Dreams and Reality

Chapters

As Usual
Carry On
A Different Kind of Struggle
Something New
Dreams Have Big Expectations
Reality is a Letdown

As Usual

Temperature is a great way to add a certain atmosphere to the world… If it’s a hot day, it gives you the feeling of summer and the sun, making life seem just a little more hopeful. However, on days like today, the cold air often bites at your nose and ears, causing you to raise your shoulders, trying to keep any warmth close to yourself. That’s what I have to do today, still biting my lip at how cold it is, despite the jacket I have on. I didn’t think it would be this cold for the fall a few weeks ago, but now I wish I had stocked up more groceries. It’ll be hard to keep us fed with the few food items I bought, but maybe I can improvise. If it comes down to it, I can try to buy us more groceries later on, but I would prefer to not be outside more than I have to.

The funny thing is that I usually have to walk back and forth to places, so I’m outside by default a lot. I have to walk all the way to the nearest bus stop to get to my job and those city buses don’t usually have the best heating systems. At least Sonata and Aria don’t have to stay in the cold… They get a warm ride all the way to school right from our street. It gives me one less thing to worry about, unless Aria starts acting up again… That rebellious attitude of hers doesn’t help her grades, resulting in a call from her teachers. Every time she acts up, I have to make my way to the school to settle some mundane matter and then take them both home for the day. Not only is it affecting her, but it affects how the teachers are viewing Sonata…

Sonata is a handful by herself. She’s a little girl coming into the world. Her body is growing, but her innocence remains. It’s a breath of fresh air from Aria, but she often gets in trouble for trying to have fun. I suppose it’s not that uncommon for eleven year-old kids, but still. I have to talk to her about sitting still in class soon… It’s unfortunate… She doesn’t have a lot of friends, despite being as friendly as she can be, offering to play with others and even giving her toys to kids who need one. I’ve asked Aria to look out for her sister, but she prefers to stick with her own crowd rather than pay attention to a kid. Aria has her own social group, so I guess I can’t blame her, but I could really use some help here…

Why does life have to be so hard…? Why does it have to be so difficult to look out for family while making a decent living? It’s all a fucking joke… Not only does my job barely pay me minimum wage, but the landlord keeps hiking up the price of our apartment every chance he gets… I swear it seems like the world itself is out to get me in particular here. As soon as you need a helping hand, the world is always willing to give you a cold shoulder. In this case, it’s quite literal… I can’t help but shake at the cold with a heavy sigh, walking quickly down the sidewalk. I don’t even know what I’m going to make for dinner tonight. I suppose I could fix some sandwiches again. That’s assuming if Aria hasn’t gone on a joyride with her friends again… I swear if she left Sonata alone again, I will be pissed…

Turning the corner, the sight of the apartment complex makes me exhale with a shake of my head, jogging towards our front door. The lights inside our apartment are on, so at least they’re still awake. I’m here now, girls… Sliding my keys into the door’s lock, I open the front door quickly, slipping in to avoid one more second of the biting cold. Despite the living room lights being on, Aria is nowhere to be seen. “Girls?” I call out, hanging my coat on the rack next to the door. Perhaps it’s just my paranoid nature, but whenever I don’t get a response from them, I can’t help but worry that something is wrong. They usually don’t hear me, but it doesn’t stop my mind from coming up with wild things. Kicking off my boots, I quickly walk down the hallway, not bothering to take my socks off yet. Aria’s door is left wide open with her light on, no one in sight… Of course she went out. She didn’t even bother to turn the light off before she left. When will she give me a fucking break and listen to me? If she isn’t here, then… Sonata’s been left alone again… Quickly turning around, I walk to Sonata’s door, knocking on it with a worried expression. I can’t help but worry when it comes to them… “Sweetie? Adagio’s home. Are you alright?” I ask with a soft yet pronounced voice, continuing my knock for a couple moments before turning the knob. The pink room is illuminated brightly by the light on the ceiling, but Sonata isn’t anywhere to be seen… The last time she was left home alone, she ended up breaking down and crying… She does that a lot… Whenever she hasn’t seen Aria or I in a long time, she feels anxious and nervous, wanting to be with us again. It usually doesn’t interfere with her school, but there have been a couple times I’ve had to leave work to comfort her. I don’t know for sure the reason why she is like this, but… I have an idea. “It’s alright, you can come out now,” I talk into the seemingly empty room, sitting on her bed as I look around. “I’m sorry you were left alone, Sonata. I’m here now, so we can watch some cartoons and read a story before bed, okay?”

The quiet sound of wood moving makes me look towards the closet, seeing the door open just enough to see a couple of eyes peer out at me. A small blue hand pushes a teddy bear outside of the closet, making its head look at me by pulling the back of the animal. “Promise…?” her small voice asks me from behind the closet door, making the teddy bear’s head bob to her words as if it was talking instead of her.

Chuckling slightly, I stand up from my position at the bed, walking towards the closet with a smile on my face. Leaning down and looking at the teddy bear’s eyes, I shake his paw with my thumb and forefinger. “I promise, Mr. Thompson~ Can you let me see my little sister?” I ask the bear despite the fact it has no mind or thoughts.

“Sonata wants extra cookies this time,” her small voice lets out, trying to bargain with me. Even though her attempt to swindle more sweets out of me is a playful one, I can clearly tell Sonata was scared being by herself. Her eyes look like she’s been crying recently, but the fact that she’s trying to make a deal with me is a good sign that my presence has calmed her down.

“Well, Sonata will have to ask me herself, Mr. Thompson. I do wonder where she is. You’ll have to bring me to her~” The blue hand hesitates slightly, but she eventually makes the bear nod, bringing him to the closet door and using her second hand to make it look like he’s pushing the door open, revealing the girl inside. “Hi, Sonata~” I say quietly, opening my arms wide. Without waiting a moment, Sonata quickly plants herself in my embrace, hugging me as tight as her little arms can manage. Despite her previously talkative manner with her bear, she stays quiet in my arms, resting her face against me without much movement. “How was school?” I ask her quietly, picking her up slowly and rocking her in my arms. Most people would criticize me for ‘spoiling’ Sonata by rocking her since most kids grow out of that stage by her age, but Sonata still seems to enjoy it. Every child is different and Sonata is definitely unique. Her love of stuffed animals and hugs makes her pretty innocent, but a part of me thinks it’s her way of trying to cope with the day.

“They were mean to me again…” Her voice is soft and quiet, barely audible as a result of her pressing her face against me. By ‘they,’ she usually means a group of boys who bully her at her school… They haven’t hurt her physically, but the problem is that they keep picking on her. The girls in her class don’t do anything to stop it either since they don’t like her, making Sonata sort of the outsider of the whole class. The most mean thing I can remember them doing to her is when they spray-painted the word ‘orphan’ on her locker, making Sonata run and cry in the bathroom… If I remember correctly, that was one of the days I had to leave work to get her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask her with a soothing tone, carrying her out of the room and turning the light off behind us. Her head shakes slowly, holding onto me tighter as if the memory alone is stressful. “Alright~ I understand. How about this? I’ll let you have extra cookies tonight if you take a bath before dinner, alright?” I propose, patting her back slightly as we walk to the bathroom door.

“Can you stay with me…?” Sonata asks me slowly, her eyes finally looking up at me with a pleading look.

“Don’t you think you’re a little too old for me to-” before I can finish my statement, I stop myself upon seeing Sonata’s dejected look. Sonata is old enough to wash herself and such, but every time she gets anxious from being separated from us, she feels worried about being by herself again for a long time afterward… Closing the door while she’s in the bathtub only increases the anxiety she was already feeling, making her feel alone. In times like this, I usually sit inside the bathroom so that Sonata can still talk to me and know I’m here for her if she needs me. Technically, she can still see me through the shower curtain, but it’s just barely. I guess it still gives her that privacy while allowing me to comfort her. “I mean, a siren needs her royal guard, right?” I ask her with a wink, her smile returning to her face.

“Okay~ I can,” Sonata tells me with her big smile, nodding slowly. Putting her down slowly on the bathroom tile, she gives me Mr. Thompson and walks towards the bathtub, making me smile slightly. Maybe she can make some friends someday…

Chapter I: As Usual

Walking into the school, I can’t help but feel my anger wash over me, irritated at this situation. I’ve been called to this school so many times that the front door gives me anxious feelings of what could be behind them. Every time I’m asked to come here, I can’t help but ask myself what is needed of me now. What happened this time? At this point, nothing can surprise me. Aria has caused so much trouble that anything short of murder wouldn’t make me do a double-take at all.

The yellow walls, contradictory to their cheerful color, only make me feel more stressed than usual. I’ve seen these same walls way too many times… Storming down the hall, I try to take deep breaths to calm myself before I see the principal and Aria. Anger has only made things worse for me in the past… I need to be calm, no matter what happens. I can scold Aria when we get home, but the problem with that is that she never listens to my words. God… Why can’t I get through to her…? Walking around a corner with a sigh, I see my two sisters sitting in front of the principal’s office, Aria’s arm wrapped around Sonata as she extends her legs and rests her head back. Sonata sits in an awkward position with her legs pushed together and her hands on her knees. Why is she here to begin with…? Why would they pull Sonata out of class for Aria’s misdeeds?

“Hey, Sonata~” I whisper to her in a kind tone, but her eyes look away from me with a nervous expression written on her face. Maybe she’s worried about Aria…? “We’ll talk about this later,” I tell Aria with a frustrated tone, walking past her and towards the door.

“Bold of you to assume I did something,” Aria says in a monotone voice, not even bothering to open her eyes and look at me. What in the hell does she mean? Why would I be called down here if she didn’t do something…?

Opening the door to the principal’s office, I look inside slowly, seeing the white woman sitting at her desk. Her hand scribbles something down on some documents before her eyes connect with mine, her hand signaling for me to close the door. “Ms. Dazzle. Nice to see you once again. I wish it was under better circumstances. Please. Sit.” I see Celestia’s acting as formal as she usually does. Walking towards the chair in front of her desk, I can’t help but look away from Celestia, trying to come up with the right words to say.

“Ms.-”

“Please, just call me Celestia~” she tells me with a smile as I sit down, making me raise my eyebrow slightly.

“Uh… Celestia. If you don’t mind me being frank, I have a busy day today and I really need to get back to work. What did Aria do this time?” Even though the chairs in Celestia’s office are quite comfortable, I can’t make myself feel at peace with the situation, still anticipating the reason I was called here in the first place.

“I understand. You’re a working woman and I respect you for that,” she tells me with a nod, slowly reaching for a couple of papers to her left. “But I’m happy to inform you that Aria didn’t do anything of concern today.” Instantly, I can feel my eyes widen as confusion takes hold of my mind. If Aria didn’t do anything… Then why the hell am I here? I must have misheard her, right?

“What?” I let out blankly, leaning forward in my seat to make sure I can hear the principal better.

