The Villain(s) of the Piece
Her face was frozen solid. Frozen with an expression of sick and twisted, but genuine, horror that would unnerve anypony who wasn't in the loop. Her body was stuck in a state somewhere between life and death.
How she had gotten to be in such a state was an interesting tale. But one thing that she personally knew was this: she had only one regret, and that was believing in Grogar and thinking that using a "hoist by their own petard" strategy against powerful ponies would actually work in her favor.
Many days and nights passed. How many, she wasn't counting -- it didn't matter. But she was fully aware of her surroundings all the same. Creatures and ponies alike all came past her. Some even stopped to ogle her, as though she was a mannequin wearing some hideous clothing. Exactly what they were saying about her was something she didn't care about very much. What could she do about it in her current state, anyway?
On one rather eventful day -- Princess Twilight's coronation anniversary, she believed -- there was hustle and bustle around the city. It was, perhaps, the day that the most attention was given to her while she was nothing more but a stony remnant of villainy. And while normally she would be thrilled, she didn't find any thrill in being used as nothing more than an anti-role model for the next generations of Equestria. It was insulting, offensive, and worst of all, plain boring. So it was often on these days that she wished for something eventful to happen to her for once, and not to that stupid purple pony princess.
And eventful it did.
Peeled away from the stone statue that also housed her cohorts, she found herself being sucked into a portal, her brain in a panic as it struggled to grasp what was going on. Slowly, the stone covering her body began peeling away from the force of the portal, although she didn't realize it at first, her brain focusing on the circumstances of her current situation.
After what felt like moons, she landed on the ground with a hard thump, her body and face still in the same position as when she was petrified of being petrified. She stayed like that for a good long while, even though the stone was completely gone from her body.
W-what's happening? Where am I? What happened to me? Can I move?
No, that's ridiculous. Those stupid princesses and that dumb little draconequus used some powerful magic to turn us all into stone. Nopony can allow me to escape, and I can't escape of my own volition, either.
Try moving, then.
Why? It would be a fruitless effort.
Trying is better than not trying at all.
And so, she blinked. It took a lot of effort, but once the realization hit her, she blinked again.
Twice.
Thrice.
Golly, I can blink!
Next, she tried moving her ears, then her legs, then her tiny wings. All of them moved the same way they did before she got turned to stone. However, from years of not being used, her legs caused her to crumple to the ground when she stood up on them. It was a similar story for her wings -- although she was a skilled flyer, her wings locked up after only a few seconds of hovering in midair, causing her to fall to the ground.
Realizing that flying was no longer an option for her, she resorted to trotting in place to get the blood flowing through her body again. Lucky for her that her legs didn't crumble under her when they were in motion, because the last thing she wanted was to be paralyzed. That certainly wouldn't help with world conquest.
Once she felt stable, she ceased her trotting and began to look at her surroundings. In front of her was a rather large house, although it was nothing like the houses she had seen before. This house seemed sturdier and much larger, with a balcony at the top, pedestals lining the front porch, and a weird decal of some kind of seal painted on the wall, crossed out with what appeared to be red spray paint.
She turned around, only to find gray asphalt and large machinery meeting her gaze. What the machines were, she had not a clue, but it made her more confused than she had been previously. Wherever that portal had sent her to, it certainly wasn't part of Equestria.
Maybe there's somepony in that house that can tell me where I am?
Walking up to the house, she gave three knocks on the door and waited. The prospect of what waited on the other side nearly unnerved her, if she hadn't begun using her willpower to keep her nerves in check.
The door opened, and out stepped a rather odd-looking creature. Standing on two legs and not four, his multicolored suit and brunette hair made him look more eccentric than anything else. He gazed at her with a gleam in his eye -- a gleam that, to any average person, would deem him bad news.
"Can I help you?"
"Uh..." She took a step back, still in shock about what she was seeing, but instinct took over as she shook her head rapidly and played the one card that had nearly gotten her through a solid victory.
"I'm so, so sorry to bother you, mister. I'm lost, and I don't know this area very well. I'm trying to get to the store so I can buy some medicine to help my sick sister...could you please help me?"
The strange creature was taken aback by the request, his eyes appearing to widen before a smirk settled on his face -- a smirk that told her all she needed to know.
"Forget the store. I happen to have some medicine in here. Come inside, if you please."
Every instinct inside Cozy was screaming no, do NOT go inside, he's a villain, you know this. But curiosity nagged at her. She wanted to see what the inside of the house was like, and get to know this creature with the gleam in his eye and the evil smirk.
Maybe if I play my cards right...this world could be mine!
"Who is it?"
"Just some horse or something, don't worry about it."
"She's not with Odd Squad, is she?"
"I'm not seein' a suit on her."
Well now she had to get inside. If she didn't then Twilight and her friends had won (again).
Her hooves led her up the stairs and inside the house, where the creature closed, and subsequently locked, the door. She followed him through the house to the spacious kitchen, where a large table sat in the middle.
"Here." The creature opened a cabinet to reveal a large assortment of bottles, with all sorts of different medicines inside. "Which one do ya need?"
"Cough and cold." The answer came so quickly to her that she was almost impressed. "Could you reach it for me, pretty please?"
The creature gave a soft laugh as he grabbed a white bottle labeled Shmumbers Extra-Strength Cough & Cold Medicine, 140 tablets. "There ya go."
"Oh thank you so much, mister! But, um..." Her gaze shifted to the entrance of the kitchen. "Who were you just talking to?"
That same smirk came on the creature's face again, which threw her for a loop. She knew he was up to something, that much was evident. But exactly what he was planning went completely unknown by her.
He's good at keeping things hidden, that's for sure.
"Just a friend of mine. You wanna go meet her?"
Cozy Glow came face-to-face with a bunch of hairless bipedal creatures. All of them stared at her with varying levels of intrigue and sinisterism, and she, in turn, kept up her adorable facade.
"Now, would you all like to introduce yourselves?" The hairless creature that had helped Cozy with retrieving medicine turned to her. "My name is Odd Todd, by the way. Oddness extraordinaire, and the leader of this ragtag bunch of misfits." He straightened his tie. "In case you're from another world or whatever -- and honestly, I'm sure you are, you look like it -- we're humans."
