Still No Signal

by Axel Azabash

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Main 6, Cheerilee, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 80803

Human gets lost in the forest, he tries to use his phone to find his way back and for some reason it isn't working. Weird things start to happen, because you can imagine where he is now...

What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

Published 2022-08-12 22:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-16 21:18:36 UTC

2- At least it wasn't a manticore...

A howl in the distance.

Great, wolves territory...

And the Sun was gone... according to my watch and my phone, at 2 pm in the afternoon...

And the GPS was off, and the line was also off...

Ok, shelter, I needed shelter, and if I remember it fine, wolves shouldn't be able to climb a tree, the problem is... would I be able to climb a tree? With that in mind, I started to inspect some trees to find a good one. It should be easy to climb to, free from creatures, ants and bugs in general if possible…

What was that putrid, humid, rotten smell? Probably something to do with this place.

The bushes behind me rustled, derailing my reverie.

Was that horrible creature following me? I looked around, but saw nothing. Ok, the forest was uncannily quiet and there was that weird smell in the air, something like wood rotting. Well, it's a flipping jungle, that smell should be expected.

But for some reason, it only made me uncomfortable now, I didn’t notice it before.

I continued inspecting trees, but out of instinct, checking if there was something behind me every few seconds. Ok, this was one of those moments in terror films, that moment when the music stops and the silly girl starts calling for her missing boyfriend, but that only happens in the movies.

What really happens in reality is that when you have the sensation that something is following you, or something is really wrong, you get silent, you crouch, looking around and pick up the first thing that can be used as a weapon... a stone the size of my fist and the biggest stick I could find. That's much better. Then, it was time to get out of there, as quickly and stealthy as possible.

More rustling behind me.

I turned around in time to see some bushes shaking, and a relatively big wood branch moving too quickly for it to be only the wind... and there was no wind. Ok, there was something following me, and I could point the bush where it was hiding, but I couldn't see anything, only leaves, branches, wood... just the plants.

Ok... it should be a really small thing then. I started walking backwards, then checked behind, looked around and continued more quickly. As I was going faster, the thing that was following me also moved faster, therefore, it wasn't as sneaky as before and I could hear its steps, the bushes hitting it, the branches cracking and even a faint panting.

I stopped and turned around, stone in hand, in time to see something moving, hiding behind a tree trunk and looking at me with green eyes. Ok, there it was, I squinted my eyes and saw it.

It was almost impossible to see when it was still, but I had followed the movement until it stopped again. It was a wolf face peeking from behind the tree, but it was poorly made from wood, it looked like a wolf puppet crudely crafted, there were even some leaves sticking out of it, and it had unnatural green eyes. Ok, so that thing... is just a dummy? Is it Halloween already? It can't be...

"Ok, very funny, whoever you are, come out already..." I said, relaxing a little.

But that dummy inclined its head to one side, staring at me with curiosity. Then, slowly, one branch came out on its own... Wait... not a branch, but a wood leg... then another, and another... The dummy wolf came into view, all crudely shaped, acting really natural, like a real wolf, and nobody was behind it... No strings, no mechanisms, just a pair of green glowing eyes and a sickly, stinky green smoke coming out of its mouth.

It approached slowly to me, just as any predator in front of a new prey. Slowly, my brain processed the whole situation. A creature half snake half chicken lacked any kind of logic, this wood dummy wolf also lacked any logic, it was just an animal made out of wood, and it had fangs and claws, they were made out of wood, but that green saliva didn't look very healthy, I wouldn't like to get an infected wound just yet...

I raised the stick and the stone, taking a step closer to that thing in order to look menacing. It worked a little, it stepped back but growled, showing its wooden teeth. It accepted the challenge and crouched, ready to pounce.

I hit it with the stone, making a loud crunch sound at the impact. I don't have an extremely good accuracy, but that thing was big, and I was close enough. It jumped back, shrieking and then whining like a puppy. It ran away, and I ran in the opposite direction, grabbing another stone.

Yes, it worked. When you are in front of a predator, you don't need to be stronger than it, just show it that if it tries to get you, it is likely to end up wounded, and you don't want to end wounded after hunting a prey just for food. It's just not worth it unless you are desperate.

I needed to find shelter, but I wanted to put as much distance as I could from the wood wolf and the snake-chicken.

More howls, this time a few of them, and they were uncomfortably close to me. And I could hear the sound of something running in my direction. One of them was okay... but if there were a few... It could be very, very bad... But I had no escape. I tried to run at first, but they just kept my pace.

I knew this... they were WAY faster than me. They were just chasing me. They wanted me to get tired, to exhaust myself so I could be an easier prey. Not happening anymore, change in tactics. Wow... the things adrenaline does to you... I was in extreme panic, but for some reason, I didn't lost it, I just got into fight or flight mode. I could hear my heartbeat, it was painfully strong, cold sweat covering my face, and I had just one thing in my mind: Do the best possible thing you can think of. If I was going to die, at least I was going to be as much of a challenge for those things as I could.

I turned around with my stone and stick and prepared myself to fight. They came out slowly.

Three of them.

At least three that I could see. In the middle was the one that I encountered first, I could recognize it, they were quite different because of how crudely and irregularly they were shaped.

I threw the stone at the closest one, the one on the left, but it dodged and stepped back. I crouched and grabbing another stone, I threw it at the one on the middle, the first one and now, it was the closest one. The stone crashed into its head, taking half of it away with a loud crack, but the dummy wolf didn't move an inch.

"Hah! Suck it! Now you will think twice before trying to get... me?" The words died in my throat beholding the scene in front of me.

The twigs and leaves that had been cut off from the wolf's face were slowly returning with that creepy green glowing smoke. The wolf kept advancing without a care in the world.

I took a few steps back, grabbing another stone. I threw it at the wolf again. It didn't dodge and let me hit it. The little damage done was already regenerating. The other wolves got it. Whatever attack I could do, wasn't going to be enough to cause them any serious damage.

I looked around for a moment, searching any way out of there, and then sprinted to a nearby tree. I could feel their fetid breath behind me, chasing me, but I reached the tree and started to climb.

Something pulled me down, and I kicked it out of instinct. With a crunch and a whinny, the dummy wolf fell to the ground. Then I realized that I could really climb a tree, the things adrenaline makes you do. I was sitting on a big branch halfway up. There were a lot of branches coming out of the trunk so I could use them easily the rest of the way.

The wolves barked, howled, jumped, tried to bite the lower branches, but they wouldn't stay up for a long time before slipping and falling to the ground. It looks like in the end wolves really couldn't climb trees, at least not the wood kind of wolves... whatever.

I winced when I used my right leg for support. Looking at it closely, I saw the bite mark. It was bleeding. Looking down, I saw one of the wolves licking its muzzle... Okay, they managed to bite me. With the adrenaline rush, the pain was ignored, but now that it was wearing off, it stung badly.

The wolves continued circling the tree trunk, biting it, clawing it, looking for a way up and trying to scare me off of the tree. There were five of them right now, but I didn't care.

One problem at a time.

I had shelter, a precarious one, but shelter. I should find a secure and comfortable branch to spend the night. The wolves would probably get tired and I had plenty of food and water in my backpack. One thing was for sure, I was going to get little to no sleep that night. And the wounded right ankle stung as hell.

I sat on a branch, with the tree trunk between my legs. I put my backpack backwards, in front of me, so I could take the stuff inside comfortably. Taking one of the water bottles I cleaned the wound and put a little disinfectant from my first aid kit using one hand and kind of guessing where the wound was in the dark by the way it stung when the squirt of alcohol hit it, but I could not comfortably bandage it without risking a fall, or try to inspect it closely. That's it, the best thing I could do. Then I drank a little and rested against the tree.

Then I remembered something. I used my phone to make an emergency call. But after a few unresponsive seconds, the robotized female voice informed me that there were no telephone lines available… Still no signal.

3- At least I had a lighter

Those pesky dummy wolves... they wouldn't go away... Growls, barks, pacing, circling the tree... they were persistent. Sometimes they looked like they were talking to each other... how peculiar. I would love to investigate that behavior but from a safe distance, of course.

I tried to recreate in the stars and the moon. Wow... the moon was abnormally HUGE, and full... and uncanny... I'm no expert in astronomy, but that moon didn't look the same.

“Because that’s no moon…” I said to myself.

The stars were also weird. There weren't as many stars as I would have expected from an area without lights, but they were bright, like a telltale sky, like someone had painted it. There also should be the faint glow of the nearby city, but there wasn’t.

“One moment... then...” I checked my phone again. No line and no GPS signal. If the sky was that weird, could it mean that...

What? What would it mean? That this wasn't the normal sky and that's why there weren't satellites? Probably my phone was broken... that looked more reasonable.

Then again... wood wolves and snake chickens... How reasonable was that?

It got really dark. If it weren't for the huge full moon, I couldn't probably see anything. I picked my flashlight and pointed it downwards to see how my woody friends were doing. They looked just fine and healthy, except for the fact that they avoided the light when they first saw it.

Would I be able to scare them with my flashlight? Maybe stun and blind them enough time to run away? Not worth enough, I knew the killers were always faster than the survivors... If I tried to get down the tree scaring them with the light, they would eventually figure out that it's harmless... And would chase me... and kill me... and tear me to pieces... and throw every piece into a fi...

WAIT.

Small source of light, they are scared of it... That's IT! FIRE! They are made out of wood!

They were scared because they thought that I had fire, but no, it was just a mysterious little glowing device... The point is... Did I really have fire? But of course! I had a lighter. It's way better than using friction to start a fire... way, way better...

Picking up my lighter, I used it to create a little flame and showed it to the dummy wolves. They suddenly stopped and stared back at me with their ears flat and a variety of expressions on their woody faces, ranging from 'The hell is that?' to 'Are you kidding me?' Yes, they were that expressive. They looked to each other emitting timid growls and barks.

"Okay, let's try this." I said out loud. I grabbed a few dead dried twigs and lighting one on fire a little I let it fall just above one of the wolves. The wolf jumped away whining like the twig on fire was the evil incarnated.

The little flame died out a few seconds after touching the damp ground. The risk of causing a fire in this fucking jungle was low because of how humid it was, and if I did, it could all go to hell after the trouble and bullshit it was throwing at me.

The wolves accepted the challenge at first. Growling at me, they went back at biting, clawing and circling the trunk. I lighted another little twig, and instead of letting it fall gently, I threw it at one of the wolves that was busy clawing the tree trunk and it didn't see it coming.

The twig got tangled with its little branches and leaves, setting some of them on fire. When the wolf realized it, it shrieked, running around and finally rolling on the ground, whining like a puppy. The little blackened patch of its bark and leaves didn't regenerate, and the other wolves stepped back from the tree.

After another set of timid barks and growls, they all finally ran away.

"Yeah! Run away, filthy clanners! Inner Sphere rules!" I screamed back at them. "Fucking Timberwolves, they are OP."

...

The forest remained silent.

Sorry... fat chance... Anyways... 'Timberwolves' sounded really accurate to describe those creatures. And I’m way above making the easy Pokemon type reference.

Knowing that plant pokemons were weak against fire was more useful here than your regular survival guide, what the fuck was going on?

The crickets started chirping, and I rested my head on the trunk of the tree. It was going to be a long, long night, and it was way too cold to just wear shorts and a tee...

***

Of course, I didn't have any sleep that night, it was too cold. The sunrise was also... peculiar. It started with the normal faint glow above the horizon... and then, suddenly, the Sun came out, just like that. I should be freaking out about that, but after the weird moon and sky, the timberwolves and the chicken-snake... I just found myself saying out loud "Okay..."

The pain in my right ankle made me remember the timberwolves... and all their families... hope they all burn in hell. But now I know their weakness... them plant 'mons are weak to fire attacks! It was super effective! If they came back again, they were going to have a bad time... I should prepare a torch or two... Well, I guess my reference standards were getting lower over time, I needed at least to have a laugh to cope with this mess.

But the ankle... It was already an awkward climb to get down. How I had managed to climb this tree was beyond my knowledge... just the power of adrenaline, I suppose. It's a trick I wasn't going to be able to do again with the wounded ankle... the bite looked deep, and it hurt a lot. Luckily, it wasn't bleeding anymore, but my right shoe was now a nice composition of different shades of reds and browns. And the ankle was slightly swollen. I poured some more water on the wound, trying to clean it a little, then some more disinfectant and bandaged it crudely, but the ridiculous first aid kit I had was more meant for little scratches rather than this, I couldn’t even cover it all with the couple of sterile cloths it had.

I opened my backpack and took one of the sandwiches I had for the picnic. I had four of them, and two water bottles, one of them half full... yes... half full... stay positive... The rest was in my car, parked probably a couple of universes away.

I checked the phone, no signal. 56% battery left... I fastened the little solar panel to the backpack and used the extra battery to load again the phone back to 100% while charging the power bank with the panel. I didn't need it, it had plenty of battery left, but it felt right just to do something productive.

I got up, but my ankle screamed in pain. Ok, I needed to use a big stick for support. I would also have it ready just in case I got attacked by other creatures. Even though I was still hungry, I only ate one of my sandwiches... Who knows for how long I would be out in the forest without any help? And I didn't want to know how the bugs taste, and they could also poison me...

Wincing and limping I continued my way... Just walk. I had nothing left in my mind. This was starting to become pointless. With a wounded and probably infected ankle, I wouldn't be able to make it too far. That's it... they won... those timberwolves were going to let me slowly die so they could eat me.

In order to distract myself from those dark places, I checked the phone again.

Still no signal.

Chirps and tweets.

The crickets and night creatures went to sleep, and now there were happy birds and day critters like squirrels and stuff like that. It was heartwarming although it was still cold, even with the Sun up. It all cheered me a little bit.

A pair of birds flew around me, really, really close, and then they landed on a nearby branch, looking at me and tweeting to each other. How peculiar, it looked like they were talking. They tweeted at me, and I tried to tweet back. I'm pretty good at tweeting. Hashtag chirp! They flew around me in circles while twitting and chirping, then again, they landed on another branch nearby. It looked like they were interested in me. Looking carefully I saw that one was red, and the other blue. Why two birds from different species would fly together and why they were interested in me was beyond comprehension. How peculiar.

After a few minutes of interacting with me, the two birds flew away, leaving me alone again. That was a good distraction, but I was still lost in this jungle. Well, as they say... one step at a time... I continued slowly walking away.

***

"There you go, little sweeties... not so fast." Fluttershy said to her little animals while pouring some food on their bowls. The animals just ignored her advice and stuffed their faces as fast as they could.

She went outside, checking that the bird feeders were full, a few birds already feasting on them. Happy tweets and chirps greeted the mare. Suddenly, a pair of birds, a blue robin and a cardinal flew around her, chirping furiously.

"Oh, my... Please, calm down, sweeties. Please..." She said in a kind tone. The birds landed on the feeders, not even paying attention to the food, they just tweeted and chirped to Fluttershy.

"Please, calm down, one at a time." Fluttershy tried to calm them down, her sweet expression turning a little into one of worry. "What happened?"

The two birds looked into each other, then back to the mare and again, started to tweet and chirp at the same time.

"Shhhh... ok, please. Um... you." Fluttershy hushed the birds and pointed to the blue robin with a hoof. Both birds went silent, then, the blue bird started to chirp and tweet.

Fluttershy's face went from worry to curiosity, then shock, and finally worry again. "Really? Where did you see it?"

The bird twitted back.

"That's near the castle and... into the timberwolves's territory... Oh my..." Fluttershy put a hoof on her mouth. "They could hurt it..."

Then, the cardinal chirped.

Fluttershy gasped. "Is it hurt already!? Oh no... Poor thing. Ho... How can we help it?"

The cardinal tweeted.

"Th... The Everfree forest? I... I... just... It's too dangerous." Fluttershy stuttered.

The blue robin shrugged its little blue wings and twitted.

"I know, I know... It's not that far, and there shouldn't be any dangerous creatures at this time of the day, but... Is it that bad?" Asked Fluttershy.

The cardinal tweeted again.

"Okay... I know..." Fluttershy looked down. The two birds looked at each other again. After a few seconds, Fluttershy perked up again. "I have plan! You two, go back to where the strange creature is and try to guide it back to the path. I will go to Zecora's hut for some medicines, and then I could go a little further to help it, If... if it's too bad, I can bring it here." The two birds stared at her.

"I... if you don't mind, of course..." Fluttershy blushed "I will be at Zecora's house." The two birds chirped, ruffled their feathers and took flight.

Fluttershy took a few seconds to calm herself down, then ran into her house, took her first aid kit and ran out of her cottage, telling Angel Bunny to guard the house while she was out.

She stopped in front of the Everfree. "Ok, there we go..." then, after a few shaky steps, she ran into the forest, headed to Zecora's hut.

***

The ankle was killing me, walking was a pain, but if I stayed, I wouldn't get anywhere. I was hungry so I took another sandwich. I felt weak, and I wasn't going to let my meal to go as an additional snack to the creatures in this cursed place. I didn't know how much blood I had lost, probably not a lot, but enough to make me feel weak. Probably I was also getting sick because of an infection... Those stinky muzzles didn't look very healthy.

I ended up eating all the remaining food. I needed a little boost, something, anything to distract my mind. It somehow felt good to just sit down and have my meal like nothing was happening.

I was getting up when suddenly, the birds came back, flying around, chirping all the time. Then, they landed in front of me, a few meters away.

"Hello, what's up?" I greeted the birds. They chirped and flew away, but landed again a little further. I got closer, then they chirped and flew away another few meters.

"Okay... well..." I scratched my head, puzzled by those weird birds. Then decided to continue in the direction I was walking before.

The birds flew around me again, chirping all the time and repeated the process. Landing near me, and when I got closer, they moved a little, and then a little more.

"What do you want?" I asked them... like if they were going to tell me. At least they ruffled their feathers and chirped. Well, that was a relatively good answer, for a bird I mean...

After five minutes, I started following the birds. They seemed happy about it, probably they wanted me to follow them. Why would a pair of birds want me to follow them? I had no idea, but in this cursed place, all the creatures seemed a little more intelligent than they should be.

And a lot more expressive.

Would it be a good thing to follow the birds? I had no idea, but I realized something. I wasn't thinking about my situation, nor my ankle anymore, they were distracting me, they gave me an objective, as silly as it was, just discover what the heck did those birds want.

I was getting out of the course I wanted to follow, a straight line until I found something, but thinking about it, that tactic didn't work before, and now? I was in no condition to cover large distances, so I would end up giving up really soon.

With all those thoughts in mind, I decided that following birds that wanted me to do so was a little objective that would keep me going. Therefore, I followed, letting them decide the direction I should go, after all, the directions, the area, the maps... everything seemed wrong. And my trusty phone still had no signal.

Author's Note

Will be our human able to survive?

Well, probably, because I have a story to write and I have kind of a sequel already published, somehow...

4- At least the yellow winged little equine lifeform is adorable

A trail.

A trail? Really? Yes... yes... YES, YES , YES!

Those little birds had guided me back to a path! That meant that I wouldn't scratch my legs anymore with the wild flora, I would be able to move faster and more comfortably... But not only that. A path meant transit, people using it to go somewhere.

Yes, it meant my way back to civilization. A trail that only by foot can be traveled, it was too precarious for any kind of vehicle... maybe for mountain bike riding? For some reason, I thought about horse riding too. Well, the point is that it should be a matter of time, someone would come across or I should arrive somewhere, but it wasn't over yet. I would probably have to walk a long distance with my wounded ankle, but at least I had a clear objective. That thought filled me with determination.

The birds looked at each other, and after a little exchange in their tweet language (Tweetish?) The red one flew away following the path, the blue one stayed with me, doing the same thing they were doing before. I thanked the birds, I know they don't speak, but in this place? Who knows if they are some kind of disguised spy for the creatures’ overlord.

I followed the path for an hour or so, at my current speed, I should have walked only a mile or two at best. The blue bird was just checking me here and there to see if I was still following the trail.

Some rustling in front of me.

I stopped, tightened the grip on my stick and listened carefully. Something was getting closer from the opposite direction. If it was a person, I should have been able to see them already, therefore it should be something short enough to be hidden behind the vegetation that grew at the sides of the path. The path snaked a lot, it wasn't a straight line, the vegetation covering anything shorter than a big dog from sight.

A big dog....

Or a wolf...

I crouched, but the path was relatively clean of big stones, I just could grab a handful of dirt and gravel.

Bright colors.

There were two general ways animal survived. They camouflaged, or they showed their presence with bright colors as a warning. Something pink and yellow could be seen trough the foliage.

Bright pink and yellow? That thing sure is poisonous as hell...

The birds just were on a branch, tweeting and chirping as usual. The red one had come back. They were looking at me and at the unknown creature.

I got up and stepped back, a gasp was heard in front of me. Coming from a bend in the path, the creature came into sight. Big teal eyes looked at me, slightly worried and curious, then in shock.

It was a four-legged creature, relatively big head and enormous eyes. It had a pair of little wings, probably more ornamental or vestigial than really functional. Yellow fur, pink hair, it was really the size of a big dog, maybe a little bigger, with a head that looked the same size as a human head, really big in proportion of its body, giving it a cartoonish look.

Its legs ended in relatively big yellow hooves... An equine? Then the elements fell into place. Horse ears, horse tail and mane, fur... A miniature horse? With wings? The face was really off, it had the muzzle, eyes, ears and everything but it looked extremely human and expressive. Its eyes were looking more forwards than those of normal horses, the muzzle was short, the head round instead of long. It was off, uncanny... but... extremely adorable.

The cartoon horse looked at me in shock and stepped back in fear, scanning me with its overgrown eyes. Ok, it didn't look like a menacing creature, but I wasn't going to touch it just yet...

I relaxed and let the handful of dirt and gravel fall to the trail, I used my shorts to clean off the dust in my hand. After a few seconds, and stepping back a little to give this creature some space, and trying to show that I meant no harm, its eyes locked on my ankle.

Suddenly, the tiny winged horse lifted one hoof and put it near the muzzle. Its expression changed to one of realization, its mouth forming a little 'O'. It started walking towards me.

I stepped back, I didn't trust it yet. Then, the creature started to say something to me. It was a series of horse like sounds, but in a gentle, calming and sing-song-ish way.

It smiled brightly at me and then motioned with its hoof for me to sit down, hushing me with that weird singsong horse sounds.

“Sit down? But… why would you want me to…”

Then I realized another thing. It was carrying something strapped to its sides. A backpack? Sidepacks? I don't know, but they had little red crosses painted on the sides.

Here I was, in the middle of the mysterious jungle... with evil and dangerous creatures, wounded and hopeless. But then, a tiny winged horse brought me a med kit to save the day... Yeah, why not?

I sat down and let the tiny horse come closer. When I was going to just grab the med kit, it started to pet my right leg with its yellow hoof, looking at me with a reassuring smile and talking to me in sing-horse-ish.

“I don’t know if everything is going to be alright. It’s been pretty bad until now.” I replied.

After that, the tiny horse used its wings to open the medkit. The feathers looked as if they were giant fluffy hands, and I was sure they shouldn't behave like that, but... after the stuff I had had to cope with in this place...

As I was going to take the disinfectant from those little bags with a red cross, a yellow wing slapped my hand really, really gently, and the tiny winged horse hushed me and motioned me to not move. How did I know it wanted me to not move? I had no idea, probably body language, or her expression, or those enormous and expressive eyes, or the tune in its voice... It felt like I needed not to move and let it do its work.

I thought it was a girl... She is pink, yellow, with a sweet girly voice and butterflies painted on her flank. That 'it' was getting old really quickly so I decided to think of her as a 'she'.

She stopped, holding a little flask with her mouth, just a few inches away from my wounded ankle, then she hushed me a bit more and used a hoof to pet my leg, and at the same time, holding it firmly with the other, like if I was going to run away if she used the disinfectant. Sure, it would sting, but I'm no animal.

"Go on, girl... What are you waiting for?" I said.

She neighed softly in that sing song way

"I know it's going to sting, just do it already."

Reassuring neighs and snorts.

“No, I’m not that brave, I just know that it needs to be done. I just wanted to do it myself, if possible.” I replied.

She smiled sheepishly and poured the liquid into my wound. I tensed immediately, but I didn't make any sudden movements. Feeling me tensing a little, she continued hushing and doing what it looked like calming sounds and petting my leg near the wounded area.

"Hey, I knew it was going to sting, but I'm fine, thank you. Please, continue." I said in a calmed tone. The miniature horse's sheepish smile got more pronounced and she blushed, hiding a little behind her pink hair before continuing her job. Gee... I could have done it myself.

After a few minutes, the wound was perfectly taken care of, wrapped in clean bandages and disinfected. I stood up and used the stick as support.

"Well, I suppose I should get going. Thank you, little one. Um... one more thing... I'm kind of lost here. Do you think you can tell me where I am?" I asked. I knew she couldn't talk, but somehow it felt right to thank her and ask for directions. Who knows, maybe she could understand me. She had shown that she was really smart for an animal.

The tiny horse looked at me with a quizzical expression and then shrugged.

"Okay then... Nice to meet you and thank you for everything." I started to limp my way again, following the dirt road, feeling strangely weak. The little yellow equine following me, studying my movements for a few steps, then she suddenly put herself in front of me, cutting my way.

"What do you want now?" I asked. I felt too weak to be annoyed.

The equine whinnied and neighed in her soft nice sing song way, pointing at me with a hoof, then at my wounded ankle, a worried expression in her face, then she pointed at herself with a smile and motioned me to follow her.

"You want me to come with you?" I asked. She nodded.

"Oh... kay...?" I answered hesitantly.

So, we started walking side by side. The little equine trying to come up with a way to give me some support in order to help me walk, but she was too short for doing so in an efficient way. After trying to offer her back, her wings and her head for support, she stopped and motioned me to stop for a moment.

She started to analyze me, the way I walked and the way I limped. She circled me for a little while, her face showing some serious thinking going on. Then, out of the blue, something poked my legs from behind and forced itself in between. In my weakened state I almost fell to the ground. When I realized what was going on, the tiny horse was between my legs.

"Wha... What? What are you doing?" I asked, puzzled by that weird action.

'Speaking' in that horse sounds she used her wings to grab me by the waist and pulled down gently.

"There is no way I’m going to let you do that.” I told her.

A gentle sing song whinny.

“Really? You are way too small for that." I reasoned, but she pulled a little harder and I gave up. Then, one wing stayed on my waist, and the other grabbed my wounded leg, taking it out of the ground, then the other leg. For a moment I thought I was going to fall, but I managed to stay up.

“You are going to get hurt, I’m too heavy for you.”

It was the weirdest sensation. Like riding a mini bike, considering that I had to flex my legs in order to avoid touching the ground, but I was riding something alive, and she was struggling to stand.

“Neigh neigh, snort.”

“Does not.”

“Snort…”

“Does not!”

“Whinny neigh… snort.”

I tried to stand up, but she pressed her wings against me, preventing me from doing so. If I hadn't been wounded, tired and generally not feeling very good, I could have escaped easily from her wings, and probably if I fought right then, I could had anyways... But I didn't feel like it.

"I'm way too heavy for you, and you are way too small... this is not going to be healthy for you, you are going to hurt yourself." I tried to dissuade her... Gee, like if she could understand me, but I had that nagging sensation she could...

She looked back at me, a little frown of concentration and determination on her adorable face and then she started to walk again, with me on top of her.

“Okay, if you insist… but mind you, if you get hurt doing this, there are wolves made out of wood out there, and I don’t want them to get you too.”

“Neigh neigh… whinny snort, neigh.” She shivered and her wings ruffled, but she seemed stubborn.

“No matter how close we are. I’m still kind of a burden to you like this.”

“Whinny.”

“Okay, if you say so…” I relented to her reasoning.

She smiled and used a wing to pat my head.

My mighty steed followed the trail, with me feeling really uncomfortable about her... She was stubborn, she could've hurt herself, and whereas I always wanted to learn to ride a horse, I definitely had another idea about how it should have been, not with a little winged cutesy equine that looked like she had come out of a fairy tale. And on top of that, I had maintained a one-sided conversation, and lost it against her... and she had bandaged my wound like a pro...

Just deal with it... I wasn't resisting this weird place anymore, let it be that way then. Her little vestigial wings were like a feather blanket on my legs, helping me a little with the cold weather too.

We passed a witch hut... hmmm, this should be a swamp biome then... The witch was actually looking at us. It was a cute little zebra with golden rings everywhere. Well, that was cool, okay, not the strangest thing I've ever seen... The zebra looked nice, as long as it didn’t start to throw weird potions at us. And I was starting to get a little sleepy and dizzy.

"Is she one of your friends?" I asked the little horse.

She answered in a cheerful sing song kind of weird and much elaborated horse noises.

"Ok, that's cool. Are you okay? Should I let you rest a little? You look tired." I asked her.

She again answered in a kind of tired but determined way, and didn't stop.

The zebra waved at us, and I waved back, the zebra smiled at us and nodded. The yellow one waved but almost lost her balance with me on top of her so she just smiled sheepishly and continued.

"Really, I'm worried about you, little girl." I said, starting to stand up, but again she grabbed my waist with her wings and forced me to sit down.

The little horse and the little zebra exchanged a few horse words and then, the yellow one shook her head and walked away, still with me on top of her, leaving a slightly worried zebra behind.

After a few more minutes we came out of the forest, there was a cute little cottage covered in foliage, plants and birdfeeders. The terrain was smooth little hills and a quaint little stream of water below a little, picturesque bridge. In the distance, I could see a little medieval but colorful town, and in other direction I could spot a farm with red barns and rows of trees.

But everything was slightly smaller than it should be, and the grassy hills, and all those colors... Well, I thought in that moment that I had finally discovered where I was. I was in a hobbit town... but with hobbit horses... I had a growing headache, and the dizziness and tiredness were getting stronger. So, I was dealing with it just like that. It was sure a dream or something.

The little yellow horse opened the door to the cottage and came in, finally letting me rest in a relatively small but comfortable sofa. She sighed in relief and ruffled her feathers, also stretching a little and tested if all her joints and muscles were alright. Then, she motioned me to lie down on the couch, and I did. Now, without the feather blankets, I started to tremble a little, it was really cold now, even indoors.

The yellow little horse (And I need to give her a nickname or something) looked at me with a worried expression and then said something in her language that sounded like a question.

"It's just really cold... I need more clothes or something..." I answered. And she ran out of the room and went upstairs... Oh, there were stairs to another floor, I just noticed that. In my actual condition I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings anymore.

She came back with some blankets and put them on me, relieving some of the coldness. She used her mouth and hooves to make sure they were just fine and snug, and then she brought an old fashioned thermometer that she tried to put on me, but I took it from her and put it in one of my armpits. I frowned at her and she smiled sheepishly, then she ran out of the room again.

The headache was preventing me from falling asleep, but I had my eyes closed. I was feeling really bad in general. Shaking and sweating at the same time, my ankle was still hurting and I was starting to feel some nausea.

I felt a little gentle touch on my side and I opened my eyes. The winged equine was just there, she looked like she wanted something.

"Oh, I know..." I took the thermometer and looked at it. Instead of numbers it had some pretty funny symbols I couldn't read, so I passed it back to the girl. She looked at it with a worried expression and then she ran away again.

After some minutes, I heard some activity around me, so, I opened my eyes again, and there she was. She had pushed a little table near the couch and there was a little tray with a plate of soup, a glass of water and a tiny box with those funny symbols that she seemed to hide immediately in an awkwardly obvious way.

Then, something that blew my already obtuse mind... again.

She grabbed a spoon with a hoof.

A single hoof.

It was like she had magnets or something. The spoon just stuck to it. Maybe she was a robot after all. That would explain some things... and would raise a hundred more questions and inconsistencies...

I didn't have more time to think about it, as the equine used the spoon to take a bit of soup and put it near my face, then she started to do some funny motions with it imitating what I identified as the sound of a train...

Ok, I had survived the attack of a 'snaken', a pack of wood wolves had tried to hunt me down, I had survived a cold night on top of a tree and I was feeling sick, but right then, I knew that the thing that was most likely to kill me was a heart attack due to cuteness overload.

After a few moments of intense diabetes, heart attacks and internal 'awwwws' I sipped carefully at the spoon, taking the liquid and leaving exposed what I saw her awkwardly trying to hide inside the soup a moment before, a little white square pill.

"What is this?" I took carefully the pill with my fingers and showed it to her.

The little horse smiled sheepishly in a really adorable manner and said something, motioning to the pill, then to the little bags with a red cross and then to me again.

"So... It's medicine... Well, you could just have given it to me." I took the pill with the help of the glass of water.

The little horse sighed in relief and then said something in an encouraging manner to me. While doing so, I grabbed the hoof that was holding the spoon and looked at it carefully. The small horse emitted an 'eep' sound and pulled back a little, but not very hard and she relaxed immediately.

The underside of her hoof wasn't really hard, more like a cat’s paw, it was kind of divided in two halves that would press together to get some grip on the spoon, it was like trying to hold something just using your palm and not the fingers, it was enough to manipulate things but not as strong or precise as a hand, because I just took the spoon from her with little resistance. So, it's not magnets after all, just a trick with the weird underside of her hoof.

Yes, I figured out something and gave it a normal explanation. The small, yellow, winged, medic, telepathic, equine lifeform used a prehensile underside of a limb to hold objects. Hah! Science one, whatever the fuck this is… uh… a big number.

The soup was relatively dense, somewhere between just soup and mashed errr... vegetables, I thought, because I couldn't identify any meat in it. For some reason, my nausea went away a little, replaced by a little hunger, not much, but enough for me to want to eat at least the soup. It was savory, even though I could barely taste it because of my stuffy nose. If it was a little tasteless, I couldn't have tasted it at all, that’s for sure.

The yellow equine, and I REALLY needed to come up with a nickname for her, just watched carefully while I ate, getting closer every time I opened the mouth. She was trying to see something.

When I finished with the food, she came really close, put a hoof on my chin and said "Ah..." Softly while opening her mouth. I opened mine. She probably wanted to check something. She swiftly took a wooden flat stick from her medic bags using her mouth and used it like a doctor would on a constipated patient, pressing my tongue down with it. I gagged a little at the fact that she was sticking something in my mouth that she was holding with her mouth. She gave little taps with the stick at my teeth afterwards, and frowned a little while checking my mouth. Was something wrong?

After all of that, she motioned for me to lie down again, and noticed that the couch was relatively small for me, then she made me stand up and took me to the first floor. I limped the way there while using the equine's head for support, and then the rail on the stairs. My whole body ached and it was a little difficult to get up there, but I managed.

The roof was barely enough for me to fit inside without having to crouch. The second floor had a little bathroom and a bedroom. The equine took me to the bathroom.

I was impressed how the whole bathroom just looked like a normal one but slightly smaller and shorter, and it was a little more rustic, with the sink and the bath tub made out of wooden planks, looking like half barrels, and the bath tub was slightly longer and lower. I was expecting it to be more medieval looking, but it all looked just like a modern one, except for the slightly wooden look, and the taps were something adapted to mouth handling, there were two little faucets in the tub, with a mouth friendly lever each one, a red one and a blue one.

There was a steampunk looking artifact in a corner. After motioning me to sit down, the little horse opened the artifact, put inside some coal, poured a little liquid from a flask with the symbol of a flame printed on it. She pushed something and a fire started inside the device. Once she was happy with it, she closed the little brass door.

Moving to the tub, the equine smiled at me and sat down for a few minutes. The warmth emanating from the little artifact was really welcome. Later, she turned on the little red tap and a stream of hot water started to flow into the bath tub.

"Oh, then that was a water heater... That's so cool!" I said marveled at the little invention. It was just a little water boiler with a few pipes attached to it and a built-in spark mechanism to turn it on. A surprisingly high-tech device for a horse... And she knew perfectly how to handle it. The small amount of coal, with the help of the flammable liquid, turned to ashes in a relatively small amount of time, it was enough to fill the tub with warm water.

The equine took some of the water apart in a wooden bucket and picked some washing utensils from the cabinets. Then, with everything ready, she started to pull at my shorts with her mouth.

"Wait, what? What are you doing?" I asked, pulling up my shorts again.

Her little horse sounds were muffled through her teeth holding the cloth.

"No, please, stop! I can do this by myself." I pushed her away from me, but she didn't get it and stood there, in front of me.

"Err... alone? Privacy?" I tried to explain, but she stood there, tilting her head with a confused expression on her face.

"Out." I pointed to the door. She looked back to it, but didn't move. I sighed.

Taking her by surprise, I pushed her, her hooves slipping on the wooden tiled floor. She squeaked and scrambled her hooves, but when she regained traction on the slippery floor, she had already gone all the way through the door. Taking the chance, I closed and locked it quickly. Immediately, I could hear her distressed voice and strong knocks on the door.

"It's okay, I can take care of myself." I said, limping my way to the tub. Her desperate whinnies and neighs could be heard, somehow filling me with guilt.

"Calm down, girl. I'm just here, I'm not going anywhere, just let me be while I clean myself." I tried to calm her down, but he continued to knock at the door, her neighs now were only a little worried.

"I know how to take a shower, miss... Not opening the door." I Concluded. Her neighs turned imperative and serious, but cracking a little bit here and there, showing her distress.

I continued doing my business. The water was a little cooler than I would've liked, and the toilet a little bit too short... But man... a functional TOILET... Thank the heavens, a toilet... Meanwhile, soft knocks and horse words now and then. I answered with simple answers to let her know I was still there. That girl is a little over protective. But the soup and medicine, whatever it was, did wonders. It cleared my mind and body just enough to do that.

I took a relaxing bath for a few minutes. Using a piece of cloth and a bottle with the silhouette of a little horse with bubbles around I cleaned myself and my clothes. I needed to clean the clothes too, they were my only set, after all. I also had to remove the bandages and the wound didn't look very healthy, though it was clean.

The shoes were synthetic therefore, they could be washed, but now they were damp and I would have to let them dry. After I dried myself with some towels that were around, I tried to dry the clothes with the towels too, being that a half success. The clothes were still a little humid, but I could use them.

Dressed again with my slightly wet clothes except for the shoes, I opened the door. The little horse was there, a worried expression on her cute face. The moment she saw me, she jumped and hugged me by the waist, then she dropped to all fours and frowned at me, neighing in a serious tone and stomping lightly her right front hoof on the wooden floor. The cooler air from the outside of the bathroom took me a little by surprise and I started to shiver immediately.

"Sorry, girl, but I need a little privacy now and then, don't scowl at me like that, because I'm not letting you bath me, I can do it myself." I argued back, even though that frown and her antics were making me feel really guilty.

She took me to the bedroom. Although I was still feeling a little sick and tired, the bath added to the medicine and dinner had done wonders to me. I was a little better, so I could look around and see my surroundings.

There were wooden beams over my head, with some bird houses and nests. Also, there were some climbing plants coming inside. The nests and bird houses were empty, but it was a peculiar detail. The ceiling was inclined with the shape of the roof. Both the walls and the ceiling were painted in a faint yellow or dirty white, with the wood structure being unpainted.

I could also see two irregular windows, one of them round and the other one square with a triangle shape on top. A hearth with some wood (I thought there was another one downstairs) ready to be used, and the central piece was a bed painted in blue, with little heart shapes on top of each leg and a pink and orange plaid blanket with butterflies painted on each square. There was also a blue footlocker on top of a reddish round carpet. All the irregular shapes and wooden structures gave it an organic and cozy feeling.

The equine had three butterflies painted on her flanks... the blanket pattern matched them, that was another peculiar detail. If I gave her a nickname, I could probably use something about butterflies. Butterpink? Nah... Butteryellow? Nope, that sounded terrible. Yellowpink? Hmmm... not quite the short catchy word I was looking for. Yellowfly? Yellowing? Nah...

I sat on the bed and she started to take care of my ankle again, putting fresh disinfectant, ointments and bandages. The skill level she had with her mouth and hooves was incredible. She also used her wings now and then.

I was still shivering, and she was looking at me with a worried expression. Finally, she made me lie down on the bed and used the blankets to cover me. They weren't enough... they were really light blankets for how cold it was. Probably, the little equine didn't need it because of her coat, but I didn’t have any fur and my clothes were relatively light and now damp too. This was far better than sleeping outside without any kind of cover, so I could cope with that, but I was still shivering.

After a few moments, a little orange warm light started to illuminate the room. Turning around I saw the equine starting the fire. It was welcomed, and I slowly drifted off to sleep, forgetting about checking my phone, but I was almost sure that there would be still no signal.

Author's Note

I’ve always thought about this story as ‘I’m going to make a human in Equestria in a realistic way! Not at all like any other out there with the crazy ideas’, and this story was sparked into existence as a kind of a ‘fix fic’ of many of those scrambled concepts, but then I realized that probably a lot of people did that, and just the headcanon is different from one person to another.

Also, there is the point that we’re talking about a human going to an imaginary land of cartoon talking magical mini horses, so I suppose realism went flying out of the window the moment I thought about writing this.

So, what to expect from this? I’m going to stick to the show as much as comfortable, but I’m going to ignore some ‘cartoon physics’ when possible or unnecessary, and will have to add explanations to some unexplained stuff. And then I will add some headcanon on top eventually, this is my take on it, after all.

A lot of references too, because I like to make those.

5- At least I got fish

The light of the sun woke me up. Wow, dude… the hell did I just eat yesterday, what a wild ride of a dream, man… Yeah, I just need to get up, pack everything, go back to my trusty car and… Uh… my leg still hurts.

I was in a slightly shorter than usual bed, but I was cozy and warm. Looking around I could see the wooden beams, the light-yellow walls and the stone hearth with the remains of an extinguished fire... Ok. Sleeping inside a dream is illegal in my book, I thought, that would be a dream-ception...

It was still cold outside, it made me want to stay in the warm blankets and it was really cozy here. The blankets were warm and the pillows and, and... Did that fuzzy warm pillow just move? Turning around I found a pair of big blue sleepy half opened eyes a few inches away from my face. She greeted me good morning in her language. Or at least that's what I thought she said.

The source of that additional warmth was actually her. She had draped a wing across my back, serving as some kind of feather blanket. Oh dear... like a bird mom... I was actually too big for her little wing to be able to cover me properly, but it provided that little more warmth that I needed. I needed to find warmer clothes or something, or this was going to become awkward very quickly...

She got up and went downstairs. I tried to get up too, but I wasn't feeling like it. My head still hurt and I had a little nausea, not to mention the cold. Even though the bed covers weren't enough protection, they helped a lot and I didn't start to shiver again. Ok, bed is it then.

Tweets and chirps could be heard outside, and some birds came and landed on the window sill. They looked at me with curiosity and then flew away. I could also hear the clip-clop of the little equine’s hooves downstairs, and her soft horsy words, mixed with a few more sounds. Were those animal sounds? My nose wasn't as stuffy as before, and I realized that there was a faint smell, it smelled a little like a pet shop.

Looking around, there were birdhouses and nests on the beams, and probably those sounds were other animals. It made sense that this place would smell like that. Was she the crazy cat lady, tiny horse edition?

After an hour or so, Yellowings appeared again carrying a tray on her back. Hmmm... Yellowings, it was better than nothing. She put the tray on the bedside table. There was a plate of pancakes.

Pancakes...

Pancakes?

Yep, pancakes...

There were also other things. A little bowl of what looked like the same soup from yesterday, two sandwiches, a glass of milk, a glass of water and a glass of what looked like orange juice and an apple. That was way too much for just breakfast!

I sat on the bed, Yellowings was just looking at me and then she motioned to the tray and invited me to start eating. Out of curiosity I took one of the sandwiches and opened it... flowers. A flower sandwich... what the... Oh, yeah, she is a horse, she probably can eat that. The other sandwich had a slice of cheese. Ok, that's an edible one.

Orange juice or milk? I was in the mood for milk, just not plain milk, I wanted coffee with milk, chocolate or tea with milk... Orange juice then was the better option.

Pancakes, of course. Without silverware, I just had my hands to help me. Ok, it was better than nothing. I ate those and the apple in the end, and the little bowl of soup, that stuff was good. Then, Yellowings offered me a little white square pill that I recognized as the medicine she had given to me the day before.

Yellowings ate the things that I didn't want, starting with the flower sandwich, then some pancakes that I left for her and the milk. She was finishing when the doorbell rang. She perked her ears and went downstairs.

I could hear the door opening and another horsy sing song voice. This one was a little bit louder than Yellowings and had quite an exaggeratedly dramatic intonation in that musical way. They talked for a few minutes until they came upstairs. Yellowings was followed by the other equine.