“Your little sister, Sonata, is the reason I called you today.” Her hand pushes a piece of paper over to me, one I recognize all too well… The school uses the same document outline for every report of misbehavior. I’ve received dozens of these for Aria, but now, my eyes can’t help but hesitate to look at the paper, knowing it’s something involving Sonata. She’s such a good kid… What could have gotten her in trouble? “Sonata assaulted one of her classmates during recess,” Celestia says frankly, still looking at me.

“There has to be a mistake,” I say quietly, grabbing the paper and looking over the details. I can’t help but feel my mouth dry up as I try to understand the situation.

“The boy she hit was apparently teasing her, but we can’t quite prove that at this point.” Celestia leans back in her seat, seemingly done with her explanation of the day’s events.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Putting the paper back down on the table, I can’t help but frown, locking my eyes with hers once again. “Who was it? Tony? Shawn? Celestia, you should know by now that those boys do nothing but torment my sister!” The anger I had tried to subdue from before comes back to my eyes, clenching my fist with a grimace. “But the moment she has had enough, she’s the one punished instead of the boys?! They have never gotten a single warning for torturing my sister!”

“Adagio, please. I did suspend the boys, but school procedures demand that I take some sort of action against your sister. Teasing doesn’t warrant an attack,” Celestia says, trying to reason with me.

“This is no mere teasing! Sonata is just a little girl and she is constantly told that she’s not good enough because she doesn’t have a ‘normal’ family!” Placing my hands on Celestia’s desk, I can’t help but sigh heavily, looking down at the wood surface.

“Are you saying that her hitting another kid is justified in this instance?” the principal asks me in a quizzical tone, my eyes not bothering to look back up at her.

“I know I would have done the same thing in her shoes.” My whisper comes out harsher than I mean it to, but I try to compose myself, standing back up. “Whatever. Punish the victim, right? What did you give her? A week off?” I ask in an annoyed tone, my eyes looking down at the tired school executive.

“I decided to suspend Sonata for two days… Adagio, I just want to say that I am trying to do more. I understand how hard you work for your sisters, so I have been trying to work around the loopholes to get Sonata away from those boys.” Her eyes tell me she’s telling the truth, but even if that is the case, I can’t help but feel like it’s a little too late. Turning around, I quickly walk towards the door, forcing my lips shut before I say anything else I may regret. “Adagio?” Celestia calls out to me before I open her door, swiftly walking out before I can listen to her for a second more.

“Come on,” I tell my sisters without making eye contact with them, keeping up my pace down the hallway. Quickly, their footsteps catch up with me, walking beside me as we exit the school. Why can’t we get a fucking break…?

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Opening the door to our apartment, Sonata slowly walks inside ahead of Aria and I, making her way to her room before I grab her shoulder. “Listen. We need to talk. Go wait in your room until I get there, okay?” I tell Sonata gently, receiving a small nod in return. Every nervous action of hers makes sense to me now… Her guilt and fear of being yelled at are probably at pretty high levels right now. But I wouldn’t yell at her… I would never treat her like that, especially since… I already had to deal with that before…

Quietly, our little sister walks off, leaving Aria and I in the living room. Once again, I kick off my boots with a sigh before I hear a chuckle from the teenager. “That’s rich,” Aria lets out before plopping herself on the couch without a care.

“What?” I ask her quietly, looking at the time with a disappointed gaze.

“You immediately assumed I did something wrong and now that it’s our ‘precious little sister,’ you treat her with such care and kindness,” Aria explains with a slight wave of her hand, her eyes staring at the ceiling. “Every time I get in trouble, you can’t wait to scold me and tell me how disappointed you are in me.”

“Damn it, Aria. Not this again…” Bringing my hand to my face, I bite my lip in an attempt to keep myself from saying anything else. This attempt easily fails, however… “You never fucking listen to me. Why would I be gentle with you when you’ve clearly shown you don’t care about me or a thing I say?” My exhausted tone makes my statement sound much more annoyed than I would have meant it to, causing Aria to look over at me.

“I do care about you…”

“You certainly don’t act like it.” Looking away from Aria, I can’t help but close my eyes, trying to take another deep breath just to control my emotions. I can’t afford to let myself get out of control…

“Whatever… I’m just saying that you’re awfully surprised that she did something bad, but you always assume I will do something wrong,” Aria sighs in an annoyed tone, trying to push my buttons again.

“Is it really that wrong of me to want Sonata to turn out better than you?” The words come out of my mouth faster than I could think, making me cover my mouth immediately afterward. Silence follows my words as I try to think of something to say, not a word coming from Aria. Quickly, I can hear her get up from the couch and run past me, making me look towards her direction. “Aria, I didn’t mean-” A loud slam coming from Aria’s bedroom door interrupts me, making me frown even more to myself. I let my anger get to me again… God damn it, Adagio… I didn’t actually mean that. I shouldn’t have said that. Aria means the world to me too, I just… feel so frustrated with her. Why can’t I do things right for them just once…?

Carry On

Chapter II: Carry On

Sonata moves her head back and forth to the music in the supermarket, sitting comfortably inside the cart. By now, she’s too old to sit in the seat provided by the shopping cart, but she likes acting like the cart is her pirate ship. Of course, she begged me to let her bring Mr. Thompson with us while we shop. I didn’t end up talking to Sonata yesterday about the consequences of her actions… I felt way too tired. Then again, that’s probably an excuse for me to try and avoid responsibility. I will talk to her when we get home though… “The cereal’s up ahead!” Sonata tells me while pointing a toy sword, a big smile on her face.

“Aye, Captain,” I tell her with a slight chuckle, pushing the cart forward to the selection of cereals. “We can only get one box though, so pick something both you and Aria will like.” Sonata’s eyes look towards me with a confused expression, hesitating to pick out a box for a moment.

“What about you, Adagio…?” Her question sort of breaks my heart… Her eyes stare into my soul, searching for some answer to satisfy the curiosity inside her little mind. The truth is that I don’t have a lot of money left from my paycheck after paying the bills, so I’m trying to prioritize food they can eat rather than treats. Those aren’t necessary, as much as I may want to buy them cookies.

“I don’t like cereal, sweetheart,” I lie to her as casually as I can, walking over to the side of the cart. “I prefer eating breakfast at work and all.” In my attempt to satisfy Sonata’s curiosity, my statement only seems to make her seem more confused.

“Work gives you breakfast?”

“All the time. It’s one of the perks of my job after all~” If only my job actually had perks like that… I get chewed out by my boss all the time and I never seem to get a break other than for lunch. Hell, that’s only around fifteen minutes… Now that Sonata’s suspended, I’m either going to have to find a babysitter or force Aria to stay home. I can’t quite afford to just leave work for tomorrow. Today was already my day off…

“Do they have blueberry waffles?” Sonata asks me excitedly, seemingly interested in this false narrative I’ve made.

“I’ll have to bring you by sometime to check, won’t I? For now, just make sure to pick out a cereal box you two will like, okay?” Sonata nods happily, picking out a typical name brand box with a bunch of sugar. Something kids would like a lot… Pushing the cart again, I look at the grocery list of items that we need, making sure to point us in the direction of the dairy products.

“Adagio?” Sonata asks me innocently, turning around in the cart to look at me. “Why isn’t Aria here…?” It’s true that we usually make these sort of trips together, so it’s not unexpected for Sonata to notice that fact. Aria stayed at school late, probably trying to avoid me and make sure I left for the store before she got back home. I don’t particularly blame her… I said something really mean to her the last time I saw her. Something I shouldn’t have ever said…

“Aria didn’t want to come, but you’ll see her again when we get home.” The next item on the list is milk. Hopefully, we can find one with an expiration date that isn’t in the next three days. I’d like these groceries to last us at least a week. Turning the cart down the aisle, my eyes scan the milk options slowly before picking out a carton with a reasonable expiration date. “Put this down next to the box of cereal, okay, Sonata?” I ask her, carefully handing the carton to her. Without protest, she nods and puts it exactly where I asked, showing the stark contrast between her and Aria. Aria would have argued with me for no reason… I… I don’t think Aria’s a bad person, she’s just… really hard to deal with. I suppose it’s because she’s a teenager… Almost an adult. “The last thing on the list is toothpaste. Do you remember what kind of toothpaste we get?” I ask Sonata in a slight hum, keeping her interested while we shop. A bored kid is the worst recipe for disaster in a supermarket. That’s something I had to learn first hand.

“Mhmm! I know what kind!” Sonata tells me with a big nod, turning back around in the cart and pointing down the aisle. “It’s that way!” Pushing the cart, a sly smile comes to my face, amping up the speed slightly. Sonata’s eyes widen at the sudden increase in speed, giggling at the sensation. “Faster!” In response to her statement, I push the cart even faster, going at a slight jog while I look at our surroundings. Being caught like this from an employee would be quite embarrassing. The air flows through my hair as we quickly make our way to the hygiene aisle, Sonata holding her hands out wide to feel the air. Despite how hard life can be at times, these small moments make you almost forget about the bad things. These tiny things that make you smile… That’s all I want for Sonata and Aria. To experience life with the perspective that it doesn’t all have to be bad. For now, it feels like I’ve been doing a terrible job at that… No matter how much I wish I could provide them with the perfect life, I can’t give them a true “family.” They won’t have parents like other kids and I can’t give them the newest toys… Even if I can’t give them the perfect life, I just hope Sonata can hold onto that childhood innocence for as long as she can… She needs to.

======================================================

“Sonata,” I whisper, bringing my hand to my forehead slowly. Sitting on her bed, I can’t help but feel anxious about this conversation. But I need to bring it up nonetheless… I can’t just let her get away with hitting someone else. Sitting beside me, Sonata looks at me curiously, her teddy bear still in her arms. “You know it’s wrong to hit someone, right?” A look of guilt comes over Sonata’s face, her eyes averting mine for the time being. No one ever told me raising a kid would be this hard… It’s even more difficult when I’m not actually her mother. I’m just her sister, yet I have to be in this authority position… It messes with my mind at times.

“Y-yeah…” Her voice is quiet and small, clearly knowing exactly what I’m getting at.

“Yesterday, you hit another person. I want to know why you did it,” I try to say as calmly as possible, keeping my hands on my knees. Despite every part of me wanting to stop this conversation and hold her close to me, I know that she needs to learn the consequences of hurting another person. Even if it was a bully… God… Why does she have to be punished for the one time she stands up for herself? Every day, those same boys torture her, telling her she doesn’t add up. No one wants to be her friend and I can’t do a damn thing about it… Yet I still have to punish her for hitting someone. Can she ever catch a break…?

“H-he… said some mean things,” Sonata whispers to me, looking at the floor of her bedroom. Her feet kick back and forth slowly, trying to distract herself from the lecture I’m about to give her.

“Can you tell me what he said?” I ask her with a soft tone. I want to pull her in and comfort her like I always do from what they said, but… this is one of the only times I’ve ever had to get on to her.

“They said that… you weren’t a good sister… That we weren’t a real family…” Looking at Sonata’s face, I can see a couple tears form, hiding her mouth behind her teddy bear. I know a thousand different ways our mother would have lectured us… All of which were things I promised to never do to Aria or Sonata… I don’t know if Aria was ever bullied like this. She’s kept a lot of things from me, but every time I hear this from Sonata, it breaks my heart. I’ve done so much to try and give them a “normal” childhood. To hear these kids just refute that and tell Sonata that she’s not good enough because of conditions outside of her control or mine is so… depressing.

