“Yeah… that happened,” i concluded.

“I can’t believe it, why didn't they tell me?” Smarty replied, forgetting a little bit about the Harmonian patterns.

“To spare you, I guess…”

“Spare me from what?”

“Well, Smarty. I don’t know your culture that much, but here, if a pony was transformed into another creature, it would be a big deal for them and everypony around them. If malicious it could be a borderline criminal.”

“Mal… bor… hey, slow down a little, Cheery, I barely caught that,” he protested.

“I suppose Twilight Sparkle was slightly concerned about your full-blown panic attack so she…”

“Purple Smart…” He frowned.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle…” i corrected. “She probably thought you were in a very delicate mental state and wanted to spare you from further… crazy stuff.”

“So I really be… was pony for small time,” he said.

“Yeah, you were a pony for a little while,” I confirmed.

“Here, your drinks, cuties…” Berry Punch interrupted, a mischievous smile already starting to form around her muzzle.

The alien took his mug of only slightly spiced sweet ale and took a long sip, a nice and mild choice for a stallion. I did likewise and drank from my only-double Berry Punch’s special… Berry Punch, something a little bit more… punchy than his drink.

Today was a slow day at the bar. No market day, no special event, no local holiday. There were just a couple of customers here and there. At the beginning I thought that would be a great idea, to get Smarty away from crowds and let him relax, buy him a drink or two (he is a full-grown alien stallion and can handle it so I’m doing absolutely nothing wrong taking a student out for a drink), but I miscalculated a little detail.

Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t…

“So, cuz… you finally got the ti…”

“SHUT UP!” I interrupted my cousin Berry Punch before she could say something inappropriate.

“Ooooooh… so you really did!” she continued her onslaught, her shit-eating muzzle-wrapping smile growing a hair.

Silly cousin Berry Punch… she forced me to do it… I’m not at work right now, but she absolutely forced me to do it. I inhaled, maintained the air inside my lungs for a moment, then exhaled slowly, I cleared my voice and casted my power. Cheerilee Full Teacher Mode activate!

“Oh, excuse me, Miss Punch. I am here with a friend who is actually also a student of mine,” i explained. My voice was now, despite not being any higher or louder, reaching every corner of the bar. Years of teaching do that to you, go figure…

“Oooooh, but your reaction tells me everything I need to know, my little cuzz…” she countered, tilting her head in an attempt to look cute, innocent and silly, but overdoing so slightly so it has the exact opposite effect.

“Oh, sorry about that. I was for a moment under the impression you were going to say the ‘T’ word… absolutely unacceptable, my dear cousin,” i said.

Berry Punch rolled her eyes and for a moment continued to mind her business, figuratively and also quite literally, as she went to serve drinks to the other customers. Crisis averted! For a time…

It was a nice day, wasn’t it? The weather team was doing a good job. The fillies and colts were probably enjoying their unexpected holiday for the day, as I was summoned when this whole transformation mess started. Never a fan of this kind of unexpected interruptions of the teaching, but considering the circumstances… It could have been worse. It could have been your weekly disaster, invasion or monster attack.

Seriously, it happens so often I have scheduled it in my teaching program, to be able to skip a class every other week…

Roadapples… it’s been a couple of weeks; I hope this little funk counts and we don’t have to start running because something is coming… Knock on wood.

I allowed myself to relax. Smarty was brooding over this whole situation, probably coming to terms with it all. Yeah, he probably needs a little bit of time, I won’t interrupt him until he says something, better to look around and take in the sights.

My cousin’s bar is kind of your average rundown, small town bar, but still friendly enough and clean enough to be able to take a stallion to it. Heart shaped holes adorning the off pink painted wooden windows, the old wooden beams supporting the thatched roof, off white interiors with the occasional worn down wooden accent… Yes, she still keeps it decent and friendly yet maintaining that slightly rough, scratched and dented appearance so popular amongst the regular worker-class mare.

And she brews some mad stuff in here. A variety of punches and fruity wines made out of fresh locally grown produce. You could probably serve this in a Canterlot restaurant telling the snobs this was some kind of Prench new trendy drink and they would probably drown in it. But here we were, in a regular out of the mill town with one or two actual tourists a week.

Always support your local brewery.

“I can’t believe it…” Smarty finally said.

“The transformation?”

“No, the way Twil… PURPLESMART… she didn’t tell me! She lie me!” he shouted, and that made Berry’s ear rotate in our direction, a bad sign…

“Applejack was not a fan of that stunt.”

“I don't know what bothers me best… transformation or… no telling. They think I am weak and delicate, they are always taking care of me! I need out of there,” Smarty ranted.

