted. For some reason, the councilor preferred being referred to by her former title. Everypony had long accepted it as one of her eccentricities. “Former-Chancellor Puddinghead,” Wonderbolt corrected himself, “ you're with me. I'm going to confront this Discord, and I want it to be backed up by the authority of a council member.” He turned to his wife. “Platinum, please stay here and keep an eye on the guests. Especially the foreign representatives, we don't want an international incident.” “I'm a council member too.” Platinum argued. Wonderbolt sighed and kissed his bride, “Please Princess. I don't want be dragging you into danger.” “Oh, so it's perfectly fine to drag me into danger, huh?” Puddinghead interrupted, her voice layered with pretend outrage. “It's not your wedding day.” Wonderbolt replied in good humor. He turned and marched back into the castle. He was greeted by a group of guards running down the aisle. “Sergeant, get a search party together, we've got four missing guards. The rest of you, follow me.” The Princess watched her husband leave the room before snapping out of her daze. “Well, I'd better get our guests to safety.” “Princess,” Clover spoke up for the first time since the ceremony, “if you find Cookie, can you send her up to the library. I'll need her help.“ Smart Cookie was Puddinghead's former assistant and Clover's best friend. While unicorn scribes had gone into Equestria to record everything they could learn from the other races, Cookie had volunteered be acting head librarian. She found the job a welcome change to dealing with the eccentricities of the former-chancellor and decided to stay permanently. Wonderbolt led his men through the corridors of the castle. “He said he had a 'throne room to decorate.' The council chamber would be a good place to start.” The Equestrian government was headed by a council of six ponies, together representing Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth Ponies, The Science and Magic Society, The Military and The Industrial Union. A Unicorn corporal used his magic to bust the door open and the party moved into the Council Chamber. The chairs sat undisturbed in around the semicircular table. “All clear, Commander.” Wonderbolt turned to exit the room. “What are all of you doing on the ceiling?” A voice called out from above them. They all looked up to see the chaos spirit sitting, upside down, on a large, ornate throne made from gold. “We're not on the ceiling, silly, you are. There aren't any doors up there.” Puddinghead giggled. Discord looked up at his feet and then to the floor. “Ah!” The throne dropped like a stone, with Discord still sitting in it. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!.” Inches before he collided with the stone floor, there was a flash of light, and Discord was sitting on his throne, secure on the ground. With his hands over his eyes; he looked through his fingers (or rather, the eagle claw and lion paw equivalent of fingers.) Moving his hands from his face, he stood up, brushing himself with his hands. “That never happened, got that?” Puddinghead broke the silence by falling to the floor in laughter. Wonderbolt stepped over her. “What are you doing here? What is your purpose here?” Discord teleported behind the commander. “What do you think? It's rather fancy, but I don't think it's really me.” A flash and the throne was replaced with a mountain of skulls. Another, and it was replaced by a three legged stool. A fish bowl, a large blue ball. Finally, he settled on a large, red die with white spots; it had two faces showing four and a single face showing 7.5. He teleported himself onto his new throne. “Well, that will do for now. Sorry, what were you saying?” "Who are you? What's going on? AND WHERE ARE MY DAMN SOLDIERS!" Wonderbolt's voice echoed through the domed chamber, patience was not one of his greatest strengths. "Ok, alright. No need to shout." The spirit removed the ears from his head and threw them unceremoniously over his shoulder where they promptly exploded. He then reached into a small briefcase that had appeared by his feet and pulled out a replacement pair. "Like I said, I'm Discord. If that's not enough, may I suggest you invest in a dictionary." He spoke while replacing his ears. "What?" Discord stopped rearranging his head and sighed. A flash of light, and a large, open dictionary appeared in his hands. Simultaneously, a monocle appeared over his left eye and a pipe appeared in his mouth. "Discord.. Discord.. Disclosure, disco, disconnect. Ah, here we are. Discord: A lack of agreement or harmony." He looked back at the ponies then looked back down to the book. "Also, it's a combination of musical sounds that strikes the ear very harshly. Huh, I didn't know that." He looked back again to the ponies. "I'm a spirit, here to rule over your pony kingdom, bringing with me disharmony and chaos. Is that simple enough for you to understand now?" "Why us? What did we ever do to you?" "What did you do?" Discord laughed. "You created me! I was born because of you. This city, this country! Did you really think you could upset the status quo without consequence? Ponies, coming together, living together. You changed the world, and the world changed in retaliation." While speaking, Discord stood up from his die throne and paced towards his new subjects. "Only, it would appear that not every reaction is equal to the action. And now Chaos will reign and I will rule." "No. You will not." Wonderbolt replied, his face inches from the draconequus' "Equestria is a free country, and we will not succumb to your tyranny." With a strong flap of his wings, the pegasus rocketed his helmeted head into the spirit's face. Clover was surprised to find the door to the library open and the lamps lit. “Hello? Anypony in here?” “Clover, over here.” Smart Cookie called over from behind a bookshelf. “When that thing said it was a spirit, I figured you'd race up here to look it up.” Cookie explained once Clover had telekinetically relived her of the stack of books she'd been carrying. “Cookie, you're a star!” She placed the books on the desk and split them into two piles. “Lets get to work.” “Sure thing CC.” “I told you to stop calling me that.” Clover the Clever replied automatically, her eyes fixed on the pages of her first book.