The new horse was white with deep blue curled hair that bounced up and down with each step she took. I could also say that it was a she because she was similar in complexion to Yellowings and... She had make-up on her face, that was a big giveaway, I hope, the last thing I wanted is someone getting offended because of me assuming their gender. Eye shadow and I would say that those eyelashes weren't completely natural. And she had a horn. A unicorn?

The unicorn scrunched her face for a moment and then asked something to Yellowings, she answered and then the unicorn came closer. She looked at me with curiosity, especially my clothes. She poked my tee and my shorts, all the time murmuring horse words.

“Neigh whinny whinny snort.” Yellowings told me.

“Yeah, I know I said I would need clothes, but what does this have to do with… her?” I pointed at the unicorn.

“Neigh snort.” She responded.

“How on earth is she going to give me clothes?”

“Snort rumble whinny.” She clarified.

“Ah, of course, that makes sense…” For this place, after all. A unicorn fashionista, why not. Add it to the pile of what the fucks I already have.

Wait, what? How could I maintain a conversation with her? If I stopped and thought about her sounds, I couldn’t understand anything!

Yellowings left the bedroom for a moment, returning with my shoes in her mouth. The unicorn just stared in awe at them. They were just made out of synthetic material, they were resistant and had some grids that would maintain the feet cool in the heat of the summer, different shades of brown with little orange details, but nothing too flashy.

The unicorn's horn began to glow with a pale blue aura, and one of the shoes did too, and it started to float in the air. I stared in awe at it. The unicorn was manipulating one of my shoes using mystical powers.

Okay.

Roll with it.

The unicorn could make things levitate. But after all the crazy stuff I had already seen, I didn't panic or anything. It was just another weird thing to add to the pile.

Yellowings talked with the unicorn for a few minutes while she analyzed my clothes. The unicorn answered in the same language. Of course, I couldn’t understand anything no matter how much attention I paid to the conversation.

But wait… How did I even talk to the yellow one? Did I understand her? Of course not… but… yes at the same time? How did that work?

The more I analyzed how Yellowings told me the unicorn was a fashionista the less sense it made. There were no words, no meaning, only sing-song horsey noises!

Finally, the unicorn asked something, and Yellowings shook her head looking at the floor, and answered something pointing at me. The unicorn answered in a comforting tone. Then they exchanged a few more questions and answers and Yellowings escorted the unicorn outside, then waved her goodbye and closed the door.

Looking downstairs I could spot a few, almost empty, food bowls on the floor, and a few little animals here and there, some of them already leaving, others still eating the remaining food. Yep, it smelled definitely like a pet shop trough my stuffy nose.

It was still cold, but curiosity took the best part of me and I started to walk downstairs. Immediately, Yellowings looked back at me, flew to my position and pushed me upstairs again.

Wait...

She just... FLEW!

But those wings were TINY!

It shouldn't be possible for her to... Physics didn't work that way... Ok, probably that was just a big leap and not a normal flight. She just used her wings to help her. Just like a chicken would jump and flap the wings... like the snaken...

I shook my head. I had already seen that unicorn using some wingardium leviosa trick, and I just accepted it. But for some reason, Yellowings just flying with those vestigial wings was an uncanny idea. She should have been full of helium, or she should have had to flap those wings extremely fast like a fly or a hummingbird... Ok, no more thinking.

It was funny how I could really cope with very weird stuff, but something that was just slightly off just got to my nerves, like if this place was mocking my understanding of how physics worked.

All the way back to the bed, Yellowings said soothing things, maybe she had perceived my distress, but I bet she didn't have any idea about from where it really came from, her little innocent looking, adorable wings of doom.

I was still a little bit sleepy, and that medicine probably added to that feeling. Even though the sun was up and the room was really illuminated, I drifted back to sleep. The sun somehow warmed me up a little bit, so the temperature became more comfortable.

***

Get up, go to the bathroom, eat, back to bed. I suppose that that was going to be my routine while I was sick. And probably some visits from other little equines, if the unicorn visit was something to go by.

This time, on the tray, there was a single pancake, an apple and an orange juice glass. Actually, that was what I ate minus the bowl of soup. Neither sandwiches nor milk were present this time.

Interesting...

Was she trying to guess my diet just throwing random stuff and noting what things did I actually ate?

There were of course a few more items. A piece of toast with some jam on it, oranges, salad and a fish.

Yes, a fish... a little slimy raw fish.

And the square white pill with a glass of water.

I ate the piece of toast. I think it was strawberry jam. Not the best for lunch, but it was good.

I tasted the salad, but found out that some of the stuff it was made of was a little off. Like hay. I ate a little portion of the salad, carefully taking out of it the bits of hay and other plants and flowers that didn't look really edible for me. Yellowings paid a lot of attention to that act. I bet she noticed the stuff I wasn't able to eat. It was more like a way to inform her than really eating something out of hunger.

I drank the orange juice again. Then I ate the apple. Really not the best lunch, but it was something. It was a shame the fish was raw.

Yellowings ate the rest of the salad, the orange (biting it whole, peel and all) and the pancake, looking deep in thought as she did so.

Staring at the fish and back to me, she looked kind of relieved that I didn't choose it for some reason. But I wouldn't let it go to waste and specially not in this place where I would have problems finding meat, taking into account that except for the evil creatures, those equines looked like herbivores.

Just after we finished our lunch but just before Yellowings could take away the tray, I carefully took the fish and got up from bed. The yellow equine motioned me to go back, but didn't push me really hard. She was more interested in why I had picked up the fish.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen. It had a similar decoration than the rest of her home. Green walls with the wooden color trim from the wooden support structure. Interesting enough, there was the same ceiling decoration, with bird houses and bird nests perched on the beams, that wasn't very hygienic for a kitchen. And some sparse vines from the climbing plants that covered the roof were crawling inside.

There was a pale red carpet on the wooden tiled floor, very similar to the one in her bedroom, and the curtains covering the two standard square windows were a reddish pink with something like a floral pattern but with hearts instead of actual leaves or flowers.

The furniture was a cream-colored set of a kitchen cabinet, a stove and a plain wooden table. The stove had a handmade (hoofmade?) iron chimney, its irregular design suggesting that the stove was originally another piece of furniture repurposed. Not very safe or fireproof I would say, especially with almost everything here made out of wood.

Inside the stove was an almost extinguished fire, it was just ashes and some embers, signs of recent cooking. Thinking about it, the stove looked like some kind of barbeque, with a grill on each side, with two metal plates that could be used to cover them, so the smoke wouldn't come out when it wasn't being used to cook, or when the heat conducted through the metal plate was enough.

Yellowings got a little nervous about me getting close to the stove, and watched me closely, saying worried horse words and putting her front hooves on me now and then but not really pushing me.

"Shhh... don't worry, I know what I'm doing." I answered her while taking one of those little flammable liquid bottles. It was similar to the one that she had in her bathroom to light up the water heater.

Neighing slightly louder than usual, she pushed me backwards and with a little jump with the help of her wings, she took from me the little bottle with her hooves and stepped back from.

"Hey, I know how it works! I just want to cook this fish." I scowled at her.

Flapping her wings a little for balance, she stood on her hind legs while shaking her head. She pointed at herself with one of her forelegs while holding the little bottle with the other one.

"But I want to eat that fish, and I need to cook it first." I told her, holding it with one hand and pointing to the stove with the other.

She pointed at herself, dropped to all fours (except for the hoof that was holding the flammable liquid bottle) and came closer limping on three hooves. She nudged me a little out of the way.

A few drops of the flammable liquid made the fire come to life again. She looked back at me with a questioning look, so I put carefully the fish on the grill. That got me a frown from Yellowings, who of course felt uneasy with me near the fire.

I spotted the dishes and silverware and tried to get them, but the little horse denied me again, so I got upstairs instead. The little horse stayed behind, guarding the fire, but looking at me with a puzzled look.

"I'll be right back..."

I came back with the tray she had used a little earlier to bring me breakfast. The dishes were a little dirty, but the one that had the pancake on it was almost perfectly clean. I tried to get closer to the stove, but Yellowings cut the way.

"Okay, okay... You do it, but don't burn it." I told her. She nodded while saying something in those soft neighs.

I was surprised that not only she was able to cook the fish, but she seasoned it right and added some salad on the side, creating a really omnivore nice dish. By the way, the salad had only things I could eat.

Clever girl.

I felt a little bit spoiled by her antics. While she was adding the final touches to her culinary creation, I checked my phone again in the hopes that I could catch anything, but still no signal.

Author's Note

Time to get a little bit spoiled by Flutters! It won't be like that the whole way, I promise. I just thought that Fluttershy would go full mommy mode if she found an unknown wounded creature.

There will be bad and hard times ahead too, not everything will be fluff and candy. He is isolated from humanity, that will eventually come back to him, as it would do to anyone in his situation. I'll just try to avoid... overcooked deep fried artificial traumas for the sake of drama.

6- At least the purple one didn't take away my stuff...

Three methodic, average force, calculated knocks on the door woke me up.

Another visit.

Looking through the windows I could see that it was around six in the afternoon. I had drifted off back to sleep after I had eaten lunch and the little kitchen exploration. This time, Yellowings was nowhere to be seen, but I heard some hoof scrambling on the wooden tiles downstairs.

The door opened and Yellowings soft voice was cut by another one. The other voice was louder, quite direct and with authority, but somehow a little bit sweet too. They exchanged a little conversation. I could barely hear Yellowings over this new one.

I got up and sat on the bed, ready for the new visitor, and after a moment, I could hear they were coming upstairs.

To my surprise, instead of Yellowings leading the way, the first equine that came into view was the new one.

Wow... so purple.

The new equine was very purple. I was already used to those little horses having quite the strangest sets of colors, but I wasn't expecting something so... bright and unnatural.

Once I recovered from the initial impression, I started to notice the different details. She was slightly bigger (That made me doubt for a little whether it was a he or a she, but I thought it was a she in the end). The next thing was that she had wings and a horn, both of them a little bigger and stylized if compared with the wings of my caretaker and the horn of the other alien equine who came to visit.

She had bags strapped to her sides, like the ones that Yellowings had when I first met her, but these ones were bigger and... purple with the same pattern embroidered into it as the one on her flanks. I could spy a few books sticking out of the bags, there were too many of them to fit comfortably inside.

The purple equine's expression turned in a rapid succession from neutral, to a little shock when she found me, her ears went flat against her head and she backpedaled a step, then she lowered her head, advancing a few steps with a quizzical expression, then she bit her lip and frowned, looking at the floor. Then she looked up back at me, putting a hoof on her muzzle, frowning deep in thought.

Yellowings came into sight and asked something in a worried tone. The purple equine just hummed her answer in a neutral tone, obviously not paying attention to her.

The purple one’s horn lit up and for a moment I felt unnerved. Then, four books came out of her bags all by their own, glowing in the same color as her horn and ordered themselves in front of her, pages already going wild while the equine looked from one book to another. That scared me a little bit, all that light and flight spectacle being too close for me to feel comfortable.

The purple equine did that for a few minutes, all that time mumbling gibberish to herself, pointing randomly here and there in her books and taking notes with a flying quill and paper. Then, she repacked magically her books, but the quill and paper stayed flying around scritch-scratching notes. She looked so studious with all those materials, and I could recognize she had practice in intellectual matters, a lot of it.

Purplesmart... that's it, clear as water... I was nicknaming this one Purplesmart.

Purplesmart asked something to Yellowings, and she pointed at my backpack. It was near the bed. It started to glow, and before I could fetch it, it flew away from me. That made me stumble a little forward, and Yellowings got a little startled too at my sudden movement, a foreleg rose like she was ready to help me, but when I sat back down on the bed again, she relaxed.

I wasn't going to touch that thing while it was glowing, so I let Purplesmart look at it, under the uneasy look of Yellowings and my slightly distressed stare.

She analyzed it, carefully turning it around with a clinical eye, taking notes and looking at every little detail. Then she leaned forward and sniffed it, then scrunched her muzzle and with her ears flat, she stared again to the floor, frowning.

Yeah, that’s how cheap plastic materials from the local sports gear store smell like. Or at least, the ‘high performance synthetic resistant fabric’ which is made out of slightly better cheap plastic fibers. It’s actually not that bad, but I guess little horse noses are a lot more sensitive than human ones.

Yellowings asked something again, slightly worried, Purplesmart answered with a flat tone, then opened the bag and my stuff started to fly around the purple equine. She analyzed again everything piece by piece, the quill and paper taking notes all on their own. My general assortment of knick-knacks came into view and restocked inside once inspected.

Finally, the power bank and the little solar panel came out. Those cached her attention, of course, but the best piece, my cell phone was secured in one of my pockets. She gazed at those pieces in wonder, turning them around in the air for a few minutes. She looked like she couldn't figure them out.

After a few more minutes of pacing in circles, talking with Yellowings and taking notes, Purplesmart packed everything again inside my bag, then asked something to the yellow equine and Yellowings answered something pointing at the bag and myself.

"What do you want?" I asked.

Purplesmart scribbled something again, and Yellowings said something to me, pointing at the bag and the other equine.

"No, those things are mine, I need them. Give them back." I said in a serious tone, trying to hide my fear.

Yellowings said something to Purplesmart and she put the bag back on the floor, looking slightly sad. I took the chance to grab my bag and hold it between my arms and chest. The two little horses exchanged more noises while they were going downstairs. Finally, I heard the door opening and closing.

***

Twilight's trot echoed through the corridors of her castle.

"Spiiiike!? Where are you!?" She called for her assistant.

After a few seconds she entered her personal library, dropping her bag on one of the tables and putting her freshly taken notes on her desk, already making a checklist of the books she needed to pick in order to search for information.

"Spiiiike!?" She called again, already focused on her research task, going through her notes and putting the books she had carried on her desk in a pile.

"Gee... What's it, Twilight?" The little dragon came into sight, rubbing one of his eyes with his claws, looking a little sleepy.

"I need 'Advanced Animal Biology', 'Habitats and Wildlife' and the 'Equestrian Bestiary, complete edition'." She asked.

"Oh, I see. What tomes from the Bestiary?" Spike started to climb the ladder to get to where those books were.

"All of them, Spike." She stated.

"Oh... I don't know WHY do I even ask..." Spike mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes.

"And the 'Study of the Forest Primates' that one should come in handy..." Twilight continued, oblivious to her assistant.

"So... what's the fuss? It's the creature Rarity talked about? Is it the one that Fluttershy is taking care of?" Spike asked while picking the books.

"Yes, indeed it is. I couldn't figure out what it was." Twilight answered.

"Wow... that's..." Spike yawned, then recovered slightly and pointed at Twilight. "Something... Yeah..." Obviously, he was too tired to be excited about the incoming old fashioned bookworm research.

"Hmmm... I'll need 'Foreign Culture' too... and 'Technology through Equestria', there were a lot of items I couldn't figure out... At least I want to see if they correspond with some of the Minotaur, Dragon, Diamond Dog or Griffon manufactures." Twilight continued increasing her checklist.

"So... What do you think it is?" Spike asked, a little bit of genuine curiosity in his sleepy eyes.

"I don't know for sure, Spike. He looked a lot like a minotaur but it was primate like and without horns. It has barely any fur, but has mane at least, and wears clothes. Fluttershy told me that even though it is omnivorous, it prefers cooked food when possible. All of this makes me think that it is probably more intelligent than we initially thought." Twilight explained.

"That's more or less what Rarity told us..." Spike answered.

"Yes... I haven't seen anything like it. It could be from a really far away country, but it can't talk." Twilight frowned.

"Then it's probably somepony's really exotic pet." Spike concluded.

"That's another valid hypothesis... but then, there were those tools and equipment that it had in its bag." Twilight added.

"It was being used to carry them until it got lost?" Spike proposed.

"Probably... But what makes me uneasy about that theory is that those tools were extremely well build and optimized for it to use. The little retracting knife with all those built-in tools... It had a handle the perfect size for its hands and... It even had a shape for its fingers to fit perfectly on it! Those things were designed for it to use!" Twilight answered.

"So... If you had to tell Princess Celestia what it is, what would you say?" Spike asked.

"Hmmm... It's a creature that came from the Everfree Forest, though it seems unlikely to be its natural environment. It's probably highly intelligent and it's well equipped. It looks slightly primate, but without fur. It needs clothes, so it may come from a hot biome. It can't talk, so it seems unlikely to be a member of another country or civilization that we know of, even Yaks and Diamond Dogs know basic Harmonian and it obviously doesn’t, but it looks like it's trained. The purpose of that training it's unknown..." Twilight put her thoughts in order.

“Uh... that doesn't feel really soothing... and those tools you described… Should we send a letter to the princess?” Asked Spike, a little scared.

"Ummm... no. Not really. Fluttershy says it's safe, and she is usually right when it comes to critters. If it's not a menace, I don't think we should bother her. Again, it can be just a really rare creature, or a very exotic pet with all that gear specifically crafted for it... I don't think this predicament is worth Celestia's time." Twilight answered.

"Uh... then...?" Asked Spike between yawns.

"It's research time! Probably this case is not worth Celestia's time, but I have PLENTY of time since we moved into this castle... Doing erm... princess stuff and preparing friendship lessons for Starlight Glimmer, waiting and waiting for that map to call somepony. It looks like it's something worth OUR time. Oh Spike... It has been so long since we had to research something. It's going to be like the old times, it's going to..." Twilight was interrupted by a little snore.

Spike was snoring, lying on the floor face down with a few books around him. Twilight smiled sheepishly at him and picked up the baby dragon with her magic and put him in his basket.

"Oh, sorry Spike, I was so caught in my studies that I forgot the time..." She looked through the windows. The Sun had already set, leaving only some reddish light traces through the sky. As always, it was Spike's time to go to bed.

"...Yes... like the good old times."

Author's Note

Another update from the buffer after some editing. I remember having so much fun with those, and some of these start to have some season and episode as a setting, or at least, the time in between episodes, or set in the background of an episode while crazy and epic stuff happens in the background.

But the focus of this story is the fluff, of course, no grand adventures are expected, just small references to kind of set this story in a particular moment in time. When I wrote it I wanted to give the impression that the human is not the center of the universe, and stuff happens and the world still moves around on its own.

7- At least it wasn't a dress for a gala

"Pleaaaaase... Twilight! We have been at it for like two hours already, and you only needed my help once." Spike pleaded.

"But Spike, this... This was going to be OUR research, like the good old times. Your help it's always welcomed and necessary for improving my efficiency!" Twilight responded.

"Oh, darling, I don't want to be a nuisance. Don't worry if you're busy, I can do it myself. Spike's help was only needed to carry some extra accessories." Rarity added.

"Why doesn't Fluttershy bring the creature to the boutique?" Twilight asked.

"I told her to do that, but she said that the creature is not prepared to go out without protection. It seems to be from a really hot place, so autumn in Ponyville feels like a little too cold. Aaaand the poor thing is a little sick, that's part of why Fluttershy won't let it go outside just yet. She said it needs the clothes to go out. And that it needed being taken care of, and couldn't come to our usual hang out at the spa." Rarity explained.

"Pleeeeaaaaaseeee..." Spike pleaded in despair. "And... and... I will check the creature! Yes, that's part of the research! Maybe I can notice something you didn't... errr... not saying that you wouldn't notice something but... errrrrr... A second opinion? Four eyes see more than two?"

"Okay, okay! You can go!" Twilight groaned in frustration after the whole morning researching and not finding what she wanted. Not that she couldn't do the research without Spike, but this was just one more little setback after the frustrating investigation. If she didn't let Spike go with Rarity, he was going to be sore and grumpy all day, and that was going to be even worse.

Spike did a slightly contained celebratory gesture before running out of the library of the castle, opening and holding the door like a little gentleman for Rarity. They both went out of the castle and headed to the Carousel Boutique, a pile of baggage and cases way too big for the little dragon waiting for him to carry.

***

I woke up. It was still dark outside. The air was cold, but I was suspiciously warm and comfortable, way too nice for it to be...

Yes, she did it again.

I focused my eyes and looked around to regain my bearings. I was in Yellowings' bed, and she was curled at my side, a wing draped across my back, and I had involuntarily put an arm across her back, hugging her like a giant stuffed animal.

A pink and pastel yellow, really girly stuffed animal.

I shifted slightly, and she frowned at the movement and one of her ears twitched. I stopped. I didn't want to wake her up, so I relaxed again in the same position.

I started thinking about how everybody were handling that I was missing. I supposed that my boss was going to be mad at first, my family worried, then someone would call the police and they would start looking for me... They would probably find my car and then they would start searching the place, maybe someone would eventually come here and discover this weird place with little horse people and weird animals. Probably they could help me get back home... Or maybe someone could end up lost here in this place like I was...

The best plan was to wait for help, and follow those little horses, Yellowings was taking care of me just right, I thought I would survive here without a problem, but I needed winter clothes if I wanted to go somewhere. Maybe these equines could guide me back to civilization, but if they had built a town and remained unnoticed by humans... Were they scared about humans? I don't think so... Yellowings acted with ignorance and curiosity, trying to figure me out... not fear, like if she hadn't seen a human before. If that's the case... they wouldn't be able to guide me back home.

Yellowings opened one sleepy eye and looked at me.

"Oh, did I wake you up?" I asked in a low voice.

She whispered something and looked to the window, it was still dark outside, then she snuggled again, burrowing her muzzle under the covers and her extended wing, her ears going flat against her skull while she wriggled her head into position, ending with her forehead pressed against my chest. When she relaxed, her ears moved to the normal position again, like a cat.

One of my hands started to pet her hair without me noticing, such a sneaky hand! It was an automatic action. She flinched a little at the first contact, but when my hand started running (All by its own) through her hair, she relaxed gradually at the touch.

"Still too early in the morning, isn't it?" I whispered. She mumbled something, sounding muffled and undefined through the covers.

The hair looked a lot like human hair on her head, except that it was pink in color, but in the dark it was difficult to find the difference. It also ran down her neck, resembling a horse mane.

The moment my hand touched one of her ears, she ducked both of them flat again, but after a few seconds, she relaxed, then shivered and ruffled slightly her wings, mumbling content noises.

It then came to mind that I didn't know if what I was doing was right, because even though they looked like furry animals, they were obviously more intelligent, probably sapient like a human. Maybe it wasn't appropriate to pet one of them like that. But they didn't have hands to pet each other, and Yellowings didn't do anything against it, plus she seemed to enjoy it.

Slightly troubled by that line of thought, I stopped petting her. The reaction was immediate. She leaned into my hand, having her head tucked down the covers and pressed against me, nuzzling my shirt in the process and pressing her wing a little more against my back.

"Okay, okay... Want more?" I whispered. I could feel her nodding.

I wished I could take one of these as a pet when I got back home, but that felt kind of wrong, and probably unfair to them.

Anyways, I would rather enjoy the moment and leave the moral thinking for later, so, I continued petting her until she fell asleep, and then I drifted asleep too.

***

Breakfast.

This time, the assortment that was on the tray was a fish, some pancakes, milk, orange juice and different pieces of fruit. It was a weird breakfast, but an edible one. As usual, we both ate together.

Putting again the thermometer on me, she smiled at the results and didn't gave me any more medicine. I felt a lot better too, so I got out of the bed and decided that I should take a shower. Or a bath because her bathtub wasn't prepared for a shower for something as tall as me... or probably not a shower at all because there was only a low tap slightly above the wooden tub.

I went through the process of turning on the water heater while Yellowings was distracted feeding her other critters. That gave me enough time to do the same process as the last time without being noticed until I was finishing.

When she realized I was missing and found out I was taking a bath, she knocked on the door, slightly worried, but I told her to relax, that I was just fine. When I came out, she frowned and said something in a slight angry tone, but I repeated that I needed my space, at least for that.

With my only clothes slightly damp, Yellowings gave me a blanket to cover myself, it was slightly cold even indoors.

Having nothing to do, I went downstairs. The little animals were finishing their food and some of them were already leaving. I decided to sat on the couch and observe.

It was a green couch and a green armchair... The couch had a funny shape. It was like those French recliners (I had no real idea why I thought it was French, but it felt like that) but instead of being a fancy one, it was simple and relatively handmade... (hoofmade?)

The ceiling was sturdier than the ones in the kitchen and the bedroom because it needed to support the rooms upstairs and it was simple, with wooden beams but feeling slightly heavier, without the climbing plants and the bird houses hanging on... oh wait, she just managed to put two of them near the walls...

There was a big round blue carpet covering most of the wood floor, some shelves on the walls with a few books and some pet baskets on the floor of the irregular shaped room.

I had had to remove the bandages from my ankle for the bath, and Yellowings noticed it and went downstairs carrying her little red crossed bags. I let her work, knowing that she knew what she was doing. The wound didn't look so bad, and in a few minutes and some winces from the disinfectant stinging, I was ready again.

Two rapid knocks on the door followed by a sing song, exaggeratedly expressive voice I recognized. The white unicorn.

Yellowings went to the door and greeted her guests. As I had anticipated, it was the pristine unicorn, followed by... a pet lizard? Wow, the lizard was pulling an oversized cart full of stuff. It was panting and sweating, but seemed determined to accomplish the task. The unicorn waved at me with a smile that sent a chill down my spine. I didn't know what they were up to, but this had something to do with me, I knew it.

Fabric, measuring tape, needles, string, various objects and a flipping SEWING MACHINE. The poor lizard had pulled all of that all the way here, and he was now collapsed on the floor, recovering its breath. The room has been turned into a tailor shop that had all the stuff that had been carried by the little guy.

Out of curiosity, I watched carefully the whole process. The little lizard seemed to talk to the unicorn, and the unicorn gave him back orders in her sing song horse noises. The lizard replied in sing song weird noises that weren't anything near a horse noise, but both seemed to be understanding each other. How peculiar.

I felt a pull on my shorts, but I grabbed them in time. They were glowing in a blue aura, the same as the unicorn horn. I glared at her.

No.

Bad unicorn.

After a few seconds of fighting against a ghost force created by the white, squiggle tailed, horned little horse, she finally gave in. If you ask me, I would say that she gave up because she was starting to sweat and that could ruin her make-up or something.

Yellowings had been trying to calm us down the whole time, but that winged pony had the capacity of going unnoticed even when she was trying to say something. Yellowings and Miss Squiggle had a short conversation. The lizard only had eyes for the unicorn.

Miss Squiggle produced a few measuring tapes and she started to use all of them at the same time on me while taking notes on a folder with a pencil. I hesitantly let her do her job while grabbing my shorts with one hand just in case.

The following hour or so, Yellowings and Miss Squiggle talked over a clipboard while Miss Squiggle was drawing something. Yellowings was pointing out things and giving the unicorn her opinion about something.

Suddenly, they both looked at me, looked at each other and giggled. Not the cute and nice giggle, but the kind of girly giggle that makes you know they are plotting something EVIL. Yellowings went to the kitchen and started to cook something while the unicorn started unpacking a few fabric rolls, a box of ribbons, a small box of gems and other stuff.

Out of curiosity, I peeked at the unicorn's clipboard and saw it. It was a crude drawing of a human figure with a lot of annotations in a weird script, probably all the measures she had taken. But the worst part was the dress. The human figure was wearing some kind of classy suit, but it had ribbons and gemstones giving it a feeling of something cutesy. That dress was something a normal person wouldn't wear.

I looked back at the unicorn, who saw me looking at her drawing, and she smiled. I looked back and forth between the drawing and the assortment of fabrics and complements she was preparing and something clicked together.

The ribbons were similar to those in the drawing. The fabric, though it was drawn by pencil, looked similar in texture and shade than the one the unicorn was preparing. The assortment of gems in the bowtie looked similar to those that the unicorn was selecting from her little gem box and putting on a little piece of fabric... They were planning on making that damned dress and making ME wear it.

Yellowings came out of the kitchen with a few bowls of different snacks.

"Sorry, but I'm not going to wear THIS." I told her, holding the clipboard and pointing at the offending dress.

Yellowings cocked her head and asked me something, confused.

"I need utilitarian clothes to wear every day, not some sort of wedding crazy fantasy suit." I pointed out.

Realization dawned on her face and she went to talk with the unicorn. After some time of horse noises between the two equines, a very sad looking Miss Squiggle put the drawing away and took a fresh sheet of paper.

This time, I fetched another piece of paper, made a crude drawing of a human figure and made it wear a simple, extra plain sweater and a pair of loose trousers made out of a thick looking fabric in the hopes that Miss Squiggle would understand that I wanted them to actually protect me from the cold weather, and a coat made out from that same fabric that even I didn't know what was it, but wanted to make clear that they should be made out of something thick.

I showed them to the unicorn, interrupting her in her job. She was making another draw. It was simpler, but still looked like a suit for a really formal occasion. She looked at me unimpressed.

"I would like to order at least two of this and this" I pointed at the sweater and the trousers. "And one of this." I pointed at the coat then.

Miss Squiggle looked at me confused and said a word or two in those sing song horse noises.

"I need at least two sets, just in case one of them gets dirty. Also, I would like them made out of a thick, resistant fabric, easily washable if possible. I want to be able to have always one ready to use while I'm washing the other set." I tried to explain, but the unicorn scrunched her muzzle in confusion. She was wearing a pair of red glasses that clashed with everything. They were probably an accessory that she wore only when she was working.

"This one, two of them. This one, one of them. Errr... please." I tried to explain in the simplest possible way while gesturing in the hopes that she would get my body language when I showed her two and one fingers while pointing at the drawing. She bit her lower lip and looked for the yellow equine.

Yellowings came closer and asked something to the unicorn, a little concern on her face. Miss Squiggle told her something and the yellow equine turned to me with a questioning look. I told her the same things I had already told to the unicorn. She nodded and translated it to the white equine.

Needles, string, fabric and scissors flew around the white unicorn, and in half an hour she had already finished the whole commission. She looked at her creations with a plain and slightly scornful look. I had to risk my life a few times to stop her, in the middle of that tornado of tailoring utensils, from doing the clothes from a pink or pastel blue fabric. Of course, I needed Yellowings to translate, which is funny because she doesn’t even speak my own language.

I ended up with a set made out of a dark blue thick cotton fabric and another one in grey. The coat was black. But I couldn't dissuade the unicorn from adding some details like some gems here and there and other ornaments. She also added a hood to the coat trimmed with some pastel blue fluffy border and blue bunny ears, which amused Yellowings for some reason.

I tried them on. They fit comfortably loose and felt warm enough, the light blue trim fitting with some details of the dark blue sweater which had also some light blue ornaments.

Miss Squiggle looked deep in thought, contemplating her creation and my original clothes. Yellowings interrupted her reverie offering her a little bag of golden coins, but the unicorn looked dramatically horrified and rejected the payment. Yellowings thanked her, looking embarrassed.

After Miss Squiggletail rejecting to be paid for her services, Yellowings insisted in inviting her to eat lunch with us. The pet lizard had spent the whole time looking at the unicorn and eating all the treats that Yellowings had brought, and now it was looking sick at the mere sight of more food. We ate lunch together, the two equines talking merrily. I just ate, trying to ignore the fact that most of their conversation was probably, by the look of Yellowings' reactions, about me and the dresses.

I sneakily peeked at my phone, trying to distract myself from the awkward situation of a couple of girls talking about girl stuff like you weren’t even there, in the hopes that I could make it work somehow, but of course, still no signal.

Author's Note

Some snuggles and fluff to spice it up a little bit. I know this is the "Rarity makes clothes" cliché, but well, there had to be clothes for the human, so here we go, over with that. I am re-reading the whole thing before I can start to write new stuff, but I will publish something from the buffer from time to time.

8- At least I went outside

It felt wrong to be a burden, that’s why I insisted in sleeping on the couch downstairs now that I had new clothes to keep me warm. It just felt wrong to sleep in the same bed as Yellowings every night.

But some weird noise woke me up in the middle of the night. A rattle… the rattle of a rattle snake… rattling.

I turned around from the couch to find nothing but absolute darkness. The windows had been closed and even though my eyes were already adapted to it, there was just not enough light.

The rattle stopped. But then other noises started. Things were moving in the dark all around me and I felt like I was back in that horrible forest.

Again, the rattle and a hissing could be heard. I focused on guessing the general direction of the source of the noise and looked at the stairs that lead to the first floor. The two directions were different. Some little critters ran around concealed by the darkness, maybe running away from the snake, or snakes… or snaken…

Minutes passed by and my mind went deeper and deeper into mindless panic, trying to determinate the source of the noises, but they were too many sources, too many critters and potential dangers, and I couldn’t identify any of them.

Something started to crawl up to the couch and that was too much. I made a beeline to the stairs in a sudden sprint that sent me crashing into the railing, but I grabbed onto it and used it as a reference in the complete darkness to find my way up.

Yellowings was woken up by the sudden noise and was half out of bed, with a foreleg raised, ready to intervene and was startled by my unexpected presence. We looked into each other for a few seconds until my breathing came back to something relatively normal and Yellowings relaxed again. The enormous moon shone in the sky and could be seen from one of the windows, that’s why I could more or less see now here, under the moonlight.

The mare moved to the side and patted the empty space with a wing, a raised eyebrow and a half smirk that radiated an “I told you so”. I hated my life so much at that moment. I even considered going into the bathroom and using the tub as a bed, but my blankets were downstairs and I wasn’t going to go back there until morning. And I realized that it was a chilly night, and I would end up having a terrible backache if I tried to sleep like that, and maybe a cold too.

And that’s how I slept again with Yellowings.

***

It smelled like yellow.

I woke up again with yellow pony all over me. But it was still better than waking up surrounded by unknown and potentially dangerous critters.

As this first couple of days with the little horses passed, I got the nagging sensation that they were treating me like an animal, and that got a little bit under my skin. Well, I couldn’t talk to them, so I couldn’t fix any misunderstandings. It might be my imagination and it could be the way these equines do stuff, but still. I got the impression that I was being taken care of by the local veterinary or animal keeper rather than being taken to a hospital, assuming they got one of those, of course.

This got a little bit more obvious when Yellowings took care of an injured racoon, and she put it on the sofa and more or less did the same things she did for me, including bandaging its little leg and spoon feeding him a small bowl of soup. The racoon seemed to be much more intelligent than a regular racoon, because it responded to Yellowings’s indications and more or less behaved itself accordingly.

Huh… just like me, I guess. Well, but I can cook, take a bath and handle the house equipment on my own, I wear clothes and have tools, that had to count for something, didn’t it?

While Yellowings was busy with the racoon, I started to smell something cooking. I paid a little bit more attention and heard the sounds of someone doing something in the kitchen. With curiosity, I stood up and went to check. Maybe another horse friend of hers came and was making breakfast.

I opened the door and found a bear.

Okay, bearing in mind that bears are known for being really dangerous, I got a little bit startled, but this bear was standing on its rear legs and using his claws to hold a pan on the stove and used the other one to stir whatever it was with a wooden spoon. And it was also wearing a frilly pink apron. I could also see that its expression was a relaxed one and it was smiling goofily. It looked at me and didn’t look like he was going to do anything, it just kept stirring. I backed away slowly and closed the door.

“Uh… excuse me, Yellowings, but there is a bear in the kitchen.” I said, mildly alarmed but keeping my cool.

“Neigh snort… neigh neigh…” She explained the situation, then, giving the racoon a final check over, she stood up and led me back to the kitchen.

“Snort neigh whinny whinny.” She said to the bear, then pointed at me. “Neigh…”

The bear roared in the way that bears do, but he kept that goofy smile and waved a claw at me.

“Oh, nice to meet you, Harry.”

After Yellowings introduced ourselves properly, I found the bear’s presence surprisingly bearable. I shook my head, regained my bearings, went back to the couch and sat next to the racoon.

“Neigh whinny neigh… errr… neigh.” Yellowings explained.

“Huh… I don’t know how I feel about a bea… I mean… Harry preparing breakfast. Bearing in mind he is a bear…”

Harry came out of the kitchen with two bowls of scrambled eggs, one in each claw, and deposited them onto the table before us. Apart from being slightly uneven and kind of more brown than necessary in some places, they were palatable and expertly seasoned.

After that, Harry took off the frilly pink apron, put it on a rack and went back to all fours, becoming a normal looking bear, except for the goofy smile of his, then he went trough the door, pausing a little to look back and wave at me, then at Yellowings.

“Neigh!” Yellowings thanked the bear for his assistance.

Welp… that happened, I guess…

We went through breakfast and feeding the animals routine. But that day was going to be different. After taking care of the animals, instead of staying inside, Yellowings came out of the cottage and motioned me to follow her. With the new clothes, I followed her without a problem. It was a nice day with the appropriate gear, the sun was shining and I could feel a cool breeze refreshing my head.

I let Yellowings lead the way. I didn’t know where we were going anyways. After a few minutes we came into the… pony town, I guess.

The first pony we met was a little foal with his or her mother. As soon as the little foal saw me, he or she tried to take a closer look at me, but the mother grabbed the foal’s tail and pulled it back, then she dragged her son or daughter into a house, closing the door loudly. A few seconds later, the mare opened the door again and took the doormat inside and closed it again. Then she closed the windows too.

I looked at the yellow mare a little confused by that reaction. She just smiled sheepishly and motioned me to continue and ignore the incident.

We continued our walk through the town. It was obvious that the rest of the ponies were avoiding us, but in general no one reacted like that mother. Or at least that was until we passed near a flower shop with three mares taking care of the garden.

All the three mares had some kind of flower painted on their flanks, and they were similar in color. One of them, who had reddish hair and a rose on her butt spotted me and pointed a hoof in my general direction, gasping.

The three mares looked at me and gasped at the same time, even the rosy one gasped again like if they were synchronized. Then, they started so scream horrified pony words between them, with faces of pure terror. One of them started to run in circles and crashed into another. Then they looked at each other and fainted in a dramatic motion. The last mare standing, one with light pink coat and blonde mane, looked at her friends lying on the floor, froze, and fell to the side like a fainting goat.

“What’s happening?” I asked, genuinely worried.

Yellowings looked ashamed, not really sure what to do.

One of the mares whispered something loudly enough to be heard. The second one opened an eye, looked at me, closed it again and hushed the first one. The third mare’s rear leg twitched.

“Hey, that one fainted for real… We should help her or something.” I pointed at the twitchy pink mare.

Yellowings just smiled the most sheepish of smiles and pushed me away with her forelegs, using a few flaps of her wings for help.

***

Fluttershy pushed the creature out of the sight of the flower sisters. “Oh dear… it’s just like the Zecora’s incident all over again.” She muttered for herself. That mare with her filly acted exactly like that the first time they saw the zebra, but she wasn’t expecting such a powerful reaction from any other pony.

They walked for a few more minutes. Luckily, no other pony had a panic attack. They just avoided them in general, and sometimes, a foal would look curiously at the mysterious creature.

Today was Saturday, and the fillies and colts were playing around with their friends and families. Fluttershy felt a sudden chill when she thought what kind of thing would the cutie mark crusaders do if they discovered the creature she was taking care of. The streets were busy, so she felt the urge to hurry up to get away from the stares of the other ponies.

“Hey, Fluttershy!” The mare turned around, looking for who had just called her, only to find a little unkempt Twilight approaching.

“Oh, dear… Twilight? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked, covering her muzzle with a hoof in a gesture of worry.

“Well, yes…” Twilight sighed. “It’s been an intense night of studying…” Twilight spotted the weird creature, the source of her frustrations and squinted her eyes at it in a challenging way. “I will discover your secrets…”

The creature emitted it’s chattering sound in a worried manner and stepped back from Twilight.

“It’s okay, don’t worry, she is safe.” Fluttershy smiled calmly at the creature.

“… clothes… hmmm… then it is from a really warm environment…” A quill scratched furiously at a piece of parchment that came out of nowhere. Fluttershy thought for a moment that Twilight wasn’t so unlike Pinkie. But instead of cupcakes, Twilight had the ability to make books, parchments and quills appear out of nowhere.

They continued their walk together towards Sugar Cube Corner. Twilight didn’t stop her jotting and staring at the creature. The mysterious being just walked by Fluttershy’s side, making sure she was between Twilight and itself. From time to time, it would take glances back to Twilight to check if she was doing something suspicious.

“So, um…” Fluttershy started, wanting to break the awkward silence and relax the situation, but unsure about what to say. “…How was your day?”

Twilight groaned. “Frustrating… I… there… I can’t seem to find anything about this creature!” She pointed a hoof at the mysterious being. It flinched at the sudden attention. Fluttershy smiled and hushed at it in a calming manner while Twilight went on. “I might be getting a little bit rusty about my academic skills… then… how…” Twilight started to panic.

“Twilight… you need to rest; you are starting to say non… nonsense.” Fluttershy shied away a little at the last word. “Maybe it’s just that… there aren’t any books… about it?” What was an affirmative statement turned into a hesitant question at the end.

“But that’s impossible! That would mean that he is from a totally undiscovered…” Twilight eyes went wide. “…species…” She resumed her furious note taking.

“If that was the case… There should be some clues. Other relevant information, some similar species, fossils from the past about their primitive cousins… Rumors… “ Twilight gestured wildly around with her forelimbs, rearing up and ruffling her wings. The creature flinched, not sure what that meant. “But no… it’s like it had appeared out of thin air.”

“Magic?” Fluttershy quietly suggested.

“But there are no registers about a magical event such as the portal to the breezies world that would suggest that a creature like him could be from another plane of existence… It would be the first time that something like it comes to Equestria, from its plane of existence.”

“Um… are you bringing your pet owl to the picnic?” Fluttershy changed the course of the conversation, trying to distract Twilight from her studies. They had planned a picnic with their pets. It was Fall season, and soon it would be Winter. Tank was going to start his hibernation and Rainbow Dash wanted to say goodbye to it, so they decided to prepare a pet day picnic. Angel had been more difficult than normal, with Fluttershy’s attention on the mysterious creature, so he was grounded for the day. And it was an excellent chance to take the creature outside to meet with Fluttershy’s friends.

“Yes, of course. I left him behind while I’m buying something for the picnic…” Twilight lowered her head, a little ashamed. “I have spent all my time studying and forgot to prepare something.”

“Well… I had to take care of the new creature and its special needs, and I was a little bit late too, so I decided to do the same…” Fluttershy smiled sheepishly.

“Sugar Cube Corner it is, isn’t it?” Twilight smirked.

***

Purplesmart is creepy. She spent the whole trip looking at me and taking notes, only to be interrupted now and then by Yellowings. The yellow pony kept trying to calm me down, and it somehow worked. After a little while, something got my complete and undivided attention, the purple menace completely forgotten.

It was a… cake, or a house…

Okay, I could see the structure, the walls and the windows. It was some kind of house, but it was decorated to look like a… weird combination of desserts cobbled together. Whatever it was, it was obvious that they took their sweet, sweet time creating the decorations. It was a baroque sugary piece of art to the point that I got overwhelmed and couldn’t focus on any single detail in particular. And we were heading in the direction of the building.

After a brief conversation, purplesmart went inside first. Then, after a few seconds she came back, said something to Yellowings and she motioned me to come in.

It was a store. The clerk was a pink pony with curly hair and twitchy hyperactive behavior. She waved at me and I waved back at her. The counter was full of baked goods such as cupcakes, cakes, pies and other sweet goods. Looking around I paid no more attention to the decorations as I got focused on the tiny equines that were inside.

There was a total of six additional creatures. The store clerk was the first one I noticed. It looked quite normal and had neither wings nor horn, except for the bright pink color. The second creature I noticed was a winged one, it was blue in color and had a multicolor mane and tail. It started to fly around me like a shark, squinting at me. There were a couple of… normal type ones? One chubby, with blue coat and pink mane and tail, the other one looked quite skinny and tall, it was yellow and had orange hair. Both of them wore aprons. And the last two of them were little, children I suppose. Maybe those were a couple with two children… foals?

The flying one interrupted my thoughts by stopping a few inches away from my face, staring intensely at me and flapping lazily its wings to hover in place. Maybe it was related to Yellowings, as the two of them were winged type.

Rainbow… yes, that’s a very appropriate one… Rainbow stared at me for a little while. I just stood there staring back. Then, it looked back at Yellowings and asked something, and the yellow mare answered in a calming manner, probably sensing some kind of hostility. After that, Rainbow continued its staring.

Suddenly, Rainbow crossed its eyes and threw me a raspberry, followed by a series of silly faces and sounds, shaking its head from side to side. While maintaining a calm and neutral expression, I panicked internally.

That must have been some kind of ritual, greeting or tradition those little equines had. Or most likely being silly for the sake of being silly. Nonetheless, in the hopes of being polite and avoid any misunderstanding I tried to return the gesture with one of my own. I crossed my eyes and poked my tongue out, trying to show a silly face imitating the winged equine.