“His accent is adorable…” Berry said as she passed by with a drink ready for another customer, denying me a chance to come back at her as the conversation between Smarty and me continued.

“Well, that’s a way to put it.”

“You didn't tell me at first either.” He now scowled at me.

“No, I didn’t, but I told you afterwards because I think you deserve to know the truth no matter how unpleasant it is, because I know you are able to deal with it. It… just… I didn’t want to tell you in front of a princess, you know? The very same pony who was obviously trying to hide it. She had her reasons, but I think the advantages of telling the truth outweigh lying to you,” i explained.

“Thank you, I guess…”

“You’re welcome.”

I actually took him away from the castle and to a place Twilight very rarely, if ever, comes to so I could freely speak to him. The drinks are a plus, it is also my cousin’s business, and she needs every bit for her treatment.

Even though Berry Punch looks like permanently drunk, I know it is a façade, she is sober, she just fakes it as it has been part of her character from time immemorial.

I know this because her ears are not droopy, they are perky and on a swivel. And a sober Punch is a cunning and dangerous Punch. She is the master of gossip, she just hides it too well, but I bet she could put Rarity to shame, as drunk ponies tend to be honest ponies, and they also tend to lose their restrains so they tell things they normally wouldn’t.

But Berry Punch is not the kind of mare to actually spread the gossip, she keeps it to herself, and uses all that information for… stuff. It helps her business, as she knows very well her customers, she knows how to make them feel welcome, at home, or uncomfortable so they leave when she doesn’t want them there.

But in my case… she knows exactly how to get under my fur, and how and when to strike with a simple word or gesture, to push me into doing something stupid… usually in front of a random stallion because she wants me to get one.

Smarty is an alien, and my student, Berry would never… or would she?

“The nerve on those mares… to hide something like that, like if you could not handle it…” Berry shook her head. Her drunken façade also made her naturally talk slower so Smarty could follow her.

I miscalculated…

“Yeah, I thought taking you out of there would help you to relax a little.” Keep it casual, keep it casual…

“Ooooh, so you actually… took ‘im out!” Damn you, Punch… I served it to her on a silver plate!

“A change of environment, it usually helps after a stressing situation.” Keep it casual, Cheerilee, you can do it! Don’t take the bait!

“Soooo… are you alright? You seem pretty much like you to me… Did they turn you back?” Berry asked Smarty again. No, don’t feed her more information, information is ammunition!

I arched an eyebrow to make her know I KNEW she was up to something.

“Yeah, I’m back to normal, I guess. I don't know how, but normal, yes,” he replied.

Berry briefly half smirked at me, to let me know she knew I knew and she didn’t care and to let me know she was indeed actually up to something.

“The poor thing… did they turn you into something weird? It must’ve been horrible!” She was patronizing and actually treating him like he actually hated to be treated, but she somehow made it work acting as a drunktard.

I frowned at Berry Punch, to tell her I was going to be in control of the situation and whatever she was trying to do was not going to work. At that she briefly looked at the level of my drink, it was almost empty. She liked her lips, I could almost hear her voice in my head, ‘yeah cuzz, no chance…’.

“They turn me into pony,” he told Berry.

“Oh! Well, at least it was a pony.” Berry just acted casual and retired for the time being to attend other customers. Safe for now.

“Are you alright, Cheery?” Smarty asked me, derailing my train of thoughts.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry. Just lost track for a moment.”

“Really? You seemed stressed. Want to talk about it?” He replied, his Harmonian still not perfect.

“It’s nothing, thank you. I just remembered something I need to do and it is a lot of work!” i replied and laughed about it, but it wasn’t as natural as it used to be when in front of the foals.

“If you say so…”

So, we kept to ourselves for a few more minutes as we finished our drinks. Berry Punch was coming back and I realized Smarty was reaching out for his bit pouch.

“Here you have, cousin! My treat, Smarty!” I slammed the bits onto the table a little bit more forcefully than necessary, but just in time to beat Smarty for a fraction of a second, who was still offering the bits to my cousin despite me telling him it was my treat.

“No way, I owe this to you after you teach me.”

Berry Punch just stood there, looking back and forth between the two of us. She was up to something, I SWEAR! Please take MY money and let it be… let it be, let it beeee…

She showed a ‘oh girl, just buckle up, this is going to be a good one…’ smirk.

I scowled a ‘Cousin, don’t you DARE!’ stare.

“Yeeeeah… Sorry, Smarty. My dearest cousin treating a stallion? I won’t take her chance away…” She (thankfully) took my money while not breaking eye contact with me, like if she was expecting something to happen.