Chapter Three: Canterlot Castle Chaos"Nothing! Three hours we're been up here and we've found nothing about Discord." Clover was resisting the temptation to smack herself on the side of head with her copy of "Spirts o thee wolrd," by Silver Shade the Misspeller. "Come on Clover, look at the bright side. If there's nothing recorded on Discord, that means you can be the first to write about him." The Clover's face immediately lit up. "Oh my gosh, I better start making some notes." She rushed into the nearby store room and returned with rolls of parchment, quills and bottles of ink. Placing them on a nearby desk, she started transcribing all the thoughts and theories she had had since seeing the spirit. Cookie sighed and flicked through the book Clover had left behind. She looked up at the sound of the princess entering the library, "This is infuriating. I can't find her anyw-" She stood on the spot. "Oh, there you are Cookie." "Yes princess?" "Umm, nothing. Carry on." "Your majesty! There she is!" The princess spun on the spot and shooed the guard that had been accompanying her away. "Shhh. Go call off the search." When the guard had left, Platinum took a deep breath and made her way to the pair of them. "So how is the research going?" "Fine. It's fine." replied Clover, far to distracted with trying to remember the exact shade of gray the spirit's head had been to pay attention. "Err, actually, we haven't really found out anything. We can't find any reference to this Discord anywhere." "You won't!" came a voice from the doorway. Wonderbolt limped into the library, his blue coat was covered in bright pink paint, flowers grew from the ends of his tail hairs and his helmet had been turned into cardboard. Platinum rushed to his side, he put a foreleg around her, helping him keep off his sprained ankle. "Apparently, he's only been around for a few days." Cookie gave Clover a nudge to tell her to pay attention to what she had just heard. "A few days? Where did he come from?" the Unicorn asked. Wonderbolt sat down next to her. Once Cookie had removed the nearby books in case he started dripping paint on them, he told them what happened. "- when we found the missing guards. The doctors think it'll take them a few weeks to recover. Lucky we found them when we did, another hour and we might not have even recognized them." "Wait, so where's Puddinghead?" Platinum asked. She had helped heal his ankle and had finally finished picking the flowers out of his tail. "Oh, she's still with him. They seem to be getting along." "How did that happen?" asked Clover without looking up, frantically writing down her notes. "Well, it started when he tried turning her head into actual pudding," Two of the ponies gasped, the other was busy writing and wouldn't be shocked until several minutes later. "Is she alright?" Cookie asked. "Yeah. For some reason it just covered her head with pudding instead of replacing it. After the fourth attempt he started getting annoyed and filled the whole room with the stuff." Memories flashed in his mind, his eyes unfocused and fear crept into his voice. "I've never seen anything eat like that before." He shock his head. "Once she cleared that mess up, the spirit started laughing. Last time I saw them they were discussing the merits of various deserts." "Well, maybe if they become friends she'll be able to explain why we don't want him ruling over us." "You know what Discord? You're alright." Puddinghead and Discord were lying on their bellies, drawing on the throne room floor with a box of crayons Discord had wished into existence. Her drawing of a cat had come to life and climbed on top of the main door. Discord's butterfly had actually detached itself from the floor and was flying around the room, breathing fire at the curtains. "Thank you my dear. Thirsty?" He stood up and two glasses appeared in his hand. He stepped over his throne, now made from three different colored dice, and filled the glasses in the strawberry milkshake waterfall he had made a few minutes ago. "Thanks." She took the glass and drank deeply, leaving a foam mustache on her lip. "So, how long are you planning on staying?" "Oh, this is just the beginning. Today I've limited myself to this room, tomorrow, I'll move on to the whole country." "Oh, well, you see. I don't think everyone will like that. Don't get me wrong, some of it's great. Only, it's all very distracting and everypony has jobs to do." "Oh yes. I suppose you know about that more than most, don't you." He sipped at his drink, the liquid emptying from the bottom. "What do you mean?" The pony placed her glass on the floor and sat up. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just saying, out of all the pony tribes, you Earth Ponies seem to do the most work. Spending all day in the fields, plowing, planting, weeding." "Yeah, but Unicorns work hard, they make up most of the doctors and scientists. And Pegasi have to look after the weather and they make up most of the army." "I suppose, but none of that is really that difficult, not like the back breaking work your kind does." Discord slumped onto his throne, the top die's spots turned into pictures of bottles. "The way I see it, as an outsider, pony society is like a pyramid: Unicorns at the top; Pegasi in the middle and Earth Ponies at the bottom." As he spoke, a five faced pyramid appeared floating in the air. It was split into three sections, each labeled with the flags of the three tribes. The Earth pony stared at it for a few moments before replying. "Even if it was true, which it isn't, that doesn't mean Earth ponies are worse than Unicorns or Pegasi, without the base, there wouldn't be a pyramid at all." "Maybe, but the great thing about chaos is that anything can happen, a pyramid can be turned on its head and still stay balanced." In a flash of light, the pyramid was upside down. "I can make food come from thin air. I can make it so your people can be free to do whatever they like." "Earth Ponies like being farmers." Puddinghead spoke quietly without her usual bounciness. "Anyway, It's getting late. Time for bed. We've got a big day tomorrow, we don't want you falling asleep while I'm making everypony's lives better, do we?" Puddinghead suddenly yawned. It was strange, a moment ago she didn't feel sleepy at all. "OK, nighty night Discord."The pony trotted out of the room and headed straight to up her chambers "Nighty night Puddinghead." Once she had closed the door behind her, Discord's throne of dice turned into a swivel chair. He spun to face the only window with its curtains still burning. He looked out over his kingdom and smiled.
Chapter Four: Equestria's New RegimeIt was very late in the evening and Clover the Clever was almost finished with her interviews of Wonderbolt's soldiers about their 'battle' with Discord. "-and that's when the second dance number started." "Yes, Private Steel Wing already told me what happened." "Did he mention the-" "Yes, yes he did. In quite graphic detail actually. I don't think I want to hear it again." She shuddered briefly before wrote down another couple of notes. "Well I think that's everything corporal, you should go get some sleep." "Thank you ma'am." He gave her the best salute he could considering his injuries and exited the library for the Canterlot barracks. Clover began sorting through her notes; to her, this spirit of chaos was a fascinating mystery. She wished she could study it even closer, really test his limits. Clover started imaging herself interviewing the Draconequus, learning all about the world from a spirit's point of view. This being must know so much about the universe, maybe there could be some way to make it cooperate. Her daydreaming was cut short by an explosion that lit up the city and shook the castle. True to his word, Discord had refrained himself from truly spreading chaos across the country until the morning, and since it had just passed midnight, he decided to literally start things off with a bang. Wonderbolt was washing away the paint covering his coat in the en suite next to Platinum's bedroom. Their bedroom. "Some honeymoon," he sighed. He climbed out of the bath and grabbed a towel from the rack on the wall. After drying himself off, he walked back into the bedroom. He glanced to the door. It didn't feel right, going to bed when a hostile entity had invaded the castle; but he wouldn't be able to be an effective commander by depriving himself of sleep, and Discord didn't seem to be causing trouble for the moment. He slipped under the sheets, careful not to wake his sleeping wife. In the dim light, he watched her sleep for a few moments before closing his eyes and clearing his mind from the endless strategies and counter-maneuvers he'd been formulating against the spirit. *BOOM* The two of them bolted upright, Wonderbolt leapt to his hooves and ran out of the room. "Stay here!" he shouted back to his wife; she was too disoriented to argue. In fact, it took her a few moments to remember they were married. Seeing Wonderbolt laying next to her was quite a shock. Commander Wonderbolt galloped down the corridors to the council room; he passed a couple of guards that followed him unenthusiastically, they'd seen what had happened to the men who had been with the Commander when he'd first confronted the spirit. When they pushed on the doors to the council room, they fell from their hinges into the room. Inside, Discord sat on his swivel chair, a remote control with a big red button was in his right paw and a big smile on his face. "Is there a problem?" "It is the middle of the night, ponies are trying to sleep," Wonderbolt spoke through gritted teeth. It was taking him a great deal of self restraint to not try attacking Discord again. "Oh come now, ponies sleeping through the whole night, every night. It's so boring, so orderly." Discord glanced out the window, the light from the explosion had faded. "Still we don't want everypony bumping into things," There was a flash of light and a giant monkey appeared on the roof of tallest tower. Above it, three large, glowing orbs lit up Canterlot and the surrounding countryside. The monkey grabbed them as the fell and began juggling. "Not bad, not bad," Discord said to himself. "A lot of the country is in darkness though." Inspiration struck and light enveloped the city. The city was now no longer at the bottom of the mountain, but half way up it, sticking out of the side. The entire city was kept from falling by a few rickety, wooden supports; a pegasus architect flew out to view what had happened and fainted in mid-air at how unsafe it all looked. "What was the point of that?" Wonderbolt asked. "Now the light is covering the whole of Equestria." "Why didn't you just have the monkey stand on the mountain rather than