“And that’s why you hit them?” To my surprise, Sonata shakes her head, her eyes still firmly locked on the floor. “What made you hit them?”

“T-they said that…” For a long moment, Sonata tries to tell me the rest of her statement, only to stop herself. Tears easily stream down her face without a sound coming from her… “t-that I’m… u-ugly…” Sonata stops controlling her emotions, letting herself cry in front of me. Her tears soak Mr. Thompson’s head and the only thing I can feel is rage. How could they say something like that to her…? Sonata always tries to be nice to everyone, even her bullies. All they want to do is see her cry…

“No, sweetheart. No,” I whisper, carefully grabbing her and bringing her up in my lap. “You’re not ugly at all. I promise. They’re just being mean because they don’t understand you.” Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her as tight as I can, feeling my anger only grow at the fact that Sonata was suspended for something like this… Hitting someone isn’t necessarily right, but… god damn, did they deserve it… Those little bastards… “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I promise. Just as beautiful as the siren princess.” Gently rubbing her shoulder, I feel Sonata’s cries slow down, her breathing become more steady as time goes on. No matter how much I try to give them as much as I can, the world still finds a way to spite their lives… Couldn’t the universe just make me miserable instead of them? “Sonata, hitting someone is wrong. You’re a good girl and I understand why you lashed out, but I want you to do something for me.” Sonata tilts her head upward and looks at me, curious by my statement. “Whenever you feel like hitting someone, I want you to remember what the siren princess would do, okay? I want you to remember that Aria and I will always be here at the end of the day. No matter what they say, we’re still a family, right?” Holding out my pinkie finger, I see a small smile come on Sonata’s face, nodding her head before locking her finger with mine. Despite how much she’s grown in the past few years, her hand is still smaller than mine, reminding me of how much farther we have to go.

“O-okay,” Sonata says with a slight sniffle, wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her pajamas.

“The next time you hit someone, I’ll have to punish you, but I’ll let you off with a warning this time~” I wink at the small blue girl in my arms, both of us giggling. “It’ll be our little secret~”

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The drugstore I work at is usually pretty packed… Every day, there’s a lot of sounds inside the store. Background music, beeping from the registers and the dozens of people talking at all hours of the day until we close. It doesn’t help that the drugstore has a bar that serves ice cream and soda at a pretty cheap price, making it the prime location for teenagers to hang out. I’ve even caught Aria in here once or twice with her friends, but she’s begged me to not talk to her when she’s with them. I guess having your older sister work at the drugstore is a pretty embarrassing fact for her… I’m not sure why since I’m doing what I can to earn money for us. Regardless, the store is usually pretty busy, giving me hardly any time to relax.

Today, I had to make Aria stay home to watch over Sonata… She wasn’t pleased at all, but I can’t really afford a babysitter in town and I don’t know if I really trust anyone else with Sonata. Especially since she’s pretty attached to us… Thankfully, I should be home earlier than usual since I wasn’t assigned the closing shift. Most of my shift is primarily restocking items and manning the cash register, so that’s not too difficult. I should have more than enough time to get home and cook both of them dinner before bed. We might even have the time to do something together like play UNO. Maybe it would help me apologize to Aria for what I said…

Moving a cart full of supplies down an aisle that provides bedding materials, I grab a couple of pillows from the top of the cart. Putting them on a shelf, I can’t help but notice a pretty princess bedding pack. Sonata has a pink blanket, but it’s starting to rip in certain areas… She would love something like that… Maybe when I get enough money… Pushing the cart again, I move into the gift aisle, putting some cheap toys on the shelves. The only other person in this aisle is a woman at the opposite end, looking at a particular shelf with a confused look. Her hair has hues of red and yellow, making it almost shine in the light. Usually, I don’t pay attention to customers, but her confused expression makes me a little curious… What could she be looking for…?

Leaving the cart for a moment, I walk down the aisle and look at the shelf she’s staring at. Nothing but toys I’ve seen a thousand times. Maybe she’s trying to buy a small birthday present…? That’s usually what people do when they come to this aisle. “May I help you?” I ask her as respectfully as possible, trying to be kind while doing my job. Her eyes slowly look over at me, a shocked expression coming over her instantly.

“A-Adagio?” she asks quickly, taking a step back. Do I know this woman…? Honestly, I can’t help but raise my eyebrow at her reaction. “W-what are you doing here?” she questions me nervously, seemingly in a defensive stance. What the…?

“Do I know you?” I ask her with my eyebrow still raised, feeling myself get even more confused as the seconds go by. What the hell is wrong with this woman?

“Y-you don’t remember…?” Within a second, her expression is almost as confused as I am, her stance becoming more relaxed. “We met at Canterlot High? I’m Sunset, remember?” Sunset…? Is she one of Sonata’s teachers? Or Aria’s?

“Are you one of the parents from the parent-teacher conferences?” My question only seems to make the woman more bewildered, her eyes staring at me as if I’m a freak.

“Um… No. We were both students there. A few years ago?” Students? Okay, this woman’s clearly got me confused for someone else… Maybe she read my name tag and thought I looked familiar.

“Lady, I was never a student at Canterlot High.”

A Different Kind of Struggle

Chapter III: A Different Kind of Struggle

It’s official. This lady has no idea what she’s talking about. I never went to Canterlot High, yet she is certain she met me there. Of course, Sonata and Aria have been going there for the last few years, so maybe she met me, but I’ve only ever been a guardian there. Not an actual student. The shocked look on her face almost makes me want to play along with her story, but it would be cruel to pretend I’m someone she knew.

“Oh? You didn’t…?” she asks me with a curious tone of disbelief, seemingly thinking it’s impossible that I’m not whoever she thinks I am. If there really was a student at Canterlot High who looked similar to me, I would be surprised. And had a similar name to mine… Then again, she could have read my name tag. “I… I apologize. I guess I have you confused for someone else,” she tells me quietly, looking to the floor. I don’t usually care for other people. Especially customers. If anything, no one else can understand what I have to go through, so it’s hard for me to be empathetic. The only people I look out for are the girls and myself. But… this woman’s downtrodden face upon realizing her mistake almost makes me feel… sad for her. I don’t know why if I’m being honest. Maybe it’s just one of those tiring days…

Taking a step closer to the strange woman, I look at the shelf she was searching once more. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I ask her again, trying to forget the awkward first impressions. “Is there a gift you’re trying to get for someone?” Sunset’s eyes look at me with surprise, seemingly interested that I’m still willing to help her.

“Well, um… I’m not really trying to get a gift for someone else. I was trying to buy myself something,” she tells me with a nervous smile, rocking her body back and forth. “It’s my birthday today and most of my friends live out of town, so… I was wanting a little celebration.” A blush comes to her cheeks, probably embarrassed about giving away so many details.

“You don’t have any family to celebrate with?” I ask her with a raised eyebrow, causing her to shake her head slowly.

“Unfortunately, no. I don’t. That’s why I’m buying myself a gift. I’m just not sure what I should get.” Sunset’s eyes return to the shelf, only making me ask more questions. Usually, people buy themselves things like towels or hygiene products. Maybe a treat of some kind. People don’t come to the toy aisle unless they want to buy a child a gift. It’s pretty… unique. Most people would call this woman pathetic or weird, but my experience with Sonata has taught me that toys aren’t necessarily restricted to a specific age. Sonata still plays with stuffed animals even though most of the kids her age have given them up.

“I see. Do you want some help deciding?” I ask her, prompting her to look towards me with a curious tone in her gaze. Her attitude still seems somewhat hesitant like when she first saw me, but she slowly nods to my offer.

“You know what? Sure, I could use some help,” she tells me with a smile spreading across her lips.

“You seem like a reserved person,” I say quietly, turning my gaze back to the toys. “Yet forward with your opinion. Relatively happy.” Happiness is a feeling I haven’t felt in a… long time. Between all the struggles with Sonata and Aria, our living arrangement and making sure they do well in school, it’s all a mess. It’s… refreshing to see a customer with a bit of happiness. Everyone seems so fake in this world. For some reason, she seems real. Not afraid to be herself. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your favorite color?” I ask her, keeping my eyes on the selection of toys in front of us.

“Oh? Um… It would probably be orange,” Sunset says nervously, almost like she hasn’t been asked that question in a long time. Looking at the selection of toys, I can’t help but notice one that stands out among the rest.

“Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong about this,” I tell her before grabbing a stuffed animal. The toy was a cutesy alligator with big magenta eyes, its body primarily colored in orange and yellow. “But I think this would probably be a good fit for you.” Handing her the stuffed animal, a surprised look comes over her face, gently touching the toy’s soft exterior.

“What made you think of this?” Sunset asks me, locking her eyes with mine. Usually, conversations with customers don’t get this personal, but I suppose I’ve never had a customer ask me to choose a present for them.

“You seem confident and happy. Your favorite color is orange. It’s just rudimentary honestly. None of the other animals on the shelf would probably be as confident as the alligator.” I should know. I’ve told a dozen stories to Sonata about animals, making personalities for each creature along the way. Maybe I’m just letting my bias get in the way, but she doesn’t have to take my suggestion. She could put the toy back on the shelf for all I care.

“You seem to have a lot of experience with this,” she tells me with a kind smile, seemingly interested in my choice. Why is she so keen on having a conversation with me? I’m not that interesting. Then again… It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to someone.

“Well, I have a little sister I tell stories to, so yeah… Kinda get used to stuffed animals and giving personalities to toys,” I tell her with a slight shake of my head, embarrassed at the fact that I instantly gave her toy a personality and made a story for it. “Anyway, you can disregard my suggestion. That’s just what I would pick for you.” Looking back down at the toy, Sunset simply shakes her head, holding it closer to her body.

“No, I think I will buy it~ Thank you~” she responds with a nod of her head, making me smile softly.

“Okay then. Tell me if you need any more help.” Without another word, I turn away from the woman, walking down the aisle and pushing my supply cart.

“It was nice to meet you, Adagio!” Sunset calls after me, making me feel a little odd. She is a… strange woman. Not necessarily in a bad sense. Just… strange.

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Opening the door to our apartment, I can hear music playing inside. It sounds like heavy rock music, echoing off the walls of our living room. Walking inside and closing the door behind me, I see Aria sitting on the couch, writing something down in a notebook. She’s not on her phone…? Or in her room? Even before our fight, Aria would always spend her time in her room, being a typically rebellious teenager. Walking over to the TV, I turn the volume of the music down, prompting Aria to look up at me. “Hey,” I say quietly, taking my coat off.

“Hi,” she blandly responds, looking back down at the notebook in her hands. Clicking her pen, she puts her notebook down and picks up the TV remote to pause her music. “Sonata? Adagio is here,” Aria calls out for our little sister, the sound of a door abruptly opening. With the speed of a comet, a blue blur runs into the room, colliding with my stomach and subsequently giving me a hug. If I wasn’t used to this, this blur would have scared me more than I would like to admit. And possibly push the air out of my lungs, but I’ve long since learned Sonata’s typical patterns of showing affection.