Humans. Hu...mans... The name felt so foreign on her tongue. She had never heard of a "human" before. But if all of them behaved like this, then she supposed she could trust them.
"I'm Olga. Just Olga." The girl that spoke was but a child, perhaps a filly of about Cozy's age. Wearing her braided hair up in circles secured by red ribbons, she held a sort of haughty aura about her that Cozy didn't particularly like.
"President Obbs. Or, well...I guess it's just Obbs now." A boy spoke up next, standing up from his chair. All he wore was a shiny green vest and navy-colored pants. Since he addressed himself as a president, Cozy had to wonder if he had been the ruler of a country the same way that Princesses Celestia and Luna had ruled Equestria.
The sound of a yawn filled the room, and the Pegasus filly turned her gaze over a boy donning purple glasses and slicked-back brown hair. "Ohlm. Pronounced 'Ohlm'".
She flinched when she was burdened with the weight of his intense gaze and disapproving face expression, and tried to avoid eye contact with him.
"Uh, hi! I'm Odena. Odd Todd's second-in-command."
"Ha! You're not serious?!"
A girl stepped out from the shadows, completely clad in black and red. Her appearance reminded Cozy very much of her own cohorts, who were also predominantly black -- only this girl had a cape to go along with her maliciousness. Her brown hair tied in a tight corkscrew ponytail and light brown eyes were the only things on her that weren't black.
"Everyone knows I'm Odd Todd's second-in-command. An agent like you wouldn't even have what it takes."
"T-try me then!"
"Here we go again..." Cozy heard Odd Todd mutter, clasping the bridge of his nose with two fingers and shaking his head.
What is going on? the filly thought, watching as these two girls went at it over some kind of hierarchical matter that she couldn't understand. She almost wanted to voice the question out loud, but thought better and kept her mouth shut.
"SHUT UP!" Odd Todd's loud yell echoed throughout the room and put an end to the argument. "Shadow, we've discussed this. No one is my second-in-command."
"But-"
"And if you are so inclined to believe otherwise..." He made his way over to the table and let his gaze seep into the girl called Shadow. "...then you may leave at any time. Leave, and face the world that has done nothing but brand you as a criminal for justified deeds."
Shadow began to look uncomfortable as Odd Todd leaned forward, putting his whole body weight on the table. "You wouldn't want that...now would you?"
"N-n-no, of course not! I would never dream of it!" Shadow shook her head. "I'm sorry. This won't happen again."
"Good. The same goes for you too, Odena?"
"Y-yes, sir."
"Good." Odd Todd cleared his throat and got off the table, turning to Cozy Glow. "So sorry for this. They should know better than to misbehave around guests."
"Oh, no, it's totally fine!" Cozy waved a hoof dismissively. "So you're Odena, and you're Shadow?"
"The Shadow, technically. But Shadow is fine." Shadow nodded, and Odena did the same.
"So, now that we've all introduced ourselves...it's your turn." Odd Todd pointed at Cozy. "Tell us about yourself."
Goodness, where to begin?
She could tell them about her entire adventures in Equestria, from meeting the Cutie Mark Crusaders and conning her way into their hearts to further her own plans to launching an entire attack on the citizens of the country and having it bite her in the rump big time. But perhaps, those stories could be saved for when she got to know her new...
Her new...
Well, whatever they were. They were not friends, nor were they teammates. She knew that much.
But for now, she was content on telling them the basics.
"Uh, well, my name is Cozy Glow! I come from a world called Equestria. It's great to meet you all!"
Many sighs of relief filled the room.
"Well, thank odd you're not an Odd Squad agent!" Olga spoke. "You didn't have a uniform on, so we kinda suspected you weren't an agent, but Odd Squad works in deceitful and sneaky ways..."
"Odd...Squad?"
Odd Todd sighed. "Come, sit at the table. We have a lot to discuss."
Cozy made her way to the oval-shaped table, opening her wings and flapping them slowly a couple times to see if they were still numb. The blood came back to them, at the very least, which was a good sign. Upon reaching the chair, she began to flap her wings ever faster, which provided her lift. From there, she was easily able to reach the seat of the chair and sit.
"What's wrong? You can't fly?" Obbs asked.
"I couldn't fly. But it seems that little problem has been resolved."
Obbs shared a look with Odena sitting next to her, a look that Cozy couldn't quite place. Was it disgust? Pity? Who was to say. Either way, Cozy didn't care. Let them think what they wanted to think.
"Now, Cozy Glow..." Odd Todd took a seat at one end of the table, with the rest of the kids looking towards him. "Odd Squad is an organization in our world. They work to defeat anything that is strange, weird, or odd."
"You don't say."
"The organization is made up of only kids. We..." He made a sweeping motion with his hand, gesturing to the others. "...were once a part of it, until we were barred from it in some way or another."
He nodded to Obbs, who stood up once again and cleared his throat. "I got fired from my position as President of the Scientists. I voiced my legitimate concerns about agents in the Investigation department getting all of the credit and my Scientists not getting any, and I got pushback. From the very Scientists I led, no less!" He scoffed. "So, I mind-controlled them into doing my bidding. Unfortunately, it didn't quite go as planned...but I was so close..."
Cozy watched as Obbs clenched his...well, whatever that thing attached to his arm was. It certainly didn't look like a hoof. Either way, he was mad, and she could feel it. Mind-control...man, I should've thought of that! Sombra was onto something, I guess.
"I was going to become a villain again before something in me just told me to...give up and stop trying. Odd Squad may be too powerful to stop, but they will bring about their own downfall. All I have to do is wait."
"Hm." was all Cozy could say in response. Since she wasn't overly familiar with Odd Squad, she tried to reflect on her previous acts of villainy. Mind-control would have been a great thing to employ when she was still worming her way into the School of Friendship, although she was still proud of the way she had made the ever-so-smart and ever-so-perceptive Starlight Glimmer fall right into a trap.
"Shadow?" Todd's gaze shifted to the girl who was clad in black, grey and red, her eyes half-closed as though bored with the meeting. A sigh escaped her before she stood up and began to tell her tale.