The reaction was immediate. The blue winged creature burst out laughing, losing its concentration and falling to a gentle crash on the floor and started rolling in laughter, only regaining its concentration to say something to the other creatures. The pink one bounced in place and smiled. Yellowings relaxed and smiled timidly, though Purplesmart looked mildly shocked.

After that incident, things calmed down a little, at least for me. Purplesmart, Yellowings, Rainbow and Pink started to chat between them, leaving me relatively alone to concentrate in my own thoughts. Then, I noticed again the couple of normal equines with their foals. The tall one was working, taking tray after tray of baked goods to the counter, while the chubby one looked after the little ones.

The yellow one was taller, and slightly different from the other equines, but I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly made it different. Its voice was slightly deeper, not as high pitched as the other ones. Suddenly I realized. It was the male of the couple!

It was the first time I had identified a male specimen from these creatures. Comparing with the other equines I realized that probably all of them were females. I decided that it was a good starting point.

The blue female that was taking care of the foals was talking to them in an endearing tone. I couldn’t identify any patterns. The sounds seemed completely random, until one of the foals repeated vaguely a sound that its mother had just produced.

The mother looked happy about it and called her companion, repeating the sound over and over again to see if the foal would say it again for the male to hear. It looked oddly similar to a couple trying to make their child say their first word.

The yellow stallion started to produce the sound too, but it was articulated in a different way. I was confused for a moment until I found something. The sounds had similar tune and cadence, like some kind of rhythm or a little part of a song. Then I recalled how those horse words were always sing-song-ish. I started to practice whispering the little rhythm and tune.

All the attention was on the little foals trying to imitate their parents. Pink was bouncing in place with a smile so wide that it was almost creepy and producing some muffled happy horse noises. Yellowings’s eyes were wide and almost sparkling, focused on them. Purplesmart was just smiling, and Rainbow was staring at them, smiling awkwardly, looking like she didn’t know what to do.

After some babbling from the foals that resembled slightly the original sound, the equines seemed to relax. Yellowings smiled at me and said something in an endearing voice, probably something about how cute those foals were. I was busy trying to remember the sounds, and repeating them. They were probably the first horse words that I would learn, and I needed to try them.

Yellowings was still smiling at me, and she was the pony I had spent more time with, she was the best option to try those words. I looked at her with determination and prepared to repeat the sound in a clear voice. It was a singsong little burst that lasted no more than a second and a half, and was easy to memorize. I started with confidence, but deflated a little in the end, making it sound like a question.

“Mommy?”

Author's Note

I finally have my computer working properly, but then I got to job and to life and so on... Well, this chapter got kind of extended from the original version to try to mitigate the feeling that the 'the human is an animal' stuff feeling kind of wrong. Maybe I made it worse, but as I said before, it will eventually go away, it's just part of the initial setting.

Also, we got our human to say his first horse word!

Also mention this started with a lot of focus on Fluttershy, but it's not going to be Fluttershy-centered the whole time, just give me a couple of chapters more before we move on.

9- At least we get to see the other side of things

“I will go inside first to ask if the creature can be allowed to come in.” Said Twilight as she walked ahead of them and entered through the door of Sugar Cube Corner.

As the door opened and the bell jingled, Pinkie Pie noticed that the new client was her friend Twilight. Pinkie was tending the store while Miss Cake was taking care of the twins and her husband was putting the finishing touches to the goods they were going to sell that day. Rainbow Dash was sitting in a table having a late breakfast. With a failed attempt at speaking due to an overload of cinnamon roll in her mouth she just waved a foreleg at Twilight.

“Hi Twilight, what’s up!?” Pinkie greeted her friend with her trademark smile.

“Hello, Pinkie and Rainbow. Fluttershy is outside with the new creature we talked about. I came inside first to ask if it’s okay if she brings it into the store.” Twilight inquired.

“Ooooooh… Errr…” Pinkie was suddenly nervous. Usually, wild creatures were not allowed in the store, but she didn’t want to tell her friend Fluttershy that she would have to wait outside. The last resource of hers was to put her puppy face on and look at Miss Cake. The mare suddenly realized she was the center of attention and looked around confused.

“Oh… Um… Well, we have no clients right now… If the animal behaves itself and Fluttershy is here to take care of it just in case…” Miss Cake recalled the conversation and replied, a little uncertain herself.

“I’m sure there will be no problems. The creature seems to be far more intelligent than a regular animal, as we initially thought… I will be right back in a second.” Twilight came out again, finding her friend and the creature waiting outside. “Fluttershy, they say you can bring the creature in.” She motioned them to come.

The three of them came inside. The creature had to duck its head a little. It was really tall and intimidating sometimes. Pinkie Pie greeted it with a smile and a wave that interestingly enough, the mysterious being returned.

After a few moments, Rainbow Dash approached the creature and started to fly in circles, analyzing it with a challenging stare. Getting visibly nervous on account of the prismatic mare’s behavior, the creature started to look away in a desperate attempt to ignore the tense situation. It seemed interested in the foals and their mother. Noticing the focus the creature took on the foals, Rainbow hovered in front of its face, cutting its line of sight from the family.

“He seems to be too interested in the foals… Are you sure it is not dangerous, Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked, looking suspiciously between the creature and the yellow pegasus.

“Oh, no! He is so nice. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He has helped me with the animals and I have seen him even petting some of them.” Fluttershy assured. Rainbow Dash continued with her stare contest for a few more seconds.

“EEEEBLUAG BLEGH BLUghublebadiblrrrrrrtbbpp…” Until suddenly, she went cross eyed, stuck her tongue out and started to make funny faces like when she tried to make a guard laugh.

The creature was startled by the mare and flinched. It continued to stare back, like it wasn’t sure how to react to that situation, until…

“AAAAUUUGHBLEBBBLeuyrppdhhrrt…” The mysterious being went cross eyed and returned the gesture.

Rainbow Dash was taken aback by the sudden outburst, her ears flat against her head for a moment. Then, she snorted with cheeks puffed, unable to control her own laugh. She crashed on the floor and rolled around in laughter, only able to recover her breath for a moment…

“BUAHA HA HA HA… I like it! *snort* BUAHAHahahaha…” She said, pointing a foreleg in its direction, and then continued laughing.

Pinkie Pie giggled and bounced in place. Fluttershy released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. But Twilight seemed bewildered at that creature’s reactions and gestures.

“Soooo girls. Are you coming to the picnic this afternoon?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh, of course, I wouldn’t miss it.” Fluttershy assured.

“Of course! Can you imagine a pet picnic afternoon WITHOUT Fluttershy!?” Pinkie exclaimed dramatically.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m coming too…” Rainbow suddenly looked meditative.

“Don’t worry, Rainbow… I know how you have missed Tank, but he’ll be back again for the spring and summer.” Fluttershy said, trying to comfort the blue mare.

“It’s part of why we have organized this pet picnic after all.” Twilight added.

“And the other part is to get you out of your cottage, Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie chimed in, bouncing in place merrily. “Because you have been all busy taking care of that new creature.”

“Errr… Where is Angel Bunny? Are you going to bring this big guy instead of him?” Rainbow asked a question that suddenly came to her mind out of the blue.

“Oh… Well… Angel has been misbehaving lately. I have told him many times that this new creature needed extra care, but he kind of…” Fluttershy trailed off.

“Started to be insufferable?” Rainbow added in a flat tone.

“Um… a little… The snakes told me that he was doing a lot of noises to scare it out of the cottage last night. He woke up a lot of the critters that spend the night at home.” Fluttershy explained.

“So, he’s grounded. Well, I can’t complain. I think I prefer this big weird one.” Rainbow smiled.

They continued to chat about trivial things like the weather and what they were going to have for lunch. Meanwhile, Carrot Cake continued to bring tray after tray of baked goods to the counter, with Pinkie Pie serving the occasional client. Cup Cake continued to take care of the twins. Pound and Pumpkin were babbling to their mother and playing with some wooden toys.

The atmosphere was relaxed. Fluttershy and Twilight bought some sweets and goods for the picnic, making sure that the tree of them, Pinkie, Twilight and Fluttershy would bring something different. Suddenly, Miss Cake gasped.

“Carrot, love! Come here!” She called in a happy tone.

“What’s it, my dear?” Asked Carrot Cake from the kitchen, a little confused.

“What did you just say, Pumpkin? Mo-my? Mo-my?” Miss Cake tickled Pumpkin’s belly, the foal laughed and babbled.

Mr. Cake got out of the kitchen for a moment and got close to his wife. They played with the foals while the next batch of cupcakes was in the oven.

“Ma…ma…ma…” Said Pound Cake for the couple’s delight.

“They are getting better every day, love…” Noticed Carrot Cake. “Mommy, mommy…”

The couple continued to play with their foals, telling them “mommy” again and again. They managed to repeat the word from time to time between giggles and babbles.

Pinkie and Twilight smiled at them. Fluttershy also smiled but with a melancholic sigh. Rainbow Dash was just looking at them, a little unsure about how to act in that situation.

After a while, the Cakes went back to work, they were almost ready to let Pinkie go. Fluttershy looked back at the weird being with a mix of happiness and melancholic look on her face.

“Aren’t they cute?” Fluttershy murmured and sighed.

After a pause, the creature looked determined for a moment, looked directly into Fluttershy’s eyes and made a sound.

“Mommy?”

Fluttershy froze. She had always wanted to have a foal herself, she was good with foals, sometimes volunteering to take care of them, but that was a faraway dream because she needed to find a stallion first, and she was really scared about the idea. She had been taking care of that weird being for a long time, she thought it was an animal, a really clever and weird one, but when she heard the word, something snapped in her mind.

It was a really strange creature, so different yet so similar to a pony. Its gestures were so pony-like, and it showed a level of intelligence beyond most other animals. This was no simple animal. Fluttershy knew at that very moment that if she tried, she could teach it to talk, to be polite, to be, in the end, like a pony… And she liked the idea.

Fueled by the emotion of the moment, the ambient of the Cakes taking care and playing with their foals and the fact that she had been taking care of him for some time, Fluttershy gasped, and with a leap that sent them both stumbling a couple of steps backwards as she leaped and hugged the mysterious being with her four legs and her wings.

“Awwwww… You are so cute! Who’s your mommy? Who’s your mommy?” Fluttershy said while nuzzling the creature’s neck.

Rainbow tried to stifle a laugh, but she failed and snorted anyways. Pinkie Pie went “Aww” and Twilight was really shocked, starting to take notes with a quill and a piece of paper that came out of nowhere. The creature had a very pony-like expression of shock on its face, with its arms half raised like if it was scared to even touch the mare that was now clinging to its torso. Ever so slowly, it lowed one of its arms and started to pet Fluttershy’s back, but it was clear that it was a nervous, uneasy and awkward gesture.

Author's Note

A small one, I guess. Updates are going to come slower now that I have to work, but we are around halfway of the already written part, so there is still a lot in the buffer. This is the pony side of things, I slightly modified it to include how some of them are already questioning their assumption of him being an animal.

Soon, some real developements will start to happen. He has survived his first days in Equestria! Next stop, learning some pony language! And next, who knows, maybe even become a productive member of society.

10- At least I got a room

The day had been really weird. The little horses had a picnic on a grassy hill. They all brought their pets, or what I assumed were their pets. There was a total of six Technicolor equines. Purplesmart, Yellowings, Squiggletail, Rainbow, Pink and another orange one that I still needed a name for, she was wearing a cowboy hat and had apples painted on her hindquarters… I was sure I could come up with something eventually.

Squiggletail brought a cat. It was one of those long-haired cats with funny faces. The cowboy mare brought a nice dog that played around merrily. Rainbow had a tortoise-copter that I put back in the box of things that I would eventually think about but right then I was feeling like not thinking too hard. Purplesmart brought an owl. And the pink one brought a tiny toothless alligator. I was thinking about how weird it was to have an alligator as a pet when I realized that Yellowings, the animal caretaker, the pet hoarder, the one with a ton of animals hadn’t brought anything… except for me…

That weird nagging sensation again… Was I being treated as a pet!?

The ponies spent the time talking and taking care of their pets, also they tried to get Yellowings’ attention in order to check their animals, apparently, she was the expert, but she spent almost the whole day petting ME.

Also, she repeated that pony word over and over to me, and I reluctantly repeated it a couple of times for her delight. I need to figure out what I had said that was driving the yellow equine crazy about me.

When it started to get dark, we went back home to Yellowings’ cottage. After a brief farewell, all the tiny horses parted their ways and once again I was left alone with my caretaker. She was trotting happily by my side, giggling to herself and ruffling her wings like a happy bird.

Of course, she didn’t let me get the couch, not that I would after the previous night incident. We spent the night like the other ones, but she was extra cuddly. She was really adorable and all and I would be happy, but after her reaction and sudden change of behavior… or sudden intensification, I was starting to feel uneasy. I woke up in the morning with her hugging me with both wings and legs… all of them.

She cooked breakfast, and every time I tried to help, I was just pushed back and rewarded with a wave of nuzzles, cuddles and endearing horse sounds. In the end, I got grilled fish with an assortment of the things she knew I liked, and then she almost fed me like if I couldn’t even hold a spoon. I managed to push her back a little and ate the meal on my own, giving her an awkward smile. This was getting out of control…

Suddenly, her rump started to glow…

Yep, the pink butterflies on her flank were glowing and sparkling more butterflies around. She panicked for a moment, trotting in place and looking around like if she needed to pee but the bathroom was occupied. After a moment of doing that, she gasped like if she had had an idea and motioned me to pack all my things and to come with her. Well, it had to be something important if she was acting like that, so I tried to do my best and be ready as soon as I could.

It was the first time since the picnic that she actually listened, talked and gestured like she used to do. That weird thing that she does that looks like any other pony’s gestures but for some reason I actually understand the general idea behind and she understands my general intentions when I talk back to her.

We ran towards what looked like a toy tree castle made out of cheap glossy sparkling plastic from a distance, but it happened to be an actual functional castle on top of a tree, but it was made out of a weird glassy material… Including the tree.

Okay!

I’m not becoming crazy, I’m a normal person!

We came inside the tree trunk. It was hollow and looked like a salon with fancy stairs that went up all the way to the actual castle trough the tree trunk. Once we got upstairs, we ran along a corridor until we found what looked like a big room with a big round table in the middle.

Around the table were a set of chairs and on the table was what looked like a miniature map of a really big area. I thought it was a model at first, but after a second inspection I realized it was like a holographic image. A set of red apples and pink butterflies were circling around what looked like a big lively city that looked more like a theme park.

The cowboy pony was there with Purplesmart, they greeted Yellowings and the cowboy mare scrunched her face at me like if I were really out of place here. Purplesmart seemed to ask Yellowings some questions pointing at me.

They gathered around the magical map and argued a few minutes, both Yellowings and the orange one pointing at the specific location with a disapproving tone. Purplesmart tried to reassure them. After a while, they seemed to agree on something.

Then, Yellowings pointed at me and at the map, talking to Purplesmart, but she shook her head to the yellow mare. She seemed to panic again, trying to explain things to the purple one, but both her and the cowboy mare agreed that Yellowings was wrong about whatever she was talking about. After a few moments with Yellowings’ voice turning into panicked squeaks, she deflated and lowered her head.

Purplesmart took a few steps forward and pointed at her puffed up chest, then pointed at me while talking to Yellowings. The orange one nodded in agreement. Yellowings squeaked in a quiet voice, obviously not happy about the conclusion of the conversation.

The purple mare said something very loudly, and after a pause repeated that same sequence of sounds. The little lizard that had come to the cottage with Squiggletail appeared and talked to Purplesmart. She immediately replied and the lizard brought a piece of paper and a quill. Then he started to take notes about something Yellowings was telling them.

After that, the orange pony pushed Yellowings out of the room, while she continued to squeak and wave at me. Finally, she waved at me in a gesture that I recognized as a farewell, and I waved back until the orange mare dragged Yellowings out of sight.

I sighed and shook my head. That mare was acting extra weird lately. Then I realized something, something important. I was left alone.

With Purplesmart.

“Oh… okay… hello?” I turned around to greet the purple equine.

She said something in their sing song language, smiled and ruffled her wings with excitement. Her smile was so broad and intense that it started to feel creepy.

The lizard interrupted her. He pointed at the first item of the list he had written and Purplesmart giggled nervously and nodded. The mare motioned me to come with her and I followed suspiciously.

Through another door we went, and into what looked like a corridor with guest rooms. They led me to one of those doors, and upon opening it, it was, as expected, a room. On the way there, another purple unicorn appeared and looked at me for a moment, waved, I waved back and then they turned back and continued minding their business, they seemed pretty busy, like Purplesmart used to do, reading a couple of floating books at the same time. Was she a sibling of Purplesmart? They certainly looked similar. With how big the castle was, there should be a lot of those equines living here in spite of the lonely feeling the empty corridors gave.

The room was like a five stars hotel suite room. Everything was made out of that shinny material, the bed was big enough for me, there was a window with a wonderful sight of the whole town down there and proper furniture, including a lot of shelves with books.

Purplesmart smiled creepily again and said something to me, only to be interrupted by the lizard pointing at another item on the list and gesturing to the room again. The mare deflated slightly, snorted and nodded to the lizard, who rolled his eyes.

The mare started to explain something to me, speaking with a fast pace in her language, then, the lizard interrupted her again and said a few words. Purplesmart groaned in frustration.

Only then, without saying a word, she approached the bed and put her forelegs on the pale purple bedlinen, like if testing its softness and motioned me to do the same. I mimicked her actions. “So, that’s the bed… I get it.”

She turned around to the drawers in a crystal nightstand and pulled a few of them. I did the same. “Ok, I can put my stuff in there.”

Then she showed me the bathroom, with all the supplies, towels and stuff. After that, she turned on and off the taps of the different applications and flushed the toilet. “Okay, I get it. That is the cold water and that is the hot one.”

After the intense morning I felt like I needed a good shower, and I was going to enjoy this new place. I first thought about sorting all my clothes and trinkets, but looking at the curious purple mare, I decided against that. I kept my belongings with me and entered the bathroom. Purplesmart was giving me that creepy smile again, only to deflate when she realized that I was going to take a shower. Her groan of frustration was muffled by the closed door.

Savoring my little moments of solitude and privacy out of the continuous care and curious stares of those equines, I checked my phone.

Still no signal…

Author's Note

The previous one was a short one, and kind of a retelling of the previous part, so, I guess I owe you all another one, so here it is, now with some real progress included!

12- At least I got omelet

Starlight Glimmer had been studying her magic and friendship lessons from a very early hour in the morning. She wanted to feel happy with herself in spite of having avoided the more ‘practical’ friendship lessons.

Without the guidance of Twilight Sparkle, who was freaking out about a weird creature, she had had a lot of freedom with her studies. She has been focusing on all the magic lessons she had to learn, all the mini tests and exercises she had to do in order to remember, and last, but not least, the checklists of personal issues she needed to address.

In fact, she had already finished all her homework and was ready to start with her ‘practical’ lessons, but she had been looking at the list for an hour already and was scared of every single item. “I think I’m going to have something for lunch and then I will get back to it…” She mumbled to herself.

The library was a mess, and Twilight was nowhere to be seen. Starlight Glimmer became a little bit wary about it. The last few days, Twilight had been studying without rest, and she would never leave her library in such a horrible state after finishing her research.

Following her ears and her nose, Starlight approached the kitchen. Someone was there and something was being cooked. That sounded like spike preparing lunch, but with somepony else. Peeking over the door, Starlight saw that weird creature handling a frying pan and Spike mixing something in a bowl.

“Hey, Starlight! How are you doing?” Spike greeted the mare, and the creature looked back at her without stopping his cooking.

“Hello, Spike. Where is Twilight?” Asked Starlight, looking suspiciously at the mysterious being.

“She is asleep.” Spike replied.

“Oh… she is okay then…” Starlight relaxed a little.

“This guy here gave her a massage and she blacked out like a baby.” Spike chuckled.

“Oh! Spike! But…” Starlight eyes went wide and she tensed. “Okay! One moment, I will be right back!” The mare ran away.

She needed to check if Twilight was okay. Probably that creature could have put a spell on Twilight, maybe it wanted to get all of them! Maybe… Maybe it was a new changeling strategy!

Starlight stopped in her tracks, slipping a little on the polished floor. She needed to save Spike! Oh, no… it was probably too late for him. What she saw was probably a changeling disguised as him already. She resumed her gallop towards Twilight’s room… To find her peacefully asleep. Or she could also be a changeling…

“The characteristics of the subbbgg… bleh primate in nature but awwwlso showwws signd ouuf…” The mare turned around and snored loudly.

Yep… that was definitely Twilight being Twilight, nothing seemed out of place.

Spike! He was still in danger! Starlight came out of Twilight’s room and put a locking spell on the door and a few protective shields around her room just in case, and then galloped back to the kitchen, her horn glowing with a spell ready. She stormed into the kitchen and kept her horn pointed at the creature.

“Okay, who and what are you?” She said menacingly. The creature took a few steps back, putting up its arms defensively, and stole a glance towards Spike.

“Errr… Calm down. It’s just the creature Twilight is investigating…” Spike tried to reassure the agitated mare. But suddenly, Starlight shot a spell at Spike that made him stumble back a little in surprise.

“What are you doing, Starlight!?” The dragon protested.

“Oh… sorry Spike, it was a changeling detection spell. I just needed to make sure…” And just like that, another bolt of the detection spell was shot at the creature, which jumped back in shock. The spell just impacted and instead of performing its function, it just sparkled and sizzled until it dissipated without any effect.

Starlight lowered her head and adopted a more menacing pose. Of all possible reactions, this one was completely unexpected. It felt like there was some kind of disruptive shield that prevented her spell from working.

“Starlight! Calm down! He is harmless!” Spike tried to reason with Starlight.

A few awkward seconds passed as they all stared into each other with different levels of shock. The creature was just standing in the opposite corner of Starlight’s, putting his hands in what could be understood as a defensive position. Starlight looked around and realizing everything was in order, she got close slowly, not taking her eyes away from the creature and charged a more complex scanning matrix spell.

“What in tartarus are you?” She said in a slightly less menacing voice.

“Dunno… Twilight has been trying to discover it without any luck. Maybe you have seen something like him before.” Spike answered.

“Actually no… But I will try my scanning spell to get some more information.”

Her horn started to glow and a few complex magical symbols surrounded the slightly distressed creature. After a few seconds, some of the symbols started to fade away and sizzle, but Starlight reacted increasing the amount of magic she was feeding into her spell.

Finally, Starlight stopped and took a deep breath as the matrix collapsed and the spell dissipated. “Ugh… It required more energy than I was expecting… How weird.”

“Did you find something?” Spike inquired.

“Not really. It was unusually hard to maintain the spell; in addition, it couldn’t lock on anything. It’s like if this creature has no magical aura at all!” Starlight Glimmer answered, a little bit bewildered.

“That’s what Twilight said…” Spike shrugged and continued preparing the meal.

“So… it’s safe to be around it?” Starlight tilted her head.

“Yup! Fluttershy have been taking care of him for a few days already and told us he is harmless.”

The creature calmed down a little. Probably because he had already been scanned by Twilight, and this time he wasn’t so frightened. Slowly he put a dish in the table in front of Starlight and smiled awkwardly.

“O-me-let?”

Starlight took a glance at the dish, and it contained a normal looking omelet. Then she looked back at Spike, a little confused.

“He did it completely alone. I supervised him just in case, but he seems fine. Also, I’m teaching him how to talk.” Spike clarified.

They didn’t bother to take the food out of the kitchen; they just ate as they were cooking. Something that Twilight wouldn’t have agreed with, probably, but they didn’t care. It was far more entertaining trying to teach the creature a few words while they were working, and after the headache Twilight had given Spike with her little episode, he was also too tired to make a formal lunch. Starlight didn’t say anything; she was too distracted watching the creature working with his nimble and dexterous claws.

After a while, by the look of it, Starlight thought that this creature had some kind of intelligence. It was behaving very deliberately, managing the kitchen utensils with precision and purpose. He definitely knew what he was doing and has already done it before. Therefore, it was not a wild creature, it was either intelligent on its own, or extremely well educated. By its interest in learning and the way it paid attention to every little detail it was clear to Starlight that it, or more accurately, him, wanted to learn. This wasn’t the behavior of a wild animal, not even a trained one. He didn’t repeat any patterns that someone had taught him, he observed, reasoned and actuated afterwards in consequence.

***

The new purple mare looked a lot calmer after lunch. She observed me all the time and looked deep in thought. The lunch consisted in an omelet and a few other vegetables they had around that the little lizard cooked himself.

We just ate in the kitchen, and my intention to observe every little detail of the place was frustrated by the fact that it all looked the same. Everything was like it was designed to be sold as cheap plastic Chinese toy… Except for the fact that it was made out of solid gemstone. Probably it was my bad mood, and I wasn’t very keen on getting all the details, maybe it was my box of things to think about later that was getting too cramped with this whole tree castle made out of a solid block of carved gemstone.

The stove, the cupboards, the sink… everything was made out of crystals of some kind, and I got really dizzy trying to figure out how this whole place was made. It looked like someone took a giant block and sculpted it. Of course, there were objects that were made out of normal stuff, like the food, the books, some spare wood chair… Although in general, even the silverware was made out of gems, at least most of them.

Once lunchtime was over, I went back to my room. There was nothing left for me to do, and the room was the most familiar place around this crazy castle. In addition, I had left all my belongings there and out of habit I wanted to check my phone. Low battery.

It was a beautiful day outside, birds were singing, flowers were blooming, on days like this, phones like this could be charged with solar power. There were no power outlets, so that was the only way. Because of that, I decided that I should try to get as much energy for my power bank as possible.

Due to the fact that my phone was not working properly, it wasn’t the most useful thing in the world, maybe I could play some music on it, but I wanted to keep the device more or less a secret, especially with Purplesmart around. Although, it felt good to do something that was familiar to me. I know that those little solar panels did almost nothing to recharge your batteries, but if you could get a few days of sun, they would recharge the power bank and then I would have energy for a few battery charges for my device. If I used it carefully, I could have a stable source of energy for it.

It was fun. I’ve never been in a situation that would force me to actually make use of the solar panels I bought and usually carried at the bottom of my backpack to any trip into the forest. I’ve always had enough charge in the power bank to last a few days, and that was more than enough in most cases. Why did I have those panels? Because I saw them in the store and couldn’t resist even though I knew they were mostly useless, but I loved to play around with all kind of knick-knacks like those.

Anyway, with my little setup, I had the panels connected to the power bank on top of a chair and the windowsill correctly oriented to get the few hours of sunlight there were left of the day. Then I checked my phone and it was correctly charging, though very slowly. Of course, I turned it off again because there was still no signal.

Author's Note

Quick update. I've been working on changing some details to give the story a better structure in general, and I'm probably getting over the block I got myself into and I'm actually continuing and writing (or starting) new chapters (This is still part of the original buffer I had, but they are requiring some work). Some of those changes are being made to better match the show and some specific episodes. Some cues can be seen in this one, so maybe you know what's about to happen soon.

This is still a pretty slice of life-ish chapter, without any transcendental discovery.

14- At least I learned some maths

“Call the princesses! We are under attack!” Twilight came galloping into the dining hall.

Starlight Glimmer, Spike and the creature were having a peaceful breakfast in the late morning. With the help of the creature, Spike was able to prepare a great meal for everyone. The plate with Twilight’s favorite pancakes was already waiting for her, but everyone was surprised by her sudden appearance.

“Twilight! What happened!?” Spike asked, alarmed.

“I woke up trapped in my room, Spike. Someone tried to kidnap me in my own quarters!” Twilight snorted, looking through the windows in search of the enemy.

Starlight Glimmer went wide eyed and sank a little in her own chair, her ears flat against her skull.

“Oh, no… It could be… Twilight! If someone trapped you, they might be trying to prevent you from getting to the others so they can be easy targets!” Spike answered.

“But that makes no sense! It looks like someone is trying to prevent us from using the elements of harmony, but we don’t have those anymore… The map! Maybe they want to avoid us from going somewhere so they could do whatever they want!” Twilight deduced. “I’ve been a whole hour trying to open the door, the mage who did that was a very experienced one, they put a lot of defenses and protections.”

“But your cutie mark is not glowing…” Spike pointed to Twilight’s flank.

“Okay! Okay! Calm down everypony!” Starlight finally exclaimed.

“What!? Do you know something?” Twilight looked at her suspiciously.

“Well… let’s say that yesterday, when I found the library in such a bad condition and couldn’t find you… And Spike told me that the creature put you asleep…” Starlight smiled awkwardly. “I kind of thought that he was some kind of hostile creature that put you asleep, so he could do whatever he wanted to everypony else… and then I found you in your room, so I wanted to protect you while I was helping Spike and… kind of sealed your door…”

“I told you that he is harmless…” Spike pointed out.

“And… put a few protections on the seal… and shields around your room… and magical protections for those shields…” Starlight continued.

Twilight’s jaw almost hit the floor; Spike just glanced between Twilight and Starlight. The creature just looked around clueless in the tense awkward silence.

“And after that… I forgot and tried to communicate with the creature to see if I could find something about him. Tried some magic and overdid myself… I almost had a magical blackout. And this morning I forgot to come round to undo the seal on your door.” Starlight Glimmer couldn’t look more miserable. She just stared at her own hooves and her ears were flat, her tail twitched nervously.

“You… how could you forget something like THAT!?” A wisp of smoke came out of Twilight’s mane.

“The same way you forgot about sleeping? And eating? And just kept studying for three days straight?” Spike pointed out. Now it was Twilight’s turn to look mortified and ashamed of her behavior. She looked down and pawed the crystal floor.

“Oh… sorry about that, Starlight… I’m supposed to be a good example for you and…” Twilight apologized.

“Nevermind, Twilight. I’m sorry too for not remembering the seal.” Starlight replied.

After exchanging apologies, they peacefully ate the late breakfast. Twilight enjoyed the pancakes as always, and that helped getting her spirits back up again after the rough awakening. She thought that she was behind her schedule, but after the frustrating sessions of studying without any substantial conclusion and falling asleep afterwards, the schedule was probably a lost cause right now. Anyways, she hadn’t had anything important to do, just the regular things. For example, she needed to clean up the library, reorganize it, go buy some groceries, help Starlight with her studies… Oh gosh, she was going to be so far behind her intended schedule after the few days she spent in the research… Wait, the schedule was a lost cause… no, no, no…

“Twilight?” Spike asked, always able to read when the alicorn was about to get into one of her loops.

“Ugh… right… sorry about that. Breathing exercises and… calm…” She shook her head and started with the exercises Cadance taught her. Those helped some and took her out of the loop and back to the present moment.

They finished breakfast and Twilight was able to regain her bearings and in her head there was already a damage control plan to get back into her routine with minimal deviations. No need to panic, after all, all those princess stuff could be taken care of later…

“So… did you find something interesting about it?” Twilight absentmindedly asked Starlight while doing the dishes after breakfast.

“Well… a few things, actually.” Starlight put a hoof on her chin, pensative.

“Do tell, please.” Twilight inquired.

“It’s definitely an intelligent creature, and I know he can talk, but in another language that is so weird that I couldn’t even make sense of a single word.” Starlight told her.

“Could it be a highly trained pet that got lost and came here from very far away?” Twilight questioned.

“Oh, no… not a trained pet. It’s absolutely intelligent. We were exchanging words last evening, he showed genuine interest in learning and managed to repeat a few words.” Starlight argued.

“But that makes him as intelligent as a parrot.” Twilight countered.

“Not at all… we were drawing and writing together, and he learned to write some Equestrian words, and took his own notes in a really weird script. Maybe he comes from a very far away civilization and he is lost here, we could help him.” Starlight Glimmer explained.

“But I have checked all the known civilizations…” Twilight whispered to herself.

“Exactly Twilight, known civilizations. We are not sure about what lays across the badlands, for example.” Starlight added.

“The notes… I want to take a look at its… err… his notes.” Twilight asked. “Because it’s a him, right?”

“He always wears clothes, and maybe their females have beards, who knows, I’ve been unable to check it.”

Conveniently enough, the creature had brought the books and all the parchment he had written the previous night, probably he wanted to ask some questions. Starlight gestured towards the items and slowly took them away from him, making sure that he didn’t interpret her action as something hostile. Once Starlight had taken the notes away, she did a gesture to thank the creature politely and offered them to Twilight.

The young alicorn examined the notes for a while, taking special interest in the little lines of tight script that the creature had written in his foreign language. There were definitely repeated symbols and an apparent pattern. She could almost imagine the words there if she wasn’t paying attention to the fact that she had never seen those symbols before. In addition, the symbols were designed to intertwine with each other in a pleasant and almost hypnotic way; the end of one of them was almost always the very beginning of the next one. Some calligraphers in Equestria could do that with Equestrian script, but it was hard when you were taking fast notes.

There were some drawings and a lot of schemes. By the look of it, he had been trying to do his own research about ponies. Twilight couldn’t believe what she was seeing. It was so fascinating and at the same time unnerving to be researched like she was doing with him.

“We still need a way to communicate with him.” Starlight interrupted Twilight’s reverie.

“Fluttershy understands him, we can ask her when she comes back from Las Pegasus.” Spike suggested.

“We could start with something simple… MATHS! They say mathematics is a universal language, if we can teach him our symbols for the numbers, we could establish some kind of communication!” Twilight smiled broadly, proud of her own idea.

“Of course, something simple…” Spike rolled his eyes.

***

Purplesmart cleared a patch of the messy library and prepared a workspace similar to the one Smartylocks had put together in my room, although the table was way bigger and the number of books… well, we were in a library after all, and when you can wingardium-leviosa a seemingly unending number of objects with your horn magic… You can imagine. And Smartylocks was helping her…

This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!

Quills and paper ready, and I was more amused than anything that my calligraphy skills came in handy with those dip pens, the purple horned and winged equine started to draw a list of symbols, then adjacent to them drew exactly one dot near the first, two dots near the second, three dots… WAIT!

Numbers! Those were the pony numbers!

*One* Purplesmart said in her language.

*One* I answered, trying to reproduce the little rhythm and tune that was so simple that it was difficult to get it right at the first try.

Of course, we spent half an hour just to get the first three symbols right. Then I wrote my own 1, 2 and 3 near those, and added a zero near an empty spot. That threw them for a loop until they figured out we humans had a number for nothing. The purple mares seemed delighted when they solved the mystery, and added their own symbol near mine. Then we added words identifying the place of each symbol in a three-digit number, units, tens and hundreds…

Zero is a very important number for human math, and if they already knew the concept, that meant their math was probably advanced too, and not just a bunch of symbols to represent quantities.

Purplesmart took a few notes and reproduced the symbols carefully on her notebook. From there, we worked in concepts like ‘few’, writing the word near a few dots, then ‘many’, writing the word near a lot of dots. After that, we used a glass of water to represent ‘little’ and ‘much’, or ‘empty’ and ‘full’, there was always a little unknown component in the translations. In addition, a short line and a long one was drawn to learn the words about length. Some geometrical forms to represent big, medium and small. The little horses’ language was almost like music whenever a few words were combined correctly, and it was kind of catchy, like if it was meant to be easy to learn. When we reached the point of talking about day, week, month and year I got a little bit lost, but nonetheless I had an idea.

Pointing at one of the sets of drawings that were a nice-looking house, a small tree and a little pony compared to a deteriorated house, a big tree and an adult pony that I deduced were for the concept of ‘new’ and ‘old’ asked Purplesmart a question.

*Much… new… old… you?* I asked, pointing a finger to her. The catchy song didn’t happen, which could mean I had just butchered their grammar, but I hoped the message was clear.

We spent a few seconds like that, me pointing at her with a triumphant smile because I had managed to formulate my first question and she looking at me in puzzlement. Purplesmart grimaced at the sound I produced, then scrunched her muzzle, then tilted her head for a moment and finally… Her eyes went wide, like if she had just registered the meaning behind my question.

She suddenly blushed and looked down, tracing circles on the floor with a foreleg. Oh, my… Seemed like the statement ‘Never ask a lady about her age’ applied to those little equines too. I had a moment to experience the instant regret after my question.

“Neigh whinny snort… *old* Snort… *few than… two centuries…*” The purple mare mumbled for herself.

It was hard to piece together the word “century”, we had barely scratched the surface, and I had to check my notes where there was a number of three digits, ‘210’ and below the symbols were the individual names in their phonetic script, and then another script below. Units, tens and hundreds I assumed. Half remembered the sound and half remembered the script, but it was there, their word for century.

Two centuries…

Wait… what!?

Author's Note

Well, there it goes. Bracing myself for impact when everyone starts to discuss pony ages and lifespans. Before anything of that happens, let me tell you, read carefully and you might be able to catch the 'thing' about their ages before its revealed in the next chapters.

And remember, I'm more fond of fluff rather than existential crisis, but here we go, a little bit of it, before it gets sorted out.

And the fun of learning the language and culture finally begins! And the human finally gets the 'probably an animal' thing completely sorted out. Progress!

15- At least I met Smiley

After learning that the young pony lady was over a hundred years old, I had to excuse myself, grab the things and go back to my bedroom. They seemed worried when they saw me leave and take refuge in my quarters, but I needed a moment, or some time to digest what had happened.

Over a hundred years old, maybe even closer to two hundred years old.

And I thought those little cutesy creatures were childlike.

And now they seemed like eldritch pillars of wisdom compared to me…

Now I felt like I was the child around them! How could that possibly be! They even behaved in a childish manner sometimes, and they looked like infants! For how long could they live!? How old were their elders!?

I would be gone before I achieved anything of substance in the eyes of those creatures, yet they looked small, approachable, even cuddly sometimes! That’s not fair! I also wanted to have that much time in life to spare!

The box of ‘things to think about later’ was too small to hold such a discovery, and that thought plagued me and made me uncomfortable for the whole night. Maybe that’s why some of them treated me like an animal, or something below them, that’s because I probably was exactly that in their eyes! But I haven’t told them my age yet. As far as they knew, I could be… over nine thousand!

But I was not…

They even managed to achieve arcane powers; they could move stuff with their minds…

They could also read minds, if what Smartylocks did was a common thing. That also freaked me out. It was brief and I was able to ‘defend’ my mind, and she went flying to the opposite wall when her ‘power’ broke down. That was part of why I didn’t freak out too much, I felt kind of in control of the situation, and she is kind of cute, so it was hard to stay mad at her, but I still got that nagging sensation whenever a horned pony was near me. Was I getting paranoid?

I’m going back to bed. I had enough for today.

***

A gentle knock on the door grabbed my attention. Just quiet enough to avoid waking me up, but enough for me to notice if I was already awake.

Smartylocks. Sleepy and with bags under her eyes. He said a few unintelligible words and showed me the notes she had been taking. I looked through the window, it was still dark, and the small equine looked like she hadn’t got any sleep, just like me.

I was again fully alert and paying attention to any weird thoughts and one eye always on her horn, just in case.

Well, whatever…

Stepping to the side, I invited her to my room. Now with some slight reverence for this arcane yet relatable creatures. I could probably put my mind to work on something so the loop of them being centuries old, me missing my home, and general depression could be broken somehow.

She went straight to the point.

After showing me a picture of an angry face, a scared one and a sad one, she taught me the respective words, and then pointed a hoof at me.

*Angry, sad, scared?* she asked.

*No* I replied.

“Neigh *angry, sad* snort *scared.* It sounded more like a statement, and then pointed at the paper about numbers and ages. Then said something more and put a hoof on my shoulder in what I assumed was a comforting gesture.

I could only look down. She knew it, something about yesterday’s session bothered me.

*New… Old… me* She said, then drew the offending three-digit long number.

*New old you?* She asked and passed the quill to me to write it down, and I did in my own human Arabic numbers. I felt insignificant.

After some analysis, Smartylocks seemed baffled. There was something weird with my number. Showing the paper with the dots, she asked again something I didn’t understand, but it had something to do with the dots.

Oh, probably she couldn’t still understand my script that well yet.

I put the number of dots corresponding to my age, and passed it to her. She counted them diligently, tapping a different hoof in turn to the floor as she bobbed her head counting each dot, then scratched her head with a hoof.

*How many?* She showed me the number for her age.

I sighed and started to put dots down, there were over a hundred to put, so this would take a while. At certain point, about the number fifty she started to scowl at me and took the quill away with her magic. She then did it herself and let me count, and it didn’t make any sense…

We went back to our little research papers to find out what was wrong, and only then I noticed something. We only had touched the pony symbols for numbers from zero to three. I took that paper again and then wrote down the rest of the numbers with their respective dots. She looked very surprised at that. Smartylocks then proceeded to add the symbols for the rest of the… WAIT… two symbols for the number four?

They count in fours.

They don’t use base ten, they use base four because they have four legs to count.

That’s it. I had been shocked for the rest of the evening after Purplesmart made that statement about her age being just less than two centuries. I couldn’t concentrate anymore in the lessons they were giving to me. Not that there was much left of the day, but still.

That being said, if they count in fours, their tens are actually four and that makes their centuries just sixteen. If Purplesmart said she was less than two centuries old, and I suppose that she is older than one century, she is actually between sixteen and thirty-two years old. That’s an awfully big margin to begin with. The only useful information is that if she is relatively young for their species, they should live about the same number of years as a human then.

I continued checking my notes about months, weeks and years now having in mind their base for the numbers and doing the right conversions, now it made more sense. Seven days a week, twenty-eight days a month, exactly four complete weeks and thirteen months, that makes a year of 364 days long for them…

Heh… little they know that it’s actually around 365.25 days a year, but for a primitive calendar like that it’s quite accurate. I will have to do some research in their calendars, I’m sure it’s going to be an interesting subject, and it will blow their minds if I tell them why it is like that. Maybe they do know and have their own methods to compensate that I’m not aware of because the explanation they gave me was so basic.

Unless of course I’m not on the planet Earth and their years are different, but the uncanny similarities between the places I know and this one makes it hard to believe that I’m on another planet. Furthermore, I would expect to be hearing about crazy year lengths like 700 days or 100 days a year, and most certainly the days wouldn’t last 24 hours, because one of the few things that kept consistent was the time I was able to measure with my phone’s clock. Except from the funky thing the sun did (Sun, you are still in my book of grudges for that), days were 24 hours long according to my phone, because the sun set at the same time, and my phone measured 24 hour-long days.

Finally, after some more scribbling with my quill and some note taking, I decided that enough was enough and then hided all my stuff again and went to bed. Probably the only way to go back home was to communicate with these creatures and ask for my way back, or probably ask for clues, maybe work together in finding again the regular human civilization because they looked like they had no idea. Anyways, I was stranded here no matter what, so I decided that I should let it go, relax and sleep.

One last thing before saying goodbye to the purple pony was the realization that Smartylocks had the same number of dots as I had for our ages. She laughed at the realization, like a real laugh, not a horse noise.

I had heard these little equines kind of laugh before, but not this close and not this openly… I could close my eyes and just imagine it was a human girl laughing, the sounds were almost identical, except for a little weird undertone.

She extended her hoof in what I thought was the equivalent to a handshake, but they had no hands. After thinking about it I used my fist to bump her hoof and that seemed to satisfy her.

I still don’t trust you, Locky… I’ll keep you too in my book of grudges for now. I frowned at her for the most part of our interaction, I actively tried to, because these creatures were so adorable it was easy to get lost in that groove and forget about mind reading aliens.

When it became too awkward, she finally decided that enough was enough and left me to my own devices. And speaking of devices! Yes… still secured under my bed. Still no signal.

***

Princess Twilight had to catch up with a lot of stuff, especially with the friendship lessons for Starlight Glimmer. Because of that, the creature was left to himself for the most part of the day. At this point, Twilight realized that she wouldn’t be able to teach the being how to talk and at the same time keep up with the lessons for Starlight and… all the other princess stuff that was starting to come. And a presentation Princess Celestia asked Twilight to do in Canterlot. So, the following day went as usual for her, nothing relevant or different to talk about, just stressful.

She had been able to teach the creature some maths, and that was probably because he seemed to already know them, but any attempt at teaching him anything else was frustrating. They were able to teach him a few words and that took too much time and work. Neither of them were actual teachers, well, maybe Twilight kind of was becoming one, but more like a high level teacher, not one to teach someone who couldn’t even talk. She wasn’t a language teacher either, they needed a specialist in the matter.

Cheerilee was the mare they needed. Her special talent was teaching and she worked as the ponyville’s teacher for foals of all ages. Most certainly she would be able to take care of the creature. Gosh, they needed to give it a designation, or a name, or something like that because ‘the creature’ was getting old very quickly.