“Hi, Adagio! Are you doing okay?” Sonata asks me with bright eyes, looking up at me. Tomorrow is the day Sonata goes back to school, so she hasn’t really changed out of her pajamas all day. Picking her up and swinging her back and forth momentarily, I smile at sonata’s giggles before holding her close to me.

“Yeah, I’m alright~ I assume you’re probably ready for dinner, right?” I ask her, not feeling surprised to see her nod. Despite her small body, Sonata seems to have an insatiable appetite. It isn’t a bad thing by all means, but it sure does drain my wallet.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” Aria chips in with a monotone voice, stretching from her position on the couch. It’s surprising to see Aria is talking to me, considering what I said the last time we talked.

“I was thinking I could make us some homemade tacos tonight if everyone is up for that?” I say with a smile, preparing for the upcoming freakout.

“Tacos?!” Sonata exclaims with the excitement of a puppy, forcing herself out of my arms. “I have to change!” she tells both of us before running off towards her room, presumably going to find her taco pajamas.

“You can’t bring Mr. Thompson,” I call after her right before she slams her door shut. I would hate trying to clean grease stains out of her favorite stuffed animal. Slowly turning my gaze to Aria, both of us look at each other for a quiet moment. Nothing but silence passes between us before I get the nerve to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Aria. For what I said. I didn’t mean it.” Aria chuckles at my statement before giving me a smirk, slowly giving me a thumbs up.

“It’s whatever.” Getting up from the couch, Aria grabs her notebook and walks towards the hallway, stopping in front of me.

“It’s whatever? What does that mean exactly?” Seriously, what in the hell does that mean? Does it mean it doesn’t matter anymore? She doesn’t care? Or does my apology not matter.

“God, Adagio. You really are out of touch,” Aria tells me with a laugh before walking towards her room. Out of touch. With younger people, I suppose, but was I ever “in touch” with my own generation? No. Not really. I never had the chance to make friends. I always tried to take care of them instead. Even before I was providing for them, I was a bitch to everyone else.

Shaking my head, I walk towards the kitchen, thinking about the limited materials I have to make tacos. At least I can try to help Aria and Sonata make friends…

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Clicking my pen rhythmically, I try to think carefully about the numbers on the page. I asked Aria to take Sonata to bed, even though she probably wanted to text some of her friends. She took care of the dishes as well, so I can’t help but feel thankful for her. I’m still wondering why Aria has this change of attitude right now, but I’m not going to complain about it. Tonight, I have to finish the rest of my bills and taxes. That means I have to calculate just how much I owe all together… It’s a good thing that I’m pretty smart when it comes to these things. Just because I acted like a bitch back in school doesn’t mean I ignored my classes… Unfortunately, everything has been getting more expensive lately. All while my wage has stayed the same… If this keeps up, I may have to get a second job. I’m not sure how I will do it though… That would practically mean I wouldn’t be able to put Sonata to bed and I would have to leave for work well before dawn. God, I would barely be able to see the two of them…

But I guess that’s a sacrifice I would have to make, right? Not only do I have to pay these taxes, but I also need to find a way to afford our food and get their medication. Aria has to take insomnia medication and Sonata needs her anti-allergen pills. If I remember correctly, she’s allergic to certain types of paint and wild grass… Of course, the doctor told me she should be on these pills pretty much all the time to avoid a severe allergic reaction. This means I have two prescriptions that need to be refilled every month, but they’re not covered by our insurance… This society loves to fuck me over, doesn’t it? Someone like me, just trying to provide for their sisters.

“Two thousand,” I whisper to myself, writing down the number on a notebook paper I’ve been using to calculate everything. “Plus the two hundred for the water bill…” God… How could it be this much? With how much everything's adding up, I’m not sure I can… afford everything… I suppose I could skip another couple of meals over the month? But that wouldn’t save a lot… The only thing I can do is cut something out. Something substantial. But everything on this list seems essential…? Other than…

Marking out a line on the page, a heavy sigh exits my lips. I was really needing that, but it would save us a couple hundred dollars… I could always try to reschedule for later in the year, right? A dentist’s appointment can wait… As long as the girls get their teeth checked, mine can wait. Hopefully, I won’t have to make another cost cutting action like that…

Putting the paper down, I lean forward and place my face in my hands. No matter how much I try to avoid it, my heart stings. Every corner I turn, there’s another thing I need to sacrifice just so they can get the things they need. I’ve already given up a lot of my meals, worked overtime and even denied myself anything that might give me a little joy. Now I have to cancel my dentist appointment… Life is so… unfair. Taking a deep breath, I try to keep my wall up, feeling a couple tears fall into the palms of my hands. I wouldn’t take a thing back, but… I just wish I could have something. It’s been so long since I’ve smiled for myself. Not for the sake of Aria or Sonata. Not putting on a mask to keep everyone else happy. I would love to have a cherry cheesecake again. I would love to go to a theme park or go ice skating, but… that’s simply not an option. I can’t afford it.

I don’t deserve it… Maybe that’s what life is telling me… At this point, I can’t keep the tears from flowing, trying my best to keep my sobs down. The last thing I would want is to wake them up with my cries… They don’t need to worry. They don’t deserve to have that responsibility put on their shoulders. It’s my job to worry… I have to be the one to worry about them and keep us safe. It’s my job…

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Sliding a bottle of headache relief towards the back of the shelf, I try to avoid the urge to sigh at the pharmacy’s choice of music. The song playing currently is a hard rock rap song, grinding on my nerves easily. I don’t dislike rap, but the music is so loud and fast-paced, it sounds like a shredding static. That’s not music… Music is a composition of notes, lyrics, and with some sort of message behind it. Rap can be music, despite popular belief. Almost any medium can be music if it’s done correctly, but when it sounds like the composer doesn’t know the difference between a F-sharp and a B-flat, then it’s hard to take the song seriously. Honestly, the tune makes it sound like the writer was tone deaf. Music classes were probably my favorite subjects back in high school… Regardless, the song gets on my nerves…

Pushing the cart down the aisle a little more, I put some vitamin supplements on the top shelf. Those things get sold out so quickly… Even though they aren’t approved by the FDA, they are supposedly a miracle drug to help you get healthier and stay energized. Honestly? I don’t buy it. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Grabbing another few pill bottles, I put them on the bottom shelf, finding it awfully ironic that’s where the back pain pills go. Who in their right mind designed this structure? Making people who are already dealing with back pain have to bend down just to get medicine to help them. I’ve had quite a few days where my back hurt and I would have enjoyed the relief. Unfortunately, I can’t quite afford to spend money on things such as headache relief or back pain medicine.

“Um, excuse me?” a feminine voice says from my side, making me look over towards the source. Standing beside me is a woman with fiery hair, her cyan eyes locking with mine and greeting me with a kind smile. “Hey, I don’t know if you remember me, but-”

“Sunset, right? The weird girl,” I say with a chuckle, instantly remembering the last time I had talked to this woman. It was over a week ago that I met her, but her impression certainly stuck with me.

“Well, yeah,” Sunset responds with a giggle of her own, seemingly finding my joke funny. “Although, I’m sorry I was weird the last time we saw each other. I could have sworn I met you somewhere, that’s all.”

“You thought we had met in high school,” I tell her while restocking a few electric blankets before looking at her again. “What can I help you with today, Sunset?”

“Oh! Well, I was actually kind of wondering where the wrist braces are? I’m not exactly used to this store and all.” Raising my eyebrow, I can’t help but take a look at her arms, making sure her wrists are alright.

“Is your wrist injured? They look fine to me,” I say quietly, realizing I’m talking more personally to her. I should be addressing her questions like an employee.

“No no, I just sprain my wrist kind of often with the job I have, so I thought it might help if I got myself a new wrist brace, you know?” Sunset tells me with a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of her head. Huh. I wonder what her job is…

“Yeah, follow me,” I tell her with a smile, abandoning my supply cart to lead her to the wrist braces. Walking down a few aisles, my eyes scan the shelves, admittedly unfamiliar with the aisle. The store had just reorganized everything within the last three days, so the new location of the wrist braces isn’t exactly fresh to me. I know they’re in this aisle, but what shelf they’re on alludes me. Spotting the item, a smile comes to my lips, grabbing the small box and handing it to Sunset. “Here you go. One wrist brace. If you need two, don’t try to hustle us. My boss is very strict about that,” I tell her with a wink, causing her to chuckle at my joke. I’m not usually this chatty with customers. Nor do I tell them jokes, but I guess I can relate to her a little bit.

“Thank you so much~ This will really help with any sprains I get in the future,” Sunset tells me with a bigger smile, my eyes focusing on her happy expression.

“It’s my pleasure. I’m always here to help,” I tell her with a slight bow, making her laugh again before I turn around, walking away from the strange woman. Honestly, it’s sort of… fun to see her laugh. For some stupid reason. She’s still strange, but it’s still nice to talk to someone.

“Hey, Adagio…?” I hear her call to me, making me look back at the fiery-haired woman. Her eyes are filled with hesitation, but she nervously chuckles, walking towards me. “I know this may sound stupid, but… do you maybe want to hang out sometime? As friends…?” Sunset fidgets with her body, clearly nervous to ask me that. “I’m sorry for being so forward. I was just wondering.” Friends, huh…? I haven’t had a friend since high school… Even then, those were fake friendships. I was a manipulative liar and they didn’t stick by me. Ever since then, I haven’t hung out with anyone or talked to anyone personally. I’m used to being alone, but… this strange woman never fails to surprise me. We’ve only met twice and she wants to be my friend.

Normally, I would reject her offer and go about my day, but… for some reason, I don’t want to refuse. “Why not?”

Something New

Chapter IV: Something New

“Really?” Sunset asks me with wide eyes, surprised to hear my response. Honestly, both times I’ve met her, I can’t predict what she’s going to do next. She’s so strange. Surprising…

“Yeah. Why not? I haven’t really done anything with someone in the last few years,” I tell her with a shrug before looking at the clock on the wall. “Although, I don’t think I can talk much more about it right now. I have a tight shift I need to complete and all.” An embarrassed expression comes to Sunset’s face, realizing just how much time I’ve been away from my cart.

“Oh! Sorry. I didn’t mean to take you away from your work and all. Would you maybe like to exchange phone numbers or…?” she asks me slowly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Her eyes connect with mine, curious to see my response.

“Sure. We can do that.” Turning my phone on, I navigate the screen to my settings, finding my number rather easily. Turning the screen towards Sunset, her eyes look at the number before she quickly inputs it into her phone. A smile comes to her face right as my phone buzzes, making me look at the notification. A text from an unidentified number simply tells me “hi” with a smiley face.

“There we go~ Do you mind if we talk later tonight to set up a time we can hang out?” She asks me with a slight shake of her phone, ultimately turning on the flashlight and blinding her in the process. “Oh shi-” she whimpers with a slight shake of her head, making me laugh quietly. I don’t even know why this woman wants to hang out with me, but she seems friendly enough. The fact that she’s pretty funny helps with that fact.