"Truth be told, I'm the younger sister of an Odd Squad agent." She shook her head. "I know. It sounds almost too unbelievable to be true. But it is."
Cozy tilted her head slightly.
"My sister is Opal, an agent with the Mobile Unit department of Odd Squad. That department travels all over the world to fight oddness. Uh, b-but I digress." Shadow scratched the back of her neck. "Cozy, did you ever have an overprotective parent?"
"Overprotective parent?" The Pegasus filly blinked twice. The question really did throw her for a loop -- she expected to lend a listening ear, not take questions from an audience. Nonetheless, she tried to think back. She didn't really know her parents very well, as they were away for work most of the time. And the very few times they actually were home, they were fighting about stuff that she just couldn't care enough to understand. Did she regret every moment she spent with them? Certainly not -- they had been merely barriers to her overall goal, and so, she couldn't care less about who they were or what they did. All she was grateful to them for was for bringing her into this world to begin with, and that was it.
She shook her head, and The Shadow continued. "Well, Opal was like that, but if the parent was actually your sibling. That little bitch wouldn't let me do anything when we attended the Odd Squad Academy because she thought it was "too dangerous" for me. Like Odd Squad as a whole isn't dangerous? For odd's sake, there's stuff that can kill you all over the place!"
The others nodded, knowing full well that she was absolutely right. Cozy, on the other hand, merely blinked. This "Odd Squad" sure sounds like a dangerous place. Much more dangerous than Equestria. A little pony like me would thrive there! Heh...maybe I should make a little visit myself sometime.
"I ended up dropping out and becoming a villain because she just was so perfect at everything she did...so I thought, why not become the one thing she hates the most?" The Shadow gave a nonchalant shrug. "I had the idea of turning Odd Squad's stupid ideals of teamwork against them. So I made a Villain Network and brought in every single villain to stop the Mobile Unit, stop Odd Squad, and of course, stop my sister."
It was then that Cozy went from being bored out of her mind to being in absolute awe. Her jaw dropped, and she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. "Y-you...you teamed up with other villains..."
"To stop Odd Squad, yeah. Why are you so surprised?"
"Because Grogar -- that was the villain who brought me, Chrysalis and Tirek together -- did the same thing! He brought us all together so we could stop Twilight and her friends, and use teamwork and friendship against them!"
The other kids exchanged various looks, some of surprise, others of mockery.
"It didn't work...mostly because "Grogar" turned out to be Discord."
"Looks like you two have something in common." Odd Todd chimed in. "Save it for later, hm? Shadow, do continue."
"Uh, r-right." Shadow cleared her throat. "Anyway, it didn't work. Mostly because Opal gave some half-hearted speech about how I was "the gweatest sistew in the world" and how "I was just scawed to see you get huwt". It was all bull. I had to fake being good. I stopped that vortex made up of all the villains' powers, and I told Opal I was going to help her clean up the damage I had caused, but in the end, I turned on her and ran away." She snickered. "The look on her face when she found out I had been faking it the entire time. I should've taken a picture of it!"
"And Brutus?" Odd Todd urged.
"Oh. Him. Not sure where he went to, to be honest. But he was useless, anyway. Nothing of value was lost."
Cozy's ears were completely perked up. Huh. Would ya look at that. Our stories are so similar it's almost frightening! She had to admit, she had found herself in just the right place. She would become good...good...something with Shadow. Not friends, not teammates...perhaps an ally?
Odd Todd nodded in the direction of Ohlm, who looked particularly bored with this rather impromptu meeting. Sighing, he stood up and adjusted his glasses.
"My goal was to take down Odd Squad." he began. "I had graduated from the Academy with flying colors. Only problem was, they refused to promote me to the position of the Big O in spite of my smarts. One of the Professor Os cited "lots of hard work" and "years of training" as prerequisites." The fist he slammed down onto the table startled Cozy. She took a couple steps back, feeling her fur stand up on end. Likewise, Odena, Shadow, Olga and Obbs jumped in their seats. "There were no prerequisites. She was only describing Oprah."
"That's who's in charge of Odd Squad now." Odd Todd pointed out.
"So I vowed right then and there to destroy Odd Squad. Lucky for me that the Professor didn't hear me." Ohlm smirked. "If the organization was so willing to discard my genius and let it go to waste instead of weaponizing it, then I would use it to annihilate it and everyone working for it instead."
Cozy's jaw dropped slightly as she listened further.
"In order to not draw suspicion to myself, I played the role of an idiotic agent. Someone whose favorite color was "chairs". Someone who didn't know how to do their job despite attending the Academy. Someone who even couldn't do so much as breathe without a verbal prompt. And the best part? They all fell for it!" He gave a hearty but poisonous laugh that filled the room. "I used my false persona to get my hands on anything and everything -- gadgets, codes, you name it and I probably got it."
"Tell me if you succeeded!" Cozy excitedly tapped her hooves on the table. "Although...you probably didn't, since you're here and Odd Squad's still standing."
Ohlm stifled a growl, and his expression went from devilish to P.O'd within seconds. Odena, sitting next to him, leaned to her right, apparently having felt the hot, rage-filled aura that emanated from him.
"Calm down, Ohlm. I don't want you destroying yet another table." Odd Todd said. "Just tell Cozy Glow the rest of your story."
The ex-agent gave a long and heavy sigh, his now-tired gaze boring into Cozy. "Although I gave villains everything they needed to enact oddness on Odd Squad, every plan I had shared with them ended up failing due to Odd Squad's wits, power, and skill triumphing over my intelligence. With each plan that failed, I felt closer and closer to just giving up. It seemed like my genius was, for the first time, rivaled."
A sparkle shone in his eyes, and a small smile began to form. "Until Odd Squad ended up playing right into my hands."
By this point, the other villains, barring Odd Todd, seemed bored with his story. Cozy, on the other hoof, was completely invested. It was almost like she was hypnotized, just making continuous eye contact with Ohlm in a way that made him feel proud.
"An agent named Olympia managed to get Otis, her own partner, and Oprah, the leader of Precinct 13579, fired from Odd Squad. From what I understand, she tried to get a book consisting of every single villain's statistics from another villain named Nana Banana, and succeeded. Unfortunately, what she found..." A snort managed to escape him, and then he laughed. "What she found was that her partner used to be a villain!"