Yes… just pay the bill and run for it. Don’t take the bait, I’m done! Victory! At long last!

But like on cue… and Berry’s omnipresent ‘Calculated from the very beginning’ shit-eating smirk…

“Then I pay next round.” Smarty offered the money to my cousin.

“Of course, my dear.” She winked at me.

The drinks were ALREADY on the table, there was NO WAY Berry Punch could have prepared them this quick, she prepared them in ADVANCE! She knew it, she KNEW IT!

“Or are you going to turn him down?” She slurred, now with a ‘You are here trapped WITH me’ scrunched smile.

I’m doomed… buck…

“Alright, alright, you win, Smarty… But after this round I’m going home. I have to work tomorrow.” I resigned to my fate.

And just like that we kept to ourselves for a little longer. Berry was serving yet another client and Smarty was back to brooding. After everything he has been through recently, he was taking it all surprisingly well.

“I need to find a new house,” he said.

“Oh, why is that?”

“Wan… no… I… I mean… I don’t want to depend on Purplesmart, I can um… can’t find word. I want away from ponies.”

“The strong and independent kind of stallion… suits you, cuzz…” Berry said, just passing by.

I just rolled my eyes, but refrained from making any comment on that. It could be another bait.

“Do you have any idea of rent prices?” Smarty asked.

“It’s been a while since I checked, but without a stable income, I doubt you could afford to rent a house. Ponies like that end up teaming up with other ponies to pay for their accommodations. Lyra for example, she gets to play in some bands and concerts in big events from time to time, but being a street musician rarely gives you enough bits to live on,” i explained as I scratched my chin in thought.

“I don’t like the idea of share house with unknown pony,” Smarty said.

“You are working in the right direction. You are known for taking help offers and I think you are starting to get a reputation as a handy pony… or… apetaur or whatever Twilight calls your kind,” i replied.

“Hope so…”

“But was he cute as a pony or what?” Berry said out of nowhere, making another pass.

“Buh… wah?” I almost did a spit take.

“You know, as a pony, was he handsome?” she asked. And Smarty heard it as he also turned his attention to our conversation.

Oh, you little…

“Uh… eh… Sorry, I had more urgent worries there rather than thinking if he… well…” Buck… again cornered. If I said yes, Berry would get what she wanted, if I said no, in front of him… I needed to avert the question.

“How did you look? Out of curiosity.” Berry asked innocently, but I knew she was again up to something.

“I don’t remember. Too scared.” Smarty replied.

“But you saw him, didn’t you, cuz?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“What race of pony was he?” Berry seemed genuinely interested.

“Pegasus.” I provided.

“Yeah, I remember the wings.” Smarty looked comfortable enough to carry on.

“Which color?” Asked Berry.

“Brown coat.” I said.

“Yes, I remember seeing muzzle…”

“And his mane and tail?” Berry asked again.

“Orange… like fiery orange.”

“Ooooh, spicy! That sounds like it goes together pretty well. And the cutie mark?” She casually kept the conversation going while drying a glass with a piece of cloth.

“It was a…” I froze. Berry was grinning like a loon. “I did NOT check his butt, okay!?”

“Oh, my dear cousin, you ABSOLUTELY did!”

And she proceeded to lose it and roll on the floor with laughter. Oh, my dear Celestia, I wanted to disappear from embarrassment. Yet Smarty was there, smiling at the display, as dense as ever and blissfully oblivious, Luna bless him…

Yeah, the damage was done. Berry Punch managed to make me feel VERY single… again… and the alien was now checking his little square shinny device, as he usually does when he is idle. What he does with it or why I have no idea.

I just took another sip of my drink and deflated on top of the table. Feeling very lonely in a certain department. I might be a successful mare, a balanced one, I am respected as a cultured and productive member of society, I have an important role and a job paid by the ministry of public education. Yet still no coltfriend.

Author's Note

I guess I wanted to start the chapter with a Cheerilee scene and well... this happened. Whole chapter featuring Cheerilee and Punch interactions.

I also used Cheerilee PoV to show how more or less is our local human progressing with the language. He still sounds slightly weird to the ponies sometimes.

I sometimes make little references to other fanfics like, not enough to assume they are in the same universe, but enough to make people remember them as a tribute (they are their own thing and I'm not going to use their stories, obviously, so no, our human is not going to space and back to Earth this way for obvious reasons). I wanted to point that out because this chapter contains one of those references to another, kind of less known story.

Revised by Tincho argentum 9002 Thank you very much!