That same day, before getting lost in her duties, Twilight couldn’t resist, and after breakfast, she went into the library to reshelve all the books that she had used the previous days. While doing that, she decided to mentally gather all the information she already had about the creature. In her research frenzy she had missed a couple of obvious clues that would lead her to new paths.

Minotaurs, centaurs and other creatures like catfolk and other biped beings from overseas seemed to have something in common, but the original root was lost to the sands of time. Maybe this creature came from the same branch of ancient beasts. He was like a minotaur without the bull part, and looked like a centaur without the equine part. On the other hoof, he had some similarities with monkeys or apes.

After lunch, Twilight had a session with Starlight Glimmer to review her progress, and she would be very busy with all the new assignments. In the afternoon, after Twilight had compiled her thoughts, she decided to call the creature ‘Apetaur’ for now, and she went to his room with the intention of taking him to Cheerilee. She had a lot of bureaucracy to catch up to, so she would be unable to investigate any more for a couple of days.

Twilight gently knocked three times on the room’s door. A sudden noise of scrambling was the response for a few seconds until the door burst open and the apetaur smiled awkwardly down at her.

*Hello.* Twilight greeted him very slowly and waved a hoof at the same time.

*Hello.* He repeated.

*Go outside.* Twilight tried to explain pointing at the exterior through the window. He looked at the window with a puzzled expression, then back at Twilight.

*Come.* Twilight motioned for him to follow. *Go outside to meet a pony*

*…to meet a…?* He repeated part of the phrase, mostly butchering the harmonics, but still looked clueless.

*Go outside. Other pony.* Twilight tried to oversimplify her phrase and it started to lose meaning even for her.

*Walk.* She said while pacing in circles. *Outside.* And then pointed to the exterior through the window.

Finally the apetaur produced a sound of realization and seemed to understand what she was saying. She smiled and started to walk away towards the door, only to realize that he was not following her.

“Let me get ready.” He made some of his complex noises without any harmonic pattern and then went to the bathroom and closed the door.

Twilight groaned in frustration. *Gah, stallions are always the same…*

***

Purplesmart kind of told me that she wanted to go out with me, so I went to the bathroom and made myself presentable. At least as much presentable I could be after a few days without shaving and without deodorant or any other supply. Anyway, I washed myself a little bit and put on one of the outfits that Squiggletail made for me.

We went through the quaint town. The ponies there were already going back home after a day of work and hardly noticed me. The ones who did though, stayed as far away as possible from our path.

We arrived at a cute little schoolhouse. It was a relatively small building, hardly bigger than a regular house and had a little playground as a garden. Purplesmart knocked on the door.

After a minute or so, just as the purple mare was going to knock again, the door opened, leaving Purplesmart with a hoof raised and knocking on the air. A dark pink pony with a two-toned hair that was just two shades of pink slightly lighter than her fur coat was on the other side, she looked at us with bright green eyes. For the shape and size, it looked like a girl-pony.

The mare smiled tiredly at Purplesmart and greeted her, and then she wearily looked at me with a questioning look. After that, they chatted a bit in their language, way too fast for me to understand. The new mare’s smile was getting more and more awkward, taking fast glances at me from time to time as the purple winged unicorn explained something to her.

After a few minutes exchanging pony words, Purplesmart asked a question and Smiley nodded, still smiling awkwardly. After that, the purple mare waved at me and turned away. I tried to follow her but she stopped me and pushed me back a little with a hoof, then pointed at the other mare.

*Goodbye.* Purplesmart said, then she trotted away, leaving me behind with just the other unknown pony. Smiley frowned at the other mare as she walked away. When she disappeared from sight, she sighed, then closed her eyes in concentration and suddenly looked back at me, smiling again.

The subtle bags under her eyes, her slightly messy mane and an almost imperceptible eye twitch indicated that she was not okay with this.

I just noticed the small roundish dust mark clearly visible on my dark clothes, where Purplesmart had pushed with a hoof. I awkwardly rubbed it with a hand to distract myself.

Sighing she lowered her head and motioned me to enter her house. She was obviously uneasy about me because she kept shooting nervous glances back as if I were going to attack her or something.

Smiley (She had a trio of smiley flowers for butt marking) made me sit in a worn off couch and went to another room. The interior of her house was slightly messy. There were some dirty bowls on the table and the surfaces were quite dusty. Also, there were a lot of papers everywhere, in addition to open books here and there.

She prepared some kind of drink and drank it quickly in one go, then she set the mug on the kitchen counter and groaned slightly, did it smell like coffee? After that, she took a nervous glance at me and when she noticed that I was looking back at her she smiled awkwardly. It was definitely a fake smile.

We went through a short corridor and arrived at a quaint happy go lucky classroom with a lot of tiny chairs and desks. Their regular furniture was already too small for me, so their extra small furniture for foals was too much, kind of ridiculously uncomfortable for my size. Mumbling something unintelligible, she went into her home again and came back with a regularly small chair for adult ponies that I could use in a reasonably uncomfortable way.

I realized that she was one of the normal kind of ponies, the ones without horn or wings. As she had no horn, she couldn’t wingardium-leviosa the chair and brought it with her mouth, and finally, she pushed it with her muzzle until she was satisfied with where it was.

The arrangement was similar to the one in the library or in my room. She was on one chair and I was on another, one in front of each other so that we could see what the other was writing. The regular one to one session set up.

Once she finished with the arrangement and sat on her chair, she cleared her throat and suddenly she was all cheerful again, though I could see how tired she was and how she didn’t like the idea of having to give me lessons. Probably she was still a little bit scared of me, because she was quite twitchy and jumpy at every movement I did, just to return to her smile every time, but a little bit more awkward.

Smiley opened a textbook that looked like it was designed for little children and started to go through the simple pictures in it, showing me what was what and how to say it and sometimes even write it.

I was more concerned about her wellbeing; therefore, the class wasn’t very productive. She didn’t want to teach and I was worried about her, and her always cheerful tone was sometimes too artificial and awkward.

After a couple of hours of awkwardly happy suffering, the doorbell finally rang. Purplesmart had returned to pick me up and go back to her castle. The happy and oblivious mare was waiting in front of the door. She greeted both of us and then motioned me again to follow her.

As I was walking away, I looked back at the pink mare. Sneakily gesturing at Purplesmart when she wasn’t looking, I put a hand on my brow and shook my head in an exasperated way to show how frustrating this mare was sometimes. Smiley seemed to catch the meaning of the gesture, as she snorted half amused, smirking genuinely for the first time.

Also, while Purplesmart wasn’t looking I checked my phone in the short walk back to the castle. Still no signal.

Author's Note

Well, here we go. They count in base four, that solved the little mistery. Now we can go back to the fluff.

Even more progress! Now ponies have a designation for him, and we got him to meet the cheery teacher! I get to finally justify the Cheerilee tag this story has.

16- At least Yellowings is back... kind of... maybe?

It was very early in the morning, barely a few minutes after the time Celestia raised the Sun. Twilight though was up and about, walking down the path to Fluttershy’s house. The yellow mare was back from her trip to Las Pegasus, although she was so tired yesterday from the whole experience that she didn’t show up in the castle to pick up the apetaur. Well, Twilight was about to find out because she needed her right now to take care of him again.

Twilight had really been behind her schedule and today she was required to go to Canterlot in order to give some presentations. Celestia wanted her to give the students a quick overview of the history of enchanted objects in Equestria, moreover, she needed to catch up with Starlight Glimmer’s lessons. She was an amazing student and her magic abilities were impressive, although, Twilight was starting to worry about the friendship lessons, and that matter needed to be addressed as soon as possible.

Long story short, she was going to be away in Canterlot and Starlight Glimmer was going to be busy socializing with Twilight’s friends, and the young alicorn was still uncomfortable about leaving the apetaur alone for the whole day. He had no magic and was probably vulnerable if something happened. Without anyone to bring him food, or take care of his needs, she was uncomfortable. At the very least, he was a guest, and she didn’t like the idea of leaving him to his own devices in the deserted castle. That’s the reason why she needed to make sure that Fluttershy would be taking care of him again, at least for a day.

“Hey, Twilight!” A particularly raspy tomboyish voice greeted Twilight from above, interrupting her train of thought.

“Hey Rainbow, how come you are up and about this early in the morning?” Twilight replied.

“Fluttershy has been to Las Pegasus and I wanted to hang around for a little while to ask her how it was. And probably she needs help with her animals and that weird creature.” Rainbow answered. “I’m kind of curious.”

Rainbow landed and they both walked the rest of the way to the cottage. In spite of the early hour, Fluttershy was in her garden, taking care of the early morning birds that came for their dairy rations of food.

“Hey Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash greeted the timid pegasus with her typical energy, scaring some birds away in the process.

“Um… hi Rainbow. And hi to you too, Twilight.” Fluttershy responded, noticing her visitors.

“Hello, Fluttershy, how is it going?” Greeted Twilight.

“A little bit tired, but fine. Las Pegasus was kind of exhausting.”

“I bet it was awesome.” Rainbow interjected.

“Um… maybe?” Fluttershy shied a little bit away from Rainbow’s enthusiasm.

“Uh… actually… Fluttershy, sorry to be so direct, but I came here to ask you a favor.” Twilight said.

“Uh? Of course, Twilight. What is it?” Asked Fluttershy, tilting her head to one side.

“Remember the creature you rescued from the Everfree? I would like you to take care of him again for a day or two while I’m busy catching up with my chores.” Twilight asked.

“Of course! I was planning to go to the castle right after I finished with my lovely birds here! Oh, I can’t wait to see Mr. Handy again! The poor little thing…” Fluttershy answered in excitement.

“Oh, and while you and Applejack were away, Starlight Glimmer and me did some interesting discoveries about him.” Twilight added.

“Um… What discoveries?” Fluttershy asked with a puzzled expression and her head adorably tilted.

“Apart from how adorable, nice and cute he is?” Rainbow rudely interrupted, snickering a little.

“We have discovered that he is a sapient being, just like ponies, maybe from a very far away civilization that even Equestria hasn’t heard of…” Twilight explained.

“That’s impossible! Pegasi have explored the whole world already! We haven’t found anything like it! Maybe he is just very smart.” Dash objected.

“At least that you know, Rainbow… But I think you aren’t the brightest expert in Pegasus History…” Twilight teased, making Rainbow remember her struggles with the History lessons to get into the Wonderbolts.

“Whatever!” Rainbow grumped, blushing slightly.

“Anyways… The point is that he is probably a stranger from a faraway place, so far that even Equestria hasn’t discovered it yet. He can’t speak because he doesn’t know the language, and that’s why he was learning some words from you, Fluttershy, and now he is learning from all of us and I asked Cheerilee to help him too.” Twilight explained.

“S…s…so… he is…” Fluttershy hesitantly stuttered.

“We have still a lot to investigate about him, but everything points us in the direction that maybe he is in reality a foreign stallion that belongs to a species and culture never seen before!” Twilight concluded.

“A… s… ssss… sta…” Fluttershy blushed at the particular way Twilight worded the situation.

“Uh… So, Fluttershy, you got him to bed the very first day you found him… Wow… that was fast.” Rainbow teased. “And me telling somepony she is fast is quite something…”

“Bu… bu… but I thought he was a lost critter, and he was ill and cold so I just used my body warmth to… to… It’s not like I… I…” Fluttershy turned into a trembling blushing ball.

“Rainbow…” Twilight warned, realizing how difficult this had become for the timid mare all of a sudden.

“…To warm up his body…” Rainbow continued between fits of giggles and snorts. ”Oh dear… Didn’t know you had such a liking for foreign and exotic stallions! Like they say, it’s always the quiet ones!”

Fluttershy ran into her cottage and closed the door, the lock clicking in place just afterwards. Rainbow Dash fell to the floor in a fit of laughter, Twilight deadpanning at her, a slight blush on her own face.

“Great…” Twilight mumbled.

“’Oh, dear… ‘And his paws felt so amazing!’ She told me the other day…” The blue pegasus continued rolling on the ground in laughter. Probably saying something Fluttershy told her, but out of context, obviously teasing.

“Rainbow!” Twilight scowled, stopping the laughing mare in the middle of another roll. Then she pointed at the closed door of the cottage.

“Oh… sorry about that…” Rainbow snickered, wiping away her tears with a fetlock.

“Now we are going to have to fix this too…” Twilight said, trotting to the door and knocking it gently.

“GO AWAY!” Came the distraught voice of Fluttershy.

“What are we going to do now?” Twilight asked.

“Uh… didn’t you have to go teaching Starlight something and go to Canterlot to do some egghea… err… stuff?” Rainbow asked.

“RIGHT!” One of Twilight eyes twitched. “Oh no, I’m going to be late… no no no nonono… And I still need to find someone to take care of the apetaur… Not this again… DASH! YOU APOLOGIZE!” Twilight pointed at Rainbow, then at the closed door, and then galloped away.

“Oh, boy… okay…” Rainbow snickered, then breathed deeply to calm herself and knocked on the door. “Fluttershy, it’s me, Rainbow Dash… err… you know I wasn’t serious when I said all that stuff… it was just…” Dash couldn’t help but snicker again to herself. “…A joke…”

***

Cheerilee was having breakfast as every morning. Simple coffee and some toast, nothing too fancy. Today she was going to really make an effort to cope with everything, with the help of some extra coffee.

In about one hour, the classes would start, and she needed to be at 100% of herself, her students didn’t deserve any less, and it was not their problem that she was so stressed out with her life in general, problems and situations to think about later, not now, now there was coffee to be had. If she was lucky, she would be able to grade all the exams the foals were going to do this morning, yes, she would do it this very afternoon, just before Princess Twilight appeared with that weird and gigantic creature.

All she wanted was this half an hour for herself, this tiny moment to relax before she had to go to class. A nice cup of an expensive imported blend of coffee, one of the few luxuries that she still could afford, and nothing at all could disturb her right now, the foals weren’t coming to the school in at least half an hour from now, and…

The doorbell rang.

The sound startled Cheerilee in the middle of sipping her drink and sent her into a coughing fit.

After recovering and wiping away a dark streak of her drink that had managed to come out of her left nostril, the mare headed towards the door. It can’t be, it can’t be… It just…

It was.

There, standing proudly and smiling widely was the princess and that… weird creature. The same creature that she agreed to give classes yesterday, but they weren’t supposed to show up until six in the afternoon, why? Why were they here just now? First hour in the morning?

“Good morning, Cheerilee.” Twilight greeted in that way-too-happy tone she gets when she is nervous but pretends that everything is alright.

“Uh… hey, Twilight…” The teacher tried her best to hide her discomfort.

“I have a really urgent matter to talk to you about.” Continued Twilight, more seriously.

“Oh… kay? What is it?” Cheerilee asked, fearing the answer.

“I’m far behind schedule and I need to catch up on a lot of things. The lessons for Starlight Glimmer, some chores and most importantly, I have to go to Canterlot to give a presentation… and, well, long story short… I need you to keep an eye on the apetaur today.” Twilight explained.

“Bu… but I have to work at school, the classes, the foals…” Cheerilee tried to talk herself out of the problem.

“Don’t worry, he is intelligent and won’t cause any troubles, I just need you to check if everything is alright from time to time. I’m just uncomfortable about leaving him alone the whole day yet.” Twilight continued. “Oh, and you can also give him his lessons once you have finished at school, I will be right back to pick him up this afternoon.”

“But… The… I won’t… FOOD! I have no idea what kind of food I need to give him!” Cheerilee was desperate to find a reasonable excuse in the eyes of Twilight, she couldn’t tell her outright no, she was a princess after all.

“Oh, right…” POOF! After a quick teleport, there was a bag of varied fruits and baked goods in front of her.

“Uh… what!?” Cheerilee eloquently asked.

“He should be okay with this. Just give him some apples and bananas, he eats those.”

“Oh… kay… but… You just said he is intelligent; he is probably going to be okay if a day is all you have to…” If the creature was so intelligent, he didn’t need to get a babysitter…

“This is really important, Miss Cheerilee, he is the only one of his kind we know of! We need to keep an eye on him!” but Twilight didn’t look like she was in a good mind state for reasoning. That mare still needed to learn a lot about stress management.

“Yes, princess… I suppose I can do that…” Cheerilee sighed, looking to the ground.

“Brilliant! I will be back this afternoon, goodbye!” And just like that, Twilight trotted away merrily.

Cheerilee looked up at the ‘apetaur’ as Twilight called him. He had just taken a weird rectangular device in his paws and was checking something, and with a mild disappointment he put it back in his pocket.

Author's Note

Twilight is still stressed out, it will pass, but for now, she having to go to Canterlot in that episode is the perfect excuse to get our human to interact a little bit more with other ponies appart from Fluttershy, who is going to be mostly out of the picture for now because of Dash.

The more I get the human interacting with Cheerilee, the better he is going to be talking in pony language.

And well, now you see why ponies thinking he was an animal was kind of needed at the beginning. Cuddles with Fluttershy were a thing I wanted to write but couldn't really find a way to get unless she thought he was a lost animal, so there is that.

We need to get Fluttershy kind of distant, we don't want to make certain draconequs jealous, do we?

17- At least I got to be useful

I was starting to worry about Smiley. Purplesmart didn’t seem to read the other mare and just kind of asked her to take care of me… Oh dear, I was probably the source of all her overtime right now. We came into her house, her head low as we walked, and then she sat on the worn couch and continued with her half-eaten breakfast.

*Hungry?* She asked, pointing at her food and then at me, smiling for a moment.

*No, thanks.* I smiled back and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

She resumed eating in awkward silence for the rest of the time. When she finished, she went to the bathroom and groomed herself with a brush. The fact that she could grab it with one single hoof was one of the most curious things to watch. I already knew the trick of the slightly flexible underside of their hooves though, but still…

*… Stay… me go to… you wait. Did you understand?* Smiley said. Some of the meaning of her song was lost on me, but the ‘Did you understand?’ despite being a complex phrase for my level, she had been using it so many times during her class yesterday that I had figured it out. And the rest of the talking/singing was easier to get as she pantomimed with her hooves.

*Okay. Me stay* I answered. At least this pony was easy to read by her gestures, not as easy as Yellowings, but a far cry from how awkwardly Purplesmart seemed to pantomime.

She got some books and study material from a few different places and went through the door that led to the school. And just like that, I was left relatively alone.

If this was something like how it was with humans, she would be away for at least a couple of hours until the playtime for the foals came. I had absolutely nothing to do, and I kind of felt bad for the poor Smiley, so I decided to help her somehow.

The house was slightly messy, but not overwhelmingly so. It was more like the kind of messy that comes because of a busy person that didn’t have enough time to clean up properly. I could help with that.

After some minutes of exploration, I found some cleaning supplies. A broom, a bucket and some pieces of cloth. I started brushing up the whole house. I kept finding pink hairs in the dust I swept, and I found it kind of adorable. Taking one of them and examining it closely I found no dye marks, it was completely pink from root to tip. It felt unnatural, yet I couldn’t find any evidence of it. Natural pink hair, huh…

It took me around half an hour because apart from the school, the house wasn’t very big. I had a lot of time left.

Smiley had left in a hurry, so the dirty bowls, dishes and silverware were still on the table. I took them away to the sink, where I found some more dishes to wash, and then I busied myself with that. The stuff for cleaning them was easy to find, it was just in a cabinet near the sink.

Apart from that, I thought about cleaning up in general and organize the papers and books, but as I didn’t understand them, in addition to not knowing how she liked to organize her stuff, I decided to leave it as it was and just took a look at them. They were mostly what looked like simple math exercises. Despite being simple, they were in base four, therefore I didn’t understand them right away. I needed to practice a little bit in that base.

I sat on the couch again, with nothing else to do, so I decided to look for a pen and paper and practice some. These simple operations were perfect to help me getting used to this base. As I was going to attend to Smiley’s class, I had some paper and a pencil with me that I got from Purplesmart.

Suddenly, something silvery caught my eye at the bottom of my backpack. Could it be? After some rummaging, I got it, it was a fountain pen. I liked those pens and used to carry at least one around all the time. Maybe it was silly to carry one of those for hiking, but probably I put it in there sometime I used the backpack for something else and then forgot.

It was something cheap, nothing too fancy, and I liked the stainless-steel ones because they were durable. This one in particular was dried out after being forgotten there for so much time, but it seemed that it would be functional after a proper cleaning. I knew ponies used bottled ink and quills, so I could look for an appropriate ink to put in this pen.

Because of not having ink, I set on using the pencil and started working in some math operations. It was actually pretty simple, I just needed to count in base four and I had the solutions because the exercises were already done.

When the panting mare came trotting into the room I was immerse in the simple calculations and already had a good grasp on the concept. She came to a stop and looked around, then back at me. By the uncertain expression on her face, there was something odd for her. Finally, she realized it and pointed at me with a hoof and said something that I didn’t understand.

“Uh… what?” I asked in my own language.

*You?* She pointed at me and then at the clean dishes in the kitchen. *Dishes?* Then she gestured around. *Floor?*

So… I guess those rhythms and tones meant ‘dishes’ and ‘floor’ if her pointing hoof was something to go by..

*Yes.* I smiled, understanding that she was asking about the chores I had done for her.

The mare suddenly blushed… Through the fur… looked down and pawed the floor with a hoof, her ears flip-flopped, like they were unsure of what to do.

*How… Are you?* I asked a little bit concerned.

*Fine! Fine! Thank you.* Smiley looked up, almost startled by the sound of my voice. Then she looked around and her ears went flat, again with her weird behavior.

*Thank… you…* She said through gritted teeth, forcing a smile. She looked angry… she snorted and turned around, mumbling something in her language. She looked back at me from time to time, blushed, made a frustrated stomp on the floor with her hoof, shook her head and continued.

Weird pony girls…

She took an apple and drank some water before darting away again to keep an eye on the pony children. I spent the rest of the time doing some math. Despite not being the best entertainment, I kept telling myself that this could be useful in the future and was part of my training.

Luckily, I brought my own food, something that Purplesmart had packed before we came here. My lunch consisted on some apples, bananas and baked goods, and I even got enough of them to share with the teacher mare in the lunch break just in case. Huh… yep, the same bag Purplesmart teleported in front of the teacher while they were having their little conversation, for some reason.

All the baked goods were made with integral flour, they looked like cupcakes and other desserts, and had a taste that screamed ‘homemade’. I almost thought that they were even healthy for me, because of the large amount of dietary fiber they contained. I had no idea where they were made, but I needed to find out. The kind of baked goods that you could find in a local bakery in little towns but with a slight pony style aftertaste. Probably they had some hay in them.

When the children went back to their homes, a very tired looking mare came to the living room and kind of crashed on the couch. After a few seconds she yawned and stretched a little, but perked up immediately and looked at me. Despite her cheerful appearance, I knew it was a professional mask and that very mask was starting to crack already.

I had a little stack of papers with their base four math already finished, and those caught her attention. She went through them quickly, stealing glances in my direction from time to time. I had a part of them in their own pony numbers, in addition to a few of them, which were the first ones I did, done with conventional 0, 1, 2 and 3. Those ones got her to scrunch her face in confusion, although after going back and forth she realized they were my numbers.

After that, she brought a stack of papers and started to check them. I paid close attention to what she was doing, and that caused her to take some awkward glances at me from time to time. By the look of how she was going through the papers and occasionally writing down some corrections I deduced those were some kind of exam. I found adorable how she put the marks in base four and they were graded from 0 to 4, which resulted in that very mark looking like it was graded from 0 to 10. I ended up helping her correcting the exams.

Once the job was done, we relaxed a little on the couch. It would be a good moment for an idle conversation, but I lacked the language skill to do so, therefore she settled for teaching me whatever word came to her mind in order to communicate simple things. She said, for instance, that indeed we were correcting a math exam for the pony children, and then I learned the words ‘wrong’, ‘right’ and ‘exam’.

Purplesmart came to pick me up in the afternoon with her little lizard assistant. I had learned basic math and some additional sparse words today, not bad at all despite the relaxed class on the couch. Of course, the purple menace wanted to know everything I had learned today and asked a lot of questions. Most of them didn’t make sense to me at all, but I did my best to answer them with simple words while we walked our way back to the tree castle. She got half confused because she wasn’t understanding and half frustrated because I wasn’t getting most of the stuff she said.

And… The tree castle was kind of a mess.

I had no idea where all the water came from. Was the plumbing broken or something? The whole castle was wet and inside something like a dark cloud. In addition, the furniture was out of place and some items were broken. A nasty smell was coming out of the kitchen and the icing on top of the cake were a few random animals wandering around. It was the perfect mess by definition as it was described in some children stories. Whatever happened in here, I was glad I wasn’t there when it happened.

Purplesmart seemed upset and scowled at Smartylocks, they exchanged some conversation, way too quickly for me to get any meaning from it. Then, she gave instructions to the small lizard and he took Smartylocks and me back to the library.

Yep, it was a mess. I had to carefully avoid stepping on anything. Really, how did they manage to turn the fricking stairs into a swallow waterfall? Was it raining inside? Yes, yes it was. There was definitely a mist, like a fog all over the place. From the outside it looked like a cloud had collided with the castle and stayed there, filling it all with moisture.

We got into the library and sat down on the available furniture. The little lizard grabbed a broom and started to panic-clean the place in hopes of being able to make any difference, but the scale of the task was beyond him.

After half an hour, Purplesmart came back and had another conversation with Smartylocks, then she pointed at me and I flinched. Sorry, but no, I had no idea what was going on.

But the purple unicorn then went to me and called for my attention with an expression of a mix of sadness and regret. She put a hoof on my shoulder again and asked something that I didn’t understand. After an awkward pause, she looked frustrated, got up from the spot she was sitting on and began to pace back and forth, deep in thought.

*Angry, scared* She said those words, then he got the pictures she had used previously from the library and pointed at the corresponding ones to help me understand. Then pointed at me, then pointed at her horn, and then made a gesture resembling a reverence.

“Uh… what?” I asked in plain English.

*Scared, angry* Then her horn began to emit light and she pointed at it, then pointed at me with a hoof.

“Oh, the thing you do with your horn.” I pointed at my head.

She pointed at her horn, then at me, then she lowered her head and made sure to let me see a sad face. Then she put her front hooves together and made a reverence in a kind of pleading gesture.

“What is this all about?”

*Day, neigh* She said, but the second sound was unknown to me.

*Day?* I asked.

*Day* Then she gestured like she wanted me to look behind her.

“The day… behind… Oh! You mean yesterday!”

She tilted her head. Of course, she didn’t understand me.

*Day back, you, angry scared, me* Then she pointed at her horn and then at me again and repeated the pleading gesture.

“Oh… you are… You are sorry about what you did the other day with your horn!” I finally understood.

I grabbed one of her hooves and lifted it from her pleading gesture and gave it a gentle pat with my hand. “Now I understand. Okay, I forgive you. I suppose you don’t understand me, but…”

She smiled timidly, almost hopefully. I smiled back and nodded. Nodding seemed to carry the same meaning to them. She seemed to understand, because she cheered up immediately.

And just like that, we were cool. And Purplesmart was hiding in a corner, taking notes of the whole ordeal. Seriously, what’s going on with that girl…

Purplesmart said something to the lizard and he took me back to my room. I got a little wave of apprehension as my solar pannel and charger were still on the windowsill, but the window itself was closed, and the room locked. Apart from a little bit of moisture coming from under the door, the place seemed intact. The power bank was fine and still recharging slowly. I left my backpack with all the important stuff and relaxed a little on the bed, but I got bored and the sun was still up in the sky, it was too early to go to bed. I considered the possibility of taking a shower, but decided against it. I ought to help those poor ponies a little to clean the castle. After all, I was living in here for free.

I went downstairs and helped with what I felt comfortable. Mostly cleaning up the soiled floor, and there was enough floor to clean to get floor-bored. Luckily enough, there were a lot of ponies helping and, in the end, it wasn’t that hard.

Apart from that, I had a weird encounter with Yellowings. I was delighted to see her again, but she kind of backed away from me. When I waved at her she waved back with a shaky hoof and a blush, and then the rainbow one came flying lazily around and snorted in amusement. Whatever it was, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back and Yellowings ran away.

Squiggletail, the pink one and an orange one were there too. Thanks to the cheating ponies with their ridiculously small wings and the wingardium-leviosa-ing of the unicorns and the PPC (Perfect Purple Cheater), the job was done surprisingly fast and we still had some time left before sunset.

All the ponies who took part in the cleanup gathered on the top floors of the castle. It was a nice balcony with a little Jacuzzi of some sort with a weird fountain that made water go up and down in a circle, the droplets making a rainbow effect with the sunbeams. It was strangely warm and the skies seemed to be clear in a specific location as to get the sun beams directly at us. I tested the water and it was slightly warm, so it was comfortable to take a bath, and it felt like the right thing to do after the cleaning.

I got back to my room and changed into my summer clothes. When I arrived again in the balcony, I took off my t-shirt and took a bath wearing my shorts. That got me a few weird glances and a scowl from Squiggletail, but I didn’t care.

It would be lovely to have a conversation, but I didn’t know enough of their language to understand, and we all kind of fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the murmur of the water.

Today was a weird day, but I got to learn many things, and interacted a lot with the locals. That seemed like progress to me. As I went back to my room, I got ready for bed while the sun was doing its thing of suddenly hiding behind the horizon (Still in my book of grudges for that). As I wouldn’t get any more charge today, I turned on the phone and checked it. For the surprise of absolutely no one, still no signal.

Author's Note

Another update. I was going to skip this week, but it seems the more stressed out I get, the stronger the urges to write are. After taking into consideration some of your comments, I edited this slightly to emphatize how the human is learning the language. I'll probably add my thoughts about it in a blog later on.

As for this chapter... Well, you can guess this happens in the "Every Little Thing She Does" episode, I believe is called. Kind of wanted the human to remain an outsider to this, and in general to anything related to the show, but I want it to still happen in the background, so I'm using the background as my foreground... kind of.

Also, Cheerilee is embarrassed because the human cleaned up her stuff, if that wasn't obvious. In a RGRE what kind of mare would let a guest stallion do HER chores... What does that say about her!? She is having that train of thought and she doesn't like where it goes. She needs to be an example, after all.

18- Breakdown... at long last.

There were a few relaxing days of routine. Nothing interesting happened (knock on wood, these ponies are crazy). For a week I did more or less the same thing. I got up when the sun did his thing, then had breakfast with Purplesmart and the small lizard, had some interaction with them, the purple pony would ask, or try to ask some questions and then I would be left alone to study the language. After lunch I got out for a walk. I was getting some freedom in that lately, and I needed to get some exercise and some fresh air. The locals were starting to get used to me, they wouldn’t panic anymore, some of them would even wave a hoof at me.

I was now able to say ‘hello’ to them and some basic words, some of them would answer back and to some extent, exchange a couple of phrases, but nothing too remarkable or interesting, as I mostly had to guess what they were saying to me and then the awkwardness used to kill the conversation. After that, I would go back to the castle and then to Smiley’s house for my daily classes.

The arrangement for the lessons was the same as the first one I got. I would come to her house, then she would take me to the proper classroom, bring a chair and teach me about some topic. I was starting to get the basics of their language, but for now, just a few sentences and some basic vocabulary that were the bare minimum to survive. Asking for directions, telling where did I live, ask for help, the name of the different items I could purchase at the market, how to say I was thirsty, hungry or feeling ill, market, store, hospital, restaurant, and so on.

Despite that being my daily routine, I was getting a very weird sensation, it was similar to that mounting pressure you get when you procrastinate an important issue, but I wasn’t sure what it was, and the irrational fear I got day after day was slowly but steadily increasing. In order to try to silence or drown that weird sensation I decided that I should also occupy myself in something else in my free time, something easy and familiar to put my mind into.

I started a little quest to find a good ink to put into my fountain pen. As I used to love those things, having yet another gadget from home ready and working would be very comforting. And useful too! No more open inkwells and dipping the tip of the quill every now and then while taking notes, no more silly pencils, I wanted my old trusty pen working again.

I went through the library and a few offices. I checked Smartylock’s room (with her permission and supervision) and Purplesmart’s bedroom (Gosh, that was awkward). I took a piece of paper and a quill, and then tested all the inkwells I could find and proceeded to check if the inks were water resistant. Most of them were, but a couple of them weren’t.

If they could be washed by water, I could probably wash them out of the pen to maintain it. Not the most scientific way to know if I could use the ink, and there were a lot of factors, but it was kind of good enough. After all, these ponies used quills, so, finding an ink formulated specifically for a fountain pen was impossible.

Both Purplesmart and Smartylocks were busy reading or studying, and the little lizard kept an eye on me through the whole process. I was going to head back to my room to test my freshly filled pen when something caught my attention in the library.

An Earth globe.

Suddenly I felt the urge to inspect it and an idea came to my mind. I could point home in the world and ask for directions!

I walked excitedly towards the object and started to spin it. It was a medieval looking thing, probably handmade and the maps were really crude, practically impossible to recognize. After a few minutes of inspection, I started to feel the rising fear inside of me again as the idea of asking where I was slowly faded away. It was all wrong! I couldn’t recognize the most basic thing of it, it was like a child had put some garbage on a globe!

I hadn’t noticed Purplesmart approaching from behind and she startled me despite the clip-clop of her hooves that announced her presence, I was too stunned to notice her anyways. Looking at me she asked something that I didn’t understand.

“This… this is all wrong!” I gestured to the offending globe.

She didn’t understand me either, but looked concerned about me because of my apparent agitation. After a few moments exchanging nonsense between the two of us I found a large piece of paper and drew a crude representation of a world map. Africa, America, Asia, Europe… Australia and all the things that came to my mind, and through the whole process, she watched attentively.

I pointed to a few locations and named them. Actually, I wrote the names on the paper just to get the point across, and then pointed at the offending globe. Something was very wrong about this whole thing. Something scared me, and I didn’t even want to acknowledge it, but in my mind all the pieces were coming together, despite something irrational telling me to stop, to not continue, to run away, but the pieces were already falling by their own weight and wouldn’t be stopped.

Carefully, Purplesmart went to the globe and started to do the same carefully, like if she expected me to become violent or something, she just pointed at random places and named them in their sing-songy language, looking back at me to see my reaction, she looked scared about me. Finally, pointing at one last location, she named that and pointed straight down, smiling proudly, puffing out her chest, but a little bit awkwardly, and her smile disappeared in a frown when she looked back at me. I tripped over my own feet and almost fell, but hastily came near her and took a look at the place she had just pointed.

Of course my phone couldn’t get any blasted signal, of course the bloody GPS wasn’t working… there were no antennas, there weren’t any satellites, and that was because this damned place was no Earth.

I kneeled down on the floor, my hands shaking. If this wasn’t Earth… Then where I was? Was I dead? Was this another universe, another dimension? Had I just hit my head and I was in a hospital and this was just a dream? All those thoughts came back to my mind, but the worst thing was that I couldn’t even discard a single one of them. This wasn’t a wild dream as I thought at the beginning, this wasn’t a febrile hallucination, as it could have been after the fever I had back then when Yellowings was taking care of me. This was real.

If this was real, then one thing became clear, this was a different planet, I wasn’t on Earth, so I had no immediate way to go back home by any normal means, therefore I was going to spend a lot, A LOT of time here. Unless I could find a magical way to go back. I was stranded here in this world of Technicolor tiny horses, and I was alone. What did I do to deserve this!? This was not fair!

I realized that some comforting warmth came through my shoulder. A purple wing was resting on my back and the purple pony looked at me, concerned and slightly confused. She probably didn’t understand what I had just discovered, and I needed to keep it together if I wanted a chance, as remote as it could possibly be, to get back home alive. Probably I wasn’t going to get back home at all, and panicking here was not going to help. Of course, I panicked anyways, I started to hyperventilate and feel sick, because I’m just me, a regular human, not a hero or an astronaut, and I just wanted to go back home.

I was crying, and suddenly I found myself protected by a purple feathery blanket. Purplesmart held me with her forelegs in what felt like a hug, providing support, and then her wings covered me, providing warmth. Now that I was knelt down on the floor, we were at similar heights. I rested my head on her shoulder and cried. I lost track of time, and cried until I felt kind of numb.

Why couldn’t this happen to another person? If I could get back, I wouldn’t mind losing my job, I could find another one and have a story to tell about my time here, that would even be nice. My job in exchange for going back home. I wanted to see my family again, I missed my parents, and my cousins, and my brother… If only I could go back, just enough time to tell them goodbye… Just that! At least I wanted them to know I was alive!

I couldn’t stay crying like that forever, I needed to do something, anything! I stood up on shaky legs and went to the big table in the middle of the library, where my crude drawing was. Purplesmart followed me closely, reminding me of Yellowings’ behavior, at least the first days. She seemed shocked, but at the same time confused, and deeply concerned about me.

Getting a new sheet of paper I drew the spiral silhouette of the Milky Way, then a little square in it and an arrow, like a little amplification, and drew the solar system. After that, another arrow pointed at the third planet and I drew a crude globe of the planet Earth, with enough continents and details to make it kind of comparable to the crude world map that I had just drawn.

The part of the milky way seemed to confuse Purplesmart, so I tried to draw a lot of dots representing the stars, and around some of those dots I drew some tiny orbiting planets. I didn’t know if I got the point across about what a galaxy really was, but the stars and planets got the purple mare excited and a hopeful expression replaced her shock. She darted around the library gathering books and after a few seconds an army of tomes were swirling around us in that wingardium-leviosa glowy thing she did with her horn.

Selecting a few books and opening them on certain pages in front of me, she took a quill and another piece of paper and pointing at the different pieces of pony writing gibberish and some illustrations, she drew a representation of her own view of the universe.

Given the amount of material I kind of expected some ground-breaking development, but it all came down to a simple geocentric model of universe, with the sun and the moon orbiting the planet and all the stars assembled on a dome around the three heavenly objects. When she finished her little lecture that I didn’t understand a single word of because I was in no mood to really be attentive, I looked at her work.

Welp, that was kind of disappointing, but also cute. She stood there proudly with her chest puffed, a confident smile and a ruffle of wings.

It made sense. Their appearance was kind of medieval, so probably their knowledge of the universe was also limited too. At least they didn’t believe the planet was flat. We could work something from there.

As an answer, I drew a more detailed version of the Earth’s orbit around the Sun and how the moon orbited around the Earth, and that got an eye twitch from her. She exclaimed some more pony gibberish and some books were replaced by others, and flicking through the pages she presented to me an illustration of the planet orbited by their Sun and Moon and what looked like two idealized ponies with both wings and horns doing the wingardium-leviosa to the Sun and Moon.

Welp, that was kind of bullshit. But Purplesmart probably had been studying it this way for her whole life. By the look of it, they still included some myths in their view of the universe. She wasn’t going to agree with me, and I knew for sure that she was wrong, so no point in continuing this discussion. Or was she? Wait a minute… that thing the sun did was kind of weird. I would continue this track of investigation that was presented to me in normal circumstances, but… I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt drained.

Still shaken as I was from the recent discoveries, I said my farewell as politely as possible. I needed some time alone, some time away from these ponies, the constant reminders that I was in a very wrong place. Purplesmart followed me and made sure I was alright until I arrived into to my room, bless her cute little adorable face. I told her I was alright, and she kind of got the message and gave me some space. I closed the door and when I was sure nobody was watching I crashed on the bed and punched the pillows, cried and curled into a ball until I fell asleep.

There was no need to check my phone anymore, I already knew the answer to this whole mess. I was never going to get a signal no matter what.

Author's Note

So, here we go. After some editing and as always taking into account the points made in the comments, we arrive in this moment. The breakdown was in the original writing, but I hope the editing of this emphasizes his mind state and connects better with his previous behaviors.

He was portrayed as a clever guy, but even clever guys can have some mind artifacts and coping mechanisms going on under extreme pressure or unfamiliar circumstances.

19- Welcome party attempt and some more clues... At long last.

There is one thing that you should never ever do. As bad as your situation is, never ever say to yourself that at least things can’t go worse, because the universe has a really nasty, sweet way to prove you wrong every single time.

Just as that very thought came to my head, I tried to chase it away, but it was too late. Just before I could thing about anything else, my door burst open in an explosion of noise and confetti. A very energetic pink monstrosity came inside bouncing and singing in an annoyingly high-pitched voice that made my head hurt. I locked the door last night, didn’t I?

While the pink mare was performing her dance and singing her annoyingly high pitched, loud and silly song, a few other beings from this damned place peeked at me from the door sporting wide hopeful smiles on their faces. I retreated back under the blankets and tried to block the sound with the pillow. It worked for a while, until I noticed the bed shaking.

The pink mare jumped on the bed and started to bounce up and down, making it slightly unstable. In my dazed state, I couldn’t manage to stabilize myself and fell to the floor just as the song came to an end and my face was hit by something, then I found myself rubbing my eyes to be able to see through a mass of what looked, smelled and tasted like cupcake icing, only to be greeted by the crazy smile of my attacker a few inches away from my nose.

Now that I thought about it… I needed a shave, and this cupcake cream would be a perfect substitute… all I needed now was a razor… a very, very sharp razor to… to…

I stopped my brain as I started to hyperventilate with murderous desires towards certain pink miniature horse. I stayed like that for a few seconds until the mare got tired of smiling at me and went out of my sight. I was left there, staring blankly at the wall.

Logic thinking.exe stopped working and emergency autopilot turned on. I got up and dragged my feet towards the bathroom as the ponies were arguing with the offending mare. I only got a glimpse of Purplesmart telling her something and an adorable sad puppy face from the pink one. I didn’t care.

I removed the icing from my face with water, then got more or less decently clothed and took a long look at myself. There I was, the same as always but in dire need of a shave. I didn’t pack a razor or any other shaving device, and the ponies didn’t look like they needed to shave, it didn’t make any sense at all. There were scissors at least, so I used those for some minutes with very limited success because my beard was long, but not long enough. Now I was looking like a castaway too.

The pink monster was waiting for me in front of the bathroom door. I was half expecting another assault, but she looked up at me with those puppy eyes, said something that sounded apologetic and offered me a box that I took. Then, she walked away and said goodbye to all the other horses.

I opened the box and discovered a bunch of cupcakes. They looked and smelled delicious, but I wasn’t in the mood for them. As usual, when I get extremely stressed or worried, I lose my appetite. The pink pony was watching from the door with expectant eyes. I suppose that she was trying to apologize with her gift and was expecting me to enjoy it or something, but I wasn’t up to it. I closed the box, gave her a sad smile and put the present on the night stand for later. She visually deflated and pouted, her curly hair and tail became limp and straight, like if someone had just poured water on her (the heck!?), but the others took her away and closed the door.

Once I was alone, I checked the phone for the last time. Still no signal… then I turned it off, gathered all the knick-knacks and put them away in a drawer. There was no need for them anymore.

***

“It didn’t work…” Twilight said.

“But Twilight! He is sad! I have neglected my duty! We need to throw him his welcome party! He will feel better! He will cheer up… He has to… I… we…” Pinkie tried to convince the rest of them, but she was deflating as she was talking.

“We had to try, but Pinkie, remember Cranky Doodle… He needed his personal space. A party isn’t always what somepony needs to cheer up.”

“But I… he was sad… I didn’t throw him a welcome party, my pinkie sense was telling me there was somepony new in town, but I didn’t realize it was him until it was too late! This is all my fault!”

“Aww… don’t be so hard on yourself, sugarcube. You tried to do the best you could.” Applejack tried to comfort the pink mare.

“I also love your parties, Pinkie, but they are not for everypony. Different ponies have different tastes and like to spend their time doing different things, you can’t be besties with absolutely everypony.” Starlight Glimmer interjected.

The party was something Pinkie Pie has pulled out of the blue. Her emergency supplies and hidden stashes of party material were gathered to put together the apetaur’s welcome party, but it seemed to the pink mare it wasn’t enough.

Sadly and slowly, they tidied up the small mess that was produced as a result, and all the confetti, streamers and balloons were put away. A very sad looking Pinkie Pie left the castle. Twilight hoped no more shenanigans would happen, but with Pinkie Pie you never knew for sure. For the time being, she decided to take care of the apetaur’s needs and give him some personal space to sort out whatever had come to his mind that got him all depressed. She wanted to ask, but she thought she would give him some time to recover. He wasn’t fluent enough in Harmonian to really explain his feelings, that was a huge setback, as his language skills were limited to simple words and concepts for now. She still kept watching over him and came back every couple of hours to check how he was doing, but with no apparent improvement.

Probably she could spend her time picking up again her investigations about the apetaur while she was watching him from a safe distance, that could probably help finding something that would help.