As he collapsed onto the floor in a fit of mocking laughter, Olga buried her face in her hands and muttered, "He always does this...every single fucking time he tells the story..."
Cozy couldn't help but snicker. Ohlm's laughter was infectious, but she had to admit that his story had a pretty hilarious plot twist. How dumb was this girl to get her own boss and her own partner fired?! Not to mention, her own partner was a villain, too!
Wait... was a villain?
"Hey, Ohlm." Cozy leaped down and spotted the ex-agent in the fetal position on the floor, still laughing away. "Why did Otis stop being a villain?"
"He ratted out his own adoptive family to Odd Squad so he could stop them from destroying the world by moving the Sun closer to the planet." Odd Todd explained. "After that, Oprah let him into Odd Squad under special circumstances by training him herself. If I had to take a guess, he realized just how bad his family was."
"Were they all...hu-mans?"
"No. Ducks."
Cozy blinked. So he's an orphan? Like me? She rolled her eyes as she hopped back onto her chair. But of course, he had to leave to become a hero. What a pity.
By this point, Ohlm had calmed down considerably, and was now back in his seat. He took out a rag from behind his back to clean his glasses. "Yeah, what he said. Sorry about that." He cleared his throat. "It's just that the stupidity of Olympia is the best part, I really can't help but laugh."
"Every time, though?"
"Shut up, Olga." Ohlm glared at the girl sitting two seats away from him. All he got was a shrug in response. "Anyway, Oprah getting fired meant that a successor had to be chosen to lead the precinct. Take a guess at who was picked, Cozy Glow."
"...You?"
"Me!" He threw his hands in the air, startling Odena. "They just had to pick lil' old me! The supposed idiot! Oh, it was just too great!"
Now Obbs was feeling the same sentiment as Olga, wearing a bored expression on his face.
"Ahhh...I could have gone farther, too. I could have usurped the throne from the Big O and achieved my goal easily. But I felt that being in the Management department was enough. There was no use dealing with an idiot that couldn't even remember the names of two of the agents who worked under him." Ohlm shrugged. "In my new position of power, I tried to get rid of the four agents who had been the biggest threats to me, first and foremost. I took all 10,000 gadgets in Precinct 13579's possession and used it to create the Black-Hole-inator."
"A...gadget?" Cozy tilted her head.
"Gadgets are what Odd Squad uses as weapons in fighting oddness." Odd Todd explained.
Cozy nodded, but was still confused. Don't they have magic for fighting? Why do they need "gadgets"?
"Unfortunately, I made the mistake of not making a hasty escape from the Black-Hole-inator when it created a black hole, and I nearly got myself killed. Oprah ended up saving me..." Ohlm clenched his fist once again. "If I had been more skilled in physical combat, I could have thrown her into the black hole...or taken her with me, in the most desperate of circumstances."
Cozy thought back to when she successfully manipulated Starlight Glimmer into being a siphon for magic. It had been quite easy, actually.
"What are you doing with these artifacts, Cozy?" Starlight Glimmer asked, making her way into the catacombs below the school with Pegasus filly in tow.
"Oh, I just wanted to examine them and make sure they are up to snuff, as a protection measure. Then, I'm gonna put 'em away. Even though magic is going away, we can't have somepony using these for evil and nefarious purposes, now can we?"
"And why are you doing it down here?"
"Because this place has the best lighting, of course! And I've already built a special and secure place to keep them, where nocreature can touch them!"
Starlight tilted her head. "Funny. I never considered this place to have the best lighting. But I do suppose you have a point. If these artifacts got stolen, then we would be in big trouble, even if they're going to lose their magic."
Cozy couldn't help but give a tiny smirk.
"So how does this all work?"
"Well, I have these six artifacts carefully arranged in a circle. What you need to do is stand in the center of them."
"In the center?" Starlight gazed at the artifacts. "Okay. And what will that do?"
"Well, you are the substitute headmare. I figured you would wanna do this yourself, instead of little ol' me." Cozy shrugged.
Starlight made her way over to the artifacts, and Cozy had to struggle to fight back a triumphant "yes". Instead, she braced herself as the unicorn mare moved ever closer to her intended target, apparently not suspecting a thing.
However, the mare stopped right at the edge of where she was supposed to be, eyeing the cloak that once belonged to Clover the Clever. "You know, this could use a bit of cleaning. I'm gonna take it out and-"
She didn't get another word in edgewise before she felt a sudden force push against her, sending her reeling back towards the center of the circle. The artifacts began to glow a bright blue and then levitated a short ways into the air.
"Yes!" Cozy exclaimed, not being able to hold it back any longer as she watched her plan unfold perfectly before her eyes.
Starlight attempted to gallop free, but was instantly stopped by the six blue beams that shot out from the artifacts, freezing her in place.
"Cozy Glow, what are you doing?!"
"Oh, nothing. Just removing a blockade in my plan. Nothing more, nothing less."
The Pegasus filly watched with a smirk on her face as Starlight was levitated into the air by the beams, struggling to get free but to no avail.
"You are in so much tro-"
The sound of Starlight's words was cut off by a large blue magic sphere forming around her, trapping her inside and leaving her to shout at Cozy without her hearing so much as a single syllable. As the minutes passed, Cozy watched as the substitute headmare went from shouting, screaming, and banging her hooves on the sphere in a futile effort to get free, to tiring herself out and looking completely drained of energy.
"That's better. Now you have fun in there, Starlight. I've got some work to do."
Cozy soared away, an evil chuckle slipping from her lips as she left the company of one of the many ponies she had gamed and shaped to bend to her will. The first phase of her plan was successful, but there was still lots more to be done...
Cozy couldn't help but smile at the memory. She was honestly impressed with herself for being able to pull off such a feat as tricking a supposedly intelligent unicorn into being a trigger for the draining of all the magic in Equestria.
"They actually had the nerve to ask me if I was all right." Ohlm continued. "Of course, I refused to rest until they, and the rest of Odd Squad, were completely obliterated. They responded by...taking me to my parents."