“You alright there?” I ask her with a chuckle, trying to keep in my laughter as much as I can. Turning off the flashlight, Sunset blinks her eyes a couple times, making sure she can still see the world around her.

“Yep~ Totally good. Just surprised, that’s all~” she tells me with a smile, giving me a thumbs up. Looking at my phone again, I slowly type something in, sending her a message. Her phone instantly vibrates, making her inspect the message before grinning at my text. “Great~! Then I’ll talk to you later tonight~”

“You’re awfully strange, you know that, Sunset?” I tell her with a raised eyebrow, slightly rolling my eyes sarcastically.

“I’ve been told that before~”

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Closing Sonata’s door as quietly as I can, I can’t help but smile at how easily she was put to bed tonight. She didn’t have a bad day at school and all she needed was a simple bedtime story before I tucked her in. Aria went to bed right after dinner, seemingly not in the mood to talk. I’m a little worried that she isn’t having a good time, but I will try to talk to her about it tomorrow. For now, the two of them should get as much rest as they can get. I would go to bed myself, but there are two main reasons I’m staying up for a little while longer. I’m not usually able to sleep that well at night anyway due to my constant worrying, but I also have someone I need to talk to.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I quickly make my way to my room, turning off the hallway light as I go. It’s practically pitch black in my room, but I know the layout like the back of my hand. Closing my door, I walk over and fall down on my bed, turning my phone on. Unlike Aria, I’m not going to use my phone to use up our internet in the middle of the night. Instead, I’m just going to make a quick little call. The bright blue light projects down on my face, a bunch of small icons for apps showing up on my homescreen. My background is a picture of Sonata a couple years ago, getting ready to ride a roller coaster with Aria. That was when I saved a lot of money for us to have a vacation… Navigating to the phone app, I click Sunset’s number quickly. Hitting the call button, I bring the phone to my ear, once again casting the room in darkness. For a few moments, the loud ringing fills my ear, making me count the seconds.

The sound of a click signifies the call being answered. “Hello?” Sunset’s voice resonates into the microphone, making me think about how long it’s been since I’ve called someone just for fun. Most of the time, I just get calls discussing why one of the girls is in trouble this week, so it’s a bit refreshing to get a call like this.

“Hey, this is Sunset, right?” I ask with a curious tone, making sure it’s the right person.

“Oh, hey, Adagio~ Yeah, it’s me. I was wondering when you were going to call,” Sunset tells me with a slight chuckle, a relaxed tone in her voice. “How was your night?”

“I just got done with dinner, so I’m about to go to bed, honestly,” I tell her with a soft sigh, closing my eyes and kicking my feet outward. I don’t dare to pull the blanket over me, wanting to enjoy the cold air for just a moment longer.

“Oh? Well, we don’t have to talk now if you’re tired? We can schedule a time some other day,” Sunset tells me with a sympathetic voice, making me chuckle.

“No, it’s fine. Really. I’m awake enough to discuss.” Running my fingers through my hair, I try to think about the upcoming week, taking a deep breath. I haven’t done something fun with someone else in a long time… To be honest, I’m a little nervous. Then again, it wasn’t hard to make friends back in high school, but they weren’t real friends. “Are you free on Thursday?”

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Today is the only day I have off for the whole week. Thursday. Even though I promised I would meet Sunset, Sonata asked me if she could have a playdate. She has such a hard time making friends that I can’t really refuse. I’ll still have time to meet Sunset later today. Hell, I’m not even sure why she wants to be my friend in general. Maybe she really is that lonely. Regardless, today is a busy day. I’ve been doing my best since eight in the morning to make everything perfect for Sonata’s playdate. Every square inch of the apartment is clean and I’ve made a plan for what they will eat for lunch. Everything has to be perfect for her. She deserves to have at least one good playdate.

My back hurts so much now… After cleaning everything, I can’t help but ache all over. Whenever Sonata is near, I try to keep a brave face, making sure she doesn’t feel bad for asking for a playdate. I even called in one of my favors with my coworker, getting a few balloons the two of them can play with. Aria’s pretty much told me she will be staying in her room the whole time Sonata has her friend over, but that’s pretty much expected of her at this point. If Sonata can make a friend, maybe she won’t be so sad anymore. Maybe she won’t be bullied all the time and I won’t have to see her on the verge of tears almost every night. I didn’t give myself the luxury to make many friends after I got them out of that place, but a friend would really help Sonata’s self-esteem.

Washing my hands in the kitchen sink, I sigh heavily, trying to get the last jitters out of my system. I haven’t had a mom trust me with her child before, so this playdate is also pretty big for me. No one seems to like me at the parent meetings at school due to the fact that I’m not actually Sonata and Aria’s mother. Then again, we’ve never really had a mother… A true one… Regardless, it’s a big milestone for Sonata to invite another kid over here and for their mom to actually trust me with this responsibility. I’ve already contacted her and told her all the details for the playdate, arranging a time for her child to be picked up. If things go well enough, maybe all the other parents won’t look at me so weirdly at the conferences anymore. And maybe Sonata can start making friends. I have a sneaking suspicion that at least some of the kids avoid Sonata due to their parents’ influence…

“Are you ready for your playdate?” I ask as I enter the living room, looking at the small blue girl on the couch. Both of her arms hold onto her stuffed animal tightly, kicking her legs back and forth slightly as if she’s nervous about this.

“M-mhmm,” Sonata quietly responds, biting her lip slowly. Honestly, it’s almost ironic to see the struggles Sonata is dealing with right now. Someday, nervousness will seem like the least of her worries, but in her child mind, it’s her whole world right now. Sonata made sure to wear one of her cutest dresses, trying to impress the girl she invited over here.

Walking over to the couch, I sit down beside Sonata, pulling her close to me. “Are you going to show her Mr. Thompson?” I ask her with a smile, poking her teddy bear for a moment. Sonata simply gives me a nod, still looking at the door with a nervous expression on her face. “Are you scared, sweetheart?” I ask her, pulling her onto my lap. Sonata still kicks her legs back and forth, holding her bear a little tighter.

“Y-yeah,” Sonata whispers, her shoulders getting a little less tense as I wrap my arms around her. Rocking her in my arms, I gently rest my head on hers, trying to think of what to say.

“What exactly is scary about this? Can you tell me?” I already know several reasons why she might be scared about this playdate, but I want to hear it from her. I want her to explain it so that we can address it together and make a plan on how to conquer her fears.

“I-I haven’t done this yet,” Sonata whispers, looking towards the floor. “Everybody bullies me a-and… I don’t want to be bad and cause that.”

“I see,” I respond to her with an equally quiet tone, still holding her close to my body. “New experiences are always scary, Princess. Even for adults.” Sonata’s eyes look up towards mine, clearly confused by my statement.

“But adults don’t get scared?” she tells me, trying to justify her previous understanding. Yet she’s still curious about what I said.

“Not true~ Adults get scared all the time. We just get scared of different things, not like monsters.” Poking her nose, Sonata giggles slowly, seemingly finding this conversation funny.

“Because you’re big enough to fight them?” she asks me with wonder in her eyes, wanting to know what adults are scared of.

“Precisely~ But the main point is that new things are scary for everyone. I’m sure the girl you invited here is just as nervous as you, but once you two get to know each other, it won’t be that scary anymore~” Rubbing her head with a chuckle, I can’t help but smile at Sonata’s giggles. “Also, I’m absolutely sure you won’t be bad enough to make her bully you, sweetheart~ You do everything you can to make someone feel included and I’m sure she will like playing with you~” The nervous expression comes back to Sonata’s face, briefly looking towards the door as she thinks of something to say. Clearly, she has been affected a lot by the bullying she’s endured…

“Promise?” she slowly asks me, extending her pinkie finger out to me, an offer I quickly accept.

“Pinkie promise~” Just as I wrap my finger around hers, the doorbell rings, making Sonata look at the door.

“Oh! She’s here!” she exclaims before jumping off my lap and running to the door. Despite how nervous she is, she still seems pretty excited to get this playdate started. Getting up off the couch, I walk over to the door, opening it to see a small yellow girl, orange hair neatly brushed with small blue bows on each side of her head. The bows compliment her eyes well. Clearly, her mom knows a lot about styling a child’s hair. Looking towards the parking lot, I see Mrs. Cake give me a big wave from her car, returning the wave with a smile.

“Sonata, aren’t you going to invite her in?” I ask her with a wink, causing Sonata to jump slightly.

“Oh! Yeah! Come in,” Sonata tells the girl while aiming one of her arms into our apartment. The girl walks inside our apartment, Sonata eagerly closing the door behind her. Crouching down to look her in the eye, I hold my hand out towards her.

“You must be Pumpkin Cake, huh? It’s nice to meet you~” Taking my hand slowly, Pumpkin Cake smiles and nods.

“Mhmm! I’m glad to meet you too! What’s your name?” she asks me innocently, surprising me that Sonata didn’t tell her about me. If Sonata didn’t mention me, did she talk about Aria?

“I’m Adagio~ Sonata’s-”

“Mom!” Sonata interjects, hugging me from the side. Did she just say… mom? Why? Looking at Sonata, a nervous expression is painted across her face, smiling at Pumpkin Cake. “This is my mom~ Do you want to meet my big sister too?” Sonata still holds onto her teddy bear as Pumpkin Cake nods, grabbing her hand. “Great! Her name is Aria~ She’s a bit of a grump though, so yeah,” Sonata tells her friend, bringing her down the hall towards Aria’s room. Within a moment, I’m left alone, pondering what just happened. Why did Sonata just call me her mom…? Standing up, I can’t help but sigh, feeling puzzled by the whole situation. I know she was bullied before since she didn’t have parents, but… I didn’t think she would tell someone I’m her mom. Is she embarrassed of me? Of the fact that I’m her older sister? Practically everyone knows we’re sisters, so is it really worth it to lie to her new friend…?

Looking towards the floor, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. She’s probably just trying to save face. Trying to avoid more differences that could cause her to be ostracized from others. Even still, it almost… hurts to hear her say that. In a way, I am the closest thing Sonata and Aria have to a mother, but… I don’t want them to feel embarrassed about the fact that I raised them. That I’m their sister… Maybe I should have told everyone that they were my children. Then Sonata wouldn’t be bullied so often. Is everything my fault…?

I’ll play along with her lie. Just as long as she gets to make a friend…

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“Goodbye, Pumpkin!” Sonata calls out to the yellow girl leaving our apartment, walking towards her mom’s car. Both of us wave to them before I close the door, making sure to lock it behind us. It’s only three in the afternoon and it already feels like it’s been a long day. My whole body feels tired and exhausted, wanting to collapse on the couch. Sonata, on the other hand, still seems relatively active, seemingly jumping around with excitement from her playdate. “That was so much fun!” Sonata tells me with a big grin on her face, rocking her teddy bear back and forth quickly.