***

After that, I kind of lost track of time. I ate when it was time to eat, though half the amount of food I usually eat due to my lack of appetite. I slept a lot and only got up when the ponies came to visit, or when Purplesmart wanted to talk to cheer me up, but I wasn’t up to it.

I got to enjoy the cupcakes the pink pony brought me, they were really good, as I knew they were from previous experiences with the pony baked goods, but it was more like comfort food I ate, it felt good. Maybe the pink pony did something right after all.

I also entertained myself with my fountain pen. I always found it relaxing to use and tinker with it. I managed to make it work properly, adding some water to the ink for the quills because the original was kind of thick. I started to write some gibberish, took some books from the shelf and tried to imitate the symbols. Although learning to write is kind of though without a teacher, it served me well to distract my mind from the real problem.

Speaking of teacher… I should be going to Smiley’s classes, but today I didn’t feel like it, and Purplesmart didn’t press the issue, she just came, asked if I wanted to go, I told her no, and that was it. Probably a good thing for the poor teacher mare, she needed a break quite badly.

***

Fluttershy showed up and gave Twilight some suggestions about meals and ways to cheer the apetaur up, but when Twilight asked for help, she shied away and refused to meet the creature. By the look of it, Rainbow’s jokes had a greater impact on the timid mare than Twilight thought they would. It was a shame, they were such great friends. Maybe when the apetaur got better at speaking, and recovered from whatever he was going through, he could pay her a visit.

Speaking of his mental state, the sudden change in behavior happened after the conversation about planets and stars. By the look of it, the creature knew something about astronomy, but the information was all wrong. Probably somepony had tried to teach him some hard orbital mechanics and he couldn’t grasp it because his civilization wasn’t as advanced as Equestria, or he had some strong mythological believes or non-scientific traditions to explain things, so he was frustrated, or angry like the yaks when she showed him the truth. The globe of Equus was the element that had triggered the whole episode; therefore, it was related in some way…

Maybe she had just unintentionally shaken the foundations of his civilization’s beliefs and he was deeply in shock. She checked again her material about the way the different known cultures on Equus portrayed the universe, then looked back to ancient civilizations, but she couldn’t find anything relevant. Almost all of them weren’t advanced enough to care, or were battling to get the sun and moon under their control before the reign of Discord, and then, after that came the reign of the two sisters, Nightmare Moon, then her return… Nothing that could be relevant for her line of investigation.

Other races had slightly different visions, but nothing that was similar to what the apetaur has described. A spiral? An orb-world that orbited the sun, and the moon orbited the orb-world? This was unthinkable!

All the discrepancies about the universe different cultures and races had revolved around how to control the sun and moon, not questioning where they were, or how they moved, or what lays beyond them…

“Twilight…” Spike mumbled, but the alicorn was too deep in thought to acknowledge.

“Twilight?” Spike tried again a little louder with no response from the mare.

“Twilight!”

“Uh… huh… in a minute…” Twilight responded, but she continued reading and going over and over the same loop of thoughts as before.

“TWILIGHT!” Spike shouted, startling the alicorn out of her trance.

“Spike! You startled me! There is no need to shout!” Twilight scowled at the baby dragon.

“No… really there wasn’t…” Spike rolled his eyes, mumbling for himself sarcastically.

“What was that?” Twilight inquired, a slight eye twitch and a lock of her mane sprang out of place.

“Err… Nothing! It’s time for dinner… and you skipped lunch after all. I’m starting to worry about you. Is everything okay? You should take a break.” Spike explained.

“Oh… that…” Twilight’s stomach decided that it was the perfect moment to say its opinion on the matter, and she blushed a little.

Twilight and Spike had a late dinner in the library. A couple of sandwiches and a relaxing blend of tea, something easy and simple the dragon put together for them, as the rest of the castle was already asleep. It was well past Spike’s bed time, but he had been too worried about Twilight.

“Have you discovered something interesting, Twilight?” The dragon asked half-heartedly.

“No, Spike… It makes no sense, this line of investigation seems to be a dead end again, I couldn’t find any culture that remotely matches him.” Twilight responded in a sad and slightly frustrated tone.

“How is he doing?” Spike asked, more out of politeness than true interest, but it seemed the right thing to do.

“His mood is not getting any better, I’m thinking about sending him back to Fluttershy…” Twilight answered.

“Any idea about what’s the problem?” Spike asked after taking a bite of his sandwich.

Twilight explained in detail the theories she had thought before Spike interrupted her, how she thought it could be some kind of cultural shock because of his beliefs in how the universe worked and how primitive his attempts at giving her an explanation were in comparison to her astrology studies.

“Uh… maybe he is from the past…” The dragon theorized.

“Believe me, I have checked. From the first defeat of Discord to nowadays there aren’t any records of a civilization like that.” Twilight answered.

“And before that?” Spike asked.

“We have little to no records of the Pre-Discordian era, and those are typically legends, traditions and orally transmitted stories from pony to pony. We have the three pony tribes, some names and some approximated dates.”

“Aaaaand… before, before that?” Spike insisted as he started to clean up the leftovers of their late dinner in the library.

“We have some clues about how life was back then. Ponies lived in the wild and there were no such things as civilizations…”

“And… before, before, before that?” Spike smiled awkwardly.

“Really, Spike?” Twilight arched an eyebrow.

“I don’t know! I was just trying to suggest something.” Spike looked away. “It would be awesome anyways…”

“It makes no sense. In that period of time there were absolutely no records because ponies couldn’t even write. If they couldn’t write, how would it be possible for them to keep records of anything?” Twilight answered.

“But there are ponies who investigated and wrote books about them.” Spike walked towards the shelves and retrieved an old book. “Like this one!”

Twilight took the book and started to scan the pages, more out of habit than real interest, it was the thing she did every time a book landed on her desk. In a few seconds she went through all the pages, just deciding if it was worth reading or not.

“Hmmm… Archeological Discoveries about the Primordial Era… Not much here… It is just a catalogue of fossils and some findings. There are no records of ancient civilizations here, Spike, and ponies hadn’t developed any written language yet…”

“But they wrote something, look!” Spike pointed at some random cave paintings that the author of the book had replicated in the pages.

“Those are rock paintings, not really something written. Simple figures that kind of represented animals, creatures or just something they drew for fun.” She said as she flipped through the book. Suddenly, her brain made her stop and go back through the pages to a particular rock painting representation.

The brief explanation of the picture above was: ‘Nº 41 The Cave of the Primordial Friendship: A crude representation of various creatures of different nature sharing the same shelter. Archeologists have agreed on the identity of some of them, although there are other figures remaining unknown. Among the characters, a yak, a cow, a dragon and a primordial pony can be differentiated, whereas there are two of them that remain a mystery.’

Twilight looked at the picture with mild interest. True to the description there was a vaguely Yak shaped stain, a cow, a dragon and a pony, then another quadruped figure and a… biped one.

The biped one was what called Twilight’s attention. It had the right proportions and was carrying what appeared to be a stick in one of its upper limbs… How peculiar… Fluttershy had described how the apetaur used to grab a stick when he felt threatened… Very peculiar indeed.

Twilight turned the page and froze. There, marked as ‘Nº 42 Unknown claw marking’ was the exact shape of the apetaur’s claw. It was like if he had put his claw on the wall and somepony had sprayed that brownish gunk all over the place, leaving a cloudy stain except for a clear shape in the center of the image.

“Spike! I’ll need all the tomes of this collection and some ink and paper. I think I’ve found something important…”

Snores could be heard in the background. Turning around, Twilight found the baby dragon asleep on the floor. “Yes… I should take a break…” She said chuckling to herself as she yawned.

Author's Note

Well, lets do some of that thing called worlbuilding and stuff... we need something to contain the fluff after all. Let's get over with it now that the human is not in the mood for pets and ear scritches.

As always, thanks to point out any mistake you find.

20- Dealing with it... At long last.

A few days passed. The rest of the world continued its course without me, ponies went on with their lives, and Purplesmart kept checking on me every couple of hours, brought me food and tried to engage in small conversation, but I was in no mood, and I was unable to understand most things she said and she was not pushy about it, which I really appreciated. The rest of her friends visited a couple of times each and I just stayed in my room. Despite not doing anything I had no energy and felt tired, no motivation to do anything, I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t despite feeling sleepy all the time.

One day, both Purplesmart and Rainbow had something to do, and their butts were sparkling… which should disturb me, but I had worse things to worry about at the moment. The only important issue for me was that they were going to be away for a while, leaving Smartylocks in charge. Rainbow was wearing an olive-green jacket and was carrying some bags when she arrived, and she was not very happy about something, but Purplesmart seemed to cheer her up. Of course, I didn’t care so I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the predicament. At least they would leave me alone, or so I thought…

Apparently, they have decided beforehand that I should go to the teacher’s house again for more lessons, probably because Smartylocks was going to be busy again with her studies and they didn’t trust her completely to keep an eye on me after the previous episodes. Moreover, Yellowings was nowhere to be seen. Not that I enjoyed being treated like a pet or a child, but she was kind of nice, especially when you were feeling down.

Talking about being treated like a child. I could perfectly stay alone on my own, I didn’t need to have a babysitter all day, but in my current status I couldn’t find it in me to try to resist, I was on autopilot. On hindsight, probably it was exactly that what made them get to the conclusion I needed to be watched over. And for the surprise of no one, the chosen pony to keep an eye on me was the teacher pony, Smiley, again.

This time, when Smartylocks knocked on the teacher’s door, they exchanged some conversation, and Smarty seemed to realize the teacher’s mood and apologized for the inconvenience, the other mare smiled sadly and told me to come inside.

The awkwardness was as intense as always, the only difference was that instead of trying to avoid it and being polite and helpful, I didn’t feel like doing much and just slumped on the old sofa in the living room, we both wanted these lessons to be over as soon as possible and neither of us had the energy to hide it. Me because of my mental state and she, probably, because she was too tired after dealing with the pony children for the whole day. The house was as usual for Smiley, slightly messy, and she tried to take me to the classroom, but I was too tired and, after some nervous glances around at the coffee table covered in papers, the kitchen sink full of dishes and some other assorted items scattered around, she looked back at me and narrowed her eyes. I didn’t know what was going on, but I didn’t care. She seemed to relax a little at my lack of energy, so she put on a slightly forced smile and began her lesson.

“Hello, how are you today?” She asked, talking deliberately slow.

“Fine, thank you.” I answered with the learned formula, but my expression and intonation said the opposite of fine.

“Today, we learn about friends and family! Are you ready?” She announced with cheers, pumping a hoof in the air enthusiastically, but with that forced awkward aftertaste.

This particular subject felt like a punch in the gut, her fake enthusiasm was the icing on top of the cake, and the worst feelings that I’ve got these days came back with a vengeance. “…No… sorry…” Was the only thing I could muster.

A spark of anger crossed the mare’s features, but soon she calmed herself, snorted and looked at me with that expression that teachers use when they met a particularly wayward child trying to disrupt their classes. “Why no want classes?” She said arching an eyebrow at me.

“No fine.” I tried to say the formula for feeling fine, adding the word for ‘no’.

“Are you ill?” She asked, tilting her head to one side.

“No ill… but no fine.” I replied.

“Why no fine?” She asked, a little of puzzlement replacing her anger.

“Friends and family.” I replied.

“What?”

“Friends and family no see. Long time no home. No know how to… back home.” I tried to explain with the few words I already knew. She understood, because all her contained anger was slowly replaced by shock, she raised a hoof, unsure of what to do, then shifted hooves and finally looked down, her ears flat.

“I’m… sorry.” She said.

We spent some time in silence. I just sat there on the couch, looking at the wooden, slightly worn ceiling beams, and she just stared at the floor, scrapping it with a hoof from time to time, probably trying to decide what to do next. Slowly, she walked away and left me alone for some time, and then she came back with some material on her back and mouth. Then, she cleared the coffee table dropping everything on the floor and replaced it with what she was carrying.

“New lesson about (unknown horse noise).” She said while sorting all the items she had just brought and arranged them on the table. There was a globe of the planet, some paper, quills and maps. I didn’t understand the last part of her sentence, but probably it was about places.

And just like that, the lesson changed. She took the globe of this weird planet and started to teach me words about places. ‘Where are you from?’, ‘I’m from this or that place’, ‘I live there’ and other similar phrases. After a couple of hours, I had memorized some formulas and phrases to say basic stuff about this subject.

Finally, when she was happy with my level of Horseish, she asked directly at me “Where are YOU from?” pointing at me with a hoof, and then she offered me the globe and the maps to point the location.

“Not from here.” I said pointing at the globe, and she looked at me confused, but didn’t say anything.

Taking some paper, I drew the same diagrams as I did to Purplesmart before, but this time for Smiley, and her astonishment grew as piece by piece, I explained the universe again using my trusty fountain pen…

***

I felt terrible for him…

This creat… this guy was from another world or dimension, and we’ve been treating him like some strange creature… which he actually is, but nopony stopped and considered that he could be a lost creature with friends and family like any other pony!

I didn’t understand everything he told me, but a lot of what he drew on the paper described an orb-world like Equus, but in another place, with many other orb-worlds going around other orb-worlds and around themselves and… with some crazy princesses messing up the Sun and Moon position. That’s Twilight’s cup of tea… I’ll let her know and see if she can figure out what this guy has to say about his home place, or universe, or whatever. I’m a teacher, not a wizard or a scientist.

Twilight has been studying, analyzing and researching this strange being for a couple of weeks by now, and they didn’t have it figured out yet… You know why? Because nopony asked him directly…

Yay… go, Princess of Friendship…

There was an inside joke around Ponyville, and it was that Twilight’s title, Princess of Friendship, was actually a joke from Celestia. Twilight was always going to be Twilight, or just Twilight being Twilight was said a lot, especially by Spike.

Of course, nopony told her directly, but it was a thing every time Twilight messed up big time because of her lack of common sense regarding basic interactions with other ponies. But we still love her, of course, she is a hero and has good intentions after all.

Except when she showed up out of nowhere and dropped this guy here… like if I had nothing else to do in the world. At least Starlight understood that I was doing a lot of long hours recently.

Probably part of the problem was that he didn’t understand Harmonian, and we couldn’t communicate with him… Maybe Twilight was really doing the sensible thing sending him to me so he could learn the language and then communicate with us ponies. Maybe this whole situation was getting under my skin more than I thought…

And why was I so uncomfortable around him?

Well, he WAS a daunting creature, so tall and weird… and I was supposed to do my job, and teach him like if he was a foal? Truth be told, he was learning really quick. Not only that, but he had managed to learn our basic math system in a couple of days! That would take YEARS for a regular foal.

He was no foal after all, he was from a different society, and he was smart. His society should be really advanced if he could grasp so many new concepts in such a little amount of time.

The lessons were actually over for the day already, and here I was, exhausted, sad and confused. Well, yes, confused because what should I do with this guy? An alien stallion from another world who is depressed because he isn’t sure if he is going to see his friends and family again, confused and scared because our world should look bizarre to him. Yep, I had enough, I did the only thing a Friday evening after working long hours could call for…

I went to the pantry and took a look inside. “Berry Punch’s Double Buck Punch, my cousin’s specialty. I bought a couple of bottles from her because she was bankrupt, as always, after drinking all her money off. She brews some crazy stuff that would be worth quite some bits, but she ends up drinking most of it. And of course, I end up buying some alcohol from her as a way to keep her alive, taking away some booze from her liver and providing some bits for her to buy groceries.” I said it out loud, more to myself than anything, but I felt like keeping up the conversation no matter if he could understand me or not.

“And if you think my cousin Berry Punch is crazy, wait until you hear from my OTHER cousin… Cherry Berry. An earth pony mare with a passion for flying machines. Last thing I heard about her was that she got kidnapped by changelings because she was trying to fly a giant firework, somehow. Oh Celestia, I hope she is alright…”

Oh Celestia… the first bottle was almost empty… and I’ve been ranting out loud all my thoughts. Thank goodness the tall guy doesn’t understand most of it.

I took the mostly empty bottle and a couple of glasses and put them on the coffee table in front of the sofa. The creature was lost in thoughts and didn’t pay attention until I offered a glass of punch to him.

Oh, goodness… I was offering alcohol to a student, what kind of teacher I’ve become? No, not going there. This is a grown-up stallion and I’m a responsible mare, there is absolutely nothing wrong here.

He took the glass of punch, smelled it and took a taste. I raised my glass for a toast, feeling incredibly silly because he probably didn’t understand the gesture, but for my amazement, he actually did, and after that, we both drank our glasses in one go.

“Not fine.” I pointed at me with a hoof, sparking the curiosity of the creature.

“Not fine?” He asked, pointing a claw at me. “Why?”

“Tired…” I said, sprawling on the empty space of the sofa and making a dramatic act of exhaustion, panting with my tongue out like a dog. That actually got a chuckle out of him. “…Worried about my cousins…” I tried to explain, but realized that he didn’t have the words yet “…and bored.” I made a bored face.

“Sorry…” He said.

“No sorry.” I pointed at him. “Not your fault… Twilight should hire someone instead of dropping you at my doormat and asking me to do all the work while she goes on adventures. And my cousins are my cousins… you have nothing to do with them…” He looked at me with puzzlement.

“The bottle is empty… I’ll get the other one.”

***

It was getting late, way later than usual, and we had been drinking a little bit too much. I don’t usually drink, but today felt kind of special. Well, it’s been special ever since I got lost in this place, but you know… even more special today, because I was feeling really down and I needed something to cheer me up. Alcohol wasn’t usually my escape, but the slight buzz that made the existential terror recede a little was a welcome outcome, it made me feel more at ease. Running away from your problems with alcohol is not a healthy thing to do, but sometimes, it is worth to take a break before going back to work at full force. And this girl showed some empathy and seemed to understand a little bit my predicament.

We had been talking about places, but also a little bit about family. I wasn’t sure, but Smiley seemed worried about someone and feeling under the weather right now. She offered me a drink and we drank and relaxed together, but I was starting to worry about my caretakers. None of them showed up to take me home.

“When me go back castle?” I asked, slightly tipsy but still under control.

“Um… tomorrow. (unknown noise) is busy and me take care of you.” Smiley answered, talking slowly and pointing at her and me when she referred to each of us.

“Me sleep here?” I asked. Smiley looked slightly confused, tilting her head in an adorable way.

“Oh, yes! I show you! Come here.” She pointed at her and motioned for me to follow.

She took me to a bedroom, probably her bedroom by the look of it. Actually, her little house only had one, so that was it. She pointed at the bed, then got close to it and pulled the covers a little with her mouth, inviting me to take a seat, so I did.

“You sleep here.” She pointed at her bed, and I frowned a little.

Smiley rummaged in her slightly untidy closet, took a blanket and a pillow with her mouth and trotted out of her bedroom. I didn’t like the situation at all, after all she had done for me, it felt wrong to take her bed and let her sleep on the couch. I stood up and went after her.

“Me sleep couch, you bed.” I said, pointing at the piece of furniture in question.

Smiley paused and looked back at me, slightly confused. I could see the bags forming under her eyes, I knew she was tired. She rubbed her eyes with a hoof and groaned. “No… you bed, me couch.”

“You tired, I problem. I want you in bed.” I replied.

The mare snorted, half amused (probably a moment for a ‘that’s what she said’ kind of joke right there) and half annoyed. “No… You guest, you sleep bed.”

As tired as she was because of me, I wasn’t going to let her sleep on the couch. It felt wrong. “I sleep couch.” I said, taking a seat on it to make it clear.

Smiley said a burst of unintelligible noises, way too fast and way too complex, then she stopped, frowned and rubbed her temples. “I’m a (unknown noise) female, no let male sleep in couch while I sleep in bed, wrong.” She explained, using the words that she used to refer to female and male ponies. “I polite to males.” She concluded, adopting a kind of majestic pose (or at least as majestic as a slightly tipsy, pink miniature horse with bags under her eyes could ever be).

“I’m a male, no let female sleep in couch while I sleep in bed.” I used her own formula, but flipped against her, just changing the order of male and female. That took her slightly aback, but she recovered quickly and narrowed her eyes at me, taking a menacing step forward.

“You… bed… now…” That made ME snort a chuckle.

“Nope, me couch.” I said laying on the sofa and pulling the blankets on top of me. I turned my back to her and took a glance, she was staring at me, so I did the only thing that could be done, I stuck my tongue out at her, like a very mature person would do, and curled back into a defensive ball.

“You bed, ME couch!” Smiley growled.

“Shhhh… it’s fine.” I replied.

I felt her hoof grabbing on my shoulder. “Nah, you are way too small for… WHOAAAH!!” I almost fell to the ground, surprised by the sheer force of her pull, but at the last moment I was able to remain on top of the couch, thanks to the superior reach of my limbs that allowed me to stabilize myself and my grabby hands.

After a few seconds of wrestling, she changed her tactic and climbed on top of me. I was prepared for round two, but instead of fighting, she let her weight rest on top of me.

“Me couch.” She proclaimed.

“You fine?” I asked and chuckled at her antics.

“Yes! Very fine!” She wriggled aggressively as if trying to make me uncomfortable. “And you?”

“I’m VERY fine…” I wasn’t, but I wouldn’t admit it. I could bear her weight on top of me, at least until she got uncomfortable and gave up. I only needed to resist for a few more minutes to get the message across.

“Fine…”

“Yes, very fine…”

I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep…

…

Author's Note

Well, this is it, the chapter in question where I realized... that I could not un-ship these two in the long run.

I'm not going to write any romance in this story, but Cheerilee and the human will become good friends over time, and that will set the ground for the other story. This is the point where I just started to write CCCRHW, and in there, there is a reference to this very chapter.

Hope you all are enjoying the story.

21- They realized! At long last!

Ugh…

My head hurt…

I tried to move, but my back hurt too. And I was being restrained by something. Breathing in some crisp cool morning air got me a little bit less sleepy. It was kind of cold, but I was comfortably warm despite the sheets not being that thick.

I snuggled my face into the pillow, trying to avoid the light coming from the windows… a fuzzy, warm, surprisingly heavy and dark pink pillow that just groaned and… shifted?

My pillow opened up her uncannily big emerald green eyes and looked at me. She had bags under those eyes and couldn’t fully open them because of the light of the sun. That situation made me do a double take and became aware of my surroundings.

I was lying on the couch with my back pressed against the sofa pillows, my legs dangling from one end, covered with a thin blanket and with the Cheery mare being halfway between being the little spoon and being on top of me, supported between the back of the sofa and my chest, bending her neck to look back at me with her head upside down. She said something that I didn’t understand, shook her head and rubbed her eyes with a foreleg. She frowned at herself in a mix of tiredness, disappointment and frustration.

“So… that happened… We got drunk, went to sleep, tried to be polite to each other, ended up in an argument over who would take the bed and we ended up sleeping on the sofa together. We are so smart…” I said in plain English.

Cheery started to say something in Horseish, sounding very sad and disappointed on herself, if she lightly tapping her head with her hoof had something to do with what she was talking about. Her eyes started to water and she sniffled, so that was it…

“Shhh… it’s fine, it’s fine…” I said in her language while I started to run my hand along her barrel, combing her fur and chest fluff a little with my fingers. My head still hurt a lot and I couldn’t think about a better way to cheer her up.

She tensed up, immediately perking up her ears and neck, then the next stroke she lowered her head a little bit, then more, and more until she rested again her head on the real pillow, beside my head. She flattened her ears and looked at me from her peripheral upside-down vision, still frowning in an expression that shouted ‘I hate you and this is so wrong… please, don’t stop’. I chuckled and she snorted at my amusement, but she wasn’t running away.

“No children today?” I asked.

She looked back at me a bit confused until she figured it out. “Oh… no… no class today, weekend.”

“So, we sleep morning.” I responded.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, Cheery blinking drowsily with her eyes not being more than half open. Eventually, the mare shook her head and rubbed her eyes again.

“I make breakfast.” She stated as she got up and stretched on the couch like a cat, only to realize a little too late that she wasn’t on her bed and had a limited space, with me taking most of it too, so she tripped over the edge of the sofa and tumbled, almost falling off, but I grabbed her in the last second to avoid the fall. We stared at each other wide eyed and I carefully let her on the floor.

That incident made the mare even more crestfallen, and I had no idea what was going on. I crouched near her and put a hand on her back.

“How are you?” I asked, feeling a little worried.

“I am… Stupid.” She said, but I didn’t understand the word.

“Stupid? What is ‘stupid’?” I asked.

“Stupid… we sleep on sofa, no bed, I fell from sofa… Head hurts, back hurts, (unintelligible sound)… stupid… I’m stupid.” She pointed at her at that last part, making a silly face. Then she looked down again.

Yes, the situation was kind of silly. But I didn’t get why she was being so harsh to herself, that was not healthy at all. “You no stupid…”

“Me no…” She looked up at me “…But I…”

“We stupid!” I proudly pointed at myself, earning a snort from her. “We did same thing. We stupid.”

She finally smiled a little, although she still looked down and was… blushing? Through her fur? Nah, it was probably a trick of the light, maybe because she was already a reddish shade of pink.

“Okay, breakfast.” She stated and headed to her little kitchen.

“I help.” I said, coming after her.

She looked back at me and rolled her eyes. “Of course… males…”

“What?”

“Nothing! Fine! Let’s make breakfast.”

***

We were figuring out how to say ‘planet’ and ‘star’ when Smartylocks came back to pick me up. I put on my ‘I’m a normal person’ trademark face but forgot that ponies probably had a really keen sense of smell.

After a couple of whiffs and sniffs, Smartylocks scrunched her face in an adorable way that got a little chuckle out of me and then looked at Cheery with a flat stare, then back at me.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really!” I responded.

“Really! New word! Good job!” Cheery cheered and snickered afterwards.

“Lessons are going fine, I see…” Smartylocks added.

“Yup!” Both Cheery and I responded at the same time.

“Okay… time to go home…” Smartylocks said some more horse words that I didn’t understand and took me home. Back to the toy castle made out of shinny Chinese cheap quality plastic… I mean… arcane crystals.

***

I felt surprisingly well this morning. The slight headache was nothing compared to the realization that finally, someone understood my problem. That Cheery teacher mare finally realized what kind of situation I was in, and tried to help and showed some kind of empathy that was in some way helpful. We drank together some alcohol and she told me her problems, even though I didn’t understand most of it, it was comforting and in some way felt like talking to another human being.

Finally, Purplesmart came back from whatever she was doing with the Rainbow one and Smartylocks reported to her. The purple winged mare looked a little worried and the other one sounded a little alarmed at the situation. Yes, we drank a little, that’s not a big deal.

I spent the afternoon going through some textbooks for children to further learn the language, and I started to make progress on my own as I understood a little bit the explanations given with the help of the copious amounts of illustrations. But when the general time in the day when they took me to the teacher was getting close, the actual teacher came to them instead. I wasn’t expecting her to come, as I had just been there this morning.

***

It was weekend, so Cheerilee was supposedly free, and Twilight was having some trouble believing what Starlight Glimmer had told her. She had some talking to do with Cheerilee after knowing the teacher and the student had been drinking alcohol during their lessons, something completely outrageous from Twilight’s point of view. But then, Cheerilee came into the map’s room where they were gathering.

“Uh… hello Miss Cheerilee. I actually wanted to talk with you.” Twilight greeted the mare a little awkwardly, not expecting her to come.

“Good evening, Princess Twilight. I actually came to talk with you indeed.” Cheerilee replied way too calmly in Twilight’s opinion.

“I have been reported that… You and your student… were… drinking during the lessons, I hope it’s a misunderstanding.” Twilight said, not really sure how to word the problem without sounding too rude now that the actual teacher was in front of her.

“The student was too tired and depressed to continue with the lesson, so I decided to finish it early and relax.” Cheerilee explained.

“But… you… and… alcohol? Really?” Twilight stuttered, unable to cope with how casually Cheerilee had just explained the situation.

“Really!” The apetaur decided to just intervene, causing an eye twitch from Twilight and an embarrassed smile from Cheerilee.

“A teacher offering alcohol to her student is unacceptable.” Twilight frowned at Cheerilee.

“Yesterday I had a depressed stallion in my house, the least I could do is to offer him a drink.” Cheerilee countered.

“A deprr… le what?” Twilight malfunctioned for a moment.

“I have discovered somehow the origins of this creature while teaching him our language. And in the process realized that he is not only as intelligent as anypony else, he misses his friends and family, that’s the cause of his depression and weird behaviors.” The teacher explained.

“But that doesn’t mean that you can… Alcohol… and… but…”

“And the only reason why nopony knew anything about this is because nopony tried to really communicate with him as the intelligent creature he is.” Cheerlilee continued.

There was a pause while Twilight processed all the information. She already had some clues, but in reality, she had treated the apetaur like a test subject and research of her own for the most part. She blushed a little as she realized she could have paid more attention to him. She could have prevented him being depressed if she had paid more attention. The maps and diagrams he drew came to mind.

“He actually drew a few diagrams, but they didn’t make any sense. The Sun and Moon were all off and the maps were wrong…” She muttered.

“That’s because those maps and diagrams aren’t about Equus.” Cheerilee said.

“But then…”

“I believe he is representing another world or realm where things work differently.” Cheerilee explained.

“Those diagrams were quite well organized for being made up now that I think about it…”

“My theory is that he is from another world, realm, dimension or whatever in which things work differently. I remember you told me he has no magic. Probably magic doesn’t exist at all in that realm and they made up for that with… I don’t know, but he seems quite intelligent and his knowledge of his own world is impressive. I would say they are quite advanced.” Cheerilee exposed.

“Magicless advanced aliens from another planet, told ya!” Spike interrupted.

Author's Note

I'm running out of buffer and I've not been able to write recently, so I have been stretching the time between the updates a little bit more than usual. Sadly, the situation will continue for a few months, so this will significantly slow down.

Well, we can conclude now that ponies in general have figured it out, so the 'animal' thing is over. Now comes the part where the human needs to look for a way back home, or become a fully functional member of this new equine society.

22- I got an equestrian citizenship! At long last!

Twilight was anxious, pacing back and forth in her bedroom, thinking of any way this situation could have been handled in a better way. She was the princess of friendship and has made the most stupid mistake…

“Twilight?” Spike hesitantly said.

“Uh… yes Spike?”

“What’s going on that’s got you pacing back and forth with a frown?”

“The apetaur thing, Spike… I… shou… I… becau…” Twilight sighed.

“It’s okay, Twilight…”

“No, it’s not… I failed.”

“No you didn’t, you are trying your best, and no real harm was done, I guess…”

“Maybe, but we need to make up with him.” Twilight replied.

“You are providing food, safety and shelter to him, you are doing plenty already.” Spike remarked.

“But we need to do better, I need to treat him like a fellow pony, it didn’t cross my mind he could miss his friends and family, and be scared because he is in an unknown place…”

“Well, you are the local princess, make him officially a pony?” Spike’s tone became awkward at the end of his sentence as even he was unsure about what he was saying.

Twilight though, was deep in thought, and then she perked up. “Spike! You are a genius!”

“I am? I mean… of course I am!”

“Yeah… pretty humble too…” Twilight rolled her eyes at the drake’s shenanigans.

“Of course, I’m the humblest… Uh… but what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to make him an official inhabitant of Ponyville, so he can be considered legally a citizen of Equestria, so everypony will treat him as any other pony!” Twilight explained.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Although… I should at least inform Princess Celestia at this point. If everything we have investigated is true and he is from a different world and said world has an advanced society like Cheerilee said, we should take careful steps. The last thing we need is to create a diplomatic conflict with his people. Equestria is the land of friendship after all.”

“Great! I’ll take the quill…”

And just like that, Twilight was in her element, said element being to write an official document, in this case, a letter to Princess Celestia. Just like an old comfy blanket, the words just rolled out the way they always did…

Dear Princess Celestia,

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Fluttershy found an unknown wounded creature in the Everfree Forest. It is a big biped ape-like creature, and she nursed him back to health. It would not be of any remark if not for the fact that nopony seems to know what it is.

I personally investigated the case and found no other evidence of this kind of creature, so I assumed it was a new species. After more investigation, with the help of my friends and Miss Cheerilee, the local teacher, we discovered not only that said creature is intelligent, but also misses his friends and family. We are under the impression he was part of some kind of society, but we are having trouble communicating with him because he doesn’t speak Harmonian, nor any Harmonic language that is known to ponykind.

Despite lacking harmonian patterns in the sounds he produced, those seemed pretty complex, and in time, he started to imitate some harmonics and eventually formed words. This was highly troubling at first because we assumed he was an animal, but he has shown a high level of intelligence and has already started to learn our language. On hindsight, this assumption seems kind of silly, as he was wearing clothes and has a bag with unknown items, but we didn’t understand the use of most of them and he seemed protective, so we did not investigate too deeply.

He seems to lack any kind of magic, and under some conditions, he also seems resistant to it, but more experimentation should be conducted in that regard to draw any conclusions.

A few days ago, he changed his behavior and got really sad and reclusive. This is what ended up being him being depressed about his situation. He explained his teacher that he missed his friends and family and wants to go home, which brings me to the actual purpose of this letter.

He seems to have good intentions and his current situation was an accident. I want to investigate a way to send him back home, and maybe find a new fascinating society of these creatures, but in the meantime, I would like to propose giving him citizenship of Equestria and to register him in Ponyville under my care and protection as any other pony, so he does not get treated as an animal ever again.

I also want to proceed with caution, as the last thing I want to cause is a diplomatic incident, so I will consult him too about this and make sure he understands and that he is happy with this arrangement. That is why I am writing this letter, to keep you informed about the situation and to ask for any other advice you might have to handle a situation like this.

Yours faithfully, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

As Spike was finishing the last touches, Twilight thought about how she almost had said ‘your faithful student’ at the end of her letter like she used to do before becoming a princess of her own. This was something that was hard to get used to.

The letter was sent and after a few minutes, Spike burped and a new letter with the seal of Princess Celestia’s cutie mark started to fall, but Twilight got it with her magic and a wide smile before it touched the ground.

My dearest Twilight,

I’m glad you handled this situation and are taking care of it personally. As the Princess of Friendship, you have the authority make him part of our society. I trust your judgement in the matter and will fully support your decision.

I would like you to keep me informed of the progress he is making and any need or special request he might have, as we need to treat him as an ambassador from his people until we can establish a formal diplomatic relationship. We ponies need to cause a good impression on him just in case we end up discovering a whole new race of creatures that, as you described him, might be friendly to us.

If he is as intelligent as you are describing him, once you manage to help him learning our language and he has a basic understanding and can maintain a conversation, I would like to personally interview him to assess his situation.

We can also catch up the next time we meet, and this seems like a nice opportunity to do so.

Sincerely yours, Princess Celestia.

Twilight felt a little bit of apprehension as the decision making was upon her shoulders, and Princess Celestia limited herself to grant her the authority to do what she considered to do, but it lasted little time, as she had already made up her mind about it. Tomorrow, they would go to the town hall.

***

Three equally spaced, average force, standard and measured knocks were heard in the mayor’s office in Ponyville’s Town Hall. Such an inconvenience, why couldn’t her secretaries handle this one? Mayor Mare thought she had made it clear she was not to be disturbed at this moment.

“Excuse me, but I’m very busy right now.” She answered and didn’t open the door.

The pony behind the door had other plans by the look of it, as the knocking repeated.

“Far too busy to talk right now, I’m the mayor, after all…” Mayor Mare kept a calm tone, while she continued to go trough some documentation regarding the new market rights and taxes.

But the door had other plans, and one of Mayor Mare’s assistants opened it.

“Mayor mare? Princess Twilight…”

“I told you I was not to…WHAT!? Oh… I’m sorry Your Highness… I was… um…” Mayor Mare almost did a backflip at the sight of the local princess in her office. And the elements of harmony, and… the weird creature that has been around Ponyville for some days… And the local teacher.

“Mayor Mare! Good evening, I have a very important case that need to be solved.” Twilight came inside the office, followed by her friends and Miss Cheerilee to act as a translator, and of course, the apetaur. She needed to have as many witnesses as possible to spread the information that the creature was an official inhabitant of Ponyville.

“Oh… and… what will it be? If I may ask…” She was a little overwhelmed by the sudden outbreak of ponies into her office.

“We would like to inscribe a new citizen into Ponyville’s registers and to give him the proper documentation.”

“Oh… of… course. The 404 formularies are in the main hall in the left top corner of the rack… Once one of those is filled, the request may be sent and then processed and granted by the authorities and the crown…” Mayor Mare started to tell them the standard procedure.

“I have already consulted with Princess Celestia herself, and I also grant the permission required, so there is only a matter of paperwork.”

“Ugh… of course, Your Highness…” Mayor Mare barely contained a coughing fit.

“Twilight, please… just Twilight.” The alicorn interrupted.

“Oh… kay… I’ll send… Inkwell! Please, would you be so kind to bring me a copy of the 404 form?” Mayor told one of her assistants.

After a couple of minutes, said assistant came back, sans the form.

“I’m sorry, Mayor Mare, but the form 404 was nowhere to be found…”

“Seriously? No matter how many of them I order, or where I put them, they always go missing… Well, we will have to make do with the 502 form… is not the right way, but it will serve for us.” The 502 was always the wrong way to do things, but with the 404 missing, she would only need five minutes to patch up one of those and annotate the pertinent clarifications.

Twilight had tried to explain the situation to the apetaur with mixed results, so Cheerilee was needed, and she translated the current procedure mostly, for the most part, to the creature. He seemed to understand the general idea at least. Most of the words didn’t make any sense to him, but with basic words, the teacher was able to convey the basic idea of an official document for him to have a registered identity. But there was still a problem…

“This could pass as his signature, but we still need an official name, one that is legible.” Mayor Mare, Cheerilee and Twilight looked at the unknown scribble that was put down on the ‘name’ department.

“His sounds don’t make any sense to us… We can’t even transcribe them…” Twilight pointed out.

“That wont work for this…” Responded Mayor.

“But… can’t we bypass that somehow?”

“Well, Pri… Twilight, you are the princess, after all, but… if we want to give him an official identity that can’t be pronounced, identified or read by any official institution, what’s the point then?”

“You are right… How do we do this?”

“Eeeeh… can’t we just give him a nickname or something?” Rainbow dash intervened.

“Uh! Uh! Chimicherry!” Pinkie bounced around with her suggestion.

“Um… Bu… Bu… Butterscotch?” Fluttershy, who was already cowering in a corner, just tried to make herself smaller when everyone looked back at her. “Eeeep… I just wanted to call him something sweet…”

“Tall Stuff.” Said Rainbow.

“Mr Handy?” Suggested Applejack.

“Gentle Pants?” Said Rarity.

“Picklebarrel! Because he was kind of a pickle when I tried to throw him a welcome party.” Pinkie made another suggestion.

“Can’t we just ask him what he wants to be called?” Proposed Cheerilee.

“I think that could work…” Responded Twilight.

“Pants… pants… oh, I think I got it, girls…” Interrupted Rainbow.

“Yeah? What is it?” Twilight arched an eyebrow, already wary of the way the prismatic pegasus had said it.

“SMARTY PANTS!” Rainbow Dash snickered afterwards.

“Uh… that…” Twilight ears went flat and absolutely not a blush adorned her features.

“Oh, darling, that’s quite lovely!” Rarity added.

“See, Twilight? It fits!” Rainbow grinned down at her.

“Uh… I… he is kind of smart…” Fluttershy added.

“And… he always wears pants.” Applejack said.

“See? It’s perfect! Unless, of course… you are not over that little incident back then and it reminds you of that and WANT or NEED to use another one…” Again, Rainbow snickered.

“FINE! I’m fine!” Twilight was absolutely not blushing in embarrassment, no, absolutely not, it was just the heating of the building… She was totally fine.

“So, have we decided it yet?” The mayor coughed to call for attention.

“Yes, yes… his identity in Equestria is going to be Smarty Pants…” The alicorn said, puffing out her tuft and adopting a dignified pose, and absolutely not a blush in her face.

And so, it was decided. After a few minutes of paperwork and a couple of old fashioned black and white pictures of his face (they were wary of him freaking out at the advanced piece of equestrian technology the camera was, but he seemed just kind of amused by it, even when the pyrotechnic charges went off for the flash), they got all the documentation needed and a provisional Equestrian Citizenship Certificate was provided until the definitive one could be printed and sent directly to him via royal mail.

Fluttershy hurried away, saying she had to take care of the needs of yet another animal, Rarity back to her store, Applejack back to her family farm and so on… Only Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee, Twilight and the new named Smarty Pants were walking (And in case of Dash, flying) back to the castle to escort him back to his room. Rainbow still was giggling like a loon.

“Rainbow? Do you have something to tell us?” Twilight scowled at her.

“Nothing… *snort* Nothing at all…”

“You sure?”

“You know… you just got a new Smarty Pants; he could just be your new doll…”

“RAINBOW!” Twilight chided.

“You called for it!”

Rainbow flew away, laughing madly at her joke. Twilight huffed and put her snout up in the air with an indignant ‘humpf’ that would make any canterlotian proud. And of course, definitely…

Still not blushing.

Author's Note

This is the first chapter I have written from scratch. This is not an edit from my old ‘Project Fic’ archives, but a brand-new chapter. From now on I will be able to fully take advantage of all the feedback all of you have been providing along this ride. This is good, but bad at the same time, as I don’t have a proper buffer anymore, so whenever I feel like it’s been too long, I can’t just press the big red button and publish something. It will take longer, and you know… life in general, tedious things, job and stuff.

Hope everyone is doing alright and I hope you enjoy this one too.

23- Comfortable routine, at long last!

Author's Note

As I was editing this, I realized that Smarty got some names really messed up, and some of you, if not paying close attention will probably be like "Uh... he didn't even met this pony yet", but you know... Twilight, Sunset, Sparkle, Shimmer, Twinkle... some names have such a similar meaning that it would be confusing to translate them.

Appart from that, I hope I didn't miss too many mistakes while re-reading and editing this one. There will be some for sure anyways. Also, life is doing life things, job is throwing me some stress, some other personal projects and so on. So I have less time to write this, but I hope I am able to pick it up again in the summer. For now, I'll keep the updates every month-ish or so.

I read all the coments and stuff, but I usually do so from a tablet, so it's usually a pain to reply and that's why from time to time I sit down and do a batch of replies all of a sudden.

23- Comfortable routine, at long last!

Routine was a nice achievement. After the ponies realized in what kind of situation I was in, I was allowed some more freedom. The arrangement continued to be the same, though. I lived in a guest room in Purplesmart’s crystal tree castle for the next few days. I would love to have conversations with the locals, and I bet some of them wanted to talk to me, a green horned one even got really curious and followed me here and there.

Purplesmart tried to engage in conversations about my origins, but all we could provide were some sketches and some differences about our languages, and many things like cars or airplanes were so foreign that I needed a better understanding of their language before attempting to explain more advanced concepts and abstract ideas. It could be done now, but it was frustratingly difficult and I decided to postpone it for the disappointment of the purple menace.

They didn’t even get the correct approach about my language. Every time I tried to show them one of my own words, they tried to replicate the pitch, cadence, intonation and musicality of the relatively plain sound for them in English, not the English word itself, and I didn’t have enough horse words to explain what they were doing wrong; therefore, it was just plainly awkward for all parts involved.

So, I focused on my language lessons. After a couple of days, I started to learn about verb conjugations, very simple structures, actually. They didn’t use irregulars, they just added something to the verb root to signal the person, and then something at the end to indicate if it was present, past or future. Slight variations of the present, past and future made more advanced conjugations, but in the end, if you knew the rules, all of the sounds were the same modifications of the originals. It took some time to fine tune my ears to the subtle variations in intonation and pitch, but in the end, it just needed some practice like any other language. The teacher pony helped a lot in that regard.

In the mornings I would stay in my room or go to the library to study the language, then in the afternoon I would go to the teacher and review my progress. She was kind of impressed about my advancements. I guess knowing more than one language already made it easy to learn another one, and this one was literally designed be catchy.

Another thing to consider about my situation at the beginning. They all communicated using that language, and it was based on singing more than articulating the sounds. Probably my language was so alien to them they didn’t even recognize it as such. And I was completely unable to isolate anything in particular about their tongue until I started to focus on the pitch, rhythm and intonation. Probably, part of why they treated me as an animal was because they thought the sounds my language used were not a language at all.

Even if Smiley the teacher got impressed by my progress, it was kind of a natural development for me. Being used to learn much more complicated languages, this one was really easy to remember as long as you were good at singing. I was not, but I got better quickly. You didn’t need skills or a particularly good voice, as with songs, you could always lower your intonation to a more comfortable one and the changes, rhythms and musical notes would still be equivalent.

