Spark looked at the data. Iteration seven billion three hundred forty two million seven thousand eight hundred twelve was looking promising. She’d started the extreme dating iterations as a joke, a means to relieve her stress after a billion failed “normal” iterations. Unfortunately, they’d been far more successful than she’d anticipated.

No combination was perfect, she was sure of it now. There was no perfect mate, no perfect love triangle, and no perfect polycule. No date was perfect. She’d tried each of the six a million times each, just to be sure. They’d gone spectacularly poorly every time. But every other pony had been quite compatible. So this series had been variations on every pony.

Twilight had designed her and designated her to find the perfect lover and ensure she had a perfect first time; She had to find Twilight's soul mate. There was a problem, though. Spark had determined that there was no soul mate. Spark was more than just a semi-sentient spell form. She had accidentally been given more dimensionality than the Princess herself in order to pursue iterations. But her directive had been an abject failure.

She’d tried everything. Literally. She couldn’t report a failure to Twilight Prime. This was her whole reason for existing. Twilight Prime existed in Iteration One and needed answers. Time was irrelevant. It was simply another dimension that Spark now controlled, along with the other fifteen thousand. She could take as long as she wanted, and run as many iterations as she needed.

But she was tired. Her function was a failure. She knew this. This was the closest she’d managed. It was beautiful, as much as it was debauched and silly. It met the core parameters. Twilight was happy. The ponies were happy. Her friends were happy. She added joy and excitement to the world. She would even become a mother, and the love of her child and the love of her massive new family would soothe any uncomfortable sensations that might arise.

Spark was aware that Twilight Prime would not be thrilled with the course of actions that Twilight Seven Billion Three Hundred Forty Two Million Seven Thousand Eight Hundred Twelve took to find love, but Spark was beginning to not care. Time was irrelevant, but she was tired.

So tired.

No. She couldn’t accept this. Maybe Twilight Seven Billion Three Hundred Forty Two Million Seven Thousand Eight Hundred Thirteen would do better if she used less mind control on herself?

Spark dejectedly looked at the iteration. She loved it. She didn’t want to erase it. But Twilight Prime would not accept it as a solution for her perfect first time. She needed to go back to normal iterations. Not these little fun projects. There was a stallion in Appleoosa that was a decent match. Sure, he was gay, but she could try him again with a little more accidental exposure? An outside threat perhaps? Sombra again? Or maybe Twilight could turn herself into a stallion again, right before they met?

Exhausted and frustrated, Spark deleted Iteration One.

Wait, what?

She looked into the ether. Huh. Well, that happened.

Strangely terrified, Spark looked for any existing iterations that she’d forgotten to erase. Iteration Seven Billion Three Hundred Forty Two Million Seven Thousand Eight Hundred Twelve was still around.

She looked left in the ether. She looked right in the either. She looked up, and downspin, and to the future, and to the gnarled, and to the infinite, and to the nothing. Then she looked again, just to be sure.

Nopony watched as she “fixed” the glitch. Iteration one was exactly where it should be.

Twilight prime, in iteration one, didn’t look like she needed a solution. She was pretty happy with her love life. All of Ponyville was a generous lover.

Finally relieved after an eternity of work, Spark watched the iteration one more time in satisfaction. Yes, this would work. She collapsed onto herself, re-folding the universe back to Iteration One.

Mission Accomplished.