“I’m glad you had fun, Sonata~” I say with an understanding tone, picking up the paper plates off the coffee table. The two girls ate their lunch in the living room so that they could watch TV. Primarily, a cartoon full of powerful princesses and an evil alien army called the Horde. I’ve never really been a fan of it, but it’s hard to not know some details about the show when Sonata is a big fan of it.

“I’m going to clean up~!” Sonata tells me with her grin still plastered on her face, referring to her room. I should have known two girls would make a huge mess, but at least Sonata is willing to clean up after herself. Sonata runs off towards her room just as I enter the kitchen, throwing away the paper plates. Looking around at the kitchen, I can’t help but sigh at the mess. A couple of pots are still dirty from making the two of them lunch and wrappers for crackers are littered all over. Normally, I don’t let Sonata eat this much in one day, but today is an exception.

Picking up a couple wrappers, I drop them into the trash can, noticing the crumbs on the floor. The sound of footsteps makes me look towards the entrance to the kitchen. Walking into the room, Aria takes a bite out of a cracker she has in her hand before widening her eyes at the mess. “Holy crap. What atomic bomb went off in here?” she asks me with a laugh, putting her phone away.

“Two little girls on a playdate, that’s what,” I tell her with a roll of my eyes, humoring her. Aria walks further into the messy kitchen, taking a glass from the cupboard and pouring herself a cup of water.

“You handled that well,” Aria tells me with a chuckle, taking a sip of her water and watching me clean up some more of the wrappers.

“Well, I wanted Sonata to have a fun playdate.” Grabbing the broom from next to the fridge, I sweep up the crumbs on the floor before I dare move on to the pots.

“Yeah, it was an… interesting playdate,” Aria whispers, drinking more of her water with a curious look in her eyes. “Sonata called you ‘mom’ the whole time her friend was over here. What was that about?”

Freezing in my tracks, a big sigh exits my lips, dumping the crumbs into the trash. “Sonata wanted to save face,” I tell her quietly, keeping my eyes towards the floor. Walking over to the pots, I grab them and move them to the sink. Even though I played along with her lie, it hurt a little when she called me that… It was almost like she was embarrassed of us being sisters. Of me… I try my best to be there for the girls and give them what they need, but I suppose the fact that I’m their sister still makes it a bit worse.

“Save face from what? Afraid she might be ridiculed for not having parents?” Aria laughs a little, sitting on top of the counter. “I already embraced that. I don’t have parents and it makes me different from everyone else. So what?”

“Sonata’s more sensitive about that topic… She gets bullied a lot for it, so she wanted just one time where she could make a friend without them looking at her as if she’s a freak. If anything, I think she deserves the peace.” Washing one of the pots, I can’t help but feel numb to the whole ordeal. It’s hard. Being the guardian of my two younger sisters. I’ve had to sacrifice a lot, but this whole playdate has almost made me feel that I haven’t sacrificed enough. Maybe it would have been better if I just let Sonata tell everyone I’m her mom from the start. Then she wouldn’t be bullied for that. “Do you mind if you finish up here?” I ask Aria, making her raise an eyebrow.

“Huh? Where are you going?” she asks me with a confused expression. I don’t usually ask her to finish up chores for me, but this is a special case.

“I need to meet up with someone.” Walking away from the sink, I pull my boots on, Aria following me slowly.

“You never go out to meet someone,” she tells me with a suspicious look.

“I know, but today is different.” Pulling my coat on, I take a deep breath before grabbing my keys and walking towards the door. “Just look after Sonata till I come back. And for the love of god… Don’t burn the apartment down.”

Dreams Have Big Expectations

Author's Note

DISCLAIMER: This chapter includes references to past abuse within a family context. Examples include belts, hitting, scalding water, cigarette burns, verbal abuse, and negligence. If you do not want to read this, I would suggest you should skip this chapter or story altogether. It is only a passing reference, so no detailed act is explained. You have been warned.

Dreams Have Big Expectations

Chapter V: Dreams Have Big Expectations

I’ve never really gone to this park before… It’s a place that’s on the other side of the city from my apartment, so it’s not really a place I’m that eager to go to. It’s cute enough I suppose. It has quite a few trees, some playground equipment and large open areas for people to walk in. It’s almost like one of those parks straight out of a cheesy love movie or some slice-of-life flik from a few years ago. Regardless, this is where Sunset wanted to meet, so I came here. Let’s just hope she’s not planning on kidnapping me.

Chuckling to myself, I slowly walk into the park, getting myself acquainted with the area. Seriously though. I haven’t known Sunset for too long. This meetup is supposed to be just a fun little get-together where we can learn more about each other. She seems nice enough. Maybe we can actually be friends. Even though I find it hard to believe that I could make a friend. I have way too many responsibilities and I don’t have the best record of being nice to people. Besides, I haven’t had a friend… well, I’ve never had a true friend. Maybe it just isn’t in the cards for me. I just hope Aria and Sonata can make friends. And keep them…

Looking up at the playground equipment in front of me, I see a couple of kids playing together, running around and having a good time. That’s what I want for Sonata… Aria already had to deal with quite a bit of trauma holding her back from enjoying her childhood to the fullest, but Sonata? She should have those chances… I want to give those to her…

As soon as one of the kids hits the other one with a stick, one of the moms gets off the bench, yelling at them. Her eyes are full of anger as she grabs her kid, pulling them away from the playground. All this chaos within a second. Is that normal…? Is it normal for mothers to get so angry? To delve into chaos at a moment’s notice? A shiver goes up my spine… For a mother to yell at her children when they do something wrong. When they do anything at all… The wind’s speed increases, cool air brushing my neck. Is it normal for parents to miss their child’s doctor appointments? To forget to pay the dues for a field trip simply because she wanted to get high? Is it normal for the water and electricity to be shut off frequently due to late bills…?

Maybe it is… Maybe it’s normal to feel that sense of dread throughout your childhood… Whenever you speak out against them, it’s normal to feel the wall hit the back of your head or for her hand to hit your cheek… Whenever someone asks about the marks, you have to make some excuse. “I fell!” or “I was playing too rough.” They’re all the same… She tells you that if you don’t make an excuse, she’ll hurt you even worse. Or your siblings… Biting my lip, I try to ignore the cold and the unbearable thoughts. Scalding water if you dared take her money… No food if you came home late… The belt or her hands were always the go to for any other offense… It wasn’t normal. No part of my childhood was normal… I didn’t get to have friends over. I didn’t get to go on field trips. Every day of my life was spent looking after Sonata and Aria… I took most of the punishment for them.

Even if they didn’t do anything wrong, sometimes dear old mom needed a punching bag… Sometimes her life was way too hard so she punished us for it… I can still hear the sound of her screams. The sound of the belt… My hand clenches into a fist, despite how much I try to let go. I promised I would never scream at Aria and Sonata… I promised I would never lay a finger on them. That woman wasn’t a mother in any sense other than biological. She was a monster… It scares me to think I came from someone like her… Why does she have to affect my life this much? I’m not scared of her coming back. I got Sonata, Aria and I away from her. We’ll never see her again. That should be solace enough, right?

No… I have to see her face in my darkest moments. I have to hear her snarls and remember the heavy smell of alcohol… She haunts my every living moment… What did I do to deserve all that torture? What did the girls do? If she really wanted someone to beat up so bad, why didn’t she exclusively focus on me? She focused on all three of us, making me have to get in the way and save them from whatever she was planning… That’s not normal. It can’t be normal to have that kind of monster as a parent. The one thing she was able to do to Sonata was push the butt of her cigarette on Sonata’s skin… It’s barely visible now and she can’t remember it, but I took the rest of the abuse for her since then. She didn’t deserve it… Aria didn’t deserve it. Maybe I did… It’s so hard to not think of her screams… Her belt. I will never have the warm embrace of a parental figure… Someone to tell me I’m doing a good job. At least I can try to give that to the girls. To tell them they’re still doing good and be there for them…

“Adagio?” a voice refers to me, breaking me from my thoughts. Looking to my right, a woman with fiery hair greets me with a smile, seemingly happy to see me. “How are you doing?” she asks kindly, almost removing all the memories that my mind just brought up…

“Sunset, hey,” I say quietly, shaking her hand with a nod. “I’m doing well. This is a neat park you wanted to meet at,” I tell her while looking at our surroundings, trying to distract myself from what my mind was just thinking about.

“Yeah, I visited this park a lot when I came to this worl-” Sunset immediately stops herself mid sentence, nervously clearing her throat. “I-I mean, when I came to this country.”

“Were you about to say ‘world?’” I ask her with a chuckle, once again seeing Sunset struggle with her words. Is she always this strange? “Pretty big mess up there, don’t you think?” I tease her with a jab of my elbow, both of us walking further into the park together.

“W-well, yeah! I mean, it’s kind of like a different world, you know? Going from one country to another.” Her eyes look up towards the sky, making me a little curious about her life. She’s from another country. Is that why most of her friends aren’t around here? That would explain why she’s so eager to make friends here.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been out of the country. Where are you from if you don’t mind me asking?” Sunset’s eyes widen at my question, nervously scratching her head. Her eyes look around us, clearly anxious about my question. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I was just curious, that's all.”

Reconnecting her gaze with mine, a surprised look comes from her eyes, yet she still seems… happy. “Thank you for understanding~ It’s kind of… a sensitive topic right now.” Patting my shoulder, Sunset giggles slightly, both of us walking underneath the gazebo at the center of the park. Without the sun bearing down on us, the fall wind feels even cooler, brushing through my hair. “In the same vein, you don’t have to answer any question you’re not comfortable with. Do you mind if I ask you something?” A genuine look comes from Sunset, wanting to know my honest opinion. It can’t hurt, right? Nodding my head, an eager look comes over her face, turning her body towards me. “Alright. So, you said you had a little sister when we first met. What’s her name?” she asks me with a curious stare.

She’s interested in my family members? Huh. I didn’t think she would ask that. If anything, I thought she might ask me something about my interests. “I have two younger sisters. One of them is almost eleven and her name is Sonata. The other is seventeen. Her name is Aria.” Upon hearing my statement, a look of what can only be described as a mix of shock and confusion comes over her face, raising her eyebrow at me.

“Sonata and Aria…?” she asks me with disbelief, seemingly thinking a lot about their names.

“Um… Yeah. Is that a problem?” I ask her with a confused tone. Why does she seem to have this much of a reaction to their names? She’s never even met them before from my knowledge. Unless they met her at school?

“N-no! Not at all. They just sound like… familiar names,” Sunset says slowly, her eyes looking towards the floor. “You said Sonata’s eleven? Does she like typical ‘girly’ stuff or is she into other things?” The previous look of enthusiasm and curiosity returns to Sunset’s face, making me question why she had such an adverse reaction to their names. Maybe she’s already met a Sonata and Aria in the past and disliked them.

“Well, she’s kinda in the middle. She likes princesses, but she also likes superheroes from time to time. She also primarily plays with stuffed animals, unlike her classmates.” Walking over to a bench, I sit down with her, still taking advantage of the shade.

“Oh? Then what’s Aria like?”