The language WANTED to be known. No irregulars, no weird combinations, really predictable and very simple grammar. It was like Esperanto but made with music, the ultimate easy to learn language. I was still unable to investigate its origin, but it seemed like a specifically developed common language (all the creatures I’ve met so far spoke it), more like the work of a group of scholars and taught to the population through generations. Not at all like a language that evolved and changed and got twisted and turned to become a thing. Not this one, this one seemed engineered. Such a language would require a stable teaching applied through years… even generations… It was an accomplishment on its own. I’m not a linguist, but I’m a curious person, and different languages use different structures, some of them have very difficult verbs, like Spanish, others had an enormous variety of symbols, like Chinese, others were hard to pronounce, and so on. This one is like getting the easy traits of all languages (easy grammar, limited symbols, predictable structure…) and turning it into a song.

Or maybe I’m just paranoid and the ‘hard’ part of this one is learning how to sing it… Whatever…

As a mnemonic, I started to speak in plain English, but using the musicality of the pony language. Some words were longer or shorter, so I would have to artificially extend some words, like repeating the same vowel a couple of times to get the right musical notes in place, as any singer would do. This way, I could speak in both English and Pony at the same time, and it made remembering words extremely easy.

Wait… by using different channels for communication… you can actually SPEAK your original language at the same time as you speak the pony one! Was that intentional too!?

After a week of intense study, I was able to remember around twenty different verbs with the respective conjugations and around a hundred other words, so I could start forming really basic sentences, not just repeating patterns and memorized formulas, and if the teacher spoke deliberately slow and used only the words I knew, I was starting to understand what she was saying with a complete meaning, not just spare words.

At this point, I started to understand the name of some of the ponies. For example, Purplesmart was actually called Sunset Twinkle, or something like that. Smartylocks was called Light of Star… err… Twinkle, but with other words. The white one who made clothes for me was called Rare Thing, and Yellowings was Timid Wingbeat. The teacher pony was called something to do with cheerful and more things I couldn’t understand, so she got just Cheery. The orange mare with the cowboy hat was Apple something, her little sister Apple Flower. The blue one with the rainbow was Rainbow Run, the pink one was something Pie, and so on.

They hang around a lot, so I got to interact with them quite a bit, but not as much as I would have liked. They talked a lot about me, by the look of it. Their gestures were very relatable and easy to read once I got used to them and learned to read their tails and ears, but not always I was able to figure them out, not yet.

***

“Sixteen apples for… tree Bits…” I said.

“Here you go…” She answered, giving me a paper coin that I recognized as a four-bit one.

“Thank you very much, here.” I gave her a one-bit paper coin back.

“Well done! You are a natural at this.” Cheery praised me.

“Yeah… I’m cheap too.”

She snorted a snicker.

“You mean… your apples are cheap.”

“No difference.”

“Yes difference! You different from apples.” She explained with yet simple words.

“Me good at apple, I’m best apple, also cheap.” I replied.

“Come on! You know this already; how can you mess this up!?”

“By trying really hard?” I teased.

She hid her muzzle under her fetlock and looked away, but I could see the smile through her act, and her barely contained snickers. After a moment, when she recovered, she looked back at me with her lips pursed to prevent the curl of a smile.

“You fail test.” She said.

“So, me get good marks at failing, me very good at failing.” I proclaimed triumphantly.

A very loud snort scaped from her barely contained mirth, she broke down in a fit of giggles.

“You tell Sunset that…”

“Will totally do.” Yeah, that will totally discombobulate Purplesmart. “You free from me soon. Sunset come for me.”

“No worry, I’m fine, I’m having fun teaching.” Cheery said.

“I’m worst children.”

She snorted and pushed my shoulder with a hoof. As friendly as the gesture was, hooves are hard, and ponies without horn and wings are strong, so it was a slightly harder hit than I expected and made me flinch a little.

“Yes, yes you are…”

We remained like that for a while. After a few classes, we ended up moving into her living room, which was surprisingly clean and tidy now. All the material for the pony children was gone, and every time I came, I couldn’t spot anything I could help her with.

“House tidy and clean.” I pointed out, as another topic to practice conversation.

“Yes, I clean the house and make all the chores.” She sat a little bit straighter.

“Dishes…” I said as I looked to the kitchen.

“Done!” She answered, looking at me with a… challenging stare?

I looked around. Yep, the house was in pristine condition.

“Do you need help?” I asked, I wanted to somehow compensate her for her efforts teaching me.

“Nope! I can do it myself! No problem at all.”

“Problem the first day. I helped.”

She visibly deflated, like physically struck, but quicky recovered. “Bad day, not always. I’m very good at chores. My house is always tidy. You are a guest, don’t worry about my chores.”

“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Really!” She straightened again and puffed out her chest fluff. These ponies do that a lot, and I had to resist messing with said fluff.

“I don’t believe you.” I told her and she almost got a coughing fit and snorted indignantly.

Our lesson was interrupted by three evenly spaced, average force, knocks on the door. Purplesmart it is this time…

This was getting a little bit ridiculous, now they were treating me like a lost child. There wasn’t anything to point my finger to, but I felt overprotected, and not only by Purplesmart, but any other pony always tried to make me feel good or cheer me up. This was a prime example, being escorted back and forth to the teacher’s house. There was always Purplesmart or Smartylocks with me.

They let me go for a walk on my own as long as I asked for it, as I mentioned, they allowed me a little more freedom, but in general, there was always a pony offering herself to escort me here and there.

And if I was alone, in time there would almost always be a pony tagging along, be it the green and white one, or the one with a rose painted on her rump (that one is as curious as a cat), or any of Purplesmart’s friends, or even the teacher would ‘we-are-heading-in-the-same-direction’ her way into walking besides me for a while…

Whether they were a kind society like that to strangers or there was something more behind it, I would never know until I got a better understanding of these little equines.

It was nice at the beginning, but somehow it was getting to my nerves. Now that I think about it, Cheery had been preventing me from doing any chores too, any time I tried to help her, she took me back to the couch and did whatever I was trying to help her with all by herself.

How peculiar…

Cheery went to open the door and let the purple mare in, and after a round of greetings, she directed her attention (and rotated her ears) towards me with a semi nervous flick of her tail.

“Hello! What did you learn today?” Purplesmart asked me.

“Uh… Learned about money and bits and market.” I answered.

“Good, good… Did you do good?”

“I’m very good at failing!” I cheerfully told her in a painfully innocent voice.

“Oh, that’s very nic… wait WHAT!?”

She looked back and forth between Cheery and me, and the teacher rolled her eyes.

“You explain me when we go back to the castle.” Purplesmart scowled at me.

“Will do!”

Sunset… Twin… Shi… PURPLESMART! Was just like that… you could NOT resist to mess with her a little bit from time to time, as she was kind of obsessed with doing everything ‘by the book’. Pleasant times indeed. Little to worry about except for me being lost, probably won’t be able to see my family and friends again, and general existential dread, but I was becoming better at preventing panic attacks and keeping myself cool. Talking with Cheery usually helped, and that got me another idea…

These ponies used some kind of currency, metal coins, and I didn’t have any to my name. I ought to push my own weight and find a job or something sooner rather than later, as living off of Purplesmart’s providence was becoming more and more awkward and demeaning for me. I am a hardworking and highly capable individual, damn it!

But on the other hand, all my knowledge was probably mostly useless in the job market in this place, their world worked differently. But I am also an adaptable and crafty human being! I ought to adapt and overcome this situation!

Nope, no internet job hunting, no social media networking, impossible to send my resume to anyone because, as you all might have guessed by this point (not that it mattered to these ponies, but old habits die hard) still no signal.

24- My first job! At long last!

It’s about time I become a productive member of society. It is nice to be taken care of and all that, but after a while, you get that nagging sensation that you are overstaying your welcome and becoming a dead weight on someone else’s shoulders… or withers… because you know… horses…

Anyway… The thing is that I observed a pony grabbing a piece of paper stuck to a board near the town hall when we went to do my paperwork.

I am now an official member of pony society and therefore, I should be able to get an employment. And that’s where those pieces of paper come into the picture. I asked Purplesmart what was that pony doing and she told me that he was grabbing a ‘help request’ so she would go help someone… err… pony, and in exchange for the help, he would get coins.

More or less, give or take a few words and still unintelligible sounds here and there, but the thing sounded awfully close to being hired to do something.

At this point I had brought the idea a couple of times, and every time I even remotely suggested that I wanted to do something to earn money, I got rewarded with a few spare coins and some kind words. I am not a child requesting pocket money, dang it…

So, there is that… I ended up ‘Hey-Purplesmart-I’m-going-out-for-a-walk’ my way into making them leaving me on my own for a moment and used said moment to go to the town hall looking for a ‘help request’.

I brought my freshly made documentation with me just in case, but these ponies seemed pretty casual about it. I was about to browse the board looking for a fitting job that I could do using my crafty human abilities when I realized I was forgetting one teensy weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail…

I still can’t read pony.

Or at least not out of the safety of a textbook. Books for teaching the language are carefully crafted and have pictures, the symbols are clear and carefully displayed, and the words are carefully selected to teach you and they are prepared to be easy to understand… This quickly and crudely scribbled notes… not as much. I could only make out a few words and I was missing some context to put the pieces together. Flower… garden… plants… roses and something about being lucky?

Who is asking for help? What is supposed to be done? Where?

I was about to turn back in defeat then I spotted a familiar yellow little filly with red hair and a bow. Wait, wasn’t she related to some of Purplesmart’s friends? And she was carrying a piece of paper in her mouth and was headed directly to the board…

I waved at her and she waved back, and then something happened. She was about to stick the paper with a nail to the board when she suddenly gasped and presented the piece of paper to me.

Uh oh?

Was I going to take advantage of the situation, my connection to Purplesmart and her friends and let the utter innocence of this filly grant me my first job position?

Well, I had to start somewhere, and the first job you ever get is always a shacky one at best. And the filly was doing the puppy face thing after asking me something far too quickly for me to understand, or maybe is the accent or something.

“Okay, I will help.” I answered.

The filly squealed in delight almost in the ultrasonic spectrum, pranced in place and ran a couple of laps around me before grabbing my trousers with her mouth and pulling.

“Okay, okay… I’ll follow you.”

***

Headache.

That’s what I’m getting.

The filly doesn’t seem to get it. She keeps firing question after question far too quickly for me to understand, far too quickly for me to even answer, and also far too quickly to even finish her own question properly before the next idea crosses her cute little head and she comes up with a new one with renewed excitement. Also, her intonation is a little bit off compared to the one I was learning.

I do my best to keep it up, to at least provide a couple of words here and there, but the horse words are coming too fast, and by the look of it jumping from topic to topic, I can’t focus like in Cheery’s class, this is way too random, to high pitched, too fast…

If I stay more than a couple of minutes ignoring her, she tries to grab my attention again and continues her almost one-sided conversation, I just…

Thank goodness we got where we needed to be relatively quickly. This place is not very big, it doesn’t take long to go from place to place.

It happened to be a quaint orchard, with rows upon rows of apple trees. A rustic looking red painted barn could be seen from the distance. The center piece of the place was a two-story house with a little tower, red painted walls and white beams with purple-grey painted roofs… quite colorful, could be an eyesore anywhere else, but in this land of technicolor equines it was right at home.

There were other elements, like other small varied plantations and little animal pens with pigs and chickens. Wait… Why do they even have pigs!?

My train of thought was interrupted when the orange pony came up to us and started to chat with her little sister or daughter. They went back and forth for a little while and the orange mare seemed frustrated. The little yellow one pointed at me and to the piece of paper.

“Oh, yes… I help farm!” I waved the paper in front of her.

“Uh… right. Apple Flower? *Unknown question*?”

“He is going to help! Look at his… *Rapid succession of small horse sounds that I could not follow*.”

After another little bit of back and forth, the orange mare looked at me with one of those awkward smiles.

“Are you sure, *unknown*? The mare asked.

“I need to start somewhere, I learn.” I shrugged.

“Okay… we will give this *unknown noises*.” She motioned me to follow her.

We passed in front of a semi covered porch and there, sat in a rocking chair, was an old looking green pony with white hair. She waved at us and I waved back. From time to time, a loud ‘whack’ could be heard, like something hitting something.

After a couple of minutes walking through the rows of apple trees we met a red big stallion, his butt mark was a big green apple, so I guess he worked in here.

“This is Big *unknown*, he is *unknown* apples. Can you help him?” The mare asked.

“Of course! I will help him!” I exclaimed excitedly. I was taller and had dexterous fingers, I was going to ace this job, there was no way this equine creature could compete with me!

“Okay, *Unknown*, I will go to do my part and you help him. In a few hours I will come back to see how are you doing.”

“Hello, Big… uh…” I didn’t get the second part correctly.

The big stallion nodded in acknowledgement to my greeting.

“I see you later, guys!” And the mare started to walk away and took with herself the little yellow and red menace.

“So, we pick apples…” I got near a tree and extended a hand, took the first apple and put it in an empty basked.

“Eeeeyup.”

“Okay!” And I continued to do that operation, but the stallion stood there, looking at me.

“Huh… Impressed?” I asked. I could reach much higher than him, he should be astonished at my ability…

“Eyyynope.” Big Apple shook his head.

Wait wat? He was not impressed? How was he supposed to pick the apples anyways! With his mouth?

He reared back and put himself in position in front of an apple tree.

“What?”

‘WHACK!’

And all the apples fell from the tree perfectly into the few baskets that were randomly put on the ground, doing instantly the job that would take me an hour at least.

“Wait… just… HOW!?”

And he just shrugged and moved on to the next tree.

Okay, roll with it, magic land of technicolor horses… Let’s do it!

I imitated his movements, positioned myself in front of a tree and carefully kicked the trunk. Nothing happened.

“Eyyynope.” He said and demonstrated again with another tree, again, the same result, a few more baskets full of apples.

Okay, what am I doing wrong? Maybe is the colocation. He looks away from the tree and kicks with his rear legs, but I don’t have ‘rear legs’ just legs. Maybe it is about the positioning… I turned around and gave my back to the tree, measured the distance and kicked back with one leg, nothing happened. I did it again with the other leg and still nothing happened.

The red big stallion repeated the process and another tree dropped its apples perfectly on the baskets.

And that is KIND of how gravity works… but not at the same time… that’s cheating…

I kicked again with all my might and the tree rattled a little bit, then a single apple fell and hit me right on the head and then bounced to the floor.

Yeah… that’s how gravity is supposed to work…

“Curse you, Newton! You have abandoned me!” I screamed to the world in general. I bet the bastard is having a laugh right now at my expense.

The red stallion shook his head at my antics.

“Okay, I carry apples then.”

“Eeeeyup.”

“Where do I need to take these and where are the empty baskets?” I grabbed a couple of baskets full of apples.

He pointed with his muzzle towards the red barn.

“Okay, be right back…” And so, I started to be the hauling mule for the ponies in this farm.

***

It was hard and tiring, but in the end, it seemed that it paid off and the ponies were kind of happy with me. I got paid twenty coins for the few hours of hauling apples, and Big Red could concentrate in kicking trees and making apples rain on top of the baskets.

This way, I kind of helped speed up the process, and they thanked me for it and I was told that I could come back other day. They also provided apple pie for lunch and it had that particular ‘pony’ style of unrefined, yet really delicious and natural taste to it.

The little yellow and red filly was also there, but the orange mare kind of prevented her from drowning me in questions again, she was slightly disappointed in that, but I still lacked the language skills to follow her.

Big Red and the orange mare with a cowboy hat didn’t seem really thrilled with me helping again, but the old mare, who they were calling Granny Something, seemed really excited to have me around and offered some kind words that I mostly understood by the intonation and the way she kindly smiled at me. She also stole a couple of glances to the orange mare and said something that made her look away and blush. Long story short, the farmers were just okay with me, but the old mare liked me being around and asked me to come back to help them the next day.

I came back to the castle to a kind of worried looking Purplesmart, she asked where I had been and I mostly told her. She was not really happy with me disappearing, but I was a grown man and I was in need of finding a source of income. I kept it brief, as I was really tired and went straight to the shower and then crashed into the bed. There was still some daylight left, but I was exhausted from my day at the farm.

I counted the number of bits I had collected so far. The few coins I got from time to time, and the few coins I got the couple of times I asked Purplesmart for advice about getting a job, adding the twenty I had earned today, I had a total of forty bits… That’s as much as four tens, and that’s terrible

I had no idea how much every ‘bit’ was worth, but from what I learned with Cheery, I got the feeling I could comfortably buy groceries for a few days with this amount. I needed to work on it, I was still unable to know if something was expensive or not, but I could go watch these ponies haggle at the market the next day it was set up.

I left my solar panel on the windowsill and it has managed to charge a little bit the power bank, but I was too tired to get up again, therefore I decided I would pass today’s daily ‘still no signal’ check.

Author's Note

Kind of an uneventful, filler chapter there. I got minimal editing, so I guess there is going to be some mistakes and awkward phrasing and what not, but I suppose it is better than no update.

Also, kind of needed this chapter to get things going.

I was going to write a blog entry about me not being in the groove to write, life becoming more life-ish, job getting more job-ish and so on. But then I thought 'hey, why not putting all that energy into actually writing a chapter?' So, here you go...

At least, you got an update.

25- Dreamscape! At long last!

That filly sure was a hand… hoof-full to han… to hoofle? WHATEVER! I mean, that filly was a bully, that’s for sure, and now I have to gather some supplies and go after her.

The poor girl, she was kid… foalnap… STOP! I mean, she took her away! Poor little Cheerilee, now I have to go rescue her, I’m not going to let her get away with it. We were just playing in the sand pit, Cheerilee and me, building a sand castle, when suddenly, that dark filly with a blue helmet appeared…

“Hahahahaha… fear me! For I am Princess Selena, the sovereign of the night!” A dark blue cloud of smoke exploded out of nowhere and out came the unicorn filly in question. She had black coat and a pointier than usual horn and pointier than usual teeth.

“Eeeep!” The poor Cheerilee fell on her back

“Uhh… can I help you?”

“Show some respect to your sovereign, my little subject, for I am the princess of the night!”

“It’s like… lunch time… around… twelve o clock, you know?” I said and pointed at the perfectly lit blue sky. The sun even had a smiley face on it and it didn’t hurt to look at, because if it did, we wouldn’t be able to see such face.

“Yeah? Okay, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you! BEHOLD!” She said in the most villainous of tones but with an almost ultrasonic squeaky voice that cracked a little bit at the end of the sentence.

The sun was pulled out of the sky and the moon came up, turning the whole scene into nighttime.

“Wow… that was kind of cool.” I pointed at the moon.

“She is the evil princess, Smarty, be careful!” Cheerilee said while hiding behind the sand castle.

“Oh, I see… so, are you evil?” I asked Selena.

“Yup.” She answered, puffing out her chest fluff.

“Wanna play?”

“I…”

“You can be like… the Princess or something, you see. We are building castles after all; we just might need a princess for it. We can build towers and walls and stuff and you can be all protected and be the sovereign of whatever you want. We can even draw your banners on the sand.”

“Oh… I might very much like… uh… WAIT.” She seemed to hesitate a little bit as I offered her a plastic trowel.

“Such disrespect will not go unnoticed! A curse will fall upon this town…”

“Aren’t we inside the schoolhouse playground?” I interrupted.

“TOWN! It goes better with the plot…”

“Ah, okay.”

We were now in a town in the middle of the forest inhabited by foals, so instead of markets and monuments, we had playgrounds and sandpits. The houses were adorably small. When the foals noticed that the day had just been turned into night, they started to panic and flee to their homes.

“As I was saying, a curse will fall upon this town, and I, Princess Selena, will take HER as a tribute to your almighty sovereign!” She used her magic to levitate Cheerilee off of the ground.

“Hey! That’s not nice, put her down, I said I would play with you! What’s going on!?” I protested, but she laughed and disappeared in a flash of light, taking Cheerilee with her.

What a pickle… she had to come and stop our fun together, even when I offered her to play with us! The nerve of fillies these times I swear…

So, that’s how I ended up wandering the little town, not really sure about what to do. Ponies seemed to be kind of shocked now, and I went asking about what had just happened, but all of them told me that Princess Selena had taken Cheerilee with her and that a curse had befallen upon all of us. When I asked about what kind of curse, they told me that we would all turn into zombies.

How did they know how the curse worked? Because it was the only curse that would exist in this kind of situations, and all of them seemed to agree, so who was I to question them. To add insult to injury, it started to rain. An ominous storm had formed and I was fighting against the elements as I gathered the supplies for my adventure.

Where did I have to go? Well, even I knew that, it was obvious in this kind of situations. The gloomy castle on top of that mountain that was there for some reason, the whole time, since the beginning, I swear. It didn’t appear just now or anything.

Well, maybe if you looked away from it and you turned back fast enough you could sometimes catch a glimpse of said castle rendering, but that probably had to do with the connection to the server.

They say life is what you make out of it, so I would set on something like… an epic mountain climbing full of challenges rather than an arduous task walking on all fours on a muddy trail, fighting against rain and wind.

Halfway through I found the path was blocked by a fallen tree, its trunk as wide as I was tall. Looking to the left I found the almost vertical wall of the mountain, eroded by some water torrents that had formed, flooding the path and turning the mud into puddles before falling from the cliff on the right side, and said cliff was almost vertical too, and the trunk stood out of the path, cutting it completely. Getting over it was the only way…

I prepared for a jump, wiggled my butt for good measure and jumped, only for my rear legs to slip on the mud. That made me unable to gain enough momentum, and I ended up crashing into the wood. As I sprawled on the floor, the slippery mud took me a few meters down the slope, and a crappy music started to play.

“Oof, you lost a lot of progress. That’s a deep frustration, a real punch in the… CLICK”

“SHUT UP!” I squeaked in my now high-pitched voice as I turned off the volume of the dialogues.

I took a few calming breaths, coughed a little bit because some rain water managed to get into my mouth, and assessed my situation. Welp, I had to climb it then.

Using the wall of the mountain for support and the roots that were still sticking out of the trunk I managed to climb it and fall unceremoniously on the other side. It was ungainly, undignified and slightly painful, but effective nonetheless.

After an indeterminate amount of time walking up the slope, fighting against the elements, I finally arrived in the castle. It was a hastily made structure, made out of reeds and wood chunks, like put together in a hurry or by a team of foals, maybe both.

“Princess Selena! I have come to rescue Cheerilee!” I opened the door and came in.

Cheerilee was sitting in a corner of the castle, on top of a circle drawn on the floor with a sign reading ‘Dungeon, don’t step out’. Selena was in front of me, blocking the way to Cheerilee.

“Oh, you fool! You have come to your doom!” She said as she charged a spell.

“Welp, joke’s on you, I’m immune to…ARGH!” I screamed in surprise as I felt like I was hit by something and crashed on the floor a meter away from where I was standing.

“You can’t defeat me, you weakling! Thou… I mean… you have no magic!” She cackled as thunders struck the area for added dramatism.

“Then… I… cast… TACKLE!” I launched myself against her, taking her by surprise. We both fell to the floor and struggled for a little bit. I managed to hit her horn every time she tried to cast something, dispelling the spells.

“Smarty, you came for me…” Cheerilee called from the ‘dungeon’.

“There is no time, Cheerilee, run! I will distract her and then we will go back!”

“I mean… Smarty, I’m the mare! I should be the one rescuing you!”

“Does AUCH! not…” I replied, as I got a hoof to the face while Selena and I struggled.

“Does so!”

“Does NOT!”

“You both are going to go to the dungeon!” Selena intervened.

“Does SO!” I also blew a raspberry to Selena for good measure.

“Ewww… gross.” She said.

“Come on! Run away, I’ll catch up!”

“Nope, I’ll help you defeat Selena.”

And so, Cheerilee also charged against us, pushing the three of us against a reed wall. The roof was leaky and the floor became muddy, so our hooves were all slipping around and making a general mess of ourselves. On a particularly violent shove, the floor gave up under us, and a chunk of the mountain fell down the cliff, taking part of the castle with it. Selena also fell for the surprise of Cheerilee and me.

“You have defeated me! Curse yoooooouuuu…” And she disappeared down the abyss in a very Disney-like death. The rain and wind stopped, and the sun came back up, lighting up the day again.

“Oh my god, she just fell!” Was my reaction, as I cautiously approached the collapsed border.

“Oh no! Dear goodness, the poor thing!” Cheerilee was suddenly on the verge of tears.

“We… need to get help, she’s just a filly…”

“She was a bully, but… but… she didn’t deserve that! I don’t want her to get hurt.”

We were suddenly startled by a gentle giggle behind us.

“Oh, I assure you she is perfectly okay, my little ponies.”

“GASP! Princess Luna!” Cheerilee immediately bowed at her.

“Uh… and… Oh, you must be an important pony.” I gave her a court reverence.

Before us was what I could describe as a giant, dark blue and ethereal purplesmart, or something like that, she had both horn and wings and was kind of tall, specially taking into account our actual height right now. The breeze of the mountain did weird light tricks to her mane, that looked like it was as light as a cloud of smoke, but blue and not actually going away in the wind. There were also sparkly dots that resembled stars, quite the show to watch indeed.

“But… we need to help that little filly, Miss Luna, she just fell, we need to find her!” I urged the adult pony to help us.

“Oh, she is perfectly okay, don’t worry. Um…”

“Smarty Pants, this is Princess Luna, your Highness, this is Smarty Pants, the alien.” Cheerilee realized the awkwardness and made the introductions, such an attentive sweetheart.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Mister Pants, you look adorable as a colt.” The real princess introduced herself.

“Oh… that name is such a pain… Well, anyways, the pleasure is mine, your…” I hesitated with the title for a moment, so Cheerilee whispered it at me. “Oh, yeah, your Highness. AND I am not a colt, actually I’m not a pony at all, as you may see…” I showed her my han… hoof?

“Oh, Smarty, you do indeed look adorable like that! Look at that rich blue coat and that fiery orange mane! Quite the charmer…” I could almost see the stars twinkling in the eyes of a suddenly too-close-for-comfort filly Cheerilee.

I sat on the floor and looked at my hooves. Huh… hooves indeed. I looked back and saw my indeed fiery orange tail twitching nervously. I went cross eyed and could see the blue tip of my muzzle.

“I have been looking for you lately, Mister Pants. My sister, Princess Celestia is… well, interested in knowing more about you, she instructed me to look for you in the dreamscape, but after many nights of fruitless search, this opportunity rose.” Luna explained.

“This opportunity?” I asked.

“I couldn’t find you in the dreamscape at all… It might have something to do with what Twilight Sparkle reported about you. Resistance to magic and magical interactions. But then I found a shared dream between two ponies, one of them without a magical signal in the dreamscape, I got my suspicions of what it could be, I took a look and I found you two! Shared dreams are quite rare, a very strong bond is usually needed, you two must be very close to each other.”

“Oh, so you wanted to talk with me?” I was growing uncomfortable as I was finding more body parts that resembled a pony the more I looked at myself.

“More or less, yes. I wanted to learn more about you first hoof.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell us?” Cheerilee asked.

“Well… there are some things that cannot be asked, only tested instead, and well… My sister insisted on… um… I mean, I had a lot of fun playing with you two! And I believe I learned everything I needed to know.” She giggled.

“HAD I BEEN A COLT THIS WHOLE TIME!?” I panicked as the situation really got to me and I suddenly woke up in my room.

I looked around and checked my hands, my lack of a tail and went cross eyed to see my regular human nose. I sighed in relief and collapsed back on the bed. Lot of weird things happen in dreams and you don’t really question them, and let me tell you, this was a REALLY weird one. Okay, calm down, don’t think too much about it… I checked my body one more time, still human.

Author's Note

I was testing one of those 'dreamwalking' techniques in which you sleep near a notebook and when you wake up, you write down as fast as you can all you can remember about your dreams, so this chapter mostly came out of that notebook. I sprinkled a couple of spices here and there for extra flavor, but mostly that.

I found so hilarious that doing so, one of the dreams I managed to catch was this one. I was a colt and had to rescue a filly in a very childlike fashion. I just had to change the filly to Cheerilee and the colt to... well, Smarty, to fit the story. Selena and Luna were actually present and they acted exactly the same, except for the information gathering part, that was kind of the set up for this to happen. I actually woke up startled when I realized I was a colt the whole time. Not that dramatic, I had a laugh instead of a panic attack.

I think it is fitting that the obligatory Luna-in-dreamscape chapter came out of an actual dream.

26- Some chess moves in the background, at long last!

This therapy ponies do nowadays is kind of fascinating, my dear diary. When I first came back from the moon and was rescued, I was traumatized by what had happened.

At first it was kind of understandable that I needed help, some love and care from my dearest sister, but… there was something else. Celestia hired weird doctors to treat me, really weird doctors, they said they cured the mind. Psychologists they called themselves, and they said I was going to receive ‘therapy’, but said thing didn’t involve medicine, it was just a lot of talking. They said that they would keep the secret of anything that I told them, that it was part of their profession. Of course, that didn’t stop my sister from putting magic gaeas on them to prevent any accidental reveal of my… what they called them? Oh, yes… ‘things to improve’. It looked like in order to heal in the modern world, the love of my sister was not enough.

To think that I was going to visit a doctor to ‘heal’ my mind was kind of disturbing, and also kind of humiliating, but after what I did, I was powerless and hurt. My sister’s decision to take me to a ‘therapist’ felt like a low blow, like I didn’t matter, like she was gaslighting me, telling me I was crazy.

Oh, dear was I wrong…

The first few sessions with Doctor Wary Hooves didn’t went as I expected. I expected to be magically influenced, medicines, a lot of coercion, conditioning, even torture, like what was usual to do to ponies with ill minds back in the day.

But surprisingly it was just talking, and I did most of it at the beginning. I told him how I felt, what I wanted, my desires and my frustrations.

For some reason it was incredibly easy to talk to him, yet he didn’t do much talking himself, he just limited to tell me it was okay, to name the emotions I felt, to tell me it was normal to feel the way I did. I felt kind of empty after our sessions, like I had talked too much, revealed too much, I felt tricked into telling him everything, and yet, I felt lighter.

It was easier to walk around, my thoughts didn’t haunt me like they used to do. When a dark thought came to my mind, I was easily able to label it, tell myself it was normal, and be at peace with it. The dark thought usually got bored and just left me alone after a while.

Then, Nightmare Night came.

Doctor Wary told me to play along, it was an exercise, something I had to do to help the healing of my mind. I threw a tantrum, I almost outright refused to come back to therapy anymore, I was suddenly facing all my old ghosts, fears and frustrations. I was told to mockingly embody the very thing that tortured me.

Despite all of that, he kept calm, so calm that I felt deeply unnerved. It was uncanny how that pony could be so calm and collected the whole time in the face of a raging alicorn. And also convincing, because the next thing I remember was taking my escorts and flying to Ponyville, with Twilight and her friends, some ponies my sister had set up for me, local heroes, the ones that rescued me from the Nightmare.

And it worked. I had fun, I made friends, and they accepted me for what I was.

So, it was set. Every opportunity to mock my old self, the Nightmare, was to be taken, to tell that old self that I laughed at it, that it didn’t have any power over me anymore, and to make her know I was going to be happy, have friends and there was nothing she could do about it.

It gave some ponies the scare of their lives, and I apologized to them afterwards, but it worked wonders to me. I was a stronger pony, a better one, the best me there could ever be, better than yesterday every single day.

When Doctor Wary told me that for the next step, he would need my sister, Princess Celestia to join our sessions, I didn’t hesitate. It was just a little uncomfortable to have her in here, because some things I told Wary were secret even for my dearest sister. But I had broken worse mental barriers before, so I let him do it and asked my sister, and she gladly agreed in order to help me.

The set up was a group therapy to just help me, but dear, was I wrong, and my dearest sister was on for a ride she never expected.

After a couple of hours, Doctor Wary Hooves, in the privacy of my personal chambers, surrounded by more protective spells and gaeas than I dare to count, using only honest words, sharper than the sharpest sword in the kingdom, managed to break through her.

I mean, her mask. If it were a physical object, it would have shattered dramatically like porcelain, and the floodgates were wide open.

Sorry, my dear diary, but the things that happened there are only for my dearest sister to tell, therefore I will not even share those with you, I hope you understand. I will only tell the consequences and how our sisterly relationship has evolved after that.

The point is that after so many years of hiding her feelings of guilt behind that mask of perfection, she had also harmed herself deeply, and an agreement was made, and tasks were assigned for her too.

As our breakfasts and dinners were the only times of our lives that we truly encountered each other in a calm and private place, she was instructed to ALWAYS break that mask for me, at least once every couple of days, and truly allow her imperfections and insecurities to be presented to me, so I could show her my own share of them.

After my sister’s unexpected outbreak, I asked Doctor Wary if that ‘group therapy’ was just a trick to drag my sister into it.

“We are all a little bit bonkers deep down inside, and I’m really good at my job.” He answered with a mischievous smile.

“At psychology thou mean?” I asked, astonished.

“Both, your Highness…” He cryptically answered and winked to me before giving me a court reverence and departing to his next assignment.

So, my dear diary, you might be confused right now. What does this have to do with anything? Why is it important right now? Why did I just make you read all of this?

It is indeed important because I have recently had one of those opportunities to mock my old self, and also an opportunity to gaze into my dearest sister’s insecurities…

***

“Good morning, Luna! How’s your night been!?” My oh so cheerful sister made herself known in the dining room. I hate morning ponies.

“Exhausting, my dearest sister…” I tried to add a little bit of venom to state I was in no mood. Of course, the point went flying over my sister, as always.

“Hope to cheer you up a little with my special pancakes!” She served me one of the infamous smiley pancakes she makes. Infamous because of my mood, they are actually pretty good.

I grumbled a little and decided to be silent for the time being. I hate morning ponies… and mornings…

I was in no mood, too tired for this right now, it’s too early in the morning, or too late in the morning in my case. I was not going to fight a battle I knew I couldn’t win.

Or could I…

As a flash of inspiration, something crossed my mind. Something that had happened tonight. My dearest sister had instructed me to do it, and she was really paranoid about the whole ordeal. Maybe I could make her morning just a little bit less cheerful.

“Oh, sister, about what you told me to do…” I innocently started.

“About what, my dear Lulu?” She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes.

“The dreamscape… I found him.”

“You found…” Her mask was already cracking, as I could see her right eye twitch.

“The alien.”

“Oh… The… Yes! The alien, of course!” She smiled back at me, though this time the smile was clearly a forced one.

“Tia… Remember your assignment…” I raised an eyebrow, and a drop of sweat ran down her face. Then she sighed, and I braced.

“Luna! Did you managed to get into his dreams!? You have to tell me! What did you find!? Is he dangerous!? Oh goodness, he is with my dearest Twilight… she could… he could… my ponies…” She started to pace back and forth.

“Yes, I was able to enter his dream.”

“What is he like!? Does it have claws or sharp teeth? Is it a monster in disguise!?”

“He adopted the shape of a colt the whole time, so I couldn’t tell.”

“Shapeshifting! He could be hiding something!”

“No… for the maker’s sake! Haven’t thou read Princess Twilight’s reports!?” I allowed myself a pause for chewing. That seemed to unnerve my sister even more.

“Yes, she said it is harmless, but you were having so much trouble finding him in the dreamscape… He is hiding something for sure!”

“It didn’t give me that impression, it was an innocent dream.”

“How can you tell?”

“Because I am the Princess of the Night and the Guardian of Dreams?”

“Did you follow my instructions?”

“About being discrete and extract as much information as possible without revealing myself?”

“Exactly…” She answered, expectantly.

“Yes…” I answered, looking away innocently.

“Thank goodness…” She sighed in relief.

“Mostly…” I smirked internally.

“Wait what!?” Back to staring daggers at me.

“I concealed myself as a character from his dream and took part in it, I had to play along the theme of the dream in order to not reveal myself, and I was able to put his character through a few trials to see how he would react.”

“Good, that’s good… but?”

“It is not the best path to do this kind of dream interactions so, when I was satisfied, I realized a fellow pony was in a little bit of distress. I revealed myself to calm them down, including the alien.”

“You what!? Luna! I told you not to!”

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Celestia… I am the Princess of the Night, after all.”

“Wait… did you mention another…”

“Yes, sister, it was a shared dream, that’s why I was able to find him, he was sharing a dream with another pony in the dreamscape. It’s the only way I was able to find him because he has no magic aura at all, not even in the dreamscape.” I explained.

“For two ponies to share a dream…” She started, alarmed at the implications.

“…They need to be close to each other.” I concluded for her.

“Oh no… he might have tricked somepony into being that close to him!”

“Or maybe he is an honest to goodness sweetheart and managed to truthfully be close friends with said somepony.” I provided a reasonable explanation.

“That too… but… we need to be careful, Luna. What could you gather about him?”

“Well, he is a surprisingly calm individual, he is loyal to his friends because he is willing to go out of his way to rescue them, he is nice even if you are not nice to him, he is kind and caring, even when facing an enemy, and he is kind of dense sometimes, quite adorable.”

“Huh…”

“Indeed, my dearest sister.”

“But what if… he was hiding under that mask to fool you? Could you sense anything? Was he being truthful?”

“I couldn’t feel anything apart from foal like honesty.”

“Huh…”

“Indeed, my dearest sister.”

“We need to be careful anyways… Oh, goodness… I even allowed my sweet Twilight to give him citizenship! What have I…”

“You did fine, Celestia! It was the right thing to do.” I reassured her.

“But what if…”

“Tia…”

“He could…”

“TIA!”

“But Luna!”

“You are going a little bit overboard with Wary’s task this time, you know, my dearest sister?”

“But… Bah… How dare you! I open up my heart as he told me to do and what I get is…”

“I mean… yes, I appreciate that, but…”

“I will let you know, Luna that I AM taking his advice VERY seriously, and that’s why I’m sharing things with you that I would never share with anypony else…” And she went on with her angry speech.

I used to wonder why Twilight could get so paranoid from time to time, and why emergency plans were put in place to prevent her from going highwire. Now I can guess from where it came from, at least a little bit.

She still needs a lot of work. I also had my own share of troubles when I first confronted the tasks Doctor Wary assigned me. I can’t wait for our next therapy session to tell him how this one went, but for now, some emergency measures are to be taken. Looking left and right for my way out of this, I spotted the perfect course of action.

Seems that in her paranoid ramblings and anxiety attack, my dearest sister hasn’t eaten much at all, and that has left a slice of strawberry cheesecake almost untouched in front of her.

“Oh, by the way, Celestia, are you going to eat that?” I innocently asked as I started to levitate the piece of cake away from her with my blue aura.

“YES, MY DEAR SISTER! Thank you very much…” A golden aura slammed the plate firmly in front of her, and she started to daintily, but angrily, stuff her face with a tiny silver spoon.

Yes. That prevented her from talking anymore, because it would require the sacrilege of talking with her mouth full. Soon, the clock chimed, marking the beginning of her daily tasks, and a royal guard came to accompany her to the throne room for the day court.

“Your Highness?”

“Yes, I’m ready.” She stood up and walked away elegantly, a pleasant and calm smile on her face. The mask was back on.

A calm, loyal, a little bit dense and absolutely adorable individual. Yes, sister is totally not going to turn around and suddenly have her motherly instincts attack the instant she truly meets him. Nope, not a chance…

As Doctor Wary Hooves said, we are all a little bit bonkers deep down inside.

***

It was a beautiful morning. After my escapade to the farm, it became kind of clear to Sunset Twin… wait… Twilight Sparkle! Where did I just hear that name again? It suddenly felt incredibly fitting for Purplesmart.

As I was mentioning… It became clear for Twilight that I wanted to be useful and wanted to get a job and push my own weight, stand on my own legs, and so on. Basically, I wanted to become financially independent eventually. If I worked really hard, I could probably afford my basic needs, but I still needed to gather information about rental prices in this area.

I went to the town hall and found a familiar note on the bulletin board for ‘help requests’, one with a handwriting (Hoofwriting? Mouthwriting?) I recognized. It had a couple of apples drawn next to the text, and I could identify the word ‘apple’ and ‘farm’, so it was clear where I needed to head, and so I did.

This time went a little bit different. When I arrived in the farm, the old mare immediately recruited me for helping her in the kitchen. Maybe I couldn’t defy Newton’s universal law of gravitation, but I could still pick up apples, knives and cooking utensils pretty efficiently, and slice and dice with unrivaled precision among the ponies.

I ended up helping Granny cooking for the whole morning. She talked a lot, but I barely understood anything. I got the general idea she talked a lot about her granddaughter, Apple-something… Because she mentioned her name a lot and pointed at her every single time she came across. The orange mare in question seemed to blush, talk to Granny in a hushed tone and then went away as quickly as possible.

The last encounter between the two of them went a little bit worse. Granny and Apple-something, the orange one, ended up in a heated-up argument. I barely caught anything, but I was apparently part of it.

I was able to catch from Granny something about being part of the family, and the orange one said something and I was able to catch something about me, that she was not interested in something and I was not a pony.

Was she being racist?

I had no idea; she hid a blushing face (her blush was adorable with her freckles) under her cowboy hat and ran away.

After that, and with no more items to cook, Granny gave me sixteen coins (I guess she was rounding it in base four) and one of the apple pies we baked together. And also talked to me.

I caught an apology and something about me being a good stallion despite walking on two legs, whatever that meant, and being very skilled in the kitchen. I thanked her for her compliments and said goodbye.

Today I arrived in the schoolhouse a little bit early, and Cheery… lee? Where did I… I mean, the teacher mare was still in the playground, and there was still a little colt playing in the sand pit, and she was entertaining him, teaching him how to build a sand castle. She was probably waiting for his parents to come and pick him up.

Something felt oddly familiar, like a deja vu sensation.

“Hi, Miss Cheerilee!” I greeted her.

“Oh, Smarty, you said my name with a very good pronunciation! I’m impre… ssed…” She seemed to stutter in the end and suddenly looked away. Was she blushing? It was hard to tell, she was kind of pink after all, maybe a trick of the light.

For some reason I got the urge to sit down and mess around in the sand pit, but I didn’t, I’m an adult after all. How lucky was Cheerilee, she could play as much as she wanted without it being awkward, as she was taking care of the foals.

Today the classes went as usual, nothing to write home about, just how I liked. Slow progress and predictability. Cheerilee acted a little bit weird and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but apart from that, as usual. We all have our ups and downs; I don’t blame her.

Back to my routine, back to my room in Twilight’s castle, back to the familiar icon on the screen of my phone… back to still no signal.

Author's Note

Oh, no... would you just look at this!? I accidentally did some world-building and headcanon, how despicable!

And yes, this is kind of the other part of the dream chapter and it gives some answers. Added a little bit of fluff in the end, just in case.

27- A dairy daily job, at long... last?

“Oh, good morning, sir. I look for ‘help offer’ to earn bits.” I ventured when I saw one of the ponies who was looking at the board take a piece of paper to put it there.

“I am the milk pony. My milk is delicious.” He just answered.

The guy just appeared out of nowhere, carrying a basked with a few bottles of milk. That wouldn’t have been strange, we are near the market place after all, but what stood out of this pony was that he was wearing a white jacket. His modesty was preserved though by not wearing any pants. He had a dusty blue coat and jet-black mane and tail.

“If you need bits, I need help. My name is Dairy Cooper, by the way.” He said offering me the flyer he was about to stick to the board.

“Smarty Pants… The pleasure is mine.” I took the piece of paper.

“Special delivery today… and this one is for you.” He offered me a bottle of milk.

“Oh, thank you very much. What you need me to do?”

“This afternoon, in the cow barn. It’s south of here, down the main street, then turn right and walk until you come out of town, you will see the barn. I will be waiting this afternoon, but now I have to deliver this milk to my customers.”

“I will be there, thank you, sir.”

He nodded and walked away.

Such a peculiar pony indeed. He always looked like his stare was lost in the middle distance and he talked in short simple phrases. That worked just fine for me, as I was unable to catch it when a pony went on rambling, used grammatically complex structures or just talked too fast.

I was going to be unable to attend class this afternoon though, so I went to inform Cheerilee (huh, that’s her actual name indeed) to the schoolhouse. I waited for the recess and when she came out, I greeted and told her. She said it was no problem at all. Was she blushing again?

Twilight Sparkle was another thing…

She was at her desk, engrossed with something she was writing.

“Hey, Twilight…” I greeted the purple pony.

“Uh… huh…” She acknowledged my existence, but nothing more. Only the scratching of her quill could be heard in the quiet library.