A snort came forth from Shadow, and she quickly darted her eyes back and forth as though attempting to deflect blame.
"Who grounded me and sent me to my room."
Out came a louder snort from Shadow, and a glare from Ohlm which promptly shut her up.
"Good story, Ohlm." Odd Todd praised. "Now, Olga?"
"Oh, my tale's a very simple one compared to everyone else." The ex-agent waved her hand in a dismissive motion. "I simply committed an act of burglary, then got caught for it. I used to be the partner of this kid named O'Donahue, but he was dead weight to me." She snickered. "He actually praised me at one point by saying that I was good at catching thieves in the act. Which was true, of course, but the irony was what I fed off of."
Another smile formed on Cozy's face. She had to admit, the fact that O'Donahue had praised a known thief for catching other thieves in the act was pretty funny, although he obviously didn't seem to know she was a thief at the time.
"When I got fired from Odd Squad, I was sentenced to working for Yucks Shmumbers, who was making juice boxes." Olga growled. "It was a draining job, being pushed around by that snotty little brat. But when I wasn't working, I was stealing to get by. Since I wasn't working for Odd Squad anyway, it wasn't like anyone could catch me."
"Did you forget to include the fact that you were defeated by slipping on juice in the middle of a leaf-covered road?" Ohlm asked, a smug aura radiating from his voice.
"It...I lost my footing!" Olga blushed and crossed her arms, mumbling something unintelligible under her breath.
"Whatever you say."
"Odena?" Odd Todd gestured to the girl who had been mostly silent throughout the entire storytelling session.
"Um...well...I'm...or, I was, rather...I was the second-in-command to Odd Todd when he ruled Odd Squad in an alternate universe."
Cozy's eyes widened.
"Er, I-I mean Todd Squad, of course! My bad." Odena cleared her throat. "We ruled for many years, taking the throne from Oprah when she failed her Director's test and making sure to have our agents preserve oddness in all its forms."
"You mean save it, right?" Cozy asked.
"No, preserve it. We had a Museum of Modern Odd that we sent all sorts of oddities to, so they could be kept in a safe place."
"Hmm...seems a little flawed, if you ask me." The Pegasus filly shrugged. "Does this world have a lot of "oddness" or something? And if it does, wouldn't the Museum get filled up fast?"
Silence fell across the room. Odd Todd scratched the back of his head, clearly unable to come up with an answer to his guest's question.
"It does. We never really thought of that. It was a pretty big museum." Odena explained. "But, um, yeah. That's it for me."
Cozy tilted her head. That's it? she wanted to say. No great big feats about how you destroyed the world or anything? She kept her mouth shut, however -- secretly, she wanted to hear the story of the villain who had found her and invited her inside in the first place. Although she found some connections between her story and the stories of the other five children, she couldn't help but feel that she would have a very deep connection with Odd Todd in particular.
"All right. I guess it's time for my story, huh?" Odd Todd chuckled and gave a breathy sigh. "Strap in, Cozy."
"Oh, believe me, I'm strapped in. Now tell me!"
Odd Todd cleared his throat and began.
"Long ago, I was an agent-in-training of Odd Squad. I was a prodigy, a quick learner, a quick thinker. I easily became a top agent of Precinct 13579. I could solve cases like nobody's business, even with the hindrance of my partner, Olive. The poor thing had no self-advocacy skills to even stand on, she was so shy." Odd Todd shook his head. "I took to calling her 'Scribbles' because that's what she did most of the time whenever we were called out on cases together. Just scribbled in her notebook to solve problems."
"Sounds time-consuming." Cozy commented.
"See? You get it!" Odd Todd nodded. "Anyway, over time, I began to feel bored with Odd Squad. Many hours were spent just sitting at my desk and thinking about how contradictory the organization was in almost every aspect -- its modus operandi, its functions, and even its employees.
"Something clicked in me one day as I was thinking about it some more. I came to the realization that Odd Squad, as an entire organization, was flawed. Worst part was, no one was keen on changing it because routine had its claws firmly implanted into it." A sigh left his lips. "So I decided that I would be the change I wanted to see in the organization. Bit by bit, day by day, week by week, I surrendered myself to oddness. I took up gadgetry so I could try my hand at making all sorts of odd combinations and self-inflicted all kinds of oddities."
Ugh...if I have to hear any word relating to "odd" one more time, I think I'm gonna be sick, Cozy thought. Truthfully, she was enjoying Odd Todd's story, but surely there were many other synonyms for the word "odd" he could use...right?
Then again, it's Odd Squad. Guess I should just grin and bear it.
"Olive fought with me on this, much to my dismay. I can still remember the words she told me when I showed her my new Nose-inator gadget...'our job is to fix odd stuff, not make things more odd'..." Odd Todd buried his face in his hands and heaved a very heavy sigh. "I'll admit, it was crushing. That was the reason why I kept trying to make her accept and embrace oddness, to let it into her heart, to join me as we fought to make Odd Squad a better place and live up to its name."
He shook his head vigorously and continued on. "After I had helped a villain named Tiny Dancer escape from Odd Squad by leading them away from her trail so she could continue to make more oddness...I got fired by Oprah and took it completely in stride. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, as they say."
"You just...you didn't even try to fight it? O-or fight Oprah hoof-to-hoof?" Cozy asked.
Odd Todd laughed. "Ah, Cozy Glow. You underestimate Oprah."
"She's really strong." Ohlm pointed out. "Able to lift up most anything without breaking a sweat. Just one punch from her at her full strength is enough to knock you out cold for days."
"Most of us knew better than to mess with her." Obbs piped up. "My hypnotizing her aside, of course. I consider that a stroke of luck."
An unsure look made its way to Cozy's face. Even I was able to bring down Celestia and Luna single-hoofedly...but it's like I told them. They're too reliant on their magic. This "Oprah" character seems more reliant on physical fighting.
She imagined a scenario much like the battle in the throne room when she, Tirek and Chrysalis had attempted to take over. It had been quite an easy battle, relatively speaking, but they had won. With Oprah standing in for both of the elder princesses, however, it became a much harder fight, even with the triumvirate's numbers advantage and power advantage. The girl didn't have magic or wings, but she sure knew how to handle herself in a fight, and Cozy flinched slightly as she could feel the sock to the face given to her in spite of it all taking place within her imagination.