moving the whole damn city!" "Well that's no fun. Anyway, it's much better for bungee jumping now." "What's bungee jumping?" Discord's smile grew noticeably. Wonderbolt suddenly found himself falling through the air. He tried pulling his wings open, but he couldn't. He looked over his shoulder to see Canterlot far above him, the harness restricting his wings and the cord keeping him and his city attached. He strained against the equipment, moving his front hooves above his head to try and pull it off. As the ground came closer, he pulled his hooves to his eyes and screamed. He felt a pull on his stomach as he decelerated. He stopped centimeters from the ground. Wonderbolt opened his eyes in time to see a rabbit wearing a bowler hat, blowing on a bubble pipe, looking at him with an expression of puzzled amusement. Wonderbolt wasn't able to reflect on this unusual sight for very long because the bungee cord soon began pulling him back towards Canterlot; the bunny waved goodbye to the blue and yellow pony as he rocketed skyward. Again Wonderbolt tried to break free of his restraints to no avail. He was closing in on the underside of Canterlot now, the cord had gone slack but he was still falling upwards. He began slowing down, but he knew it would be too little too late, he was going to collide with the stone ceiling at a dangerous speed. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact. "Princess?" Clover peeked around the door. "Yes Clover, come in." She trotted into the room. "If your looking for my husband, he left a while ago. Probably gone to confront Discord again." Platinum was in the bedroom's walk in closet searching for something. "I doubt he'll be any more successful than last time; physical attack seem to do nothing to him and he just shrugs off any Unicorn magic thrown at him. I doubt anypony in Equetria could do anything against Discord " "Me too," Platinum agreed. She exited the closet levitating a saddlebag adorned with jewels. "That's why I have decided to request aid from the spirits Luna and Celestia." "What?!" A day ago such action was inconceivable. To stand before the gods of ponykind, it was an honor that was bestowed only on the few ponies they had requested through out history. To think that Platinum planned to enter their personal domain and request their assistance, it was almost blasphemous. "We are their people. They have a duty to protect us and only they have the power to stand against this threat." Princess Platinum stated with confidence. She turned from the saddlebag laying over the bed and saw Clover's expression. "Do not worry, they will not have forgotten the debt owed to Unicorn kind. When their magics weakened, the first Unicorn King offered his people's own to support the cycle of day and night." She levitated a note she had written from her dressing table and folded it over. Outside the bedroom door was a pegasus in the royal guard uniform. "Sergeant , take this to my husband. It is of the utmost urgency." The pegasus took the floating message in his mouth. "Come on Clover, we'd better get prepare for our journey." Once the two unicorns had left towards the kitchen, the pegasus took the letter from his mouth and held it to the window to read it by monkeylight. "Celestia and Luna?" 'Sergeant' Tonal Clash whispered to himself. He waited until the princess and her companion were out of earshot before disappearing from existence, his psyche returning to the mind that it had spawned from. The letter fluttered to the floor before bursting into flames. "That was bungee jumping," said Discord between chuckles. Wonderbolt found himself, not splattered along the bottom of Canterlot as he had expected, but hovering several inches above the throne room floor. Gravity, bitter after his elastic assisted escape from its grasp. was quick to rectify this error of physics by dropping Wonderbolt painfully on his rump. Wonderbolt breathed deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Falling from a great height without use of his wings, it was a common nightmare among pegasus children. He was embarrassed by how much the experience had shaken him, he was known as one of the best flyers in the military. He may not be as fast or as graceful as some, but he could avoid obstacles and do turns tighter than anypony alive. The two guards remembered they were in the room and rushed to help the commander to his hooves. Meanwhile, Discord walked to the largest window in the room. The outside windowsill unrolled into a red slide that left the castle grounds and ended in the city streets. Wonderbolt walked slowly towards Discord as he turned to picked up his swivel chair throne, lifted it over his head and threw it through the window. Shards of glass exploded outwards, into the castle grounds. Where they landed, large carnivorous plants grew from the ground almost instantly, their sharp teeth ready to chew the tail hairs off anypony who got too close. Wonderbolt watched the chair as it fell, its shape changing as it flew. It transformed into large custard pie and collided with the face of the memorial statue of Commander Hurricane. Infuriated by the desecration of the memory of his adoptive parent, Wonderbolt launched himself at the spirit. It was at this moment that the mind of 'Sargent' Tonal Clash merged with that of Discord's own. He was far to occupied with his new memories to notice the enraged pegasus until he had collided into his back. The two guards watched as the commander, entangled by the spirit's serpent like body, tumbled down the long slide. They looked nervously at each other before deciding back out the room, where they were chased down the corridor by a herd of stampeding chairs.