“A rebellious teenager who hangs out with the wrong crowd. What can you do though?” I say with a heavy sigh, thinking of Aria’s trouble in the past year. “Though, she can be sweet on some days. It just depends with her.” Leaning my head on the back rest of the bench, I look up at the ceiling of the gazebo.

“Oh? I see. I never had siblings, so I’m not quite sure what that’s like. What about your parents?” Parents… That word still sometimes hurts these days. It’s supposed to be normal to have parents, but that was an aspect of my life I never had.

“We don’t really… have parents,” I tell her quietly, taking a deep breath of fresh air. “I’m the closest thing to a mom they have, honestly. Hell, Sonata had her first playdate today and she referred to me as her mom to her friend.”

“Why did she do that? Does she see you as her mom?” Sunset asks me curiously, leaning on the bench’s backrest and aiming her body towards me to give me all of her attention.

“No, she sees me as a big sister. She’s trying to save face in front of her friend since she’s been bullied since she’s being raised by her sister and not her actual parents.” It’s not the only reason she’s bullied… Sonata is bullied for being too kind, noisy, and unique. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to stop that fact. Why do children have to be so mean to each other…?

“Sonata gets bullied?” Sunset asks me slowly, an understanding and sympathetic tone to her stare. “Do you want to talk about it?”

=============================================================

“So, your friends used to live here?” I ask Sunset as we walk down the sidewalk, making our way through the city. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how our conversation has gone this far. We’ve been talking for hours, just aimlessly walking to pretend we’re doing something more meaningful than talking. Perhaps it seems a little… pointless. To everyone else, if you say you spent hours talking to someone, they instantly ask if you had anything more productive to do. Sunset told me about how she attended Canterlot High and how she had quite a bit friend group back then. But now, it seems they don’t live here anymore.

“Yeah, we all lived here. We were all different in a way. Some of us were outgoing. Some of us were shy. But we were all friends. Now everyone is going off in their separate direction except for Applejack. Her farm still matters a lot to her.” Sunset kicks a pebble down the sidewalk, sighing quietly to herself. “But we still meet with each other every year. We keep in touch and we go on trips to catch up and keep our friendship alive.”

“That sounds draining,” I tell her slowly, looking at her with a slight smile on my face. Honestly, if I was in her situation, I wouldn’t know what to do. Something like that would drain my energy so fast, making me wonder whether or not we’re still friends when we do see each other.

“Exactly,” Sunset says with a deep exhale, seemingly happy that I understand her. Her warm smile returns to her face, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Thank you. For being so understanding.”

“Hey, we all have our struggles. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not natural,” I tell her with a chuckle, pushing her slightly. Both of us giggle slightly at the situation, the orange and purple sky making her hair almost glimmer.

“Oh yeah? Then what’s one of your struggles? Besides you raising your sisters by yourself. God knows that’s many struggles combined in one,” Sunset teases me with a wink. She’s right though. Raising them is a big struggle of mine. One I’ve talked about way too much during this conversation, so it wouldn’t hurt to try and think of a different struggle.

“I… often feel over confident in myself.” Looking towards the sky, I try to remember some of my school days, pushing the memories of my mother away. “I had an attitude that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. Hell, my ego still sometimes gets to me. It’s something I’ve gotten better with over time, but I still sometimes slip into that mindset.”

“Overconfident, huh? Well, I can understand that actually. I used to be like that, but that issue has basically been killed.” Looking at Sunset, I can’t help but feel curious about what she just said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

“What happened?” She used to be overconfident in herself too, huh? I wonder what could have “killed” that part of herself. Especially since she seems perfectly confident and determined now.

“Well, I… was kinda one of the mean girls back in high school. I bullied quite a few people and all, but… I got served a taste of my own medicine in a sense. Now, I’m here.” Sunset’s eyes look up at the sky with a solemn smile spreading across her face. “I’m not like that anymore, just so you know. I’m just trying to be the best person I can be.” This whole day has been really… nice. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to talk to someone like this, so I wasn’t worried Sunset would still be like that. She’s obviously a kind and trusting person.

“Everyone makes mistakes, Sunset. I don’t think you’re a bad person. Far from it.” Walking a few steps in front of her, I offer my hand to her, trying to give her the best smile I can. “I hate to say this, but I do have to go now. I had a lot of fun, Sunset. Really. Maybe we can do this again sometime?” Looking at my hand for a moment, Sunset takes my offer and shakes my hand, giggling to herself.

“Of course~ I’d love to~”

==========================================================

The roaring sound of applause fills the summer air. The sun shines down on everyone, the beautiful colors of nature surrounding us. Everyone sits in front of the big stage, waiting patiently to watch each participant walk up and accept their reward. Every participant wears their black cloak and square hats, a prideful smile spread across their lips. Even though the attire looks ridiculous, everyone is so happy at this moment. I can’t help but feel tears come to my face, knowing what’s coming up. It’s time. All this time of raising them, helping them grow and giving them all I can has paid off. Now, here we are, waiting for the big moment.

I stayed up all night last night just to make sure my camera is working. I don’t want to miss this moment. Being able to capture it and relive it in the future will be priceless. I’m sure they won’t be as enthusiastic as I am when they see me taking pictures, but they will thank me later. Right? The fact that we’re even standing here today is a sign that we’ve done well for ourselves. I… did well. I did everything I could to help them live a normal life and this is the reward I get. Getting to see the happy smiles on their faces as they walk on that stage, ready to start a new chapter in their lives. If only dear old mom could see us now. See how far they’ve made it. From all the abuse and hate, they’re standing proud. You didn’t break them like you wanted. Maybe you broke me, but you didn’t get to break them.

The applause roars again just as the announcer calls the two names I’ve been waiting for this whole time, making me stand up quickly. Taking my camera out, tears run down my cheeks. I feel so happy for them. So proud. Seeing them walk out on that stage with their big smiles only makes me more confident I did the right thing. Their hands wave in the air, seemingly laughing from all the emotions in the air. Taking their diplomas, both Aria and Sonata look towards me, waving at me. The snap of my camera can barely be heard, my heart pounding. I’m so proud of you. Sonata struggled with so much bullying and hate. Aria, you struggled with all of that combined with the effect of a bad group of friends and narcotics. You’ve both done so well~

“Adagio?” Sonata’s voice calls out my name in a quiet tone, despite the distance between us. Did I mishear…? “Are you awake?” Opening my eyes, an almost pitch black room is all I can see, my mind feeling dizzy and disoriented. What…? Shaking my head slightly, I turn my gaze behind me, looking towards my door. The light from the hallway spills into my room, showing a silhouette of a small girl holding a teddy bear. Her blue skin is barely visible due to the bright light, making me squint my eyes.

“Sonata? Is everything alright?” Sitting up in my bed, I rub my eyes, trying to wake up as fast as I can. Time to move, Adagio. If she needs you, it’s time to wake up. “What happened?” Sonata doesn’t say anything for a moment, just standing in my doorway with her eyes staring at the floor. Her body fidgets back and forth, seemingly uncomfortable standing there, but she’s still reluctant to move forward.

“I-I… had a nightmare,” Sonata barely lets out, a crack in her voice interfering with her sentence. Within a moment, tears start flowing from Sonata’s eyes, crying on the spot.

“Sweetie, come here~ It’s alright, I promise~” The light in the hallway finally turns off, Sonata shutting the door behind her before running towards my bed. Grabbing her by the sides, I quickly pull her up onto the bed, holding her next to me. Her cries get slightly louder as she holds onto me, hugging both me and Mr. Thompson. Her tears dampen my shirt, but it’s hard to care about that when my main priority is helping her feel better. Running my fingers through her hair and keeping her body as close to mine as possible, I quietly take a deep breath in and gently shush Sonata. “Shhh. It’s alright~ I’m here. I won’t leave~” Her breaths, once rapid and erratic, are now deep and almost stable. Even though her tears don’t stop, her breaths are more calm than before. No other sound can be heard other than us. Rubbing the back of her head, I kiss Sonata’s forehead and move her to my lap, slowly rocking her back and forth. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” I ask her with a soothing tone, trying to do everything I can to calm her down. After a moment with no response, Sonata shakes her head, leaning on me with a couple of sniffles coming from her. Perhaps it is the best course of action to avoid the dream altogether. I don’t want to make her relive a nightmare that was clearly scary enough to make her come to my room. “Alright~ Would you like to hear another story? You can also sleep in my bed so that I can protect you if you want.” Without even waiting a second, Sonata quickly nods to my offer, hugging me again.

“M-mhmm,” is all she lets out, making sure to stay as close to me as possible. All the while, she holds her bear and tries her best to avoid crying again. Leaning back on the wall, I slowly shush her again, patting her back as I try to think of a story. The dream I had was a great dream… My mind was imagining seeing Sonata and Aria graduating, making all that hard work worth it in the end. The two of them wouldn’t graduate together, but it was still a really nice thought. It just sucks that I got to have a great dream, but Sonata had to have a horrible nightmare… I won’t leave her alone. I’ll be here as long as she needs me. Not just tonight, but whenever she will need me, I will be here.

“Did I ever tell you about the time the siren princess went to the city~?”

Reality is a Letdown

Author's Note

Hello, everyone~ Yeah, yeah, I know. Before you start, I realize this chapter is pretty surprising to see. I haven't uploaded a chapter for this story in over four months, so this surprise upload is definitely a surprise. To be honest, I didn't think I was going to upload another chapter for this story for another few weeks, but I missed this dynamic between Adagio and her sisters. I don't know when the next chapter will be, but this is a nice small chapter to give people a little more to chew on after so long without an update. The next chapter will be longer. XD

Reality is a Letdown

Chapter VI: Reality is a Letdown

“You stupid piece of shit!” a horrendous shriek fills the air before a bottle hits the wall next to my head, almost instantly shattering. It’s one of those nights again… One of those nights where mom had too much to drink. The dark and desolate place I call her room is filled with trash and needles, a few broken light bulbs lying around the mounds of junk. Even though it’s dark, I can still see the dark silhouette of her sitting on her dirty bed. If I get closer, I’m sure that I would be able to see the look of absolute hatred that is surely on her face.

It’s hard to move when something like this happens… Every muscle in my body makes me want to run, but I can’t move. Even if I ran, she would only take it out on them… I can already hear the soft cries coming from our room, knowing Sonata and Aria are scared for their lives once again. If I don’t deal with her, then they will end up with the consequences…

“I can look at the other dollar store,” I am barely able to say, my voice feeling like it will crack at a moment’s notice. I’m barely able to hide my shaking muscles. It takes every ounce of strength in myself to not cry. If I break down, she’ll get mad… Then I will have to endure the punishment for all three of us…

“Go get me a drink,” she tells me in a quieter voice, still seething with anger. For some reason, she’s willing to give me another chance… “NOW!”

Jolting upward, I look out into the dark room, realizing the layout is different. Everything feels so cold and I can’t stop myself from hyperventilating. Sweat drips from my forehead, the whole world feeling disorienting. There’s no broken glass or trash… No needles… It’s just my room. My bed. Quickly looking to my side, I see a small body sound asleep, holding onto her favorite stuffed animal. Her taco pajamas are barely visible in the darkness, but they calm my nerves somehow… Maybe seeing proof that it was a bad dream is enough to anchor me down.