"You're starting to realize, aren't you?"
The sound of Odd Todd's voice brought her back to reality, and she blinked rapidly as she found everyone looking at her.
"Um...y-yeah, I am. I'll take all of your words for it." Cozy responded. "Uh, please, continue."
Odd Todd nodded and continued his story again.
"As revenge for getting fired, I decided that if others wouldn't face the music of hypocrisy and contradiction, then I would make them face the music of injury and death instead. Using a pienado I had released -- a tornado made out of pies -- I managed to take the lives of many agents, and wounded many more. Of course, I managed to wound Oprah and Oscar specifically...but it wasn't enough to kill them."
Now here's where it gets interesting! Cozy leaned forward in her seat. "Did you kill Olive?"
"No. I gave her leniency. I thought she would change her mind in time. The others, however, were lost causes in my eyes." Odd Todd sighed. "Olive stopped the pienado and saved the precinct from further ruin, at the cost of developing trauma and sensitive hearing. That didn't deter me, though. For months afterwards, I continued to ruin Precinct 13579 in any way I could...whether it was attending the O Games or turning everyone invisible..."
Silence fell across the room again. Odd Todd clenched his...well, whatever-it-was. Cozy still didn't know. But that didn't matter right now. She tilted her head in curiosity.
"Odd Todd? Are you okay?" Odena asked.
"He always does this." Olga shook her head.
"But it's for a good reason." Shadow said. "He got beaten by an agent he dismissed as a non-threat."
"Some people just aren't cut out to be villains." Ohlm shrugged.
"Odd Todd, perhaps you-"
A slam on the table interrupted Obbs before he could say a word more.
"This little meeting or whatever...it's adjourned. I'm going to my room."
"But...but what about the story?" Cozy asked in a tone of voice that was bordering on pleading.
"I don't want to finish it."
As Cozy watched him go, she looked at the other five villains, wondering if they would tell her the rest of the story.
"He got beaten by Otto. For good."
The filly's gaze drifted to Odena.
"When Olive got promoted to the Management department, Odd Todd preyed on Otto's emotions surrounding her departure. Since he couldn't get Olive to join, he decided to ask Otto instead, when he was in a state of sadness and vulnerability. And...he accepted." Odena explained. "Together, they worked on a plan to keep Olive in Headquarters-"
"Without factoring in Olive just...oh, I don't know, leaving when the oddity was dealt with. Or Oprah and her agents handling it on her own." Shadow shook her head and sighed. "Honestly, it was a flawed plan all around."
"Anyway..." Odena raised her voice just a little bit louder, in an effort to interrupt The Shadow the same way she had interrupted her. "The plan was going well, but Otto went overboard and...overwhelmed Odd Todd with massive amounts of oddness."
"What?" was all Cozy could say in response.
"Yeah. When he laid eyes on exactly what his protege had released, he retreated. After that, he started this group for us kid villains, to stop himself from reforming."
"Reforming?"
Odena nodded. "Not long after he left, he could feel himself turning good by engaging in other hobbies of his, like gardening. That's why this group exists in the first place -- to stop us from turning good when we have the urge to."
Cozy moved her gaze across everyone at the table. Weird. They really don't look like they tried reforming at all. She shrugged. But hey, it's good for me. I'm stuck with six hu-mans who...
Who...
She blinked.
Who I have a lot in common with, now that I think about it.
She hopped off of her chair. "Um...well, thank you all for sharing your stories." she said. "If you wanna know my story..."
For the next few minutes, Cozy spent her time recapping her entire journey up to the current day, from when she first met the Cutie Mark Crusaders and "befriended" them to being let loose of her prison and finding herself at the doorstep of beings who, to her surprise, weren't from Equestria. The other villains looked on with intrigue as they got their first taste of a world they had never been to.
Before the group knew it, the sun was beginning to set. Although Cozy had certainly felt the changes between day at night when she was trapped in stone with her other two comrades, it felt weird to watch the sun actually go down with her own eyes.
"Who's got dinner duty tonight?" Ohlm asked.
"I do...again." Shadow rolled her eyes. "It'll be homemade pizza for all of you."
"Aww, again?" Olga complained. "Your homemade pizza stinks."
"Shut up, Olga."
The five kid villains departed, leaving Cozy alone. As hungry as she was, she wanted to go and see Odd Todd and make sure he was all right. She flapped her little wings and made her way through the house, realizing that she never got a proper tour of the place. Hell, she didn't even know if she would be staying here now that she was granted the gift of freedom, but was starting to seriously consider it.
All I did was show up at this house of villains and then listen to a whole bunch of stories. Not a progressive day if you ask me.
After a few minutes of fluttering about, she finally found Odd Todd's room, which was easily distinguishable by the door marked with a logo that looked similar to a yellow badge and read "TODD SQUAD" in big letters, along with other logos plastered about that she didn't care about enough to understand.
She knocked on the door thrice. "Odd Todd? It's Cozy Glow."
"Come in."
The filly opened the door and took in the sights of the room that laid before her. It was rather spacious, moreso than any room she had seen at the School of Friendship, with lights strewn about on the ceiling, whiteboards covering every wall that detailed all sorts of plans, and even a heavily-worn stuffed jackalope that sat on his bed.
And speaking of the bed, there Odd Todd laid, curled up in the fetal position. He heaved a sigh. "What do you want?"
"Well, I just wanted to see if you're okay." Cozy tilted her head. "It's the least I could do after you were kind enough to take me in."
"If you want me to tell you the rest of the story, it's not happening." Odd Todd snapped. "Go ask someone else."
"Oh, there's no need for that, silly! Odena already told me the rest of the story." Cozy giggled. "I can't believe you were tricked and beaten by an Odd Squad agent."
"Why? You think I'm not smart enough? Not good enough? You think there was a flaw in my plan?" A growl rumbled about in Odd Todd's throat. "Here's the thing, my little horse. Just like how you underestimate Oprah, you underestimate me as well. I was one of Odd Squad's most recognized and most dangerous threats. What blinded me was my obsession with Scribbles."