“I will skip class today. I have job the afternoon.” I informed.

“Huh…” Scritch scratch… dip, dip… scritch scratch… and so on.

“Twilight, you listen me?”

“In a minute, Spike…” Scritch scratch… dip, dip… scritch scratch…

“I see…”

She continued her scribbling. Probably some princess paperwork or something. Maybe her research or a letter to the bigger princesses… I could just go and leave it at that. She wouldn’t discover anyways. Maybe I just could come back after work and tell her my classes went alright, but I was no liar. I would tell her that I had been working instead, and that would probably get her angry or something. I could deal with it later on, but some part of me urged to mess with her just a little bit.

I pushed the inkwell a couple of inches forward with a finger and waited for it to happen.

Scritch scratch… click, clack… scritch scratch… scratch… scritch… scratch? She looked at the nib for a moment, then again tried to dip it in the inkwell, only for it to click-clack on the table.

“Huh…” She frowned at the slightly out of place ink bottle.

“Twilight?” I asked the moment she was out of her trance.

“Oh, hello, Smarty!” She finally greeted me while her magic aura pushed the inkwell back into the perfect spot with a frown.

“I got help offer this afternoon. Talked with Cheerilee and no problem to skip one class.”

“Uh… Smarty, you shouldn’t do that. I will cover your expenses, but your education is important.” She said, deliberately slow for me to understand.

“Cheerilee told it was okay.”

“Okay, but don’t make a *unknown noise* out of it, alright? And study to catch up.” She replied, with a frown.

“Okay, okay. I always study, Twilight.”

“Huh… you finally said my name correctly…” She muttered for herself.

“See? I learn.” I concluded.

We finally said our goodbyes and after a remarkably unremarkable morning and having lunch with the bunch of inhabitants of the castle, I went to the streets and followed Cooper’s instructions to get to the barn.

***

“Don’t worry, Muriel, Cooper said he would bring somepony to help today.” Said Monisha

“I worry indeed, Monisha. Last time, the mare he brought had no idea about how to milk a cow! And hooves are hard, you know.” Replied Muriel

“Imagine if he brought a handsome minotaur!” Said Monica.

“Mind out of the gutter, Monica, stay professional, girl. And you know, not all minotaurs know how to do the job.” Added Monisha.

“But they sure know how to treat a cow…” She fluttered her eyelashes in a dreamy expression.

“Or they just might be a prick like that Iron Will…” Added Muriel.

“It was just the one, Muriel. Stop rubbing salt in the wound!” Monica hmphed.

“Uh… girls? There is somepony coming our way. Or I might just say… somecreature… Wait… Is he a minotaur!?” Monisha exclaimed.

A round of gasps went through the barn as the cows hurried to the fence to take a look at who was coming. Indeed, it wasn’t a pony at all.

“He looks like a minotaur indeed…” Said Muriel.

“Oh, but he has no horns… and looks kind of scrawny.” Added Monica.

“Uh… girls, I don’t think it’s a good idea. If he is ill, I don’t want him anywhere near my udders. Also, he should be resting and recovering.” Monisha took a step back.

“I have heard something about a weird creature, maybe he is no minotaur at all!” Continued Monica.

“Let’s see if he has any idea about how to be around a cow…” Concluded Muriel.

The weird creature went inside the barn, and after a few minutes, Dairy Cooper and him emerged from the back door, carrying the buckets and a wooden stool.

“Good afternoon, girls, this is Mr Pants, he will help us today.” Said the pony.

“Uh… good after… noon?” The creature seemed to hesitate.

The cows all seemed to timidly nod their heads, then looked at each other.

“They are pleasant ladies, Mr Pants. You will have no trouble with them. I have to go now, will be back in a couple of hours. Just do what I told you to do, got it?” Dairy Cooper explained.

“Of course, sir. I got it.” The creature suddenly seemed a little less confident.

The cows retreated a little bit and formed a circle to discuss the situation in hushed tones.

“I’m not letting him touch my udders, no way…” Said Monisha.

“Hmmm… So, is he not ill? Is he just a weird creature? He looks kind of like a minotaur…” Monica smiled a little bit.

“So, you want to go first, Monica? Just remember, mind out of the gutter…” Chided Muriel.

“Uh… I’ll let you go first, Muriel.”

“I’m always testing the grounds. You two should at least step up a little bit. My udders are still sore from the last time we had to teach that mare how to milk a cow.” Muriel protested.

“Nope. No way.” Monisha took a step back.

“I’ll never take away that pioneering spirit of yours, dear.” Monica smiled at Muriel.

“Goodness gracious, you two… Okay, I’ll go first this time… again…”

And so, it was decided. Muriel came close to the creature and adjusted herself near the stool he was sitting on. Monisha took a step back and was watching from a distance, pretending to be ruminating while Monica laid down near Muriel and watched intently. The creature seemed to steel his nerves a little bit.

“Okay… here we go…” He said. Under the watchful eyes of the three cows, he started to milk one of them, Muriel, yes… that one.

Muriel’s face was scrunched in anticipation, like that of a child waiting for an injection or someone bracing for a blow or something painful, but that face didn’t last too long, as she gradually relaxed.

“So?” Asked Monica.

That seemed to startle Mr. Pants a little bit, like he didn’t expect her at all, but he continued. Muriel just nodded in approval, but remained silent, and that sparked a smirk on Monica’s face and Monisha let go a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

Mr. Pants took a glance back at Monica and saw her intently watching him, then looked around, quite bemused.

“We are not made out of wet paper, dear, you can go a little bit harder on her. You will finish faster that way.” That could have been a perfectly innocent statement if not for Monica’s half lidded eyes.

Now the creature was properly startled. He went from his normal color to pale white and then blushed.

“Monica, stay away. Some creatures feel awkward if you stare at them too much while doing the job.” Chided Muriel.

“Oh, you are no fun.” She turned around and walked away.

“It’s quite alright, dear, don’t listen to her, she’s always the troublemaker.” Muriel tried to calm down the creature.

“Uh… oh… kay…” He replied, while concentrating on his job.

“And you are doing fine, dear, it’s a nice change of pace not having to teach the new pony how to do it all over again.”

“Th… Thanks… you too…” He stuttered.

“Hmmm, a bull of few words, I see.” Muriel muttered to herself.

After a little while, Smarty finished with Muriel, and when she asked who wanted to be next, the answer was clear. There, grinning like a loon was Monica, and even Monisha was stealing nervous glances their way.

“Do me! Do me!” She giggled and pranced in place.

After an awkward moment, they were all set up and he continued doing his job.

“Uhhh… that’s soft. I wouldn’t mind having you around for the milking business.” Remarked Monica in a kind of questionable tone.

“Indeed, dear, those paws of yours are much better than hooves. Even better than a minotaur’s hands.” Said Muriel with emphasis on the ‘minotaur’ part while frowning at Monica antics, trying to re-rail her derailing of the situation.

“Muriel! Did you get a minotaur to…! Oh dear, I can’t believe it!” Exclaimed Monica.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, Monica. I have worked for many farms already.” Explained Muriel, unfazed.

“I want all the juicy details.” She grinned at her.

The creature continued doing his job with the occasional giggle and awkward moment provided by the outgoing Monica, who took particular delight in pestering their hired worker. Finally, it was Monisha’s turn.

The shy cow approached in a very professional manner, and made it easy for him to do his job, she just stood there, with a pensive expression. Monica and Muriel, knowing their friend and cow-worker (huh…) wouldn’t appreciate it, they didn’t interrupt. Also, the creature was already paler than milk itself. If he wasn’t feeling alright, he ought to finish as soon as possible.

Soon, the job was indeed done, and Mr. Pants, the weird minotaur looking creature, took the buckets of milk inside for the pasteurization process before filling up the bottles for the next day. It was a weird change in schedule, as the milking process usually took place in the morning and the deliveries in the afternoon, but as always when a new worker joined the farm, they were a little more flexible at first. And also, the extra milk would go to places like the Leaf Tavern and Sugarcube Corner. Those got iceboxes that kept the milk fresh, so it wouldn’t be a problem. There was also an icebox in the farm, just in case they got a surplus like today.

Mr. Pants also seemed quite deft dealing with machines, like if it was his second nature. The three cows watched from the windows how he operated everything with clockwork precision and got the right buttons and levers actuated. He seemed to be recovering a little bit of color.

He also seemed to be purposefully ignoring the three pair of bovine eyes fixed on him while doing the job. Machines didn’t judge, they just did what they were supposed to do, and indeed didn’t talk back or provided chit-chat while working. That (the chit-chat), believe it or not, might be a plus in some situations, but other individuals preferred the quiet and silence to concentrate on the task at hand.

The job was inspected and Cooper found it satisfactory, excellent, some might add. It was second nature for this creature, his hands were dexterous and his knowledge of machines was sharp, he could be a valuable asset for the farm. Only ponies had cutie marks, but some of the farm workers thought that if he could get one, it would probably be a dairy related one.

As the creature walked away, the three cows leaned on the fence to watch him walk into the sunset, just like a cheesy western movie ending.

“He didn’t say goodbye…” Muttered Monisha.

“He is a bull of few words it seems.” Acknowledged Muriel.

“And he does the job just fine…” Remarked Monica.

“And you scared him away.” Monisha frowned at Monica.

“I what?” Monica looked offended.

“You hurt his feelings with your indecent remarks, and he is a pure and innocent bull for sure.”

“Oh, come on!” Monica said.

“It was quite okay for his first day, if we are lucky, we could have a regular worker in him.” Muriel added.

“I hope it too…” Monisha had a dreamy expression for a moment.

“Monisha?” Monica asked, a little bewildered.

“Good bye, Mr Pants! I hope you come back!” Monisha shouted at him and waved her hooves.

The creature seemed to flinch a little bit, looked back and waved at her. The cow smiled at him and watched him go until he was lost from sight when he took a bend in the way heading to the town.

“He is not coming back…” Monisha sighed and turned around, looking sad.

The silence stretched as the other two cows watched their friend walk away, then they looked into each other.

“It’s always the quiet ones…” They whispered at the same time.

***

Back in the castle, the apetaur returned, but he didn’t say a word, he directly headed to his room. This, on its own was kind of weird, as he usually at least said hello. Spike was the first to notice and he went to his room to check on him and Twilight followed soon.

“Is he really going to be okay?” Twilight asked.

“Um… I think the best thing we can do is to give him some space, I don’t think he is in the mood for a chat.” The small dragon waved his claws in front of him.

“Uh…huh… You are the expert here, Spike…”

“Hey, dude, are you okay?” Spike asked.

“They… talk…” He muttered.

“What does he mean with that?” Twilight asked.

“Um… I think it’s the cows he is referring to…”

“Cows… they… talk…” The apetaur sat on top of his bed, embracing his own legs with his arms and rocking back and forth, his eyes were unfocused.

“Um… of course, they talk, Smarty…” Twilight confirmed.

“Equestria to Smarty? Hey dude!” Spike waved, but the apetaur didn’t respond.

“Yeah… let’s give him some space, he is not responding to any signal…”

Author's Note

This chapter is fortified with what the world wants, what the world deserves.

28- Tea with Yellowings, at long last.

After yesterday’s jarring experience I felt exhausted beyond measure. No work was to be done today. I was starting to hoard a considerable number of golden coins after my few employment experiences in the pony system. Probably not enough to rent my own house, probably not even enough to pay for a simple room, and I was in no mood to share a house right now.

Well, I was technically sharing a house, but it was a castle, so it didn’t count. And it was provided by Twilight Sparkle, and I wanted to be able to provide my own accommodation as soon as possible, but not right now, I needed some time to recover.

Today was, therefore, my self-appointed free day from work, and I ought to do something. Considering that my computer, TV, games and other hobbies required… well, said things to be enjoyed, that limited my options. I could ho hiking to the forest, maybe that way I could manage to get lost and suddenly appear back in a regular forest and then get a GPS signal, call for help and so on, or maybe manage to get myself eaten by the local fauna, so that was out of the question too for now. There was just one option left I could think of...

Socialize.

I could almost understand everything the local equines said, and maybe form semi coherent sentences by now. That meant that trying to socialize or chit-chat with anyone would be technically possible, but extra awkward, and I wasn’t exactly an extrovert person.

I needed an isolated environment, someone that wouldn’t intimidate me and at the same time be pleasant to be around. A quiet, calm and kind individual…

The perfect one was Yellowings, or as her real name was, if I understood it correctly, something like Timid Wingbeats… close enough.

That’s the reasoning and story of how I ended up, after walking along the quaint dirt path, in front of the little adorable, grass covered, cottage. The faint but distinct smell of a pet shop brought back some memories and kind of soothed me. That smell that was composed of an unknown number of different critters coexisting in the same enclosure, and not all of them housebroken yet. Not overwhelming, not really unpleasant, but it was still there. The yellow winged mare was really clean, and when she was taking care of me, I was, for the most part, unable to tell there was a smell at all because I got used to it, but now that I was coming back from the outside, I could tell it was definitely there.

I knocked on the door and I got a faint squeak in return. Yes, that’s her, but after being so forward and friendly with me I had no idea how she suddenly became the shy and reclusive mare she was. Out of the initial bunch of ponies I met, she was the one I saw fewer times lately, almost like she was avoiding me.

The door latch clicked and the door opened just a creak, and through that I could see the big, cautious aquamarine eye peeking at me.

“Uh… good morning, Timid Wingbeat.”

“Eeep!” She sounded like a squeaky toy, and then a few quiet horse noises were heard, but I couldn’t really translate them.

“I came visit; long time no see.” I greeted her.

More unknown horse noises.

“I no understand. Repeat?”

“Hello, Smarty, I was… (more unknown noises)” She said quietly, going back down in volume at the end of the sentence.

“Are you busy now? Come visit other day?” I was starting to worry she was too busy or just didn’t want me around, so I provided to her a polite way to send me away, just in case.

“Feeding the (unknown noise) and… um… cleaning the (unknown noise) box… Um…” She said, and I struggled to catch most of it.

“Oh, sorry. I come back other day.” I said.

“No! I mean… um… (more unknown horse noises explanations)”

“I… no understand. Repeat again?” I awkwardly asked.

“Um… want some tea?”

“I would love to.” I replied with a learned formula.

She opened the door and allowed me in. It was the same room in which she took care of me for the first time, but now the fireplace was just some embers and the worn green couch where I slept was there. I took a seat there and waited while she operated the kitchen.

Something that struck me as odd was how difficult was to understand her in her own language compared to how well we understood each other back in the day she rescued me. I couldn’t catch any word, but her meaning was almost always clear, and I got the sensation she also understood me, but now it was harder than before, it required a conscious effort just to listen to her.

Maybe if…

“Thank you very much, Yellowings. I wanted to say thank you ever since I got to live in Twilight’s Castle, but I couldn’t find the occasion to say it. You saved me.” I told her in plain English as soon as she came back carrying a cute little silvery tray with two cups of tea.

“Oh, um… it was nothing…” She replied in a much more understandable volume and without the stuttering.

“I don’t know how you are able to understand me in my own language, Yellowings, but it worked back then, so I supposed I could try again.”

“It’s just my special talent, I can understand what all critters say and… (unknown noise that meant ‘communicate with them’ for sure.)”

“Well… but I am a stallion from my species.” I tried to convey in her own language now that I was indeed not a regular critter. I used the word ponies used to refer to a male pony to define me.

“A sta.. lli… um.. eek!” And the stutter was back, and she blushed profusely.

I started to deduce something else too. It wasn’t my inability to understand pony language what mostly prevented me to understand her, it was that when I used her own language, for some reason, she reduced her volume and stuttered.

I could catch the sound, the volume wasn’t that low, but the stutter completely disrupted the rhythms and flow of the sounds the pony language needed in order to function, so the message was lost.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Her blush deepened and she nodded in a jerky and awkward fashion.

I was starting to see a pattern. Every time I tried to talk in her language, she seemed to tense up, and every time I said it in plain English, she seemed to relax. It was really weird.

“Please, Yellowings, it’s your own house, take a seat, my legs are starting to hurt by just looking at you standing there in front of me.” I tested my theory by using my own language again.

“Oh, um… sorry about that…” Indeed, she seemed to relax a little, but not completely, as she cautiously climbed on top of the sofa, allowing a generous distance between us.

I pushed the low table closer to us, so our tea would be withing easy reach. I grabbed my cup and put one sugar and a half in it.

“Sugar?” I asked.

“Um… yes, please. Two and… are you going to use that half of a sugar cube?”

“Not at all. One is too little, two is a little too much for me.” I replied.

“May I…”

“Of course.” I smiled as I served her tea with two and a half sugar.

Out of the ponies, I knew this one was the one I was going to be able to communicate more easily, she understood anything I told her, but her stuttering when I tried to use her language was going to be an issue.

After an exploratory sip of my drink, I tried another approach.

“Why are you all shy when I use your language?” Well, there is no better approach than to be direct when you run out of ideas.

“I… um… I’m… It reminds me that you are not a critter…” She hid behind her mane locks.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I treated you as a forest critter and I’m so sorry about it!” She curled a little bit on herself and lowered her head, her ears flat against her skull.

“I don’t mind it at all. It was a misunderstanding and you saved my life after all.”

I reached out and put my hand under her muzzle and gently lifted it so she looked directly at me again. She did that squeaky toy impression and tensed up. Not really sure of what to do after the initial physical contact I started to scratch a little bit her chin like if she was a cat.

Her wide eyes slowly closed little by little; I could feel more and more weight being rested on my hand. She relaxed and ended up pressing a little bit into my hand, as if she was demanding more pets.

It was a bizarre situation, and I started it out of instinct, but now that it was happening, I just had to roll with it. Maybe a little adorable revenge for treating me as an animal, I would pet her! Or something…

Truth be told, she was an adorable fluffy thing, and she seemed starved for affection. If her shy personality and reclusive nature were something to go by, it was a plausible explanation.

“If your special talent helps you to understand me, I don’t mind it even if I am a sapient being, I like being around you.” I told her.

“Um… this is really nice…” She muttered, but she wasn’t stuttering so it was understandable.

She looked up at me and her eyes almost sparkled in the morning light as I used my other hand to pet her silky mane.

“I would like to be friends with you, Timid Wingbeat.” I told her, using the pony language now that she was relaxed.

She blushed and tensed up a little bit, then she pursed her lips in an adorable way as she thought about her answer. She exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding and then came her answer.

“I would very much like it… if… if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course.”

She smiled back at me.

“Um… and if you don’t mind… its… Fluttershy. My name is Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy… They call me Smarty Pants.” I replied.

“Uhu…”

It was a weird mix. When Fluttershy was in the flow and used her ‘special talent’ thing, we were able to perfectly understand each other. I was able to use my own language for a word I didn’t have yet and she caught the meaning of it immediately, and when I was unable to recognize a pattern for a word, somehow, I knew what it was meant to be. When not in the flow, she was a blushing stuttering mess. Adorable both ways.

“Um… It was really nice.” She said.

“Nice? What?”

“The… um… petting? It was relaxing, thank you.”

“Oh… that… I’m sorry, I didn’t think before acting.” I apologized.

“Oh, not at all, it was really nice. I feel relaxed, like if I had just had a spa session with Rarity.”

“Rare… Thing?”

“Rarity, the white unicorn.”

“Rarity…” I muttered the correct pronunciation for her name.

“She invites me to the spa very often, she might like what you do with your paws.”

“If you say so…” I looked at my hands as if they were a magical artifact.

“Oh, I know! Next time you come to visit, I will call Rarity so she can try it! Um… that is if… you don’t mind, of course.” She proposed.

“Huh… maybe? If she lets me, I wouldn’t mind trying it.”

“O… okay, I will tell her next time.”

We finished our drinks and I decided I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, if she was as introverted as she seemed, she wouldn’t appreciate me being around too much, and probably recharge her social batteries or something. I could imagine.

The completely unrelated fact that there were two identical green standing lamps on one corner of the room, and I felt unnaturally unnerved by it also supported my decision. I didn’t remember Fluttershy having two identical lamps like those, and if she had, those would be more efficiently situated in opposite corners of the room, not one near the other. And I felt like one of them hated me. I guess I’m not as stable as I thought I was, I still needed time.

So, I decided enough was enough and said my goodbyes. She escorted me to the door and said her farewell.

As I walked along the dirt path, I remembered that I came from that forest near the cottage. Maybe that forest was the gate that could take me home again somehow. Well, or get eaten by the local fauna. Anyways, it couldn’t hurt, if the gate was open, maybe this place was closer to my universe than I thought and I could catch something with my phone. Probably better than the previous idea of just go hiking there. I grabbed my phone just in case and, after a little drumroll I made with my fingers as I waited…

…Still no signal.

Author's Note

Well, I want the story to advance, but I need to watch certain episodes to make it match. I also had this idea in mind and now I can fit a couple of things before moving on. And this chapter could as well serve me as a set up for another chapter I had planned long time ago, but needed to decide how to place it.

So, here we have it, some more nice fluff.

30- Worldbuilding! At long last!

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this is not possible, this is not possible…

I could hear the scrambling of hooves around me, like a nightmare, like the predators stalking the prey, they turned me into a pony, but this was not possible… this was NOT possible.

I think at one point I fainted after my full-blown panic. I could feel the cold sweat covering my neck, the adrenaline pumping.

A myriad of scenarios played in my mind. Maybe this whole civilization was about getting humans and eventually turning them into ponies, and that is how they reproduced, by infecting humans, and now I was one of them. I trashed and tossed around in the bed.

This isn’t happening…

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

THIS CAN’T HAPPEN!

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Wait… in bed…

With a jolt and a gasp for fresh air I woke up.

Suddenly I felt well-coordinated and I used my… hand? To wipe away the sweat from my brow.

I was surrounded by ponies of all colors and types, for some reason, when I could focus on them, they all seemed to be worried about me.

Purplesmart was there, at the bed’s side with her horn alight and an expression as if she had seen a ghost.

Pink pony was there too, not smiling as she used to do, which was on itself worrisome.

Rare Thing was there, mildly horrified, and Timid Wingbeat was also there. She looked determined and almost… angry?

Rainbow Run was there too, hovering midair and not really sure of what to do, as she always did when there was something she was supposed to be worried about but had no idea about how to act.

Apple Something was also there, near Purplesmart, also a determined look on her face, but somehow relieved about something.

There was also that hideous thing at the end of the room, the thing I had a dream of, a thing that looked like they had made it out of chunks of other creatures, but he was… surprisingly small and shy? Timid Wingbeats was from time to time throwing a scowling glance in his direction, and it made him squirm uncomfortably.

There were more ponies around, for example Smartylocks, the kind of other Purplesmart, who was at the door, a foreleg raised and not really sure if she ought to come in or not. There was also the teacher pony, Cheery, near her, and she had a mix of worry and… a blush? With her magenta coloring it was really hard to tell, probably a trick of the light.

“Are you okay sugar cube?” the orange cowboy mare asked.

“Ugh… I think I had a nightmare… uh… why are all of you here?”

“We were worried ‘bout you y’know? One second you were turned into a…” the orange mare started, but Purplesmart interrupted.

“Sorry, Smarty. I thought you got… really really sick and we didn’t know what to… do…” She seemed to hesitate. The cowboy mare scowled at her for some reason.

“Yes, darling, no need to alarm him. Everything is okay now, isn’t it Twilight?” Rare Thing added.

“Yes… everything is alright.” She still seemed shaken.

For some reason, the sleeves of my pajamas were all twisted, and the bottom part was half of the way out, I had to adjust them. Damn… such an intense nightmare, it was a surprise I didn’t fall out of the bed. I also felt drained and my throat was sore from the screaming.

“Shouldn’t we kind of… let him breathe?” the small lizard came out and said out loud.

“That seems like the reasonable thing to do, Spike,” Purplesmart said.

“Okay, everypony! The crisis was averted and everyone is okay, let’s give this gentlestallion some space to recover!” Rare Thing said, and started to evacuate the room.

“We should keep an eye on him too… Um, like… just in case he needs something,” Cheery added.

“Yes, after what he went through, we should definitely keep an eye on him,” the other Purplesmart said.

What on earth did just happen? Why was everypon… wait… Oh, I think I’m going a little bit native with the translations there already. Anyways… Everyone was acting really weird. Was this some freakish magic nightmare? They had a princess for that too, maybe that’s why they were so worried.

The weird mixed-up creature snapped his claws (that gave me the chills again, as I remembered the nightmare), but somehow it just caused a weird spark and a sizzle. Then he looked at me with… worry? Fear? I couldn’t quite read it in that alien face, but he also seemed eager to get out of here. Yellowings scowled again at him and said something, but it was too quick and too low for me to hear clearly, so I couldn’t quite catch it. It was directed at the creature and he seemed hurt by it. I was still unable to catch everything when they talked too fast, but they all seemed quite considerate and talked extra slowly around me, so I could catch almost everything at this point, except when they didn’t want me to hear it.

“What’s going on?” i asked again.

“Some magic thing… We think it affected you, but you seem alright now. We want to keep an eye, just in case,” the other Purplesmart said. What was her name? Light of star sparkles or something of the sorts?

“So… was it a… magical nightmare?”

“Yeah? Kind of?” Light of Star made a funny face, and Apple Something seemed like she had just licked a lemon. I got the impression there was something else going on, but I felt drained to continue praying for answers.

“I see…” i just conceded.

“I need to write an urgent *unknown and fast noise*, can anypony stay with him for a while?”

“I am free right now; I can do that,” the teacher mare said.

“Thank you, Cheerilee. I’ll be back as soon as I finish,” Purplesmart said.

“Don’t worry, Twilight, take as much time as you need. I think Smarty is comfortable around me, we are good friends after all, aren’t we?” Cheery said.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, come on, Smarty. One of these days we are going to hit my cousin’s bar and I’ll invite you for a couple of drinks.” She smiled and teased me again. The mares again being the ones paying for the males, what a world.

“Not feeling like it right now, to be honest. I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Let me help you then! I’ll tuck you in!”

I deadpanned at her, and she smiled cheekily.

“I can do that on my own, thank you.”

“Oh, come on, you are no fun… Alright, alright. Sorry about that, I couldn’t resist.” She giggled.

“My goodness, please, get a foal or something…” i murmured.

“Ouch! Right in the feels, you little shit…” She posed dramatically as if struck by a gun.

I couldn’t help myself and snorted a laugh… Yes… Snorted and then giggled a little, felt again like going native with the snort, and she joined the giggling afterwards.

She looked left and right suspiciously, like checking if no one was hearing (Purplesmart was anyways) and hushed, “Apart from that, If I wanted a foal, I need to get a stallion first.”

“No… really? Who told you that?” I regained my deadpan.

“No one did! I think it’s a secret. I found out in a book!”

“Errr… do you need anything, or are you two alright?” Purplesmart cleared her throat. She was pursing her lips and had an unimpressed look on her face.

“Oh! A glass of water and a pitcher, just in case he gets thirsty,” she responded calmly, like nothing was going on.

“Got it, maybe make it two glasses, just in case,” Spike said, the small lizard and he bolted out of the room.

And so, we were left alone. She took a chair near the bed and I tried to go back to sleep, but it was slightly awkward with the mare near me. At some point she got a book from my bookshelf (really, this place had bookshelves everywhere) and so she was distracted, only then I could relax a little bit more and eventually went back to sleep.

***

Dear Princess Celestia.

I need to inform you of the latest developments regarding the apetaur creature I am taking care of right now. By the look of it, Discord paid him a visit and turned him into a pony as part of one of his sick pranks, you know him.

That on its own should not be a problem, as Fluttershy could reason with Discord and make him turn Smarty back into his original form. It was a very stressful situation for the alien, but that is not the actual reason I am writing this report.

When the apetaur was turned into a pony, he panicked and obviously I heard him scream, so I came to investigate and found out about this whole predicament. The first reaction I had, as a competent mage, was to perform a magical scan. I could already imagine this was Discord’s fault, but I wanted to make sure it was indeed chaos magic.

I know for a fact that this creature has a strong resistance to magic, but the level of resistance seems to vary widely depending on the situation. It was a mystery until now.

To the point. Halfway through the scanning process, I could already discern the complex random patterns characteristic of chaos magic, something started to happen. I could feel a magic pull. Suddenly, I needed much more mana to maintain the spell, and after a while I could not even maintain it at all.

Before my own simple spell collapsed, I felt the chaos magic being also affected by this phenomenon. Drained from the mana, even the chaotic patterns began to fail and even Discord’s spell started to lose consistency until it collapsed on its own. Normally, this is a huge risk, as chaos magic tends to backfire in unpredictable ways, or the raw energy put into it tends to make a brute force dispelling almost unthinkable, but it happened.

To my surprise, all that energy did not come back in a feedback loop overload (that could have resulted in a destructive reaction), it just simply disappeared, violating Clover’s Mana Conservation Principle.

Raw mana or magical energy being pulled by force, disabling all magical reactions and spells, weakening all lifeforms all around it and rendering powerful wizards useless. On my whole life, I have only witnessed a similar sensation once, only one creature could create a negative mana field like that. Only Tirek could drain it like that and use it for his own benefit.

I was expecting something to happen, I was wondering if such a huge mana drain could affect the apetaur in some way, but to my surprise, he just continued to be his normal self and deduced this transformation incident was just a very intense nightmare. He does not look like magically charged, quite the opposite. My theory is that in some situations, he can act as a mana sink, interfering with all the magic surrounding him and neutralizing any spell. All that mana seems lost or transported, as I could not find any trace or residue of it and the ambient magic seemed lower all around him. After the incident passed, the ambient mana began to slowly recover.

After watching the reverse transformation happen, there was a midway point when he was half pony and half his original self, and that was when I realized it.

This apetaur creature might be related to a centaur as well. Half equine, half apetaur. And following this deduction everything started to fall into place.

This apetaur creature is not a weird alien, unrelated to all Equus species, as we all deduced at the beginning, actually, the case is quite literally the opposite, and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

I believe we have found a lost and unknown Primordial.

A centaur is a beastfolk creature half equine and half an unknown Primordial. A minotaur is a beastfolk creature half bovid and half an unknown Primordial, and the list goes on. Diamond Dogs, Catfolk…

All or almost all beastfolk biped creatures share this similar structure, and our science deduced all of them came from an unknown and common Primordial species that came to Equus and went extinct for some reason, or got so mixed up that no traces of the original could be found.

I will continue to observe him, but his existence might be much more transcendental to our whole world than we initially imagined. We already know he came from an advanced civilization, and we already know there are more of his species living somewhere.

This might end up not only being a scientific breakthrough, but also a sociological and diplomatic predicament, as we, as heralds of friendship, ought to bring friendship and magic to all creatures to live in harmony.

Smarty, therefore, might be the first of many of his species to come in contact with us if we manage to establish the link. We need to take advantage of this situation and study their culture and biology to better understand how to approach them as a whole.

Sincerely yours, Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Note

Well, as I promised, 1st of July I would come back and continue this. I wanted to have a buffer of chapters, but Life TM and distractions got in the way. I haven't built up said buffer, but I think I'm going to have more time and energy to write this Summer.

Revised and corrected by: Tincho argentum 9002

Thank you very much for your help!

31- The Punch of the joke, at long last!

“Yeah… that happened,” i concluded.

“I can’t believe it, why didn't they tell me?” Smarty replied, forgetting a little bit about the Harmonian patterns.

“To spare you, I guess…”

“Spare me from what?”

“Well, Smarty. I don’t know your culture that much, but here, if a pony was transformed into another creature, it would be a big deal for them and everypony around them. If malicious it could be a borderline criminal.”

“Mal… bor… hey, slow down a little, Cheery, I barely caught that,” he protested.

“I suppose Twilight Sparkle was slightly concerned about your full-blown panic attack so she…”

“Purple Smart…” He frowned.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle…” i corrected. “She probably thought you were in a very delicate mental state and wanted to spare you from further… crazy stuff.”

“So I really be… was pony for small time,” he said.

“Yeah, you were a pony for a little while,” I confirmed.

“Here, your drinks, cuties…” Berry Punch interrupted, a mischievous smile already starting to form around her muzzle.

The alien took his mug of only slightly spiced sweet ale and took a long sip, a nice and mild choice for a stallion. I did likewise and drank from my only-double Berry Punch’s special… Berry Punch, something a little bit more… punchy than his drink.

Today was a slow day at the bar. No market day, no special event, no local holiday. There were just a couple of customers here and there. At the beginning I thought that would be a great idea, to get Smarty away from crowds and let him relax, buy him a drink or two (he is a full-grown alien stallion and can handle it so I’m doing absolutely nothing wrong taking a student out for a drink), but I miscalculated a little detail.

Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t…

“So, cuz… you finally got the ti…”

“SHUT UP!” I interrupted my cousin Berry Punch before she could say something inappropriate.

“Ooooooh… so you really did!” she continued her onslaught, her shit-eating muzzle-wrapping smile growing a hair.

Silly cousin Berry Punch… she forced me to do it… I’m not at work right now, but she absolutely forced me to do it. I inhaled, maintained the air inside my lungs for a moment, then exhaled slowly, I cleared my voice and casted my power. Cheerilee Full Teacher Mode activate!

“Oh, excuse me, Miss Punch. I am here with a friend who is actually also a student of mine,” i explained. My voice was now, despite not being any higher or louder, reaching every corner of the bar. Years of teaching do that to you, go figure…

“Oooooh, but your reaction tells me everything I need to know, my little cuzz…” she countered, tilting her head in an attempt to look cute, innocent and silly, but overdoing so slightly so it has the exact opposite effect.

“Oh, sorry about that. I was for a moment under the impression you were going to say the ‘T’ word… absolutely unacceptable, my dear cousin,” i said.

Berry Punch rolled her eyes and for a moment continued to mind her business, figuratively and also quite literally, as she went to serve drinks to the other customers. Crisis averted! For a time…

It was a nice day, wasn’t it? The weather team was doing a good job. The fillies and colts were probably enjoying their unexpected holiday for the day, as I was summoned when this whole transformation mess started. Never a fan of this kind of unexpected interruptions of the teaching, but considering the circumstances… It could have been worse. It could have been your weekly disaster, invasion or monster attack.

Seriously, it happens so often I have scheduled it in my teaching program, to be able to skip a class every other week…

Roadapples… it’s been a couple of weeks; I hope this little funk counts and we don’t have to start running because something is coming… Knock on wood.

I allowed myself to relax. Smarty was brooding over this whole situation, probably coming to terms with it all. Yeah, he probably needs a little bit of time, I won’t interrupt him until he says something, better to look around and take in the sights.

My cousin’s bar is kind of your average rundown, small town bar, but still friendly enough and clean enough to be able to take a stallion to it. Heart shaped holes adorning the off pink painted wooden windows, the old wooden beams supporting the thatched roof, off white interiors with the occasional worn down wooden accent… Yes, she still keeps it decent and friendly yet maintaining that slightly rough, scratched and dented appearance so popular amongst the regular worker-class mare.

And she brews some mad stuff in here. A variety of punches and fruity wines made out of fresh locally grown produce. You could probably serve this in a Canterlot restaurant telling the snobs this was some kind of Prench new trendy drink and they would probably drown in it. But here we were, in a regular out of the mill town with one or two actual tourists a week.

Always support your local brewery.

“I can’t believe it…” Smarty finally said.

“The transformation?”

“No, the way Twil… PURPLESMART… she didn’t tell me! She lie me!” he shouted, and that made Berry’s ear rotate in our direction, a bad sign…

“Applejack was not a fan of that stunt.”

“I don't know what bothers me best… transformation or… no telling. They think I am weak and delicate, they are always taking care of me! I need out of there,” Smarty ranted.

“His accent is adorable…” Berry said as she passed by with a drink ready for another customer, denying me a chance to come back at her as the conversation between Smarty and me continued.

“Well, that’s a way to put it.”

“You didn't tell me at first either.” He now scowled at me.

“No, I didn’t, but I told you afterwards because I think you deserve to know the truth no matter how unpleasant it is, because I know you are able to deal with it. It… just… I didn’t want to tell you in front of a princess, you know? The very same pony who was obviously trying to hide it. She had her reasons, but I think the advantages of telling the truth outweigh lying to you,” i explained.

“Thank you, I guess…”

“You’re welcome.”

I actually took him away from the castle and to a place Twilight very rarely, if ever, comes to so I could freely speak to him. The drinks are a plus, it is also my cousin’s business, and she needs every bit for her treatment.

Even though Berry Punch looks like permanently drunk, I know it is a façade, she is sober, she just fakes it as it has been part of her character from time immemorial.

I know this because her ears are not droopy, they are perky and on a swivel. And a sober Punch is a cunning and dangerous Punch. She is the master of gossip, she just hides it too well, but I bet she could put Rarity to shame, as drunk ponies tend to be honest ponies, and they also tend to lose their restrains so they tell things they normally wouldn’t.

But Berry Punch is not the kind of mare to actually spread the gossip, she keeps it to herself, and uses all that information for… stuff. It helps her business, as she knows very well her customers, she knows how to make them feel welcome, at home, or uncomfortable so they leave when she doesn’t want them there.

But in my case… she knows exactly how to get under my fur, and how and when to strike with a simple word or gesture, to push me into doing something stupid… usually in front of a random stallion because she wants me to get one.

Smarty is an alien, and my student, Berry would never… or would she?

“The nerve on those mares… to hide something like that, like if you could not handle it…” Berry shook her head. Her drunken façade also made her naturally talk slower so Smarty could follow her.

I miscalculated…

“Yeah, I thought taking you out of there would help you to relax a little.” Keep it casual, keep it casual…

“Ooooh, so you actually… took ‘im out!” Damn you, Punch… I served it to her on a silver plate!

“A change of environment, it usually helps after a stressing situation.” Keep it casual, Cheerilee, you can do it! Don’t take the bait!

“Soooo… are you alright? You seem pretty much like you to me… Did they turn you back?” Berry asked Smarty again. No, don’t feed her more information, information is ammunition!

I arched an eyebrow to make her know I KNEW she was up to something.

“Yeah, I’m back to normal, I guess. I don't know how, but normal, yes,” he replied.

Berry briefly half smirked at me, to let me know she knew I knew and she didn’t care and to let me know she was indeed actually up to something.

“The poor thing… did they turn you into something weird? It must’ve been horrible!” She was patronizing and actually treating him like he actually hated to be treated, but she somehow made it work acting as a drunktard.

I frowned at Berry Punch, to tell her I was going to be in control of the situation and whatever she was trying to do was not going to work. At that she briefly looked at the level of my drink, it was almost empty. She liked her lips, I could almost hear her voice in my head, ‘yeah cuzz, no chance…’.

“They turn me into pony,” he told Berry.

“Oh! Well, at least it was a pony.” Berry just acted casual and retired for the time being to attend other customers. Safe for now.

“Are you alright, Cheery?” Smarty asked me, derailing my train of thoughts.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry. Just lost track for a moment.”

“Really? You seemed stressed. Want to talk about it?” He replied, his Harmonian still not perfect.

“It’s nothing, thank you. I just remembered something I need to do and it is a lot of work!” i replied and laughed about it, but it wasn’t as natural as it used to be when in front of the foals.

“If you say so…”

So, we kept to ourselves for a few more minutes as we finished our drinks. Berry Punch was coming back and I realized Smarty was reaching out for his bit pouch.

“Here you have, cousin! My treat, Smarty!” I slammed the bits onto the table a little bit more forcefully than necessary, but just in time to beat Smarty for a fraction of a second, who was still offering the bits to my cousin despite me telling him it was my treat.

“No way, I owe this to you after you teach me.”

Berry Punch just stood there, looking back and forth between the two of us. She was up to something, I SWEAR! Please take MY money and let it be… let it be, let it beeee…

She showed a ‘oh girl, just buckle up, this is going to be a good one…’ smirk.

I scowled a ‘Cousin, don’t you DARE!’ stare.

“Yeeeeah… Sorry, Smarty. My dearest cousin treating a stallion? I won’t take her chance away…” She (thankfully) took my money while not breaking eye contact with me, like if she was expecting something to happen.

Yes… just pay the bill and run for it. Don’t take the bait, I’m done! Victory! At long last!

But like on cue… and Berry’s omnipresent ‘Calculated from the very beginning’ shit-eating smirk…

“Then I pay next round.” Smarty offered the money to my cousin.

“Of course, my dear.” She winked at me.

The drinks were ALREADY on the table, there was NO WAY Berry Punch could have prepared them this quick, she prepared them in ADVANCE! She knew it, she KNEW IT!

“Or are you going to turn him down?” She slurred, now with a ‘You are here trapped WITH me’ scrunched smile.

I’m doomed… buck…

“Alright, alright, you win, Smarty… But after this round I’m going home. I have to work tomorrow.” I resigned to my fate.

And just like that we kept to ourselves for a little longer. Berry was serving yet another client and Smarty was back to brooding. After everything he has been through recently, he was taking it all surprisingly well.

“I need to find a new house,” he said.

“Oh, why is that?”

“Wan… no… I… I mean… I don’t want to depend on Purplesmart, I can um… can’t find word. I want away from ponies.”

“The strong and independent kind of stallion… suits you, cuzz…” Berry said, just passing by.

I just rolled my eyes, but refrained from making any comment on that. It could be another bait.

“Do you have any idea of rent prices?” Smarty asked.

“It’s been a while since I checked, but without a stable income, I doubt you could afford to rent a house. Ponies like that end up teaming up with other ponies to pay for their accommodations. Lyra for example, she gets to play in some bands and concerts in big events from time to time, but being a street musician rarely gives you enough bits to live on,” i explained as I scratched my chin in thought.

“I don’t like the idea of share house with unknown pony,” Smarty said.

“You are working in the right direction. You are known for taking help offers and I think you are starting to get a reputation as a handy pony… or… apetaur or whatever Twilight calls your kind,” i replied.

“Hope so…”

“But was he cute as a pony or what?” Berry said out of nowhere, making another pass.

“Buh… wah?” I almost did a spit take.

“You know, as a pony, was he handsome?” she asked. And Smarty heard it as he also turned his attention to our conversation.

Oh, you little…

“Uh… eh… Sorry, I had more urgent worries there rather than thinking if he… well…” Buck… again cornered. If I said yes, Berry would get what she wanted, if I said no, in front of him… I needed to avert the question.

“How did you look? Out of curiosity.” Berry asked innocently, but I knew she was again up to something.

“I don’t remember. Too scared.” Smarty replied.

“But you saw him, didn’t you, cuz?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“What race of pony was he?” Berry seemed genuinely interested.

“Pegasus.” I provided.

“Yeah, I remember the wings.” Smarty looked comfortable enough to carry on.

“Which color?” Asked Berry.

“Brown coat.” I said.

“Yes, I remember seeing muzzle…”

“And his mane and tail?” Berry asked again.

“Orange… like fiery orange.”

“Ooooh, spicy! That sounds like it goes together pretty well. And the cutie mark?” She casually kept the conversation going while drying a glass with a piece of cloth.

“It was a…” I froze. Berry was grinning like a loon. “I did NOT check his butt, okay!?”

“Oh, my dear cousin, you ABSOLUTELY did!”

And she proceeded to lose it and roll on the floor with laughter. Oh, my dear Celestia, I wanted to disappear from embarrassment. Yet Smarty was there, smiling at the display, as dense as ever and blissfully oblivious, Luna bless him…

Yeah, the damage was done. Berry Punch managed to make me feel VERY single… again… and the alien was now checking his little square shinny device, as he usually does when he is idle. What he does with it or why I have no idea.

I just took another sip of my drink and deflated on top of the table. Feeling very lonely in a certain department. I might be a successful mare, a balanced one, I am respected as a cultured and productive member of society, I have an important role and a job paid by the ministry of public education. Yet still no coltfriend.

Author's Note

I guess I wanted to start the chapter with a Cheerilee scene and well... this happened. Whole chapter featuring Cheerilee and Punch interactions.

I also used Cheerilee PoV to show how more or less is our local human progressing with the language. He still sounds slightly weird to the ponies sometimes.

I sometimes make little references to other fanfics like, not enough to assume they are in the same universe, but enough to make people remember them as a tribute (they are their own thing and I'm not going to use their stories, obviously, so no, our human is not going to space and back to Earth this way for obvious reasons). I wanted to point that out because this chapter contains one of those references to another, kind of less known story.

Revised by Tincho argentum 9002 Thank you very much!

1- At least it wasn't a librarian's nor a princess' spell going wild, I hope...

The forest I was walking in was getting darker and darker. How peculiar, I didn't remember such a place here and it was starting to get into my nerves. There wasn't a sign, or a limit, or any other landmark telling me that I was getting into another area, it just happened. This was the kind of creepy sensation that something is out of place but you can't put your finger on it, the place just got darker and darker, plants growing everywhere and the path harder and harder to follow.