Rubbing my forehead, I take a shaky breath, slowly leaning my head back down on the pillow. Even now, I still see her. Every detail of that place is burned into my memory. I can still see the needles on the dresser. Every bit of it is stuck in my head… I keep seeing her every now and again in my dreams. Even in my daily life, I see her influence. Her horrific screams can still be heard as clear as day, regardless of what I do. It’s almost enough to make someone go insane. I’m doing my best for them. I’m trying to hold myself together… Why am I still affected by her? Why do I still see her?

Sighing quietly, I gently rub Sonata’s shoulder before sitting up again, knowing damn well that I won’t be able to sleep again. That’s unfortunately the pattern when it comes to things like this… I have a dream of her and those eyes haunt me enough that I can’t sleep again. Shaking my head, I look at the small clock next to my bed, seeing that the sun should be up any minute now. I might as well get stuff ready… Hopefully, school goes well for the girls. I don’t want to be called to the school again, especially since we’re so close to the end of the year.

Standing up, I walk towards the door as quietly as I can, looking back to make sure Sonata is still asleep. She looks so peaceful that it makes me wish that she wouldn’t have to wake up in an hour. Closing the door behind me, I walk out into the living room and stretch my arms. The girls will definitely need their lunches packed at least. I would check their backpacks to see if their school supplies are still in there, but they keep them in their rooms. Maybe I’ll check Sonata’s before she leaves… She’s more likely to forget something than Aria is.

Walking inside the kitchen, I pull out a couple of plastic bags and four slices of bread, grabbing the peanut butter with a soft yawn. Despite how loud her screams are inside my mind, I never let that witch take me down… Her whole goal in life was to watch us burn, but I would never let that happen. I couldn’t care less if she broke me… It’s Sonata and Aria I worry about. I can’t let myself be broken by her for their sake. They need someone who is strong enough to help them through their own memories. Someone who they can use as an anchor when it gets tough.

Sliding the knife across the bread, I can’t help but chuckle out of the irony. If the girls have me when it gets tough for them, then who do I have? Not really anyone I guess… I’ve had to sacrifice friendships, a social life, and pretty much everything related to making relationships just so I could keep them safe. The worst thing that could happen is making friends with someone or getting in a relationship and they turn out to be terrible, hurting them even further. That’s why it’s better for me to just focus on raising them for now… I can focus on getting a social life when Sonata and Aria are grown up.

My hand stops halfway across the slice of bread, raising my eyebrow slightly. Even though Sonata is almost eleven, it is likely that they won’t stop relying on me until ten years from now… I’ll be in my mid thirties by then. I mean, they say forty is the new twenty, right? Still… Something about that thought makes me feel… out of time. Old. Should I be feeling that way…? I’m just in my mid twenties right now, but another ten years of this makes my mind feel exhausted.

Taking a deep breath, I finish the sandwiches and try to avoid those thoughts about the future. They tend to drag me down a rabbit hole at times… Instead, my thoughts drift to the present. Sonata hit another kid a bit ago, but she also had a playdate. Honestly, that last one is a huge improvement over her previous years since she is finally making friends. Nothing has really changed with Aria or me. Except for Sunset Shimmer…

That girl… Why does she want to be my friend? What drew her to me? It’s like she asked me to hang out from out of nowhere and I just blindly accepted. Why is she so optimistic? From the little we’ve talked, she always has an optimism for life and people in general. So many things are weird about her. I guess the only way to answer my questions is to hang out with her some more… One thing is for sure though… I’m not going to introduce her to Sonata and Aria. At least for a while… I am still wary of friendships to begin with, not to mention Sunset’s motives are unknown to me as of now.

The sound of an opening door makes me look up towards the hallway entrance, somewhat surprised that one of the girls is awake. They don’t have to get ready for at least thirty minutes. Did I wake them…? After a few moments, the familiar purple teenager walks into the living room with a yawn, her pajamas wrinkled from a long night’s rest. She blinks her eyes a couple times before looking over at me, chuckling as she notices what I’m doing.

“Making sandwiches for us again?” Aria asks me with a laugh, shaking her head. Within a couple seconds, Aria walks inside the kitchen and sits on the counter, looking down at me with a smirk. “You really worry about us too much. How about you let us eat the school lunch for once?”

“Do you actually want to eat the school lunch?” I ask her with a knowing stare, her smirk instantly changing to a frown.

“No, but I am just saying you work too hard. You need to relax every now and then,” Aria tells me with a shrug, kicking her legs back and forth slowly. Instead of responding to her stupid statement, I just shake my head, placing the sandwiches into paper bags. Sometimes, I wish I could relax a little more, but she clearly doesn’t know how stressful this is. Every day, it’s a new catastrophe that I have to fix. I always have to be prepared to handle everything just in case they need me. She doesn’t understand that. “Anyway, you were out pretty late last night, weren’t you?” Aria asks me with a curious look. Walking into the living room, I place the bags on the coffee table and look at Aria, feeling a little confused.

“Yeah. I was out with a friend. What about it?” I can’t help but raise my eyebrow, finding Aria’s fascination confusing. Aria laughs slightly at my statement, shaking her head.

“When you said you were meeting someone, I thought you meant for work. Since when do YOU of all people have a friend?” Okay, ouch. Even my sister sees me as unlikeable enough that I wouldn’t have friends. Regardless, I’ve mainly kept my distance from people for her sake to begin with. “Is this a special friend? Did you finally get laid?” Aria asks me in a teasing laugh, making me jab her shoulder.

“Will you shut up? Sonata is still asleep. Besides, it wasn’t like that. You think way too much about sex.” Rolling my eyes slightly, I can’t help but find Aria’s crude statement annoying. All she does is think about partying and sex. I wouldn’t go out and do something like that when I have to focus on them for now.

“Maybe you don’t think about it enough,” Aria responds in an annoyed tone, shaking her head. After a few moments of silence, Aria hops off the counter, stretching herself once again. “Whatever. Be boring I guess. I need fifty dollars,” Aria states in a matter-of-fact tone, despite how absurd her request is. Fifty dollars. Why in the fuck would she need fifty dollars? We aren’t exactly flush with cash, so giving her fifty dollars isn’t going to be easy on me.

“Why the hell do you need fifty dollars?” I ask her quickly, turning to face her with crossed arms. If she broke something, I swear that I will… Ugh… Calm yourself. You don’t know what she needs it for. But I bet it’s for something bad.

“Calm down, dictator. Damn. I need it for a school project that’s due in a week. I need to buy the supplies. I thought you’d want to help me pursue my education.” Once again, Aria’s tone comes off as sarcastic and manipulative, but she seems like she’s telling the truth… Why would a school project cost fifty dollars to complete? God… I should really talk to Principal Celestia about this absurd cost. Shaking my head, I can’t help but sigh. Fifty dollars. If I don’t work overtime, there’s no way I can make it back before I need to pick up the prescriptions.

“Fine. But you have to pick up Sonata after school. That’s the deal.”

======================================================

Pushing the cart down an aisle, I force myself to keep my eyes open, restocking the shelves as much as I can. By now, the light outside has disappeared and I’ve been working for far longer than I should have, but those fifty dollars won’t make themselves back. Regardless, I’m almost done for the night. I can’t make it home in time to make dinner for the girls, but this should be the only night I will have to work this late. At least the girls are at home. Warm inside our apartment. I’ll have to go home in the cold and get seven hours of sleep before I have to go to work again. Life is… such a pain.

The ring of the entrance door makes me feel a little more alert, finding it funny that someone would come into the drugstore at this late of a time. The bar that serves ice cream is closed off for the night, so the only things a person could do here is buy something like medicine or some other essential thing. I guess it’s not my business to begin with, but still. I just wish I could close up shop sooner.

The sound of footsteps approaching me makes me perk up, looking to my left and down the aisle. The sight of fiery hair shining from the lights registers faster than everything else. It’s not very long after that I see the cyan eyes of a very familiar customer. My mouth forms into a smirk, surprised by this visiter at such a late hour.

“Well, if it isn’t the nosey customer,” I state with a raised eyebrow, seeing Sunset chuckle at my words.

“Hello there~ I wasn’t expecting to see you working this late,” Sunset tells me with surprise, walking up to my cart and examining the supplies I still have yet to put up. “I was just here to pick up some toothpaste, but it seems you have bigger problems than me,” Sunset says in a joking tone, her smile showing just how sincere she is.

“Toothpaste? Did you run out and not realize it?” I ask her with a slight chuckle, finding the whole situation a little funny. Honestly, something similar happened to me with Sonata a year ago, but I figured it was just a child issue.

“Yeah, actually. Air-headed of me, I know. Though, I could keep you company if you’d like?” Sunset asks with a sweet smile, making me almost consider her offer.

“No. You should go home. I’ll be heading home in a little bit as well, so don’t feel obligated to stay here.” Even though I don’t consider her a friend yet, Sunset is really kind and goes out of her way to be hospitable and generous.

“I don’t feel obligated~ Really~” Sunset pats my shoulder in an attempt to reassure me before leaning against one of the shelves next to me, clearly committing to this. I doubt I could pressure her to leave even if I wanted to, but… having someone to talk to in the last hour of my shift is kind of nice. What is with you, Shimmer? You’re such an odd woman…

“You’re so weird,” I state with a roll of my eyes, pretending to find her gesture annoying. Sunset simply smiles and giggles to my action, once again looking inside the cart as I restock the shelf.

“Am I weird enough to convince you to come to a parade with me tomorrow? It’s going to be fun and I figured we could hang out again~” Stopping momentarily, I look at Sunset with a conflicted feeling.

“That… does sound fun, but I can’t. I’m not the type of person who can do things without planning in advance. You know I have two sisters to take care of,” I explain slowly, feeling sad that I have to turn down the offer.

“Oh, I know. I just figured that maybe you could bring your sisters along~ Then we can hang out without you worrying about a babysitter for Sonata.” Once again, Sunset’s words stop me in the middle of my work, making me raise my eyebrow slowly… I wouldn’t be able to do that… I don’t even know if I can trust her around my sisters just yet. She’s just someone I started to hang out with…

“Sunset, I-” Before I can say another word, a loud cell phone ringing emanates from my pocket, making both Sunset and I take on surprised expressions. I’m not used to getting calls this late… “Hold on.” Pulling out my cell phone, I quickly answer it, clearing my throat. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this the primary guardian of Aria Blaze?” a feminine voice asks me over the phone, instantly making my nerves sky rocket. What the hell is going on here…? My eyes briefly look at Sunset, giving her a quick smile to try and reassure her.

“This is she.”

“Hi, this is Sharon with the Police Department. We wanted to tell you that Aria Blaze is being held in one of our holding cells and we hope you can come down to get her.” The woman’s voice tells me a few more things, but every other word goes right through me. I can’t help but feel dizzy, the news repeating itself in my head over and over again. What happened this time…?