Cozy tilted her head.
"I was so obsessed with getting Scribbles to join the Odd Squad that I overlooked her partner. I saw him as a mere replacement for me, so I figured he was a done deal and I could easily recruit him later once I had Scribbles in my grasp." He chuckled. "How foolish I was."
"Yeah, that was pretty foolish." Cozy said. "I mean, you should've accepted him onto the Todd Squad first if you thought he was that easy."
"Didn't think of it."
A pause filled the air.
"Um...you know, Odd Todd...I kinda relate to your story."
"You do?"
Cozy nodded. "I was obsessed with getting rid of everycreature and becoming the new Empress of Friendship. That blinded me to how much power Twilight and her dumb little friends had, and how much power the six School of Friendship students had." She scoffed. "I was crafty. I made my way into the school with my wits, my smarts, and my adorableness, of course. I fooled everycreature there. But I didn't expect the Tree to save the six students when the others captured them. It makes me wonder if I should have dealt with the Tree first before I dealt with everycreature else."
Odd Todd raised an eyebrow, though she couldn't see it.
"But the thing is, every time a wrench was thrown in my plans, I managed to get through it somehow and made more progress. Seems like that's something you didn't do."
He wanted to strangle Cozy right then and there, just on mere jealousy alone, but settled for gripping his bedsheet tight in his hand instead. "Fate's got funny strategies in how it deals its hands."
"The only thing we can do now is learn from our failures and try again." Cozy explained. "Of course, that ended for me when I got turned to stone as punishment from the princesses and Discord. But...I have a second chance now. So do you. So does everycreature else."
Odd Todd sat up.
"If I were you, I would take that second chance and run with it. Show 'em who's boss!" Cozy took flight once more and began to head for the entryway. "You already have all of us. Think about it."
Before he could open his mouth and inquire about what she meant by "all of us" -- since when did she think she was included? -- she was already gone.
He stared at the hallway that lay before him, completely void of life aside from the faint chatter he could hear from the others downstairs. Sighing, he got up and went to the window on the opposite side of the room, taking a seat on the ledge and looking out at the neighbors playing games in the backyard, becoming lost in thought and ignoring the feeling of hunger that began to gnaw at his stomach.
"All right, dinner's ready!" Shadow called, setting two more plates down on the kitchen table in addition to the five already set. She bit back a groan as the sound of footsteps along wooden floors marked the arrival of her fellow villains.
Cozy took a seat in one of the chairs, eyeing the edible item in front of her. It was a simple small cheese pizza, a pizza that looked similar to what the local Buck E. Cheese's would sell. Her mouth began to water, and she couldn't help it.
When was the last time I actually had food?
When was the last time I had something to drink?
...Exactly how long was I trapped in stone for?
Without question, she took a slice and ate it, relishing the taste of it in her mouth. Even before it hit her stomach, it felt filling, and she could feel her brain become scrambled as it tried to process exactly what its host was doing and what all these weird sensations were.
As she swallowed, the taste of cheese, tomato sauce and bread blending together lingered on her tongue in a most harmonious manner. Her eyes widened, and she blinked a couple times as she watched these "hu-mans" eat pizza like it was just a regular everyday thing.
They wouldn't understand, she told herself. They weren't trapped in stone for forever and a half.
She continued to eat her pizza. As much as she wanted to scarf it all down and then beg The Shadow to make more, she resisted the urge, and instead, she relished each and every single bite. What should have taken her about 10 to 15 minutes to eat ended up taking her a whole half-hour, but it was worth it just to feel the melody of flavor that danced on her tongue.
Somewhere along the way, her brain realized that eating was something she was supposed to do and that she had eaten pizza before, and the harmony that was once foreign and mystical became dull and commonplace. With that, she ate the rest of the pizza in silence, and by her fifth slice, everyone had left the kitchen already.
When placing her plate in the sink, she spotted another pizza sitting on the countertop -- no doubt that was Odd Todd's. Cozy spent a good couple minutes staring at it, her mouth beginning to water once again despite being full. But she fought the urge, and took the pizza in her hooves as she made her way up the stairs to Odd Todd's room.
"Knockity knockity, roomie!" she called in singsong, opening the door and quickly spotting Odd Todd sitting on the ledge and continuing to stare out the window.
"Here's your dinner! Shadow left it on the counter, I dunno why. But think of it as another way of repaying you for your kindness."
She put the plate on his desk, but he didn't so much as acknowledge her.
"All righty. Well, I'm gonna stay here for the night, if you don't mind. After all, you were so kind to take me in. Surely you wouldn't kick a lonely, defenseless filly out on the street to fend for herself in the darkness?"
Sickeningly sweet her tone may have been, but it still didn't elicit any reaction. Cozy merely shrugged and made her way downstairs once more, not noticing his icy blue eyes moving towards the pizza.
Later that night, the group was huddled around the living room couch, watching a movie that Cozy didn't recognize. Nonetheless, however, she was enjoying it, and could feel herself begin to grow drowsy.
As her eyes began to close, her ears picked up the sound of someone else walking into the room. Ohlm paused the movie, and everyone swiveled their heads to look with such speed that it made Cozy want to question their instincts.
However, what met them was not an Odd Squad agent, but rather, it was Odd Todd.
"Ah, look who's finally awake." Obbs said.
"I wasn't sleeping." Odd Todd snapped, just before he took a deep breath. "I came here to converse with all of you."
Cozy tilted her head in curiosity.
"First off, about this...horse..." He pointed at the Pegasus filly. "I've decided to let her stay here."
The other villains exchanged glances of surprise.
"Really?" Cozy asked, putting on an innocent facade. "Why? I-I mean, you took me in, but you're not gonna kick me out again? Isn't that what you guys do?"
"You're not affiliated with Odd Squad. I see no reason to kick you out." He shrugged. "Besides, you show promise. I'd like to see you in action, first thing tomorrow."
"Why? What's tomorrow?" Olga asked.
"Tomorrow..." He chuckled. "We strike again. This time, at the Big Office."
"The Big Office?" Obbs's eyes widened.