Hiking is relaxing, a nice therapy and tension release from a life in a city and everyday problems. You can also get some exercise into your body and also helps the mind to get some distance from any other human being and just connect with nature for a while. I was hoping to have one of those days. I decided to go camping and hiking in a nearby little nice area and decided to explore some after I parked my car, all by myself. I packed light, just one of those self-assembling tents for the night, a few cans of food, my trusty canteen full of water and a few more frozen bottles in an ice box, my cellphone and my gimmicky solar panel and power bank to charge it just in case and an assortment of various knick-knacks. This far away from civilization lights, I could even have a half decent night of stargazing as long as I didn’t look in the city’s direction.

But back to the issue at hand…

I walked five minutes into that dark place more or less but I didn't like it, so I decided to go back. Following my own tracks, piece of cake, I just came here walking straight, so it should be easy to get out.

Six, eight, ten minutes walking in the opposite direction and nothing happened. Did I got lost in this place? I just walked a few minutes on a straight line! Well... plan B, my trusty cell phone an it's little GPS apps.

No line... how peculiar. I wasn't that far away from civilization... And before getting into this little creepy area I had perfect telephone coverage, this is dark magic! I haven’t seen a purple flash of magic or something like that, so it should be the internet service getting funny just when I needed it the most.

Well... plan C. I had already downloaded the maps for this area, therefore I shouldn't need a line. When you go hiking all by yourself you need to take a lot of precautions, because you don't have anyone to ask for help in case you need it so I took my phone fully charged, my before mentioned power bank and the pesky solar panel that takes forever to charge anything. Just in case the battery indicator decided to go wild. If you have ever had a cell phone you know how their batteries are... especially when you need them most.

As I was saying... Flight mode activate! I don't need the phone to spend all the battery looking for a nonexistent line and then I turned on the GPS and waited. And waited... and waited... ten minutes already and nothing happened. Well, sometimes, the GPS app gets a little funny, but I had another support app for finding GPS satellites that I turned on immediately.

The little app said that there weren’t any satellites nearby. Ok, maybe the GPS antenna turned off for some reason (I know for sure that in this model you can use the GPS while in flight mode, GPS is a passive location system that only needs to receive signals, but doesn’t emit anything, so it’s perfectly compatible with the flight mode, I also tried to turn off the flight mode for a few minutes just in case). Ok, it's fine... Just restart the phone... Nothing happened. Restart the line... nothing happened. Restart all the restart-able stuff... nothing happened.

Well... I guess the IT gods have abandoned me. I put the phone in a pocket with the location services activated. It happens sometimes, usually when you need it the most. If it weren't for the fact that I was lost in this creepy place, I would've been perfectly calm, just waited, relaxed and looked for my way back, but I wanted to get out of there, and fast. The nagging sensation of being watched and the creepy, uncanny, dark forest were getting into my nerves, and fast.

Plan D: Orientate myself by traditional methods. I took the compass and checked the sun's position... Hmmm... the sun's position... Is already that late? It should be up, but it was setting. And my watch was telling me it was just midday. Ok, this place was starting to play tricks on my mind. The urge to get out of there was increased. I had at least an hour of light before things could really start to get dicey.

And then, just like that, when I was expecting at least half an hour of sunlight and then some more time of residual light, the Sun went suddenly down, the sky was replaced by a sea of stars and darkness enveloped me.

“Wait… That’s illegal in many countries, Sun, just come back up!” I yelled at the universe in general, pointing at the night sky.

“Murphy! I didn’t even say the ‘at least it couldn’t be worse!’ What the fuck!?” I said to no one in particular as I picked up my flashlight.

Okay, I’m a human being, the pinnacle of nature evolution, the craftiest of the craftiest, the almighty, always resourceful human. I could already feel the panic and I needed to calm down. Panic could make you do stupid things, and the last thing I needed right now was ‘stupid’ to happen. My analytic brain was the most powerful tool on Earth, and I needed to take full advantage of it.

That magnificent tool also provided the plausible, but totally not helpful mention that I could as well be going crazy, because nothing made sense anymore, not even the sun. I could have probably fainted without realizing it, that would explain the sudden change of time.

But… not the watch. The watch still said it was 1 PM, it should be brightly lit outside. And the phone, and the sudden mockery the sun made when I was trying to orient myself… At this point I was completely panicked, my hands and legs trembled, but I forced myself to do the most reasonable thing I could think of.

Well... the most reasonable thing that crossed my mind was to walk on a straight line to the West. I came here walking to the East, so, if I kept walking West, I should find a landmark, or something familiar.

After half an hour of walking, something caught my eye. A giant castle in the middle of nowhere. It was in ruins and covered in vegetation, protected by a ravine with a precarious rope and wood bridge, one of those that felt like a miracle that it was able to sustain its own weight. No, I didn't feel like Indiana Jones just yet... but the castle was an important landmark, therefore I picked up my phone again and looked on the downloaded maps for the castle in the jungle... But I couldn't find it, you know why? Because it wasn't supposed to be a freaking jungle anywhere near the place I was hiking to begin with!

And the line hadn't come back... nor the GPS signal... Panic started to show its ugly face again. This should be a bad dream, I kept telling myself, but everything looked so real... And there is a rule about dreams... If it is a dream, you will never think about it, no matter how ridiculous it could be, until you get up.

Okay, I genuinely panicked... this situation was too much already. If it was a bad dream, I should wake up at any moment. I started walking parallel to the ravine, I couldn't walk West anymore because of it. West, the last pillar that was keeping my sanity was now shattered on the floor, from now on I didn't have any plans left. I just walked quickly, fueled by adrenaline, my eardrums feeling my own accelerated heartbeat.

The adrenaline rush started to wear off and I realized it was really cold outside... And I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt... because it was summer... or it was SUPPOSED to be summer. It was way too cold for just a slightly cooler summer day. My legs were also covered in scratches from the wild plants because I wasn't supposed to be walking across a damn jungle.

The panic started to wear off again, and my rational thinking started to come back. I was in dire situation, but there were things I could do. I was no professional, but I could follow some general knowledge about what to do when you get lost in a hostile environment. Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls mode activate... Except that I'm not Bear Grylls.

Well... I'm physically weaker than that guy, and I'm not up to eating bugs now... but who knows... That show was a favorite of mine. Although I lacked the training and knowledge, there were a lot of useful tips that I could follow in order to increase my chances.

Water, food and shelter, I had water and food for at least a day in my backpack. It was relatively dark and the sun was gone, so I needed shelter first.

The castle. It looked like a nice idea if it wasn't for one thing... The precarious bridge. It looked like too much risk; it was likely to break if I tried to cross it. I could probably go back and really check it... Actually, on second thought... I had nothing better to do. I could always try to climb a tree, and there were plenty of them.

Back to the castle and the bridge. It wasn't that far, just following the ravine. I had a little time to think about my situation meanwhile I walked there. The weird thing is that I didn't saw it coming... Just the forest got darker and darker, there wasn't anything that marked the beginning of this jungle. I just walked a little and when I realized where I was getting into, I immediately tried to go back, but the path wasn't there. It was like I suddenly was in a totally different place; nothing looked the same, and instead of coming out, I got deeper and deeper. It made no sense, it was like I suddenly was in a totally different planet, even the Sun was weird.

I also checked the phone again, but nothing... I was starting to think that the phone was really broken.

Chicken clucks. I suddenly heard chicken clucks. Could it be a farm? I hadn't seen anything the first time I came here. It was probably a wild bird or something like that, but it was worth a shot. I followed the sound a little into the forest.

Suddenly I stumbled onto something. Something cold and slippery, the thing just slithered away at the contact with another burst of furious clucks. I immediately jumped back. Was it some kind of snake? The last thing I needed was being bitten by a snake, a snake that could probably be poisonous.

But I didn't feel the bite, looks like I avoided it by jumping back. Although, now I was curious about what kind of snake could it have been. I don't remember any snake that could cluck... Snakes aren't very fast, therefore as long as I keep my distance, I should be safe.

Following the rustling of the bushes and the clucks, I located the animal, but what I saw was something really unexpected.

The long snake tail was attached to a chicken body. The happy-go-lucky part of me cheered "Of course, that's why it clucks! Because it's half chicken!" But the rest of me thought "What the fuuuuu...!?" Well, at least, if it's half chicken, it shouldn't have poisonous fangs.

Then it turned around.

Its beak had fangs.

But what caught my attention were its glowing red eyes. A horrible chill went down my spine. A new rush of adrenaline took control over me, screaming to run in the opposite direction. I turned around in a painfully slow motion, my whole body feeling numb. It was exactly the same sensation when you are having a nightmare and something is chasing you, but you feel restrained and heavy, simply feeling terribly slow...

Out of a childish logic, triggered by the feeling of being in a nightmare, I closed my eyes. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist. I ran blindly in the opposite direction, slowly feeling faster and faster until I dared to open my eyes. The image of those red glowing eyes was printed in my brain.

When I was able to slow down and recover, I thought about the encounter. It was just a half snake, half chicken thing! It shouldn't be that scary. But those eyes... the feeling of being paralyzed... What had unchained the panic attack wasn't the creature on its own, it had been the feeling of numbness and paralysis... which for some reason, my mind had linked with those red glowing eyes that I had only gazed into for a fraction of a second.

Whatever... fuck the bridge, I wasn't coming back that way. That thing scared me, and I couldn't put my finger on why exactly it was so creepy. Was it those glowing eyes? In a part, yes... Was it because of how uncanny it was? Probably a little.

But why I had panicked so hard that I had felt paralyzed? Ok, no more thinking... Just more looking for a shelter to spend the night. I checked the phone to see if it had decided to start working again in order to save me from spending the night in this place, but still… no signal.

Author's Note

At least I hope it's a fun read.

11- At least the lizard got it

It was nice to have a little moment of solitude to ponder my situation once I closed the bathroom door. It was clear that I was in a real place, this wasn’t a dream, as I had been here for a few days and slept and woke up and so on…

I was also being taken care of, so my immediate survival wasn’t going to be a problem anymore, and these little equines seemed determined to help me, give me food and a place to stay. By this point, I was starting to lose hope in being rescued. This place looked like a fantasy book, and I couldn’t find a way back.

I needed to communicate more reliably with the locals. Now that my survival and wellbeing weren’t on the line and I wasn’t freaking out as hard anymore about this place, I could focus on investigating what the hell happened to me to end up in this place. I couldn’t figure it out on my own, so the next logical step would be to establish some kind of communication. I needed to learn their language, but it made little to no sense. All of them seemed to produce a different set of sounds, the only thing they had in common was that musical intonation that made it sound like a song. The only reaction I could get was when I reproduced the musicality of the word those little ones were learning, and what a reaction did I had…

I kind of have mixed feelings about Yellowings now.

Well, time to enjoy my alone time and get a refreshing shower in this hotel like room.

***

After the creature escaped into the bathroom and closed the door, Twilight lit up her horn ready to teleport…

“Twilight! Fluttershy told us to give him some privacy!” Spike interrupted.

Twilight groaned in frustration again. “Some privacy, give it a room… It’s not a pony, Spike! It’s a new kind of creature; there is no time to waste! There are a lot of things to do, a lot of things to record… a lot of… of…”

“Twilight…” Spike took a step back, knowing how crazy the young princess could be some times. Her disheveled mane, eye twitches and lack of sleep were the indicators of another ‘episode’ of hers coming. Princess Celestia asked him to send an emergency message if he suspected things were about to get out of control after the ‘tardy report incident’. Of course, it was his duty to protect Twilight even from herself. Spike started to consider doing so.

“I mean… it’s not a regular creature. Fluttershy said it is very intelligent, it learned how to say ‘mommy’. It could even be sapient… Maybe it can even talk in another language, but we can’t understand it!” Spike tried to reason.

“All civilized cultures of Equus have at least some notions of Harmonian Equii or talk a similar dialect with the common Harmonian roots… it’s the universal language established a few thousand years ago. The sounds this creature produces lack any Harmonian Pattern that could be identified as a civilized language. It is clear that it can’t talk.” Twilight explained.

“But… some critters can communicate between them with their sounds, maybe…” Spike reasoned.

“Elemental, my dear Spike. Some CRITTERS can use a complex array of sounds to communicate between them some simple messages of danger, food, and so on. This doesn’t make it intelligent! Further research is required for that.

“But it is able to learn, he said ‘mommy’ to Fluttershy…” Spike replied.

“That makes it as intelligent and civilized as a parrot. Really, have you read the book I gave you your last birthday? The one about the origins of the world, the different languages and their roots, how dragons adopted the Draco Harmonian and how it is related to Equii Harmonian…” Twilight went on with her theory.

“It can be an alien from a different planet!” Spike interrupted Twilight. “It can be a part of a really advanced sapient race with… I don’t know… super technology instead of magic! Space ships that can go around the…”

“Of course, you have been reading comics instead…” Twilight deadpanned. “Spike, we need to focus on a scientific study about what we know for sure and don’t go crazy with jumbo-mumbo theories. We know for a fact that this being is related to primates in some way, it is from a warm environment and lacks any visible fur. It’s a mammal because it has hair, might be related to minotaurs…” Twilight went on and on for a few minutes and Spike didn’t bother to follow.

“Um… Twilight… don’t you have, errr… better things um… more productive things to do than pacing around in circles in front of his door?” Spike tried to redirect the alicorn’s energy.

“Of course! We need to prepare the experiments!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Uh… not what I had in mind. Don’t we have princess stuff to do?” Spike muttered.

“The laboratory, we need to bring the intelligence tests, maybe some puzzles, the labyrinth for rats… Uh, were you saying something?”

“Uh… not really… Um… isn’t he too big for the labyrinth?” Spike asked.

“I know a couple of temporary shrinking spells. Don’t worry, they are totally safe.”

‘Totally’ and ‘safe’ in the same sentence coming from a frazzled-out Twilight were usually a sign of danger.

“Can’t we begin with letting him draw with pen and paper and see what he can do?” Spike offered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Spike. That would require a level 3 intelligence according to Hooffington’s Theory of Intellect. We need to prove the previous two levels before moving on.” Twilight explained.

“I’ve already seen him drawing when I was helping Rarity make him a dress…” Spike interjected.

“Yes, my dear Spike, but this is a whole new species, this might be big for the scientific community, I need to make the scientific paper as accurate, precise, formal and by the book as possible, or else, it’s going to be picked up by other scientists, and I don’t want that to happen to probably one of the most impressive species discovery in years!”

At least, Spike succeeded in bringing Twilight down to the castle’s lab and away from the creature’s doorstep for some time, giving him some space. Spike felt a pang of guilt about what was about to happen to him, but there was no way to stop the trainwreck in time, he was in damage control already as he watched the impending crash approach. He reached for the emergency breaks in the form of quill and paper while Twilight was rummaging the various lab items that were going to be used.

“Spike! What is that for?” Twilight pointed at the parchment and quill.

Spike jumped out of his scales for a second there, but he quickly recovered “Oh! This! Um… we want to… make a record of the… preparations?”

Twilight stared for a few seconds, the gears in her head grinding and for a moment, Spike got hit by the paranoia that maybe the alicorn has seen through his plan.

“PERFECT! Good idea, Spike! If I want to make this serious, we should record EVERYTHING!”

Spike let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

After some more rummaging and setting up some tables with all sort of puzzles and intelligence related tests, Twilight redirected her attention to Spike and cleared her throat with an obviously fake sound meant to tell Spike she was about to say what was meant to be written.

“The first step of the intelligence estimation will be a basic stimulus and reaction test mechanism…” She said out loud.

‘Dear princess Celestia. I hope I’m not interrupting you doing anything important, but I need to tell you…’ Spike wrote.

“…For that purpose, and assuming the subject is related to primates, a banana is going to be used to attract his attention…”

‘…that Twilight is likely going to have one of her breakdowns soon.’

“A bell will be ringing every time a banana is given, then, only the bell will be ringing to check if a basic association of stimuli is achieved.”

‘…She is starting to become obsessed with the investigation of a new creature Fluttershy found in the Everfree Forest, and I am seeing all the signs we talked about.’

“This will show a level one intelligence according to Hoofington’s theory, then, the next…”

And so on, Spike continued writing his emergency letter for Celestia as Twilight continued to describe in detail the tests and experiments she was about to conduct. At least he was able to get her away for around half an hour before she went again to the creature’s door to wait for him.

***

Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop… *whinny-snort-neigh*… Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-… *Roar-grunt-growl*… CLOP! *Whinny neigh*… Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop…*Frustrated neigh*… Clip-clop, clip-clop…

Yes… they were in front of my door again, waiting for me. It looked like Purplesmart was pacing in circles and having a conversation with the little purple and green lizard. And Purplesmart wasn’t happy about the waiting. I was amazed how different their voices and vocalizations were, but how similar intonation and cadence they had, giving a certain kind of musicality to it. Only that rhythm and pitch variation that made it sound like a song was present in both voices, the same musicality I reproduced for Yellowings. Maybe it wasn’t about how they vocalize, or how they articulate the sounds what made out their language.

Apart from the slight differences in size and shape, all the bathroom applications were completely functional for a human like me due to the fact that they were all very generous in size when compared with the ones in Yellowings’ house. I have been in the shower and I had taken my sweet time. That’s probably why they were getting so nervous out there.

Opening the bathroom door, I looked carefully around the room. They were outside. I hastily took my belongings and hid them under the bed. That was probably not a very clever hiding spot, but I had no time to do any better than that.

Clean and groomed, wearing the dark outfit with light blue trims I opened the door of my room. Purplesmart scowled at me and said something that sounded slightly angry. Then, the lizard interrupted her, causing Purplesmart to roll her eyes.

Then she turned around and started to walk away, pausing to look back at me and talked to me again. I could guess she was explaining something. The lizard interrupted her again with the same sound as before. One of Purplesmart’s eyes twitched and a single strand of her bangs sprang out of place. She smiled awkwardly and motioned me to follow.

We came into the castle’s library. There were papers, books and notebooks everywhere. It looked like a lot of people had been studying here recently…

***

“There you are! Do you have any idea for how long we’ve been waiting for?!” Twilight shouted at the creature. “There is no more time to waste, I want to perform a few experiments on you and we are running late on the schedule.”

“Errr… He can’t understand you. You know, right?” Spike interrupted her.

“Okay, come with us.” Twilight turned around and headed towards the library.

“Twi… He can’t understand…” Spike repeated a little more concerned.

Another bang of Twilight’s mane sprang out of place and her eyes twitched. After a moment of thought, she tried to make a gesture to catch the attention of the creature for it to follow her. It kind of worked, because it started to walk behind them, letting her lead the way.

The library was a mess… another danger indication and another step into the ‘tardy incident’ protocol. The usually tidy and organized alicorn making a mess of her work space was something to take into account. Spike was holding the letter to Princess Celestia in his claw already, waiting for Twilight to be distracted to send it via dragon fire.

“Keep an eye on it, Spike. I’ll be right back!” Twilight ran out of the library. After a few loud noises of something dropping to the floor and some intense rummaging in the cupboards, Twilight emerged from the kitchen with a single banana in her telekinetic aura. Spike didn’t have time to send the letter.

“This!” Twilight showed the piece of fruit like if it was the ultimate answer. “It is a primate, so it will like a banana. We are going to be able to control it with the correct incentive! We will use this method to lure him into the lab, as a part of the first experiment.”

“Errr… I think it’s going to be more complicated than that…” Spike said quietly.

“Ba-na-na.” Twilight emphasized each syllable with a telekinetic movement of the piece of fruit. “Do you like it? Of course you do… come here… let me study you.”

But the creature just deadpanned at her.

“I think it’s not working…” Spike observed.

“Nonsense! It has to work.” The creature just stared at her, and it looked mildly offended.

“He… not like…” Spike stuttered.

“Hush!”

“The banana…” Spike whispered.

“Shut up, I almost got it!”

“Angry…” Spike smiled awkwardly at the creature. “Creature no banana…”

In a quick motion that took them both by surprise, the creature grabbed the banana from Twilight’s aura before she could react. “Banana” The creature said, raising an eyebrow to it, and then left it on the table and crossed his arms. Spike sighed in relief.

“He… learned a new word!” Spike exclaimed.

“Wow… he is going to ace all intelligence tests I’ve prepared for him! This is going to be HUGE for the scientific community!” Twilight giggled.

“Can we just… start teaching him words and how to talk?” Spike ventured what looked like the best course of action.

“Don’t be silly, Spike, we have to gather EVIDENCE first! All the tests are ready downstairs anyway. Then, when we have the whole mental and biological profile, we can come up with the best course of action.”

“But what if we… kind of… offend him with the more basic tests?”

“It is calm enough now… I will perform the scans for its natural thaumatic aura first.” Twilight’s horn lit up and a few symbols appeared out of thin air around the being, forming a cylinder of spinning purple light. They circled around it for a few seconds. The creature looked at them in fear, not daring to move for a moment. Then it took a few steps back and the symbols sparkled and fizzled out of existence, startling it further.

Twilight looked in shock as her scanning spell fell on itself as the creature ran to the opposite corner of the library, keeping a wary eye on her.

“This is not… possible. It’s like it didn’t even have a magical aura… a creature like it… shouldn’t be… alive…” Twilight said to herself. “N…No… I have to be missing something, maybe a protection spell… a magic shield… or… or… COUNTERSPELL!”

Twilight continued using one counterspell after another, but all of them seemed to fail. It just looked like there just wasn’t any spell to counter. Meanwhile, Spike tried to calm the panicking creature. Twilight’s magic was freaking him out.

“Spike! Bring me the Tome of Passive Defensive Magic volume 3! I have to check all the possible spells that may be protecting it…” The alicorn demanded.

The drake brought her the book and took a few steps back. Twilight grabbed the tome in her magical aura and began flipping the pages back and forth. Taking the opportunity, Spike started to consider ways of slipping away from Twilight for enough time to send his emergency report without suspicion.

“Oh… no… nononono… Already tried this… and this… this can’t be… This can’t be happening… *sniff* If I can’t even figure out a basic counterspell for a passive protection… Celestia will take my wings off… and she will send me back to… to…” Twilight banged her head against the desk.

Oof… Both Spike and the creature cringed at the sound.

The creature had been staring at the panicking alicorn for a while. Twilight was crying. Spike was keeping an eye on the young princess and another on the creature, ready to tell her he had to go to the bathroom for a moment. The creature also looked concerned about the princess.

“Don’t worry… She will get over it. I have everything under control…” Spike tried to comfort him. “…Of course… you can’t understand me…”

“Uh, Twilight… I need to go to the bathroom for a mo…” But his words died in his throat as the creature got up and walked slowly towards Twilight.

***

Yep… Purplesmart was crying… Then she said something and banged her head on the desk.

I was having mixed feelings.

I was scared of her after all of her magic tricks and light shows and stuff… but that cute little thing crying was too sad… And I wasn’t hurt, so probably she was sorry for scaring me? I felt the need to do something, but what?

The little lizard told me something in his rhythmical and musical grunts and growls. He had a piece of parchment rolled up in a claw and a red quill in the other. He looked apologetic? Sad? I didn’t really know.

Considering my options, I decided that I was going to try to cheer that little purple equine up. I wasn’t hurt and she looked stressed all the time. I walked on trembling legs, slowly so I wouldn’t startle her. The little lizard was saying something, but stopped to watch me with wary eyes.

The mare was quietly crying and sobbing with her head resting on the desk near her book. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and turned her head to face me. Her cheeks were frazzled and damp with tears; her coat was a mess and her mane disheveled. She even smelled a little bit.

Okay. Yellowings loved when I petted her… for some reason. If they are the same species… well, at least similar enough, they might like the same things.

“Okay, look… It’s okay… I’m not mad, please, stop crying…” I raised a trembling hand towards her chin, but she looked suspiciously at it and leaned back a little. I continued to approach her and she leaned back further, then frowned at me and squinted her eyes in suspicion. Probably she was trying to look slightly menacing, but in her state, she only managed to look like a confused puppy.

The moment she looked to me and away from my hand I took the chance and scratched timidly her chin. She flinched at the contact, but didn’t retreat. She said something in a low voice, still staring at me with her eyes squinted in suspicion.

Her mane was a mess, so I rested my other hand on top of her head and ran it through it and down her neck using my fingers as a comb. She immediately tensed and her eyes went wide open, but stayed still.

I repeated the action and her wings ruffled slightly, then her eyes started to close slowly. I could see that they were reddened and had dark bags under them. When was the last time this poor thing slept? Or took a shower?

She faced toward the desk again and her head wobbled, then leaned into my other hand as I continued to scratch her chin and comb her mane, adding a little pressure on my fingertips to massage her scalp and neck. She mumbled some unintelligible neighs that lacked any cadence or pitch variations and her wings went limp on the floor as she rested her head on the table. Soon, cute little snores could be heard.

The little lizard came closer and chuckled, still holding the piece of paper in his claws, he seemed relieved.

***

Spike couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The creature got up and approached the distressed mare, then gave her a massage and Twilight fell asleep! This could actually be really good. Without her tired brain going paranoid, she would probably be a lot more reasonable tomorrow. Spike still kept his emergency report just in case, but this creature had managed to put Twilight to sleep.

Chuckling, he approached the strange being. “Wow, dude… that was amazing. You have no idea how much that helped.” Spike looked up at the creature and shrugged. “Oh, right… you can’t talk.” The mysterious being shrugged back and they both smiled at each other.

“Well… I need to bring a blanket and a pillow to her… If she sleeps all day like that, she is going to have a terrible backache tomorrow.” Spike started to move the mare into a comfortable position on the floor. Then, a spark of realization shined on the creature’s eyes.

The creature bent down and grabbed Twilight carefully and lifted her from the floor. Twilight curled up immediately on its arms like an oversized dog. Spike looked at it a little bit confused until he realized what was going on.

“Oh! Of course! Twilight’s room is this way.” And the baby dragon pointed the creature in the right direction and they put Twilight on her bed. Spike and the creature came out of Twilight’s room and the drake’s stomach growled.

“Uh… I guess its lunch time. Well… we can cook something. Do you want to help? I could teach you a few more words too meanwhile!”

Finally, they both left Twilight resting blissfully and went to the kitchen.

Author's Note

This whole chapter was inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jDEwbsWj2Qo

This chaptes shows a little bit of why ponies thought he couldn't talk at all at the beginning. We are reaching the point of the human and the ponies actually learning about eachother. The part of the human not trying to actively comunicate with the ponies seemed logical to me as long as he was freaking out, or concerned about his survival and sanity.

I hope Twilight is more reasonable after good eight hours of sleep, and hopefully a shower too.

13- At least I wasn't mind controlled to bake a cake

PANIC! The door opened suddenly and Purplesmart was right there! There was no hope, she just saw the setup I had to get solar power, she would definitely try to steal all my devices, and would take them apart to study how they worked and take away from me the only familiar thing I had anymore in this cruel world!

Oh wait… It’s the wingless Purplesmart…

I kind of startled her with my sudden urge to put myself in front of her to block her line of sight from my stuff, but when I relaxed a little, she looked at me with a baffled expression on her cute face and her head tilted to one side. Then she kind of smiled and waved awkwardly. I returned the gesture.

She said something in their singsongy language while looking away from me, then looked directly to my eyes with a hopeful expression. Well, I didn’t understand a word, so I shrugged and got away from her way. She saw that gesture as an invitation to come in, so she did.

She had brought some books, paper and quills in her saddlebags which she put on the desk and brought a chair next to it. I sat on the bed near the desk to see what was going on. I needed to get her a name, because Wingless Purplesmart was a pain even if I wasn’t even pronouncing it aloud. Purplesmart 2 was just too silly and lazy.

The purple little unicorn had a slightly curly hair and a pale greenish line along it. It had to be dye… It was just too uncanny for a creature to be so colorful. Smartylocks? Fair enough. Probably I will know their real names in their language when I actually learn the language, because right then, I only knew a few words that were little tunes and rythms.

Smartylocks talked again and made something that looked like calming gestures and then she lit up her horn. I was still unnerved by this, but she looked sure about what she was doing. Furthermore, I hadn’t been hurt by those light shows yet, so I tried not to panic. Then she pointed her horn at my head, and a little bolt of magic struck my face.

It startled me a little, but then I felt numb for a moment, after that I almost fell to the floor, feeling dizzy, though I recovered quickly. What was her intention was unknown for me, but it was creepy.

“Unknown. Curiosity about me. Who are you? What are you?”

Those questions came to my mind out of the blue, not as questions or statements, but as sheer emotion, the sudden urge to answer those questions to myself. I was utterly confused about why I was suddenly asking this to myself. What was going on?

I glanced at the tiny equine in front of me. She was sweating and panting, her horn glowing brightly and sometimes sparkling, pointed directly at me.

“Unknown. Frightened to the unknown. What is happening?” Was my mental response to how alien those sudden thoughts seemed to me.

Smartylocks smiled awkwardly and did a gesture with her hoof that I didn’t understand. She repeated it a few times.

“Come on! It’s not going to last much longer!” The urge to answer those questions and the fact that something was running out of time came to my mind the same way the other questions did.

Wait… there was a connection between the gesture and the thought. It looked like she was urging me to continue. It was like she perceived my indecision and was gesturing me to hurry up and answer… her?

Wait… was she… inside my flippin’ MIND!?

I panicked and stumbled back onto my bed, trying to focus all my efforts in not to think about anything. A loud pop and a few sizzles could be heard and I got all dizzy again. If I were standing, I would have fallen to the floor, but luckily for me, I was already lying on the bed.

Once I recovered, I glanced over the little equine that had been launched to the opposite side of the room while I had a little blackout. There was smoke coming out of her horn, and she had a pained expression on her face, with a hoof massaging her forehead.

“What… What was that, tiny horse!?” I asked, letting a mix of fear and anger get to me.

She looked at me and suddenly understood my gesture and attitude towards her. She waved both forelegs in front of her in a defensive manner, saying something in their language.

“Were you… READING MY MIND!?” I took a step back, not really sure if I was more angry or more scared.

Probably feeling my hostile behavior, she stepped back towards the door, never taking her eyes from me, a mix of shock and fear on her face. She wobbled a little, putting again a hoof at the base of her horn. It looked like she was in some pain after the thing she did. After this I couldn’t decide what to do. I was mildly angry because of her trying to use that weird horn magic of hers on me, but on the other hand, she probably didn’t mean any kind of harm and I was overreacting, moreover, it looked like she was in pain. Still, I was uncomfortable with the idea of those freaky unicorns though. In the end I settled on just scowling at her.

She recovered a little from her own dizziness and looked back at me. Her horn was still smoking from her efforts. When she noticed my scowl, she smiled a little, and when that smile didn’t work, she tried harder, making that smile awkward and a little bit creepy. Purplesmart was a very creepy thing, and if Smartylocks was somehow related to her, it was normal to believe that she would behave in a similar manner.

I missed Yellowings. Yes, she was cuddly and didn’t know a thing about personal space, but at least she had been nice and I could somehow understand her and she understood me more or less. In the end, that winged pony was adorable, but those horned ones? They were kind of scary now. I should probably kick her away from my room after what she did, or maybe try to run away from her, but part of me wanted to know more.

Smartylocks went to the desk where the books, paper and quills were and started to manipulate them by hoof after her horn sparkled again and a new wave of cute sounds of pain came out of her. It looked like she had run out of energy for her horn, and that gave me a little more confidence, so I decided to let the equine do her thing in order to see what she wanted.

She set up a little area for studying. She changed around the desk and the chair in a way that I could sit on the bed and she could sit on the chair at the other side of the desk. The purpose of this arrangement became clear as she offered me a quill and she started to draw stuff with another on a large piece of paper.

Her mouth-writing and drawing were terrible. That was probably because after the little incident she had to use her mouth and couldn’t wingardium-leviosa her quill, but we managed to draw some simple items like a stickman figure and a… squiggle that resembled a pony.

She was definitely not a teacher, because she got frustrated very quickly at my initial inability to match the sounds she was producing. I felt like I was making a fool of myself imitating the sound of a horse. Then I remembered what happened back in the kitchen, and back with the ‘word’ I said to Yellowings… I had to imitate kind of the ‘music’ of the word, not the actual sound or vocalization, so I would have to ‘sing’ what she sang, and it didn’t matter if it was a whinny or a snort, I could just use my regular voice. With that, I got mildly successful, but not as far as Smartylocks was expecting, probably.

We exchanged drawings and tried to imitate each other sounds, but she was unable to do mine because she always focused on copying the rhythm and intonation of my words and not the actual vocalizations. Me, on the other hand, succeeded in some words and even managed to say some words in my language, but doing the sing-songy thing that made them mean that very thing for the ponies. Of course, there were words that didn’t have the proper number of syllables to do that trick, but those which did became really easy to remember. Apart from that, in order to make her understand the basics of my language I tried to say a word but doing the most plain and robotic intonation. She was utterly baffled.

The books were probably textbooks for pony children. They had a lot of images with little scripts under them, most likely some kind of childish dictionary. Smartylocks made a point about me reading those, but without a teacher to actually explain and read those, it was going to be of little use for me. She wasn’t very good at pantomiming, so I didn’t understand most of the things she tried to communicate.

The mare went out of the room after a couple of hours of interaction, and I was kind of relieved, because mind-reading unicorns freaked me out. I learned a few new words, but in general not a reliable way to communicate. Pony, bird, house, horn, hoof… I spent the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening with my… kindergarten lessons…

Looking at the pictures and the scripts kept me entertained. I identified all the different symbols I could isolate and started to associate how they were repeated in words. For example, the word for ‘pony’ had five symbols; comparing those with the word ‘bird’ I found that they had one symbol in common. I already knew how those two simple words were pronounced and discovered that the specific variation, a sudden but subtle rise in intonation, was the same in both words at the point of the common symbol. Did they write sounds? It seemed like they wrote like if it was a music sheet, with all the musical notes but in their weird squiggles that represented them.

That could be really challenging or an advantage to learn the language, because I wouldn’t have to worry about checking the spelling of every single thing, but on the other hand it was utterly alien.

Those activities kept me busy from checking my phone, but anyways… what was the point anymore? I already knew that there was going to be still no signal.

Author's Note

We are already starting to crack the mystery of the pony language! Small progress, but still progress.

I wrote the story around some of the episodes, if you remember the show, you can almost guess in which episode of the show we are approximately in, more or less.

I still have buffer, but as work these days is going to be more intense, I might leave a bigger gap between chapters. I want to add some stuff that I thought would fit here and there in the story too.

29- Discord! At long last? Wait... no...

Smarty Pants, our now kind of local alien, was soundly asleep in his castle room. It was a pleasant night, crickets were chirping, stars were twinkling and the moon shone trough the window.

It was perfect, except for the ominously gentle breeze coming trough said open window, the curtains swaying back and forth slowly. Yes… it was the kind of thing they showed in a horror film to unnerve people and warn them for the impending jump scare that was certainly coming, one could even hear the foreboding music playing in the background. Well, this isn’t a horror story, isn’t it?

An alien being in Equestria was the novelty of this setting.

And that’s probably why he felt so special. Ponies were… curious about him, some might even say they were thrilled to meet him. His life would be overflown with new friends and exciting adventures.

Some might even feel identified with him, live vicariously that thrill of loosing everything, a hard reset, the sadness that justified it all, to make it feel genuine, the fact that you just want to get rid of it all, that old boring life gone in a way that would remove the blame from you, as you had no options. The accident of coming to Equestria would be as much of a curse as a blessing, everypony would come and comfort him for his lost home, work with him to find a way back or, if not, provide a life for him, convince him he would be oh SO happy living amongst them, in this caring, loving and understanding society. A monster amongst the ponies, but they would accept him because THEY were the greater good, even a NEW creature from the great beyond would feel welcome and at home…

But what about those WEIRD creatures that had always been HERE? We didn’t get to experience THAT! Ponies ran away from US, they called us MONSTERS! *Sniff* Just like if we didn’t have feelings…

Yes… what about us… what about ME!

“Oh, he is so nice, he helped me around and thanked me, he even came back to visit even after I treated him like an animal…” Said Fluttershy’s voice to the empty room.

“Like I WASN’T there the whole time… like if I HADN’T helped her at all around the cottage…”

“Be nice to him, Discord. He is so alone; he is the only one of his species around…” I continued talking in Fluttershy’s voice as I mimicked with a talon a mouth talking and the shadow behind said talon was a perfect copy of Fluttershy’s silhouette.

“Hello! Is someone home!? Look at ME! Yeah… tons and tons of Draconequs around, they are OVERFLOWING!” A cascade of tiny discords rained down from the ceiling, creating a cacophony of squeaky toy sounds on impact.

“Me and my OH SO MANY colleagues around! I’ve NEVER been alone!” I gestured around for the audience.

Yes… you, the audience.

“And then you came here, and you got it all. You got Fluttershy’s help and friendship and care, you got the princesses looking after you, Twilight would LOVE to get in here and ask question after question. All your needs and desires taken care of in an instant, no need to work for it, no need for ANYTHING! Only your oh so important struggles and traumas to deal with in the perfectly accepting and friendly and safest place of all the universes, such a TRAGEDY!”

“Ugh…” The creature lying on the bed had the AUDACITY to stir and turn in his sleep, then rubbed one of his hands over his eyes.

“I can’t believe it…” I deadpanned at him and snapped my claws, producing a stack of written papers and Rarity’s red rimmed glasses (Please, don’t tell her I used those) appeared, precariously balanced on the tip of my muzzle.

“Who is in ugghh…” He groggily awoke.

“No… nononononno… EXCUSE ME! But according to the SCRIPT!” I shoved the stack of papers in front of him. “YOU are not supposed to wake up during my monologue.”

“Wait… what…” He confusedly started to read.

“Paragraph 27, subsection G, line 3. If you have any issues with that, please, send a written complain to the author. Now… ta ta, my friend, back to sleep.” Again, I had to snap my claw.

He got woozy and almost fell back to his bed… almost… but not.

“I said SLEEP!” I snapped, more energetically, this time a few sparks of static electricity came out of my claw, and he finally complied, falling back to the bed and resumed his light snoring.

“Geez… this low budget productions… I have to pull out all my charms to compensate for the lack of resources.”

I stared at him for a little while, pondering about what should be done with his case.

“Oh, he is so special, you have to be nice to him, he is my FRIEND!” I said in Fluttershy’s voice, cracking at the last word like it was the foulest thing ever.

All my life, all my sufferings, and this SCOUNDREL gets it all without batting an eye. The nerve!

“Oh, but… what makes you OH so special.” I got menacingly close to him.

“You are a creature from the greater beyond… the only one of your species… but what if you just weren’t THAT special... What if you just were another one of the bunch? Just having to work it all, be in the background forever, just a filler, another forgotten face in the crowd, a repeated, nameless asset…”

I snapped my claw again.

Chaos magic filled the room and… it fizzled out of existence after the light show.

“Wait… are you serious? Are you going to be stubborn until the very end?”

I snapped again, much, much harder this time, so hard it almost sounded like a thunder. The questionable script was the only thing that kept the creature asleep this time, but my chaos magic FINALLY caught on him, and I smiled down at what I had just done.

“Mwahahaha… yes… time to see it all unfold in the morning. Good luck, commander, I’ll be watching.”

***

Morning came, as mornings ought to do, which might not sound like a lot, but believe me it is, considering the sun and moon are magically bonking around under the whims of two sister horses with wings and horns.

I stirred awake under the sunlight’s assault. I Blame the princess, early mornings should be abolished and life ought to start later on, like… a couple of hours before lunch.

I tried to rub the sleepiness away, but I couldn’t coordinate. My arm moved the way I commanded it to move, but somehow it didn’t reach its intended target. Oh my… I am sleepier than I thought.

Maybe I should skip life today. I absolutely felt like garbage for some reason. And said reason was weird, because the more I thought about it, the more awake I was.

Then, why was everything so out of focus, so out of… something?

Whatever.

I tried to curl into a ball and wriggle my way under the covers again, but the more I moved, the bigger the mess I was creating.

What on earth!?

I opened my eyes, ready to find what was going on with my covers. They were a mess. How I managed to get them so tangled was beyond comprehension. And I was having difficulties to focus my eyes. A brown lump of something was in front of my nose for some reason.

I blinked furiously, and looked left and right. Wow… such a good peripheral vision, I could almost see behind me with almost no turn of my neck.

After a couple of seconds, I regained the ability to make my eyes look forward, but that brown lump remained. Pushing harder my forward-looking abilities I crossed my eyes and watched. That lump was where my nose was supposed to be.

How peculiar.

I tried to get up, but I only managed to trash around, entangling myself further. It was as if I had forgotten how to human.

Okay, something was definitely going on. Take it slowly, step by step. Figure this out in a calm and rational way.

I craned my neck to lift my head from the bed and take in the situation. For some reason my neck was much more flexible, and the movement of my head disturbed my center of mass much more than it ought to do, making me almost tumble forwards.

My whole body was entangled with the bedsheets, and for some reason it was not responding to my squirming the way it ought to. Okay, let’s see…

I lifted an arm, ready to grab the sheets and extricate myself from it all, but it came short, like… a few inches short from its intended target.

After so many years, I felt like a toddler trying to figure out my own body. A movement that was scripted in my muscle memory was just… not there anymore.

My body…

A cold sweat started to form on my brow, and the fur of my back bristled.

A hoof.

There was a hoof at the end of my arm, a slightly shorter arm than I was used to. Yeah! Enigma solved, that’s why I was unable to reach and unable to calculate distances, my arms were shorter than they used to be, and they had hooves instead of hands now. I should have thought about that…

Oh, and the bristled fur on my back… I had fur now, apparently…

What?

Wait…

Slowly, and looking back at the mess of blankets, I started to wriggle away from the bed. It was hard, and I only managed a marginal victory in that regard, and I got rewarded with the sight of more brown fur.

I looked up and caught a glimpse of orange bangs on top of my head. Oh, fancy… orange hair, it goes nicely with my brown coat.

Wait… am I a pony now!?

Have I been exposed too much to horse radiation and now I had turned into one of them?

Could it be that all those ponies were humans and then they turned into ponies when they got abduced here?

Was this all just a plot to get me?

Was I going to become one of them just like that?

Something stirred and moved under the covers without my permission. I could FEEL it was a part of me, but I hadn’t wished for something to move.

After some more wriggling I was able to free the little wiggler… a rich vibrant orange tail, shaking in annoyance.

And a nervous ruffling…

I spotted a feathery appendage that ALSO had the audacity to ruffle on its own if I stared too hard, and by the look of it, I had two of them. Where was the instruction manual for those? Nobody knew.

As I got increasingly frustrated, agitated and frightened, I notice something else. When A bird chirped, another thing on top of my head moved along, tracking the sound. When the frustration of yet another thing going on on its own got to me, said thing on top of my head went flat against my skull and all the morning sounds outside of the castle took a slightly muffled tint.

O… kay… This has to be a bad dream… a nightmare… I will pinch myself and wake up…

I just stared at my hooves, and said hooves offered no insights as to how would I pinch myself with them.

Okay… stay calm… take a deep breath and (oh my goodness, this nose is amazing, I can smell SHUT UP!) take it rationally.

I am a pony now, apparently. I have wings, so I am a Pegasus type. I need to find Purplesmart and ask for help, my ha-hooves were now shaking badly in terror.

Breathe in, breathe out… keep it together…

Oh, and ponies had another thing going on. Their markings, those things on their butts that somehow marked their destinies. Maybe I had one of those and it could somehow shine some light to this problem…

I took a look and found the most horrifying thing yet.

It was the very incarnation of tasteless, unremarkable and a thing that I particularly hated every single time I happened to land my eyes on it, so much so that I PURPOSEFULLY avoided using it when texting. And bear with me, back on Earth, that thing was something I saw a lot… A LOT! And I hated every single time I saw it.

The emoji of a laughing face with tears.

Then, and only then, I allowed myself to fully lose it and panic in a trashing screaming mess.

Author's Note

It's been a really long time, but hey, kirins are distracting, they talk a lot.

It's 3 am and I ought to be sleeping, but I got in the groove and wanted to have something to offer as soon as possible, so here it is.

Also, good news, This story might get translated into Spanish! My own story, the one I started to practice English, translated to my mother language! The irony!

Here it is, if you want to check it out: https://www.wattpad.com/1403461866-todav%C3%ADa-no-hay-se%C3%B1al-1-al-menos-no-fue-el-hechizo

My thanks to Smauldog for that, hope it goes well.