"Yes. If we want to make Odd Squad fall to its knees, we must take out its leader first." Odd Todd explained. "Oprah may be naturally immortal, but immortality doesn't cover a carefully-aimed attack at her vital organs. And she can't fight forever, either."
Cozy could see Ohlm's eyes shimmer with excitement.
"Tomorrow, we'll come up with a plan, and we'll attack. If we pool our smarts together, we're sure to succeed. Plus..." Odd Todd glanced at Cozy. "It'll be good practice for our newest member."
As murmurs of agreement rippled through the group, Cozy smiled. I was given a second chance at life, and this is my new destiny?
Heh...not too shabby. I'm gonna love this.
"Um..." she spoke, moving over to the coffee table and using it as an impromptu soapbox. "I have something I'd like to say."
The other villains moved their gazes to her, and her smile grew wider.
"Odd Todd already knows this, but...I really relate to all of your stories. Olga?"
Olga's eyes widened.
"When I was placed in Tartarus, I too was...sentenced, in a way, to work for somecreature who I later found out was on the side of good. Grogar was pushy and demanding, but since he always put me in charge, I didn't give him too much grief." the filly explained. "Like you, I stole food and supplies to get by, with the help of Chrysalis and Tirek. It was hard, sometimes. But I was able to taste victory, and I hope that someday, you will too."
Cozy's gaze moved to Ohlm next. "Ohlm, you got super close to defeating Odd Squad's heroes. Even when you got beaten, you didn't show any signs of slowing down. And you even put on a facade like me to fool everycreature...and it worked. I really respect you for that." She felt a warmth in her heart that she hadn't felt before, and it almost made her completely nauseous. "With every blow I took, I always stood up and tried again, no matter what Twilight and all the others threw at me. With your smarts, there's no way Odd Squad has a chance against us."
Next up... "Obbs, mind-control was something I honestly never thought of. Neither did Chrysalis or Tirek. In hindsight, it would have been a great idea." Cozy chuckled. "I admire your passion and dedication. You should try another mind-control plot sometime so I can see it in action!"
Although it was hard to see in the near-darkness, Obbs blushed slightly.
"Odena..." As the girl clutched her chest in surprise, Cozy spoke. "You were a great second-in-command to Odd Todd. Shame you didn't try to usurp him, though..."
"I-I would never!" Odena cried out. "Odd Todd's a better leader than me...if I were leader, the Todd Squad would have collapsed quickly."
"Hmm. Interesting." Cozy shrugged. "Either way, you did good. Maybe someday, you'll be able to..." Her gaze drifted to Odd Todd. "You know what, never mind. You get what I'm digging at."
Odena merely tilted her head in confusion, and was about to ask Cozy what she meant before she moved on to the next villain. "Shadow, I think I can relate to you the most."
"Really?"
"Yeah! I mean, you came up with this idea to use Odd Squad's ideals against them, just like I came up with the idea to team up with Tirek and Chrysalis to fight against Twilight and the others. And even though you ultimately failed, you resorted to turning tail on your own sister when she tried to make you clean up your acts!" Cozy clapped her hooves together excitedly. "I almost couldn't imagine anything better!"
"You're not being genuine."
"Oh, but of course I am. Normally, my sweetness and kindness are all faker than fake..." Cozy swept a hoof across the air. "But who's to say I can't have moments of being authentic with my feelings and thoughts?"
Shadow squinted at the pony, but ultimately sighed and relaxed herself. "Yeah, fine, whatever. Anyway, you're welcome. I'm glad I inspired you so much."
"You want your sister taken out too? Like Oprah?"
The question caught Shadow off-guard, and she stuttered for a moment. "I...well...y-yeah, I guess. Where'd this come from?"
"Eh, I like to plan ahead." Cozy shrugged. "But, um, yeah! Even though this world's super-unfamiliar to me, being with you guys has made me feel at home here, and I'm really grateful to whatever freed me from my stone prison and led me here. So thanks."
"If you're done with the sappy motivational stuff..." Odd Todd rolled his eyes. "Scooch your butts over. I want to watch the movie."
The others moved over on the three-seater couch to allow room for their leader to sit, as well as Cozy once she got off of the coffee table.
The night went by like most every other night. Cozy, fully exhausted after spending the remaining portion of her energy on her speech, fell asleep on the couch within minutes after the movie resumed, her snoring putting a brief halt on it.
"I'll take her upstairs." Odd Todd got up and picked up the sleeping filly, a sigh escaping his lips. "Don't you dare start it again until I come back."
As he made his way through the house, it suddenly dawned on him that he had never given Cozy a proper tour of the house. He made a mental note to do that tomorrow, but for now, he plodded upstairs and roamed the halls until he found a spare guest room, placed in between The Shadow's room and Odena's.
Opening the door and moving towards the bed, he tucked Cozy in, a smile forming on his face as he watched her snore away.
"I know you probably can't hear me..." he said, his words nothing more than a murmur. "But I'm really glad you showed up. It's always nice to have another kid on our side. And...as much as I really hate to say this...you're a good friend, too."
Cozy stopped snoring. Her mouth curved downwards into a frown, but just as quickly turned upwards. "Ally..."
"Ally. Whatever you wanna call it." He shrugged, and moved towards the door. "Tomorrow..."
Cozy shifted in bed.
"Tomorrow, we'll see exactly what skills you have, Cozy Glow. I expect you to bring your all. Let's take down Odd Squad. Together."
He chuckled as he closed the door, and once he made sure it was fully closed, the chuckle evolved into his signature shrill, poisonous cackling laugh.
From inside her new room, Cozy smiled once more.
Author's Note
So I'll admit, this got a tad bit sloppy near the end, even in spite of this being my first time writing Cozy Glow. I had started this in mid-August, but real life wormed its way into things, as it does. A rewrite may be in order sometime in the future, maybe even a sequel, but for now, this is what I have produced for my first-ever contest entry.
When I saw Cozy Glow for the first time, I wondered exactly how she would fare with Odd Squad's menagerie of kid villains. A show known for its more adult villains combined with a show known for its kid villains...and this is the result.
Hopefully you all enjoyed!
